This will crack you up and also dray you by your balls down memory lane!
LOL...
Today's kids are so spoilt that they don't know that in our days you could be
beaten for any of the following reasons:
1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing while the elders are seated
5. Sitting while the elders stand
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder
8. Not replying back to an elder
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished
11. Not greeting visitors
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset
16. Eating at the neighbour's home
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly
22. Eating too quickly
23. Eating too much
24. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up
25. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
26.Stumbling and falling when walking...
Which number were you mostly beaten for?
Extracted from a facebook post.
hmmmm i think almost all the numbers apply to me ooooh.
Abi now, we're not indomie generation lol
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
No 16, u dare not eat from a neighbour's food, except u are their child(ren) are best friends and eats in each other's house.
DeleteNo 19, why must u be beaten or cry when u fight with ur mate. They'd be like "Don't be a weak boy, u no be man? Next time bite him or give him a serious blow"
Coming home after sunset, in fact my twin sister and I were rearly let out of the house any time of day .
DeleteNumber 1,3,5,6 then number7-(Replying back to an elder) I won award on that then number 14 am not beaten on it rather am been pet by my dad wanting to know whatever I need then number 18,24,26
DeleteI was really a good kid!!! Good to a fault that u would wonder if I was a child* @ all
DeleteCan relate to 24 sha...
Hated that so much, cos my own sleep starts in the morning. I rarely sleep ontime...
NON
DeleteI was raised in heaven, so I didn't experience any of these
That's how I was in a boutique yesterday, a small girl of 17 years came to shop with her aunt so the owner of of d place a 35 years old guy touched d girl and said go inside there and check if d gown fits u,small girl just give the man eye and shouted "don't touch me like that,is something wrong with u? With British accent o Lwkmd! The man was embarrassed he was like see this smallie o I laughed so hard but on a serious note,kids don't hv respect again. It's too bad
DeleteHeaven ke oti o.
DeleteLmaoo if I tell u what happened to me one day ehn.
DeleteThat's how I came back from school.. was in primary school then. So usually every where was always quiet until my folks returned from work. So was always left with the maid at home. She was from Togo.
Then out of boredom one day after school o, I sat by the door and was minding my business. We had this neighbour who liked me a lot. Her kitchen window was adjacent to the door where I sat. So she greeted me and asked when I returned from school and if I had done my home work. I answered her. She was cooking fried stew, she was Ghanian. So the stew was always different from ours. She then suggested that I brought my plate so that she could give me some stew.
Imagine my joy as I rushed to our kitchen to get a plate. Because I wasn't as tall as the "medianlike" fence that separated us, I grabbed my grandmother's stool so that I could reach aunty Bee tru her kitchen window. She dished out the stew generously and I was thinking of what I would eat with it when our maid appeared by my side.
I had just received the stew and was about to come down from the stool when this maid of ours halted me and threatened that I shouldn't dare come down. She asked me to stand on the stool as I was, holding the stew. She said I would be there until everyone got back from work. That she would tell my mom that I went to beg a neighbour for stew. Ahhh my own don finish. I started crying and explaining, for where? This girl no gree o. At this time aunty Bee and gone away from her kitchen. As I stretched my neck to beckon on her to come and rescue me, and perhaps explain that it was her who suggested giving me the stew. This our maid said if I dared to call the aunty ehn, that she would deal with me. Omo see fear and panic
The one I was afraid for was all the other kids around that would meet me where I was made to freeze with plate of stew in my hands. Plus my sisters who were yet to return from school. I cried and begged and begged and pleaded. Finally she allowed me come down from the stool. I even said I wanted to throw the stew away o, she said never. This was how this maid taunted me with reporting to my mom anytime I offended her in the house. She didn't report me on that day tho. But I wish she did. Cos I would have been free from the fear she always made me go tru everyday. Na so I turn mumu.
But my other experience that landed me serious beating was when my youngest sister was still a baby. I used to steal her SMA milk and lick it. Somehow, I don't know how our maid always got to find out.
DeleteSo one day she caught me red handed.. and while she was still deciding how to deal with me, she had just changed my sister's diaper and she asked me to go throw it out in the bin. We used to have a special bin at the back of the house for her dirty diapers then. So out of fear of what would happen to me for stealing the milk, I rushed to the backyard with the diaper and just flung it across the fence into the next compound. I didn't even get to where the bin was
Unknown to me, it landed in one old woman's basin of stew that they were preparing outside the house in d next compound... cos they were having a big party.
