In the documentary film "Triumph of the nerds"( which is a 1996 British/American television documentary, produced by John Gau Productions and Oregon Public Broadcasting for Channel 4 and PBS. It explores the development of the personal computer in the United States from WWII to 1995.
(You can google it), the late Steve Jobs of Apple once said:
"The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. I don't mean that in a small way. I mean that in a big way, in the sense that they don't think of original ideas and they don't bring much culture into their products. I have no problem with their success –– they've earned their success ... for the most part. I have a problem with the fact that they just make really third-rate products."
Jobs realizing that what he said was offensive after the documentary was televised, decided to call Bill Gate to apologize thus:
"...I believe every word of what I'd said but...I never should have said it in public."
Was Steve Jobs' apology above to Bill Gate sincere or was it insincere and offensive? Actually, that his apology got me thinking and to ask: when is an apology, whether made in private or in public, real or fake?
How can we identify an authentic or real apology made in humility from an apology coated in arrogance and pride? These were the questions running in my mind when I hear similar apologies like:
"I'm really sorry that you got hurt by what I said."
"Well, I'm sorry you are upset."
"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? Fine, I'm sorry!"
"I'm sorry for what I said, I know it hurt you but I was just trying to be honest"
"I'm sorry, Now stop sulking."
Insincere apology happens when you apologize for the effect that your action caused, instead of apologizing for what you did. By apologizing for the effects, you put the ultimate blame on the receiver rather than accepting the blame of your action. An insincere apology is often a grammatical thing. For instance:
1. "I'm sorry If I..."(here you are disputing whether the said offense really happened. Here the offense is hypothetical for you)
2. "I'm sorry that you..."(here instead of owning up to your offense, you are insulting the person's personality)
3. "I'm sorry, but..."(here you are justifying your offense)
But below are the five components of an effective and sincere apology:
1. Acknowledgement of wrongdoing
2. Acceptance of remorse
3. Admission of responsibility
4. Making amends or offer of compensation
5. The promise that it won't happen again
God bless your day.
Pastor Cy
Ok
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Okay
DeleteLinda Ikeji's apology is an example of insincere apology. Full of arrogance and pride. No remorse
DeleteLolllllll Potable Viv done quickly change picture based on the advise of a passer by. Lollllllll
DeleteMashed beans na mashed beans weather you put am for floor or inside toilet. Na one one word you dey type now? You dey fear to gbagaun? Carry go jor!
In my own opinion, I believe Linda Ikeji apology was more insulting than her rant. Just because she has money doesn't mean she can buy people over. I hated the part that she said that "She will double her gift and also take her fs to Dubai". Really???The money has gotten to her head and is a matter of time before her time is up. Nothing in life last forever, She really need to be given an humble pie to eat with all her stupid arrogancy. The best thing would have been for her to Apologize and move on. Just because you have money doesn't mean you can rub it on people. Some of us are comfortable and fly first class like you and doesn't need your insulting money but a sincere heartfelt apology for acting like a baby just because you have some change which can be taking away in a second. GOD giveth and it can take it all away in a second. I GUESS IS TRUE THAT YOU CAN TAKE SOMEONE OUT IF A SITUATION BUT THE SUTUATION SOMETIMES STICK WITH THEM. Please take your money to buy AN HUMBLE PIE AND NOT A BIRKIN BAG. You are nothing but a Arrogant, Supeeficial, Vain and shallow minded and is a matter of time before no one bothers to come on your blog. I'm all your someone being successful through hardwork but I'm not for someone acting like they are God just because they are rich. #growup
DeleteIn my own opinion, I believe Linda Ikeji apology was more insulting than her rant. Just because she has money doesn't mean she can buy people over. I hated the part that she said that "She will double her gift and also take her fs to Dubai". Really???The money has gotten to her head and is a matter of time before her time is up. Nothing in life last forever, She really need to be given an humble pie to eat with all her stupid arrogancy. The best thing would have been for her to Apologize and move on. Just because you have money doesn't mean you can rub it on people. Some of us are comfortable and fly first class like you and doesn't need your insulting money but a sincere heartfelt apology for acting like a baby just because you have some change which can be taking away in a second. GOD giveth and it can take it all away in a second. I GUESS IS TRUE THAT YOU CAN TAKE SOMEONE OUT IF A SITUATION BUT THE SUTUATION SOMETIMES STICK WITH THEM. Please take your money to buy AN HUMBLE PIE AND NOT A BIRKIN BAG. You are nothing but a Arrogant, Supeeficial, Vain and shallow minded and is a matter of time before no one bothers to come on your blog. I'm all your someone being successful through hardwork but I'm not for someone acting like they are God just because they are rich. #growup
DeleteMashed beans or not, She's cute! Even cuter with the mashed beans face.
DeleteCan you compare this face to that of the horse and kpomo of this blog?
