Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.

W-A-H-A-L-A Dey!!!!!

Madam Stella, I am in trouble oh, big dilemma, big wahala, I am sick to my stomach! All because of my stupidity.

Straight to the matter. I have been seeing my bf for a little over 2 years, initially, I didn’t think it would get serious because I didn’t like him enough but we stayed on with each other and I have become attached to him, even at that, I thought the relationship will fizzle away at some point cos we are just there, you know, it’s not as if there are fireworks but I "love" him and respect him.  

Somewhere in between, I exchanged numbers with his friend (without my bf’s knowledge because his jealousy can be deadly) and we started talking. Sometime last year, my boo travelled out of the country for a month and I misbehaved. Madam Stella, I misbehaved oh!!!! I think I am a trustworthy person, my bf has never had any reason to doubt me, I am where I should be most of the time, I just don’t know how I just agreed to the exciting advances. 

 I am not about to blame his friend because I am 100% responsible for my actions. 

Bottom line is that we gbenshed and then continued!!! 

We have been doing this since august last year. The most delicious gbenshing I have ever gbenshed my whole life. My beloved bf is still a gbenshing learner to put it mildly.  This secret lover of mine pays attention to every part of my body, he wakes me up, and it makes me want him all the time, he made me experience and understand the big O in the short time I have been doing this with him (by the way I got disvirgined at 24, my brothers put the fear of God in me)

The problem is I can’t even direct my bf to do what his friend does because I am afraid he might become suspicious, our gbenshing is so predictable I know every step he takes till he is ok, he doesn’t even want to know if I am ok or not, plus we don’t even do it always. We can do 4 or 5 times in a month and he is fine, he is not demanding and he doesn’t get it elsewhere, I am 100% sure of that. I used to think that was normal until this his friend touched me. 

I am not a saint oh, but I haven’t been too exposed like that, my parents are OLD SCHOOL so it affected me small but now I have seen the light. I also don’t think I am crazy about sex, just that I love goooooood sex. I can gbensh 5 times in a month and I am fine as long as it is good.

The problem now is my bf proposed to me out of the blues on Monday, how can you even propose to someone on a Monday? It wasn’t his birthday, it wasn’t mine, it wasn’t special at all, totally unexpected, I didn’t see it coming at allllll, I was completely blindsided, I thought I was ready but the side gbenshing is confusing me. I sha took the ring and said an unenthusiastic yes, he even asked what the problem was and I said I am just shocked, I mean,  I think we should have at least talked about it earlier , don’t people talk about these things first? 

He doesn’t read any blogs, he is not on fb, I personally downloaded bbm and whatsapp on his fone, he is just not that kind of person. He is such a nice, quiet, sweet heart, but too quiet, if he expresses himself more I am sure I will know what he is thinking....... even when I talk talk he will say I should talk less and reason more (in a respectful way oh). I love him enough to marry him but I need this impending problem to be fixed. 

People should discuss this marriage thing before the man proposes to the woman please. We are not always on the same page, I never pressured him about marriage, I have not dropped any hints at all, since the 2yrs plus we've been dating, I have cooked 2times only, I don’t know why he wants to do this now. I am not even wearing the ring, I have avoided seeing him all week.  I know my immediate elder brother sometimes tease him about marrying me and in January I remember he told him he will attend my wedding as a guest if he doesn’t move fast. 

Since Monday oh, I haven’t told anybody in my house, he asked me what my people said I told him I will tell them this weekend. Weekend don reach now, I am sure he will ask me again. Because he said we should work towards December.

So I talked to my gbenshing partner, and he said I should go ahead and marry my bf but we have to keep gbenshing even after I marry his friend because he really, really likes me too and when I asked him if he will ever tell, he just said he will be fine as long as I don’t stop satisfying him. I insisted he should promise he won’t talk and he shocked me even more by saying if am too worried I shouldn’t marry him cos nothing ever stays hidden.

 I don’t know if that is a subtle threat but I am too worried about it, he couldn’t even look at me when he said that. Since we started this secret act, he has actually asked me several times to break up with my bf and date him…….(I can’t even start talking about his complicated marital status right now because I will be eaten alive on your blog).  

Both of them treat me right but I know and love my man better, just that he is too quiet, toooo quiet and can be mean only when offended. He once told me he didn’t talk to his mother for 4 months because she did something I think didn’t really matter, to me oh, 4 months without talking to your mum? 

This tells me that if he ever finds out about me and his friend I will be thrown out, finished, done!  All of this makes sense now, he never lets me mix with some of his friends, especially my secret lover and I think I have some craziness hidden in me just waiting to erupt, my brothers have kept me grounded for too long, just the sound of their voices scare me, even at my old age.

Please how do I get out of this? I have girlfriends but don’t keep any close friends or best friends, I don’t have a sister, my 4 elder brothers and their wives are not even my mates (I think I’m my parents mistake but they keep denying it, my immediate elder brother is 11 years older for pete’s sake. 

My bf call him sir and even dobales for the other ones), I am not close to my female cousins and my mother may take me to a church for deliverance if I ever tell her this kind of story. 

 I keep asking myself how I got here cos this is not me. I didn’t know this man will propose to me, no be say I fine like that, no be say I young like that ( I am above 25 and below 30), I think that I just look ok with professional make up. How did I end up here oh!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like running away from both of them, maybe it is time to ignore my beloved mother’s blackmail  and do masters like every other person in a country far far far away.

I keep asking myself how I let myself get into this mess. I read chronicles and laugh at people sometimes, but look at me typing this madam Stella, feeling very stupid with myself. 

Why did I give him my number, why, why why whyyy whyyyyyyy, what a disappointment I will be if this gets out, I can just hear my 2^nd brother’s voice now, he is the meanest and now that he cant beat me he uses his mouth.

 Ahhh, madam Stella oh! My mama will faint if she hears this oh, I should have broken up with him quietly. I am not a churchy churchy person but I will certainly go and pray in church this Sunday, my 5th service in 2016. Help me please, only reasonable advice, please I beg you. 

 I have to see my parents and maybe call my brothers today or tomorrow so I need to know wat to do. please please please... madam stella, no red ink please, I don't want to cry more than I have already, please.