Hey BV's,Its time for us to have that talk....
The POWER to choose your spouse is YOUR choice alone. yeah?
A speaker that I've listened to says 'the next worst thing after hell fire is a bad Marriage'....oops but true!
Imagine if you were in a domestic violent marriage or you are married to a nagging wife or husband, will you be able to function well without it affecting other areas of your life?
A bad or good marriage can determine how far one will go in life, your destiny and whether you will fail or succeed.
Marriage is not a place to jokingly and blindly walk into, if you cannot choose your spouse by yourself, ask yourself, do you think you are ready to be in a marriage? Because of this and more reasons, we have to be very careful in choosing the BETTER one, I say better because one can meet the ideal man, and he won't be compatible with you.
Let me give an illustration, if a fish marries a giraffe, where will they live?
In life, we don't choose our parents, siblings or relatives, the only person we can CHOOSE is our spouse. Please let us know that the Lord God gave us that opportunity. You are the only one who knows how compatible you will be with your spouse, so you should not leave the choice of your life partner in the hands of anyone.
That is why it is good to court/date. This is to let you know more about the other person, their likes, aspirations. It is the time to research and choose qualities you want/need in your future life partner.
Concerning people either taking a guy/girl's picture to a pastor, prophet, imam, babalawo.... A cleric should not determine who one's life partner will be, even if it is based on a revelation or just normal logic or calculations. You are the only one who will live with whoever man/ woman you choose.
We can get advice from people about their lives and marital experiences, but in the end it is solely YOU that should be choosing your wife/husband, not a pastor, imam or chief priest.
Above all, we should talk to God to help us choose our spouse, because HE is the only who knows all. A cleric is limited because he is human, just like you also are.
My 10cents...bvs abeg, a word is enough for the wise
Bv #Miss Kay #
P.S I'm not married yet, but we all learn from interaction and people's experiences.
Here goes the marriage talk again...
ReplyDeleteThis blog is not for singles, hmmmm..... Stella and marriage sha
DeleteMy sister I tire. Marriage this and that. Let it rest please! When we all get married, we deal with it.
DeleteHahahahahahahaa....
DeleteI know rina, but we need it...I pray to be a Good & Loyal wife to my Good & Loyal Husband.
DeleteTetrina,I just tire o.Let me just sit this one out,no contribution from me.
DeleteLol
DeleteMarriage is really scary tho
God would help us all..Amen
Shut up! Y'all are dying for marriage but you'll be talking shit.
DeleteLol , thank God I got married before Stella started her marriage talk I for don grow dada. .
DeleteTetrina dal here we go again oh.
DeleteGod is watching.
I have the spirit to know if who I'm going out with is for me.
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
For real?
DeleteReally! *rolls eyes* abeg share wt me...
DeleteAs a woman you can't chose. but men have more power to pick and choose. Father Lord you promised me in your word that you will give me what I ask in your name. This man too promised me o. It must therefore happen in 2016. This man is my husband! Na him come meet me not otherwise
DeleteAnother marriage topic. Is that all we live for???
ReplyDeleteThat is actually what we live for, just realised it.
DeleteI tire o
DeleteMy dear I tire.
DeleteWhat about this topic *how to make more money". Hahahahaha
I wonda o. Evry singles n marriage persons on ds blog is a marriage counselors. Mschew.
DeleteJoy,o dikwa egwu really.
Delete@Eka sad, why then did u cry urself to sleep yesterday?
DeleteI tire o
Delete*straight face while I wait for someone to say whats on my mind
ReplyDeleteMarriage talk again O boy.
ReplyDeleteYou truly need it dear.
DeleteMarriage is ordained by God and so its natural and normal to leave one's parents and cleave to a partner. Marriage has no Key Point Indicators (KPIs) for success, but we tend to judge a successful marriage by how well it is, viz; their number of cars, houses, well placed children, huge bank accts, high office positions, how hot they are in bed etc.
DeleteThe issue with marriage of this present generation is, couple longer respect their marital vows, they see it as mere sayings. (some never vow at all). In this generation, a Successful Marriage must be for Better, for Richer and in Health. Couple forget that life conditions can be rough and become Bad, one can become Poorer and be Sick, and so when it becomes rough, they seek for an exit door.
