Odiegwu!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
COMPLAINTS BEFORE MARRIAGE
Stella Bae, how yonder dey nah?
I have this issue bothering me and i'ld like my fellow blog visitors to chip in their opinion. I met this guy sometime last year and we started off as just friends. After a while, we we became close.
He started referring to me as his wife to be.
I have a lot of problem with this guy's attitude. First is, the guy sees himself as the Aristotle of our time. He believes he knows too much and everyone else is a mediocre. He calls and you tell him you are listening to news, he'll say ''ahah! No E today, no African Magic? ''
I don't discuss politics with him because it must end in a fight. Yet he is a dummy in bed, doesn't even know his right from his left, plus his tool is just there. Mind you, i'm not a sex freak but I believe anything worth doing, is worth doing well.
I am an independent lady who hardly asks a guy for money. I had issues with my car on a certain day, and I wasn't having any money on me, so I asked this guy for 20k to help me sort out myself. That was the first day I ever asked for anything from this guy. He said no problem, only for me to get alert of 10k from him. I asked why he sent 10k rather than the amount I asked from him, he told me he had spent all his money on books. I was so pissed that I started imagining how this guy would be able to take care of me if I eventually settle down with him.
My fear is, I don't know if the guy is putting me to a test cos he says he wants to go and see my people by March next year or he's just one of these stingy men out there. He has a very good Job, so he can't say he doesn't have money.
LMAO...Sebi you said you are independent?he tried by giving you what he has,why are you judging him with that?what if he didnt give?
Women should learn to be independent before they go into Marriage abeg!
I do not ask my hubby for money cos i try to make mine and he is so proud of me.MEN DO NOT LIKE TO MARRY A BAGGAGE.
As for the argument over politics,well i dont see anything wrong cos same thing happens in my house oooh.
Infact i do not start any form of entertainment or politics gist if i cannot argue my way through,infact my hubby knows more about Nigeria's history than i do but i always tell him to face his country matters when he starts.
Learn to enjoy the argument.if you love him,stop judging how he performs in bed and look for a way to teach him what or how you want it.
WHY ARE YOU CONTEMPLATING MARRYING THIS MAN?YOU DONT SOUND LIKE YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM OH.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DRASTIC ACTIONS CONSIDERED
Hello Stella,
God will surely bless the work of your hands.
Stella...I'm in a very MADT dilemma. I have been living as a very SAD lady for over 6years. I'm a Single Mum by ACCIDENT. I met D in 2008 at age 32, by March 2009 he proposed and I accepted. A date for our Wedding was fixed for July same year. Same March, D started pressurising me to start a family. I refused sighting d rigour of Wedding preparation as the excuse.
He involved his Father and I eventually succumbed and in May I was confirmed pregnant. I never told my parents about the pressure from D and his Father.
Immediately I told D I was pregnant he became very cold, distant and slowed down on wedding preparation. To cut long story short...
we never got married. Both families met and D couldn't state reason for his action except he would marry me whenever he decides! I had to leave the country for awhile so as not to have a breakdown. Since then I have been fending for our child alone in all areas. D and family visited for the 1st time when our child was 18months old, thereafter he has made attempts twice of Marriage which he never concludes. Also to say that D "borrowed" some money from me at different times which he never refunded.
Trust me...I'm a beautiiful gal, intelligent and successful too, I never lack serious suitors but they are UNSUITABLE. Either there are Married, Gold diggers or too young/Immature(i look younger than my age).
Right now I'm running bunkers with fear of living a lonely life and hitting Menopause - I love kids like kilode, would love to have a bunch of them running a lover d house....lol and I'm considering either to be a 2nd wife or go back to D to have other children probably twins - without assurance of Marriage and Children Support! I'm so under pressure from my child for siblings and a Father, my Mum for more children/Marriage....she doesn't care about d HOW/WHO and I'm also so in need of my Man/Family... I don't want to be dating different men! I need my own Family.
I believe there's nothing God can't do but this burden is sinking me and I can't vouch for me taking it calmly anymore.. I will take a decision by January on which option to take. My life is sooooooooooo on a standstill....... I have prayed and fasted so many times that I don't know how to pray anymore!
Stella I need your red biro and advice also my fellow BVs........I'm so depressed! Only my child makes my world even with that I don't want to raise my child as a Single parent!
Signed,
Single Super Mum.
See how you are giving yourself stressful deadlines and putting yourself under pressure?This is wrong!
You are too desperate!
cool down!
slow down and take time to think before you take any action!...HABA!
Brb.
ReplyDeletePoster one, it's obvious you don't like him
DeletePoster two, Relax, thank God you even have one kid.
Poster one how can you possibly settle down with a man that irritates you this much?
DeletePoster 2 please calm down, in order for you to think and make the right decisions.
poster 2 oloshi desperado!!!
DeletePoster1, lolzzz @ he is a dummy in bed, why re u looking for problem where there is none? Bcos he gave u 10k instead of 20 u don write chronicle on top he head. Hiannnnnnnnn!
DeleteOk, ask him for 100k tomorrow and see wat he gives.
Poster 2 u re too beautiful to be a 2nd wife, calm down ur testimony is on d way darling, say amen and believe.
****LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS****
How u doing?
DeleteSdk ur advice to poster one too funny. Obviously she isn't in love with him but at the end of the day people marry for many reasons other than love sha.
Chronicles.
DeletePoster 1- u have 2 options, u either deal wit it of back out, nt wen u marry ull start complaining cos trust Me it'll get more annoying, all dis Ur complain, u either mend him or move on Biko, u still hav tym cos wen u marry all dis complaints, no1 will even listen cos u saw all dese before.d rate of divorce dese days is alarming, pls avoid it.
DeletePoster 2- God will c u try, being a single mum isn't easy, jst take Ur tym n make d right decision. Na wa for Ur mother sha. Its is well
Poster 1 shebi u said u are independent na? Miss independent why are u complaining again? I always tell my friends I am not miss independent when a guy is dating me o period! Poster 2 I understand it plight just do what will make u happy to be a 2nd wife is not a crime!
DeleteLater they will all say marriage is overrated but they are all scared of being lonely...
