"My guy my guy...Beck what's up na? You just dey change am for me anyhow. Nawaooo."
"Change? Did you just say change, those boys at that filling station will descend on you now"
"Ahhhh, why na? Wetin change do? Shee na because you don dey learn Reuben Abati style abi?"
"Choi...Oga Reuben Abati, I love his writings die. Oh you've not heard, nobody uses that word again especially in Enugu State. Mention change, and your face will change with blows from the public."
"My own Enugu State...I have missed that Okpa 9th mile too much and those Enugu girls wey like to dey do."
"Na your way. Nothing interests you asides green bottles and ukwu sara mbara."
"Beck Beck...na only once oooo. I heard Enugu State governor was crying about the slaughter at Uzo-Uwani. The guy come declare fasting and prayer and everybody come dey para for am."
"That's Nigeria for you. A country where only prayers and fasting is the solution to all issues in the polity. The politicians understand the game well."
"Nawaooo...but why dem dey change am for the man na?"
"I have warned you before...stop using that word around here. Nigerians are tired of only fasting and prayers now, they need blood."
"But someone prophesy say na dis government Nigeria need now. And na for Enugu the prophesier from come sef."
"Hahahaha...prophesier indeed. I have begged you to start attending adult education but Ukwu nwanyi Owerri won't allow you."
"Beck Beck...na one tin go kill a man. But wait ooo...e be like say this prayer and fasting and setting up a committee tin no dey work for Naija again oooo."
"Cut it out bro. The governor tried calling the Presidency. But he was put on hold according to them. Poor man...see as he was shedding heartfelt tears of sorrow. Chai chai...der ris...sorry...gimme my hankie."
"You for complete am na. Chai Beck...see this backacious bulldozer."
"I refuse to look."
"Hahahaha. Maradona like you. But wait oooo Beck...I watched some videos few days ago and someone you know was called a Maradona."
"Who?"
"I no know him real name shaa. But na Maradona another man call am. Talk say he sabi play ball well with officials for him school and change players."
"Change? This change again. Una byeee"
"Wait na Oga...nawaooo. You don receive your transport budget abi you wan leg?"
"My car is self-driving bro."
"Hahahahaha. Dreamer. Una go start pencil production for 2018 na. Dubai don already conclude plans by 2030 to have self-driving public buses."
"Don't insult the government please. The Minister for Science and Technology knows his onions."
"Hahaaha...and maggi na. But dem no know how to make soup."
"Do you know what it means to produce our own pencils? Its a change agenda. Pencils and corruption fighting go hand in hand. Both clean errors."
"Na you dey mention change now oooo. Una see am."
"My brother. I am just confused."
"Confused? Na to fast and pray oooo. Make I prepare the prayer budget? Na small money."
"I will pray in my room. God will hear."
"Beck Beck. No be so we dey do am here oooo. Oya come make we go town hall meeting. Honourable Minister dey come. He fit drop something for boys."
"Which one? The one that is tackling the herdsmen crisis 'silently'?"
"You see your life? Na you go school ooo but you no fit understand grammar."
"You tell me what silently means then."
"Now you come. Oga Beck, silently mean say dem dey strategise, dey wait till when people go shout...den dem go blame on GEJ and PDP. You no dey understand something. You think say that thing na small work. Billion of naira..."
"Its billions of naira bro."
"Sharap. Dem don invest Bullion of nairas..."
"Oh God...can you shut up now?"
"Mba oooo. Dem don invest the money for this "silent" fight. So make we go collect our share and join in the silent fight."
"I won't be a part of your shenanigans."
"Why you dey call me shena now? I show you big ukwu but you no wan look. Now you dey call me shena."
"Don't worry, my PVC is warming up. I will pray, fast and do the needful if no substantive improvement is recorded in the polity soon."
MBN.
Change has come to stay @least for the next 4yrs, we don enter am
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
funny. I am warming up my pvc. i made up my mind not to vote come 2019 but with what i am seeing, i will vote CHANGE out
ReplyDeleteNice write up
ReplyDeleteThe whole country is in a mess
The government is just incompetent
Pray something drastic happens soon cos we cannot continue like this till 2019
Hahahahahahaha...
Stella who coal town help?
ReplyDeleteThis is too long for me since its not amebo please gimme tt news abeg. All of us are enjoying the drama but some keep saying y bring on social media.
Buhari will never end well!...
ReplyDeleteI heard that the Enugu state governor called him several times and he ignored him!!,,,
Instead,he sent the military and the police to the scene of the incidence after his Fulani brothers have finished sucking the villagers blood..
Why was the governor calling Buhari? I thought your people were making mouth that the fulani can't try them? They finished you,you're calling Buhari......una too make mouth. cowards. RIP to the dead.
DeleteMtchw
ReplyDeleteRazorsharp
OBJ released his book "My Watch" in the last administration
ReplyDeleteIs he watching this administration at all? His silence on the state of the nation is deafening.
Uche Nworah! The day you will find this thing you are looking for. Were you not the same person that stopped your car in the middle of the road to snap an Aboki and one cow by the roadside?
ReplyDeleteI wonder why you didn't challenge him to a fight. Jee zuo gi ike nwokem. People like you will pee on their pants before war even reach their side.
LOL! Thanks for publishing my article story Auntie Stella. Bigger thanks to Uncle Abati for this writing style. "The Reuben Abati Way"
ReplyDeleteHeheheheheheheh naija can like to joke over everytin. Part of the reason why we sane sef
ReplyDeletePhuck off Abanti! 👿👹 how many articles did you write when GEJ and his gang which include you were looting this country dry. Phuck off biko no lemme change am for you o.
ReplyDeleteDid you read the article at all??
DeleteCalm your titties down
DeleteNo be him write this one.
Lol.... Yeah Fab mum i read the write up to the very end, i am sure the *abanti style* i saw confused me, more so, that's exactly how Abanti writes these days. Sorry o Mr Abanti but i just think people should take it easy with this govt. If GEJ was criticized half the way PMB is been criticized, we won't be where we are today. Thanks Chi Exotic i have calmed my titties... Lol.
DeleteIt is well
ReplyDelete