To me some many factors make marriage successful, these are but not limited to: "LUST" - Love, Understanding, Sacrifice and Trust.
Also add, Fear of God, Prayer and Living a Peaceful & Holy life.
Concerning going spiritual b4 choosing a life partner, all I'll say is it can work for some and never work for others. If God give u a partner, it doesn't end there, u have to still work-out ur marriage because NO MARRIAGE IS IMMUNED TO FAILURE. Also God can replace the person destined or preordained to be ur wife with another better person. Read the book of Esther 1 - end.
On violence, Men should learn to be Patient, or leave the house whenever a woman is nagging, quarelling or seeking for troubles 'Upandan'. OR just Steal a kiss from her nagging mouth and run away.
Women need to stop nagging, being offensive and insultive always. Some words can trigger the lion in a man and he will commit havoc that he never thought of.
Oscar Moses, I didn't bother reading your epistle, u talk too much and seem like an ITK...mschew
DeleteOscar Moses, thank you very much...*4me,u make 2much sense
DeleteStick too what works for you
ReplyDeleteThere is no perfect marriage
ReplyDeleteYour faith made you whole. ..for me there is a perfect marriage it depends on how we see things.
DeleteThere is honey. ....made in heaven
DeleteU r right....
DeleteNice write up dear,keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHmm
ReplyDeleteDon't know what to say
Pls do say.....looking forward to your opinion...
DeletePlease say something, ur opinion counts
DeleteSeen
ReplyDeleteAre u sure?
DeleteTrue talk....
ReplyDelete.coM
DeleteStill trusting him for mine.
ReplyDeleteYea..definitely. Yours would come.
DeleteKeep being hopeful its well.
DeleteMARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY:
ReplyDeleteI'd begin with a citation that you probably have never heard from your pastor (I crave the indulgence of those who do not go to church or read their bibles); in Matthew nineteen vs. twelve the Lord Jesus taught that marriage is not for everybody and noted that some folks will not receive this teaching . . . some have renounced marriage for the "kingdom of heaven sake" . . . Why this citation; because when a human mind is fixated on a thing, he/she may not hear God speak . . . for God does speak one way and another way but man does not perceive it . . . quoting Job thirty one vs. fourteen etc.
A lady I met in sometime ago (MORE THAN A DECADE) told me a story of how she prayed and fasted for God to show her a life partner and the Lord told her in unequivocal terms that she belong to the class of Hanna daughter of Phanuel . . . Luke chapter one. . . . whose husband died after seven years of marriage and who became a widow living and praying in the church everyday till her eighties. She scorned the counsel (she is a very prayerful lady and liked to stay 6 hours daily in the church even in her early twenties and is somebody I can describe as a "black beauty"). She got married to a very wealthy merchant and within six yeas she had 3 kids; a boy and 2 girls. Then she never stopped going to the church to pray (mainly praying for revivals etc. not a selfish prayer at all and she fasts daily). Her husband was beginning to complain and also beginning to feel unwell. The new year of the seventh year, the Lord met her in the church and told her that he was going to take her husband home (the husband is a fine Christian mind you). Within the first quarter of the year, the husband developed a cancer and was gone within 5 months! Immediately, the husbands brothers in Europe and America began to request for the kids to train in school and the lady was withholding them . . . it was then that she was met for counseling. In her own words . . ." I am not deceiving myself coming here . . . I know my problems and the solution but I'm just being selfish and protective of my kids . . .etc . . . i went into marriage for selfish reasons . . . pray for me to have the Grace from God to do the right thing . . ."
Well we lost contact and I've met about a dozen folks (men and ladies with similar experiences) but the import of this lesson is that ladies should pray with knowledge and humility. Men should also pray well to know the kind of ladies they are engaged to and not jump where the Lord "will take them home earlier"! A lot of times, we ladies are driven by the things we see . . . . the things we see are temporal and those we do not see are eternal. You may not appreciate the import of the story told above but let's tell you that your country did not explode during all the crises and the recent elections is for the sake of these ones . . . know some folks who fasted daily for years and literally lived in the church.
Ladies pray with knowledge and be patient; this is the lesson from this story.
