Nigerians are sharing their Lagos experiences on twitter since yesterday and they are friqqin hilarious!..... Haha
Are you a Lagosian? Have you been to Lagos before?
Oya let's share our Lagos experiences
#MyLagosExperiences.
Monday, December 14, 2015
121 comments:
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Funny people
ReplyDelete#myexperienceinlagos I boarded a bus going to mile 12 instead of mile 2. They can't open their mouth to call bustop.
DeleteI have misplaced 2 phones in Lagos that I can't even explain when and how it was taken.just to drop from the car go inside the market and come back to the car.no phone again
DeleteWhat about those cab men that knows u are a novice and start driving u round only to charge u thousands of naira.
What more can I say about Lagos that people don't already know.
Buahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha
DeleteLagos is bae
I swear, all true. I miss Lagos sha. Ewa agoyin n agege bread first tin in d morning. Mtchew I love Lagos
Delete#myexperienceinlagos if you have a car and danfo has no mark on it then you're not in lagos
DeleteLol, I can't survive in Lagos. I too like body..#Ajebotinz
DeleteI can relate to that of a yoruba woman entering with 5 children just on a sit and me helping with one.
DeleteWhen you enter bus and ask conductor for change and he says 'I no get, no worry, I go find give you'...only for you to remember after you have come down. Smh
DeleteIf u can drive in lagos successfully, u can drive anywhere in the world. Fact! You are a pro!!
DeleteLagos, the land of common sense and gra gra lol. Couldn't live anywhere else but here. Nahhh!!! I love lagos.
That's why I'm sisi eko!
OK bye
Lmao......I can relate to almost everything up there. Lagos is the truth mehn
ReplyDeletelmao! I can relate with everything there. It's in this lagos that I saw that u can actually lap an adult in a bus. Growing up in the east,i never saw dat. U lap only kids. But here,u see grown ups lapping themselves in public bus Ife di na lagos. I think every bus stop in lagos has either a man or woman with kids begging for 50 naira to complete t.fare and u give and come back d next day,he/she/they are still begging for d same amount. All na hustle.
DeleteThis reminds me o. I swear I had a funny dream today. That I was in Imo State, was on a busy market road where people were hustling for Xmas market. Then somehow, I found myself in the government house with Okorocha.. I was waiting with a bunch of people to see him (don't know what for). All of a sudden..one man from. Nowhere came and started to beat Okorocha...that he stole his xmas money or something silly like that. Very meaningless dream. Even narrating it sounds stupid. Lol. But I just remembered now.
DeleteLol. U eat sleep so?
DeleteOne cannot "Fast" and drive in this Lagos, if u aren't cussing, sm1 is cussing u. If u don't hit sm1, sm1 will hit u. Talk about the yellow bus' and their drivers, mad human beings! They must leave that yellow paint on ur car as "welcome to Lagos" trade mark.
ReplyDelete#MyLagosExperince# the 1st time I saw these women that wears black with face cover at ojuelegba, I ran it's was when d woman laughed plus people ard me shouted **this one Na JJC o** d shame of that day ehee. Hahahahahahhaah
DeleteLagos is Bae jare!!!
Lmao @chyadaJesus. There actually masquerades like that in the east lol
DeleteLagos, where street urchins that cannot drive instruct u on how to park ur car. Lagos, where someone will always use their hand to dent ur car. I hate that thing ehn
DeleteFirst day I visited Lagos, I waited for over 2hours waiting for Oshodi bus. My brother who was to pick me up kept calling why I haven't arrived. I told him there was no Oshodi bus. He laughed and said, oh no! You will not hear Oshodi. Those ones calling Oshid Oshid is the one. I would had waited there till infinity. Even when I finally got one, I refused to enter the bus as I expected them to park properly. 4 buses passed and it was same, I had to summon courage follow jump. O girl, see laugh. I almost fell out
ReplyDeleteLol!
DeleteHahahahahahahaa @ oshid oshid
DeleteHaha.. Same experience here...
