Na wah!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
Malicious Spouse
Hi Stella,
I am an ardent fan of your blog. I hope I would be able to get some constructive advice for my situation.
I am married with children, but the major issue in my marriage stems from the fact that my husband is very malicious. He is always easily provoked and his anger is out of this world. I simply find it sooo immature.
When he is angry he can keep malice for a whole week, even when I try to plead with him so we can make up, it doesn't even help.
I would usually have to get someone else involved to douse the situation. I am often drained by this. I have tried everything from simply ignoring him to seeking counselling in church, but there is always an episode of his anger issues every now and then.
Please Stella and BV's how do you think I should handle this.? Is there anyone facing a similar issue that can offer advice. Ignoring him wouldn't help.
Thanks
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
THE LIES,THE PROPOSAL,THE PREGNANCY AND THE BOO
WHO CHANGED HIS MIND.
Good day Stella,
Thanks for the opportunity given to people to air their minds. I will go straight to my story.
Have known Mr Z right from my primary school days although we were just hi hi friends, in January this year he asked me out because i never believed him i told him i was SS and he said he doesn't mind because he is AA and we should keep it to ourselves. So the r/ship started.
Later I was introduced to his family and I was accepted by all we started planning marriage for June . He saw my pastor and was accepted. plans kicked off,Along the line I got pregnant he was happy, he called his parents and my mum told them about the pregnancy and planned on bringing the wedding forward.
I started feeling pains in my lower abdomen so i was advised by a colleague to go do a scan on getting to the hospital the doctor said he didn't see anything in my womb and that i am not pregnant, I wasn't satisfied so i went to my family doctor he did the scan again and said he could see a foetus developing but it isn't very clear so he gave me another date to come back. ...because of all these we thought it was an ectopic pregnancy.
Going back to see the doctor on my appointment date he did another scan and the baby was there in the right place so I was happy, i called to inform him but he didn't sound happy to me. So i went to see him and explained to him only for him to say my doctor doesn't know what he's doing n he wants my case file from him. I told him the doctor can't give him then he started insisting that the pregnancy is ectopic. Hmmmm wahala, so I said okay let's go to your own hospital so your doctor can check and confirm to you he accepted and disappeared. I called him the next day only for him to say he's no longer interested in the marriage and I should go for an operation to remove the pregnancy.
He said That am SS, so i said that's not a problem come so we can go to your hospital for a genotype test test and a pregnancy test he said he not interested that even if we go there am going to perform magic and if am not even SS he's not interested in the marriage anymore.
So i started thinking what if i was really an SS, is this how he would put me in the family way and disappear?
Right now am stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. Please where do i go from here? Is aborting the baby the right thing? Cos right now he has refused to see me nor come for the test and has said even if am not SS he's not interested. Please Stella and fellow bvs advice me.
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
WHEN MARRIAGE REDUCES YOUR SELF WORTH.
Stella,feel like I have failed myself for getting married.....well at least getting married at 25yrs
Everything I have worked for all my life down the drain becos I am married to a man who is rather obsessed about me .
He has made my life miserable in all ways. Not to mention that he is so religious or rather letting his imagination get the best of him with his instincts that act as the voice of God showing him all manner of terrible things about my past(60%) are fact will the rest( 40%) are pure fictions.
And he gets help from his so called men of God. Who sees the future on his behalf. And mind you, they only see negativity.
How did I end up with a man who is going to haunt me for the rest of my life becos of my past??? How can I live with myself??? After all that I have been through in life.
I worked very hard to get to the level I am right now , from washing toilets for people ,eating leftovers in the streets to being raped constantly , surviving this cold lonely world on my own and finally being able to raise above all that I have been through in life to become something in my society...
having my own voice and getting a sound education ......
financial independence and the list goes on........
Only for me to be reduced to nothing but a title (Mrs) with a man who would constantly accuse me of cheating on him (heaven knows that I was off sex close to 9months) while we were dating, I didn't even sleep with him until we were married.
But the down side of all this was that I was honest to him about my past, as I wanted a clean start in life and wouldn't want to keep secrets from him. Of which he acted like he did understand at the beginning , then we got married and everything changed.
I am a suspect , he monitors my every move, stopped me from keeping friends made me changed my numbers twice, etc . And yet he is not satisfied.
I wish , I never got married to him. I made the biggest mistake of my life and I cant live with myself.
How can I live with myself ???? I have failed myself.....
I have no issue with divorce ....seeing how my mum is living a miserable sad life with my dad for over 30yrs. I dont want to end up like her ( that's my worst fear)But Stella, I love my husband with all my heart.
Please how do I make my marriage work?? I don't want to give in to my thoughts and Pack up from the marriage this early. Please what do I do?
Just negodu
ReplyDeletePoster1 you have not ignored him enough,next time find something to distract you and don't give in.
DeleteWeekend chronicles
Delete@posster2: please move on and don't abort the pregnancy.
Poster 1 next time just ignore him too let him be the one to reconcile. Poster 2 just bone ur boo n ve u baby, still think about what you did or his reason for his rejection just to get closure but if u don't find out anything, my dear ve ur baby. To me nothing beats having a child oh! Poster 3 your case his crucial, I used to ve a friend who based her life on prophesy, to an extent dat she did a secret wedding cos of the prophesy, went into hidding. She went off social media, changed her no. 3 years down d line she's divorced and now a single mother. Living ones life based on prophesy is the worst way to live a life oh! My dear just pray ur hubby gets an encounter then he would understand the effect of all these.