I miss @Pastor bimbo odukoya when it comes to matters like this
ReplyDeleteGod rest her soul
@Galore
We listened for 2 hrs on IPad live screening this morning to Pastor Sabina of Naija102.7fm Lagos. Her ever bubbly son Jimmy (Pastor Jay) was live in the studio. 2 people beside me cried. 10 years since Pastor Bimbo departed. It was sooooo touching.
DeleteRIP Pastor Bimbo.
Marriage is essential. But ironically, not everybody will get married. The desperation to get married is one of the determinate factor why people make the wrong choices, even when knowing fully well is not going to work. But again, as a man searching and choosing a wife are among the most difficult things in life, especially when u don't want to get it wrong.
ReplyDelete*determinant*
DeleteThank God you now know better than wasting yourself.
DeleteMY HUSBAND (FIANCE THEN) AND I DISCUSSED A LOT BEFORE MARRIAGE TO AVOID "CHRONICLES OF NARRATIVES"
ReplyDeleteThere were a lot to discuss;
1. Our careers; levels and who goes first for this and that degrees
2. Our finances; joint account with either to sign/taking care of our respective parents/ which relatives to admit and take up responsibility and which not to etc.
3. Our kids/ number (gender matters interference or not), discipline (he knew how to do it; my weakest point), schooling/fees etc.
4. Scriptures/prayers/fasting (fixed and did it together): Church denominational issues trashed; we should attend any but together etc.
5. Wedding; non denominational (had to bring the two families together), low key (invest the money instead of lavishing it in a day on frivolities)/ attires (no need buying an exorbitant wedding dress from UK and having it as a liability afterwards), we still reap the dividends from the savings from our wedding.
Really, we discussed a lot and we keep on discussing. We rarely had enough time each time we went out on a date. We do not remember sex and we really did not want to do it and appear hypocritical to ourselves and all. More than ten years of marital journey and with kids; I've got peace, lots of love and trust. If you tell me that you tell me that my husband was with a lady, I will laugh you to scorn. Is it not the same man who for 4 years was with me in the most secure and secluded of places and never attempted to undress me? The trust is mutual and we enjoy a very beautiful sex life. Marriage is beautiful if you plan it with God and stay resolved.
AND FOR THOSE WHO THINK HE IS CHEATING; SORRY, HE IS NOT. I KNOW SO MANY "TRAPS" THAT WAS SET FOR HIM AND WE PRAYED THROUGH AND DISCUSSED THEM AND OVERCAME THEM. SOME OF THOSE LADIES EVENTUALLY CONFESSED AND REPENTED.
Lmao. You have come again today? We heard you yesterday madam
DeleteHahahahaha@ the last paragraph. Ado okay
Na nollywood??? Wey dem dey confess come repent?
DeleteI blv u ma.i am you
DeleteAbeg give us another talk o jare
ReplyDeleteEvery time marriage this , marriage that - Stella find better news give ur readers !
And you are visiting pastors......
DeleteIt is well
ReplyDeleteSeeking the will of God from the medium called "Pastor":
ReplyDeleteA very committed lady in her church (note Church and not committed to God) dated a man for 6 months. Both at some points belonged to the choir. The man in her own view was quite dedicated. Even her pastor confirmed that he is her husband. And of course as you'd guess, the man is loaded. So they wedded and lady went to live with her husband. It was then that her eyes popped open like popcorn; the man is a very committed Muslim; almost the boko type! He had boasted to his friends that he must marry this lady and when the thing got down to a bet running into millions of naira, he decided to join the church and subsequently the choir. Of course your guess is a good as mine, marriage packed up as soon as it started. The lady even in counselling found it difficult to forgive her pastor. But wasn't she laying her frustration on another person?
PLEASE LADIES, THE LORD'S WORD IS THAT WHOEVER SEEKS HIM WILL FIND HIM. FAST AND PRAY LIKE JESUS TAUGHT US; AS A HABIT NOT JUST WHEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS.
Marriage isn't a means to an end biko
ReplyDeletePained much?
DeletePained much?
DeleteIt is rather the end of all d means
Delete
ReplyDelete"Pastors" have turned to mediums. Apart from marriage people even go to "these pastors' to determine who will live in their finished buildings, what names they should give their babies, etc.
Yet again.
