This questions might be for you if you have been caught in this ship before or are in one right now as you read!...Please read carefully and answer them...
''Good day SDK,
Keep up the good work. I have a serious question which I will like to ask our BVs but will like to remain anonymous.
How do people who are dating or married to people who they are not attracted to cope in the relationship/marriage.
How do they endure intimacy? I'm asking because these days, many people marry or date because of age, pressure, money, connection, security, other good attributes, etc and not love.
How the relationship dey take be? Were some of you able to fall in love with the person with time or are you enduring or are you regretting? When you fall out of love with your partner in marriage, what do you do''?
Let me read comments.
ReplyDeleteQuestion for carol danjuma, dabota Lawson and the likes to answer...the are bvns , so pls give us ur sincere advise under anon..lmao
DeleteAbeg u guys should yansh down somewhere!
DeleteIf u are under pressure to marry or u got married due to pressure,pls carry ur cross cause is part of your destiny!
You lots have been saying demeaning things to Linda ikeji.... how she is not going to die with her mansion!
Nobody is going to die with their spouse or family also!
Please u bv's should rock ur gwemz life to the fullest after all Rita Dominic is doing it and some people that are fustrated at life are tormenting her!
Stella, if u like post!
We have lots of dumb people in this blog!
Story of my life....now I've fallen in love outside the union,and everything with the oda man(who's also married) is just perfect. I hate the situation I am in, but seems my sanity and happiness for the last 2yrs is tied to this oda man. May God help me out
DeleteSee Portable o, Itiboribo calling BVS dumb
DeleteKai!
I don't blame you. It's that neighbor of you that has refused to put a password on his WiFi I blame.
Same here o! Am in love with another man. Hubby has been a terrible flirt and he seem not to care sef. So I jejely park up my heart, it now beats for another man. We just keeping up the charade of marriage! I don't feel guilty cos I fought for my man, I begged, talked to everyone, his family, his friends, insulted him, loved him, pleaded let's talk several times, he was advised he didn't care. Can't wallow in the hurt anymore. Found succour.
DeleteAnon 14:08 , the question is not for you...what you are facing is what majority of married women face , they fall in love with the wrong men and marry them only to end up regretting...
DeleteAnon13:19 shows how dumb most women are... U fallen in love with another married man , it has been in your blood, its so certain that u b prostitute b4 marriage, fucking married men and u still cant get over it... Devil Wey dey ur village never free you
Anon16:20... U are an idiot... Na who ask you? Who are you to judge or know the answer to peoples problem. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Ode person. Your wife or girlfriend is probably fucking someone else because you are an idiot. I hate people that Judge others. Go sort out your life. Oloshi
DeleteAnon 13.19 we dey d same boat o. Now I've found sanity in my life, my hubby continues in his non challant ways and I just smile bcos I enjoy d love,money and affection of a sexton handsome n loaded man who loves me to pieces,dont worry, he has enuff for his wife also. And I get to do yimu to my horseband and still chop his money. Make we dey do am dey go.
DeleteNever been in the shoes.
ReplyDeleteAbeg, who love don epp?
DeleteAnon 16.03. Love don help me. Not everyone married for material things inugo.
DeleteMy dear it has helped some pple
DeleteHas it helped you?
DeleteInukwa ajuju? Don't you know money can automatically make some pple to love an ape? Both men and women.
ReplyDeleteWhy ru making my mind go to Oshiomole na? Ure not a nice person.
DeleteAswear!
Delete*tongue out
DeleteAtheist u r funny
DeleteLmao
DeleteI have fall out of love before in a relationship, and was just coping out of pity for my partner so don't don't know dat of marriage. Never been there.
ReplyDeleteLove grows. Love isn't enough in marriage. In the olden days people don't marry for love but they fell in love (genuinely) on the way and lasted happily together till death do them apart. It is even now that the so called love is overhyped that the marriage don't last and they cheat on each other like they were forced into the marriage .
DeleteYou fell out of love because u didn't respect your partner or the relationship and u got distracted... How would you have felt if he did same to you, how u sure he at one time, fell out of love but did tell u but instead rekindled it cos the respect he had for you... Well be prepared for your karma... Women and selfishness be like conjoined twins
DeleteAnon 16.25. Thank you
DeleteAnony 16:25 some women not all
DeleteI would like to know these things too.
ReplyDeleteMake I read comments here.