OK so I was lost for a minute after reading the above anonymous about linda. So I went in search of the said 'apology' made by her. And what do I think about it ? Balderdash.
DeleteAt the risk of sounding a "hater" or whatever y'all call it when people speak their minds on issues, esp when it has to do with Linda.. I must say that this lady needs a lot of tutoring. I pray and hope for her sake that she never goes down. I pray she stays atop, but with that attitude of hers? I don't think so
Underlying arrogance is what I read in her closing remarks. Why does she have to consistently hammer on ladies who she thinks survive with monies from their parents or boy friends? Is it any ones' fault that you were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth?
OK, those girls who open their legs for monies, of course I resent them too.. but must that always be your strongest point of argument to convince people when reaching out to those that u want to help? Does linda ikeji understand something called GRACE?? Has she heard about FAVOUR? Oh my.
Does she think that it was her 'hardwork" that put her where she is.. I mean... ONLY her hardwork? Nah. There are so many who work harder than her but cannot afford a meal.. it's becos they haven't found GRACE and FAVOUR yet.
Linda, I swear to God that your "wealth" did not arrive because you started blogging. You made it because God decided to make you feed like an elephant while u worked like an ant. Meaning, little work big money. It is simply GRACE and nothing more.
Are you richer than Uche of Bella naija? Are you richer than Seun of naira land? No u aren't. It is just that the aforementioned people have priorities, and as such, expend their wealth into places that matter most to them. And of course without publicity. Let me clear your doubt lady... you are not rich in the true sense of material things. Am I hating? No way. I'm telling you the fact.
let me annoy some people a little further by asking, are you sure you are richer than ME sisi eko?? Ah ah joker right? No I'm not joking. Let me drop a little hint..nah forget it, changed my mind. But anyway, I thank God that this is the Internet where no one knows me and won't say that I'm bragging. I'm happy I can tell the TRUTH here because I know linda but she doesn't know me. She has given the public an insight to what her wealth is, so.. I humbly say that linda is not richer than some of us. Grace found so many people before you linda, and that grace is quite sustaining if u don't push your luck.
I'm afraid that what linda thinks is her well of wealth may soon dry up if she keeps glorifying and giving credit to her "hustle' instead of God who decided to remove her from abject poverty. Do her parents read her gloats at all? Do they speak wisdom into her brain? Do they...?
Kai.. I want to say so much about this... I pray that God doesn't humble this girl soon. Her apology was nothing short of spiteful to those who beg for her bread. God forbid!! Look at how she was gloating, saying they should organize to meet her at one arena and she'll increase the monies she wants to give, just because they now understand how much she paid for a fake bag? In her mind she's pacifying her fans and redeeming her crushed arrogant image? Oh Linda Linda.. let me just stop before I begin to type nonsense.
OK.
ReplyDeleteStella you just had to use style to bash Linda Ikeji's apology. I don't know how your husband lives with you, you're such a bitter, petty and corny woman. Tufiakwa!
DeleteBless u anon 10.57. The sad thing is that she has to be be such a hypocrite about it. Leave that woman be, u can never have half as much as she does if u keep 'waylaying' her. Dey der dey hate
DeleteI swear. So obsessed with everything linda
Delete@Anonymous so what are u doing on Stella's blog then? Abeg comot here.
Delete@Anonymous so what are u doing on Stella's blog then? Abeg comot here.
Delete@Anonymous so what are u doing on Stella's blog then? Abeg comot here.
DeleteHarsh words. How do you live with yourself
DeleteI hate it when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and keep saying sorry all the time.it provokes me.im not even a fan of apologies.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
DeleteAppology
ReplyDeletei hear "No Vex" is diffrent from "I'm sorry"......
ReplyDeleteYes.
DeleteOne is Pidgin.
One is English.
Kudos anon for dis epic rep
DeleteSo on point.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteShade
ReplyDeleteYes oooo. Real shade to Linda Ikeji's apology
DeleteHmmmmmn. Is this post a coincidence?
ReplyDeleteMake I kuku rest my case.
I tell u the matter Taya me make I go about my business jare.
DeleteChange is here
ReplyDeleteQuite true.
ReplyDeleteBut, Quick question dear poster.
Does this have to do with "birkingate" apology?
Saying am sorry can change a whole lot of things but most people have so much pride in them that they can't even bring themselves to say am sorry when they offend people
ReplyDeleteWhile some people feel saying sorry is a sign of weakness
Delete1)I'm sorry I hurt you.
ReplyDelete2) I have reflected over things and now know I am wrong
3)i admit I should have known better.
4)I promise to always pay attention every single time.
Ok,but what if you don't know what you did? Or it is not solely your fault?
Thanks pastor.