ReplyDeleteYes, Gwegs go get married
DeleteYes.I do support this write up.marriage is something one should be careful of before making a final decision on who to spend the rest of your life with.I always advice one should not get carried away by the physical features.always check for conpatibility and how to test for compatibility is through friendship..that's why there are chances that one that gets married to His or best friend enjoys good marriage..people should stop to work so hard to develop love..try develop a good friendship and every other thing falls in..Friendship avail you the opportunity to know the other person too well..and please seek God...attraction is better but reality is the best.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to type again jare...you try. Aeegurl...
ReplyDeleteTrue talk my sister.marriage is another institution on is own. Praying to God almighty to give me knowledge and understanding to be able to cope with my hubby.
ReplyDeleteTrue talk. That was how a pastor friend advised a classmate of mine to marry a fellow AS
ReplyDeleteWhy is my comment never approved?
ReplyDeleteMarriage! Marriage!! Marriage
ReplyDeleteToo much a topic on this blog
And yet people in relationship still come up with stupid chronicles
Like someone would send chronicle to say this my boyfriend beats me, should I still go ahead and marry him??
He is not emotionally available, should I still marry him??
He doesn't take care of my needs but he is caring, should I accept his proposal??
And many more
And those who will ask if sex will make a guy marry you
And many are happy in their marriages, keep consoling urself
DeleteMarriage talk again?*aiit*
ReplyDeleteGifted still single abeg..you people should not frustrate me*kilode*
Jan 4 is all about me*dancing*
Girls if you know within your conscience that man is yours, go for it. Parents are super selfish when it comes to tribe sentiment.
ReplyDeleteIn the end the decision is yours.
Especially the ibos that don't like other tribe.
I say this from experience. Had I have known, I wouldn't have married my folks ibo choice. That benue man was my husband.
Life full of regrets. Please girls be wise
May tou find peace and joy. I can imagine.
DeleteTrue talk..many people still foolishly and gullibly patronize these so called prophets knowing fully well that there is a limit to what a prophet knows/can predict.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, true talk ooo. So I met dis guy some months back. Decided to give him a chance. He invited me to his house, I went but wasn't impressed about his source of income and all. As he saw me off, he insisted on getting to my house which I declined but since he was adamant, I allowed him. Getting to my house, dude was intimidated. Started asking who owns d apartment and all sorts. Knowing fully well dat as a single mum with a 4yr old daughter, I work my ass off to earn a living.
ReplyDeleteTo cut story short, he started asking if I can leave my apartment, which is more comfortable and move into his. Dat question alone irritated me. Instead of him to think of a way to better himself, he's scheming how to drag me miles behind.
Marriage is not about money but I bet dat money is a very important factor. His aspirations should to some extent equal mine.
If I agreed to marry him just to be married, I dare say dat I'll be miserable and full of hatred towards him.
Bottom line: As I wait on the Lord, I've ruled desperation for marriage out of my mind. While I focus on bettering myself. The Lucky guy is near, so HELP me God.
Amen Sis...am with you on that!
Delete2 thumbs up.
DeleteYou go girl, after all you already have a child.
DeleteWhen I wantd 2 get married, I looked @ d good nd bad side of him. Nd I ask myself name one bad thing dt he is doing dt you dnt like nd if u r told 2 leave him for a reason name it, I checked nd noticed dt they only bad tin there is dt he likes biting his nails a lot.
ReplyDeleteAwin, wipes tears.
DeleteWhen he is sleeping, apply solvent on his finger tips, does he bite his toenails as well? (solvent for drainage pipes etc,) I promise you he will NEVER bite anything again.
Bwahahahahaha....
DeleteMembers of BVN oh...
The marriage blog
ReplyDeleteIt's bcos Stella is married nah, mockery things
DeleteHmmm. I am not there yet. I need comments for future guidiance. *grabs seat*
ReplyDeleteManna bee...u make sense. Instead of single ladies to read comments from the wise ones has experience is the best teacher, they are writing dust upandan. Na me and u dey siddon read comments.....
DeleteThe power still lies in the hands of the woman... As long as it's the Lady's discretion to say 'Yes', then they shouldn't blame the man if the outcome in the marriage doesn't turn out as desired. The power lies in the hands of the Lady, not in the man's
ReplyDeleteWhat a stupid statement. Pity the person you'll marry.
DeletePity not my dear, pity your anonymous self instead
DeleteIt takes two to make it work, repeat after me '2'.
