Saturday Laughs Don Land!

JOKE 1

A man was starved of sex because his wife had put to bed thru caesarean section. One day, the wife said, my Love, I know how u must be feeling bcos of my condition; abeg take this N2000 and look for someone, have sex and satisfy yourself.

The husband collected the money and left, but returned after 30 mins. The wife said, Haba! So soon? and he answered, "I no go far, I just enter this our neighbour house!".

And the wife asked, I hope she no collect money o? The man said she

collected and the wife said, Abi she dey craze? Abeg hold this pikin for me, make I go meet am. The time wey she born pikin, I help her husband for free, why she go collect money from YOU????. Laugh to ease ur stress. TGIF

JOKE 2

Two Communities, Ozoro and Oleh in Delta state,decided to hold a drinking competition. A week to the competition, Ozoro community sent a delegate to Oleh, to confirm if the competition will still hold. When the guy that was the delegate got there, the people of Oleh brought 20 litres of their strongest Ogogoro (Local Gin) as Kola. The guy asked; Can i test it?. The people said; Go ahead. The guy drank and finished the whole 20 litres and said; This is okay, where is the main drink?.The People of Oleh shouted; Come o, are you among the competitors?.The guy replied; No, i did not qualify.

JOKE 3

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Easter May Be Postponed!!!

Judas is refusing to betray Jesus this year. He claims that 30 pieces of silver is too small due to the current economy situation and high rate of US dollar.

He is demanding 100% increment on the amount.

Negotiations are still ongoing.

You are hereby advised to free your cows, goats, turkeys and chickens awaiting Crucifixion during the Easter season, pending when he will receive alert from his bank.

Judas and his entire family duly apologize for the inconveniences caused... hahaha

JOKE 4

HUSBAND: My dear, its like

the light in the toilet is now automatic!

WIFE: Wat happened?

HUSBAND: When I open the

door the light came on and after I urinated and

closed the door the light

went off!

WIFE:  Drunkard! Anu-ofia.. you have gone to urinate in the FRIDGE again!

JOKE 5

A man and his wife were in court to start their divorce proceeding. The problem in contention was who was going to keep the child. The man or the woman? The woman jumped up and said my Lord, I am the owner of the child, I brought her into this world, with so much pain and labour at birth. The judge then turned to man and gave him the chance to defend himself and the man said my lord mine is a question: when you insert your ATM card into the ATM machine and the money comes out does the money belong to you or the machine?

Culled from Facebook