DeletePoster 1,perhaps you are always focused on him.give him space to keep to himself.greet and cook for him.when he notice that you are becoming stronger emotional, my dear He will stop the childish attitude.
DeletePoster one sorry oo, am.sure you saw this signs be you married him. Please give him time whenever he is that mad.
DeletePoster 2. This your story sef, are you saying you lied to the guy that you are SS or what? To what gain? Why would you do that, oh well! I guess the guy must have given it a big thought, or may you gave him too much cookie, please leave that child, I know you are embarrassed but that child deserves to live.
Poster 3
What was your chronicle again. You made a mistake? Next time keep your past to yourself. I think you should have a talk with him to let him know how you feel about his judgemental attitude...smh, how I hate guys like that. Take heart nnu
P1 carry ur cross gallantly. Abi as u too no wan malice and ur DH want. Jst try and avoid issues dat bring wahala
DeleteP2 dnt abort ur baby. Did u lie abt ur genotype? D guy jst chicken out after eating d apple frm d centre of d garden.
P3 carry ur cross bravely,becos there is no ow u can change a psyco. Man. D man has issues with himself and will only destroy ur mental well-being too. Trust me they nvr get better but drive u nuts as well. I wld av said leave,but I believe luv conquer all,as u luv him,pls be patient and endure his nonsense
From the titles, I can tell you all never really got to know your husbands before getting married to them.
DeletePoster 2 - The mistake you made is the same mistake quite a number of women make. Thinking because you've known him for long, you know him. You have to actually "live" with a person for at least four years to truly know them. That said, please do not abort the pregnancy as what will you do if you lose your womb in the course of doing so? The man in question would most definitely get married later and live life to the fullest... Be wise, don't force him to marry you, that's one of the major causes of violence women face in marriages. Believe me, you would be better of alone than married to that child you once though of as fiancé.
Poster 3 - I'm sorry things turned out this way for you but after going through the list of things you've been through in life, I honestly do not think there's anyone alive who can batter handle the situation you are in than you can. It's obvious you are a survivor and you can more than do better for yourself on your own. Yes you love him but there's no point being in a relationship where your integrity, dignity and respect as a woman is constantly questioned. If he loves you he would be back and this time learn to trust you.
Poster 1 - it seem to me like he asked you to marry him the minute he set his eyes on you and you said yes the next minute and you guys married the day after. Anyway, if you go through all these to settle disputes between you two, then I would say calling you a queen is an understatement. I wish my girlfriend has this side of you. I would tell you one thing I know for sure, no man likes to be ignored. But getting an advise from a professional is the only thing I think can help in your case.
Seriouly, the way prophets and so called men of God keep breaking homes, marriages, and relationships. It's too much! We are Christians, why cant we go on our knees and talk to God. If you are a Christian and you read your bible then you will know that prophecies can change. These days people keep checking other people's destiny. Do you know how many people they have told they will not live long and yet they lived to 70? Them plenty.. Do you know how many people they have told this is your spouse and yet the marriage went down hill. Then plenty too. Please and please let's learn to talk to God directly and stop carrying people's name up and down. Lol. This is a serious concern!! Sorry, I just had to rant. E dey pain me no be small.
DeleteMy Bf of a year and some months is like Poster 1 DH. He keeps malice with me for two wks minimum and I have to get a 3rd party to call him and beg him to take my call. I'm so fed up, hes a good guy and likes to take care of me even though hes not financially strong. Thats y I keep begging him each time he stops talking to me. On the last occassion of malice I got closer to a guy whom I consider a mentor, he's financially stable and I enjoy his company but hes as busy as a bee. He practically has no life aside work. Two great guys with their individual flaws. I jst think its better to let go of the two. But is there any perfect man out there? This year na 25yrs for me.. hmm only you can do it dear lord. So so gi.
DeletePoster 1, is so me and hubby. I use to be very worried when he starts doing that. The annoying thing is that he keeps malice over little stuff like, if i didn't pick his calls. Keep malice with me even when i was 6 months pregnant, only spoke with me when he feels is necessary. I used to worry but now I have kids that need my attention more than he does. So when he starts he is good at i will be so happy cos i have learned to ignore him and be really very happy. Dancing and singing which makes him confuse. After which he will start looking for a way to reconcile. Malice the only problem he has otherwise, he is a nice guy.
DeleteMy sister gather heart. Okay?
And please stop getting a third party to settle for you. He is reducing your self worth
DeletePoster 1: are u saying u didn't notice this behavior while u were dating? Or he suddenly picked up the habit?
ReplyDeleteMarriage sef dey fear me dis days,and I don't want to be gwehz.Wetin I go do now ehn because me I love prick o...
DeleteLemme take refuge under ur comment. Poster 1: give him eye for eyes, teeth or tooth,give him double malice that wen he thought of how the last one lasted he will sit up, hope gives u money for during this periods?
DeletePoster 2 if age nd money aren't ur problem u can keep the pregnancy.
Poster 3:have a heart to heart wth hubby.
Please I am in the same shoes as poster 1. I also would read advice. In my case dated my hubby for about a year never even heard him shout only saw him angry once in that 1yr.
DeleteIf u think 1 wk is bad, try 2 months. Dont worry, ull go soon adApt
DeletePoster 2 pls go and meet his parents and explain what's happening to them, a good in-law won't want their grandchild to be killed
DeletePoster 1 and 2 you should both buy the movie "WAR ROOM"....u will find the answer there
DeletePoster 1, 2 and 3 pray. The way the woman in War Room did, do just that. Give your men 2 weeks and see if there won't be great changes.