DeleteIt lies with the woman my foot!!
Wetin your ID help you do? Oh I forgot, BEG like a hungry goat for freebies abi.
DeletePlease stay single and save some innocent woman from later destroying her life and committing suicide.
Imagine entering a marriage and stating that it is the responsibility of the woman to make it work? Who gives birth to these stupid children?
You must be the Devil's apprentice. Fool.
I need to know about dis I think I'm ready for marriage but how do I know I'm making the right choice
ReplyDeleteWhen u stop looking at the guy's pocket
DeleteMy 000h my, en0ugh 0f the marraige talk abeg. Is marraige a g0al medal? M0st 0f the fustrated. Ppl in life are married why enc0urage ppl t0 add t0 the list.
ReplyDelete*gold
DeleteAnother marriage talk...
ReplyDelete**SDK cute lil sis**
Nice write up Notwithstanding..
ReplyDeleteYea, true talk. I concur. It's you, you and you...
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not by force if is not working GTHO.
ReplyDeleteMarriage marriage marriage......beta days ahead
ReplyDeleteHere we go again. For the love of God, enough with the marriage this spouse that write-up, it's become monotonous and outright irritating.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Sometimes it can be difficult to make a choicr., especially when you are faced with similar options.
ReplyDeleteWhatever jare.,, I tire
ReplyDeleteAnother marriage talk again ,i will tell you something ,God is not in the business of choosing wife or husband for any one since adam accused him in the garden of eden .And ye shall find yourself a wife or husband bring i will bless.That is why God says he who find a wife findeth a good thing ,i rest my case .
ReplyDeleteMarriage, as a topic, cannot be overemphasised. My darlings complaining about the topic of marriage being recycled to a point of becoming trite or annoying, please try to be more accommodating. If you aren't married yet, I can understand why such a topic may seem irritating, especially with the affliction of a myopic mindset about marriage a lot of people have. Perhaps, if you know how bastardized the institution of marriage has become, your tolerance level may stretch a bit.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is one of the most important important decisions a person will make. While marriage may not be an accomplishment, it has a monumental effect on your life the minute you decide to get married. A lot of people have no business getting married because not everyone is wired for marriage. Unfortunately, most cultures regard an unmarried man or woman who has attained a "reasonable" age as having major problems. It's tricky because in some cases, it's actually true but society generalises all cases as one.
The reason why we are overwhelmed by the in pouring of sob marital stories as chronicles of blog visitors' narratives, is bordered on marrying the wrong person or marrying the right person for the wrong reasons. Marriage has been hooded with the fantasy and glamour of the celebration as well as a more liberal approach that a lot of people seem to have forgotten that marriage is actually a covenant sealed with blood. That's why for a marriage to be accepted by God and law, the union must be comsumated through sexual intercourse( that is actually when the two become one by blood). Breaking any covenant has major consequences regardless of cause. People have lost sight of this, that's why some people go into marriage with an exit plan, just in case. Marriage is one of the most serious spiritual rituals so discussions about marriage can never be too much, in my considered view.
The wrong marriage can earn a person a free and miserable ride to hell. It can turn an angel to a demon and lamb to a wild beast. The issue of safe sex is Mickey Mouse in comparison with a wrong marriage but people rarely complain about being choked with messages about safe sex because the idea of sexually transmitted diseases is terrifying. What is hidden behind the veil is that marrying the wrong person is more toxic than any STD. It destroys not only the body but the spirit and soul and it takes only the mercies of God to make a person whole after a divorce. Even in cases of domestic violence and adultery where divorce is recommended, it still has serious spiritual implications. Now you see why marrying the right person should never be downplayed.
A lot of people get married with the illusion of courtship. We keep hearing "marriage is not a do or die affair", so people risk getting marriage for the wrong reasons or wrong person because they feel they can just "move on" once they get what they didn't sign up for in the marriage. They are ignorant of the repercussions of breaking a covenant. I agree to an extent that marriage isn't a do or die affair once your life is at stake but I prefer the "...not a do or die affair" to apply to the choice not to marry in the 1st place. It's better to remain single than to be in a wrong marriage.
Valid points made Ronalda.
DeleteAnd they say marriage is overrated, still they won't let us hear word with marriage topic. Mogbe!
