Sunday in house gist is unedited....thats how it will be from now on to retian its original humour,with the gbagaun and all..LMAO!
Saturday in house gists was part 1-6,it continues today with part 7-11
GIST SEVEN
EVERYBODY HAS WENT TO BED
Compliment of the season to everyone....
This incidence happen when i went to visit a friend,actually the house
is face me i slap you.
So this particular night which was on friday,everybody has went to
bed.Suddenly we heard sound outside and i was even scared asking my
friend what is happening outside and i said we should go and check but
she refused.Am sure everybody in the compound heard the noise too,some
guys came out we too open our door small time outside don full.To our
greatest surprise we met Baba T outside trying to break the lock on
the well.We asked what he was up to,He said he wanted to enter His
apartment but unfortunately he has lost the key so he decided to break
it open.This man was oozing of alchohol,they have to assist his wife
to park him to his apartment that day.I was amazed that day,I got to
know that this is not the first time he drinks to stupor .And he still
drinks to stupor till now.
...............................................................................................................
GIST EIGHT
MEEEEEH
I remember one funny incidence that happened one night in my house. Myself and my two sisters share the same room. My elder and younger sis sleep on the lower and upper bunk beds respectively, while I sleep on the single bed. We were all sleeping one night o, when there was no light, suddenly my elder sister just screamed from her sleep, "Yeh ! Jesus !rat rat ! Rat has climbed my leg o". I jumped up from my own bed scared and confused and started saying "Jesus ! what happen ? What happen ?" All of a sudden, my younger sister just jumped down from the upper bunk frightened, she didn't even use the ladder and started making some strange sounds like a goat in labour "MEEHH MEEHH MEEEHH" myself and my elder sister just looked at each other and started laughing. My younger sister just hissed and went back to sleep. We still tease her with the goat-like sounds and she goes "Sister xxxx I don't like it oo".
..............................................................................................................
GIST NINE
THE PROPHECY
Few years ago, my uncle was very sick after taking him from one hospital to another to no avail, we were advised to take him to a church in by a family friend.
My dad was not around then so he asked my two elder sisters to go with my uncle. Na pigin english sure pass for this gist. As dem reach the church people full dey wait for prophet, as prophet enter em come begin see vision. Na so em call one boy tell am say e get girl way em dump, say the girl na im dey behind em misfortune. The guy now wan tell prophet say em never engage any girl na so church people shout say why em go question spirit.
The prophet come tell the boy to empty em pocket to appease the girl spirit.
Prophet come tell my sister (the younger one)to stand up, as she stand em come enter spirit o. The next thing em say "You take ring and money from friday come say you no go marry am again, friday sef even send your brother go school for london(meanwhile we dont have a broda o) now friday don vex, abi na lie, (my sister wanted to make fun of him) she come reply, "no be lie.
Em come tell our eldest sister to stand up(she was serving then). Pointing to my two sisters he said, "una see This two girls, dem no wan go school, na for hotel dem dey stay, abi na lie? My younger sister replied "No be lie". Prophet come tell them to use hand hit their leg come shout "waka waka stop", na so my younger sister shout" Waka waka stop". Na so our eldest sister vex o, come shout say she be graduate.
Na so our eldest sister vex o, come talk say, she be graduate and her sister dey year two. She come drag my uncle and younger sister comot for the church,as dem reach gate dey wait for car, the first boy wey dey man tell say em engage girl come run come met them. Em come tell them say em never engage any girl all em life,Na so my sisters tell am say dem sef no get broda and dem dey go school. The boy come beg them transport fare as em don empty em pocket to please spirit way em no know.
My people my sisters reach house tell us o, we laugh die. Na so the story end sha. Abeg make una forgive my Gbagaun dem o.
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GIST TEN
JOLLOF RICE DISAPPOINTMENT
Everybody eku odun oooo
This one happen to me recently,so I get one big sis wey invite me to one
wedding like dat,she say na court wedding say na only reception I go
just come.she tell me say JOLLOF rice go dey and every every.I happy
no be small I don check my ghana must go nothing to wear I don quickly
go arrange one toks(okrika) gown like that,dry clean am put starch
with my small savings.
