What Would you do if someone told you that they wanted to commit suicide?How do you handle it?..Read Charly Boys shocking expose on what he did and didnt do before his Cousin ''Ended it all..''
''It was like any other day.
I was in the studio listening to the sound I tried to put together the previous night. The security personnel came to announce the arrival of my cousin Jimmy (not his real name).
Jimmy was one bubbly guy who was always ready to have a party. Always fun to be with; but on this very day, something was seriously amiss.
There was this faraway look in his eyes, obviously troubled by something. I instructed my studio engineer to excuse us so I could have a one on one with Jimmy. No sooner had he left, Jimmy turned to me and said, "Charly, tonight am ending it all, I can't go on like this, am going to kill myself."
Abegi stop talking nonsense, was all I could utter. I decided to probe further to figure out what was really troubling Jimmy.
He had lost a lot of money in the various business ventures he got involved with, his woman had left him and that really devastated him; but in my head that wasn't enough justification for anybody to want to kill himself!
Of course, I didn't take him serious, I just tried to talk to him sharing my own problems with him in the hope of calming him down.
Three days later, I received the sad news that Jimmy had hung himself from his ceiling fan in his sitting room.
My heart was broken with the news, above all I felt so very guilty for a long long time. Perhaps I should have spent more time listening to him that day, who knows I might have been able to get him to see things differently.
Since then I've learnt to listen a lot more and counsel with a lot more sensitivity.
No one can ever truly phantom what goes on in one's mind that will lead them to activate their own death.
Recently on the Internet, I came across the trending news about a 31 year old Danielle Saul who committed suicide because all her friends were married and she wasn't.
The increasing wave of suicide cases in the country is taking a fearsome proportion and to say the least worryingly disturbing especially when you consider the age bracket.
People commit suicide for various reasons. Stress factors, like how they deal with their relationship issues, or how broken their spirit feels, poverty, even their mental state are the things that trigger suicide for some of us who can't deal with the reality of living. As a result, in an attempt to desperately escape suffering or a troubling situation, they commit suicide.
Suicide is a growing trend in our country but hardly anybody seems to be paying attention, perhaps because of the stigma the society attaches to the challenge, largely associated with mental health.” Suicide didn't just start to happen today but it is often considered a taboo for anyone to broadcast information about it. The implication of this is that it is under-reported and even the police do not get to hear about it because of the stigma attached to it."
We all go through varying degrees of pain, of stress, disappointment, especially with the prevalent economic situation in the country; how on earth do we survive such situations?
Sometimes I wonder how much despair one needs to feel to get to that state of mind.
Therefore before we start to get judgmental, to say that people who go that route are cowards, let's know that we all don't have the same kind of strength or the same inbuilt shock absorber to deal with everyday issues that trouble us.
Let's remember that some of us are dying in silence, depressed, perhaps already contemplating suicide.
Above all, let love lead in the way we interact with other people in their time of despair, let us be more concerned about the wellbeing of the next person. My advice however is that no matter whatever you are going through, there is always a rainbow after the storms.
It will get better just as long as you hold on and believe. I am a living testimony to that. Your life is too precious! Na so I see de matter.
You Nko?''
Anybody that wants to commit suicide. Allow him. the world itself is suicide
ReplyDeleteDis loveme jeje,se u no get human feelins at all ni abi u b gum dey ya brain ni.stop dat ooo,make I no bite u
DeleteMc pinky
You are evil
DeleteVery very mean of you. Would you allow a loved one commit suicide?
DeleteWell, for whoever that wants to commit suicide I will do my possible best to stop d person even if it means relocation EXECPT the person is PORTABLE viv.....I will gladly give her the rope, stand and watch to make sure she pulls it through!!!!
DeleteThe way people bully others here online can make dem commit...I saved a cousin once..entered just in time..she said they bully her too much on instagram n tweeter...even on dis blog...u dnt know hw many inch someone is to suicide..u are too fat, black knuckles, gwegs..dis pple didn't want dis but it happened...so mk de die?
DeleteThese people are down, depressed and lonely. Most times what they really need is for one person to say I love u and really mean it.
DeleteSomeone who could hold them close and feel what they are passing through.
Someone who can really be there for them in every sense of word.