Can never marry someone I'm not attracted to because of money. But I guess for those who do due to different reasons, love grows over the years from what I've heard. You grow to love that person and start finding the person attractive . Sometimes you never do though
ReplyDeleteYou're right,sometimes the love grows.Most times however,it never does.That's when the couple begin to cheat on each other.
DeleteMy dear, it's a 2 way thing.
DeleteYou either grow to love the person or you could also marry for love and grow out of love.
Your father yansh!
DeleteGo and look 4 ur long lost parents in the zoo
Monkey face... U hv said it all... U just found the solution that has been lingering for ages in foolish women's hearts
DeleteBrb to read comments
ReplyDeleteU just fall in love with dat thing dat makes u accept to marry him , dat will b wat u will b loving not d person in question. If na money make u marry den keep loving d money, If d money stop coming as before den divorce will b d next option.
ReplyDeleteMarry for love else you ho become endurance for life.
ReplyDeleteMarry for love else you go become endurance for life.
ReplyDeleteI can't fit to pretend to like someone o, kai the person will definitely know.
ReplyDeleteSame here.
DeleteThat's so me... I don't know how people do that.
DeleteEya...every one has issues sha
ReplyDelete752 comment 2016
End time question #AppleofGod'seye#
ReplyDeleteHmmm this is a very dicey one but I can't be in a relationship unless I'm attracted to the person first... that way, it can turn to love and even something more.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm not attracted to you, nothing in this world will bring about any form of intimacy... it just won't work but then attraction is relative. I might be attracted to your money and that will arouse me of course... it might be how intelligent you are...it could be anything but bottom line, I should be attracted to you first, then we can go from there.
Chai,this your comment makes all sorts of sense.In my case however,there has to be a strong physical attraction before I can let myself get intimate with you.But for me to even be friendly with you,gist and laugh about stuff,I must be attracted to your person.I'm generally attracted to very smart and tall guys so those two must be present before we can even take it to the next level.I love guys that add value to my life,if you ain't got that,no deal hun.
DeleteEnd time question #AppleofGod'seye#
ReplyDeleteAnything is possible with money
ReplyDeleteSo ppl think, then when they enter they see the truth..... Just ask Dabota and Caro.
DeleteLmao,mad geh.Sometimes it's not even about the money,especially when ladies feel age is no longer on their side,they just go into the marriage make dem for follow answer'Mrs'.
DeleteAtheist...caro and dabota fell in love with men that don't love them
DeleteFrom the on set I didnt find my partner attractive but because he offered to bring me to Europe. After two kids still I don't find him attractive during love making I just blank my mind and get up after
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.....how do you dem live with yourself...I'm even more confused than the poster
DeleteAt least you gained something from the marriage, use that to console yourself.
DeleteLove will come by all means when there is money to spend and good sex!
When any of this is missing in a marriage not founded on love initially it will be miserable!
Make I siddon read comments
ReplyDeletePoster, it seems you are a Gwegw.
ReplyDeleteWhat hv u been doing while u were young and fresh.
I guess u hv been doing shakara. It is now dat time is no longer on your dat u want to marry whom you are not attracted to. out of desperation and what people will say.
I will be waiting for ur Chronicle in the future
Mr. Dickhead, Why are you this stupid? Your stupidity seems like you inherited it from your ancestors. @ Money maker / James.
DeleteI would have been surprised if you had said anything reasonable.
DeleteMy own question is how do u live peacefully with a cheating husband that even brings them home wen you're away???
ReplyDeleteCheat your own or pretend to if you don't have the liver to. Make sure he knows and he will change with the speed of light. Unless of course the man did not marry you and isn't into you, no man likes sharing his partner
DeleteSilently poison him
DeleteHere are the options: cheat also, leave the marriage, shut up & pray quietly, poison him.
DeletePortable Vivian you're a Witch. Confirmed witch you say poison him silently ba?
DeleteYou see why I call this portable an ediot*?
DeleteLmao @ poison him. Chai!
DeleteYou only regret it for the rest of your life. Because the more you live with the person the more his or her flaws irritate you. If there is money, you tend to love money but not the person. The reality of this life is that love is not even enough . When u marry a poor man that you love as time goes on you guys will start punching yourselves because the things that grow love is not there. People that got married to broke men did so with the hope and faith of the man becoming rich tomorrow. The question u should ask yourself before going into marriage is will I be happy with this person in the next 20yrs? Because as for me in 20yrs time your sex life and love is nolonger important in the marriage but the happiness you share. The companionship and the harmony in the home.
