Sunday In House Gists..

Saturday in house gists HERE.

I have decided to reduce amount of entries each day...both Saturday and Snday gists will not be more than four each from next week.If you sent in your gist and its not yet up,please look forward to Next week....Yipeeee!

GIST NINE

MAKE UNA COME OOO,THEM PLENTY"

  Hi Stella,I commented with this gist under the Ebola dog in house gist about 3 weeks ago and from the replies I had,I decided to send it in.

When I was about 8 years old,we lived in a block of 4 flats and the landlord had a bungalow beside the block. Our flat was the first downstairs and closest to the landlord's house.

 All I remember was my late mum shoving my two siblings and I under our respective beds.She laid down beside me under my bed and I could hear the gateman screaming loudly in Estako language ":WA VARE YOO,,E BUMI OOO"( MAKE UNA COME OOOO,THEM PLENTY OOOO)..of cos no one came o.sleep vanished and I pressed against my mum under the bed.

   My mum was silently " kabashing" under the bed.she was speaking in tongues quietly until the break of dawn when we came out cos we were hearing the voices of the other tenants.The gateman was tied up like a mermaid (legs and hands together) immediately he was untied,he left.He never came back.For a long time,we used to joke about it.

  Miss you mum...and your kabashing.

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GIST TEN

Na Rat Chop Am

Stella of life....I salute ooo....so this is my in house gist o. I was

in primary school then in a semi town. One particular day, my teacher

preached to us against stealing. I was a good boy and I listened

carefully. That particular day, after school, I didn't meet my mum at

home. I checked inside the fridge, saw plenty pieces of fried meat...it

was very very plenty. Hmmm, I took one, soaked garri and I was okay.

After thr first round of garri, went back into the fridge to take another.

This time, I was chewing it small small while going out to meet Ahmed

my neighbour. Ahmed saw the meat and he became interested. Give me small

now he said, I did. We weren't satisfied.and then I went back to get

more. More and more until it dawned on me say Na  2 pieces the meat

remain. I no even feel any conscience, me just go continue to dey

play.

 An hour later, Na  ear mama com draw  me from Ahmed side with

big abara for my back...Yinka, who took all the meat in the fridge, she

shouted...I just dey sob dey deny, mummy its not me oooo, eku lo je(Na

 rat chop am). Thank God am still alive ooo...the kind beating no be for

this world oo...with slaps and cane.mum was a teacher. She com dey

shout 'so you mean to tell me rat open fridge chop my meat abi'. After

some minutes, my teacher that preached to us about stealing came to my

rescue...I was so ashamed though but since then, I no dey do obvious

stealing again ooo.

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 GIST ELEVEN

Nurse is calling you.

Mrs kokorkus...Bonjour ooo...This is my in house gist. It was back in

primary school, I was a boarder in pry 4. Na my papa throw me there

oooo. I was a cool kid and with my provisions, I also brought some

malaria drugs and paracetamol. 

Papa don instruct me on how I go use dem when needed. So on this particular day, a boy was complaining about headache and me being a mini pharmacist, I decided to help. I gave him paracetamol and that was it. I was feeling like a doctor.

The next day, someone was looking for me, it was him. I thought he wanted to show appreciations ni o, Na  so the boy talk say Nurse dey call me. Say

Wetin? Wetin I do?. Then he said 'nurse said I should call someone that

gave me drugs to use'. Then I asked him if he wasn't feeling well ni,

he said the drug don hang for hin throat say the thing no digest. Chai,

naso I start dey sweat. Who send me message. I just tell am I go com see

nurse later, Na 2 days I use avoid nurse oo before she later saw me.

Com here Tobi, nurse said, so your papa Na doctor abi, I replied ''no ma,

Na  nepa''. She warned me never to give anyone drugs again. Anytime I see

the boy, I go just dey shake head dey murmur alakoba.

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GIST TWELVE

I DON DELETE WHATSAPP

Good day Stellalinda and SDKers.

My most embarrassing moment happened recently....

I was in the lecture hall with this my friend (Sarah). me and Sarah

dey talk dirty like say tomorrow no dey and we no get liver to even

follow man go chill ooo but if you hear us they talk you go say these ones

don kpafuka finish.

The lecture was kinda boring and i couldnt get the vegetable sauce i

prepared that morning out of my head. so i said let me inform my dear

friend that I am going home through whatsapp since it wont be funny if

prof catches me talking in his class.

hmmmn...as i opened whatsapp na so my village witches take over ooo.

Me and Sarah are active members of NFCS(Nigerian Federation Of

Catholic Students) and both belong to the whatsapp group chat.

As i open whatsapp i no know how I take see Sarah name for NFCS group

chat, na so I type "my toto dey scratch me, i wan go house go scratch

am" come send.

fiam! the tin go one hand.

Bad message wey dey quick send.  me i no even understand the fuck up oo till

my friend come point am out.

chai! i died and fainted...

I have long deleted my whatsapp sha  and my presido called that he wants

to see me. How do i explain to him?