Noone wakes up and decides to commit suicide. He/she must b going thru a dark phase in their life. What they need is to know they are not alone, be really there for them, not just in words but by action, don't just quote scriptures, love them with Jesus kind of love. Feel wot they feel. Take them into ur embrace and let them knw they are truly loved.
LOVE heals. Show love to everyone cos u don't know who u will b saving from committing suicide.
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com.ng
Exactly my sentiments...what's the meaning of "trying" to kill yourself? If you're still trying then you're a coward!!! You can end it without involving anyone. Go to hospitals & see people clinging onto life in the face of terrible accidents & diseases & they're still hopeful & someone is ending his life coz of business & woman? Dude come to this earth in your next life as a stone...nothing go worry you
DeleteI forgot to add that we shld also pray for them, that God may heal their hrts because that's where d tots come from in d first place.
DeletePrayer is an act of love and love can save a life.
Hmmmm. Emotional despondency is very common with those who think along suicide. Heartbreak in itself is a killer. I have seen a few cases so I know what I'm saying. At that moment the jilted will feel they have been rejected, hence have no reason to stay alive anymore.
DeleteIt's a terrible feeling. Financial hardship is the second major reason people attempt suicide. All are factors that cause depression.
There's no special way to convince a person who's suicidal, even giving them the attention may only postpone it to when you leave them alone. Some are resolute, while a few snap out of it with timely intervention by a loved one. Thing is, those who are suicidal are very secretive, they shut everyone out so it's hard to know what's running thru their minds. God's intervention is the only way out of it.
If I hear, who wan die go die.
ReplyDeleteI think that suicide has an evil spirit behind it,just pray it doesn't posess you.
With all the suffering in Nigeria,we should all be dead by suicide nah
Lolz.
DeleteNor worry for suicide you fit sleep you nor go wake up .. Nah good way to die ooh.. Nothing go make me think of suicide I dey mad.. Who I wan leave my boyfriend for 😅😅😅😅
DeleteToo bad "Boyfriend" happens to be your only achievement.
DeleteHian!Quiksilver can't u take a joke??the lady is just trying to lighten up the atmosphere na.i laughed when I read her comment and trust me I was feeling pretty bad before I did.life na jeje
DeleteOK, I've lightened up.
DeleteWeaklings commit suicide
ReplyDeleteNot weaklings.....Suicide is the end result from a prolonged disease infected mind, the disease will render life & ur loved ones valueless, all what u held in high esteem will be reduced to nothing in ur eyes, till it drives u to ur death. Alot of factors can facilitate that " mind disease" ..... It could be the lose of a loved one, lifes frustration, disappointment etc.a
DeleteSo i can never judge a suicide victim or call them selfish, no one knows what they went though.
If someone told me that he wants to commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteMy response to him will be:
Why are you still waiting for?
Them no dey sell ota pia pia or Sniper for your area?
Hahahhaha lmaoo
Delete@james,when will you gather sense?..now,I tink I need not hoodwink myself abt u again....its time I let u know that,some hormones which are responsible for ur brain has under-produces itself that is why u have dyfunctional trait in ur genes.
DeleteImagine ur words#amupagi#
Also check ur grama,abi no be u dey correct stella yesterday ni..anafia
Mc pinky
*What
DeleteInsensitive bigot! Did you read where he wrote we all handle things differently??? Do you even need charley boy to tell you that before you know????????
DeleteI totally agree! We all have different thresholds. That's why most times I refrain 4m commenting on chronicles esp when I feel d person is a GOAT! cos d people that send em in are often times in a really emotional state, and some things we say 2 dem can send dem on a downward spiral.
ReplyDeleteAs per finding out a friend or loved one is suicidal, d best u can do is keep close to them. Make sure dey r never alone,watch em like a hawk, call dem, visit dem, encourage dem, pray 4 em (everyday mind u!) cos any moment dey r isolated they return to those suicidal thots so keep dem occupied and pray GOD he heals their heart.
Nice
DeleteLive is too Short to Commit Suicide; Relax you will still die.
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteLife*
DeleteU get mouth!!! Blows kiss...
Delete*takes a pill of flunitrazepam*
Yes dear.....we all will die someday sooner or later.....why wait for later when you can end it now....the waiting alone is killing me slowly
DeleteIt's worth the wait.. Then you can make more mistakes, make corrections, make money too and teach your experiences.. Your present worry is not the Last...Jamb used to be your problem... Everything shall Pass..