DeleteYou all should keep living in denial just 2 give yourself hope
Life is funny sha! I'm married and I hate it. I don't have a child yet but if I did never have married fa! The "one man's meat" is soooo true!
DeleteStella this is the first time I will disagree with ur comment* that men don't wana marry baggage* there are lot of single rich ladies out dere with no husband's. Most women that are married today didn't ve anyting wen dey got married, but there were able to set themselves up while been married. A man who loves u loves u for real, you don't ve to be a working class or ve d whole world before he loves you. If a man loves you, he can make you.
Delete1. U r independent yet u needed 20k, issorai.
DeleteD guy should have given u d 20k if its truly d 1st time u r asking, even if he has 2 borrow or worst case tell u he was sendin u 10k b4 hand. See, if a man loves a girl, 4get all this test talk, like stella said in RHI, u cant hide d love of a man 4 a woman. I think u are just vexing cos he hasnt dickmatized u, else u will ignore all the opposite political views et al. Couples shoukd have different views and know how to balance it, if u quarrel over it, it should end b4 u go 2 bed and act like it never happened.
2. If you have all u have painted yourself, u will actually be married. A serious man love a beautiful, successful and intelligent woman and would snap her sharply. Imo, u should really check yourself if u atttact the kinda people u mentioned. The fact u can be pressured by a bf and his father to get preg outside wedlock speaks alot about u. No sane man will ask another persons daughter to get preg outside wedlock, so how is this after behaviour surprising u? Do u expect any better from such a man? I think you should find a divorcee or something. Get married and do the right thing and have ur kids in a home.
Poster one
DeleteYou are a broke ass woman trying to form porch
Poster two
How come you always have reasons not to date any guy that comes your way
Check your self my dear
Poster 1.. It's very obvious u don't like this guy,u still have a lot of thinking to do,if u truly love him,u wouldnt be here complaining... so just make up ya mind
DeletePoster 2 You should just relax and dont stop praying, dont be too desperat,coz when u are,u settle for anything..
#MissVa3lla
Poster one pls leave him. Those over sabi ones give problems in the long run. Besides which he is stingy. And Stella all this ur advice enh. Me I am a housewife and my husband caters to all my needs and we have been married 15yrs with no probs. I take care of the kids, house and him and he takes care of all financial needs of the family. So pls it's different strokes for different folks. Poster 2 sorry.
DeletePoster 1if you are talking about Henry A.run for your life. Run as fast as you can. You just described Henry A. lol
DeleteRich bee- mumu!! It's Porsche. Porch is a part of he house 'front porch'. U want abuse person check your English first.
DeletePoster 1- you are a future sender of yesterday's chronicles.
DeletePoster 2- madam, relax God is never late oh!
Poster one! Kindly leave your guy because you don't sound like you love him....why stressing on the fact that he has good job and you claimed independence.?
DeletePoster two....be patient. Allah will help you.
Pls, I notice everytime a lady tries to tell her pain, its seen here as desperation and low self esteem. Obviously,alot of u here need to check your lives bcos its no better
DeleteChikito, u are a bigger mumu. It's posh! Go ask Google what a Porsche is. Daft dunce
DeleteMumu bragging bragging Stelle so now woman who don't have a job are now baggage aby? Hmmmm sometimes I wonder how u talk if u hv brain atall, is blogging now a job? Blogging is what u can do even while laying on your bed,so my dear is not a job, that u hv that Litle source of income does not give u d right to disrespect other women and besides no sane man will take u as a wife in dis world if u don't hv money cos u are not good looking neither do u hv a good character, is only a white stupid man that will marry u cos most white are so sick that they can even Marry a dog.
DeleteMumu bragging bragging Stelle so now woman who don't have a job are now baggage aby? Hmmmm sometimes I wonder how u talk if u hv brain atall, is blogging now a job? Blogging is what u can do even while laying on your bed,so my dear is not a job, that u hv that Litle source of income does not give u d right to disrespect other women and besides no sane man will take u as a wife in dis world if u don't hv money cos u are not good looking neither do u hv a good character, is only a white stupid man that will marry u cos most white are so sick that they can even Marry a dog.
DeleteFix it Jesus Amen! It's well
ReplyDeletePoster 2 abeg don't stress your self run back to D and get your kids from one father and enjoy your single life with your kids.
DeleteTrust me men ain't worth that stress.
Fix what Chidinma????
DeletePoster 2 stop praying and start thanking God, that is d key to prayer answers
@poster1...dnt take stellas advice (about teaching him) to heart,if a man can't perform,he can't perform.there's no 2ways bout it.
DeleteDo u really luv this man cos from the above it seems he annoys u.
Poster2...*a single mum by mistake* that seems almost laughable,tell dt 2some naive scums.
U have been desperate from d onset now see where it has landed u yet still it seems u haven't learnt a lesson.
Go back 2him and get pregnant...the ball is in ur court,after all no1 said marriage is for everybody.
I'm glad uv got an open mind hence asides being d father of ur kid(s) u aren't expecting anything nor a form of commitment et marriage
1: You don't sound like you love or even like the guy. Na by force? Please desist from going further. Be patient to get your soulmate, or manage am like that.
Delete2:Calm your titties madam. You sound like you have given up on God.Don't go and mistakenly rope yourself with the wrong guy when your miracle is around the corner. Just live your normal life and you will be surprised when the right man will come. Trust God, have faith and take your mind off it. God had to put Adam in a deep sleep b4 he took out his rib to prepare Eve and bring her to Adam. So rest madam. It is well with you.
Poster 2-since you can easily be influenced by D's father,then it shows the kinda men that your beauty attracts(dummy fellows)anyway,the January deadline you are giving yourself is bad,so even if a cripple show u love by jan,u will part ur legs for him cos u are desperate to give ur child/mother,a father or son inlaw?abeg just chill and love urself more,and watch the magic that will happen.
DeletePoster 1- you don't love that man,abeg just free am,make him go find him own wife.
Hmmmm God dey o
ReplyDeleteWill just be reading comment today.
Delete2what use is ur comment,if u can't tk out time to read and then comment reasonably.
