Hmmm!!!
NARRATVE NUMBER ONE
DEALING WITH S3XUAL HARRASSMENT IN THE OFFICE DUE TO BIG YANSH
Hello Stella, there is an issue that really bothers me and I'd like to share it with my fellow bvns to know their opinions, suggestions and contributions. It goes thus...
How do people deal with sexual harassment in the office??? I really want to know. My boss says I must inform him when I want to close for the day so I noticed that sometimes, he'd ask for a hug wen he notices no one is in sight. I know its not proper but I don't want to be imagining things that didn't or haven't happened.
Because of this, I like to enter when people are in there but I feel its highly unreasonable to do that, I feel kind of silly when I do that.
Because of this, I like to enter when people are in there but I feel its highly unreasonable to do that, I feel kind of silly when I do that.
Today, no one was in sight but it was almost an hour past my closing time so I decided to go in and inform him as usual. He hugged me and even gave me a peck. As if that was not enough, he asked me to give him a peck. I then voiced out that I can't do it. He didn't complain or ask why, we just talked normally and I breezed out.
But honestly, I'm scared. This is my first job and I'm barely a month there. A week after I started work there, I got another job offer but I declined it not because this is better but because I feel its too early. I hope I haven't made a mistake.
But honestly, I'm scared. This is my first job and I'm barely a month there. A week after I started work there, I got another job offer but I declined it not because this is better but because I feel its too early. I hope I haven't made a mistake.
*P.S* I've got large butts and I know its a contributing factor...How do ladies with big butts cope with worthless advances from men??? Especially when its somebody you have to answer to???
Sorry for the long epistle but I don't know how to mince words on this!
Thanks and God bless y'all.
Off commenting today.
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHEN CONFUSION SETS IN.....
Good day madam Stella, God bless you 4 this great job you're doing, more grace to you ma'am.
I really do not know where this fits into but all I need is suggestions from my fellow BV's who have had similar issues before. It's going to be a long writeup.
I am 26 and i've been dating a guy since march 2014, he is an all in one package, this guy loves me so much, we agreed on a Godly relationship from the start and he's fine with it, it's not been easy being with someone u love but can't be intimate because we do not want to go against God's standard that does not permit fornication.
We planned the wedding 4 last year but somehow my parents delayed everything with the excuse of building our family house in the village where the bride price will be paid and trying to put some things in order, but on our path I and my spouse are prepared because we already bought 80 percent of all we will need 4 d wedding, wen we saw that last year was almost gone and my parents were still not ready, he called my dad and told him he will wait till February and my dad said February is fine, only 4 me to go home last christmas my dad said we should take the wedding to march, I also told them I will like to have the church wedding in port harcourt so that my fiance's family and all my friends in portharcourt can be part of it since I have spent most of my adult age here, I schooled in uniport and have been hustling here since I graduated, but my mum frowned @ the idea that everything is suppose to be done in delta, TM in my village then the white in warri in our family church.
my dad said he doesn't have a problem with us doing our wedding in PH o but my mum was so against it, my dad finally told me not to worry as he was gonna talk to my mum and make her agree peacefully, now we finally chose 26th march for the wedding and I went home during this last valentine to conclude the introduction plans since everything will be coming up within 1month, my parents suddenly told me march isn't ok any more, that let's see how April will be like, Stella I was dumb founded.
I immediately called my fiance and told him, he got very angry that why is my parents treating him this way without consideration, to think that we have paid 4 a 2bedroom apartment since December last year all becos we had February in mind, he has a smaller apartment in his family house where he has been staying but for my sake he is doing so much to make sure we have a comfortable home after wedding now by April 5months rents will be gone already bcos we planned to start staying there after the wedding, my dad also said the traditional marriage will have to be elaborate as i'm his first daughter, my fiance said he will try his best to do it the way they want, now the problem here is that my fiance has exausted his patience and even his famliy are not happy anymore.
I had to quarel with my mum insisting that that the marriage should be done in the house the way it is afterall we ain't going there to stay, now my dad is angry that why should my fiance be complaining that they are delaying the marriage, a small boy that doesn't know anything about marriage bla bla bla, my fiancé says if by April my family still give him excuses he will have no choice than to back out and concentrate on other things for the now, and you won't believe my mum is still insisting on the church wedding in warri.
I came back to ph on Monday, I went straight to his house, I had to beg, pet and persuade him to be patient till April 4 my sake, he agreed finally but told me my parents can't cajole him to have his white wedding in warri, as the only thing that concerns my parents is the traditional marriage, and that since my dad is also insisting on an elaborate one, he has decided to do it then bring me back to ph and have a small court wedding here with not more than 20 guests, but that we will go with our wedding gown and suit to get all the kinds of pictures I want but no reception or any further party. I'v been thinking about it but since my parents are already making things hard, I went home and thought about it all through the night, the next day I went to see him and told him I agree with the new plan, he was so excited and we almost made out 4 the first time ever, he hugged me suddenly started romancing me and was already playing with my boobs I had to push him and he apologised,he also told me that part of the money he budgeted for the wedding he will add up some more to it and buy me a small car for me to be be using as my work-about for my business, am a makeup artist and I move around a lot especially during weekends.
Next week saturday is the intro and we plan to tell our parents we ain't doing the white wedding anymore as we do not have the capacity to host 2 elaborate parties because if he agrees to do the white in warri, it's still gonna be elaborate and na money matter we de talk here so o and there is really no point going broke because we want to please our parents and friends, I want to know what my fellow bv's thinks, is this a nice idea, has anyone done just the traditional and registry wedding before? Do parents really make things this hard for their daughter AND son in law? Thanks to to everyone.