Innocent me.. I was back in the house awaiting my punishment. When suddenly we started to hear a woman scream in our compound, asking who threw something into their compound. My aunt who was at home that day rushed out to find out what the woman was on about.
That's how they brought the basin with the diaper inside the soup.. and the woman said someone just threw this from our compound. She was damn furious. Immediately, my aunt knew it had to be from us...as na only us get pikin wey dey use diaper that time. She came into the house and d maid told her it was me, she now carried me out to the woman o.. Pleading that she should forgive me, as I was just a child bla bla bla. When the woman saw me shivering she just calmed down and waked away. But for inside house, dem finish my life that day. After my aunt beat me, the maid continued, then when my mom got home she took over the beating. Everyone that they reported me to either pulled my ear or gave me a knock. In fact I was frustrated ehn. Won't ever forget that day.
OK bye
All Of Them.
ReplyDeleteMe too...all of them applies to me; I remember one time dat I ate at a neighbour's house; my mum beat me up and put pepper in my eyes and bombom,till date I find it difficult to eat outside my house.
DeleteMine is 23,Eating too much...
DeleteI remember years ago in primary school;one faithful day like that i came back home quite early before my sister..i reached home and checked the dinning but no show of our food,i entered the kitchen,opened the pot and saw rice which my mum cooked,and the other one was stew with enough meat..
Normally my mum dishes the food for me and my sister in A foodflask which keeps it hot till we are back from school,but this very day i didnt see any food in the flask hence why i decided to check the pot..now on opening the pot,i was woowed cos the size of rice was unlike the usual,and i was like "wooow,mummy cooked more than enough today for us oo"...
I just dont know what came over me but i just saw myself eating the rice directly from the pot as i was making myself comfortable with the pot of stew too..like A joke,i kept eating and slept off,woke up later and continued from where i stopped,and before you could say "jack" i have finished the pot of rice,i went to the stew and kept licking and eating the meat to my satisafaction until i became exhausted and slept off..
The next minute i woke up,it was my sister and my mum looking at me with A stern face;but i just couldnt tell why and next thing that came out of my mouth was "mummy good evening"...she didnt even answer,but asked me if i have slept well and i said yes,she now asked if i have taken enough water after eating,and i said yes too..next thing she told me to go to the bed and sleep well..little me with the innocent mind went to bed..and that was my biggest mistake!!
Around 10pm or soo,the kind of slap plus cain that landed on me is something i can never forget in my life..next was my mum dragging me out of bed and asking "Aboy what happened to the rice i prepared for everybody? And also the stew plus meat i prepared to keep in the fridge??
Kai,the slap couldnt even allow me think straight and as i was still stuttering with words,more cain and military slap were landing on me..i was crying and my mum later stopped and said "owkay explain yourself"..before i could even say "mummy i thought the food is for me and........" she said ooww,you still have the strenght to talk shey? so even if that whole food is for you two,which one did you remain for her?? i just didnt know what to say again and that was how she continued with all sorts of punishment that night including pick pin etc..saying since i was able to finish A pot of rice,i should have the strenght to stand all those punishment,and that next time i wont go near her pot unless she dishes out our food by herself..
Kai,my body that day eehh,and since then my mum's kitchen or pot is my worst enemy..lol
But now we just joke about it together and she will always be like "Aboy,All this food you eat always,where does it go/show on your body"..
Childhood memories sha!!
@MARTINS ABOY
Choooiii number 24 is so me. I can sleep for Asia ehn.... I was beaten but scolded a lot
DeleteAll of the above o.hehehehe Especially 2 and fighting with your mate and winning.I used to be a dug tiger o.Hahahaha.Then I had serious long throat o.Looking at the visitor's mouth while they ate was my specialty.Chai,childhood memories.
DeleteMy own no dey dere.... i used to drink d remains of visitor's "minerals" even if d visitor finished it i will still take d kinkini drops in d bottle...Lol
ReplyDeleteHehehehhehehehehehehhehehe. I used to think it was poisonous to do so.