DeletePoster 1 well you're married to a man whoseeking anger only subsideshows after he has had alone time.
ReplyDeleteSadly that's how some people are. They need time to cool off on their own rather than be forced cool off from an apology. Try to also stay away from him when he is like that, at least he doesn't get violent.
Poster 2 he said he isn't interested. The decision to have the baby lies with you.
Just wondering why someone would jump from 100 to 0 real quick without any quarrel between you too.
Reason you shouldn't get pregnant for a man without a proper wedding.
See finish syndrome. He wanted to marry you because you took in, he probably had a rethink and felt you weren't what he wanted.
Let it go. I'd advise you abort but like I said it's your choice.
Poster 3 ladies some telling men everything about you. Sincerely they don't want to know. Men hurt more than women when it comes to body count. A woman wouldn't lose sleep over how many women her been with before her but trust me it gets to men. They want to feel like your body belonged to them right from when you were born. Stop sharing it it doesn't make you a better person when you do.
It does no good for them. Stop it already.
My hubby doesnt even want to know my past.. no matter how i push.. y ? He knows he is jelous and wont want to hear all that. Good or bad , he is not intrested
Delete3 chronicles?who get brain to crack dis hot afternoon? I Can't deal mennn. I will b bck to read comments!
ReplyDeleteLolz
DeleteEnd time chronicles
ReplyDeletePoster one, sorry o! If I were u, I wuda directed anger at my parents for getting married n producing SS. Anyway since d guy don't want again, what u gon do?
ReplyDeleteShes not SS she only said so to see if the guy would stay at the initial stage of the relationship
DeleteI don't even understand that part of being ss. Cus when I went further I understood it as a prank..
DeleteShe ain't SS
DeleteShe's not SS
DeleteShe only said that to discourage him in the beginning.
lol .poster 2 - I know no wetin to talk oh,
She isn't SS @Nokiatorch
DeleteYou seem confused as the poster, lol
DeleteYes. Sometimes I resent my parents so much. I blame them each time I have a crises. It's a hard life. Even as I'm typing this, I'm filled with anger n hate towards them.
DeleteShe will give birth.
DeleteHahahahaha ideato @nokiatorch! Ok I'm as confused as an earthworm.
DeleteAnon 18:18, u don't have to hate ur parent be happy when u are out off crisis I know how u feel cos am one, happiness sometimes relieves u of crisis pain be surrounded by people who love and make u laugh cheers dear.
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteVery good. You just started dating in January and you are already nacking raw? Good for you.
Poster 3
Only Jesus Should you confess your past to; But you ladies never hear.
Divorce him for your own sanity. Love is never enough.
Poster 3: u made me weak when u said u love ur husband with all ur heart. Poor thing, I wish I could hug u.
ReplyDeletePoster one u didn't date him to know he's malicious?
ReplyDeleteOverlookeet d way u've been doing before naa, or u wanna pack? Lol
Poster where u desperate?
DeleteAfter rushing in, u regret.
Problems of a gwegs
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteStart ignoring your husband mehn...
Can't you keep malice with him for two months?....try it with him let's see who go get tired!...
Hian!...
Poster 2,
Keep the baby if you are financially okay...abort if you are not!...
Don't bring an innocent baby to this world to suffer!...
Or
If you desperately want this dude to marry you,knack correct pigeon for his head and watch him do the needful!...
Poster 3,
You are a fool!...
I keep advising you people here to stop telling your husbands or boyfriends dirty secrets about your past lives...
But it seems some of you here won't learn!...
What do you want us to tell you?...abeg carry your cross alone!...
Mtcheeeeww....
Nutcase!!
DeleteBabe u be craze woman oh!Lol
DeleteI concur on ur advice for poster 3.... Never tell a man all about ur past
DeleteThey hurt more than women
And don't forgive in a short time
Poster three, u r sounding like u were forced to marry this man. I don't understand sef.
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteThe only solution to malicious partners is to treat them the same way they treat you... that is if you have tried everything possible to change them. If he can malice you for one week, extend your own to one month.
Poster 2
Let him be and go on your knees! You should be talking to God right now and not SDK.
Poster 1, my hubby is like dat, can keep malice. And angry for d most little things. Know what i did. I told him am tired, and am no more interested in d marriage. Its better am single dan be living in malice house. See begging. He has changed o
DeleteIs he the one on your dp?
DeleteNice one jumia
Deleteposter either that or ignore him completely, give him a dose of his own medicine.
Hubby tried it with me then,i showed him he was a learner in the game of malice, nobody tell am, he give himself brain.
When I keep malice I won't eat, take money from him, or even greet him, when am spoken to, i won't respond.
Showed him a whole new level of malice, guy man give himself sense. when we have issues now, we talk about it,and have mind blowing make up sex.
poster 3: some lies are necessary, or you keep your mouth shut.
poster 2: nndo, how will you lie with something as serious as your blood group? And you waited this long before telling him the truth? When you noticed you guys were getting serious, you should have opened up then. OK you felt all is well ba? Eeya
Hmm jumia is that the husband on ur dp? Shouldn't u have gone anon ?
DeleteD one up there? He looks it. Kpele sister
DeletePoster 2 lied and ended up in trouble,poster 3 was truthful and ended up in trouble. Nawa oh!
ReplyDeleteHehehe....its d crazy world we live in dear.
DeleteChronicles today are scary...
ReplyDelete@ poster 2 please don't abort ur baby give the child a chance it might be d best thing to ever come into ur life
@poster 2,keep it!