We planned the wedding 4 last year but somehow my parents delayed everything with the excuse of building our family house in the village where the bride price will be paid and trying to put some things in order, but on our path I and my spouse are prepared because we already bought 80 percent of all we will need 4 d wedding, wen we saw that last year was almost gone and my parents were still not ready, he called my dad and told him he will wait till February and my dad said February is fine, only 4 me to go home last christmas my dad said we should take the wedding to march, I also told them I will like to have the church wedding in port harcourt so that my fiance's family and all my friends in portharcourt can be part of it since I have spent most of my adult age here, I schooled in uniport and have been hustling here since I graduated, but my mum frowned @ the idea that everything is suppose to be done in delta, TM in my village then the white in warri in our family church.
my dad said he doesn't have a problem with us doing our wedding in PH o but my mum was so against it, my dad finally told me not to worry as he was gonna talk to my mum and make her agree peacefully, now we finally chose 26th march for the wedding and I went home during this last valentine to conclude the introduction plans since everything will be coming up within 1month, my parents suddenly told me march isn't ok any more, that let's see how April will be like, Stella I was dumb founded.
I immediately called my fiance and told him, he got very angry that why is my parents treating him this way without consideration, to think that we have paid 4 a 2bedroom apartment since December last year all becos we had February in mind, he has a smaller apartment in his family house where he has been staying but for my sake he is doing so much to make sure we have a comfortable home after wedding now by April 5months rents will be gone already bcos we planned to start staying there after the wedding, my dad also said the traditional marriage will have to be elaborate as i'm his first daughter, my fiance said he will try his best to do it the way they want, now the problem here is that my fiance has exausted his patience and even his famliy are not happy anymore.
I had to quarel with my mum insisting that that the marriage should be done in the house the way it is afterall we ain't going there to stay, now my dad is angry that why should my fiance be complaining that they are delaying the marriage, a small boy that doesn't know anything about marriage bla bla bla, my fiancé says if by April my family still give him excuses he will have no choice than to back out and concentrate on other things for the now, and you won't believe my mum is still insisting on the church wedding in warri.
I came back to ph on Monday, I went straight to his house, I had to beg, pet and persuade him to be patient till April 4 my sake, he agreed finally but told me my parents can't cajole him to have his white wedding in warri, as the only thing that concerns my parents is the traditional marriage, and that since my dad is also insisting on an elaborate one, he has decided to do it then bring me back to ph and have a small court wedding here with not more than 20 guests, but that we will go with our wedding gown and suit to get all the kinds of pictures I want but no reception or any further party. I'v been thinking about it but since my parents are already making things hard, I went home and thought about it all through the night, the next day I went to see him and told him I agree with the new plan, he was so excited and we almost made out 4 the first time ever, he hugged me suddenly started romancing me and was already playing with my boobs I had to push him and he apologised,he also told me that part of the money he budgeted for the wedding he will add up some more to it and buy me a small car for me to be be using as my work-about for my business, am a makeup artist and I move around a lot especially during weekends.
Next week saturday is the intro and we plan to tell our parents we ain't doing the white wedding anymore as we do not have the capacity to host 2 elaborate parties because if he agrees to do the white in warri, it's still gonna be elaborate and na money matter we de talk here so o and there is really no point going broke because we want to please our parents and friends, I want to know what my fellow bv's thinks, is this a nice idea, has anyone done just the traditional and registry wedding before? Do parents really make things this hard for their daughter AND son in law? Thanks to to everyone.
Off commenting for today...
Chronicles
ReplyDeleteAnd stella did not post my chronicles why? Is it that you didn't get my mail?
Delete*sad face*
Poster 2: why do I feel ur parents have other plans for u which are yet to mature and that is why they keep shifting the goal post? I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with them. Find out why they keep shifting the date for the wedding? Make e no be say dem dey arrange another person for u o?
DeletePoster 2: why do I feel ur parents have other plans for u which are yet to mature and that is why they keep shifting the goal post? I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with them. Find out why they keep shifting the date for the wedding? Make e no be say dem dey arrange another person for u o?
DeleteMy advise poster 2- is,dont tell your parents your next plan else they will move it to December 2016,allow them have what they want,and after the TM,fiam,you release the bombshell to them cos it seemed your parent either don't like the guy or maybe your mama don't tell peeps say,her daughter wedding go close the whole of warri. People tend to prepare more for wedding than the marriage itself,above all my dear,PRAY
DeletePoster 2 : your plans are perfect. But dont tell your parents about the court yet till after the trad. Make them no change mind
DeletePoster 2: My dear I just got married. I did only court and traditional. Told my hubby to save the money for anything we might need later. Had two wonderful receptions after my weddings and I am beyond happy. You don't need to prove nothing to nobody. With just these two you are married legally and traditionally, in my opinion the traditional was just for show. Save as much as you can now...if your parents want it so bad, they should sponsor it!
DeletePoster 2 please don't let your parents know that you are not doing the white wedding for now,Just pretend and do your Trad marriage first.After then you can let them know your Plans for the white wedding. And yes,some parents make marriage plans very difficult for their children,talking from experience.
DeleteParents can be a pain in the neck when it comes to this marriage thing. Please poster don't tell them about the new plan until you are done with the TRAD so they don't spoil show for you. This why men are not getting married quick just because of this kind of thing
DeleteBiko madam Stella abeg post my chronicle. My wedding is same day with this chic and I'm still here with my confusion. SJ
DeleteP2- tell your mum that you are pregnant and that your guy says that he is no longer interested. I bet you they will call him and beg him to do it however he pleases. Don't forget to cry as you are telling them o.
DeletePoster 2 don't bother mentioning ur latest plans to ur parents, just do the intro n trad, before telling them anything. Sorry to say, ur folks appear vain n materialistic to me, why delay ur marriage bcos they are building in d villa? What is the showing off about? Pls stick to ur latest plan and get the car bcos u need it more and court wedding is more binding.