Nai I call this my Big sis on saturday morning oo nai sis tell me say make I no worry say next time.I cut call,call her back again con dey beg her maybe I don offend her oo,she said no that I should be enjoying xmas at home.I just tell her thank you and cut the call.
Meanwhile I don even promise my friends to bring JOLLOF for them,they call me I no gree pick,they con find me come house.
As they reach naso I change face na dem con dey ask me wetin do me ,I
just lie give dem say I sick,they con dey pity me sef.They now ask me
how far I tell dem say na since midnight nai the sickness hook me,e no
even reach 10 minutes dem don stand up they go.
Caro and clara(not real name)no even tell me bye bye sef.
God no go let party JOLLOF kill pesin.
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GIST ELEVEN
BAD MARKET
Good day Stella merry Christmas and a prosperious new year in advance.
This is my gist
My friend told me that he discovered that his dad doesn't like giving someone something during the day, but he does during the nite. That he was the 1st to discover it.
He said he shouted 1 nite when everyone was asleep (yee yee yee) his dad rushed into his room kilosele kilosele? Domino's pizza ni ooo, kilosele si? won ti package eee won fee gbe fun mi ni ooo, ma gba eran aje ni ma ra fun eelola
The next day his dad took him to Domino's and he bought all he wanted to buy for him.
When he got home he told his sister his sister also did the same thing (yee yee yee) kilosele? iphone 6 ,infinix zero kilosele si? won ti wrap eee won fee gbe fun mi ni, ma gba ooo eran ajeni ma ra fun eelola the next day her dad bought everything for her so they continued like that until 1day their mum destroy their parol she shouted (yee yee yee) kilosele kilosele range rover sport kilosele si won fe gbe kokoro eee lemi lowo
he said shey oti laju? Mi ti laju gba gbogbo wa la need ee ni inu ile yi...
Ori gbogbo yin ti daaru.
ReplyDeleteGist 11 your so called gist was told at an event I went to last week by the MC.
You're taking this thing too far now, but me sef dey vex
Delete*Larry was here*
Ko tie dun
DeleteOri won ti daru big time
DeleteNonsense gists
Lmfao @ ur 1st line. Kikikiki!
DeleteEnglish is a borrowed language I know but I can't stand poorly written or spoken English. Jeez I had migraine reading these
DeleteLol @dopple oro yen ma ka yin lara gan o...
DeleteHahahahaha.. Doppelganger ti binu
DeleteOya you people should take turn in slapping each other...from gist 1 to 11*whats this?
DeleteOri won ti scarra tooto...just negodu all this dry gist.
Delete@Doppelganger, it was ur comment dat made me to laugh...lolzzzzz. No be by force to. Write gist I beg. Reading IHG these days dosnt frick me anymore
DeleteI vote for gist 8
ReplyDeleteHow am I suppose to vote for a gist I don't understand??
DeleteYou say something in another language and don't interprete in English??
Abi you think is only one tribe that visits the blog??
Gist 8. I could picture it lol. I vote for her.
ReplyDeleteDidn't read d former and I'm not about to read d rejoinder.
ReplyDeleteOkay. So why comment?
DeleteI thank God for you for not reading any
Delete*Larry was here*
"Yawns" boring
ReplyDeleteBoring week.
DeleteI bet you, no winner this week..so so not-funny gist...nonsense
ReplyDeleteDint enjoy any jare,the last gist was more of Yoruba language...please next time,try to write in pidgin or English.This ain't a Yoruba blog...thx.
ReplyDeleteThat gist 11 is a waste for us that dnt understand yoruba mtcheww.
DeleteNo winner for me sorry.
Everybody has 'went' to sleep? Lmao
As in eh. Mtchew
DeleteOh shut up!