DeleteY'all daft punk be fighting for 1st 2comment like it's d new cool
Elena you don't know me so pls don't insult me. Keep calm and read my comment that I posted before I saw your comment.
DeleteShalom
I think I'm on time *shines teeth. Space booked. Coming back to comment
ReplyDeleteYour one and only
Lol, no time.
DeleteSo what's ur comment. Am sure you are one of those insulting em Jay.
DeletePls fellow bv's, drop tips on how to get an ex back. How to get him addicted to just me. He still cares about me. Please only reasonable comments, no cusses. I know a lot of ladies will find this useful
DeletePoster 2 quit being desperate.
DeletePoster 1 define independent. You're independent and you're worried he won't be able to take care of you because he didn't send all the money? Abeggi.
Poster 1
DeleteI don't support Stella opinion.
If he can't spoil u a little now he won't later.
Still test him by asking for something n see if he will give wholly.
Forget d independent lady thingy, most of us are independent but whenever we ask hubby for something when we know he has. We expect him to give it to us not giving with a Coma.
Babe take ur time n test him. Don't think he is testing u. Which kyn test is DAT when he knows u are independent n rarely ask him for money.
Beta test him again.
Only You Can't be tested.
Shine Your Eyes Ooo oooo oooo
Nwa stop accusing people without proof. That's how I commented on a completely different post, then one mumu commented under me that with my response she is sure I was the one abusing MJ. And the post I commented on had nothing to do with MJ. I wondered how silly she was.You are being silly now and I had thought better of you. So many people visit this blog. It could be anyone abusing MJ, even you.
DeleteWill read comments
ReplyDeleteI like u so much.how can I hook up with u
DeleteOga o
ReplyDeleteYes oh. On Time to Comment
ReplyDeletePoster 1 seems childish. Cos of 10k? Most times, its ladies here who are complaining about what their guy is doing to them. How can it always be the guy's fault? Not all men are bad. If some of the guys painted black here had a chance to defend themselves, you will see that some of them are innocent.
DeleteGiving you less money than you requested for doesn't mean he is stingy. In this world, shit happens. You can be making a lot of money n yet have a lot of responsibilities. If you prefer men who do Jacky Chan on the bed, why don't you find one? I haven't seen any bad thing about the guy in your chronicle. My instinct tells me that you have a high taste and need a man with excess money
Lots of women need to work on them self before seeking a man for marriage.
ReplyDeleteVery correct
DeleteBe right back. I dey drink ATM
ReplyDeleteDrink am well oh
DeleteLet me know when there is a chronicle that doesn't involve relationship issues.
ReplyDeleteIf it doesn't feel right then it isn't right, get moving.
You can be very happy without a man or woman but what do I know. All my baes are behaving themselves.
So true
DeleteAs in ehn,Have never seen an education or entrepreneurship chronicle lol...
DeletePoster1 Talk to him
Poster2 Calm down and let jesus fix it
Doppel abeg borrow me one Bae nah
"All my baes are behaving themselves "
DeleteIs alright
Doppelganger I like you. Do you want to be friends? Oh, I am female and very very straight.
DeleteI'm very tired and weak!
ReplyDeleteWill read later.
Poster one:..I have a song for u..its called miss independent..that talk is cheap.if u want to ask a guy for money..U ask..U don't have to tell us that u are independent. .we won't bash YOU.he gave u 10k?Lol..he figured out that the independent woman will have extra 10k of her own...by the way,you are not in love with that guy..you sound like u have no option.
ReplyDeletePoster2:please don't be desperate. .take care of your child.I know for sure that he is always coming for your money and you always give him.and you forgot to tell us that he is broke too..please just take care of your daughter. .
My dear me I tire with everyone forming independence. My dear women and men there's nothing wrong in being dependent. I have 2 degrees and I am a homemaker. And it's a damn hard job. As it is I'm dependent on my hubby and we have had no probs. Admit it most people would not work if someone is there to take care of all their needs. Most people working do so out of how for do so pls lets quit with all the independent thingy.
DeleteLeave them to be forming Miss independent. Mtchewww
DeleteShe sure does not know the meaning of independent
DeleteBut how can u even ask bf for 10k?
DeleteHian!! Me I tell him to send his mechanic over or ask if I can come and drop the car and take his own for the day (note: day would be 1 week if he doesn't do the needful) I'm such an annoying gf. Heheh
Poster 2 you signed *single auper mom* if you're a wuper mom then no need to get stressed or depressed.
ReplyDeletePoster one:..I have a song for u..its called miss independent..that talk is cheap.if u want to ask a guy for money..U ask..U don't have to tell us that u are independent. .we won't bash YOU.he gave u 10k?Lol..he figured out that the independent woman will have extra 10k of her own...by the way,you are not in love with that guy..you sound like u have no option.
ReplyDeletePoster2:please don't be desperate. .take care of your child.I know for sure that he is always coming for your money and you always give him.and you forgot to tell us that he is broke too..please just take care of your daughter. .
@1,dat u are successful does not mean u should not ask ur m as n for money, don't know y u women like spending ur own money, u gave him d impression dat u are a big girl so y are u complaining, abeg dump his sorry ass.
ReplyDelete@2, if u see a rich man dat wants u as a second wife abeg marry him and ve ur kids,don't ever ve a child for a broke ass plz, no matter how comfortable u are u still d financial support from ur man.
N2, tell him u are done n see his reaction. Also tell him dt ur baby is urs alone since he isnt taking responsibility, n that you will officially adopt d child as ur own. Then after that his reaction will tell u ur next action. Gals should stop getting preggy for men bc dey ask for it, dts how my bf asked me after my youth service to come live with him, so dt he will know whether I will get preggy first, then he will now come n see my ppl. That was d end of our rship bc I can't deal mehn. So ladies pls know ur self worth. Stop giving men so much power to rule over u.
ReplyDeletep1, u r proud and not contented.
ReplyDeletep2, pls calm down , u should know better nah. dont be desperate .u will find love in oddest place............it is well with u. just continue being u and pray harder . u will find somone , but if ur ex is still single thou, maybe u can a kid with him thou.....lol........
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that would happen to any woman is getting married to a stingy man...
Be careful...I don't even know why you don't ask him of money...