ReplyDeleteSend question, when you fall out of love, I advice you take a break from each other. Go on a separate vacation. Live separately for awhile and while doing that reminisce on the life you both have spent together. Write down the persons negativity and the persons positivity. Weigh their good and bad. Think of why you fell in love with the person in the first place. Whatever you conclude afterwards should be your last decision.
Second question
DeleteCopy and paste .....nwa amaka
DeleteHmmm..I like your comment. Especially the last paragraph
DeleteFor once I agree with u. This is exactly my mind. Love is not enough
DeleteNice one
DeleteNice one ....Love is never enough
DeleteLet the comments roll in....
ReplyDeleteAbeg...una too love....This marriage matter. ..Every post. ..naim I dey see upandaun shuoooo....
ReplyDeleteI'm neither dating nor married to someone I'm not attracted to so I can't answer you from experience..
When you fall out of love with your partner. The best you do is CHECK OUT
ReplyDeleteNot so easy my dear, na supermarket u de checkout?
DeleteIts nt that easy and simple.
DeleteSo a supposed colleague of mine saw me reading supernatural childbirth and started laughing at me. He was laughing so hard like why was i wasting my time.
ReplyDeleteThe former me would have been bitter and sad and go back to my "shell".
The new me just laughed with him and told him God cannot fail and He wont fail me. I feel regenerated and refreshed..joy wells up within me for no just reason.
753 comment 2016
How can I get the book...?
DeletePlease I would love to read it
Did u tell everyone around you your predicament? Those books are books u read at home na
DeleteWhat was is funny about waiting on God for a child and reading books about that?
Delete* confused face *
I understand that you talk about your struggles here, probably because there's no one to talk to. I admire your courage.
He'll eat his laughter soon.
Keep holding unto God.
*hugs*
#WhiteDiamondOut
But sorry to sound this way DS; I don't like the idea of your colleagues knowing that you are having difficulty getting pregnant. I have this friend that has been married for over 5yrs and not yet pregnant. Non of us knows that she is trying because she is busy pursuing careers and bagging certificates. The day she broke down was the day I summoned courage to ask her why she is not yet thinking of making a family with her husband. She told me all the procedures she's gone through and when she brought out the drugs in her hand bag I almost fainted. She told me she prefer not to talk abt it because the devil can use anyone to hinder our breakthrough. You don't even know the agents of darkness in your office monitoring your cycle for you. I rather prefer you keep things just to urself. I understand that we are one big family but don't forget that the heart of men are still desperately wicked. I love u and I know your testimony will come sooner than expected. Some will say I too share family stories but dear, you know nada and if you think I told u then u must be a joker. Pardon me DS, this is not intended to make u feel otherwise .
DeleteAs long as God is still God...9 months to this time you shall carry your baby IJN.
DeleteAnd.... your joy shall be permanent. Keep it up
DeleteSo if world wide Web (www) can knw her colleagues won't???? Abeg eeee
DeleteI join him to laugh.
DeleteCome to the maternity ward and see how labor pain differ in women because of age, body type, sex of baby and level of endurance.
A young Hausa girl gave birth, nobody heard her cry, it was a silent whimper. But a yoruba lady came, people were hearing her screams outside. Did the Hausa girl read supernatural birth?
Instead of Nigerian women to register on time for antenatal, not miss their appointments and don't joke with their medicine, they will be finding short cuts!
I believe in God and prayers because so much goes on in the maternity ward. That it is by his grace. Pray for strength and to see & hear the cry of your baby. Cooperate with the doctors and Nurses.
When this book was being talked about too much, I asked a friend who lives abroad, she said, it was not popular there because nobody believes in such, and anything that does not sell abroad, it will be packaged and promoted in 3rd world countries and knowing how religious Nigerians are, they have found a good market. So I am not surprised about the numerous testimonies that were told; Marketing strategy. If miracles can be arranged, why not fake testimonies? Wish you safe delivery.
Sdk kindly post.
Well keep in mind that it's a thing of disgrace for a northerner to cry during child birth. They keep it in not to bring shame to their husbands and family. Besides you know the average northerner is not as loud and lousy as other tribes.
DeleteAbeg bone!
DeleteHausa pple r known to ve threshold for pains.
I experienced them in my 1st delivery.
My dear, keep reading Supernatural childbirth and beliv.
