Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives...

How do you deal with the ex of your present?

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

DEALING WITH HIS EX

Hi Stella,

 I sent in a chronicles before where I said I snooped and found out my boyfriend had another girl. I confronted him and he denied it saying it was his ex and she was in a serious relationship with someone else and that he turned to her for solace when I gave him a hard time. 

He was angry and even cried threatening to break up with me. I felt so bad and I apologised and we became cool again.

Our relationship is perfect now. The issue now is I did a little snooping recently and found out he still chats with her and they still tell each other they love each other. they still call themselves sweet names and he even saved her number In his phone as a sweet name. 

 we are both abroad and she is in Nigeria. recently his sister asked him about his girlfriend and he sent her my picture,am so confused. I trust him on any other thing but I find it difficult when it comes to this girl. I love him dearly and he loves me too or so I think and he is so all over me.

Stella please I need your red pen on this one and fellow bvs please I need your help on how to go about this. Thanks.

One thing came to my mind as i read through...OKAFORS LAW which states that '' A hole once entered,can always be re-entered''

There are two things here,they might not be dating anymore and she might be in a serious relationship (which i doubt)but what they have is s3x waiting to happen.

The second one here is that she is probably now his side chick.he might be all over you and love you but most men do not think with their head or heart,they think with their 3rd leg.

I am not asking you to snoop but keep your eyes 'open' and trust your instincts when it alerts you.dont do another confrontation unless you have enough to argue with.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

WHEN DARLING HUSBAND BECOMES A MONSTER..

Dear Stella,  my husband has turned into a monster.  This afternoon,  he just finished beating me inside the car in broad day light in our area where we are well known. He came out of the car and  tried to open the car to drag me out,  I had to rush to the drivers side before he could get to me. Am writing this in tears now cos this is not the man I married. 

 Only God knows if someone I know saw me and the shame he just brought upon me.  

All this started when he lost his job a year ago.  It started from a mere slap to this.  Stella,  I can't have a full conversation with him anymore cos once he hears something that would trigger his anger,  he would hit me.  No matter where we are,  and he does it more in public and for the most little reasons. Am scared Stella,  he's doing it in front of my son,  I don't want him to grow up seeing this. 

My parents are not aware that he hits me,  no one is aware.  People think we are a sweet couple,  but we are far from sweet.  It's not like we're suffering,  we are not really lacking,  am currently working and he has an investment that's helping us as well.

What do I do?  Should I tell my parents?  He's getting worse everyday,  when he's angry,  I don't recognise him anymore, he's not calm until he hits me.  This is not what I bargained for?  I cannot count how many times he has slapped me in the car. This disgrace is too much.  We've been married for three years now,  this past year has been the worst ever.  What is going on?.  

Is he frustrated?  

Is he Bipolar? 

 Does it happen to others? I mean, their husband changing over night cos of a job loss,  should I report him to my parents? I've informed his family about it before, they did nothing about it. His mother even hates it when we're happy and rejoices when we fight, that's story for another day. What do I do?  

 Stella please use your red pen biko . I can't believe this is happening to me.

You cant believe this is happening to you until he maims or kills you abi?My dear whether he has a job or not,he has no business hitting you.Please go and discuss wth your parents on the way forward..HE HAS GOT TO STOP!!!