ReplyDeletePoster1:
ReplyDeleteGoogle or read books on how to handle anger crisis with spouse/marriage. You will get a forum where other women discussed how they got solution.
Thank me later
Poster one you are married to a child in a grown man's body. Truth is he won't change,learn to adjust/ live wit it.
ReplyDeletePoster two,i dont understand you.....are you OR are you not SS? I'm a fargin....i know nothing about pregnancy/evacuation. One question tho.....what if it was hiv and not preg' hope you wld have bn thinking of aborting your life.
Poster 3....you are still here asking questions? Okayooo go and watch WAR ROOM/go down on your knees and cry to God in some ppls voice. You better divorce that man asap for your own sanity,else the cycle continues(you and your mom).
Ladies if you have a not so nice past,keep it to yourself.these niggas arnt loyal.
SHantelle
Poster 3 better pack out of that choaky marriage cos in the next 30 years, u will bote ur finger in regret except u want to keep managing. I don't envy u at all cos i ve been through something similar. Monitoring spirit is very bad as a spouse.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pls keep the baby whether witb marriage or not. Thank God u know the father of your child. U can only remove a pregnancy when ur not sure of the paternity. My philosophy tho. So keep the baby and find a way to deal with the fact that he may not come around so u won't drown while waiting for him to change his mind.
Poster 1. I'm not married so I don't know what to tell u. Pele
Bvs in abuja. Holla me for ashawo service (home delivery) this weekend. It's a crime to be home alone, horny, wanky, and masturbating. I do bi, trans, trisome, anal, dildo and les. so hit me up for your served hot xxx. Will come with my mates depending on the category u fall.
Xoxo
You need to try Jesus
DeleteBvs don't sleep with this mess. Ashawo at large.
DeleteThis Mbaise girl is just an attention seeker!...
DeleteOnye asi mmuo!...u said the other day that you are married!...well,this your strategy has worked cos I have noticed your comments...
Kai!!! Pele ooo!
DeleteJesu!!!!!! What is this?
DeleteHmmm...are u for real? Smh, na wa
DeleteLmao
DeleteAwusubilai !
DeletePoster one:
ReplyDeleteIt seems your husband is under the influence of Ares, the god of war.
Which kin yamayama malice keeping is that one, that usually needs to be resolved by a third party?
It's not an ordinary thing o.
Are you sure you wouldn't want to find somewhere to rest for a week or so, and know if his brain will reset?
Poster two:
Na wah o!
Shuooo!
Is there a part you left off, because I can't understand the sudden change and rejection from him.
There's something you're not telling us.
Or could it be that he's nervous about being a father and husband?
But why didn't you tell him your genotype, when the both of you finally had something serious going on?
Please, carry your baby to term, and if he doesn't come around, love him/her, the best way you can.
Poster three:
Hmmmm!
Peace of mind and happiness, should not be traded for anything. Not even money.
Is he a fortune teller?
Well, most of your problems, stem from the fact, that you laid your past bare before him.
He obviously doesn't trust you.
Tried waking him up early in the morning to talk?
Doesn't he listen to you ever?
Maybe send him this link?
#WhiteDiamondOut
Women are going through a whole lot all in the name of marriage...
ReplyDeleteOver to the married folks biko
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
Go and get laid
DeleteSeriously when I read what women are passing through all in the name of marriage, I wonder is it the same men that act saintly and friendly in public that turn to monsters indoors? Life is hard already why should one have to endure marriage too.
DeleteKpele awon kronicles
ReplyDeleteBtw,poster 2,if your answer to my Q is no,then do not abort your baby.
ReplyDeleteSHantelle
Waoh
ReplyDeletePoster 2, it cost nothing to be fair from the onset of a relationship. If he will stay he will.
ReplyDeleteI dont usually believe in that village hunt stuff but this seems like one or your guy is suffering from pre-marital pressure syndrome, Dr. SID almost called off his wedding 2days to the date because of quarrel. I had a fight with DH a month before our wedding that we both wanted out but his parents waved in.
Talk to him and find out his reasons. If that dont go well, meet his parents and share your ordeal with them. Something doesnt just seem right.
All the best. After the raggae the blues will play
Poster 2,from your post your husband to be started withdrawing after the miscarriage scare. Maybe his people are thinking too deep into the matter.
DeleteMarriage wahala everyday. God will heal you guys.
ReplyDelete#pleaze let me digress a bit. I dropped my pin here for young, single and serious minded lady to reach out to me.
Please I made myself cleared enough and I didn't see where I stated to meet married women.
Married women, please stay off my case. I don't want anything to do with another man's wife.
Haba mana. They want to leave their husbd na.married ashawos everywhere preaching how marriage is sweet.
DeleteHay shugar, hope u enjoyed me the last time.
Taa!...
DeleteNo married woman added you!...
Liar!...
You dey mad. I guess na you add me. Running your mouth like a faucet.
DeletePoster 3, it's good you pack and go while it's still young before it will get to a point where u will stuck
ReplyDeleteP2
ReplyDeleteU started dating early this yr and u are planning marriage for june? You are already preg? Smp
You were desperate and he saw through you and now you are the one left alone. If u wanna have sex wear a rubber and he shoulf be a prof of pullout and even if...it shouldnt be based on cos u guys are getting married soon...place urself on a pill biko.
P3
You love him? Love is a conscious decision and whats the benefit of love of it drains you? Pls divorce and move on...and always be open with ur past. You might not give every damn detail but let your pattner share in ur past and help with ypur future. Thats what love is not what you have right now
Tuscany, your posts are usually clear, but you didn't edit this time, so it's a bit hard to understand.
