Sunday In House Gists.

Sunday in house gists,all unedited and funny!..Did you miss Saturday in house gists?read it HERE

GIST 4

'GREEDINESS' IS NOT GOOD

Hey guys and wonderful  bv's, hope y'all had a swell week.

 This gist/amebo actually happened Friday evening, on my way back from work I stopped at a fast food restaurant to eat, I got to the counter and there were some people there, closest to me was a young lady, I asked how much for the chicken as it wasn't looking fresh and big enough, the attendant told me it's the same price as others, I said God forbid, I can't buy for that price, the lady(also buying) made a throaty sound, I ignored, my money my business. 

This lady came with a very matured man, and she ordered like a glutton, rice, salad, moimoi, plantain beef, and a big pack of juice for herself. As I saw what she ordered, I got interested to see how it'll go down.

 As if it was not enough, this lady stood up with her plate of food and walked up to the counter, she started complaining the meal was cold, , the salad was under it all, that they should microwave it, another lady was trynna discourage her that you can't heat food with salad in it, whosai, she started raising her voice, the attendant had to microwave it for her, meanwhile the man she came with didn't say a thing. I went to my seat and faced her to see how she was gonna enjoy her "warm salad".

 After about a few minutes of tossing with the meal, she asked for takeaway pack so she can cover her shame. Greediness is not good, maybe she thought that is how she will "chop" the man's money. And probably end up with a running stomach, I can't imagine what must have been going through the man's mind. Modesty is key.

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GIST 5

  EARLY MORNING COMEDY

 This happened sometime late last year, I was on my way to work one fine morning, my bobo asked me to get ready on time, trust women and make up, told him to go on ahead, I'll find my way, he was driving.

I took the public bus, a very uncomfortable journey from Agbara to mile2, 5 on a row of seat, a woman got on the bus, "pidgin English will best describe this ...

One bros tell her to shift make him siddon well, problem, the woman begin complain say why the guy go tell her to shift weda no be the same spot somebody just come down from, see problem o, madam shift make person siddon o, she no green, she begin insult the guy, trust lagosians na, every body chook mouth. I don dey vex say who send me enter bus, though sometimes it's entertaining.  

 Next tin I hear, the guy begin insult her back say na ogogoro seller the woman be that's why she get mouth, the woman respond, she come sober up, say the guy dey insult God as him dey insult her, na there everybody burst laff say e possible the woman na real ogogoro seller, we come begin beg the woman say e don do, she no gree o, she talk o even she begin laff herself. When she wan come down we begin beg say make she no go o, she don dey entertain us this morning.

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GIST 6

BAD MIC

This happened some years back. Let me start this way. Normally before every harvest, our church or different branches always do musical nights a Friday before. And they have this habit of reducing the mic sometimes off some of the equipments so to disrupt our performance cos most times we're better than them. 

On this particular musical night I was a back up singer (tenor) and there was one new girl(at that time) that I was eyeing in the church lol she too was focused on whatever I wanted to do. We started singing and I didn't know I was given a bad mic. I was seriously singing tenor to impress not knowing I was the only one who could hear my self. The whole choir behind me was laughing because they knew what they were doing at one time they would increase it so loud and my voice would over shadow the lead singer. Lol it was so frustrating and embarrassing cos even the girl noticed she could not hear my voice I had to continue till the end. Since then any musical night I'd just go and play the piano or bass guitar

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GIST 7

MY HAND TOO SLOW

When were still in primary school, we used to attend lesson after school. It was called lesson in those days. Before we start any work for the day, we usually have dictation session to fire our brains up. One day a new boy called Daniel joined us. Na so teacher start dictation oo, afterwards we submit our books for marking. 

Small time our teacher call Daniel (those teachers wey no dey cover person shame) the following conversation ensued: 

Teacher:  Daniel why you no write anything now? The teacher asked in pidgin because na village Daniel come from. Daniel was looking at the teacher without saying anything. Na when teacher carry cane stand up dey waka near Daniel naim Daniel summon courage, come slowly say, ''aunty my hand too slow''. 

Our teacher weak, we the student wether you sabi spell or not, all of us started laughing. From that day onwards, na, my hand too slow we dey call Daniel.

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GIST 8

THE SLAP FROM BEHIND

Hi everyone, my story goes thus, I have this friend named amaka, amaka plays in the most annoying way, she would just come from behind and give you a dirty slap and run laughing, she did one that made me soooo angry and I vowed to pay her back in a way she would never forget.

 I went to my best friends house to spend the day and I was just talking about amaka and how amaka will suffer in my hands, we were in the market hours later when I spotted this our darling amaka bending and arranging some things in a poly bag nylon, ooooo I was sooo glad, I didn't say anything to kemi (the best friend) I just walked to amaka and gave her this slap behind her neck that sent her to the ground, I didn't even plan it to be that hot .

I was just standing there smiling and OMG!! Amaka looked up and it wasn't her face..it was an entirely different person, not just a different person but an elderly woman that even had tribal marks, she had a very fair skin like amaka, a slim figure and had braids on, I just knelt down held her and started explaining and apologizing, the shouts of ahhhhhh yeeeeee echoed in my ears, people gathered and I was explaining, the woman was calm and just said it was okay but one man kept pushing my head from behind, I felt so humiliated and just left the scene feeling in a way I cannot even explain..

When I saw amaka I just told her please don't you ever greet me in your life again I beg you, God bless you and your family, she was so confused...lol!

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GIST 9

MAMA NO-NONSENSE

‎This gist is still about the beautiful Mama. One early morning, she sent her daughter to wash the mortar and pestle in the kitchen before going to school. Her daughter complained that she was already going late to school. She called her several times, warned her, but the girl ran out and left. 

Around break time, Mama carried Mortar and Pestle on her head, with soap and sponge, to her daughter's school. The teachers saw her and were surprised. They helped her bring it down. She told them to call her daughter to wash it, because she refused to wash it in the house, so she thinks she prefers to wash it in school.

The teachers were shocked, some were laughing.

 They called her, and after flogging her,for disobeying her mum, she had to carry her kaya to the tap. When Mama was sure she had washed it very well, she turned and left, after telling her to carry the mortar back home after school. The girl started crying from embarrassment. Today, her daughter  is happily married, with children, but has not forgotten this day.

One person sent in Gists 8 and 9


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GIST 10

Correct yourself 

Years ago wen I was in secondary school somewhere in Ayobo, Lagos. Our English language teacher was critical about us improving not only the way we write but our spoken English too.

So, he brought up a rule in school that we shouldn't only speak English during English period but stop speaking vernacular in the school premises, come see wahala. Not only that, he also said anybody that commit a blunder shldnt be laughed at but encouraged and told to correct him/herself without hurting the person's feelings.

One faithful hot day, during short break, one of d biggest girl in class then sat, beside a window. Because she was the darkest girl in class then she was always liable to abuses from mostly guys. On that day, as usual after a serious round of abuses, she told everybody to leave her alone and stay away from her.

One daring guy was just in front of her and blocking the window. So the girl said ''please leave the window side ,let me see breeze'' the whole laughed and chorused correct yourself, suddenly the class was quiet waiting for her to correct herself, she then said, ''leave the window area let the atmosphere jump inside''

ehnnnn come see laugh, after the round of laughter the class chorused correct yourself again, the class was quiet again. She then said, ''leave the window let me feel ventilation'' correct yourself again chorused the class, she then said ''leave the window let me see cross ventilation'' correct yourself again!!!!

'' leave the window let breeze cool my body''. Come see laugh that day.