DeleteI can so relate to this one,had to wait for hours at the bus stop,because the conductor kept calling all the routes together in dat their language,but with time I got used to it oo
DeleteLmao @ oshid oshid! ! See me saying it out..lol
DeleteHahahahaha very funny experience
DeleteLol...A friend of mine who is visiting frm Imo boarded aa bus to ikorodu from Ojuelegba, I told her to alight at the last bus stop, so when the bus got to the last stop, the conductor was shouting 'gbogbo ero bole' she refused to come down because she was expecting d driver to pull and say that's the last bus stop. Na so dem reverse carry her back to ojota oh and she still mumu der dey wait for last bus stop. I had to tell her to wait at ojota for me. Can't forget that day
DeleteHahahaha...osho lo osho is what u will be hearing. If u are new in lagos,u go wait tire for bus stop before it will dawn on u that all d buses that have bn passing where actually going to ur direction. Conductors never pronounce these places well.
DeleteHahaha
DeleteIt happened to me countless times. Bwahahahahaha...
DeleteWhen I was going to camp, same thing happened to me. I was hearing yana paja yana paja, I was so confused and that was my first visit to Eko
DeleteNot funny.
ReplyDeletePele, na d harmattan dey affect u
DeleteHahahahahahaha momo
Delete#myLagosExperience you will be walking on your own, person we dry inside car go wind down, throw kiss give you! TFY!!
DeleteYaba boys?? How dare you price their goods and walk away, you are finished!
All those Mallams way dey shitta nko?? In fact, I don weak!
So on this day, we were headed to marina, stuck in a slight traffic, this guy approached and asked for "the phone", shoo?! I simply had to gently hit the person in front of me. Dude came out to know why, Na so my 'phone robber'tear race. No be person say make me wind up!
Eko o ni baje o!
...or was it when I recently started working in Marina? Boarded a bus around Suru, #100. On getting to Ijora, fare changed to #150. Shoo?! Be like everybody way dey d bus no dey go anywhere...
Deletedriver: if u no dey pay #150, abeg come down.
Passenger(s): no be wetin we gree o.
Driver: (offs engine) I no go again.
Passengers: if you know where you from pick us, carry us go there.
I bet they were thinking it wasn't possible.
Driver: (ignition on, reverses, conductor locks door).
Me: Oga, I wan come down.
(silence).
That was how we were packed back to starting point (mile 2). Even those of us that met them on the way.
#myLagosExperience
Omg God oooo! K oval has killed me. See me laughing like a fool here. Everybody rushed to my side thinking im hurt,. Ur story is so damn hilarious oooo
Delete#My lagos experience#was in a bus going to ajah with my handbag bag on my lap was awake throughout the journey....Dont know how and when someone opened my bag and took my phone
ReplyDeleteDats wat u call d more u look d less u see...lol. sorry!!
DeleteHahahhaha,my dear Lagos experience na die!!! The traffic is just crazy.That's the one I can't stand.
DeleteHahhahahahhaha..
DeleteChoi! Had same experience oh. Same Ajah.. mine ws 2 phones sef.. it. Ws like jazz.. I ws weak.
DeleteLMAO! I still prefer Lagos though.
ReplyDeletewhen you enter bus and discovered your wallet and phone are no more inside your bag..... #MyLagosExperience
ReplyDeleteLol...
ReplyDeleteseen
ReplyDelete#GODWIN™
That's how I was waiting with my friends for a bus...
DeleteThe next thing I squint and see my friends screaming my name from a distance..
Turned out that you don't wait for bus to stop and pick you or drop you... you run after it and hop in and alight while the conductor is screaming Owa Owa...
Na so I dey look the bus wey dey move like Johnny just come.
My friends just came down and gave me the low down for another hopping experience.
Or is it the way I used to tuck my hand bag close to my stomach to avoid snatching thinzz? #MyLagosExperience
When you go to computer village to buy a good phone and end up buying a phone that is made of Akpu.
ReplyDeleteOnce you buy phone there my dear check it front and back and after they must have packaged it, recheck it again especially the battery. They re not smiling at all.
