Some people were not born with a heart !
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
BLOWING THE WHISTLE ON ONE'S SELF
Dear Sister Stella ,thank you for this platform..please hide my email.i have been meaning to send this Chronicles for a while.i want people to learn from it and be contented with what they have...
I am a proud southerner. I am almost rounding up my university education in a very good university up north.i am 26,my boyfriend is 30.after his university education,he went into construction n is doing well for himself.we have been together since my 100l but deep down inside me I wanted a man from my geo political zone because my people are tribalistic and wont accept my ibo boo.i love my boyfriend but I decided to explore and I met Otonye.
He just finished his masters,42 single never been married.after some months with him.he asked me to marry him but I said no.i was bidding my time.he was so loving but I couldnt leave my boyfriend!
Then I accidentally found his anti retroviral drugs.i almost died!
he begged,apologising that he made a mistake not telling me cos he didnt want to lose me.i felt so foolish and stupid. The whole of that year I was always at the hospital even when the doctor told me for the 99th time that I was negative.
God saved me.....
That was 4 years ago.I went back to my boyfriend quietly and both of us are clean.i have been faithful since but now my problem is this!
my boyfriend and i are getting married at the end this month,December.should I tell him what happened?
if he ever knows I have been with another man.i know he will break up with me.my friends dont see any reason why I should tell him.please what should I do.i have prayed and asked God for forgiveness!
All colours of pen and cussing are allowed!
Thank you all!
Are you for real?You are asking us if you should tell the man you are marrying in about two weeks that you yanshed someone who had HIV but you scaled through and you are clean?
You are asking us this?Please go ahead and tell him and dont forget to include the number of times you slept with him.
Some people just like drama in their lives.Your friends already know?
Well thats another problem with sharing this kinda secret,if you fall out with them or get too successful,they will help you spread it on.
Good luck,learn to have a mind of your own and learn to bridle your mouth.
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DEALT A HEAVY BLOW BY THE ONE YOU LOVE..
Hi Stella,
I Am currently lying on my bed, with soooo much anguish in my heart and tears in my eyes. I've been this way for days now, the past few weeks have been horrible. If I was suicidal, I would be dead by now.
Am a working class lady of 25,i work with one of the construction companies in Nigeria.I was actually single till I met this guy last year through a senior colleague, hes 35. He was everything I'd been praying for. He was loving,caring and a devoted christian.
.....Plus he makes me happy.
He had a surgery that kept him hospitalised for months and for most of that time, I practically lived with him in the hospital,he couldn't do things for himself at all, I dd everything. I spoon fed him, cleaned him,changed his clothes, even the other really nasty smelly thing........yeah!
I helped him with that as well. I took care of him,i went to work from the hospital and at the end of the day, i'd come back to the hospital. My clothes were in the hospital so I didnt go home for weeks at a time. He too was good to me and always helped me both morally and financially. Few days after he left the hospital, I noticed some very weird behaviour and when I asked him, he wouldn't tell me. I was already pretty close to his friends so it didnt take long for them to tell me what was really going on.
I confronted him and he told me that his sister is against him marrying me because hes from Abia and i am from Enugu. That she said he must marry from Abia too. I cried about it and decided to leave everything to God. Some days later, I noticed he was making so much calls to a number he saved as chocolate, I asked and he said she was his cousin.
I got really suspicious and decided to snoop a little.
I found out he had changed the name he used to save my number, he had changed it to my full name and had deleted most of my pics, when I asked, he feigned ignorance and promised to find out who messed with his fone!#BigFatLie#.
I read a chat between him and a friend of his, in the chat, he was talking about this same girl he saved as chocolate. He had been seeing this girl for awhile and I found out he was just using his sister to cover up, he said hes not a whimp and hs sister can never get him to do something he doesn't want to .
I feel stupid, mostly because my elder brother warned me never to devote so much time to one man,i have never been much for double dating and I always thought being honest with someone you love is the true sign of love.
I truly hate myself now, he has obviously moved on and I can't, it's affecting my job. I've tried going to the chapel to spend some time with God and get my life under control but it seems like am losing it. From what he told his friends, he thinks I was trying to trap him into marriage, while its everyone's dream to marry someone they love, I had reasons to say no if he had proposed, which he didnt. He saw the birthday gifts I got him as a trap,even the bed sheet I got him had sinister motives as far as he was concerned.
I love wholeheartedly but I don't stifle. We don't even stay in the same state so there was no room for that. Was actually even his friends and relatives who bring up marriage talks, I noticed he wasn't comfortable with such talks and when they asked when we would be getting married, i'd just laugh and tell them God hasn't said yet.
Stella i've never been this much in love and it's driving me crazy. I feel like an idiot, I feel played. I've been praying and praying and asking God to give me a reason to smile this month. I don't want him anymore, i'd never lied to him for the almost 2 years we dated but he made lying to me a hobby.honesty is important to me. I believed so much in him, still can't believe he'd cheat on me.
I just need to know how to stop hurting so much, I need to know how to stop loving him. I need to get my life back. He keeps apologising but I know he is only sorry he got caught. He needed me to wait on him, to be at his beck and call,he needed me to take care of him. He had his surgery in a hospital in the town where I reside while the girl is in a different state.
How do I get out of this,? I've tried keeping busy, praying, even Google. Nothing is working. I can't even look at any other guy because I keep trying to see if theres a part of him in them.
Gosh!!!!!
I hate myself right now.
Sorry for the long mail, but believe me this is the short version.