So all the fuck he dey fuck you na for free?...
You girls should stop all these miss independent nonsense and give una men bills!...
I wonder what you are doing with him since you don't gain anything from the relationship...
Girls bikonu be wise!!...
Poster 2,
So you are thinking of how to break another woman's home abi?...
No wonder why your baby daddy dumped you...you are a terrible person!...
Am sure your character sucks too...useless old cargo...
Hahahahaha!!! Poster 1: did u hear her?
DeleteQueen of SDK! Queen of SDK!! How many times did I call you? Leave those who want to be independent to be nau? Shuuu.... How do u expect men to have champagne money and side chicks money? Hehehe
DeleteWhen I dey talk sey, the 'bus' of this 'block' abi wetin she name hersefl...her head no correct, pple go dey doubt me! See wetin u cool down type give person! So if dem ask u now, u go say u don advise person abi?
Delete"All the fuck"...be wetin? U be ashawo wey dem go fuck 'pay' u money? Abi the 'fuck' no follow dey swit the barney?
See as u dey take style dey tell us ur occupation! Fuck on & fuck off jare! Mstcheeewww!
*Ghanaman signing out*
@ poster getting married to sabinus is not a good thing oh, ppl that claim they know too much end up quarelling u for every thing, hope ur ready for that? Hmmm I know what am talking about oh, better use ur tongue to count ur teeth
ReplyDelete@poster 2 ur wahala too much, so the one u have isn't enough, u want to add more, u think marriage is a bed of roses or a trophy, ask those that send in chronicles here, am not saying there re no good guys or marriage isn't sweet but don't pressure ursef so u don't end up choosing the wrong person. Concentrate on ur child, if a man comes fine, if he doesn't fine too, God should be the ultimate.
NN 2. take one steo @ a time,everything worketh for good for those dt believe in Christ.not easy sha#wink
ReplyDeletePOSTER ONE: YOU ARE NOT A "SEX FREAK" BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY "OPENED LEGS" SO WHAT ARE YOU; A PRAYER WARRIOR?
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: YOU TOO "OPENED LEGS' "UNDER PRESSURE". THIS IS What I have always told women in every counselling session. A man will cease to respect you the moment he "browses" in between your legs before marriage! As for the poster, you seem not to have learnt from your mistake and you want "more kids"? You are afraid of menopause but you are not afraid of STI/AIDS, you are not afraid of your conscience, you are not afraid of God's judgment? Why not begin to seek God for eternal life and the things of this life will be added to you including a husband that fears God. But if you think you cannot follow the ways of God and you want to have kids, you can always "get out of the country", how about "sperm banks"?
Abeg carry ur stupid advice to another blog, are u a virgin, dats how u girls come here to deceive others, y should she buy a sperm when there are able bodied men to get her pregnant, u are an idiot for tying this nonsense.
DeleteYOU are a very big goat, and a failed counselor.
DeleteSo you tell people to go about buying sperms instead of getting pregnant the normal way.
Once again, you are a goat
Super mom don't complain. Looool!
ReplyDeletePOSTER ONE: YOU ARE NOT A "SEX FREAK" BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY "OPENED LEGS" SO WHAT ARE YOU; A PRAYER WARRIOR?
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: YOU TOO "OPENED LEGS' "UNDER PRESSURE". THIS IS What I have always told women in every counselling session. A man will cease to respect you the moment he "browses" in between your legs before marriage! As for the poster, you seem not to have learnt from your mistake and you want "more kids"? You are afraid of menopause but you are not afraid of STI/AIDS, you are not afraid of your conscience, you are not afraid of God's judgment? Why not begin to seek God for eternal life and the things of this life will be added to you including a husband that fears God. But if you think you cannot follow the ways of God and you want to have kids, you can always "get out of the country", how about "sperm banks"?
Abegi....y in heavens name would someone not have sex before marriage? Like seriously d thought in itself is ludicrous. She got pregnant.... Big deal... Na marriage desperation b d issue. Must u marry who u sleep with? D biggest mistake anyone could do to themselves is to marry someone they are not sexually compatible with.... This ur advise no make am abeg. If u like b a world renowned counsellor. The advise should be don't be pressured to have sex, if it feels right and you feel they are the right person. Do it. We only have one life on earth, live it. If there's hell, trust me madam counsellor na me and u go go dere. All these self righteous Bullshit is just dat, bullshit. I slept wit my husband 2 weeks after meeting him, he stayed, he was ready to b committed. He found Wat he wanted and he wifed it. All those excessive hard to get or pretentious bullshit does not want. If a man is ready, he's ready, if a man is not ready to marry u, If u like use barbed wire tie d leg, d minute he married u, hits it, dat nigga is out. Trust me, some men are dat finicky. We live on planet earth. All u "counsellors" need to join our planet. Whatsbgood for the goose is definitely not good for d gander.
DeleteAll this whining like chiwuawa is from aguilty soul
DeleteFather fix the 2 posters.
ReplyDeleteGod help them
If you are diagnosed with a heart disease, you will begin to see the things that matter most in life. Man man man. Its ok.
ReplyDeleteNa wa
ReplyDeleteMake God just answer una prayers and gibe una small sense
Just imagine
Narrative one....what are you still waiting for?.. U never see d sign reach?
Narrative two...Abeg leave "D" alone...and take care of your kids
What's wrong with our women mbok
@Galore
Poster one, it's obvious you don't like him
ReplyDeletePoster two, Relax, thank God you even have one kid.
It's well
ReplyDeleteStella, pls park well...the fact that poster 1 is independent does'nt mean she should be solely responsible for everything in her life when she has a fiance (that is rich). Even if the guy is not all that, men should always take responsibilities no matter how small. I am an independent lady, but if i date you for a month without you spending your kobo on me, i just lock up, no time...
ReplyDeleteAbout him arguing like a fool, that's some childish act. Some men have refused to outgrow such traits and i tell you, na big issue...Loook for another guy pls, you won't like him at the end of the day, seeing that it's a concern now.
Your comment make extra sense. Don't mind Stella. How can a man be proud of not providing for his woman?