DeleteHahahahaha,your head dey dia o.I'm guilty of that too.
DeleteYes ke..u sabi that level..my mum sells drinks.. We use to call it rogomu. That combo of drops of different drinks no be here. She was Margaret Thatcher oo, once u were caught..haaaa
DeleteI knew Stella was gonna post this. It's been trending for some days now. My memories too plenty and they were all fun. But I no get power to type them.
DeleteEwwwww! Disgusting.
DeleteI can't even drink ang drink to the end of the bottle I always feel like the bottom is not clean.
Hahahaha
DeleteMadam rolex chic .....abeg clear for one side! na ur mouth we take dey rogomu? shift jare...So as a kid u felt d bottom is not clean....Yinmu!!
Delete21 and 11
ReplyDeleteUsing your left hand to give an elder stuff...
DeleteI was at the Nigerian embassy recently and this elderly man walks up to my 3 year old with a smile wanting to shake her hand. She brought her left hand to shake him, if you see the way the man Frank him face ehn. He said "use your right hand"
In my mind I'm like kini big deal? She sha obeyed and i grabbed my baby away
Side eyes
1,2,3 so funny ehn, if u do wahala,u no do gbege. I look at children on nowadays, crying n rolling on d floor cos dry want something and d mother will say, please give him Naaaaa.....
ReplyDeleteChai, d tin na gbakam ni ishi.... Anyway u cant say much till u born ur own sha
16
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteLmao..
ReplyDeleteI'm so 1,10 and 14. My mum so dealth with me for singing after she beats me, still don't know y I did that.
Almost all o.....kai my dad sha!
ReplyDelete213 comment 2016
I don't agree with 18 and 20. Na lie....
ReplyDeleteNobody has been flogged for eating too much like me.
DeleteEven as an adult, I still dey jonz for food. Chai
It is well with me.
All this elder elder thing never applied in my house oh hian! And coming back at sunset??? We were not even allowed out of the house in the first place lol. Being beaten to eat?? I was begged to eat. Coerced in fact. If I said I wanted this it will appear cos I never ate so they wanted me to look like a human being cos I never used to eat. In fact none of this applied when I was growing up oh
ReplyDeleteDey there dey form,
DeleteThere was no Ajebo in those days
May b yur own crime was leaving your food @ home n go to your neighbours house to eat their own
Heheheheheh
Hehehehhehehehehehehhehehe @lily
DeleteWe were not allowed to come out to d balcony or even downstairs then sef
Lmao @ Lillly simple,I di wicked mehn!!
DeleteTrinity fit be indomie generation nah.
DeleteLol indomie generation
DeleteStumbling and falling is so me
ReplyDeleteDon't know why I fall like every now and then
Even as I'm grown,i still fall flat sometimes
It's so funny and embarrassing too.
Na your people dey push you.
DeleteLOL
it means you've got clumsy feet..i drop things...i've got clumsy hands...
DeleteAnon 12.39,Same here.Stupid clumsy hands I gat.
DeletePray against it. I used to be clumsy dropping things until I made it a prayer point and got over it.
DeleteIt's because you have a very flat feet
DeleteLol. I stumbled a lot growing up, not out of clumsiness but shyness.
DeleteOne day, I was late to the assembly ground and on my way, I stumbled and fell with a thud. All eyes were on me and I refused to get up. I just laid there, trying to dig my way into another country. Lol
HahahahahahaHahahahahaha @dig my way into another country
DeleteAlmost all d numbers apply to me..... it is kinda funny
ReplyDeleteReally can't remember
ReplyDeleteSleeping when my parents ain't back from work
Was almost an everyday thing, cos they'll knock till infinity.
Make we hear word, cut join body
DeleteHahahaha 12:37.
DeleteYou forgot to mention horse face
Lol.. I was once beaten when I was eating with my elders and I remove fish from the soup to eat, no be small slap I receive that day.d food tire me sef.
ReplyDeleteHaha haha
DeleteHehehehheheheh
DeleteHahahahha,Ionce went to a neighbour's house and seeing they had visitor,I dipped my hand in the saucer and took one garden egg,Choi!! Neighbour's house o.My long throat that year na die!!
DeleteChai that number 25...most children still do it#looking at visitors while they are eating...especially when u serve the visitors snacks n drinks.
