Sunday In House Gist + Freestyle.

Today gist is quite funny....I will announce the winner anytime after the 100th comment.
Get your account number ready...lol

  GIST 1

BLIND DATE 

My fellow BVN,I have been wondering why people refuse to show on getting to meet someone for the first time until I found out myself 2weeks ago.

I have been talking with this guy on phone for some time and his voice is just out of this world with good English. We started a relationship without meeting and it wasn't just a game,we were dating to marry eventually.we exchanged pictures and he was not looking bad.

He described himself to be average height,fair in complexion,very handsome,well built body structure with macho,not fat-not slim,flat tommy with swag. You needed to have heard how this guy described and hyped himself,(Nna,nkooh).We decided to meet.he has to come over and we'll Lodge in a guest house.

The "D" day came,I dressed as if I was going to meet the president of Nigeria,make I no carry last na,(you can imagine).over excitement wan kill me because I was anticipating to see this handsome young man I have been dying for.

He got to the park before me and was at the waiting hall patiently waiting for me.When I got there,He saw me first and said I should turn,(o boy see slow motion)I turned and saw 2 guys with their phones in the ears.One fine ,one no fine.(if na you who you go go meet,no be the one wey fine?)Ehe!,I was walking towards the fine guy,when the other guy said,Hi dear!(for my mind I shouted Jesus!this is not happening) I wanted to disappear but it was too late.I had to put on a smiling face.

As I went closer to him,my heart was beating so fast.I started having fever and at the same time sweating profusely.He said baby,you are sweating(for my mind,I said,ode!why I no go sweat?when I am seeing a horror movie).What I saw was the reverse of everything he described.

I first of all, sited his pencil leg with pencil jean trousers.his shirt was very big on him and he starched the shirt and he was just dancing inside it.I now looked at his shoe,o boy,see timberland shoe.He was looking so funny in my eyes,more like a cartoon.when I now looked at his handsome face as he described,I fainted in my mind.I said shuuuuuu!what is this?His lips just managed to cover his teeth.when he now smiled to hug me,I wanted to hide.Height nko,this guy no see average sef,he is brief.(for my mind,I said,I don enter one chance today)....

He said ,baby you look amazing.I smiled,(for my mind I said,who is your baby?if only I will not delete your number right here.)

We got to the guest house and talked for sometime,Naim my guy begin act funny.I said no way,we are not going to do anything ooh.He looked at me and said "Not me".Before I could say jack Robinson,he has undressed himself.My eyes went straight to his prickometre,O boy fear catch me ooh.no be the size dey fear me but the thing was pointing to the ceiling even as he was standing up(I was like,what the hell is this?End time Prick).

I have never seen this type before in my life.I thought it's supposed to be pointing horizontally na?please correct me if I am wrong about this.

My people,it was vaginismus that saved me.When I came back and gisted my friend,she was rolling on the floor laughing.she come dey make jest of me on top,say"see the bride's maid wey I don dey prepare to do now" Loooooolz.

I hope you laughed.

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GIST 2
DELIVERANCE 'FALL'

hello Stella and BVNs,

my neighbour told us this gist when we were discussing fake pastors yesterday.

His course mate who was an usher in one of these new generatiin

churches was pestering him to visit their church so he decided to

attend their 1st friday miracle vigil with his friend.

As the vigil progressed,  they started 'deliverance' and his friend fell under the 'annointing' he rolled from the middle of the church where they sat to the choir section screaming 'yes Lord'

At the choir section he started kicking the instruments. the ushers tried to tame him but he was uncontrollable.the entire church was in total darkness as he had destroyed the wiring with his kicks. Even the microphone was no longer working at this point.

He was about climbing the altar to continue destruction before the pastor ordered the security to take him out.

It was on their way home that he told my neighbour that the pastor

pushed him hard under the guise of deliverance and he fell down so he

decided to teach them a lesson.This is the end of my story.

Hope its not too dry?