DeleteAll the decoders stop decoding the posters of the chronicles , nobody asked u to do that. If they want to be known, they will put their real names.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind them! Terrible gossips
DeletePoster 2: I'd advise that you cross your hurdles one at a time. To avoid your parents throwing tantrums about the church wedding, don't tell them your plans till after you're done with the traditional and registry. Pretend to agree with them now, then do what you want to. If they're not funding the ceremony, they cannot force you and your fiancé to afford it now. And Yes, people do only trad and registry. If you're uncomfortable with it however, you and your fiancé can go to church for blessings of your marriage, without the full wedding wahala. If you're Catholic you can do it during morning mass on a weekday sef. Speak to your priest/ pastor about setting it up. Wish you all the best.
DeletePoser 1 do you by any means work in the laboratory department of LASUTH? if yes don't think it's only you that foolish old director does it to. You are not the first and won't be the last. IT students,corpers,staff,cleaners,
DeleteI am waiting for the day someone will write an exposè on him. In the mean time push him off or ask him if you should be telling someone? That worked for me and he backed off. But he is currently making my life hell. I don't mind as far as the baldie knows his boundary.
Chronicles be nice.
ReplyDelete******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS******
Poster 1 there's nothing like 'butts' it's 'butt!!' Jeez!!
DeleteNot all men like big butt. So don't think ya causing any commotion. You will only cause commotion for people who are Randy and want commotion to be caused for them. You sef you went and started hugging him. Indeed it must be your first job because if you have worked in a corporate environment before you will know that you should decline any advancement of sexual harassment from the word 'GO!'
Stella Dimoko Korkus Awarded Blogger Of The Year By Nigeria Writers Awards.
ReplyDeleteThanks to all members of Bvn. You all rock
SHE HAS BEEN NOMINATED AGAIN !!!
City People Social Media Awards Nominates Stella Dimoko Korkus For Blogger/Blog Of The Year Category
Voting ends on February 26,2016.....click http://citypeopleng.com/citypeoplesma2016/ and vote for stella Dimoko korkus (click on her name and make sure you click on vote beneath. Let's do it sdk way
Thank You
Voting ends today
Who is this irritant? Dem send you? Nonsense and ingredients.
Deletehmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteJoblesshousewife
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteposter one i know how you feel. though your story isn't a chronicle though. people like us with "assets" have to suffer like that. i'm now so use to it. sexual harrasment everywhere. not just the office. everywhere i go
ReplyDeleteNot everything is about you. Stop selling yourself cheap nkapi.
DeletePerhaps, there is something about you that unconsciously invites it. I have friends who are stacked and are pretty and intelligent to boot.
DeleteThey are always treated with the highest respect wherever they go even with the admiring glances and both are in thier mid twenties.
Perhaps you should check yourself.
Poster 1, this is not a chronicle please. Lespectikwa onwe gi there.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, your parents are mean. Bye
@first poster,ashana alert
ReplyDeleteWhy didnt you rebuke him when he first started?
You were collecting the hugs and now you yarning opata
What do you want bvs to do now?
Mtcheeew
Poster 2, you already adviced yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster1 you are lucky your boss is interested in your fat shit box. Go give it to daddy mehn.
Hmmmm! Dis chronicles pass me o. May God take control.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwww poster 2 and her fiancé are so in love. I can feel it. All d best dear, just kip praying. Its well wt u two.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,your Boss asked you to hug him And so what? Is that a crime?
ReplyDeleteAre you a Virgin? Man something never enter deep inside your something and pour inside?
Hahahahahaha...
DeleteLwkmd!...
Do u reason at all? U hardly utilize the logical part of ur brain. Ur thinking is so last century.
DeleteThe name "moneymaker" is more interesting than this "James" you are using
DeleteLmao
DeleteJames you are mad.
poster 2: your parents never talk wetin their plan for u be. the guy is even patient. please consider the financial capacity of your man because na you and him go live. if your parents want elaborate wedding,they should provide the cash.
ReplyDeletePoster one: nothing wrong with what you've done. Your boss wants the normal thing from u but stay strong nothing is going to happen.
ReplyDeletePls record ur conversation with him using ur phone and store them as proof. Do a video if possible
DeleteSecond poster your parents are very selfish. Very very selfish people who care more about themselves and how people see them than their daughter's happiness. Yes you can do traditional and registry then have a reception. no biggie
ReplyDelete@Poster 1, please stop hugging or pecking your boss, let him do his worst and avoid been alone with him.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, your parents didn't want you to get married, if care is not taken, you won't finally have an elaborate wedding.
In Yoruba land, both the TM and Church Wedding do take place @ the bride's place, so I don't know much about you people. Finally, be very prayer, may you have a blissful home.
*Larry was here*
What yoruba part are u from? Only the trad is done in the girls place. The white wedding musnt be done in the girl's place. Yorubas that mostly do even their trad in lagos compared to other tribes.
DeleteUkwu, abeg don't let them use you and pass you round o. When those useless ogas see new staff, their eyes would start chucking. Before you know it, your name would be on the notice board as the latest cheerful giver of puna.
ReplyDeleteOffice things, very messy...
@ poster one, you want to loose your job because of stupidity. instead of you to give him a peck and get double promotion.just play along but dont give him sex
ReplyDeleteHoe
Delete@poster 1:
DeleteNope she should not encourage it abeg. Don't give him no fucking damn peck. Na for what nah? Don't mess up your destiny sweetheart. If you got big butt which is your selling point, I pray in that same office God will send your helper/ life partner to take you away from that environment & give you'all better life. Be strong, set boundaries . Don't be alone w him. Start by going home w/out going to his office to tell him. Be strong, be prayerful .
@poster 1:
DeleteNope she should not encourage it abeg. Don't give him no fucking damn peck. Na for what nah? Don't mess up your destiny sweetheart. If you got big butt which is your selling point, I pray in that same office God will send your helper/ life partner to take you away from that environment & give you'all better life. Be strong, set boundaries . Don't be alone w him. Start by going home w/out going to his office to tell him. Be strong, be prayerful .
Bimpe na from clap e dey take enter dance oo
DeleteIf she gives a peck today, tomorrow he will ask for a kiss.
If she can kiss then he will feel she can accept smooching.
After that guess...
Ode. You think that's how they give promotion. If she gives in, she has just set herself up for oppression.
