Some want it all...some are ready to give all...Love is confusing!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE.
WHEN LE BOO ISNT POPPING THE QUESTION BUT WANTS ALL...
Hi Stellalistic Stella,
Your blog has been my everyday dosage. Let me go straight to my chronicle,funny how i never thought i will be sending one. Please hide my email address.
I love match making a lot,i just derive so much joy hooking peeps together.i actually match made an old time buddy with a colleague last year,at first their relationship was rocky,but they found a common ground and they have been good.On of her visits to lagos (she stays outside Lagos)about two months ago my colleague's (her boyfriend) closest pals had a talk with my friend and asked when she will like to get married and she responded anytime the guy was ready,the pals told her that she has to be firm and pushy as regards the marriage issue as their friend won't lift a finger if she doesn't pressurize him.
After the talk,my friend started the marriage talk as advised and he (the boyfriend)appeared to be willing to do something but with no specific timing to it.Mind you, he is 35 and my friend 28.Sometimes when we all hang out he is always the one making references to marriage,how their wedding will look like...e.t.c.My friend kept on the marriage talk and after a while i advised her to take it easy on him,that he might be taking his time with one or two things.so she paused for a while.
Before the whole marriage talk,my friend was willing to relocate to Lagos to stay with me or get an apartment and also get a job as her business was going south and she was really down and broke but the guy objected to the idea.she stayed back and struggled to get back on her feet and her business is really good now.
Recently, her boyfriend wants her to leave her state and move down to Lagos.He wants to get her an apartment and a store where she can continue her business,with no formal/informal introduction between both families or any marriage rites.His reason for the move is because of the distance,he also wants to be able to see her anytime he wishes to.
My friend is as confused as i am,as there are so many unanswered questions like why did he change his mind all of a sudden?why can't he just marry her and bring her to Lagos,so she knows she is leaving for a good reason,what happens when the rent expires?Who is gonna pay the next rent?what happens if they have issues or break up?I s he gonna leave her in the apartment or send her out?Won't he be more relaxed and not even care about marriage anymore?
is it wise for her to leave her clients and move to Lagos with so much uncertainty?Why can't he use the money he budgeted for her apartment for the wedding after all he knows my friend doesn't want an elaborate wedding,Do you think my friend is too desperate for marriage?She has asked some of these questions but couldn't get anything tangible out of him.Note that this guy lives in a three bedroom apartment,has a very good job and also earns very well.
he can afford to raise a family conveniently.I would have asked him but i have a principle of hooking and not interfering. I decided to bring it here if BVs can help answer these question or give advice based on past experience.
*Is your friend desperate for Marriage?If not let her tell him the only reason she would move is if she is moving to his house as his wife....Simple!
It should give him time to make up his mind what he really wants,I think he is trying to experiment what it would be like living in the same city.Maybe he is even scared with all these Marriage stories going around.
Dont get it twisted,love is a beautiful thing ..lol
ReplyDeleteI bet that man is from Anambra. It's no tribalism, I'm Ibo, so I know what I'm talking about. He's struggling with that decision bcos, his family won't let him. Hian! My2kobo...
DeleteIt's Don Jazzy again!!!
Delete*msFerragamo
Poster come and hook me up please.
Delete*msFerragamo
Ndi chronicles
ReplyDeleteNa wa
ReplyDeleteI dey tell U
DeleteSee what 'Free Pussy Giving'is causing. Eh! When will women learn VALUE YOUR VAGINA!
Deleteshe should have a serious talk with him. ask him to define thier relationship so she can know what she's doing and where she stands. Why should she move to lagos just cos he wants her closer and tomorrow he might break up with her and she will be regretting coming to lagos because he dragged her here? will he up and leave and relocate to the state she lives in just like that?
ReplyDeletelet her talk to him to define everything. from his answers, she will know what to do
Hiannnnnn!
ReplyDeleteA LOT OF LADIES PREPARE FOR WEDDING AND NOT FOR MARRIAGE.
ReplyDeleteThe little boy is craving for his "sweet". You want to know where it is; it is in between your friend's thighs. He want to reach his sweet whenever he wants to. And as long as a man gets that; forget marriage; it is only a mirage!
This is no chronicle now, let her stay where she is oh, when he is ready she can move. It's as simple as ABC..