Guess what sweety?The next time love finds you,you wont remember this wall gecko who has broken your heart.I felt your pain..I am so sorry.
Getting back up on your feet shouldnt be difficult,if you aided in nursing his sorry ass back to good health then you can do it for you...Pick up your heart and be strong.
You were too good for him!
Try to occupy yourself with reading and watching movies and work...watch love stories and read love novels,it helps heal faster but you are gonna cry a lot.
Good luck.
Reading comments.
ReplyDeleteBrb!
******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS******
Babes there are some secret u re suppose to die with, you told your friends? Chaiiii, remember frenemies are everywhere, trust no man, my fear for you now is those your friends might later open your can of worms, you are negative, regret your actions and has begged God for forgive, hold it there, before u use your hand destroy your relationship Internet Explorer.
DeletePoster2, come hug me sweety, i was near tears reading your chronicle, just like i was in d scene watching quietly, the bitter truth is, had it been u guys ended up marrying, the marriage would have be broken few months or years after, he is not the man for u, yeah he isn't, let's him go, if he can do without you, you can do without him, time heals all wounds, cry all u want, but be rest assure this too will pass, put yourself together and go closer to God, he has never fail and your will not be an exception, it will only get better.
****LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS****
Nigerians and their one sided advice.... You'all are so religious, yet when it comes to WWJD (what will Jesus do?) You'd ignore what he'd do an choose wat the devil will whisper to u, not even wat the devil will do, is that wat the scripture tell u?? Keep secrets, so u don't miss ur husband. Hypocrites.
Delete35 year old woman, you better start considering becoming a baby mama oh, cus ur clock is seriously ticking, ticking u into menopause, and yet ure here wasting precious time on SDK, stella is happily married if u don't knw... Mumu, disgracing women up n down, sheer daily stupidity. No wonder sum guy tale advantage of u ladies, even wen u see red flag, you wldnt know wat the colour means, emjay will say, it means flaming red love! Imbecile.
DeletePoster2: I can imagine how mch pain ure in right now, you're not only heartbroken but u feel used & blinded, this is no time to blame u sha, but I can swear thr were signs of this to come.... Women shld learn to ask the right questions at the right time, not 5yrs into the r/shp..... Be strong my dear, gradually, u'd heal again, pls don't lose ur job oh, its not worth it..... We cnt risk having another jobless Emjay begging all over the internet with no shame.
DeleteEiyahh Pele.... You'd be whole ones more, cry & move on, you can as well contact Emjay to educate u on how she moves on after each heartbreak, she has had serie of them, cus she's a mumu, they even fuck her on a 1st date, she initiates it oh, so tell me, hw will a guy take such a bitch serious.... All he does is copy my punchlines & use later, wat a cow without milk.
DeleteEmpty sand sand brain. @ 35 no work, no husband, no hope, beggy beggy debtor.
DeleteU know yourself. Olodo. Somehow face.
Hello, please I need a tailor urgently. He/she should be located around cms as that is where d service is needed.call 09053358303 now if you are a tailor. Thanks
DeleteEvery thing has been said. .
Delete@anon 15:55, mumu she said she was 25.How is she disgracing women? If you don't have anything constructive to say STFU. Stop coming here to make your insignificant life mean something by iinsulting somebody.
DeleteP1: You told your friends? Because?? Negodu
DeleteP2: It's difficult to move on but that's just what you'll do. Moving forward, I wish you joy & happiness.
Anon 16:02, use ur id naa, since bomb dey ur head, did u say punchlines? Emjay u knw u don't need to reply em right?
DeleteDear,I understand how you feel,so darling cry like you never did before,write the idiots name and all the nasty stuff he did to you on a paper,light the paper and watch it burn,let all the pain and hurt burn along with it. After that get a makeover,change your hair style, do a pedicure and manicure and swag it out. He didn't deserve you.
DeleteNB.we are forgiving you this time around because it's your first time,next time we go flog shege commot from your body,these men ain't loyal naw,make you dey sofri offer your heart to dem ooo.we still love you sha.
Now it's very obvious anon 16:02 is sunshine, but why this serious hate,and i believe it's same anon 15:55 is same person, sunshine stop the hate, or are yhu been paid for it.
DeleteDon't you think this attack on em jay is ridiculous and making you look like a fool? Anonymous for life!
Deleteoster 1: So ur parent finally accepted ur igbo boo's hand in marriage? You shld had made that findings earlier but u preferred to sample. U better place urself on retroviral drugs incase the virus u are in ur incubation period (could be u ve contacted but yet to matured). For telling hubby or not, I am not a team secret/cheat, I leave that to the Bosses and Queens of this blog.
DeletePoster 2: Nne, u ve got my kind of heart and a beautiful one at that. U are a tressure to a true man.That guy has no conscience if not he suppose to worship the ground u walk on. People like him ends up in miserable marriage. You best asset is, you have invested love and u will reap it in no time.
Smile on, God have got ur back. U ve nothing to worry about. The greatest gift in the world is love and that u did. When he was sick, u cared for him. Hungry u fed him. I ve been there before and u can never waste invested love. Please smile on. I see ur hubby locating u soon. In my case, hubby located me while I was heart broken. He came along holding my hands and took d pains away from my heart by giving me an unending smiles and love I doubted it ever existed. U know why? I reap the love I sowed. Love is never wasted. No ill feelings dear, smile on. U are not being fooled but he had paved a way for you to be blessed. God has seen ur heart, ur tears and ur man is being prepared to locate u soon. Never regret the love u gave. Ehugs
Na wa o, what has emjay ever done to u guys to make u hate her this much? It's just not fair d way y'all throw insults at her.