DeleteThe thing tire me o. A man that his wife does not allow to provide for her will find some other woman to provide for because he has to provide to feel like a man that he is, Why deprive him of that wonderful feeling?
DeletePoster1: You don't have a problem. Everything you said there seems like an everyday challenge.
ReplyDeletePoster2: I feel your pains and your trouble... you made a mistake in the past by succumbing to pressure.... Just put it in prayers and forget about Mr.D ...
Love will locate you, my regards to your little one.
Thank you bvs for sending in your chronicles.
P1 you don't love the nigga free his ass naw
ReplyDeleteP2 did u seriously say u wanna be a second wife?? **shivering all over**"
Poster 2: MAKE WE SING RAS KI MONO ON YOUTUBE.
ReplyDeleteUnder pressure women under pressure,
Under pressure we say under pressure,
Give it to the youth who no have father
Give it to the youth who no have father
Pam pam, apapapapap ram papam
lesson; ladies, no matter the pressure, close ya legs. A man will not marry you because you opened legs or you are pregnant. If he marries you after having sex before marriage, what you will lose in that marriage is HIS TRUST! It is subconscious but that is what happens. Even you as a lady will find it difficult to trust the man even with your mother! "He ate and cleaned mouth then and did the wedding vows in the church, why can't he eat and clean mouth before me now?" That's the thought.
Opening legs and getting pregnant before marriage works for some people...
DeleteI know many guys that got married to their wives after tasting the cookie for the first time...
Poster 2: MAKE WE SING RAS KI MONO ON YOUTUBE.
ReplyDeleteUnder pressure women under pressure,
Under pressure we say under pressure,
Give it to the youth who no have father
Give it to the youth who no have father
Pam pam, apapapapap ram papam
lesson; ladies, no matter the pressure, close ya legs. A man will not marry you because you opened legs or you are pregnant. If he marries you after having sex before marriage, what you will lose in that marriage is HIS TRUST! It is subconscious but that is what happens. Even you as a lady will find it difficult to trust the man even with your mother! "He ate and cleaned mouth then and did the wedding vows in the church, why can't he eat and clean mouth before me now?" That's the thought.
'And he is a dummy in bed'lwkmd chia...
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteMy dear, love is a crucial element in a relationship but there are other factors that are to be considered as well. That you are independent doesn't mean that your boo shouldn't man up in certain situations. The car incident is one of such. However, this singular incident should not be the yardstick to measure the rest of your relationship. As for the flaws, everyone has got one of those. You just have to be certain that you are not blind to them but that you see those flaws, accept them and love your boo regardless.
Let's face it, le boo would definitely have one or two things he finds annoying about you. What matters is that you are absolutely certain that whether he is over opinionated, a book-worm or a stingy dude, this is the man you want to spend forever with, have his babies and basically crown as your king. If not, honey be independent all by yourself until "the man" comes.
P1, seriously, you've got no problems at all. Probably, you are not in love with the guy so some of his attitudes that you should see as normal piss you off.
ReplyDeleteAs for the money he gave you, you should be glad you got 10k, if he was stingy, he'd have given you 2k, believe me.
Saying, no E! or AM today is just a tease, come on!
He said he bought books, wow! I love guys who read, that's why he acts like "aristotle" of our time as you have labelled him.
My advice, marry him joor if you are sure he loves you and you love him as well and if he's not a cheat and a beater.
P2, please take it easy, don't make decisions when you are mad. Person wey dey cry dey see road o.
You don't know how blessed you are yet. Chill, if God sees you need a husband, He'll definitely give you yours.
Even if you want to go back to your child's father for the sake of your child and so as not to have issues for different men, please think it through thoroughly. May God come to your rescue.
Jesus is Lord.
Oh! You also said he's a dummy in bed. Well, don't know what to type about that.
DeleteJesus is Lord.
First chronicle, you need to calm down pls. Have a heart to heart talk with him and make up your mind.2nd chronicle writer, pls, take it easy on yourself pls. If u really believe in prayers, the lord makes everything beautiful in its TIME. Mrs korkus, I love that ur red pen. I learn from using your red pen on these chronicles. Remain blessed. MsADEOLA
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteNtoor...
Why are u complaining?
After forming miss independent, u are still begging him for money
U are dating a guy ,kobo u can't collect 4rm him and u're even opening ur legs wide 4 him,hian...
Nne inwere sense ooooo...
FYI I am married with kids and I work but my hubby must provide for my basic needs oh!!
Shine ur eyes as u enter a new relationship as ur present relationship is not working
#BEWISE
Poster 2
U've made a big mistake in ur life by taking in for that efulefu but it is well.
My honest advice to u is to calm down, love will find u.
Don't go back to that man cos he can neva take u serious.
He will continue to treat u bad coz he's not into u.
Trust me when I say that love will find u
Correct!,,.for that poster one...
DeleteAm sure that her boyfriend has someone else he spends on...
It's okay nau. Ehn..... Oya sorry she has heard. Lol!
DeletePoster one that guy is a stingy human being. Or he has become so used to you not asking, that he's now reluctant to give. Same thing happened to me many times. Or maybe he just dsnt have. But he sounds like an I know too much.
ReplyDeletePoster two sweety I get what you're going through but chill. You're putting yourself under so much pressure. Most single moms feel same way you feel. With our kids pressuring us for siblings, a father and all. Its makes you feel down sonetimes but dsnt mean you should go hook yourself to your baby daddy. Someone who won't make you hapoy
P1: babe, just continue with your miss independent, dn't bother him, and maybe your instinct is true, maybe he is testing you, just try to play by the game, and If God willing, you too tie the knots together, then, you will activate your asking for money mode. *this is my 2cent *
ReplyDeleteP2: My sister, dn't kill yourself ooo, dn't allow pressures from people to drive you crazy. Please, just pray about every thing and trust me, Jesus will fix it. *smiles *
The traffic on this Marina going to VI is killing.
ReplyDeleteEvery major roads in Lagos today is blocked!.,.
Delete*are...
DeleteYoung lady, u're just compounding ur grammatical woes. This correction now if from bad to worse. I was trying to correct the 1st gbagun, only for u to double my wahala with this second one. Now, which one I wan tackle 1st for u biko? Kai!