DeleteAnon edit?
DeleteTrying to totally eraidcate short forms actually.
Noted
Poster 3 wait till ure already dead dat time u won't have to pack ur things people will do it for u even ur useless horseband, ur first two paragraphs sef are annoying na buy for to speak grammar and I nor con see big word for wetin she write sef, leave the situation ure now! U can pack in back wen u think he is normal again, u wey don witness orisirisi still dey stay with this kain man hian.
ReplyDeleteSo na grammar you speak so? It's well with you my sister.
DeleteAll chronicles centered on women and marriage, going by this as a single, i wonder if marriage is enjoyable.every day women come to complain about their homes.
ReplyDeleteMy sister, I tire oo, 25 and single, every suitor is a suspect.
DeleteTrust me, marriage is sweet and the spouse selection process should be thorough.
DeletePoster 3, what are the things you do that get him suspicious? Lots could be involve including your attitude? Sit him down and let him know how you feel and what you intend to do should this continue.
ReplyDeleteIf he is honest, he will express his fears and concerns.
Poster 2 am short of words to think the idiot was all lovey dovey at first choi women are really suffering, keep the preggy the fool will come back, I hope u don't accept sha. Oloriburuku sombori
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeletePoster 1 u said ignoring him won't work eeyah am not married, oya over to the married ones
ReplyDeleteHow many comments will U make? Tatafo!
DeleteI'm watching you.. You are so beautiful. The anonymous admirer
DeleteAll ladies having marital issues, please watch war room. God help you all.
ReplyDeleteWhich kin yeye war room, that is hw pple lyk you will do mumu nd be watching war room nd their useless husband's will now dash una Aids or bring pikin come una house.
DeleteWar room indeed, women alwz at the receiving end, a man cheats pray for him,dress Sexxy, do lyk snake,fish bla bla, while if a woman even say hi to a man,he doesn't lyk, na wahala nd they will stil say watch war room.
DeleteWar room indeed for a cheating dog
Lol @replies
DeleteP1 abeg bone ur hubby back na, man wey go dey keep malice like women mtsheeeew
ReplyDeleteP2 go on your knees and talk to God, that guy is evil, see as he dey change like weather
P3 why do women always make the mistake of talking bout the past sef hian.
POSTER 2:
ReplyDeleteyOURS is the foolish story here. Stop whining that he put you in the family way and disappeared. When you opened your vagina before marriage what were you expecting; were you obeying God's laws? In spite of all the things you read on this blog, you still could not wait for the marriage before opening your vagina? He simply scored a goal and ran to his side of the field; have you ever seen a striker that scores a goal and stays on the opponent's side of the field? Now who is saddled with pregnancy, who is dumped; who is depressed, who has sleepless nights, whose self worth is thrashed; who becomes single mother; who is thinking about an abortion; who will die in the process of the abortion?
Well killing the baby is the gravest mistake you can make; because if you die in the process of it, you can't stand before God. Well all the girls that have aborted can come even under anonymous to attack this truth.
Poster 2:
ReplyDeleteThere is something ABOUT ABORTIONS which I'd like us to see. When one kills (or encourages the killing of; see Prov. 6:16-17) innocent children, the consequences are three. 1. You deny yourself the joy of having a home (remember the Hebrew midwives who spared babies against Pharaoh's advice to kill them; God rewarded them with families; Ex.1) 2. You risk "sudden death" in the hands of another fellow/accidents etc. remember Gen.9:6 and thirdly, you deny yourself eternal life! What a life! God isn't going to call you to glory if you do not repent. Jesus said; come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest; that's Matt. 11:28. If you do not repent, you'd keep on laboring for the Serpent. But if you repent and make Jesus your Lord today and begin to read your scriptures; you'd find peace and the above three lots will not be yours. God bless you.
Anti pastor this blog is not for u. We have hear
DeleteThis blog is where she needs to be. People never listen and think they're smarter than God. Some will even come here and narrate their sexcape, only to start sending stupid annoying chronicles asking for help.
DeletePoster 1 jst ignore hm n continue praying malicious Men are draining....poster 2 move on with ur life that Man never want to marry you....poster 3 I use to date a man like that..I left hm bfr he made me hate mysef
ReplyDelete@ poster 2 ur chronicles is d most annoying,person neva marry you....u go carry belle now Wat do u want members of bvn to tell u?mumu smh poster3:how many times has it bin said on this blog that u shuld neva eva tell anyone ur past not even ur husband.....but ona no de hear word because ona mouth d leak....u ve told him ur past na mrs I want a clean slate oya live with d consequences smh. Poster1: jst try ur best to ignore him
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2:
ReplyDeleteI work in a hospital and the most cases of "septic abortions" (abortions that get infected etc.) that we see is usually during the first quarter of the year; a fallout of vaginal pounding during Christmas and valentine. Chai, come and see beautiful dead girls, lost wombs, bedridden ones and so on. What pains me most is that these girls will continue denying that they had abortion as if the doctor is a magistrate that will sentence them to death. One denied aborting till she breathed her last only for the nurses that were to prepare her body for the morgue to pull out a mangled baby's remains from her vagina.
And these boys just continue to prowl on the next victims -any vagina that opens! Girls, there is no "rest in peace" if you did not let babies find peace in your womb when the "mistake" of premarital sex was made. If this is your case and you survived it; repent, we all make mistakes.