DeletePoster 1: STFU. He doesn't need to know expect u don't want ur marriage ceremony to take place. Ur biggest mistake was telling ur friends, u berra be careful of those friends least they help u out.
Poster 2: doh, u'll be fine, he doesn't deserve u. Cry if u must but pls don't watch any romantic movies o, they'll only make u cry harder. It'll take time but u'll definitely be fine, just put ur trust in God and keep praying with time all this will be a thing of d past. Doh o.
Stella, is this Ur new year resolution of advising posters with passion. Meeeehn u try no be small. What a change of attitude. Kip it up Mrs korks.
DeleteDon't kill ur self on top emjay
DeleteMater ooooo! Foolish anon.
Poster 2, I understand wht ure going tru.. I can feel ur pain cos I was once in ur shoe. In my own case,I traveled to ph... D few months I spent in ph, I was so faitful to him cos I loved him.. Even wen other guys came to me, I rejected dem all cos, I thought he would be faithful as well... But wht later happened? He started acting funny but I just kept my cool. I knew something wasn't just right. I came back nd d guy gave me a cold shoulder, he claimed dat he could no longer go on with d relationship cos his parents doesn't want him to marry me. I cried my eyes out.. After some weeks, I found out dat he was actually lying. He cheated on me with his ex wen I was in ph nd got her pregnant. He just couldn't face me with d truth dat was why he came up with dat lie nd broke up with me... Eventually, he married his ex but, he's still regreting his actions untill now.... As for me, I've dusted myself nd I've moved on.... So move on! Don't waste ur tears on dat man... He isn't worth it.
DeleteOn a second thought Poster 1; what if ur supposed HIV guy is faking it and purposely left d retroviral drugs where u will see it and flee. Setup I mean
DeleteEmjay is a star!!! When people hate you that much then know there is something so special about you. Emjay keep ignoring hateful comments. You are the better person. Much love. Mrs LS
DeleteStellz I gbadu ur replies. Posters 1&2 follow Stella's advice.
DeleteLa Sweet dts a good point on possibility oooo. Our young n older men sha!
DeleteMy dear, poster1, it's not all dt meets d eyes dt d ears shud hear. Not all times shud d truth be told. No lies but silence is best. Abbeg lock up ur conscience. Just dt telling ur friends even if it's 1 babe is d error. Older oposit sex tend to keep secrets. Minwile anytin outside ur mouth hardly stays as secret. Pls enjoy ur wedding and man.
Poster2, I so relate wit u. I ve been tru dis phase. 1tin I tel good pple who r heart broken: any man who let u go, or left u is a looser.
Please even if ur boo coms back to boost of his love for u, ABEG waka pass. He dint see u.
The kain guy is maried but he tels pple 'am d ex he missed getting married to".
Just be strong dear. Beta tinz ahead of wich wen it coms, u wud wanna spit dt u did love dis guy like dis.
Reach me.
U'd b strong.
La Sweet dts a good point on possibility oooo. Our young n older men sha!
DeleteMy dear, poster1, it's not all dt meets d eyes dt d ears shud hear. Not all times shud d truth be told. No lies but silence is best. Abbeg lock up ur conscience. Just dt telling ur friends even if it's 1 babe is d error. Older oposit sex tend to keep secrets. Minwile anytin outside ur mouth hardly stays as secret. Pls enjoy ur wedding and man.
Poster2, I so relate wit u. I ve been tru dis phase. 1tin I tel good pple who r heart broken: any man who let u go, or left u is a looser.
Please even if ur boo coms back to boost of his love for u, ABEG waka pass. He dint see u.
The kain guy is maried but he tels pple 'am d ex he missed getting married to".
Just be strong dear. Beta tinz ahead of wich wen it coms, u wud wanna spit dt u did love dis guy like dis.
Reach me.
U'd b strong.
La Sweet dts a good point on possibility oooo. Our young n older men sha!
DeleteMy dear, poster1, it's not all dt meets d eyes dt d ears shud hear. Not all times shud d truth be told. No lies but silence is best. Abbeg lock up ur conscience. Just dt telling ur friends even if it's 1 babe is d error. Older oposit sex tend to keep secrets. Minwile anytin outside ur mouth hardly stays as secret. Pls enjoy ur wedding and man.
Poster2, I so relate wit u. I ve been tru dis phase. 1tin I tel good pple who r heart broken: any man who let u go, or left u is a looser.
Please even if ur boo coms back to boost of his love for u, ABEG waka pass. He dint see u.
The kain guy is maried but he tels pple 'am d ex he missed getting married to".
Just be strong dear. Beta tinz ahead of wich wen it coms, u wud wanna spit dt u did love dis guy like dis.
Reach me.
U'd b strong.
Poster 1 what's there to tell? Take your secret to the grave and if anyone spills deny deny and deny till death.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 move on already arrrrgh all this long epistle over someone who no longer wants you. Forget all the sacrifices you made, your reward is in heaven..LOL.