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, they attended weddings every weekend and buy aso-ebi.
DeleteI know some people will say it's not all about marriage, one must not marry, or a marriage should not define who one is...hear it from the Bible which is our life manual, Genesis 2:18 'And the Lord God said, It is not good that the Man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him'.
DeleteAm kinda dating a guy that is partialy deaf, cute, fair, he isnt dumb, a graduate, lecturer, early thirties. He loves me but i dont love him back. And am not fine oh plus he's not my tribe and not my church member. Am igbo he's bini, am catholic he is pent... Should I date him? Which of course will lead to marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou are kinda dating and you are asking us if you should date him...#confused
DeleteWomen should train themselves on how to obey their gut feeling or instinct.
DeleteYou said it all.....you don't love him and the rest,why spend ur time and emotions there?oh!the I must marry syndrome...
Leave him for someone else to love.
DeleteI do not understand.
DeleteHow do you 'kinda' date someone?
It's like telling someone you are 'kinda' alive, or 'kinda' dead...
I too am #confused.
Enter your comment...speechless......¤emjay new boo
ReplyDeleteNice write up.
ReplyDeleteThanks
DeleteNice one.
ReplyDeleteMarriage talk again? Please let's have topics like "how to make legit money"
ReplyDelete
Delete10 BILLION LIKES !!!!!
Lemme read comments
ReplyDeleteIn fact a bad marriage is worse than hell.
ReplyDeleteNice one. I agree.
ReplyDeleteok o,let me read comments
ReplyDeleteLuving dis cuz its bin long we discussd marriage
ReplyDeleteThis issue is quite controversial because there are so many factors based on each person's opinion and ideology. The ideal situation will be to find a partner you love and have peace in your mind about your choice, and your family will embrace your choice wholeheartedly! Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the power to choose a spouse should be subject to certain considerations but ultimately should be yours. It's necessary to consider your family's opinions because, in some cases, your family knows you more than you may realise. A mother's intuition is keen, without undue bias or prejudices, a mother can easily perceive a wrong partner for her child and voice her reservations. If you're in love, you are rarely rational so it is desirable to hear from your family and consider any concern they may have. After all, if it doesn't work out, they are the only reasonable support system you may have.
The spiritual aspect is also very dicey as well because a lot of people seek spiritual guidance the wrong way, moreso as a lot of spiritual leaders give wrong counsel based more on their perception rather than the leading of the Holy Spirit. Some spiritual leaders actually arrange marriages for their faithful congregants as a reward for their faithfulness without considering compatible. I know of a case where a pastor arranged a marriage between one of the most dedicated ushers and a new member who happened to be wealthy. They courted for about 3 months and then got married only for the marriage to collapse 6 months later! Incredible! When asked, the ursher said she knew he was not the right person for her from day 1 but how could she challenge her father in the Lord? After all he is more spiritual than she. How sad! Meanwhile, there are couples matchmade by their spiritual leaders who are in happy marriages. There are also cases of successful marriages where both parties just jumped in without any guidance. In life, there are really no guarantees. I believe it's safer to seek God's guidance personally and ask for grace not to be misled by my your own desires.
I'll wind up by stating that if you are lucky to find a person who loves you and you feel the same and compatibility isn't an issue, both of you can make up your minds to make sure your marriage works and it will work as long as you bring God into the equation. Contrary to popular beliefs, there are more soulmates than people realise. There can never be only one person tailor made for another, God always has spares, there are replacements. The choice of a life partner should rest primarily on you because you will be the one to deal with the outcome of your choices.
She's back
DeleteHello, Ronalda!
Not in all cases o. As for me I no longer trust my mother. The preferential treatment she has For my siblings. She lies a lot and I will be foolish to fully trust her- based on what has happened in the past. Only God can you trust in this life.
DeleteNo marriage is Perfect. There is need to consult your Pastor or Reverend. His prayers and advice counts.
ReplyDeleteBut here is one thing my Mum uses for the daughters, "If you hold your Bobby's hand and you get excited and your heart flutters, he is your lover and sweetheart. But, if you hold your Bobby's hand and you feel safe and secure, he is your Husband, marry him". In my own case, I felt secure holding him tight and it was at a dinner date, I unconsciously laid my head on his chest. He was very shocked and thought probably the sea breeze had gotten to me. I listened to my emotions. Very important.