DeleteSimple English, she can't spark...abi na spoken!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!
*Ghanaman signing out*
Ok, lemme help u as my paddy wey u be.
Delete"Every major road(s) in Lagos is (are) blocked"....
Hey babe...u can thank Ghanaman later!!!
*Ghanaman signing out*
*is
DeletePoster one. Thats what u get when u feel u re independent and so u dnt need any mans money. Me for example. I am independent too but i dnt rub it on my hubbys face. I make sure he perforns his duty in the house. He still buys everything needed, my cream, soap, clothes and the rest even money for my hair plus food stuffs. I only contribute my money when i want and that is when i want to buy clothes for my kids or want to prepare a special delicacy. I also spend my money when am at loggerheads with him so i will jejely respect my self and buy what ever that is needed so he wont do shakara for me.
ReplyDeleteSo in ur case, i think he feels u re nt complaining thats why he relaxed but u can still talk it out with him and start early to make him start performing his duties
Then for politics, am not a fan of football but dh loves it so much so whenever he is angry about his team loosing, i will just shift for one corner dey look am to avoid his palaver. So you need to learn how to over look some certain things and also know when to sit up. Dont over form miss or Mrs independent or else he will leave all house hold expenses on u because in his mind he will believe u can handle it. If you dont love him and cant cope with his attitude better talk thingz out with him or quit. But just know that marriage has no formula. Its left for you to learn ur man, find out his weakness and then know how to deal with him coupled with Gods wisdom.
Gbam!...
DeleteAm sure the poster is a Yoruba girl...
Poster 2. You no get problem
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Dunno. I encourage women to be independent but as a woman.. I would still wanna know if I can bank on hubby to be. Does he get you gifts at all? Who pays for the dates? Think am wella
poster 1:ITK guys cn be a bit annoying.anyway,u dnt love dis guy so leav hm alne.dnt marry hm becos u want to be 'married'.
ReplyDeletePoster2,calm down.u hv prayd n fastd,hv u waitd on God?goin bk to D is lyk goin bk to ur vomit.besyds,it isnt gud to raise kids witout a father's influence.u'd wish u had done d ryt tin.wait on God,thats all
thelma enemuwe said...
ReplyDeletePoster1.....if you cannot contain his excesses.then take a walk,I could perceive that ure irritated by his attitudes.....
Poster1....calm ur nerves and stop laying undue pressure on urself,...God makes all things beautiful in His time ,He's gonna perfect all that concerns you,so please,do not write yourself off yet.....do not allow desperation becloud your sense of reasoning...do not allow ur mom nd family put pressure on you....this too shall pass.......hugsss
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
Poster1 you don't love him and the guy is stingy, and he irritate, annoys you evrytime
ReplyDeletePoster2 super mum if that's what you are,why the chronicles
thelma enemuwe said...
ReplyDeletePoster1.....if you cannot contain his excesses.then take a walk,I could perceive that ure irritated by his attitudes.....
Poster1....calm ur nerves and stop laying undue pressure on urself,...God makes all things beautiful in His time ,He's gonna perfect all that concerns you,so please,do not write yourself off yet.....do not allow desperation becloud your sense of reasoning...do not allow ur mom nd family put pressure on you....this too shall pass.......hugsss
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
1. Calm down, all will be well.
ReplyDeleteIMO these two posters have an undertone of deciding already in their mind. They are here only to weigh BVs opinions but not following suggestions.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - you are not in love with your guy, you are only using him as a cover-up. How can you detest a man like this yet stay put with him? Independent lady my foot - did you give him details of what is wrong with your car or you felt that was an opportunity to extort him? More on if you can't deal with his ish, or is he holding you against your will?
Poster 2 - since you have mandated yourself to have children for any man, I don't see why you term them UNSUITABLE. Kindly make hay while sun shines mbok.
still forming new here and observing comments.........
ReplyDeletePoster2:please don't sound desperate,if you know you can fend for yourself n D is still single,you can go back to him and have one more and face your kids.
ReplyDeletePoster1:the lord is your strength
Poster 1, it's obvious d guy irritates u,pls dump him. Lol @ small dick
ReplyDeletePoster 2, u reek of desperation. The way you are going ,u are going to make more poor choices, b patient, haba.
The two chronicle no make sense at all
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2,
ReplyDeleteDear super single mom,
This is just my opinion, I could be wrong though but I believe that you are not ready for marriage. The only reason you have cited for marriage is pressure, nothing else. Marriage is two people making a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together; you are willing to commit to a man as long as he is willing to wear the suit!!! Come girl! I love the fact that you call yourself super woman. Super woman does not need a man, she needs super man with a capital S on his chest.
Personally, I believe that your baby daddy is a no-no. He has been non-committal from day one. Besides, a man that cannot commit to his child may not be able to commit to a woman much less an amazing woman like yourself. As for the undesirables aka suitors, drop em like it's hot. Five minutes is too much to donate to people like them much less forever. Commit yourself to the one relationship you have going for you which is your kid.
Stop dating for 3months. In that time, focus on you and your child. Do a health check, take up a short course, start a fitness routine that would include a healthier diet, connect with your inner super woman mentally, emotionally and spiritually. As for family, take your stand. Tell your mom that you settled once (agreeing to get pregnant before wedding) but this time around, you will not.
Be strong honey. It is usually easier said than done but you can do this. Fall in love with yourself a little and stop putting your on hold in your quest to become married. Sending e-hugs your way.
Seconded
DeletePoster 1: You're Just a Narcissist, Blowing your own trumpet.
ReplyDeletePoster2: The Lord Is Your Strength
poster one look before u leap..girls shuld always shine their eyes before marriage and from ur narrative u re nt sure of marrying that guy so forget abt him and move on
ReplyDeletePoster 1...he is too this, he is stingy, but he gave you What he had...your attitude is not really nice. Please be grateful. An independent woman is not looking for a man to take care of her financially. That's what makes you independent. He is your boyfriend and not your father, he does not owe you anything but his heart.