DeleteThose ones are in another world oo
DeleteWhat about those that slap and collect handset through window of bus, as you dey make call that time gsm just comot
DeleteHaaaaaaa
DeleteHahahahahah that's my osha experience too
ReplyDeleteLol... @when someone hits you by mistake on the road and the first thing you check is if your manhood is still there..
ReplyDeleteWhen you hit Elegushi beach late in the night and you see igbo(weed) been hawked freely like gala in traffic#MyLagosExperience
ReplyDeleteLol... one time, I thought I had been converted to a prostitute... lol... see babes, atmosphere changed! Like it was smoke from exhaust pipes, Na home straight!
DeleteDamn Funny!!!! #mylagosexperience when you enter bus and forget your change with conductor because you are in a hurry!!!
ReplyDeleteChai!!!! I forgot #800 with conductor one time ehn, I no fit cry.
Hahhahahhaahhaa
DeleteHappened to me 2ce.
My last money was d N400 change.
Got down n remembad. Chai! Doh I cud get a Lift but how my money go loss?
Lucky dere was bad hold-up.
I trekked half of my life &met up wit d bus.
As born Eko babe then, na so I change tone, open eyes, moving my body to d rhythm of my demand. Hehehe I got my Pay.
Anoda was @Orile bustop. Passengers to bear witness don waka.
Conductor denied owing me. I wasn't in d mood to stress. I was busy speaking English language (conductor wanted to play). As I was abt to sulk n cry, he gave me my change o.
Xperiences oo poju
Lol, that okada own is so true i have fallen victim before chia...
ReplyDeleteI cn relate! Hahahaha
DeleteNever been to lagos tho, but been to other yoruba states
ReplyDeleteHian!!! Really?
DeleteNO EXPERIENCE BIKO....
ReplyDeleteI DISLIKE LAGOS...TOO OVER-CROWDED
CHYSUGAR...
Hhahhahaahhaahaha
ReplyDeleteLasgidi.
The only state you will be in traffic for 3hours and when you finally get ahead, you find out that the cause of the traffic is 'garden egg'
Haven't stopped laughing since I read that.
Lmaooo
I have been in a traffic for 8hours before only to find out there was nothing at the front... #ikorodu road I bow
DeleteWhen a passenger enters the bus and refuses to pay claiming to be a 'STAFF'
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha
DeleteAre you serious?
Na beating things na, Lagos conductors no dey carry last for that one
No o, the conductors usually agree oh. Its when more than one staff enters that they will ask, staff melo ni ma wa gbe
DeleteLagos na wa
ReplyDeleteLol.... I remember this movie
DeleteI miss my ex. I want to stop but I can't..smh
ReplyDeleteCome tk a hug, it's low self esteem I guess... move on dear I can tell u how...cheers
DeleteMtchewwwwww
DeleteEnd time experiences
ReplyDeleteTwitter on fire since morning.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to all.
What market would u rather go to today. Yaba or Eko Market. Pls go to Yaba, no near Eko, anything u buy now might not av a second pair or be complete. Mad rush.
Stella Kork...u missed some hot ones @aonanuga1956, @the_wundering, @j.moriarty very hot posts mehn.
My best Lagos experience...sitting or hanging on d lapse of 2 very fat women from Obalende to Ikeja. I looooooved it. Ws bouncing al thru d journey as d danfo meandered its way thru potholes . Kikiki.
My worst...on friday 11th dec, I spent 8 whopping hrs from d island to ikeja,, it took 3hrs to turn at 7up tollgate alone. Got home by 10:25pm n Mama-in-law snapped. Threatening fire n brimstone,n I ws not allowed to even reply? Haba mana. DH as usual locked me up n walked away wit d key. I for do 'plenty nonsense'. Am I d causer of traffic? I thank God, Peace reigned finally.
Eko Wengele !
Lmao @ ur best experience.
DeleteDoes DH lock you up anytime you have a tiff and walk away with the key?You wrote "as usual" na wa o.But you always seem to write how awesome your marriage etc is...
Delete@anonymous an awesome marriage could still have its challenges.