DeleteOponu .......that was how I became a permanent staff at work when an agency send me there. I played the manger and he gave me a permanent shift.
DeleteIt's obvious you don't have a professional job. Na so double promotion dey come? He will just sleep with her and replace her when he gets tired.
DeleteDon't listen to this foolish girl. Once you start you are in it till the end. He once grabbed an IT girl's boobs in the reception and he thought we didn't see him the man makes empty promises. Don't fall for that. He doesn't have such power. Don't let that randy old baldie touch. I have a feeling you're the new staff.won't say your name. Enough said
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteResign if you can't cope..
Hian...
Poster 2,
Are you getting married to your parents or your man?...
Abeg stop all these your good girl warrever and do the things you and your man likes...
Your parents has no right to interfere in your marriage ceremony...
I would advise you go with whatever your man said and ignore your parents!...
Remember it's your marriage we are talking about and not your parents...
Ignore them jare and do it your own way...there time don pass mehn...
Her parents really ***has*** no say. English don suffer.
DeletePoster 1,your Boss asked you to hug him And so what? Is that a crime?
ReplyDeleteAre you a Virgin? Man something never enter deep inside your something and pour inside?
Abegi commot for road make better people pass. OK
Why can't you be brave enough, took the path of honour and resign.
She is waiting for you to help her "took" the path of honour. Ughe!
DeletePoster one can u share ur big butt wt me biko? maybe ur boss will look ur way less. Tanx
ReplyDeletePoster 2, tell your fiance not to do more than he can.
ReplyDeleteTraditional and registry is ok
Poster 1 you're not the first big butt babe in the world.
ReplyDeleteYou are probably giving your boss the wrong signals.
Try dress in ways that wouldn't show off your butt or make it seem all up in people's faces.
I don't know why your boss is always asking for a hug but giving it to him is awkward to me because that's just inappropriate.
What business do you have hugging your boss and indulging him by letting him peck you.
The way you position yourself matters a lot to how people would treat you.
If you want to say goodnight, do it by standing by the door to show you're on your way out and no need for serenre.
Poster 2 oh well if you chase your boo, your parents would marry you then.
I always prefer doing the whole thing. There is nothing wrong with just traditional or registry but doing everything at the same time is good too. And it can be elaborate without been expensive.
Getting a pastor to bless your marriage can be done same day as the registry then a little reception can follow after.
Got mad cramps today, thought I was going to die.
Nice advice for Poster 1.
DeleteThanks for your advice to poster1. Making it look as if big butt is now earthquake that causes commotion. I wonder why we feed ourselves such info.
DeleteIt's her first job sha. If she like make she no tear eye. I'm sure the boss can sense some naivety in her.
DeleteAss is a great asset on a lady, but when it begins to cause traffic, its no longer admirable, most guys would consider you play thing for the sake of experimenting, speaking from a guys perspective. consider ur choice of clothes, not too be too tight & revealing, so you don't atttact the good, bad & ugly, and keep on avoiding being alone wit ur boss & turning down his advances, hopefully he'd see a dead end behind u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- Do the TM in Warri to please your parents and fulfill all righteousness, and if you like you can do a thanksgiving at your parents church the Sunday after. You guys can then do the registry with your close pals in PH. I mostly don't see why a young couple should go broke for elaborate weddings just to please their parent. Good luck with your plans.
ReplyDeleteEm...in essence what re u saying?.pointless!
DeletePoster 2 pls dont tell your parents abt ur plans 4 d white until after d wedding cos if u do,consider d wedding cancelled n ur toto would continue to be hungry.
Mehn...u for tear eye for your parents. Do whatever u ppl can afford. B4 u end up finding it hard to eat after the wedding
ReplyDelete1) Some babes need ur load and you wey get dey complian lmao. When you get to that bridge, God will give u the wisdom to cross it inugo. Ngwa ndo
ReplyDelete2) Ask ur parents some questions why they are delaying u guys... they have a secret they need to tell you.
And you nd ur family should pls hurry before konji will push the young man to go and cheat now. He had really tried for you oo
Goodluck to you both!
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteIf ur boss is not married,u try and have a relationship with him u never can tell....
Poster2
I only did traditional and registry marriage
So it's allowed
When u are ready,u do the church wedding or marriage blessing.
The Most important thing is for ur bride price to be paid.
Good luck
Hoeamanda
DeletePoster 1- don't answer her oh! If your boss likes you and he's a single guy he will present his case in a more honorable manner by asking you out to dinner. The bible says 'love is patient'. He won't start saying 'hug me' 'peck me' that man is an abuser and you're giving him green light.
DeleteBia chikito na so ur nyash dry? Y body de pepper u 4 big butt matter
DeleteP1: okay, I have not been a victim a office sexual harassment bt I have got a big butt too and for a slim lady, pple always say all sort of things wen I walk by. Some I immediately frown at and outrightly shawn. Others I merely laff at. Bt this is ur boss here and ur relationship with him should b strictly professional, I suggest u tell him that you dont like it and u wnt him to stop it. Dont cower about it say wot u mean n mean wot u say.
ReplyDeleteP2: I tink you should speak with your mum, ask her what the problem is. You dont have a problem with the house the way it is and ur husband dont too, tell them and if they dont see reason with you then you guys can have ur trad first and whenever you can then u have the white wedding. I wish a HML in advance.
Poster 1 :
ReplyDeleteWisdom is profitable to direct.
I don't habe a big bum bum like that sha...lol but I know you should make your stance clear.
That man is interested in you.
Avoid him and let him know you're not interested in having an affair with him
You don't have to discuss but whenever he tries to touch you, keep a staright face , move away and tell him you don't want to annoy yoir father.
I pray it all turns out well.
If he insists and says he would sack you , God would give you a faaaar better job.
God's grace nne
Poster 2 : kudos. I am happy you're in a godly relationship.
Nne , your story long sha but I pray you handle it well.