And tears are prayers too
DeletePoster 1
DeleteThe truth will always come out,its people like you they kill !! He will know one day..and he can murder you
Poster one pls tell him. U obviously don't want the marriage to happen so tell him already I beg. Poster 2 don't worry time heals everything. It's happened to so many of us and we all managed to move on and use those experiences as learning points. It is well
DeleteNa wa o, Stella ur blog with plenty of drama. Let me talk for the first time on chronicles lol,poster two, u can moove on. Like someone already told u ,look for fun, look very good, go shopping if u have d cash, make sure u catch just fun fun fun. Do not ever let him Catch u looking down or sad.make him wish he never cheated on u, flaunt ur New self on fbk or any other social media platform where u know He will see u, if u calls u, don't pick for awhile then pick up later and tell him u were busy with friends, don't rush to his calls or his house. Give him distance. He will surely come begging but by then you would have moved on with someone better. U can love and live again trust me.do not make urself look cheap no matter what u do...good luck girl
DeleteBoring chronicles
ReplyDeletePoster one you're so stupid I swear. Pls go and tell him but don't come back here with another chronicle of how he cancelled ur wedding. Foolish girl! And u even went to tell your friends too?! Don't worry in the end one of them will tell him for you. And don't use ur family as an excuse. You wanted to cheat, you cheated.
DeletePoster two my heart is bleeding for you. I'm hurt and pained. I feel like killing that man for you. That's how men are. Wicked and selfish. How could he forget the girl that was there for him in his time of need???!!! Was chocolate the one carrying his poo???!!! If you curse him it will work. Shame on him. It's not the end. God will give u a man that truly deserves you
Chai.
DeleteI could not even finish chronicle 2..had to run and type this.
You even let your friendsssss know? Smh!!!!!
And you call that a secret?
I'd rather my intended knows stuff about me than girlfirendsss..
Ayam sorry you do not have a secret. It will creep out someday..
Please don't tell me this info is safe with them. It is not.
Advice: No matter how badly you feel about something,how heavy your heart is..learn to prevent the spread of that info as much as possible..limit the number of ears that are privy to the info..this world is mean! Strategise even in your heartbreak/sorrow.
About divulging to your man..that is your decision hun. Lol,my epistle is about information dissemination and control 101 hehehehe
Lemmo go and continue reading!
1:Pls keep your girlfriends far away from your hubby. I learnt the hard way and lost a boo in times past. Learn to seal your lips with your friends. Also learnt the hard way.
Delete2: l've been there. What did I do? I poured my heart to God, asked for forgiveness and tried to treat myself with kindness, give yourself treats. Be patient. Time heals all wounds. Remember, if the fake boo is still there, your real and worthy boo cannot come. Take it easy.
Why can't women make their own decisions? Why do men make up their minds and never look back but women will be whinning and doing " what do I do?" even when the answer is in their face
ReplyDeleteThat's cus, women use only 3days senior goat.... Ppl like Emjay, goat senior them with 2days.
DeletePoster 1, abeg seal ur lips with the strongest glue!!!!
DeletePoster two,,,, I feel for you so much.... my dear try n be strong for yourself please..
God will send your own man to you... cheer up pls...
Lol. That's bcos women are mothers and they love with their hearts; good woman i mean
Delete1st poster , go for HIV test. 2nd poster, Pls be strong, and keep praying, All these we read sef, God have mercy
ReplyDeleteDo u read to undrstand at all?? She already did several HIV tests, and she's clean.
DeleteWhen I say some stupidity wear winter cap, e go be like say pesin just dey talk. Why can't we read and understand before commenting?
DeleteYou guys just won a free ticket to Dubai for the insults, can u face your business now?
DeleteWill u shattap!
DeleteWill u shattap!
DeletePoster 1- don't be stupid.
ReplyDeleteI take God beg you, 'shorup ur mouth' before you pour sand in your garri.
Bad enough ur spare tyre had HIV,God saved you and brought you out clean, you wanna spoil the good one with your tales.
See you still scared and going to the hosp to check and recheck that you are neg yet you want to tell your boyfy. How do you think he would feel?
I sorry for you
Poster 2- dust yourself and move on.
You christians are funny, saying "God saved me"...... He didn't save u from Fornicating abi?? Or those that contract the virus are not his creations, u were just lucky...... Its nt everythg u call God.
DeletePoster 1 never ever make the mistake of telling your secret,even in death,he must never know......never ever. infact assume in your head,as in convince your self it never happened.
Delete@poster 2 dust yourself up and try again. I know how you feel cause I av been there,and aat that stage in my life I hated every man,and I mean even one that has Pen.s. But be determined to overcome it and with time you ll be fine.
And you Muslims are saints. Bombing everywhere like killing innocent ppl is going out of fashion. Mcheeeeeeeew
DeletePoster one
ReplyDeleteSince u didn't tell him earlier,i see no reason why u will want to do so 2wks to ur wedding.
Ok na.Tell him.He calls off the wedding.How's the sound of that?mtscheew.
I know ur conscience is really at work here and i know how difficult it can be going into something this important 'unclean'.But the ball is in ur court.Tell him if u can stand d outcome
Poster 2
Awwwwwww....I felt ur pain right thru ds chronicle.Sorry dear.The asshole doesn't deserve u.You need to do everything u can to get out of this.Twill be very difficult being that u love him truly but u just have to get out of this phase fast.The lord is ur strength sugz.e-hugz from me to u
Poster 1, that 2nd guy is wicked o. How can he not mention that he has HIV n b sleeping with u?
DeletePoster 2, that guy is stupid n has no conscience. You packed his shit and he is cheating on you? If you hire guys to beat him up now, people will say that you are wicked
Well, Stella has said it all.
ReplyDeleteJesus is Lord.
Talk ur own, EmJay sister.
DeleteP1, see question of life. They are really on your case not to get married. Please tell him and tell his whole family too, you hear?
ReplyDeletePoster one, yes u can go ahead and tell him. I see you like talking a lot.
ReplyDeletePoster two, epele oh.
