Sunday In House Gists

Saturday in house gist was just one but we have had more sent in..please enjoy and compare with yesterdays own..we need a winner with 50 legitimate votes..lol

GIST 2
BUS SLEEPERS

That was how one day, I was on my way home and I just boarded this AC BRT bus going to Berger. I settled in one corner and put my head on the window cos I was so tired, plus better AC come de blow me. That was when the ACs were still in good order oh. 

Na so I cut out de sleep like sey I dey my bed. Hoping to wake up in good time before I reach my bus stop(toll gate). Ol'boy, I did not even know when the bus stopped at toll gate, only for me to open my eyes later and behold I was already at Capital Oil almost close to Berger. Na so I use style look around, arrange myself like sey na berger I de go oh. 

As we reach berger, I softly arrange myself cross back road to enter motor going to toll gate again. Since then, that kain sleep never near me again.

I think sey my own bad, shame no gree me talk am out till recently. My friend tell me sey my own good, sey for Lagos Island where you get buses going to Yaba, she did not know that this certain day the supposed area was now taken over by buses going to Holy Ghost Fridayservice of Redeem. 

She just waka enter the bus without asking and trust my friend she can sleep for africa. Na make the driver never start engine she don sleep go. She finally woke up to an unknown place and she used style ask the person beside her and he said they were at berger. She just shouted 'owa' oh. Driver was  like 'madam, na bus for camp ground straight' . She said he shouldn't worry that she was dropping at berger. Other passengers were even pitying her sey she just waste money as she for just enter berger straight. She no even mind them. She came down and crossed over to start her journey again. 

She come sey if she had reached camp before realising it, she for just call her oga tell am sey she decided to go camp and they will see her the next day. Shame no go gree am sey sleep and ignorance carry am enter route wey no be her own.

Cheers

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GIST 3

EXTORTION GONE WRONG

Good day all. This is a story my Granny told us about what happened to her when she was still very young. I hope you enjoy it.

Granny just got married then and had no child yet. So she brought a boy from the village to come and live with her( let's call him Tom). There was water scarcity in that area at that time so all the people in that neighborhood normally fetched water from a public tap.

On this particular day, Tom went to fetch water as usual and met a very long queue. When it was his turn, a pregnant woman tried to overthrow him, but Tom refused. They had a little scuffle and the pregnant woman landed on the ground and claimed that Tom pushed her. They came to report the issue to my grandma and grandpa. The woman was taken to the hospital for checkup,  the doctor said she was alright and my grandpa paid for the checkup.

Few days later her husband came to my Granny's place  and said that the wife wanted tea but they didn't have money, that granny should give them money. Granny gave him the money without complaining,  he thought to himself; after all his boy pushed the man's pregnant wife to the ground. After that day it became a regular thing, anytime the wife wants to go for antenatal or anytime they need anything they'd come and meet my grandparents and my grandpa would give them the money. It continued that way until the wife delivered the baby.

When  my grandparents heard that she has delivered, they were so happy that finally, all the troubles and demands would stop. But...no, it didn't. The husband came to my grandpa that the hospital bill was very high because the wife had some complications as a result of the fall and so he needed money to go discharge his wife. When my Granny heard, she became mad and said ; no way! But my grandpa asked her to be calm that he was sure that was going to be the last time. So my grandpa gave them the money and heaved a sigh of relief.

But that wasn't the end, few months later, the woman came again with her baby boy, that the baby was sick and she needed money for treatment. 

This time it was my grandma that went to answer the door because by now my grandpa was already fed up. After she finished explaining her reason for coming, my grandma asked her to give her the little boy so she could have a closer look. She handed my granny the boy. After having a very close look, my granny screamed ( I'm going to use pidgin for this part): " see this pikin eyes, this pikin resemble my husband! you sure say no be my husband give you belle? So this na my husband pikin, una come de play me wayo say my small boy push you fall? I don carry our pikin, go call your husband come" granny started screaming: neighbours make una come o! Make una come see my husband pikin wey we de look for since! By then people started gathering round. 

immediately, the woman grabbed her child from my granny and started running before people could ask what the matter was. As she was running my granny was screaming " come give us our pikin o, come give us our pikin o! " That was the last my granny ever saw  of the woman or her husband, and so she became permanently healed from the fall. I hope I made you laugh.

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GIST 4

RACE OF LIFE

Good day ladies and gents. Y'all remember how sweet it was growing up in the 90s? Well i can say that i was pretty stubborn.             

When i was in pry school, i was so naughty. My mom stammers a bit whenever she's angry and she'll pick anything close by to hit u with. So i devised a means of avoiding her beating. Anytime she's angry at me, i'll run down the stairs b4 she can pull off her slippers or pick anything to hit me with. 

On this certain day, i annoyed her so bad and as she was shouting, i immediately ran down d stairs, only 4 me to look up to see my mom coming down d stairs. Oh boy! Na so i pick race ooo. I just knew my own has finished today. I ran outside the gate and she still followed me. I ran and entered one bush path and she was still following. With my tiny legs, my 4 steps was her 1 step. That's how she just jumped and caught me. Ochim oo!!! 

I started begging her..making all the promises in the world. As she no gree, i started shouting for help from my neighbours, they didnt help. She dragged me into the house and locked the door and she beat me enh to her satisfaction. Omo after that day, i stopped running down the stairs.                                                                          
Abeg today is the Lord's day, lets strive to keep it holy.              
*side eyes*

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GIST 5

MAMA NO-NONSENSE 

One of my favorite people on planet earth is an old woman in my hubby's village,  a widow. The first time I saw her, I stared at her, for she was still so beautiful. I was wondering how beautiful she must have been when she was young. My husband noticed my stare, and was laughing as he introduced me to her. He then told me a story that got me. The woman had a restaurant and joint for Palm wine, bush meat and other delicacies. It happened that a customer came and borrowed money from her, 8000 naira.

 When the agreed date of payment came, he was nowhere to be found. She waited for some days, but it seemed like he was avoiding her altogether. She sent messages across, to no avail. 

One early morning, (after finding out where he lived), by 5am, she packed her clothes in a traveling bag, went to the man's house, and knocked at the gate. When it was opened, she asked of his room, knocked. When the man opened the door to his room, he was shocked when he saw whom the visitor was. His wife was still in bed.

The woman pushed him aside, kept her traveling bag, and went to lay down on the bed beside his wife. She told him congratulations, for he has married a second wife, turned and told the wife that she has a mate now. The man and his wife were confused. He begged her to go, that he'll come and pay her before noon. Whosai. Mama no gree. She told them to make breakfast for her. After eating, she told the man that in the afternoon, she'll go and bring her children. He should prepare their own room. No be person tell the man. He ran out, went to find money by fire by force, and paid her. After giving her the money, she left without her bag and told him to bring it for her. The man just dey answer yes ma. Enough respect for Mama. True story.

P.S: Stella, the first gist I sent in Yesterday, it really really happened to my friend Constance. A madman kissed her. We teased her for years till we lost contact. I would be glad to get in touch with her again (another day) . As for the mad man at the market, I don't know cause I wasn't there. I didn't claim to be there. I believed the gist cause some of those market women don't wear panties. I wasn't at the market with the narrator. BVs think it's all about the money. Not true. I'm having fun in SDK, I love gists, and I love laughter. I feel I'm home. Good Day.