Just be careful and handle your parents with wisdom and love.
And don't turn your husband against them biko.
I added wisdom for your parents because I don't want a situation where they feel left out or disrespected.
Wish you the best darling
Happy married life
Nice advice to poster 2.. apply wisdom.. They are still ur parents.. but he's going to be ur husband soo u shudnt let him slip off ur hands due to ur parents.. both parties are important to u.. as long as u do ur traditional marriage in ur home town.. I think a court marriage is okay any where.. ur parents won't feed u when u enter ur husband's house oo.. Sooo ur decision is right too.. but make sure ur parents agree to ur own decision.. it's ur wedding not theirs.. jst apply wisdom in it though.. Goodluck.
DeleteP2,ur fiance really loves u. Stop allowing ur family control u. Its going to be u and ur hubby till death do u part. So plan ur wedding the way u want. Wish u d best.
ReplyDeleteP1. Look for a better job and quietly leave. U didn't inform us if u or ur boss is married? But anyway office romance isn't always d best.
Off to make ukwa.
What ever suits u pple,at Times our parents r very inconsiderate..
ReplyDeleteFirst chronicle, you already mixed your job with pleasure and too much respect. Why will you start giving your boss a hug in the first instance. I don't want to believe you are one of those who believes their bodies are their weapon.
ReplyDeleteThe first day your boss asked you for a hug you were supposed to say " no sir, I cannot do that because it's against work place ethics" you started giving him the green light by giving hug. Who hugs the boss? Damn!
It's better you control yourself because you sound loose and it quite obvious you don't have self respect. If you want to last tgere, carry yourself higher than you are. My people used to say that when handshake exceed the elbow it has become an insult. Your ass reach my own and I have never been sexually harassed by men since I became an adult.
Chronicle two you sound smart. You can handle your parents. Parental interference in marriage is a big problem.
Thank you oh jare
DeleteMe I don't have big butt. I'm very petite. But a bit busty sha.... Yet in all the offices I have worked, they just chase me. So it's not a big butt something, it's just randy men.
DeleteAnd I handle them wells. There was one who liked tall, fair and curvy chicks. Almost All the girls in the office were like they were from the same mother cos him dey gbensh all. I'm petite, fair and slim. So what he saw that made him start chasing me I don't know. I was certain I wasn't his speck. by the time I show am say small no be sick ehn?????... Anyhoo, our court case is still pending.
Why are you so judgemental gosh.
DeleteSome people just don't know how to say no. You just had to attack the poster in your usual style. Growing a heart.
N2, my cousin did trad marriage in an elaborate way, did court marriage n just went to church for marriage blessings. What matters most Is d certificates not how much u spent. Abeg consider after marriage bc that's where u should be concerned abt not d wedding ceremonies. If u go broke after marriage, dt same parents of urs will be d one to insult u again for marrying a broke ass guy. Just flow with ur guy n leave ur mum.
ReplyDeletelet me read comments...since i didnt do any wedding due to my parent uncompleted house, i wouldnt want my partners family to see how poor my parent are. so i didnt do any wedding ,visa came bought myticket off i go...now in uk with lovely children.
ReplyDeleteI hate fake people like you...
DeleteHehehehehehehe.. how do u knw she's fake?
DeleteThat's a 1st even for u madam bus! Or u thought bin 'fake' is a reserved attribute for u alone? Sorry ma'am...learn to share!
Delete*Ghanaman signing out*
Hope ur stay in the UK is useful to ur parents tho cos ur type can be very self centered. Better upgrade ur parents by completing that house.
DeleteQueen of this blog is jealous that I'm in London while she's in Abakaliki doing phone call business behind a shed calling me fake.
DeletePoster 2.
ReplyDeleteOMG!
U talk too much. See epistle on top of nothing. U want write a book about how your parents are delaying ur marriage?
The bitter truth is that your boyfriend is a broke ass guy. Every parents worst nightmare. I don't blame them.
Where did you crawl out from? Animal kingdom?
Delete@Poster 2. What an Elder see sitting down a younger person will not see it even when they are standing up. Your parent may be partially wrong, but the case of two elaborate wedding am not buying it. Like your fiancée said what is the point going broke just to please people. My dear I did an elaborate wedding to please people and when we were drinking garri it's the same people we try to please that were laughing and calling us all sort of names.
ReplyDeleteYour day of Joy is closer, April is around the corner, do it with pride and Joy, don't be overwhelmed by sexual pleasure and temptations.
Happy married life in arrears.
I love the way you both understand each other. An excellent idea it is.
ReplyDeleteHappy married life in advance
Poster 1 just continue avoiding him till you get a better job
Poster 1. Sew ur big ynash together and stay by d side of d door to pop ur head and tell him goodnight. U started it by going into his office. U have to end it without being rude.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. My brother did traditional and white wedding together
White wedding first before d traditional. But make sure you have paid d bride price a day before.
Don't let ur family destroy ur happiness
Goodluck
She's a jjc, ahe hasn't worked before else she would know.
DeleteNa wettin I dey face for my office. Mine is from a Co worker.he is always staring at me lustfully and any time he talks to me he is always looking at my breast cause I'm busty. I've told him it makes me uncomfortable but it's like it encourages him the more.I'm planning to report him once he steps out of bound. For now it's just the lustful lingering stares.but I'm scared he might want to take it further.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,some men can be so carried away by body parts, just try and start looking for another job since it's ur boss,he will not stop except through God's intervention.
Poster 2, ur parents have issues,it's like they don't want u to marry. Pls b prayerful. They are behaving so nonchalant and insensitive. And u sef u are just to eager to please ur bf who is not yet ur hubby. Plus do the white wedding, make it small,like 50 people. U sound desperate and u are over opening ur family's yansh to him,he will definitely dread them when he marries u.I know it's usually d brides family that dictates where the wedding should hold,but I heard Ibo men insist white must b in their place, but ours is not like that.if he is Ibo then ur parents should bend
I don't understand when people say make it small, like 50 people.
