Another Saturday to Laugh and laugh....Have a great day.
GIST 1
THE OKRO CURSE
*clears throat*
Hello Stella, na me again
this one happened when i was working in a restaurant in Abuja.
there is this 'wickid' okro we normally cook with a very generous
amount of smoked titus finished and we the staff are allowed to carry
the leftover okro home because it cannot be used the next day. You can
imagine our joy whenever okro remains.
So on this fateful day, okro was remaining so i tied mine inside
waterproof and set out to my bus stop (sky memorial) where i will
board BRT popularly known as El Rufai home. The hustle for El Rufai no
be here bcos it was cheaper(half the normal price) but as a smart ass,
i always manage to get a seat.
As i got close to the bus stop, i saw my El Rufai making a U-turn so I
quickly activated Usain Bolt mode.
it was at this point my ancestors decided to strike. the bottom of
the water proof got torn and my delicious okro poured on the ground
leaving me with the waterproof. i quickly dropped the water proof,
mixed with the crowd and hustled my way into the bus, got a seat by
the window and sat down quietly while wearing my nost innocent face.
A few minutes later, I saw the guy selling wallets and belts dragging
a small girl to clean up 'her mess'. she was wearing pink top and
black skirt just like yours truly.
The girl kept refusing ooo but the guy over powered her and forced her
to clean the place. she cried all through and vowed that 'e no go
better for the person wey do this thing'
Dearest BVNs, could her curse be the reason i am still hustling 5k
almost three years later?
Abeg make una vote oo
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
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GIST 2
KNEEL DOWN LET ME PRAY FOR YOU
Yes!
I just remembered what happened in my school, Law Faculty.
Some lecturers can sha toast babes in different ways especially under duress or victimization.
As usual, after the lecture, the lecturer asked this lady to see him in his office (I believed it was her turn on his time-table to 'try your luck').
Meanwhile the lady abi make I call her girl bcos she been never reach 26yrs old, can form CLASFON (Christian Law Students Fellowship of Nig.) member. On getting to the office, she just chill. Na so the man begin yan dust oo. Dey razzle the babe. Next tin we hear na, she screameddddddd JESUS!!! She started jumping like she's been overtaken by the Holy Spirit, Na so she begin cabash!
Choi! She started speaking in tongues oo-. Re tee tee ba ba ba. Do you know who I am? Zonte rabascoto lalaaaa Jesus, no Barr.*** do you know who I am?
The lecturer was in shock and shame. He started begging the student oo,, he would place his palm over his mouth and begged and said please don't shout, please I'm sorry.
The girl com say, oya kneel down let me pray for you. Heeyyy rabatatata skende robooo, I say go on your knees!!!
Na so our able lecturer kneel down, the student placed her hand on his head and prayed for him, she still speak in tongues on top the head oo to forgive his sins.
She left. Come see shame. He could not leave his office till late evening. Meanwhile the girl no know book like that sef. But that incident made her pass his Course and got her engaged to one mumu quiet lecturer that can't talk to babe becos that one na timid reserved born again lawyer. So with her engagement and subsequent marriage to the lecturer, she found favors and she scaled thru all other courses reach Final year. She don go Law school fail sha.
We haven't forgotten the matter till date and we pass in on to the next generations in the Law Faculty.
Choi! Kneel down let me pray for you.
Buhahahahahaaaa!
She was our junior and those that had 'submitted' earlier, regretted and wished they had such vision.
Hope I did not west ya tym sha!
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GIST 3
MY REAL FACE
Good day my fellow bvn's. Hmmm. My gist goes like this. I received a call from bae and he asked me to come to his house that there is something he wants to discuss with me, oboy come see as my heart cut, i hurriedly pack my clothes for work and other stuffs then zoomed off.
When i got there he was excited to see me we gist normal, then i asked whatsup; he said some1 was sacked today and they were all sad blah blah blah; shuuu na be the discussion? I vex eh.
Next morning , was time for work, had my bath, dressed up, sit down for front of mirror lo and behold i forgot my MAKE UP Purse! See scream wen i scream. LMAO bae wan laugh me die, he was like just get an extra make up purse and leave it in my house (in my mind i was saying can we just get married already? Sleep over don tire me eh).
To think that i am this 'make up on fleek' babe with shaved brows, choi.
When i got to to the office come and see questions; are you sick? What happened to you? Have you being crying etc. In my mind eh.....
One day...
ReplyDeleteKneel down let me pray for you...
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Lol @she blind, I don't really know who to vote for among you
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Why won't you know? It's so easy.
DeleteGist one for now
*msFerragamo
Shud I read today's ihg or not? somborry advise me bfr I west my thyme.
ReplyDeleteI vote gist 1
DeleteHmnnnnn!Gist 1, all for 5k? Oriegwu!I vote your gist though. Incase you win the 5k,invest it in looking for solution to the curse placed on you. LMAO.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteMust you say her details just to warn others. Na wa for you
DeleteTiwa sorry oooo!
ReplyDeleteThat gist na die... LMAO
Errrrrm, the last gist *thinking* ur composition made me feel like I got wacked on the head with a tree trunk, anyway hope u passed English language sha
ReplyDeleteLolzz
ReplyDeleteNa so Stella no gree post my own."wekendness" in high places.
ReplyDeleteLemme sha vote gist 1
The only interesting one there is non of the above.😫
ReplyDeleteCreate the one that can make your bitter soul happy
DeleteThe only interesting one there is non of the above.
ReplyDeleteThe only interesting one there is non of the above.
ReplyDeleteBORING!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is stuffs?
ReplyDeleteLast gist got me laughing badly
ReplyDeleteNt funny
ReplyDeleteGet lost from here
DeleteKikikikikiki lol! All those dat said the jokes aint funny Oya knee down lemme pray for u
ReplyDeleteLast gist was funny
ReplyDeleteI vote for the last gist, gist 4.
ReplyDeleteGist1,the last line got me lol
ReplyDeletei vote for the last gist...all other gist composers, goodluck with the struggle
ReplyDelete@poster2 oponu apoda
ReplyDeleteGist one has my vote. All the bitter souls in this blog should go on their kneels let's hammer prayers on their bitter souls. If you think is not funny enough,then create one and let's vote for you
ReplyDeleteD okro gist got my vote
DeleteGist 4
ReplyDeleteLast gist is funny,i can relate u know when I started using glasses to form sometimes it makes some things look far some others ll look low meanwhile its the opposite.I remember I will take the glasses off if I want to cross d road or when I want to look for some thing as if I no dae see well with the glasses on.
ReplyDeleteGist 4
ReplyDeleteGist 1 and the last one were funny.can't vote,would have voted gist 1
ReplyDeleteGist 1. If na me that okrotting happen to eh.... E 4 still dey pain me o 😢
ReplyDelete*smokes imported weed*
I vote gist 2
ReplyDeleteI vote for the first gist.
ReplyDeleteI vote for the last gist.
ReplyDeleteI vote Gist 2
ReplyDeleteI vote for gist one.
ReplyDeleteI vote for gist 2
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGist 1
ReplyDeleteGist 2-knee down let me pray for you 😂😂😂
ReplyDeletegist two, kneel down let me pray for you. very funny
ReplyDeleteGist one does it for me. Even the way you told the story is captivating. For all those that keep shouting not funny, please pick up a sense of humour already. They are real life incidences(imagine it happened to you and see if you can't relate).
ReplyDeleteGist one
ReplyDelete