I don't even know how to say sorry even if I am wrong. I can just say it grudgingly. OK sorry.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, lessons learnt
ReplyDeleteLol stella. Ur indirectly snubbing lindas fake apology on insta. Y dont u memo her? Ur so good at memoing others and not caring what they think. Take linda head on. Not like thhis which seems cowardly
ReplyDeleteOh. Cant you guys zip it a bit! If she mentions Linda, una go flog am sey na bad belle and she wants to gain traffic. She writes a post on something and you attribute it to Linda. Why didnt you refer to Manny's apology, thats if you read other news and know who or what I am talking about other than coming to blogs anonymously to comment. What is it? Una no go allow person drink water drop cup? If you must know, her apology sounds funny. Apologising and shading at the same time. But thats her cup of fura. Apology can mean different things. For most people, so long as they have apologised e don do and they all move on. That's most people's way of apologising and not like its from the mind. Afterall you are not inside of me to know whether I mean it or not.
DeleteIdiot does your entire life revolve around Linda?
DeletePull your head outta her anus, clear your nostrils and lungs of the shit you must have breathed in and smell the coffee.
Read to the end
DeleteSomeone sent it
This blog is filled with bitter ppl. Read my comment pls and stop jumping to defend stella like psychos. Stella has been posting on these bag drama for the past 3 days without doing so directly. I dont vare abt linda and stellas drama. I dont even like linda. U guys r so pathetic in ur obsession to supoort stella at al cost. Ur rantings make me laugh. U clearly have no life if something this little upsets u so much lol
DeleteStella post the nmasinachi comment
DeleteI think it's more on Psquare's ish o. Na wa
DeleteI'm sorry can solve so many problems. It can as well avert a conceived attack
ReplyDeleteok ooo pastor CY. we will do the needful. Ghanaman, Blogbrity and others take note.
ReplyDeleteThose ones are silly kids.
DeleteThe poster is referring to adults.
Sorry can solve so many things
ReplyDeleteLinda Ikeji's apology was an example of insincere and offensive apology. Still full of arrogance and pride.
ReplyDeleteSHADE !!!!...lol
ReplyDeleteMiss L I apology can also be classified as very offensive
incase you need more examples
Portable viv see as you look fine here. you have taken what the anonymous told you. It is good. no more mashed beans face
ReplyDeleteA sincere apology can be felt but when someone says I am sorry over and over again and goes back to hurt someone. ...sorry loses its meaning. May God give us understanding.
ReplyDelete307 comment 2016
Steve Job's apology was very sincere. If he had come out to apologise for what he said, it would have been insincere because he believed in what he said. I like the fact that he admitted that he believed every word he said, but his wrong doing was in publicizing it. That kind of apology, I would accept and appreciate. I could take him on later on his thoughts and see if there's truth in what he is saying and if I can improve- if I want to.
ReplyDeleteAs much as possible, I appreciate sincerity. Don't hurt me intentionally and come and tell me sorry for hurting me when you were well aware that your actions would hurt me. I'd rather you don't apologise. If I make sense of what you did and why you did it and I can live with it, we can remain friends.
Una wey dey bring in Linda matter, na una sabi. No go mind ya business.
U mirrored my mind and attitude towards apologies. People always think I'm cold or hard. don't apologize to me n think it's ok, tell me why u did what u did. Matters more to me than an apology
DeleteYou know, I hate it when people intentionally hurt someone,either by words or deed, and then they apologize, only for them to do it all over again.
ReplyDeleteI am always very very careful with words.I don't just open my mouth and say whatever I feel like without weighing the words.
I also choose my words carefully.
And that's why I never react quickly when words are thrown at me.I give it time..and if same thing happens over and over again, I will be assured that whatever I say will be justified and as such I won't feel bad about it, nor have any cause to apologize.
I make things right with people everyday, cos I hate regrets..
Also, words when spoken cannot be taken back..
Don't show me you are meek by apologizing to me after hurling insultive words.
Rather,Show your meekness by not uttering demeaning words.
If I apologize for something, you best believe there'd never be a repeat.
And that's because while saying 'I'm sorry', there's an underlining solemn promise that it won't happen again.
Favorite Akon's song comes to mind:
ReplyDeleteExcerpt from "Blame it on me"
"As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that I've done
And things that haven't occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect
I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done
I’m sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame
Even though the blame’s on you
I’ll take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me"
Google wetin?
ReplyDeleteNo vex is not I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry and you are smiling is not apology
Sorry jor! is not apology
Saying sorry is so hard for me
ReplyDeleteNot because of pride
But I don't like apologizing when I'm right or when I know it isn't sincere
And I hate people apologizing to me over and over again when they know they will keep doing same thing
It is hard but I worked on it...well, working on it.
DeleteStellaaaaaaa,abeg leave Linda alone oh!This one nah shade I suppose?
ReplyDeleteMumzy Ewar, it was a Pastor CY who sent this in. So, if anything at all, it's the Pastor throwing shade..
DeleteKikikikiki.. well,sorry and thank you are over rated jor.. don't say sorry if you going to repeat the same thing.. it should be from us Heart not mouth!
ReplyDelete