DeleteGist ti de lollll
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to comprehend these gists when delivered in pidgin. It's okay to chip in some lines of pidgin here and there, but full gist? Haba! My head hurts
DeleteYou people won't allow someone enjoy your gist, y send it ur local language eeeh
ReplyDeleteMimigabagbakiloshe ..... ogini bu ihe nka
This weekend ihg is as watery as d poo dt came out from my small ass this morning
Warehell meeh
Stella born that 5k
Vote n get diarrhea
Burn
DeleteBone
DeleteKikikiki @evrybody has went to bed... chai, see gbagaun.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say to this people self
ReplyDeleteLooooool Gist 11
ReplyDeleteMake una fear God small na. which kin rubbish gists be this na???.mtchew!!
ReplyDeleteI vote the chicken run gist.
*no condition is permanent*
Gist seven is not a gist but an amebo.
ReplyDeleteMtcheeeeeeew.. annoyingly dry!
ReplyDeletei vote for Gist 8
ReplyDeleteGist 8...meeeh, I can imagine the scene
ReplyDeleteI vote gist 1. Btw gist 3 what is that? n gist 11 how do u want people who aren't yoruba to understand your gist.
ReplyDeleteGist 9.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAnyway..the hustle is real.
If I must vote....jibiri jibiri meat has it...
Gist 11...what's with the excess Yoruba....you couldn't even translate...
I vote gist 11, I was just laughing all tru, my mum sorta believes in stuffs like that, especially eating in d dream, she will make sure she prepares that exact food for u in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI vote gist 11
**SDK cute lil sis**
Everybody has went to bed indeed...lmao. If you dont have gist it's not by force please. Stop creating fake gist. Aeegurl...
ReplyDeleteHmmmm....beta days ahead
ReplyDeleteThis weeks gist doh. All dry. No winner for this week. Try harder next week.
ReplyDeleteGist8 lol
ReplyDeletelol...I vote gist 11... I don't understand this week's gist though... e dry pass dry fish!
ReplyDeletei am votings for gist six of yesterdays titles *they running chickens*abi chicken runs....more like what my younger sister will does
ReplyDeleteStella abeg no edit am again... LMAO!! "everybody has went to bed" "this incidence happen". And if na mama peace now una go don carry am reach CNN
ReplyDeleteI was eating while reading gist7, immediately I read "everybody has went to bed" I burst out laughing, now my bedsheet is stained. Stella, u have to go back to editing these gists o
DeleteGist 11 liar liar
ReplyDeleteNo b by force to tell joke wey funny
Shior
SIHG is losing its vigour. All boring jokes!
ReplyDeleteKposhikposhi Gist.
ReplyDeleteIt's kuku not by force...
ReplyDeleteNone worth 10cents.
MINX
I vote gist 8
ReplyDelete9
ReplyDeleteI vote for Gist 9
ReplyDeleteEven d yoruba wey em use write am sef me wey b yoruba no undastand am,anyway I go manage vote for gist 6 d running chicken abi weytin b d title gan sef cus all d gist 4 sat nd sun dey vry boring gan ni no b small.
ReplyDeleteGist 11. Should ve been more considerate tho. Language barrier
ReplyDeleteI vote gist 8
ReplyDeleteDry like stock fish
ReplyDeleteUna weldone
ReplyDeleteBoring
ReplyDeleteWould have loved to translate gist 11 to English, but you people won't get the humour. Next time sender just translate the line that has Yoruba to English, as the Ibos do it.
ReplyDeleteDoppelganger, I guess you've started loosing it since the Slum Book post.
De de mi ra o, if you like come back here to cuss yourself out.
A le rii o tito nle ka ma so(literally, the truth is bitter)
Gist 9. This is my first time of voting
ReplyDeleteGist 9.
ReplyDeleteGist 9.
ReplyDeleteGist 9
ReplyDeleteGist 9
ReplyDeleteGoodluck to all who sent gists!
ReplyDelete