I have a number of it dt I give to pple TTC or/and pregnant.
I read it for my 1st. Wen my contraction started, I told it along to read wile I labor. Omo no body tel me wen I leave am.
But 1 thing I advice women is mind and watch wat u say when in labor. That is d best time to ask God for anytin. He ansas beta prayers wen in labor. As d months unfold, dts wen u start remembering ooo I sed dis ooo
Thank u j.ice, I wld remember what u said and pray thru out my labour. I don't believe in d book, but I believe in prayers.
DeleteOnce dated someone that I didn't feel anything for but once he started giving me money and buying me gifts the love came from nowhere.
ReplyDeleteWith money love will grow.
Chop kiss. Money answereth all things
DeleteLmao
DeleteI concur,i've been is such situation
DeleteThank you for being real biko
Delete@chi,a married man i presumed?
DeleteI don't know how one copes, being in a relationship where they don't love their significant other, but I've seen a lot of people in such situations, and in my opinion, it's not a very good thing.
ReplyDeleteThe only time you'll find the person interesting, is when you are bored, or in a tight corner.
Some people eventually learn to love the said person, but it's not always. Love is not an emotion that you force.
Some people just learn to live with it in marriage, especially if the said spouse loves them to bits, and does everything to make them happy. But you can't compare it with the feeling you get, when you know that the both of you are crazy about each other.
About falling out of love,usually seen amongst married couples; most times, it's due to a lapse in communication;not excluding financial or other problems.
I think it is easily corrected, when the two parties involved, admit that something is wrong, and are eager to make things right.
At this point, they'll have to go down memory lane, figure out what the attraction was then, and if possible, where it started to go wrong. Try to recreate those beautiful scenes. Take a vacation, if the money is there, and explore each other's mind and body,afresh. Adding new spice to their marriages, by thinking up new fun things to try, especially in bed.
One just has to find what works for them, as everyone is wired differently.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Whoever is behind White Diamond account, just know that you've got a secrete admirer. I love reading from you always.. ♥♥♥
DeleteLol @ whoever is behind.
DeleteWhite Diamond is the one behind it na.
Thanks, Stelch.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Smiles....
DeleteWhitey is what I call Beauty n' Brains
Choi. My sister u re so intelligent. I tap into ur brain in the life on my unborn daughter Amen. #winks. Hahahaha
DeleteNever been in this kind of situation and don't pray to be. Will read comments.
ReplyDeleteIt has been happening 4 eons! Far back as B.C!(in Africa and d rest of d world) Where girls were given out to men by their parents. They had never met d men prior 2 marriage. No biggy, I personally think it's a lot better than all this "love" marriage sef. Cos u both knw what u r in der for weda na money or 2 forge family ties so na to face ur work. No sentiments. If luv happens den fine. Just as not all "love" marriages work, same applies.
ReplyDelete#Gbam
DeleteThank you. All this people screaming love are still the same people cheating on their spouses or being cheated on. Love fire
DeleteGbamest...most so called love relationship and marriages still crash compared to back in the days
DeletePray
ReplyDeleteEnd time question
ReplyDeleteWhy not give an end time reply?
DeleteMarried for money. Wasn't really attreacted to him in the initial time but with time I developed so much deep feelings for him. The first time we had sex, it was just sex, so was the send and third times. But from the fourth time, it became love making. Sex bonds two hearts together. And the money is still there, I love my luxurious life
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear..let them be looking for love upandan
DeleteThank you for being honest
DeleteClose ur eyes n imagine d person/dick to be chris hemsworth.
ReplyDeleteWho Chris Hemsworth don help?
DeleteChris hemsworth na person?? Person wey small Miley de use in head.
DeleteThis BlackBerry how old are you again? All your comments revolve around movies and prick. Why?
DeleteIt's liam hemsworth actually atheist
DeleteDON'T MARRY IF YOU DO NOT LOVE THE PERSON. TALKING ABOUT THE "TRUE CHARACTER OF LOVE". THAT IS THE only thing that will endure in a marriage. all the reasons you listed are ephemeral. Since you are already in it; the question is, have you gotten what you bargained for?
ReplyDeleteStop that! Who still married for love? My people, love is not enough in marriage. To be fore warned is to be fore armed. Love should be the least reason you want to marry a person
DeleteAnon 12:53, I totally agree with you...heart dont keep a marriage, the head does
DeleteCounselling and pray
ReplyDeleteWho prayer don help??
