Sunday In House Gists.

Sunday In House gists continues from Saturdays own which ended at gist five.....

GIST SIX

TA NI YEN?

Happy new year to all my fellow BVN,lol. This my gist happened some years back and I hope it wins so that I can get the money maka owu ji m bad,lol. 

So here it goes.....

 We grew up in the east,so one long holidays when we were still in secondary school, my brother went to ilorin to spend the holidays with our cousin and his family and it was that time that it was only landline that people uses. So it happens that my cousin have landline and their Yoruba neighbor whose son stays in Germany always call them their and they will come to answer. One day,their neighbour's son from Germany called and my brother was asked to go and call someone from their house to come answer their call,so when my brother got to their house and knocked on the door, someone from inside asked my brother ta ne ye? Meaning who is that( my Yoruba peeps hope I got the spelling right,lol). 

My brother thinking that ta ne ye means somebody's name,told the person that he is mezie's brother and not ta ne ya(mezie is my cousin's name). This continued for a long time, if my brother knocks,the person will say ta ne ya,my brother will reply no be ta ne ya na mezie's brother, until my brother got angry and went back home because the person refused to come and open the door.

When my brother got home and my cousin's wife asked where the person is and why he took so long, my brother told her that someone inside their house was calling him ta ne ya and he was telling the person he is mezie's brother and not ta ne ya but the person persisted and refused to open the door so he got angry and left. My cousin's wife wanted to die of laughter that day.

So since that day,if we want to laugh in my house, we will just say ta ne ya,everybody will burst into laughter or if we are walking on the road and hear someone say ta ne ya,we will reply in our head that no be ta ne ye na mezie's brother and we will start laughing. Hope I cracked you guys up because the hustle is real

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GIST SEVEN

BEER PALAVER

Happy new year Stella and dear bvs, there is this uncle of mine that stayed with us way back. He falls into the category of people that drinking did not suite them at all. But for where he must drink by force and when ever he drinks the thing use to scatter his brain to the extend that he will remove his shoes and hold in his hands that they are heavy, and since the beer parlour is not too far from home, he will trek back home and be greeting all the trees by the road side good evening,  good evening till he gets home. 

When he gets home he will bring out all his clothing, both clean and dirty ones and wash. Well we regret not keeping our cloths in his room so that he will help us to wash. Lol.

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GIST EIGHT

THE RUNNING BAG OF RICE

This christmas many people eye just de shine for bag of rice even aboki self...I just de my mumsie shop e get one woman wei don stock her shop with bag of rice na Im one aboki just enter jack one bag outside de march de go, na Im the woman neighbour come go do small tatafo come ask the woman wey get the shop weda aboki don pay for bag of rice wey in carry...

 Na im de woman begin scream de come de shout thief oo thief ooo instead of aboki to run for in life aboki no gree oo in wan die for the bag of rice in carry am for head de run.

 As dem de shout de near aboki the aboki still de run with the rice for head wen dem reach the aboki person just land am one slap aboki fall come de act like say in don die, dem give am another heavy slap aboki wake up Omo I come pass I no hear the end of the gist...

Missy Jay

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GIST NINE

EMBARRASSING MOMENT

Happy new year BVN and Stellastico lala but come oo na so mma nuku bag disappear just like that. The one time celeb that year I dey hail *shines teeth* so this is my funny true life story.

So this happened when I was in school. 

Growing up even at my little age my parents always treated me and expected me to act like a grown up lol. I wasn't allowed to play with sand or empty tins and rubber bands. so I would  just watch with envy from my house as little children will be playing. So you can imagine my excitement when At 8 years, I entered JSS 1. #Boarding house, #freedom at last, #sand, #emptytin, #rubber band. 

The rest is so hilarious cause I always played with sand I would come back to the hostel dripping of sand from head to toe. I would walk bare footed just so I will feel the sand as i walk. Follow my teacher's children to cook with empty tin until my mates will come and drag me out because of the embarrassment. Imagine me, I will still be screaming, fighting them off like they were enemies of progress. I was always in the middle of embarrassing situation. 

There was this one time a catholic priest came to our school for confession. So they announced that catholic students should come out for confession. Imagine me the only thing on my mind was "go and confess all your sins" so I went to the priest knelt down not knowing there was a procedure for confession and  began to narrate how I insult and lie to people because they wont allow me to go and play. 

The priest asked for my name and surname and the next morning I was called to the staff room after much queries, they called my mum to come pick me up from school so she can complete nursing me before bringing me back.

So after much talk, I was allowed to go back to class then my mum was always coming to visit every weekend to make sure I was ok. 

Fast forward to our vacation, everyone was happy. We all prepared ourselves to go home me i was wearing a big cardigan , my skirt and slippers and I dragged my box along. my mum came and was pitying me thinking I was cold until hot sun came out and she asked me to pull my cardigan cause I was sweating profusely there was where the struggle started I was seriously saying am having internal cold until she forcefully raised my cardigan only for her to see i wasn't wearing anything underneath cause  all my shirts were stolen and some breeze blew away. 

So my mum went ahead to open my box and what she saw was 2 stainless plate. Everything I came with to the school went missing except for few plates and what I was wearing.