Sdk na badt advice be dat oh. Love films and novels ke? Babe will just keep weeping and wondering why hers is different from the one she is watching.
Babe na book of revelations u suppose dey read. Plus watch world war 2 films. They will help u. Becos u will realise other people have it worse than u.
Doh
Life goes on.
Eehya poster 2, I actually she'd a tear reading your chronicle. You ll be fine, eventually.
DeleteFeeling sleepy, will be back to read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,you are an olosho. Don't infect an innocent man with the deadly virus.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,why are you too desperate? Is it by force he marry you?
Hian!some people can be stupid o.so u didn't read the part whr p1 said she has done several tests n it turned out negative?
DeleteAnd u didn't notice p2 isn't even desperate to get married.
Mtchw goat go and fix ur brain
Anon 15:14 na yaba left you suppose dey. Lol some ppl self.
DeleteAnon 15:14 na yaba left you suppose dey. Lol some ppl self.
DeletePoster 1: We all are wired diffrently, the hardened ones will insult u for trying to confess to ur soon2b hubby, and the emotional ones will probably say "Pour ur heart out & free urself, if he trully loves u he'd 4gv you"..... If ure tye type that guilt can easily have u for dinner, I suggest u tell him now, & pray it dsnt ruin ur wedding date? Instead of telling him later wen ure already married, he just MIGHT still divorce you... The ball is in ur court!
ReplyDeletePoster 2: These are the times u'd so wish u cld turn back the hands of the time, cus you'd never act like a personal nurse working over time, for a man that knew deep down that he wldnt marry you, but wishes are horses!! Time is the ultimate healer, thrs nutn u can do dear, but wait for time to heal u gradually.... Always distract urself, not with romantic movies oh, or reading novels.... Watch action films intead. *hugs*...... You didn't deserve that wizard.
It's all been said.
ReplyDeletePoster one: You've asked God for forgiveness. He certainly has, so why don't you let go and concentrate on your prospective home.
Hopefully, this near HIV status has taught you about the dangers of 'chooking eye' somewhere else.
Happy Married life in advance.
Poster two: You would have committed suicide?
Maka why?
A guy that obviously doesn't give a hoot about you anymore?
Hian!
Sweetheart, heartbreaks are part of life.
It's not new nor exclusive to you.
Believe you me, you'd get over it.
If one could lose the love of their life to death and still get over it, how much more you, that he doesn't love anymore.
You'll be fine.
Books,novels, movies, taking yourself out to nice treats, lots of sobs and sniffles, and before you know it, you'll wonder why you were affected so much when he moved on.
It's well.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Poster one, how much was condom then? How can u meet someone n dive in skin to skin? Una get mind o! U lucky sha!
ReplyDeletePoster two u were d side chic....next time guard your heart.
U judgemental Blackberry goat.haven't a man hammer your something. skin to skin before and pour it seep inside?Or since u r not married. is ur something still intact the way God made it?
DeleteWell done money maker.
DeleteHahahahaha...anon 16:28 is money maker...
DeleteMoney maker,what happend nau?..come out of anony mode biko...
Poster no 2: love will find you. You write very well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteDon't even think of opening that your mouth and tell him rubbish...
Better keep this secret to your grave....
Poster 2,
So all these your epistle is because of a man...
I keep telling you girls to stop putting all your eggs in one basket...
Biko get up and stop sobbing...you are still 25 and trust me,someone somewhere is dying to have you...
Na wah oh!...I can't cry for a man like this not even my husband..
Linda, before you got this stone cold heart of yours you must have been hurt. So its her time of heartbreak, dnt make her feel stupid for lovin wholeheartedly. @poster 2 I just want to hug you and tell you it will be fine. You are a rare gem, but he dosent deserve you, look on the bright side you were saved from an emotionally abusive man, dnt change your caring nature bcos of one scum bag. The one for you will adore and love you for that caring heart of yours, nobody I mean nobody should take your shine, gradually you will heal trust me. An advice from someone who understands! Keep been good it will surly pay.
DeleteQueen and boss, it seems u and ur horseband are not in love. Smh
DeletePoster one is a fool my dear. She's already spoilt things for herself by telling her friends
DeleteMe sef I've learnt. I can never put all my eggs in one basket again. Cos men don't care. I feel so sad for poster 2
1.What's wrong with all this girls for God's sake..must you tell him you dated someone who had HIV.abeg ds your story just vex me now gerrout of here you fool.
ReplyDeletePoster2. Sorry bout what happened to you! It's really sad..I'd say try and move on but I've not been in your shoes so I cnt say if it's easy or nah. Well it won't be but the only thing you gotta do is MOVE ON! Trust me he will come back but by then it will be too late.stupjd niggas that don't know what they want.
Chai, Poster2, you would really be in severe pains, some guys are that heartless... i dont even knw hw to console you, pls dont turn to alcohol or revenge sex, it dsnt help at the end of the day.... take it one day at a time....
ReplyDeletePoster 1: why dont u ladies think? you were cheating and u cldnt even use a condom.... i wish this guy finds out n dumps ur sorry ass.
Poster 1, U want to set a trap for ur self by ur self. Go ahead. U have no one to blame.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I wish I were a man & still single. I would find you and make u mine. Forget dat punked arsed nigga. U will find a man dat will appreciate u soon.
Poster 2 , love will find you . I pray God heals your heart .
ReplyDeletePoster1......are u for real????? u want to carry your wedding over niii???? obirin sha!!!! Can't deal.