ReplyDeleteVery very true ooo,not like all these indomie generation children. That time ehn, breathing too much sef na wahala. Every cane was a hit back to back, from pankere to koboko to wire to blaller, I can just smile about it all now.
ReplyDeleteEvery morning you are being lined up with other bedweters with your mat or mattress to receive beatings for bed wetting
ReplyDelete13, 14,20.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha mine was 4,7,15,16,24
ReplyDeleteNo 14
ReplyDeleteI ca like to select food eeh.
1, 7,15,19,25
ReplyDeletehmmm
ReplyDeletetrying to figure it out.
No 25
DeleteMother will shout come and eat! If you wash your hands,you are wasting water,if you decide to eat like that you are a dirty child. For a long time I just couldn't get it! Lmao everything you do is a problem, #I miss my mum
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha....
ReplyDeleteRotflmao....
Dis jus cracked me up big time.
I jus can't stop laughing, remembering all those things stated above.
Kids are enjoying these days jare.
All of d above is soooooooo TRUE and most happened to me. Lol.
No 10 got me lots of beating from my aunt and uncle.
ReplyDelete18. Being too excited. Ahu ana Asoka gi..
Hehehehhehehehge
DeleteLol
ReplyDeleteMostly all, but 16,17, 18 was not even practised out of fear of being beaten black n blue.
ReplyDeleteall of them o.
ReplyDeleteNos 1, 5, 6, 12, 19, 22 and 24. Especially when my late father will wake you up to go and take your bathe before you go to school.
ReplyDeleteOnce my father goes to take his bathe, i will be praying in my mind for him to spend 2 hours there, so that i can sleep well.
That's a typical naija upbringing.
ReplyDeleteLol 21
ReplyDeleteNumbers,7,10,11,24 & 25
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahaha
Plus chopping beating when u fight with ur elder or younger sibling..not minding 'who first find trouble'
All ooh...Ooh u wan tell me nah sai u don strong abi....u nor dey cry again abi eeh eeh eeh tioa better slap... hahaha
ReplyDeleteI was guilty of num 11, not greeting visitors.
ReplyDeleteI was painfully shy as a kid, whenever there's a visitor, and I barge into the living room not knowing we have a guest, rather than greet the vistor and be on my way, I'd just scurry off like a lil rabbit..lol
And then my mum would go 'come back here, didn't you see so so and so person(s)?
All the while my face would be down, staring at my feet..
And then I'll slowly look up, mutter a greeting and flee..
I was always scolded by my parents for that.
Sometimes, for a punishment, my dad would give me 2 books to read and write out new vocabularies..whew!!
#Childhood#
Hian
DeleteThat kyn punishment
I was equally very shy too.
DeleteInfact, I was timid. Hahahaha
And I was very good in English, both spoken and written(Still is), lol but shyness refused to let me be great. One term, I resumed school only to discover my name was included in the news casting group.
I cried so hard and prayed for instant Rapture...Baba refused to come, even till now. Lol
I was beaten 4 Number 1 nd 15
ReplyDelete6,12,19 for me.. But today I am a better MAN.. Thanj u mama for making me a better Man that most girls wanna date and have .
ReplyDelete6,12,19 for me.. But today I am a better MAN.. Thanj u mama for making me a better Man that most girls wanna date and have .
ReplyDeleteLol. All applied to me infact. Mum was a disciplinarian to the core.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Very funny shah....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
24... My mum beats me for that almost everyday
ReplyDeleteWe were beaten for everything abeg , chaii I thought my mum hates me , popc wasn't always home so no beating Infact he never beat me till this day but mumc will stone you with Eba turner choiiii....
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahaha
ReplyDeleteGoing to a friend's house and she invites u to the table and u say No.and she comes to the sitting room where u are Seated o and drags u to the table.meanwhile she is telling ur dad "Pls don't beat her when u get home o.i am the one that is forcing her to eat. And she keeps telling u "Its ok.ur Daddy won't beat u.i have told him not to.ok?
And u turn o and u see it Dad smiling. And d Angels are telling u to forget that smile o and turn back.but the Devil and ur long throat wants u to eat that food.