DeleteQueen emerald,i love u pls let it not kill u slowly.i believe in u sweety
DeleteHow can someone even think of committing sucide in this sweet world?....
ReplyDeleteHian!...
Well,if you tell me you want to kill yourself,I will tell you the easiest way to die!...
You don't even need to stress your self by hanging...just a doze of ..............and you are gone!...
Who get time to be petting someone not to commit sucide?...
Oriegwu!...
Abioooooo. Hahahahaha
DeleteSo if your brother comes to you and tells you about his plans of committing suicide, you will tell him the easiest way to die?
DeleteWonderful! 👌👌👌👌
This one is suffering from schizophrenia of the anus. Her imaginary sons should know they don't have a mother in this hag. If one of them is in such situation, this is the best response this dirtbag can offer. Donkeyface!
DeleteOf cos,we would handle it the same way we handled Tony's issue when he wanted to kill himself because phrinkles broke up with him. Suicide is never an option. Things always get better. I'm a pessimist (most of the time) but I never give up,I'm a fighter and I never stay down,that's the way to go. If you're relying on people to make you feel better,na on your own you dey. All man for himself.
ReplyDeleteWhich is? On that very post we saw different reactions, but that Tony's reason was pure stupidity , im sure looking back now he would be so ashamed for the reason that almost made him take his life. Phrinkies i know you are here oh, whats your new ID?
DeleteThis isn't an easy one o.
ReplyDeleteIf someone comes to me with that proclamation, first of all, I'll be flustered and speechless for some minutes.
Then,i'll want to know what exactly brought them to such a conclusion.
But no, I won't chide or condemn them. Would only make things worse.
I'd try to find out even the tiniest thing, worth living for, in the person's life. Most times, there's nothing.
But I'll start with deep words of encouragement, and depending, I'll use other famous people's stories as inspiration.
Then, lastly, I'll take the spiritual route. This is because, a person on the verge of committing suicide, doesn't care about what God thinks, and His commandments, so the last thing they want to hear, is about how God hates suicide.
But, they've got to be reminded that God loves them. That sometimes, horrible things happen to good people, but that doesn't mean that He has forgotten them. That no matter how long they've been patient, a thousand years is like one day to Him.
Remind them that they have loved ones (if they do) , who would be devastated by their deaths, and how they'd feel if the tables were turned. And if they don't, I'll let them know that I do. You can't do that to me, maynne. I won't forgive you, I'll say.
I'll hold the person for hours, while saying all these, and pray that the tears flow from their eyes.
Then, the most important part, I'll keep in touch which this person. When I mean in touch, I mean, I would have my sights on them any chance I get, and try to find fun and interesting things to do with them.
Then, ultimately, I'll pray for them. Everyday. If they agree, I'll pray with them to.
Sad thing is, most times, none of these, are enough.
But one has got to try their damndest, especially if it's someone close to them.
I can't ever give in to a suicidal person, without a fight o. The guilt won't be funny.
Interestingly enough, I've had this kinda experience before, and though the person still died, it wasn't by their own hands,thank God.
This world though. Not a fair place.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Cool
Delete😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙
DeleteSuicide is for cowards.
ReplyDeleteSuicide is often as a result of psychological issues. Take for instance someone suffering from clinical depression (I'm not talking about when someone is feeling bad and the person concludes they are depressed) no, clinical depression is as a result of chemical imbalance in the brain that no matter how hard you try to cheer yourself up, there is this overwhelming feeling you get that keeps on telling you that you just have to end it. I have experienced it before and anyone who knows me knows that I love life pass anything. When I had the issue, thoughts of suicide kept in creeping in and I always rebuked it and counteracted it with prayer. It's not easy I must say and I didn't have anyone to talk to because no one would understand.
ReplyDeleteWe Nigerians do not care to know anything about the different psychological issues that goes on in the head and once there's is a chemical imbalance we either attribute it to spiritual attack or madness or both.
Please readers, people do not kill themselves because they are really tired of living, sometimes, it is a s a result of a small glitch in the brain which can be fixed with a few tablets. Too bad we don't have institutions in place to help people. Once person enter psychiatric hospital, no to tie you up begin dey flog u remain
Hmmmm.
DeleteYou have a point..