Before this, keep away from a hot tempered man, if you are hot tempered like me. The marriage will pack up. There is need for One person to be CRAZY at a time. Not together.
My own 1 cent!
Lol
DeleteNice...
I need a like button for this.
DeletePlease what is even the right age to get married in Nigeria cos the rate at which people are quick to lay classifications such as aunt gwegwegwe on a 30year old unmarried person is alarming... In short even 29 is termed gwegs ...this is one of the factor that pushes one to over look the whole phase of marrying the right person... We keep blaming it on the society... But who is this society if it isn't you and I..
ReplyDeleteU spoke well! Gbam! Marriage is overrated! Nothing dey dia oooo! May God grant us wisdom
DeleteOverrated? But madam @oluwakemi I thought you were married
DeleteLol, nothing dey dia abi? Pls come back in 7 years time to repeat it .
DeleteLol! All dis momitoring spirit! Can read Story some aw!
DeleteMarriage is ordained by God and so its natural and normal to leave one's parents and cleave to a partner. Marriage has no Key Point Indicators (KPIs) for success, but we tend to judge a successful marriage by how well it is, viz; their number of cars, houses, well placed children, huge bank accts, high office positions, how hot they are in bed etc.
ReplyDeleteThe issue with marriage of this present generation is, couple longer respect their marital vows, they see it as mere sayings. (some never vow at all). In this generation, a Successful Marriage must be for Better, for Richer and in Health. Couple forget that life conditions can be rough and become Bad, one can become Poorer and be Sick, and so when it becomes rough, they seek for an exit door.
To me some many factors make marriage successful, these are but not limited to: "LUST" - Love, Understanding, Sacrifice and Trust.
Also add, Fear of God, Prayer and Living a Peaceful & Holy life.
Concerning going spiritual b4 choosing a life partner, all I'll say is it can work for some and never work for others. If God give u a partner, it doesn't end there, u have to still work-out ur marriage because NO MARRIAGE IS IMMUNED TO FAILURE. Also God can replace the person destined or preordained to be ur wife with another better person. Read the book of Esther 1 - end.
On violence, Men should learn to be Patient, or leave the house whenever a woman is nagging, quarelling or seeking for troubles 'Upandan'. OR just Steal a kiss from her nagging mouth and run away.
Women need to stop nagging, being offensive and insultive always. Some words can trigger the lion in a man and he will commit havoc that he never thought of.
Marriage is a beauitful thing! Its good to marry ur friend!
ReplyDeleteFirstly: physically access d guy! Rem in d. Bible God gave adam work first b4 wife! His dd guy focus! Is he hardworking.
Secondly: no body is perfect! Wat bad character can u live with! Brace my mind
THirdly: put him b4 God! God wwould always give u a sign! Mind u God wwont tell u he is d one or not! But would show u signs
Lastly: use ya brain not ur p..sy or d..ck, wen u defile d bed b4 marriage God won't be able to reveal to u.
D idea of going to meet pastors is trashy
Well. If u are in a troubled marriagee! My advise is fasting, prayer and vigil! God give us wisdomm
Are you not contradicting yourself from your above comment. If it is overrated according to you, how is it a beautiful thing?
DeleteMonitoring spirit! Wen u get married u would find out its overrated! Its a beautiful tin yes! Its not just worth d rush wen u not ready! Esp wen baby comes!
DeleteMadam calm down, pesin ask you simple question you begin mess upandan.
DeleteDo you know if it's a single person searching for guidance.
Abeg fuck outta here with your bent marriage series.
Marriage can never be over emphasised, we need to hear all this marriage topic on daily basis to avoid writing chronicle in future, very important
ReplyDeleteWell spoken......
DeletePlix, that is why you have your parents, your siblings, your friends, your colleagues, your mentors, your places of worship, your cell groups, your bible study meetings, video cds, audio cds, books, movies etc etc
DeleteThis is a goddamm blog for crying out loud, not a marriage counselling class.
Maybe the reason people are always waiting cap in hand in December is because there are No topics to EMPOWER your frigging brains.
Been on this blog 4years running, Ashafa's post was the first and LAST of such I ever saw on this blog.