ReplyDeletePoster two, You mean you cant keep your mouth closed? You cant keep your secret ? expecially from your friends? Woow!!! I want to let you know that your boo is the list of your problem right now.Your friends will spread the news when the time comes.I would ve advised you not to tell your boo cos your marriage is at stack but on the order side, your friends??? Two holes leaking same time... Poster one, you just have to move on.forget the idiot.
ReplyDeletePoster how could u tell ur friends? Are u ok upstairs? U think they won't tell someone else ? I pity u in advance
Delete@ poster one;woow!!
ReplyDeleteOya clap for yourself..
I never knew "Boyfriends" have now turned to "catholic priest" or perhaps God,whom one can go to and confess their sin to..
My dear;if you have made peace with God and yourself,then why do you wanna blow the whistle about your past life to your Boyfriend??
Babe,A secret remains A "Secret" only when you are the only person that knows about it..what if your "now" boyfriend knows about this past life of yours and in future he uses it to do or say hurtful words to you??
Since you came out -ve after the test;leave it that way and push that memory outta your head or perhaps "Hibernate" that incident in your head..Note that your Boyfriend doesnt need to know this cos its A mistake you made which you dont ever need anyone(not even yourself) reminding you of..
@poster Two;i know its not easy,but you just have to pick up your remaining parts and move on with life..
Sometimes we experience things just to be more wiser and careful with life..
My advice;stop leaving in the past and focus on the present and what the future holds for you..
You need God now and also some motivational books to read so as to bring forth your self esteem,and also to help you realise your worth..
No man is worth A woman's tears my dear,so help yourself to be strong...cos the man you are crying for right now;might probably be in another woman's arm at the moment..
You are stronger than you think and would definitely find true love once again if you can give it another trial with A positive mind..
EVERTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!
XTREME NAIJA AFRO-DANCEHALL MIXTAPE;CLICK TO DOWNLOAD
@MARTINS ABOY
Martins for a young man of this generation, you are pretty wise. Keep it up and be sure to apply your wisdom to your own life.
DeletePoster two pls u re too good for such a stupid ass. It's his loss just av dt in mind. God will bring light in dis dark tunnel for u. N1. Receive sense.
ReplyDelete1st Narrative..you need to learn how to keep things to yourself..Most things should be known by you..yourself and you alone..second narrative..people don't realize what they have..forget him..He has a gold right in front of him and he prefers a GL..God ll hear all our prayers.Amen..
ReplyDeleteP2 I feel so sorry for you.just delete everything that has to do with him,block him in all ur social media,channel all the heart break into ur work.u will heal fast.P1 you no well at all.no face ur marriag dey find who to confess to.
ReplyDeleteSo u mean to say u stayed with him at the hospital and he couldn't even feed and you didn't notice he was communicating with this girl? U sef. Anyway don't worry he will get served in same bowl he dished shit to u. Again remember he isn't worth having someone like u. Ur husband will come. Obviously he isnt.
ReplyDeleteSo u mean to say u stayed with him at the hospital and he couldn't even feed and you didn't notice he was communicating with this girl? U sef. Anyway don't worry he will get served in same bowl he dished shit to u. Again remember he isn't worth having someone like u. Ur husband will come. Obviously he isnt.
ReplyDeletePoster2,I understand how u feel,pls encourage urself.A failed relationship is beta than a failed marriage
ReplyDeletePoster 2, be happy you found out at the time you did. God saved you from a massive heartbreak (worse than the current one) that may have landed you in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteJust count what you did for him as community service. You are still very young, and you can never tell who's been around the corner waiting for the leprous lizard to mess up so he can "submit his Cv"
Pray more and be still. God will tell you what next to do.
Poster2 its well,men dnt lyk gud ladies.4rm xperience.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, advice yourself and give yourself brain.
ReplyDelete@postr 2 i promise u wit tym u would move on, it wont be easy bt u've got 2 be strng and teach urself hw u cn survive witout him. Jst open up ur heart n love wil fynd u once again!
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - You lucky gaan!!!
ReplyDeleteYou should sing songs of praises to God Everyday and learn to keep your business private!
Poster 2 - It gets better with each passing day. Don't dwell on it. Get busy. Find a new hobby, travel, make new friends (reasonable ones o), etc
You'll be fine in no time.
The 'assholes' you meet are to make you appreciate a good man when he comes along.
Stella said it all! Nothing more to say.
ReplyDeleteThis poster 1 self! Something that happened 4 years ago is what you want to tell ur husband to be?....toh, its your life.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: it is well. With time, u will get better.
Lol @ wall gecko!
ReplyDeleteFix it Lord
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2
ReplyDeleteNothing is lost, nothing at all. Yes you sacrificed and all but you are NOT married to him yet and you don't have a child for him. Relationship don end, Move on, Nothing spoil. He loves the chocolate girl more. Heartbreaks are a part of life and trust me, you don't have to curse or hate him. To be fair to him, he MUST NOT marry you cos of what you did for him. He has to love u with same strenght, if not he will cheat on you, or the marriage will be rocky. I've always said this, MARRIAGE is serious business. It must not be the end of all relationships. It shouldn't be a payment for love given, if you get what I mean. If he doesn't love you deeply to marry you, leave him. No matter how kind hearted or good you are, there is someone who wouldn't see it and wouldn't love you. The good news is, there is someone who will. Your self esteem shouldn't reduce cos this guy doesn't see you that way. And honestly, if u wanna be kind and sacrificial, be so without expecting anything in return. Sacrificing your life for a guy cos u want marriage is a no. Men will, Humans will always disappoint you. Before marriage, PUT yourself FIRST. Don't hang your life for any man oh, chase your dreams and all. After marriage, u can begin to sacrifice.
