Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives...

Triple day Chronicles.....

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

BUSTED BECAUSE OF ANGER ISSUES

Hi Stella

Compliments of the season to you and yours. What you are doing is awesome, keep up the good work I'm such a big fan.

I have been contemplating sending in my chronicle to see if maybe it will help me get closure, and I have finally decided to send it. My name is *** (please keep my identity and email private), a young lady in her early thirties, I have been so depressed and heartbroken for months. I live and work in Lagos for years now, an introvert, hardly make friends or go out. I live a very lonely and boring life, my life is one likened to a  triangle ;work-church-home, I have very few friends  who are mostly married and busy with their families

Here goes my story, met this amazing guy early last year who is in his late thirties, we hit it off almost immediately. He lives abroad but comes back to the country often. He swept me off my feet and I fell in love almost immediately, he was my ideal man and everything I wanted in a man. Everything was going well, he was best friend, buddy, confidante, lover etc. He is someone you call a workaholic, business comes before any other thing.

 I did the best I could to be supportive and understanding, but it wasn't enough for him and that was one of the major issues we had from  the onset, we really didn't get to spend quality time together as much as I would love and when I point that out to him he said I'm nagging.

Plans were in progress for marriage until we started having lots of fights by middle of last year. I have some major anger issues I really need to deal with which was partly the cause of our fights. And there were times when I asked for one thing and got a different design though of a better and more expensive quality, I complained about that and he got upset saying I was being ungrateful  and unappreciative.

There was also one time I got so upset because he forgot about our date, I was rude to him on the phone and ended the call on him, He called severally and I didn't pick up,  the next thing I knew he sent me a text breaking up with me, saying he couldn't stand all the emotional drama. I called and apologized, we made up but since then it hasn't been the same. Long story short , it's been months now since the incident and he has withdrawn and become distant.

 He also stopped calling  or taking my calls and doesn't  bother returning them either. I also sent him a mail recently but still nothing from him. I'm hurting, alone, miserable and also upset for allowing him have this hold on me, I hate being treated this way by him.

I know that the smart thing to do is to forget him and move on with my life but it's been so difficult, please Stella I  need your advice and that of other blog visitors on how best to get over this "situationship" I have found myself in and will really appreciate it if you can publish this.

Thank you Stella

Its good you are truthful to admit that you have anger issues.Please look for a way to deal with yours.he probably sat down and thought about all the drama you had brought his way and decided he couldnt handle it.

Stop the pity party talk and look for solutions to your problem before it happens again.let him be for now and stop calling.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

CELIBACY ISSUES

Hey Stella,

  Happy new year, I really enjoy reading your blog a lot.I have a little problem, so I just thought I should send it in, maybe I could get some advice from you and other blog visitors. So this is it, am a 19 years old guy and in my 3rd year at the university but not in Nigeria tho. Am having a problem with celibacy, when I initially arrived here I was just sixteen years old, a bit too young to be on my own so I kind of fell in with the wrong crowd, and I started going to clubs and meeting the wrong people and at that age I had sex, and it was no big deal so I continued. well after about a year I just felt my lifestyle wasn't right, so I decided to change and become celibate which by Gods grace I have partly been able to be. 

But the problem is its not becoming any easier and although I don't have sex anymore I still have sexual activities like kissing and touching which I really want to stop to but its so difficult, like I try but its not working, I don't go for any party anymore not even when friends have get togethers, throughout christmas and even new year's eve I was home studying.Am already known as the guy who promises to try but never shows up. But like when am bored at home and a female friend says she wants to come over to watch a movie and chill I just say yes, I promise myself nothing would happen but well shit happens and am back to square one. 

In fact sometimes am the one who ends up inviting them(I stay alone and get bored a lot). Today I went to a friend's house we where talking and she started giving some signals so I left saying I needed to study but Stella, it took everything in me to stand up and leave, my hormones kept telling me I should just stay, but its a new year and I promised myself this year needs to be different. so on my way back home, I just began thinking if it would ever get better or if I would make it. on an average, men get married around 30 and am just 19, so would it be 11 more years of struggling, of watching were I go, who I talk to and everything about myself and the funniest part of this is when I tell girls am celibate it really just usually makes matters worse in my case, because then they begin to make moves on you but maybe I have the wrong kind of friends but I cant change all my friends. please I need advice from people more matured than me on this issue. 

I cant talk to my family about it, my mom died years ago and my dad still sees me like a little boy so talking about sex never comes up. Thanks for making your platform available.GODBLESS

Concerning Celibacy issues,i dont know what to say cos your narrative makes it look so hard to deal.You can do it,its all in your mind you know.

Probably someone on this blog who has been through what you are going through can help.

Good luck with fighting to kill your libido.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE

MARRYING ONE MAN WITH ANOTHER MANS PREGNANCY.

Hello Stella, A friend of mine is in a dilemma and urgently needs advice from blog visitors. Here is her story.................  

  '' Hello Stella,  I am in hot soup and I need matured advise from blog visitors cursing is allowed but please leave your honest advice at the end, Stella please bring out whatever colour of pen you have and advice me too I beg and don't eat popcorn or read comments today I beg you........   

             I am 24years old and have been dating this guy for two years now let's call him Mr A and all has been well or so I thought until I heard from my siblings when I came to the village that he came to pay another girls bride price in the next village. So I called to ask when I could see him to confront him about what I heard but on getting there I somehow forgot to close my legs and pretend to be a mermaid and we had sex ( that was stupid I know). Now my period is late, i've run tests and it came positive.... I am pregnant, I told my boyfriend who then confirmed that he has paid another girl's bride price and he cannot pay two girls bride price and he doesn't want the child.

 Stella my parents will kill me if they hear  that I am pregnant. Then there is Mr B  my ex who I broke up with before I started dating this my boyfriend, we broke up because he was very jealous, we have been in contact since and he has been asking me to marry him for over 6 months now. I told Mr B what happened between I and Mr A and that I am pregnant and he says I should keep it that he would take responsibility. He says he ready to pay my bride price too. As juicy as It sounds I am scared and confused and don't really know what to do. Should I agree to marry him? If I do what if he uses it against me in the future? 

Should I tell Mr A that I have gotten rid of it and just give the child to Mr B? Should I tell Mr A That I am keeping the child but giving it to Mr B? What if Mr B suddenly changes his mind halfway? Please blog visitors feel free to cuss me out but please  advise me as you would you sister before I lose my mind. Stella please bring out your pen please''.                                                                       

My dear i honestly do not know what to say.I promised not to cuss anyone who sends in Chronicles again this years cos no one is perfect but babe you really messed up and your situation is really confusing.

Why dont you give the ex a chance?its better than aborting that baby because of what your parents would do...