If its not how to make owo soup today, it's how to marry the right man tomorrow.
Like seriously????? Abeg I can't deal. #soirritated
Marriage can never be over emphasised, we need to hear all this marriage topic on daily basis to avoid writing chronicle in future, very important
ReplyDeleteMarriage can never be over emphasised, we need to hear all this marriage topic on daily basis to avoid writing chronicle in future, very important
ReplyDeleteThe society puts pressure on women especially, to jump into marriage. This is one reason why there is so much unhappiness in marriages today since most women get married to the first man that seems ready to settle down with them, overlooking their compatibility, temperament, finance, and even love. As a result, the divorce rate and broken homes keeps going higher by the day. Not everyone is cut out for marriage, but because everyone around you is doing it, one is pressured into towing the line.
ReplyDeleteI am a woman in my 40s, never wished to get married despite all the pressure from my mum, friends, siblings, pastors etc. I fought everyone off, telling them that I know myself, I am highly temperamental and do not suffer fools gladly. I may love a man deeply, but can I put up with all his attitudes that may seem tolerable from afar but will throw me off the deep end if I have to live with him in the same house? Can I play the good daughter/sister in-law to his folks when I know Im not one to hide my feelings and kowtow to please others? Am I ready to live under the control of a man, needing permission to do anything from investing my money, going on vacations or plain going to spend Christmas with my own family?
The answer for me was a solid NO! I told them if they forced me into a marriage, they should be ready to return the bride price the moment I get fed up.And wouldnt it be more disgraceful to have a divorced daughter than one who chose to stay single and live the life she wished to have? I stood my ground and made a life for myself. I am very happy with my life, not a girl about town, I ve dated the same man for a decade now and thankfully he's been in a marriage before and isnt planning to go into another again. I dont even wish to have children cos Im not sure i will be an ideal mother. Ask yourself why we have rapists, robbers, prostitutes, ritualists etc around us. Its simply because people not fit to be parents, went ahead to make children the couldnt bring up in the ways of the lord!
The choice is yours and yours alone. If you know you wont be complete without the Mrs title, then go ahead and get married. But if you know you will be a failure and not ready to serve your husband as the good books directs, my friend, you have no business with matrimony.
Excuses,yet you are in a relationship,when I started reading I thought you totally single sef mtchew
DeleteThe topic is marriage u fish brain. Person like u don fail WAEC 10 times. Ode!
DeleteNkemdilim, she is in a relationship and not marriage!!!
DeleteShe clearly knows what she wants...
Don't be a kill joy**...
Oprah's been in a relationship for more than two decades
It's called telling yourself the truth... Not all women are cut out for that submissive bullshit and African men ain't making any of it easy @ all...
Oprah is a great person but her values are warped because of her background. She is good mentor for financial success, weightloss etc, but do not use her as a yardstick for relationships because she still has a lot to learn.
DeleteAnon 17:02: I really really wish I knew you.
DeleteMen who say they are not marrying have not met their Mrs right. Do you know how pained you will be if or when he dumps you for a 21 YR old. You may be bitter. A man who truly loves a woman in our society will want to wife her. Forget story
DeleteWow.. This is rare
Delete100% true my dear. God is the ultimate.
ReplyDeleteI know some people will say it's not all about marriage, one must not marry, or a marriage should not define who one is...hear it from the Bible which is our life manual, Genesis 2:18 'And the Lord God said, It is not good that the Man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him'.
ReplyDeleteIt's the pained singles that will say this
DeleteOversabi
DeleteSo we should do what now?
DeleteSo we shld go and marry kikikik,i have not seen any reason for me not to get married,nothing I believe it is an institution created by God just like baptism, it must be manifested in our life,I know it is difficult to find the right person but we have to believe in God's word
DeleteStella do another S n M for DEC before the year finally rolls over.
ReplyDeleteDidn't read it but all I know is marriage is sweet when you marry your friend.
ReplyDeleteStill seriously looking for mine Mr right.
ReplyDeleteit is not about getting married, it is about staying married
ReplyDeleteI am getting married in March 2016 to the love of my life. BF forever!
ReplyDeleteI am getting married in April 2016 to an amazing man am yet to meet. Hallelujah....wow
ReplyDeleteAmen!!!
DeleteI love your testimony of faith, congrats in advance darling