ReplyDeleteBut it's not your friend na, it's YOU lol.. No advice for u for saying its your friend (joking) lol.. Communicate with d guy
ReplyDeleteif the guy knows it is marriage she desperately wants he can lure her to lagos, straff her at will lead her on till 40 years and still not marry her.IN all, wisdom my dear wisdom,it is clear he doesnt want commitment but he wants all them benefits do not give in.Whether u or ur invincible friend do not relocate to lagos cos boys are not smiling.Stay back and do all to start a better line of business men are not loyal MOST TIMES not even the man that marries a woman.Why get married when he can get all benefits for free?
ReplyDeleteYour friend should allow this guy a little breathing space. The guys is still dating your friend and wants her close so he can study her very well to be sure if she is really what he wants. Marriage is not a beans and rice stuff, it's an everlasting union because the way you sound it seems like something of no important. Please you guys should allow this guy a little breathing space please. Let him study what he wants to know if it's geniue. white berry
ReplyDeleteMake she no move go anywhere except for a good reason, which is marriage. He wants her to be close so he can be eating her cookie anyhow anyhow.
ReplyDeleteBabes in Lag, please ooo stay where you are and make yourself better, and don't you ever rely on his money. This one you are talking about who will pay the next rent, please make your own money while you are waiting for him to make up his mind.
There is something fishy about this guy.
Can people just date without thinking marriage?
ReplyDeleteHave fun while it lasts.
If u r desperate, close ya legs.
Poster nothing to be confused about.
Well, teens can date without thinking marriage.....
DeleteThank u Sister. Asin must it always be marriage marriage? Can't u date that guy cos u like him, cos he has sumtin u want, cos u both are fond of each other. Must every relationship end in marriage? When u enter relationship with marriage as ur target u begin to have high blood pressure when things dnt go ur planned way. Na wah..
Deletelife isn't that complicated. If u r looking at marriage and he isn't, then dnt give in to wat he wants, it's dat simple. That way u dnt feel cheated, used abi confused.
Atheist, from d male point of view, they (men)don't date with marriage on their minds initially, for some (majority), So I wish women could do the same, just catch fun, if it ends in marriage, fine,no pressure,if it doesn't, onto d next or close leg n wait.
DeleteNice to know that the man talked about "wedding" and not "marriage". It is all in a bid to get the girl to cooperate with cookies delivery. The girl should divert the discussions from wedding to marriage; it will show her if he is serious. Here are discussion topics;
ReplyDelete1. Our careers; levels and who goes first for this and that degrees
2. Our finances; joint account with either to sign/taking care of our respective parents/ which relatives to admit and take up responsibility and which not to etc.
3. Our kids/ number (gender matters interference or not), discipline (he knew how to do it; my weakest point), schooling/fees etc.
4. Scriptures/prayers/fasting (fixed and did it together): Church denominational issues trashed; we should attend any but together etc.
5. Wedding; non denominational (had to bring the two families together), low key (invest the money instead of lavishing it in a day on frivolities)/ attires (no need buying an exorbitant wedding dress from UK and having it as a liability afterwards),
I concur with Stella
ReplyDeleteMove becos of bf who want to wife you illegally. Once you move na Cook and washerwoman you go be...just negodu mansense
ReplyDeleteFollow Stella's advice, I'm more confused than you. The guy want to eat his cake and have it, he's not ready for marriage but he wants all the benefits of marriage, the lady should not concur to such agreement, her coming to Lagos should be after she's married to him, if not, he will only turn her to baby mama
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Move becos of bf who want to wife you illegally. Once you move na Cook and washerwoman you go be...just negodu mansense
ReplyDeleteMove becos of bf who want to wife you illegally. Once you move na Cook and washerwoman you go be...just negodu mansense
ReplyDeleteChronicles!!! My reasoning engine is low today. Lemme just read comments *spreads mat*
ReplyDeleteAbeg bvs,I need help ooo.My bf na footballer but I dey doubt him.he told me he dey Spain he dey play but he nver take pic for dere.Nasoso Nigerian pic he go dey use.Even for inside plane,he no take pic.Now he is back for dis under17 screening and he still hasn't take pics.it is only pic taken by other people he dey use as his dp on bb.I have nver seen him on Jersey. Abeg shey he dey lie nii?OSU Mi ooo.He don lie to me bf sef Dat his uncle house na hin papa house and later I got to know na lie.I told him to send me pic(under17)he sent me lastyr pix.He doesn't know he has sent it bf.Am scared ooo
Delete@ anon 16:59
DeleteYoruba Dullad
You're dating your phone idiot!
Anon 16:59, u know he is lying, just dump his sorry ass before u will come and write ur own chronicle.