DeleteSee, there is no chemical imbalance anywhere to warrant suicide. Feelings and thoughts don't arise from the brain, they arise from the mind. If you understand the human Spiritual anatomy, you'd realize the shit the western man is selling about depression is celebrated ignorance. They might be good with technological advancement and all that, but when it comes to knowing about the human Spirit, Soul and Mind - face India or Tibet. There is no chemical imbalance that the brain cannot auto-correct in due time, but there are Spiritual/energetic mismatch and strongholds that it cannot fix, only YOU (the Spirit) can fix them yourself. If you continue popping useless pills hoping they'd fix you, lies. They are only temporary fixes that causes longterm damage on the long run. 90% of clinical depression is demonic and you have to engage in the practices involved to cast them out and repossess the vital parts of your energetic body they are living in and feeding from. I have been through depression, tried conventional treatments and all sort so I know what I'm talking about. I had to change many things about me before I got free. Its not easy but it can be done. For people going through depression right now, do not loose hope. Make up your mind that you will be free and in due time, with the right efforts - thou shall be loosed!
DeleteAnonymous 13:52. U are so so right.
DeleteOh well!
ReplyDeleteOn their own.
ReplyDeleteGood piece from the Area father himself.
ReplyDeleteSuicide is a thing of the mind, just like he said, we all hv different degrees of shock absorber, our tolerant strength varies too.
Most times what we say to people matters alot n how we address issues too. We are so quick in condemning n judging people. Just like calling someone derogatory names. you don't know the challenges this person is going through, nor how far they have gone in tackling those things n how helpless they feel.
There was a time I was struggling with my hairline, it was already killin n discouraging, my younger brother just threw some jabs at me, I felt like killing myself, straight I headed to the barber's shop.
That thought me alot of lessons about life n human nature.
Just like Linda Eze, love me jeje n co 'll use insulting words on people who are fat n ugly. That in itself is killing.
Pls let our words be seasoned with grace so it can benefit the hearers.
Hmmmm
DeleteI'm of the opinion that suicide is a cowardly way out.
ReplyDeleteBut then, I'd never castigate anyone that intends to commit suicide..rather I'll talk you out of it.
Think about this, you want to commit suicide cos you are tired of all the sufferings,blah blah blah..
Some will say "let me die and go and rest"
How sure are you that when you take your life, what awaits you on the other side won't be worse than what you were going through on earth?
Who told you you'd be resting when you die by committing suicide?
What if you have to live with a big black bad creature till eternity?
If you are reading this and you have ever thought about taking your life, don't! Once there is life, there's hope.no hope in the grave.once you kill yourself, you are done for!
There is something dark about suicide! Don't do it!
Put your trust in God! He never fails his own.
Cool
DeleteSexiest mother,stop trolling this post. Are you trying to justify something bad you did?
ReplyDeleteHahahhaha. Lolz kikikiki.
DeleteSinging. Am feeling my self, am feeling my self...
Oya stopeet!
DeleteA friend of a friend did try to commit suicide via drowning but he was found on time and was saved.. i sat down and questioned him and found it was due to abandonment.. mother been late since when he was a kid.. father abandoned them and re married.. aunties and uncle.. no break light.. to top it all his girlfriend left... it was crazy.. imagine a son asking his father to loan him money to take of himself(the son)...pending the time he gets his first pay.. it was crazy.. i encouraged him and told him to hold God tight.. i feel suicide is due to neglection
ReplyDeleteThat's what am always thinking about... I just wish I was not born
ReplyDeleteA friend of a friend did try to commit suicide via drowning but he was found on time and was saved.. i sat down and questioned him and found it was due to abandonment.. mother been late since when he was a kid.. father abandoned them and re married.. aunties and uncle.. no break light.. to top it all his girlfriend left... it was crazy.. imagine a son asking his father to loan him money to take of himself(the son)...pending the time he gets his first pay.. it was crazy.. i encouraged him and told him to hold God tight.. i feel suicide is due to neglection
ReplyDeleteThis is one area our clergies should invest on. Meeting those 'they perceived poor' after service and/or visiting them will help. Not by recognising only the rich.
ReplyDeleteAlso having a welfare/empowerment dept in churches can as well help too.