DeleteAnon 13.47. Prayer has helped me a lot. Prayer and Gods giving wisdom.
DeleteSome fall in love wt time,while others dnt
ReplyDeleteMost pple finally opt for divorce wen their expectatns aren't meant r others endure bcx of shame
Lemme read comments..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThank u for this...I pray God answers me soon. I want to testify. God bless you.
DeleteAmen!!!
DeleteAt Poster...are you in such situation or you just feel like doing aproko or gloating?
ReplyDeleteWhen I met my husband I was in love with someone else. The first thing that endeared me to him was his kindness, he has a good heart, friendly, treated and pampered me with respect. He loved the ground on which I walked above all he fought for me I even tried chasing him away by telling him about a problem I had but it did not bother him rather he told me he knew I was his wife. I think what really kept me with him was the way he treated me and above all he had the fear of God in him. But I was not in love with him I liked him and cared about him very much. He continued to show me much love he had everything I wanted the other man I was in love with to have but he did not cos he was the opposite in short he treated me like crazy all he had was good looks big masculine build and tall you know the type you take home and every 1 is giving you a thumbs up. Other than that the guy is bad news on the other hand my hubby was not that so good looking if you see him now I've pimped my thing.I married him at first I was scared almost had regrets because my heart was still with the bad news fellow but gradually I began to fall in love with my husband because for each and every morning he showed me I was right for picking him by treating me right like a queen and I began to thank God for not letting me make a mistake we have being growing iñ love and wealth and all the goid thugs you cañ think of bease he is God choice for me and not mine. I even sent the other fellow a message telling him I found gold and then deleted him off my life. I love my hubby am glad I married him and would not trade him for anything else.
ReplyDeleteDid I type this?
DeleteLol
Dnt think I can marry or even date anyone I am not attracted to,money or even out of pity.
ReplyDeleteRight now I think my boo is even dating me cos I am d one pushing d relationship......God pls give me d zeal or will power to take a decision of letn go.
Love is not by force.
Who attraction help?
ReplyDeleteI am not attracted to my husband anymore. To even kiss him is like war to me, let alone sex. No money and very annoying person. Everyday I just want to run away.
ReplyDeleteThe simple truth is that you're no longer attracted to him cause there's no money
DeleteIt's good to marry for love,but marry for comfort too
Money and love work hand in hand.
Sufferhead
DeleteLolz. Kikiki.
DeleteBiko,i am about to marry for money.
ReplyDeleteMayb love will grow cos for now,i just like d niggar cos he worships for floor I walk on.
Since my yoruba demon dey do like demon,leme follow ds angel dat has been on my case.
Hahaha
DeleteWay to go girl.
I don't know, love should be one of the reason you get married. Cos when the storm comes in God and love is the only hope to hold things together. What do I know?
ReplyDeleteI was in love with my husband before we got married 3 years ago and I went into the marriage with high hopes. He was loving, caring, pampers me and he was cool, right now he is the opposite he changed immediately we got married and this has made the love I have for him to reduce drastically. He shouts at me at any given opportunity. He hardly Communicates with me. He prefers to hang out with friends rather than staying at home after work. I am so frustrated I have talked to him but he keeps doing the same thing. The only thing that brings me joy in this marriage is our lovely daughter. He left the house this Friday and came back on Sunday. He said he was going for batch eve on Friday, and he attended the wedding on Sunday. He slept in Festac and didn't deem it fit to come back home(ketu) until Sunday. He claimed for conviniency sake. I feel so unhappy with his behavior and I don't even know what to do. I can even say I don't have any feelings for him anymore as I am really disappointed
ReplyDeleteChoi. sorryooo. Just dnt forget to make ur self happy as in hang out with ur frnds and groove. Time no dey to be depressed over a man who doesn't feel remorse over his actions. Make ur self happy deariee. Uwa bu ofu mbia. Kpelle
DeleteNdi love. Hahaha...
DeleteSorry dear.
DeleteMadam anon pls drop your email,i live arnd ketu too and also suffer similar predicament in my marriage. I really really need a friend
DeleteGod pls bless me with the Best husband
ReplyDeleteWhat you should ask is? What Will Jesus Do?
ReplyDeleteNow let me help you, Jesus will watch War Room, Redemption and or Fire Proof. After watching come back and give us the testimony.
The grass is never greener at the other side, unless abuse is involved.