POSTER 1
You win. You just wanted to get married. You know you wont tell him, you're just asking us for asking sake. If you wanted to, you wont be asking us two weeks to your union.
You owe your partner the truth
But this timing is so bad
If you tell him, trust is so destroyed
And the wedding will be cancelled
If you dont, he wont know until your friends spill
So, tell him but later.
@1, u are a very BIG FOOL.
ReplyDelete@2, u are a STUPID GIRL for dating one guy, if u had listened to ur brother ur life won't be this miserable, this is wat u get for loving FOOLISHLY. don't ever date one guy until u are married.
Ha!dis ur advice sha
DeleteEwu
DeletePOSTER 1: tHE PROBLEM; "YOU OPENED LEGS" BEFORE BRIDE PRICE. yOUR MARRIAGE IS AT THE MERCY OF YOUR FRIENDS.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: WOMEN FIND IT DIFFICULT TO MOVE ON WHEN "THEY OPEN LEGS" IN A RELATIONSHIP. I did not see any love in your story. Read the New Testament and fast. you'd be well. But then, do not open your legs again. Keep your vagina sacred and secret until "the man" pays your bride price.
Poster 1: put yourself in his shoes, what would you do?
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You loved real good. Let him carry the shame. Go out, go dance, cry a lot, but babes MOVE ON!!! There are too many better guys around. At least you have learnt the does and donts of relationships.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one. On one hand you have your conscience and on the other hand, your survival instinct. Certain things are meant to be a secret. However,those things depends on the kind of person your partner is. If your partner has got very strict views about infidelity as in he has zero tolerance for it, keeping this a secret before you get married would be grievous. You are taking away his choice in a matter that is important to him. But if he has a less strict view regarding infidelity then go ahead and keep it to yourself.
By the way, from what I deduced according to your story, you said you "are back" with the guy in question. Does that mean you guys were on a break during your tryst with the HIV man? If so, honey keep the experience to yourself as long as you are absolutely certain that you are HIV negative. Be doubly sure dear. All the best!
Poster one, pls shut up your mouth and quietly get married. I pity you for the frnds u alrdy told because the day they will spill...ur only lifeline will be to deny till eternity.
ReplyDeletePoster two, why did you wipe his ass nah? You cared for him like a mother and the stupid fool took advantage of ur love.
My dear, it's good riddance to bad rubbish! Pick up yourself and you will definitely find something much better soon.
Poster 2,
ReplyDeleteAwww
Felt your pain while reading this..
Block him thru true caller app
Block his messages thru true messenger
Block him on BBM, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram
Block him every angle.
Then cry yourself out..
Focus on work and the word of God and things will fall in place
Ps: don't read romantic novels or watch romantic movies. It will make you dwell more on your problems
This my first time to comment here,but the 2nd poster brought me out of my shell,Nnem u will be fine,there nothing I can't do right now 2 make u feel good again,a lady like u is wat every real man pray 4,i want u 2 knw bad people go away 4 the best people to meet u,real love and care is wat u gave this man and the best love and care is what u will have for ever.
ReplyDeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I'm sorry that you are going through this pain. You really loved this man so allow yourself to cry a little, only a little and then pick yourself up and move on. Tears won't bring him back or stop the hurting. They just express the pain you feel. Now I'll give you a few reality nuggets as well as lessons I got from your ordeal.
1. Before you commit to a man, try to read your relationship compass correctly. After 3 months, you have the right to inquire about your status with le boo. Are we lovers, FWB, or are we looking at a future together? Don't try to read him but focus on what he says. Guys may try to be evasive but insist on getting an answer. The answer you get should lead you to 2
2. Don't give the crown of a husband to your boyfriend. You said when he was ill, you did all sorts for him. And I get it, you were expressing your love. Even the buying of gifts haba! For a man who had not even introduced you to his family? Tell me, what will now do when he proposes? Turn to his personal errand girl? A boyfriend is a boy who happens to be your friend, a husband is a man who found a good thing (you). Treat them accordingly.
3. Men can smell desperation a mile away. Your gestures of love had a little desperation written all over it. I mean come on, snooping his phone is one thing but doing ofofo with his friends just to know your man's affairs is a big no no.
That said, wise up. Clean up your act and remind yourself that you are a first class woman and you deserve the best that love has got to offer. You have kissed one frog. Take heart, it happens to the best of us. Just make sure that the next frog that comes along must work hard for that kiss, who knows he might be the one that turns into your Prince. *wink*
One million likes 4 ur comment. Kilses....
DeleteAwesome comment@proverbs 31 woman! You've said it all. Women listen, don't give your all to men that's yet to pay your bride price! Heck if you're married, once in a while shakara is good to keep him on the edge. Men love to chase (as long as you dont over do it).give them something they can crave for from you. Poster 2 gave it all.as in allllll. Now she's left shattered and broken. Self esteem and self worth is also very important. I hope you've learned from this experience. Love is a beautiful thing with the right person. It'll be drama free relationship/marriage. You'll heal again trust me. i hope this will be a learning experience for you so use that as something you gained. And I take God beg you, do NOT go back to him. Karma's a bitch and trust me he'll have a dose of his medicine sooner or later. You're his 80%. Guys like him end up with 20% type of woman. That's when regrets sets in and he'll remember you trust me. I'm speaking from experience.Take it easy dear. The lord is your strength. E hugs.