DeleteIf you read with understanding, you see that that act was to prevent her from razing down the house that peace might reign.
That traffic I'm sure was because of the camp thing. Last Friday wasn't the best day for anyone to near that area. I went thru the same axis early enough though.
DeleteLagos is a home both for the rich and poor.
ReplyDeleteLagos hard life
ReplyDeleteLol... Hilarious
ReplyDeleteWhen people going to work are busy struggling to enter a bus, criminals will be in their midst struggling to pick their pockets, that was how i lost my phone last year. #mylagosexperience
ReplyDeletevery true o...this one dey happen wella for oshodi
Deletei will never forget.it was environmental sanitation day.I had to catch a 2pm flight. I left from ayetoro where we went to see my aunt by 4am,hoping not to enter traffic jam yet we sat in the taxi till around 10am.#Mylagosexperience.
ReplyDeleteI bow for lagos the day my phone got stolen @ ojuelegba.still can't explain how it happened..
ReplyDeleteWorst part is, it happened on the 24th of december 2014.
Can't forget the palpitation of my heart..
My heart literally stopped beating for seconds!
Oh! The trepidation..
I learnt a vital lesson that day.
#mylagosexperience#
Lagos dislikes u right back honey, no hard feelings!
ReplyDelete#mylagosexperience when someone specially a guy stops to ask u for direction and u act all dumb for d fear of disappearing or turning to mumu and following him
ReplyDeleteHahahaha this is sooo true I do it alot after my first experience with all this aunty I just entered from blah blah... have blah blah things to sell,looking for a good Christian and all their trash.
DeleteHahahaha this is sooo true I do it alot after my first experience with all this aunty I just entered from blah blah... have blah blah things to sell,looking for a good Christian and all their trash.
DeleteLmaoLmao...this is me till date
DeleteLmao.
ReplyDeleteHilarious
ReplyDeletethelma enemuwe said...
ReplyDeleteIf e nor be lagos, e nor fit be like lagos @chysugar
My lagos experiences are too numerous...
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
Enter your comment...na Only Manhood dey disappear? Dem no dey thief Vagina join too? Jst asking! Juju wey fit disappear manhood go fit disappear womanhood too...lol
ReplyDeleteWhen someone's sitting is d short cut to a major road! #experienceinlagos
ReplyDeleteIn Lagos you need to be smart.
ReplyDeleteThose guys at Yaba that think because you're going to Iya Tega you want to buy bleaching cream
ReplyDeleteWhen someone asks u for direction to a place and u don't answer and walk away faster..they yaff come o..awon 419..#mylagosexperiece
ReplyDeleteLmao.....so funny
ReplyDelete#abbytohxoft
Where the guy sitting next to you in a bus keeps staring like he admires you not knowing that his hand is lost in your bag, aiming for your purse or phone.
ReplyDelete#lagos experience , stand still traffic just few miles away from the airport
ReplyDeleteMy friends mum, told me to come down from the car put me on top okada.... And told me my luggage will be on the way
As a fine babe having decked with heels, na so I climb the okada.
I shock. Lwkmd that day.
I slept at in a brt from maryland instead of dropping at onipanu,I woke up at costain had to take another BRT back to onipanu,my eyes was clearer than air#mylagosexperience
ReplyDeleteWhen a conductor insults a female and she replies,she is automatically an ashewo#mylagosexperience
Went to vgc and decided to trek down road2 thinking its palm avenue,I walk sotey I had to beg a guy on bicycle for a lift #mylagosexperience
I was in mushin market,somebody shouted fire fire,me and the stall owner run leave shop,even pregnant woman carry her belle with hand they run...#mylagosexperience
can't forget how my phone got stolen at Obalende while I still listened to music via its ear piece. lol... #onlyinLagos
ReplyDeleteThe second time my phone got stolen at Elegusi beach, just finished taking a selfie with leboo, a guy selling orbit and other gums and sweets approached us to patronize him, he left after we did and fiam, I couldn't find my phone. Looked around for him, but there were like a hundred guys selling orbit. Choi, e pain me sha, esp cuz of that last picture I never got to use as dp. hehehe
ReplyDeleteLagos,how I miss you
ReplyDelete#mylag0sexperience lee b00s car br0ke d0wn s0 he asked me t0 take a cap and wait f0r him at an eatery due t0 traffic I decide t0 jump 0n a bike hmmmm after a few miles my 0gada man n0w st0p t0 pick an0da passenger wh0 happens t0 be a guy.chai na dia I begin sh0ut kidnappers 000h. Ppl rush t0 d scene 0nly t0 disc0ver dat I be JJC. Chai the shame n0 be here. I had t0 pay d0uble the am0unt f0r him t0 carry me al0ne. Dat very m0ment I realized jt0wn(j0s) was bae. See me see craze 000h
ReplyDeleteLmao
DeleteMy lagos experience... when u are jejely walking on the road and one guy comes up to u and say... sister, my uncle sitting over there said I should call you. imagine that!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEko ilu ogbon.