DeleteHow old is he that he's dating you and qualifying for under 17? That alone is a lie Na 😂
DeleteStella is right
ReplyDeleteWOMEN ALWAYS WANT MARRIAGE AND KIDS. MEN ALWAYS WANT SEX AND NOTHING ELSE. THE MAN WANT THE VAGINA TO BE CLOSER TO HIS PENIS AND THAT'S THE ONLY REASON HE WANTS HER IN LAGOS.
ReplyDeleteSolution: Keep the vagina closed and far away and he will do the marriage. That's the pressure his friend meant.
Will they hear??????????????
DeleteHe wants to keep milking the cow, without officially buying the cow, thats how i see it... If she makes such wrong move, she'd be his puppet till whenever hes ready to make things official, if he will ever, knowing well that she cant just up and leave.
ReplyDeleteWell said aunt stells. Communication is d key.
ReplyDeleteYour friends should give him the terms and conditions under which she would move. Abeg, let's not cheapen ourselves in front of these men. Brb
ReplyDeleteThe guys wants her around to know if she's good enough for him. But I will advise her to stay in her state and move only when marriage calls. Too much familiarity breeds insult. The law of see finish might set Inn. Match maker, tell her to stay where she is and u too stop pressurising her, cos I feel u are pushing her to do things coz u have done yours.
ReplyDeleteHahahahhahhahhahhahaaaaaaaaaaaa! The guy doesn't want her close to him. He wants sex close to him!
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella. no need to add my own.
ReplyDeleteI was talking that there is too much totoh and prick matter. Na him i come see GHOST for this blog on Saturday.
You guys will not kill someone at all. SPIRIT HAS BEEN AROUND NOW IT IS GHOST.
I'm of the opinion that she shouldn't move unless they are getting married. Her business is going fine already, getting married would be the only tangible reason to throw all that away because of a guy. What if something happens between them and she probably doesn't get a job on time.
ReplyDeleteI'd advise she keeps mute on d marriage thing for sometime and also not agree to moving to the same state with him till he can give reasonable answers to the questions you asked up there!
The guy should marry your friend,then relocate her to Lagos as his wife.
ReplyDeleteWhy spend unnecessary money paying for apartment.
Marriage one way.
WTF 🍝🍝
ReplyDeletesorry to divert ur attention: This ring don de tay for my hand oh, im starting to be ashamed of it, he proposed and lost his job the next month, thats how we've been hopeful for 1yr 3months now.... shame no gree commot am too, this life eh, after all the hailing on FB
ReplyDeleteOk na, shift it to your pinky finger.
DeletePlease find a job to support him and yourself .
DeleteSorry dear, i feel for u. My husband lost his job a month to wedding. It's not easy my dear. M My advice for u, is to stand firm n see God in action
DeleteHmmm some women bring badluck to men. I prayed to be a favour,a blessing,not a hindrance, so pray for urselves ladies.
DeleteMy bf proposed, I accepted,we wedded, a month later, he landed a job with one of d big multinational oil producing. Before then he was a crane operator. Talk about favour.
Anon 18:37 u just wanted to brag or what? This is simply a trying period. Madam if u are working,instead of u to turn to lord of d rings, and ur Oga is also hustling go and do court wedding and continue ur lives as husband and wife. Later wen things pick up u can do proper wedding u wished for. You also hv to b prayerful.all this social media flaunting no b am @ all,u don't knw who has good or bad intentions towards u.
Delete*hugs* Prayer is the key anon.
DeleteIt is well
ReplyDeleteWow...You can't really tell whats going thru his mind
My advice
come to lag and get pregnant,
He'll take wine to your father strait
Afterall you were on your own before he asked u to move
God forbid. Poster follow this advise and you are finshed!
DeleteI will read comments.............
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaa! Story for d gods. Abeg it's ur chronicle not ur friends like u said. N no advise today, am officially on strike.
ReplyDeleteSeen
ReplyDeleteSeen
ReplyDeleteTell your friend to relax, there is no rush to get married.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't mention the word LOVE in this chronicle, or did I miss it?
Let her re-assess her reasons of wanting to marry this dude because all I see here is desperation and insecurity.
He is not her husband. If he was, he will be too desperate and eager to wife her.
There is a sense of pride and security that comes when a woman knows her husband cant do without her and vice -versa...let her pray for her own man and not this immature boy.
ReplyDeleteBeing Single is not easy in today's culture. Generations ago people marry at early as their teens or early twenties. Today people marry at late thirties.