DeletePoster 2 pls keep praying and turn to God.. I broke up with my bf 4 days ago over the same thing you have listed. just when you think you have found the ONE everything changes because he is selfish. If you want to cry pls cry, feel hurt and forgive him, it would hurt like fuck but in the long run it would be OK and life would compensate you with so much more..
ReplyDeletePoster 1 trouble dey sleep yanga go wake am. You better keep your mouth shot and go ahead with your wedding. Poster 2 I felt like crying after reading your story,but my dear just pray and ask God for help. Hugs
ReplyDeletePoster2, sweetie sincerely and truthfully its hard to forget and you won't forget easily, but goodnews is that you definately will somehow one way forget it trust me. Love will find you but in the meantime occupy yourself with books, friends, and taking care of yourself which is the most important.
ReplyDeletePoster1 are you for real. Open up and loose evrything trust me. You've prayed, checked and tested so what else do you want to spill for? Inukwa worlod piple.
Poster 2 every morning midnight and 6 am declare and call your names break every soul tie thanks to he blood of Jesus Christ and His righteousness is yours. For 21days and everytime memories and His name comes up rebuke it in the name of Jesus Christ. Peace
ReplyDeletePoster1:I don't knw Wat is wrong with women dat everything dat happens to them dey want to tell dere boyfriend r hubby,the biggest mistake u will eva make is to tell ur fiance dat u cheated on him with an hiv patient.u will jst destroy d trust & affection he has 4 u & he wil neva forgive u for dat.. U also have a big mouth can't u keep some secret to urself? (I told my frnds)keep telling dem ur secret & watch ur life diminish. The only person u need to ask forgiveness frm is God. Poster 2:am happy u knw ur worth now & dat margot infested guy is not good enough 4 u... open ur heart I knw it's not easy but give it time mr right will locate you.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you better don't spoil ur relationship. A lot of women have secrets let me tell you the truth. Did you read the confession chronicles. Forget all that keeping no secret with ur spouse, setting your mind right. Most men don't need to know abt d men uv slept with. Keep that information to urself, especially d man with HIV. He may say he has forgiven you, but men keep such information in mind. Once you ppl have a fight he will use it against you. Poster 2, that man doesn't want you, don't let him keep stringing you along. When I was ur age I dated an older guy like dat too that wasted my most btw yrs from age 23-28. At d end he got his ex pregnant. All dos yrs my mates were finding dere spouse and getting married, a fool was wasting my time. Now I'm 30 and still searching. Get out now, he's a time waster.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: use ur hand to destroy ur relationship.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: leave that dude. Haba
Poster 2: move on my dear... he doesn't deserve u
ReplyDeleteposter 2 dnt let one person's wickedness spoil ur good behaviour, ure a good woman and wat u should know to console ursef is know he doesn't have a good taste for better things, hving dat mind set helps u move on.
ReplyDeleteposter1 face the future and forget the past, u should be worried about the people u told not if u should tell ur bf.
Poster 1...SHUT UP!
ReplyDeleteposter 2...let him go!you are an option for him...you deserve better.confront him without any drama or screaming.tell him all you have discovered and walk away with your head up high! God is preparing a better man for you
Fret not.E-hugs.
U made a mistake yes but telling ur boyfrnd wat transpired behind him is d biggest mistake u will eva make. 1) u may loose ur trust. 2) he will knw dat he was just an option. And if u are nt lucky u may loose him too. U just need to forgv ursef and stay focus
ReplyDeletePoster 2 try as much as possible to get over the guy, I can assure you that God will still give you ur own man. poster1 this are kind of story that one takes to the grave.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Pls take heart
ReplyDeleteI hardly comment but i felt your pain. I would advise you to move on. It's hard but you have to try. Ans when he comes begging, don't take him back else you would be fooled again
Poster 2- I read Ur story and I can reckon with it cos I was dir a few months back u know the bible says God will never forget your Labour of love and he will never. When I was in that condition I cried always I had no one to talk to but God and he came around for me. Right now I'm as strong as ever I can't even believe how strong I am now. Just hold on to God he will see u thru. Keep praying, studying the word, kip doing good and living Ur life and u will see God's wonders. Stay blessed
ReplyDeletePoster 1- so you even told your friends? Chai! You are an M-U-M-U!!! Some women aren't wise honestly. Abeg shift.....
ReplyDeletePoster 2, take heart. But next time have it in mind that helping somebody especially a man would not automatically lead to marriage. Render help having God in mind to compensate you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 31 woman - you sound like lady Igo. Lol. But you are right. I don't blame the guy to an extent. You gave him too much time and energy for a guy who hadn't even given your parents wine. Na wa oh! Clean poo poo? Go girl, u try but men don't like women who aren't tough. You need to toughen up and give them the impression that your hands are filled with toasters. Or your head is in ur career above every other thing. That way they keep at the chase. You going all that for a bf was quite desperate. Please learn for the next guy. Use your head dear. It's well.
ReplyDeletePoster 2just tell yourself before he ever came in your life that you were living good. Just pretend you ever knew him bae Andover on
ReplyDeleteI can not marry any woman that calls me alots on phone or talking about
ReplyDeletemarriage to me,,
I LOOOOOVEEEEEE you Stella. #nohomo... I, love the advice you gave the second poster. It made me smile so much, because it's what I do. It gave me validation that I am on the right path. Thank you. Rare Gem Stella, you are a rare gem.
ReplyDeleteSDK Female Engineer.(Been a while I signed out with that but I am always here on the blog...Silent or anonymous)