ReplyDeletePoster 2...slow down, you are desperate. Single parenting 1 child is easier than adding more. You want to marry a nice guy but you want to be adding children and expecting a suitor who will take you serious. The first time is understandable. It came from pressure and now you are being pressured by your mum and child, don't you have a mind of your own. Don't you see adding more children without a serious commitment will reduce your children's quality of life. Please be wise and wait on the right time. Get busy and develop yourself instead of looking for how to complicate your life. Don't you have dreams and aspirations? A degree, business, job? Focus on edifying things and give your baby a good life. Stop thinking with your ovaries.
Chai! "Stop thinking with your ovaries" is all I see, lol.
DeleteKronikus wellcome, na comments i come read Aunty Salt E, I dey wait ur advice ooo... Its always on point...
ReplyDeleteHmmm! May God help u all. What I know is that, there is a time for everything.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you have a stingy boyfriend and I can bet he's ugly! Leave his stingy ass ASAP well except you're not cute
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Desperado
You can't judge that a guy is stingy just from one episode. He may be treating her the way she is mirroring herself to him.
DeletePoster 1- You don't love that guy, set him free........if he's a brokeass, run, run, run!
ReplyDeletePoster 2- Calm your titties, don't allow desperation push you into making another mistake. Think about this, if with a child you're finding it hard to get a husband, imagine yourself with 2 except you've made up your mind to become a single mother for life
Pls, squash the idea of becoming a second wife, polygamy NEVER ends well, don't be selfish, think of your children (born and unborn), the ones you claim to love so much.
Keyjeh loves......saw your reply on an earlier post, thanks love, most times I get here late (with work and all) so I just read and enjoy each post but I try to drop a comment when I can.
Thanks darling, me love you long time.
SHARONNA
Hmmm! What can i say?
ReplyDeletePoster 2 is not desperate stella, after how many years of waiting? Am sure her child is 6yrs. She should make up her mind and do something by Jan. My advice is, if D hasn't have another wife, maybe you should let him father baby no2 because to be a second wife is a problem Ooo. Ehhh ile olorogun, ile ariwo(there always way in polygamous home) don't compound your problem please I beg you. May God lead you
ReplyDeleteU are independent lady and u don't have 20k in Ur account lol is alright. Well no matter how rich any lady might b please let Ur husband money be a plus to urs.
ReplyDeleteTell them Chick Felix...
DeleteQueen I agree with you but I just don't know how to ask. Can you say how? Or maybe dear Stella can do a post on this, cos no matter how independent a woman is, all women want their men to take care of them.
DeletePoster 2, how can you claim that you're intelligent and then let a man trap you with pregnancy ? by including his father ?? Not only that, you've spent six more years waiting and hoping that the same man will come back and marry you ? you should have figured out that this man has no good intention towards you, and should've started your search for your own husband a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteSince you already have a child of your own, if you desperately want more kids, have you considered adoption ?
It is never easy especially when in love, but women should learn to keep their legs closed until marriage, it really is for your own good. Most of us can't even trust ourselves totally, so how can you trust another person (a man) to totally do right by you when you've played up all your cards and gotten pregnant for him ? This is where he knows he's gotten you right where he wants you and can do whatever he wants. Learn to play smart please.
My candid advice to the two posters is Prayer n Patience. Dont rush into what u will rush out cos of age not been on ur side. One of my neighbours did dat and today she is in her grave. Dont forget that God makes all things beautiful in his time. Ur best is yet to come dearies.
ReplyDeleteStellakork we should learn to be independent u mean? Noooooooo I will advice ladies to learn how to save in case if hubby is facing difficulties then u can bring out urs to assist him/d family....... y should I spend my money when he's claiming to b head of d family,? To be d head no b joke oooo.
ReplyDeleteStellakork please don't forget that men read this blog oooo mind d way u advice on certain issue
I love you. Head no be joke. Let men stand up to their responsibilities.
Delete@ Poster1: Do you know why you see those filmsy excuses, it's because you don't love that man and you are hooked to him because he is your last option. The only issue can be that of sex but maybe you see it that way because you are not into him. What you are looking for in marriage is not what marriage is all about. Reason sensibly and find out the things that matter and separate them from the frivolities.
ReplyDelete@ Poster 2: I feel your pain sister but the irony of life goes like this, the more you desperately search or desire for something, the more the keep distance. Breath in and out, be happy with your daughter, try to remove your mind from it and you will be surprised to see your Mr man walk through the door. Your baby daddy shun him for now and let him be the one that will desire you.
Poster 1: You sound like this guy is not your kind of man, in that case, every little thing he does sure irritates you. Look, If you can't love him for who he is or inspite of, please, let him go, you will both save yourself and him of many troubles.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You do not know the 'peace' you are enjoying right now until you take that demon-inspired step you plan to take. Desperation leads to the path of destruction. Please, calm down and be patient. Take your hands off the steering and let God. He makes things beautiful in His own time. It is well.
Hawk-Eyed!
Madam stell I no see my comment
ReplyDeletePoster1 :@least he made an effort & credited ur account with 10k it's not bad... tell him how u feel & watch his reaction, den u watch him closely & see if he does poseter2:u re so desperate and it will land u in more worst situations smh
ReplyDeleteWre art dou?the flesh of my flesh....if u marry ma wahala,if u no com marry nko na anoder trouble....waeva joor....chronicles or not, am goona find you soon bae
ReplyDeletePoster 1 nothing makes a woman more happy wen her man shows love by takin care of her and her needs that is why even the most successful women boast abt thier man meeting their needs not bcos they cant afford it but because it boost the man's ego and makes ur woman very happy and Stella ur marriage works with you footing your bills good 4 u but different relationships and different marriages after all there are men that assist their women in makin dem very successful my dear pray believe and try if it can work but the worst thing u can do is to settle don't settle for less than u deserve try and believe ur soulmate would locate you that's my prayer for you
ReplyDeletePoster 2 please don't be impatient the best is yet to kom concentrate on the things that make u happy and your expectations would locate you God is not asleep he knows what he is doing maybe building you to be the woman you want to be, trust me trust God and do one thing that makes you happy everyday and you will be fine my prayers are with u too
Poster 2 I have a story to tell you. A young lady got pregnant out of wedlock and the baby daddy abandoned her and tge baby. She concentrated on taking care of her son, she made the son her world and never complained to abyone. A certain young, never married before man observed this young lady takes a young chap to school every morning, he inquired about the lady and realised the boy is hers. He approached this lady but the lady rejected, saying she has a son , bla bla bla. The man told her he became facinated by the dedication and care she gives the son and so he want her for marriage, that he sees a wife material in her. To cut the long story short, they have been happily married for over 7yrs now. My point exactly; please be patient, your time will come. Don't do anything drastic that might bring you back to your oresent situation. You deserve to be loved ok and I know God will grant your heart desires. I feel your pain. It is well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 & 2 - You two should sit una nyansh down & figure out wat u really want.