DeleteWill they have to hire bouncers to send back uninvited guests?
I beg to disagree, her parents aren't opposed to her getting married, it's the guy they don't want. Delay tactics are employed to frustrate him away so she can marry someone else. They probably don't like his tribe, background, character or financial status. Most times, when it's the right person, everyone is happy even if he is still hustling. My opinion...
DeleteNo brainer @ narratives 1 & 2 #Yawning
ReplyDeleteposter one na prayers you need o, you have to be smart and calm in handling this issue, I always pray never to have issues with any Oga. pls becareful so that you don't lose your job.
ReplyDeleteposter two your parents are not serious at all, is it cos they saw a person that want to marry their daughter that is why they are acting this way, they want your future hubby to finish his money cos he want to marry you. my dear if by April your parent are still talking stories is better you forget about them and marry your guy o, time wait for no one and more over the guy has been patient enough but don't think he can love you till he dies cos he wanna marry you, your parents conditions is too much, talk to your pastors, elders in your both churches am sure some one need to talk sense into your parent's head. above all you need prayers and wisdom, don't worry all will be well.
Poster 1. You have to use wisdom when dealing with that Boss of yours. I have worked for a long time and no Boss, has asked me for a hug. That is not right and l am glad you stood your ground. Find out if the other offer is still available and bolt from there because that Man will not stop. He is a pervert and has been preying on his new hires. Stand your ground. Good luck!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Without mincing words, l will say your parents are playing games. You are lucky to have a good Man because a lot of others would have walked. You and your Man need to get closer than ever and stand by the decision you have made. This is undue interference which makes no sense. Na bad belle de worry dem or what? Is there someone they would rather you end up with or what? Well, good luck and please do come back and tell us how it all went after the wedding, etc.
@P2: if na me be ur man, I for don waka like Oliseh since! And if u don't force ur way with ur parents, beta prepare for a botched marriage!
ReplyDelete@P2: I need to take a peek at ur yansh to properly evaluate the situation & advise u accordingly!
I get distracted by big yansh too. So cut ur boss some slack. Just act professionally.
*Ghanaman signing out*
I could never have worked in Nigeria.. I intern-ed at the Nigerian embassy here for a bit, gosh even the ambassador wanted me as a dish... Gosh thank God for home training I don't know what I would have become cus the dollars they dash u for just bn hot is unreal.
DeleteP1:Big butt or no, nothing, absolutely nothing gives anyone the right to touch u any how.
DeleteI also hope u don't wear suggestive clothes that accentuates ur body d more bc it will b passing d wrong message to ur boss.
If u are not happy with how ur boss is treating u, speak up! He is ur boss, yes, but nothing gives him d right to sexually harass u... Unless u care more abt losing ur job than ur boss sleeping wd u.
If u know ur worth, u won't take that rubbish.
P2: Babe, some parents are that complicated and petty.
Now this is ur wedding not ur parents, u pple shld work according to ur budget.
All u need do is let ur parents know, in all humility, that this is how u want ur wedding to be and why.
If they still insist on an elaborate one, let them feel free to sponsor ur wedding.
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com.ng
Poster 1 and u had to partly "blame" he butts for ur boss's gross foolishness? Like seriously?
ReplyDeleteBiko nne know ur right and stand by it.next time u look him in d eye and say No.and dat u Dont Like it.
Poster 2,tell ur parents from me
"Hello Meddlers!
Stay dere and don't take charge.
Inukwa!
Dear do the court wedding with the elaborate trad after all what matters is the marriage n not the ceremony. Your parent is really making things difficult but you guys should bear with them n exercise little patience, its just a matter of time and most of all, thank God u got a good man.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 stick to that job n who knows, the next may be worst than this. Try to avoid being jovial with him, no smiles, laughs, jist or whatever. Try every possible means to continuosly avoid the perv, I pray you survive.
Off commenting today!
ReplyDeletePoster one..
ReplyDeleteWell.. you got a big junk(behind)..no offence.
Try wearing clothes that wont mk it so obvious.
Then from on monday morning.
Start sharing tracts (christian tracts)
After sharing it..insist on having a word of prayers with him.
Is he married? Always send regards to his wife and kids.. this would work effectively if he's a christian (am assuming you are too)...if you are muslims...well..am a christian. So thats a lil murky terrain... (no religious pun intended)
Poster two
You are on the righr track
Your folks are been unreasonable (no offence)
I would do exactly what you and boo are bout to do.
Happy nuptials.
Lol @ ur advice for poster one.
DeleteI like.
Off Commenting Today!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2 do what u can afford don't let your parents put you and ur hubby in debt, there is life after marriage and lastly pray against any confusion and delay.
ReplyDelete@p1 I feel you, story of my life, the only difference is I'm overseas and sexual harassment is big here so I'm protected no boss can try that, however, before I got married every man just wanted to tap some thank God DH came in time I may have turned runz girl by accident... Lol
ReplyDeleteYes I think it is a good idea. It's not worth spending all your money on a lavish wedding then after be broke.
ReplyDeleteBut I would advise you to try to get your parents on board. Beg them cry and do as if you want to die if they don't agree. Do NOT antagonise them. You do not want to go into marriage with a rift between you and your family. Act as a bridge between your fiancee and your parents
Poster 2 some mothers can be very difficult to please, u just pray hard n see things fall into place, but I think your mum is delaying to see if another richer guy 'll come. Lol no mind her.
ReplyDeletePoster1 stop hugging him before something else comes out of it, but in all be courteous n well mannered
I don't believe in borrowing in order to finance a wedding bcos life after wedding is wat matters. Pls cut ur coat according to your cloak in order to prevent issue of debt in your new home.HML in advance
ReplyDeletePoster 2; I really do not get why your parents are shifting the wedding. Your fiance is really a great guy, do not let your parents spoil what you have. As for putting off the church wedding... I wish you guys will still do a church marriage, abi will you invite your church pastor to come and bless the traditional wedding. I believe the whole purpose of a church wedding is the Christian blessing and maybe the pictures.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I agree with you and your bobo. Your parent wan chop mugu on top your hubby head. How do they expect you all to survive after dual elaborate weddings? Na wa for our parents o. They can sabi jabo sometimes
P1, get a yansh reduction surgery..