The guilty ones who do not want to repent are those that will come under my post to rant. Having said it, they will perhaps hide under anonymous and talk about how "nothing happened"! It takes just one day for the thief and murderers to be caught!
My friend go and seat down. Them die their own death, is it your death. Keep saying trash
DeleteMy sister tell them oo, they come here to claim St Monica why they are Satan's P. R. O.
DeleteWe are tired of reading this your tale all the time!...
DeleteContinue to post pls. The ones that have ears and brain will listen, the ones that don't will keep sending chronicles.
DeletePOSTER TWO:
ReplyDeleteYOU CERTAINLY MUST HAVE BEEN READING THIS MESSAGE I PASTE HERE AND OTHERS. THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE NOW.
WHO opens legs for sex?
Who get's pregnant?
Who bears the guilt of abortion (the man shares in the consequences though; see Proverbs 6:16) and cries every second/everyday?
Who is heartbroken and shattered and confused?
Who has insecurity and low self esteem?
Who is seen as the whore?
Who has suicidal thoughts (yes you murdered a human being or more see Gen. 9:6)?
Who sulks even a decade after the man has moved on, married and had kids?
Who is dumped?
On and on and on.
LADIES, WHY NOT CLOSE THIS HOLE CALLED VAGINA UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED? THE TEST THAT A MAN "LOVES YOU" IS THAT HE IS ABLE TO RESPECT YOUR BODY TILL HE PAYS YOUR BRIDE PRICE.
When the man finishes with you he moves on to the next "gullible victim"
Leave such men who are only interested in you body (no; just interested in your vagina and breasts) alone and face your life and make it right with God and do not kill kids etc.
Jesus says; "whoever comes to me I will not cast away". Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you
I have no doubt that poster 1 is I AM THE QUEEN AND BOSS OF THIS BLOG. her husband frustrate her at home and she comes here to pour it on other people. Mitcheldean.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, My hubby is like that just but we don't need a third party to settle. I normally beg him even for something insignificant so that we can start talking. I have learnt how to handle him now. I ignored him n to my greatest surprise, he came n begged me. So since then, that's my style now. As we speak, I av being serving him cold since yesterday. Let's see who go tire.
ReplyDeleteThe economy is very bad without marital problems. It is well with you all.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 Since your parents know about the pregnancy I think you can keep it with ease yes? Ultimately the decision is yours.
Poster 3 I pray you come out of it with your sanity. Dealing with "religious" people hmmm...
Poster 1 If he is not violent towards you, I think you should learn to live with him thus. Work on your soft self. Become an obiakpor too. Any time he gets that way, give him space only act normal around him no incessant begging. It won't be easy for you cos I sense you are soft but that's your best bet.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteHis anger didn't start today, he was like this before you married him, yet you went ahead with the wedding.
He has some unrelsoved issues, probably from childhood, and until he uncovers what they are and deal with them, he's going stay angry at the world and keep taking out his frustrations on the people around him. He needs professional counselling.
Poster2 it is well with you call me let's see how we can take care of the baby.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. is amazing anyway just too early to give in that much to the relationship of less than 5 month.... best wishes poster 1&3.... no advice can be best for u guys but to understand the problem and do the needful, divorce isn't a good option most time once children involved.
ReplyDeleteThis marriage tin sef dn taya me, The rate at which marriages are crashing n pple living unhappy in the name of marriage is alarming. Una no dey encourage the single ones at all ooh. I'm 28 ds year buh im not even ready sef, it's not a do or die tin biko. Some people make marriages look like it's a free ticket to heaven, if only we are bothered about God and helping people like d way we boda about marriage,biko lemmie gaan hang out wit the girls #icantshout
ReplyDeletePoster 2,
ReplyDeleteHope you're not one of those that come on this blog to brag about having sex? Close your legs until you're married, na lie, they won't listen. Experience is the best teacher. Pray he changes his mind and come back, also inform his family that accepted you, if all that doesn't work then you've learn an expensive lesson and nobody needs to tell you from now on to close your legs to a male that has not married you.
poster 3. pray, pray and pray more
ReplyDeletePoster 3, your husband doesn't sound like a normal person, so why kill yourself over him because of love ? Maybe you should separate for a while, and give him space to miss you ? I don't know what to advice you, but i know you saw his strong personality and that he is a religious fanatic before you married him.
ReplyDeleteWomen, look before you leap. Never compromise on major things such as your peace of mind just because you want to get married, you won't enjoy the marriage and will run back to been single again. Do your best to choose a good partner for yourself and a good father for your kids.
Poster1...my hubby was exactly like that. Dunno if i shuld call it malice. But he would get angry over small issues and refuse to talk to me for days, sometimes up to a week. It was really frustrating cuz he does not yell or argue,. He would just retract into this silly shell and stay mute. Note that he never did it while we are courting, not even once.
ReplyDeleteRight now, its a thing of the past. We even talk about it and laugh.
How did we get here? After doing everything in my power including ignoring him, throwing mad tantrums to kuku scatter everything, and going to the balcony to cry (lol).... I decided to hand him over to God. I prayed about it and approached him on the issue, making him realise how hurtful his actions were and he told me the despised the way i used to yell at him and since he naturally wasn't the one to yell, he would retract to sort out his emotions. We both promised to work on our shortcomings and we made conscious efforts. But mehn it wasn't easy cuz i naturally liked to speak my mind and found myslf yelling in the process. Anyways, today its different. We still offend each other, but we quickly apologize and deal with it before bitterness sets it.
*sets in*
ReplyDelete1: All I can say is pray for your horseband.