ReplyDeleteNo long episode 2day biko
Until 2morrow una, Embelembe
Una byeeeee!!!
*****MhizDerbyViaIG*****
Poster 1 u sound like a nag
ReplyDeletePoster 2 just keep hoping on God
Poster 2, if I were you and can afford to take care of my kids I will have the remaining kids for him quietly but I will surely dump him. And he will have to play by my rules. He will only see the kids every ten years.
ReplyDelete@Linda Eze, it is not that people do not open legs and marry; it is the issue of trust. You do not know the interior happenings in the marriages you are citing more than a counselor they will go to when they have issues! Forget about all those smiles, uniforms and facebook posts . . . all is to SAVE FACE! I have real life experiences of marriages that have packed up a long time ago but they are just co-habiting to save face.
ReplyDeleteI know of two professors; husband and wife at a higher institution in the south west. Both are "pastors" in a church and everyone sees them as the "ideal couple" but at home, they don't talk to each other. They can kiss in front of the church, call each other sweet names but once in the house, they both shut down to each other.
@Linda Eze, it is not that people do not open legs and marry; it is the issue of trust. You do not know the interior happenings in the marriages you are citing more than a counselor they will go to when they have issues! Forget about all those smiles, uniforms and facebook posts . . . all is to SAVE FACE! I have real life experiences of marriages that have packed up a long time ago but they are just co-habiting to save face.
ReplyDeleteI know of two professors; husband and wife at a higher institution in the south west. Both are "pastors" in a church and everyone sees them as the "ideal couple" but at home, they don't talk to each other. They can kiss in front of the church, call each other sweet names but once in the house, they both shut down to each other.
Poster 2.do not marry D neither should you become a second wife
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Let that guy find his square root
All a nigerian girls need in a man are.....
ReplyDeletehe have a good paying job,,,he is from a nice family and
next thing she will be singing words like,, ,,
,,,,she will be coded telling the guy how all the men in the world are asking
her hands in marriage and her parents want to see that man in her life
and to know if he serious or a player,,,
she will even visit the guy mother in the village and pond a fufu she has
never pound in her fathers house and after marriage her original characters
will be singing like ogene music....
my papa say if i no bring the woman i like and wish to marry that i should not
visit home this xmas,i don open instagram account and facebook account i will be
sharing my funs photos this season,atleast my sisters go dey showing my papa my funs
photos i no mind,,,na him go beg me to return,,no bi me go dey live together with
the woman i wan marry?
I wish I can find love again,get married and leave happy.truly being a single mum without a man to lean on is very sad.it not easy.poster 2,I pray u find love in someone that deserve you soon.just keep praying
ReplyDeletePoster 1... Look before u marry and besides are u really in Love ? Poster 2.... Open yours eyes ok and see front or u receive sense
ReplyDeletePoster 1... Look before u marry and besides are u really in Love ? Poster 2.... Open yours eyes ok and see front or u receive sense
ReplyDeleteWell... My case is similar with d first one... He has never given me cash.. But He has collected from me with promise that he'll return it .. He's working n i'm not.. But He keeps talking abt wen He marries me, i'll be d one to enjoy his money. Well i'm too Young to be desperate abt marriage, so i broke up with him. Besides, a guy that loves you shld be Willing to spend his money on you. Forget d independent shidd.
ReplyDeletePoster1: Keep watching him closely and don't draw any conclusions yet. Check from the time you ve started dating him, the gifts he has gottten for you, entertainment centres and if while you pple r together he takes care of the bill or expects you too etc. Then, u will know if he is stingy or not.Make sure u keep ur money to urself and don't try being independent around him (i.e when out, don't be forward in paying bills, etc), then try talking to him about the tins u don't like, and how they affect you.
ReplyDeletePoster2: Sweetheart, just relax. Pls, count your blesings while u wait for your miracle. You are rich, wealthy, financially secure, can afford to travel to a country of your choice, you don't look your age and you have a child. Wow. Am sure, there are much more than this. Why don't yoy keep praising God for this?
You want to reduce yourself to a zero level by going to meet D 2 ve kids? is dat how less u ve value for yourself? is dis how u want desperation to destroy you? Is life all about having kids and hubby?
You have even considered being a 2nd wife. I.e snatching another woman's husband just to be a mrs.
do u knw the worst kind of loneliness? marital loneliness. do u knw wats involved in polygamy? do u knw u can even loose ur life?
If you say, u ve prayed n fasted, who told u God has not heard? are His ears deaf? Offcourse not. But You need to understand that God cannot be cajoled to do wat u want him to do, but wat He wants to do. He is not a magician or Babalawo, answers to prayers are not on our terms, but HIS.
Also, Can God be mocked? Impossible. You might be sleeping with different men, doing all what sort and you expect him to answer you as His beloved and faithful daughter, who always pleases Him and obey His command or what?
If u want God's intervention, u ve to come to Him on His own terms and time, not yours.
Moreover, who is d giver of children? ve u not heard of women below 30 dat are barren for years and those above 50 dat gave birth? Trust God completely and not nature, mental calculation or Physical attributes.
I urge you to totally surrender ur life to Christ, love yourself, remove this desperation from you, and WAIT until your prince and charming comes(No matter how long it takes).
1. Lol at dummy in bed. Teach him so that he will respect you in that area.
ReplyDeleteWeigh the negative and the positive and choose. Another thing is - he gave u 10k because you've shown him that u r independent. Dude try joor.
2. Zero yr mind frm marriage and it will come but be prayerful n thankful to God.