Hmmmmmm......when u get home eh.what u wil hear first is "why did you let her force u? D kain punishment u wil get eh.
plus grounding.My dad can like to ground eh.Kai.u politely ask for something,U wil just hear him bellow "No TV for u in this house for 1 week! Instead of him to just say No or not now.
Hahahhahaha Food put me in a lot of trouble while growing up.
Or u are in d car and sleeping.for where?he says its not proper.u must be awake.stay alert.esp when he is not the one driving.
I Told him one time I wanted to leave the Convent and go to a Secondary school and he just looked at me told me to go to my room and write down in a book 50 reasons why I hate Reverend sisters.Ha!
Hehehehhehehehehehehhehehe
DeleteLol @ 'food put me in a lot of trouble while growing up'.I was so scared of reverend sisters eh! Can't say I like 'em, can't say I don't. They are always so stern looking and maybe wicked.I had one for a maths teacher in jss 1,and she really did put the fear of God in me.I still cringe in fear whenever I remember those reverend sisters..lol. Howdy,TGW?
DeleteHahahahah....
DeleteMake I no lie,dose people are mean! Choi!
DeleteBut seriously,jokes apart.some of them look all mean and tough.others soo serious.but they are sweet too.forget the tough exterior.And of course they have d mean one's too.
I am good Northie and hope u are too.
Howdy Tet baby?and our bun?
Well done dear.soon and very soon.
@ Blogbrity,u for carry mat go near d door o.
We are fine hun...thanks for the check up :-)
DeleteWhen my dad took me to school, I will have to recite d multiplication table. I learnt to recite from 2times table to 20 times table. Fail anyone, wahala go start . And do not sleep in the car when dad is taking you to school. The day I slept off, dad spanked me while he was driving
ReplyDeleteWhen my dad took me to school, I will have to recite d multiplication table. I learnt to recite from 2times table to 20 times table. Fail anyone, wahala go start . And do not sleep in the car when dad is taking you to school. The day I slept off, dad spanked me while he was driving
ReplyDelete7,11 and 16. LOL
ReplyDeleteEnd time beating
ReplyDelete21.... Kai,i used to eat very slowly o. My mum wud say,Kedụ ka ịga esi bu ibu ebe ịna atụlụ nni ka nnụnụ?. Meaning...how on earth wud you add weight when you pick yr food like a bird.
ReplyDeleteAgain,before you bring cane,i don dey shout. At the end,no flogging cos my dad wud say i had cried enough.
14 nd 26 lol
ReplyDeleteIm guilty of #25, na so i go dey count how any spoons visitor carry for mouth and praying make them no finish the food. chaiii ojukokoro thinz LMAO
ReplyDeleteHahahaha. Me too
DeleteLmao!
DeleteAs a kid i loved looking at d mouth of people while talking. I don chop plenty abara yet i no gree repent. If mumc dares send me into d room she knows na vexation i go take scatter the room.
DeleteLmao. Or if a visitor gives u money and u don't show ur parents. U now use it to go n buy sweets from Aboki. Chai I did it once and I regret it till date. Too many experiences I've had o.
DeleteOr is it when I was hugging one stupid Emmanuel boy in d compound and we fell on my grandma's crate of drinks, and everyone in the house rushed out thinking that they wanted to steal mamas bottles? See beating. Lol
None of the above. I was a good kid. #shines teeth
ReplyDeleteNone of the above. I was a good kid. #shines teeth
ReplyDeleteMy mom caught me one day in our neighbour's house eating beans n garri. She did not talk to me there o. But wen I got to d house dat day. Is only God dat can really explain what happened to me dat day.
ReplyDeleteMine is not there.
ReplyDeleteI was woken up by my dad 2 eat soup & garri,I moulded d garri & put it in wash hand water & ate.Sleep walk tins.D young don grow
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahahah!!!! Stella you haff killed me. Am so guilty of No 10 and now I beat my kids for not eating fast enough. You just made my day.
ReplyDeleteDarn.. mine is 13... I so much dreaded weekends, cos my dad them after buying all the weekend newspapers the next thing is oya come start reading for me. He will lie on the couch and form sleeping. If u jump a section, he will be like what happened to the headline on page 54. IBB did this or did that... chai I hated weekends.
ReplyDeleteWhen a visitor comes my big sister and I then will be like Thank u Lord at least we can watch small sesame street or danger mouse... Memories..