FIVE REASONS WHY PEOPLE SAY I DON'T WANT TO MARRY
Excuse #1. Afraid of loosing their freedom.
Excuse #2. Bad role models. I don't want to marry b'cos I don't want my marriage to be bad as that.
Excuse #3. Building careers.
Excuse #4. Benefit without any commitment. Friends with benefits. Why do I have to marry when I can do what marry people do. I' m enjoying free "ride sex", she cooks for me etc.
Excuse #5. They just don't want to be responsible. We want
everything without responsibility. These things have created a world of hurt and pain.
LIFE MOTTO FOR SOME MEN- "DON'T MAKE COMMITMENT" This means that commitment of a personal nature should be avoided. In addition they think they will be tied down if you never commit yourself to anyone, you never get hurt.
NEGATIVE - 1. Single people living their lives by Worldly
principles. They lose their affection for the Lord. They fall for anything with breath
2. Sleeping with the person they hoped to marry in the
future-your soul becomes tied to that person. B'cos sex is not casual-there is more to it.
ON BEHALF OF MY SINGLE SISTERS' I Decree and declare that Satan and his demons will not use any human to separate you from your future husband in the name of JESUS.
Amén IJN. Bless you sis
DeleteExactly, follow Stella advise...
ReplyDeleteI want to read comments cos I can relate.
ReplyDeleteMy brain no just settle to advice ur friend ...
ReplyDeleteOver to the settled brains abeg
Your friend should play it cool and should not leave her life for the one she is not sure of.
ReplyDeleteTruth is most men are more scared to go into marriage than women! And men can so hide their vulnerability eh and are often misunderstood for no longer being in love or not interested in the other person anymore. This happens especially when the presence of the lady to be married does not make the spirit of the man calm. Now if the lady keeps pushing in most cases it worsens d situation in the senses that the man might back out completely or if he yields to the pressure, will end u frustrating himself or the wife in the marriage. The best solution in this situation has always been to give space and time to calm his spirit and think about what he really wants. But out of fear of loosing the man and desperation to get married most women don't like to take this route in solving this kind of issue, hence this chronicle asking what should I do as if they don't know what to do.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeletePoster, take it to God in prayer,
ReplyDeletePoster's Friend*
DeleteGod has given her Brains already!!!!
DeleteHmmmm!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, no man is worth getting rid of your dreams or ambitions for.
Not to talk of someone who is dragging feet.
Not like he's even a spring chicken.
If he wants to know what living in the same city with her will be like, he should at least give her a ring, go meet her parents, and begin making preparations for a wedding, while she explores her business options in Lagos.
Not tomorrow now, he'll dump her; high, dry, broke and frustrated.
Infact, she should ask him what exactly his plans are, and know whether to move on already. Ah ahn!
#WhiteDiamondOut
Hmmm,I'm not sure the guy wants to get married now,the only way to hook him is with pregnancy.
ReplyDeletePlease tell your friend to be sure she won't regret if she relocate and even if she makes up her mind to go,she should save enough money incase the guy starts misbehaving.
Abeg o! No try tha gamble o! 'hooking guy with pregnancy' ask Paul okoye babymama how it went down when she tried it.
DeletePoster please don't advice your girlfriend to be pregnant oo. It doesn't keep a man.
DeleteLemme read comments.
ReplyDeleteWait, If he had talked about marriage you would have abandoned everything and come down to Lagos....the only reason you're asking us is because marriage isn't part of the proposal....the degree of despiration in ladies nowadays is alarming.
ReplyDeleteAsking questions from a man that u are comfortable with while naked is not an act of desperation to me, he wants you to move to Lagos, no problem; my darling why am I moving? Why should I come? What will I tell my parents?. I started asking questions in my relationship three months into it. So my dear ask questions and don't see it as an act of desperation at all, u just need to know where you belong as to beable to stand.
ReplyDeleteYou haven't come this far to only come this far...
ReplyDeleteSHE SHOULDN'T MOVE OOO....I MOVED TO LAGOS LAST YEAR BECAUSE OF BOO AND MARRIAGE PLAN...NOW AM SO SINGLE..ITS NOT EVEN UPTO A YEAR. SINGLE AND BOO-LESS, I RESIGNED TO COME HERE. SHE SHOULDN'T LEAVE OO TO AVOID THIS TYPE OF STORY
ReplyDeleteDo not move ooo,but if you want to move...get to know some of his people then get pregnant if not with time you will loss him.cos it is obvious that he is not ready or you are not really what he wants as a wife.But wants to do you a favour by brining you to Lagos.