ReplyDelete2: I think you should keep the baby if you can. Try to find out why he has cold feet. If he really doesn't want you, don't force it, it means he is not the one.
3. You should have kept shut.All I can say now is pray.
Poster 1: Just ask God to work on ur husband
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I do feel for u but I don't know what to advise u. Speak to ur mum maybe she can talk to his people.
P3: I learnt a long time ago that it's bad news to tell a man about Ur past no matter how innocent ur past may ve been. Have a heart to heart talk with him
@queen and boss,Abeg I need nack pigeon for my bf head.how do I go abt it?
ReplyDeleteLocate a good cele church near you and they will do the needful for you!...
DeleteAbeg no knack o
DeleteNa bf u call am
At d end u go find out say no be beta market
Poster 1: It's time you have the "great quarrel of marriage".It's that one quarrel that fixes that major bullshit.
ReplyDeleteIgnore him in double dose,tell him you are tired of that sort of marriage and give the impression of a plan B. You need to instill fear in him.......fear of him loosing you and the kids, his family. Re-invent yourself........look as flupy as you can and shine while he ignores you........ you could move some clothes or visible items at home for added effect..........You need to address this now.......it's really an unhealthy attitude.........it's difficult to "submit to" or respect a man-child.......... it would work if you are adequately financially empowered. Also, every woman should have a serious-back-up........ If this man does not change, he would seek out a weak woman who will "mother" him the way he wants. .Battle this out now so you don't become a bitter woman who endured a child and an empty marriage.
Poster2: What many ladies do not realise is that it is mainly men that are mentally unprepared for marriage that want their girlfriends to get pregnant before marriage.......coz it is an easy road........ to get approval for marriage,.......to deceive girls, to test fertility conditions.........forgetting, marriage is a complex box that require sensible people who will not grab the easy way out first............. keep your baby,dust yourself and learn your lesson.
Poster 3: Stop telling guys about your past.........no matter how matured they seem,it will backfire.A man who desperately want to be your present and in your future will not obssess about your past............Sorry, you are learning the hard way. My sincerest advice will be for you to LEAVE NOW.............This husband of yours is a pastor-worshipping fanatic who is extremely manipulative and abusive............. Don't waste your time and energy praying for him. Plan properly, move out and try not to get pregnant, Leave and find God, find yourself and be happy.............. Forever is too long to be miserable.........kisses.
Poster1 I can so relate, mine keeps malice a lot n other thgs. He's driving me to depression. I wish I didn't run into marriage. To think we r nt even upto 2yrs. It saddens me. I am tired. I think I need to see a counsellor. I am praying for seperation either via a job in another state. I am tired of praying 4 us. I dnt even knw what to tell u
ReplyDeleteAll these children in marriage sef!...
DeleteSmall thing they would want to divorce and seperate from their spouse....
Don't you know how to keep malice?...give it to him fire for fire!...
My dear, it's phase. It shall pass. U just said it, -2yrs
DeleteWorryless.
We all go thru diff chalenges. Its d threshold dt matters.
Do ur part n leave d rest.
Poster 2, I just commented but now must go anon.
DeleteIf dt bele neva reach 8wks, my dear I will buy Cytotec Misoprotol 4tabs, insert 2 in my V and place 2 tabs under ur tongue to disolve. Ur period must show. Bet it.
I trust mysef. Especialy if d guy is notin to write home about.
Just b sure u do it @night so u avoid driving or bike cos d breeze can cause u to shiver for Africa.
Thanks
Some men can have phobia for commitments sha!
DeletePls all posters the solution to your problem is in the movie WAR ROOM. Pls all of u shld go on ur knees and pray. Watch WAR ROOM. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAbegi War Room has been in practise evn before d movie was written.
DeleteWe all ve our own 'closet'.
No be must to copy n practise exact way by praying n going outside to make devil flee.
Any best way to communicate wit God witouut distraction is ur War room.
My 2nd ear never hear werin I do for past na man born of another woman.tueerrr! my secret is safe n buried right here in my heart.
ReplyDelete@poster1 na u dey look dat man face na.if he bone u for one week pls bone am for 2mnts.na him go begin find ur face.b behaving lik u dnt care!if u n am dey slip dsame room b4,comot for d room go stay wit ur kids.bliv me he will STOP!
ReplyDeleteNo go stay wit ur kids oo. Except u stay n den wen u wake up in d middle of d night to pee or drink water, u join him.
DeleteNa so seprate rooom dey start mbok.
why can't women just learn not to get pregnant before marriage, I just don't understand it. There is morning after pills, buy a couple and keep just incase, it saves you so much insult. there is condoms, with reading all dese chronicles daily and ppl don't still learn. When a relationship breaks you can move on so much easily and you don't keep begging the bastard of a man.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I know such men. You are already married what can you do? Pls ignore him too, occupy ur mind with stuff. I know it's quite hard, my husband too dos it smtimes. It's at d beginning it use to bother me. Mon-fri I'm too tired from work to even care. Weekends,sat I will make sure I go out with my friends, dress seductively, post plenty pictures on bb and instagram( the thing pisses him off), Sunday after church, I will go and have a nice meal with my baby, come back home and sleep. Let him keep keeping malice na, I won't even notice him. When he gets tired, I will come and start disturbing me for sex in d middle of d nite, I give in, and we have awesome make-up sex.
Poster 2, you just met this guy in January you said. And in 4mths all this drama has happened. My dear if I were you I wld go for an abortion. This guy is crazy and evil. The only problem is everybody knows abt the pregnancy. The pregnancy seems to be the sort that will have a lot of complications. Can you carry the load emotionally and financially. Bcos I don't see this guy helping out.