ReplyDeleteposter 2. Pele. My advice to you. Do not tell your parents of your plan to do the white wedding in Ph or that you want to make it small. Just allow them have their way for your traditional marriage and after that, tell them of your plans. THEY WILL ONLY SHOUT AND SCREAM. I wish you well.
ReplyDeletebella d chemist
That hug is not innocent at all.
ReplyDeleteThis is how they start with their meaty,sweaty paws... you must say no and not give mixed signals.
Make sure you know your work very well,make yourself indispensable and always look smart and corporate.
I don't think he will want to threaten or get rid of you when you know your onions.
Poster two
Take a stand. Let your parents know how you and your man feel. It is your wedding
Poster 1: Be firm, if you got your job on merit.......pray to God and calmly discuss with your boss that you are not comfortable with the hugs and peck......you need to make it stop now. He might dislike you and threaten your job, but you will be doing the right thing. Keep the relationship professional. That going to say bye to him is dangerous.....call me paranoid....but he could rape you if no one is around. Be careful and let someone you trust know about what is happening and have a plan B incase. I hate how girls with big butts are nearly objectified. May God be our strength.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Keep playing around with your parents till you lose your husband. Haba, your Mum wants to show off in her church, that's all. The economic realities is not making it easy for marriages.....sonplease, don't drain yourselves for your parent's dream.....coz that's what it is. It is your wedding!!.......Woman up, as this is the first test. You are streasing your fiance and pissing off your in-laws, you need to start your marriage with lots of goodwill. You know your parents, blackmail them if you have to, conserve your moneynas much as possible. It makes no sense having a lavish wedding and starving in marriage. Seek God, work with wisdom, spend sensibly. TM's are lavish enough for their ego......do that intimate white/court wedding and get your car. Nigeria is hot!
I am also off commenting today.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 lf your parent want an elaborate wedding, they should also contribute their quota to make it successful.
ReplyDeleteElaborate wedding ain't always from the couples alone nowadays family contribute to make it so.
And you should learn to put your foot down and make some decisions of you own. Whats up with my parents said, my parent said, upandan.
I hope they don't end up destroying ur marriage with this ur inability of having your own say.
Poster 2, please dont tell your parents about your white wedding plans yet so that they dont scatter everything for you. Just go ahead with the intro and the engagement peacefully as planned. Afterall after engagement you are no more under them then you and your husband can go ahead with your plans. i wish u all the best.
ReplyDeleteposter 1,you need to find a way to subtly pass a message to your boss so that he would know you are not interested else he would rape u someday
You are lucky. If it were me, I would have allowed your dad marry you himself... What nonsense. So your parents cant even threat the young man with a little respect? yes I am based in PH too. With the amount of fine and loose girls on the street of PH, you better open your eyes, correct your parents and act like a matured woman before you regret it.
ReplyDelete-Dodoz
P1, your boss is stating to clap and from there enter dance. P2, you better call all the elders in your community to talk to your parents this ain't funny at all.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,am off commenting like stella
ReplyDeleteI did traditional nd registry but der was reception dough.. bt some people do registry in d morning, den come home nd dress for d trad nd den feed everybody at once..
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you need to pray seriously. The devil want to use your parent to truncate your joy. There is nothing wrong in the type of wedding you and your fiance have chosen. But you need your parents support. It's a good decision you took to stay away from pre-marital sex,the two of you should join faith and pray very well before presenting your new decision to your parent. If possible add fasting and see God go ahead of you.
ReplyDeleteVery patient guy...you made the right decision girl....don't spend all your money for your wedding,then drink garri later.plan well!
ReplyDeletePoster1# take a stand nd say no to hugs or pecks or wateva frm ur boss. U can even give him tracts inviting him to church programmes sef.let him know u're a christian in words nd deeds nd he wud flee.if he threatens ur work,take him to God in prayer. No job is enough to trade one's virtue.
ReplyDeletePoster2# ur parents are somethin else.left to me alone,my folks n close friends nd family wud be the only ones attending my weddding. I dnt like crowds. A small affair wud be nice. Do the traditional marriage first before disclosing ur plans to them. Wish u the best dear.
@ poster 1, stop leading ur boss on, u dancing to his tone means u will dance eventually wen d real drum starts beating..
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - use your tongue to count your teeth.
ReplyDelete2- some parents are like that, Pele. My advice, do as you have planned if your parents agree oooo. Its a nice one cos once dowry has been paid - Finish.But I doubt your parents will accept such being the first girl. I really feel for you guys.
My advise poster 2- is,dont tell your parents your next plan else they will move it to December 2016,allow them have what they want,and after the TM,fiam,you release the bombshell to them cos it seemed your parent either don't like the guy or maybe your mama don't tell peeps say,her daughter wedding go close the whole of warri. People tend to prepare more for wedding than the marriage itself,above all my dear,PRAY
ReplyDeleteYr momma is mean. She controlling ur dad too but you are bonded by the law of nature to be submissive to the. B4 u tie the knot. They are your small God. Have been that road smh so my dear I know just how the shoe fits. Just pretend to go on with them nd beg ur fiancé to allow them exercise their last right in a way that would nt jeopadise your finances. I wish u all the best. The wisdom and patience to go about it God will give u above all pray for a change of mind for ur parents
ReplyDelete#1- You have to talk to him but ask God for wisdom, tell him that you're not the kinda person and you do not wanna ruin your life in engaging in such. Tell him that if he continues like this, he'll lack respect thereby incuring God's wrath upon his kids in the future. Stand on your ground and tell him the bitter truth unless you want it which doesn't have any gain, my dear do not block your blessing by giving in.