Hahahahah....
DeleteIt's only in Lagos that you'll shout at any1 asking for direction coz of fear of 419
ReplyDeleteOnly in Lagos that you'll see an abled-bodied man/woman begging
ReplyDeleteLmao, I can so relate to the unity brought about with change. I hate is like mad. I remember a day I was going from mile 2 to Ajah and a woman sat beside me with her daughter.. halfway into d journey she started sharing stories dat touch that her baby hasn't eaten and all that and her baby eats only cerelac and sma. I gave her money even told her to go and apply in a company then so she can help her family. Fast-forward two weeks, she called me again that her baby food is finished nd she wants to buy another one! Haaa!!! Imagine o, I even said she shld buy ogi since she can't afford the expensive ones and she said No o dat she can't give her baby ogi except cerelac. Nyways I knew her kind nd ignored her. Lagosians and their wayo
ReplyDeleteI was born in lagos..but never been to lagos.
ReplyDeleteSdk abeg help me confirm this news.. Heard biafra is coming down to Lagos on Wednesday and Thursday. . Abeg how true is dat?
ReplyDelete#MissVa3lla
...Can't wait to visit Lagos again.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am walking at night and a man on an okada speeds by, swoops down and snatches my handbag #MyLagosExperience *tear*
ReplyDeleteI can't forget the day my gold chain and phone was stolen inside my bag in front of HICC Gbagada... I almost fainted
ReplyDeleteLol.
DeleteNight time I guess?
@Anony 18:58...just finished a skype call wit a Bv n my attention ws drawn to ur comment. Let me break dis pain down for u, so u jubilate less. I stammer a lot n when I get into a bickering of any sort I cry a lot, u will barely hear me well n I get to crack things. So to avoid people seeing that other side of me DH will lock me up n walk away wit d keys. It means I should calm down, take a shower, pray n get a sleep. While he gets back to whoever to settle d iissh. Then at 5am he will wake me up to a DEEP talk. I can't tell u wat his Mum said, u are not FAMILY. He knew she ws wrong, but didn't want me to PROVE anything. Since fri nite till now his mum has called me 3thrice n apologised 2ce. And during Lunch on sun he dropped a Bombshell for his 2 sisters who came over, to let them know dat ISSUES about his wife is Still a No-Go area. Evrytin is fine now. We attended d Donell Jones Black tie event last nite wit his sister n got home in d wee hrs today. I got to work at 10:30am today. So rejoice not. I saw all d mails in my inbox. Some happy I CRIED, some wishing d marriage will pack up. No wahala. What Stella dis was TELEPATHY, I just ranted, cried some more n went to bed. Is my marriage Perfect? NO. Is it Awesome? Yes. A big yes!
ReplyDelete@Lovely Hearts...thanks for d clarification. Don't worry ur head, most of these comments come from my 'so-called friends'. I'm munching n printing them. Will use d print at d right time. Thanks and goodnite.
Got to pray n sleep.
God hold me STRONG!
Don't I just love you??? #nohomo
DeleteSo na like this una want end this funny gist with serious talk? Lai lai, abeg commenters add more lag experiences abeg. Viije
Delete