@doopleganger said smthn must have happened e.g fight. My dear some guys are crazy like that, you don't nothing to them. But after they had enuf of ur pussy. They start claiming everything is getting too much for them, that the pressure is much. They start pulling back. It happens a lot. That is why it isn't safe to get pregnant for a man that hasn't paid ur bride price.
Poster 3, I have forgotten ur story. But I think you said smthn about your past. Why do women still confess their past to men. Of what use is ur past to ur marriage. MARK MY WORDS, men will always use it against you. My husband believes I only dated 3ppl before him. Even though I am sure my body count even pass 10. But no man ever needs to know uv had more than 3 sexual partners. Never say uv had more than 3 abeg. Who body count epppp.
I'm outttt.
I like you already
DeletePoster2.u knw wat chase d guy away?U LIED!how on earth can u say u ar SS wen u ar nt?at a tim u told him d preg is nt dia,after somtim u said is there.THEM DEY DO U FROM UNA VILLAGE?d truth is men dont lik women dat are nt trust worthy.since u said u av met his family i tink u shld tel dem.mayb dey can tlk to him or somtin.as for baby no abort am ooooo.my daughter dat i had outside wedlock na she dey giv me so much joy today ooo.her brain na fire.she is wanted by all.b wise!
ReplyDeleteposter3 dat ur hubby no serious.i dont stay wit pple dat dont trust me oo.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, so you want to kill urself becos ur hubby is keeping malice. Why not occupy urself with activities and ignore him too. You are married already manage him like that and stop reporting him to d whole nation. Can't you also ignore him?
ReplyDeletePoster 2, when did we just say Happy new year. In 4mths only you have gotten fiancé, gotten pregnant, been thru medical trauma and gotten dumped. My dear you've rushed urself too much. Pls get an abortion and shake it off. This man is nothing to write home about.
Poster 3, uv been a BV I presume and you still told ur husband ur body count. This ur marriage is a sham marriage. While some 25yr olds are still enjoying their single life and cruising around town. Uv been thru stuff 50yrs old women are going thru in marriage.
Pls don't get pregnant for this man. So you won't add single mother to ur-predicament.
I don't advice ppl to leave dere marriage, but you need to search hard if you want to spend d rest of ur life living in misery.
@empress cho, the way you comment gives headache.
ReplyDeleteCan't you comment like normal ppl without all dos annoying lines, Biko.
Poster two... U deserve it. Why would you joke with someone as serious as SS? Knowing fully well it is a serious problem to families affected by it. Good for you liar!!!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Some people struggle with forgiveness. Pray for the Holy Spirit to touch his heart.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Pray for wisdom. You obviously lack it.
3. You just have to keep working to show him he can trust you. Commit you problem into God's hands.
Goodluck
No comment abeg....marriage scares me already and i will be 24yrs this July single as anything
ReplyDeletePoster two please do not touch that pregnancy, I know is not easy but please keep that baby. Wishing you all the best.
ReplyDeletePoster three stay put in your marriage, keep on praying for your husband.
ReplyDeleteAll d plenty tins I typed just went away
ReplyDeleteI hate to read comments like: "u guys dint date for long;u dint study ur spouse before marriage; blablabla"
ReplyDeleteI know a couple who dated for 7yrs n d mariage only lasted 2yrs wit a kid. They tried to get back but it just dint work out. The guy is now maried to anoda later ni wish dem good luck.
I know anoda who spent 9yrs doing bf/gf fiancé/fiancée, ve 1kid yet d blues dey sing now sounds like raggae. The list goes on.
Marriage is very deep &has got diff formulas. Only d presence of God n both parties consciously trying to save it can help.
For me, so long u ve a kid(s), d partner isn't one habitual cheat & domestically violent, den u can perch &patch. However if d treatment causes unbearable hardship n irreconcilable differences, pls take time off for holidays or separation.
.
Poster2, please keep ur baby. Time for abortion has past evn wit easiest n safe method.
ReplyDeleteSo long u were not raped &u no be under 25yrs undergraduate.
I bet d guy wud com back to u.
U'd b glad u kept ur baby cos she/he wud b a source of gladness. Also keep ur glam.
Hehehe Poster1 u sound like u r young in mariage like 3yrs old.
ReplyDeleteSis see ehh, wen d ogbanje of keeping malice shows, just log out.
Except u r at fault, do not apologize. Abegi. Somtyms it's good to treat som1 exact way u r treated so dey see n feel wat stupidity is.
Divert ur atention to loving ur kids, doing ur wifely chores,...n visiting dis blog.
He must change. Him go tire.
All dis will b done while u study him more. Then wen u say I wil do this, he wil know u mean it n can do it. U shud be unpredictable. He expects ur sorry ass begging always.
Be wiser
Poster3 sorry oo. Its too late to withdraw past statements bt neva to late to stop. Som gists r on need to know basis.
ReplyDeleteWater wey u c person shit must turn bele.
No involve any 3rd party who isn't an objective criteria dt he respects n can influence him. Don't ever report to ur MiL or SiL d past story ish.
If u dialogue (be prepared to get cold treatment) be wise not to giv him tinz to pick for abuse/insult.
The human mind is programmed to remember n react to hurting gists.
So long d person is for mariage, pls not all tinz r told to a spouse. Except obvous tins like 'damaged womb', etc
Men tell us d truth but not d whole truth.
Take Notice dt anytin u say wil b used for or/and against u in mariage