Sometimes the level of ignorance I find here amazes me. Don't u guys read don't u desire exposure. Suicide is real it's caused by chronic depression not spiritual attack (you local girl Amanda favour) ppl struggle with it for varying reasons. Nd I can tell u it's not a walk in the park. We as nigerians shld really learn to b more attentive to our loved ones ppl suffer in silence bcos there's no awareness on suicide nd our institutions r handicapped in that area. But I cn tell u it's a real problem as real as malaria. We r so third world that wateva we don't understand we attribute it to spirituality that's y ur pastors will keep chopping ur money. Read Learn Travel Grow stop being an insensitive ignoramus @ la Bella James queen nd boss nd blackberry.
ReplyDeleteMy God
Razorsharp
Story for the gods
DeleteCome oh nwayi r u queen nd boss housegirl or do u just enjoy lickin her ass for free. Useless woman sexy my ass
DeleteAnonymous 18.24
DeleteSinging am feeling my self am feeling my self.
Hahahaa
My brother once attempted suicide, I was devasted, Stella posted it on here two years ago. It was the most trying time of our lives as he battled for his life on that hospital bed(thank God we found him on time). We did everything to get him to see that life has a better side and it always flips.
ReplyDeleteTo the glory of God, he came out of it, with constant counselling, prayers and love shown to him, he is doing so much better today, Married to a beautiful woman last year and happily building his business from the scratch with a postive attitude and so much to live for. He said sostart when he can afford it, he will start a suicide counselling NGO cos the only language a suicidal victim understands is "I was once in your shoes"
He is a testimony.
I have read people curse out suicide victims... YES VICTIMS! Thats what they are and we cannot sit on our nice assess and judge them till we have walked in their shoes, felt their fear, emptiness, lack of efficiency and depression.
Suicidal thought can be over whelming and only love, assurance, prayers and counselling helps.
#nextbestthing
Wow! Thank God for ur brother
Delete@love me jeje you are a big fool for such comment i pray you dont find your self in a bad situation. goat.
ReplyDeleteDepression and other mental health issues need to be included in both the primary & secondary school Health Science/Biology curriculum. We ought to have serious, sensitive conversations about these issues instead of finger-pointing and mocking.
ReplyDeletePS: The word is "FATHOM" not "phantom".
If some one walks up to me and tells me that He or she is suicidal, i will use my self as a case study and prevent the person from committing it. I will tell the person that even till now, i am suicidal, but will never do it bcos of my secret weapons against it, and they are.;
ReplyDeleteI found solace in prayer
I revived my spiritual life and spend more person time with my maker
I always thought about the hottest part of hell that will burn me, if i committed suicide.
I always thought about my late mom and how she will feel where ever she is
I always thought about how far i have come, and all the challenges ahead of me.
I always visualised the glorious future that is in wait of me.
Suicide is an evil spirit, i am battling with it, almost at my victory, i will never have up. Stella, some day, by God's grace, i will send in my story under the chronicles of hope. I have been through alot for a 23 years old girl, some times, i wondered where the strength to hold on, is coming from. But i believe, that that my victory is closer now than before
E hugs hon... You will conquer by His grace... Keep holding on. Kisses
DeleteHold on hun. God's grace and mercy are new every morning
DeleteTo end your life to me is not cowardice
ReplyDeleteIt is bravery.
I have been depressed several times, but I don't and won't commit suicide..:
Why suffer here on earth and still end suffering eternally by commuting suicide.
If someone comes to me that they have suicidal thoughts , I'll pay a listening ear and refer to see a psychologist , will follow through with the process.
This sucide issue is gradually taking a position in Nigeria. I remember 7 years ago when I was in 3rd year in UNN,I got a call from my only sister telling me she wants to commit sucide cos she had an extra year, her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her and there was no hope for her. I didn't take that call lightly, I called her severally reassuring her of God's promises and how she is a star. She was admitted in the hospital and I got the doctor' number, I would call him every day to find out she was doing. I was in school but it seemed I was close by. At the end she got better and was discharged, it only cost me recharge cards.
ReplyDeleteToday, she is a wealthy woman married with kids and running her own business. I am so happy God gave me that initiative to call and show love, if I didn't do all I did, I might not have her here now to share all the goodies with.
Bravo
DeleteIt's always easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteBe strong,Be courageous.
True not all people are built with such shock absorbers.
So,suicide seems like the best option at that time.
May God help us all.