ReplyDeleteposter fellow stella advice
ReplyDeleteYou people no get issues. You said you do not like interfering after hooking people up..so wat is this that you are doing? poke nosing! Let your friend make her decisions and leave them both alone, before you say another thing and they blame it on you. Abeg face your own!
ReplyDeleteThis isn't a chronicle at all. Why are you moving? Why don't you ask him to move to where you are instead- if all he wants is for you to be closer? It can work both ways. See if he is willing. If he wants you closer and wants you to make sacrfices then he too should be willing?? abi ??
ReplyDeleteThis isn't a chronicle at all. Why are you moving? Why don't you ask him to move to where you are instead- if all he wants is for you to be closer? It can work both ways. See if he is willing. If he wants you closer and wants you to make sacrfices then he too should be willing?? abi ??
ReplyDeleteDear Poster...He is trying to know if you are willing to make sacrifice of love for him. If he eventually marries you, you will still move to Lagos.
ReplyDeleteMy advise is, get a sales girl to look after your shop, while you move temporarily to Lagos. Make sure you visit often to oversee your shop. Since marriage is a priority to you. Relationship is all about compromise.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
No advice from me since u are hiding under the "disguise" of "my freind". When u need advice send in another chronicle stating it is yours. My frnd this, my frnd that. Supposed mouth piece of d fereration.
ReplyDeleteChronicles! Just sipping my Oolong tea and reading comments! Lazy morning over here!
ReplyDeleteWhich Lagos? Tell your friend to better put her nyash down n close her legs. The guy wan chop the cookies anytime the thing go hungry ham, and tomorrow if the thing no sweet him again, him go packaged your friend out or back to her village. Girls should learn quick na.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, better tell your friend not to move an inch from where she is staying..that was how my aunty relocated to another city in the name of following her boo leaving her business, she spent 3 years in his house without any bride price or marriage rites performed on her head and at the end of the day,they broke up and she is now back to square one.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, darling, but each time I hear or read about a lady or a guy in a relatively new relationship where getting married becomes an issue, my default setting is to question the relationship.
ReplyDeleteWithin a year of interstate courtship, the relationship had some hiccups but they weathered the storm. About 2 months ago the guy's closest friend asked her when she would like to get married and her response was "any time the guy was ready". He advised her to pressurise her boo or he wouldn't lift a finger. That means she has been putting pressure on him for the past 2 months, no? Within these 2 months her boo has been talking marriage without being specific with details. After a while you told her to take it down a notch because he may be taking his time. All these within a duration of 2 months? Wow! Where's the fire?
I think she should put the whole marriage thing on hold until she knows what she wants. A lady who knows what she wants wouldn't leave the timing of her marriage to whenever her guy is ready. She should have an idea when she wants to get married but she should keep it to herself, and use it as a guide. The only person she should be discussing marriage with is her man and not his friend, not even you. Of course, her man should be the one to bring it up. What's with all the fuss about getting married to the man presently in a lady's life? Why not get to enjoy the process of dating and be sure this person is the right partner for you?
Out of the blue, he starts wanting to set her up and relocate her to the state he's in and even rent an apartment and set up a shop for her without any commitment on his part, like a sugar daddies would his mistress?
The only reason a lady should relocate to another state is because she wants to be with her HUSBAND, not boyfriend, not even fiance. The only reason a lady should close down her business or resign from her job to start a new in another state is for her marriage to work but there still is a caveat. As long as she has the resources to start up her business in the new state and not assume her husband would assist her financially. If he does, perfect! If not, at least she can start up on her own instead of being a liability. The only security a lady has is her business or her job or both. Giving up either of them for a man will be at her peril. It may or may not work out, it's a chance she must be willing to take.
As an aside, ladies, please stop the craze to get married immediately a guy says "hello". Stop punctuating every sentence you make with "marriage". If you have to cajole or "force feed" your man to put a ring on it, something is askew in the relationship. Stop giving ultimatums! Stop dropping hints! Men are wired to hunt, if they want you as a wife, they will come for you effortlessly. You don't need to wave a red flag like a matador trying to get the attention of a bull. Remember, getting married is not the issue. Staying happily married to the right person is what truly matters.
Don't close down your business because of a guy that's not even your husband. Think!
ReplyDeleteIf he rents a house for you, who will renew the rent when it expires? Let me tell you something, if a guy want to marry you, he will do it before the issue of relocation.