ReplyDeleteStart looking for another job in case. A friend of mine once told me that her boss was acting funny sometimes 2014, one day, the man held her hand as she was about dropping something on his table, she gave him one wicked look and he withdrew it, she didn't stop, that was when she summoned courage to tell the man that he will loose his respect if he continues like this, and it might even bring his downfall, immediately the boss begged her and even gave her N50K not to tell anyone about it.
My dear set yr priorities fast and stand on your ground. Tell him to look elsewhere while you change your dress sense.
#2- Devil is a liar. My dear start praying fast o because the Devil is trying to use your parents against your happiness. If they try to postpone it again, just go and do your Court marriage like the way my sis did her b4 bride price. All the best and do not forget to pray.
Poster one, big Nyash is not the problem biko. Ask God to help turn away your boss's attention from you. DO all you can to avoid him and always record the conversation so you can blackmail him if he tries to take your job away from you.
ReplyDeletePoster two, Please ignore your parent. Stand on your right; tell them it is all about you and not them. If they insist on frustrating you, frustrate them back by taking in then they will sit up. Some parent can be so problematic ehn!
Poster 1: get your head examined fast. Why should you give him a hug? Is he Santa? Mtchewww.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: just do your trad and after that, tell your parents you guys don't av money 4 church wedding. If they want church wedding, tell them to sponsor it. That's all. Elaborate wedding indeed
At poster 2,don't let your mum push you oh, she won't be there to suffer with you.as far as I'm concerned, you and your fiance is doing the right thing.I tell you, alot of peeps spend money unnecessarily , I mean it's ok if you have got too much money but when you're managing it's absolute rubish, I did my trad and registry and the white wedding money was used to get me a nice car, my first car, it saved me alot of stress, a friend of mine did same and hubby got her a car too. Funny enough, there are many friends I know too that did elaborate wedding and they are still treaking till now while I have a to drive my kids around our daily activities.
ReplyDeleteStella did I send dis mail to u abi na my photo copy send am? Mhen I can't just understand why my boss keeps doing dat . i got dis second job barely three weeks ago, during the training i was asked to board with him. He was quite calm and patient with me. He taught me so fast dat within few dats i was given a system to attend to customer. But during dos days of boarding with him he will always tell me i look sweet, i smell nice, my make up is great bla bla bla i tot he was just being nice oooh.he now sends me love SMS and cals me baby in front of my colleagues. He buys me lunch and snacks always. I am running two jobs to cater for my family I don't want any sexual harrasment to make me leave dis job, as am typing dis dude eyes is fixed on me. Biko wat do I do? As it is am getting so uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteWell.. Try to draw the line
DeleteIf not, it'll get worse
Poster 2, next time your boss asks you to hug or give him a peck look him straight in the eye and tell him no.
ReplyDeleteHe is taking advantage of you cos he senses or knows you are naive.
Next time tell him no, that you've thought about it and you feel it's wrong. In fact apologize for all the other times you've done that.
When going home, skip once without telling him and see his reaction, Otherwise, in no time he is going to be asking you to sleep with him. Eventually that is what it will get to. Be wise and act bold and strong so he doesn't abuse the privilege.
@steffysofynsoftly, stop allowing him buy you lunch etc. Except if you are ready to go out with him. If calls you baby in front of your colleagues don't smile. In fact if you can, tell him to stop.
ReplyDeleteAnd as per paying you compliments, tell him you appreciate it but pls you will like him to stop. Otherwise, the pleasantries will go beyond the elbow. If you get my drift.
Tanx lady T
ReplyDeleteP1-stop giving him any hug or any peck. Nonsense. The guy is taking advantage of you and he knows it. You are not the first and you wont be the last. What kind of morals do you have anyway, allowing him to hug you?. Is it part of the job?. Next time he says you should hug him just be firm and polite. Say No sir. I feel uncomfortable with it. Even if he shows he doesn't like your refusal, within him quietly his respect for you will rise. Instead of allowing him play with your body- for what? Sexual harassment occurs everywhere, in the office, in school, everywhere. Men take advantage of women everywhere, big butt or no. Put a value on yourself girl. Its your first job. You have to set your standards.
ReplyDeleteP2- My son surprised us all by going to get married in the registry quietly when his brides family began to prove difficult. sometimes we parents can be selfish when it comes to our children getting married. We forget how it was for us too. I don't see anything wrong in your plan. The Lord bless your marriage with happiness.
Dear bvs,
ReplyDeleteAm in dire need of financial help pls. I am running a
master's (MSC) programme in uniport. I have completed
my course work, and have completed my project (thesis) too.
Most of my course mates have defended their projects,
but I haven't. Reason being I am unable to pay my
school fees and as a result, they won't even allow me
submit the project. bvs, I have come a long way with
this. I didn't fail any course and no outstanding carry
over. The session is ending in a week's time or two, which is
barely 2 weeks away, after which the next session
would mean paying the present school fees and another
for the news session. And there is also a time frame
expected of one to complete the masters' programme.
Pls BVs I need your help(s). The
school fees is #105,000, defence fee is #50,000 which
receipts will be tendered at submission of ur project.
Total is 155,000. Pls I beg u all in the name of Jesus
Christ to help me out pls. I have gone to family and
friends and no one could. (Pls I am willing to aid anyone willing to verify to ascertain the authenticity of
this information). Pls bvs, I don't want to loose this
program. Help me sort dis out. My
contact is 08182597337. Even if its on a loan bases
please I don't mind.
NB. Am in need of a job too. Thank you all and God
bless you.
Though madam Stella warned I would be cursed out,but I have tried every person possible and I couldn't raise it, that's why am posting this please...
Poster 1, you have received plenty slund advice here. Better act and don't be shy or afraid about it.
ReplyDeleteWeasel
Poster 1, Nigeria is a weird place to work in. Do not for any reason condone or encourage harassment; that means no unnecessary contact with male employees. No inappropriate dressing or behavior. You have to do your part to discourage it and insist on people respecting your personal space.
ReplyDelete