Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives...

Hmm....

 NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
RIGHT CHOICE?

Hello Stella, thank you for this platform you have created for advice and opinion sharing,my narrative is a bit lengthy but I'm confused right now about my relationship and I need advice, please help me post this muah.

I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 31. We have been dating for a year and nine months. In the course of the relationship my boyfriend has been good, he has been supportive, kind, loving, I've never had any reason to doubt him, he spends the little he has on me, as long as it will make me happy, and I was also good  even though some issues come up occasionally  

One of the issues I had with him was the fact that he is still staying with his parents, even though the house is a big house, it really bothered me. He doesn't have a car and he works in a bank, he has access to get a loan but he says he doesn't want to be indebted to anyone, he can afford to drive any of his father's cars but he doesn't,because he feels his dad won't respect him ( d'uh if he is looking for respect he should have moved out). 

The car issue really affected our relationship because it was hard getting around and I always had to be the one meeting up and visiting since I was the mobile one,my car had some serious issues so I had to sell it.So most times we ended up taking cabs and he was always complaining about why we can't just take a bus to save money instead of thinking of how to get a car. Even with all this I just thought he needed encouragement on getting his life together.

Another problem is,he is trying to relocate to America. I don't have a problem with that but I just feel at his age. That's not what he needs right now, I feel he should try to move his career forward here and make a life instead of going abroad to hustle, and that also means he is not ready to settle down. 

The major problem was 2 months ago I got pregnant even though I was on birth control injection. I really wanted to keep the baby and I told him my plans. He said he loves me with all his heart and wouldn't mind getting married to me and he will support whatever decision I take but I should keep in mind that he might be relocating soon, and he won't be here to support me, besides he says he cannot financially support a child as he feels his salary is not enough to, he earns 150 thousand, I wasn't working then because I took a break to decide where my career was heading, so I couldn't afford a child too and I was staying with my brother. I knew we both couldn't afford it but I felt we had 9 months to plan, I had done an abortion in the past and I didn't want to go through that experience again . 

I told him taking out the baby will mean our relationship is over, he said he didn't want to loose me, started crying on my head, that he is so confused, but he didn't say anything about the abortion again . The truth is our families are okay and I know they would have supported us and everything would have worked out if we just decided to put our  fear behind us and try. I spoke with my siblings and my mum about the issue and they encouraged me to make my decision and they would support me. After much deliberation I realized I didn't want to force fatherhood on him and he really didn't want a child but he didn't want to tell me that,because he knew I would be hurt, so he put all the decision making on me while subtly hinting that a child was not what he wanted right now. 

So I made up my mind to take out the baby,the truth is if I decided to keep the child I might have had to raise a fatherless child and that is one thing I have decided not to do, as my mum was a single mum and it really affected me emotionally. I spoke with him about the decision  and he seemed really relieved, he was very supportive during the process, hospital visits for tests, scans, money for hospital bills materialized all of a sudden, he was always there reassuring me of his love but how this is not the right time.

Now to the advice I need, I have done the abortion, my womb is not damaged, I'm okay, my boyfriend still assures me of his love and does whatever it takes to please me , but I want to leave the relationship. We talked about abstaining but I know after some time it will just be talk, apart from that when will he be ready to settle down? If I get pregnant again what will happen? I feel no matter how much he shouts about his love, if he couldn't be supportive about keeping the baby then he isn't the one for me.I feel like he isn't just ready to be responsible, I feel like now that I can still move on, I should just pick up the pieces of my remaining womb and move on...and forget him because there might never be a future and getting a man has never been a problem for me. Just two months after the whole ordeal I've gotten a new good job, I can afford to save for a new car or a place of my own or get a loan if I want, if I can afford to put my life together like this what's stopping him? 

I have already decided that I want to leave the relationship but I need advice and people's opinions on if this is the right choice because  apart from his being irresponsible he is actually a good person, and if I'm to leave how should I go about it.

P.s: I know having an abortion is not good, but I believe it's a personal decision. I will not get upset if anybody hurls insults and curses me out, but please after all that still find time to contribute your advice and opinion on the above subject: is leaving the right decision?

I am on a one week Sabbatical .Blog Visitors please advice her well oh.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
VIRGIN IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS COMPLICATED.

Stella my bf and I started dating 2 months ago and we've not had sex yet cause I'm still a virgin.

I am 19 whilehe's 35 though he agreed to wait till I'm ready for it but Bvs it's been one fight to the other.He's so jealous and protective of me,he gets angry when I'm talking to my male friends on phone,he doesn't want me to have any friend cause he believes they're bad influences on me.

I don't go to parties or anything cause he doesn't want any guy coming to make advances at me.On my part I'm very faithful and honest with him very sincere and loyal to him.

Stella I caught him cheating.

At first I snooped and caught him talking to an ex trying to fix a date for them to meet,I confronted him and he cried and begged until I forgave and that passed.Not up to a week again, I caught him chatting with another of his ex fixing up for them to meet that evening.

Now Stella,this is the main one there's this is his ex we've been having issues about,they broke up July cause she went around sleeping with his friends and he caught her red handed and they are in same church.

She makes comments at him while we're together and he laughs at it.she goes around saying bad stuffs about me and he tells me to ignore because she's just jealous.He tried convincing me he's over her and was even saying trashy stuffs about her etc.

Now Stella i showed him a post yesterday about a friends picture that had his exs comment on it.Not up to 20min I checked his phone and low and behold I saw he started following her on Instagram and I got devastated.I felt so betrayed and lied to .

I confronted him and at first he was trying to get angry and claim right that he followed her a longtime ago,and almost hit me.when it became obvious I had all evidences and wanted to leave he unfollowed and blocked her and he knelt down and started begging,begging and even crying that he's sorry and it won't happen again and that he needs a last chance.

I am frustrated and want to leave but at the same time I don't know if leaving is a good option or giving him a last chance,please who has been in my condition I need advise before it's too late.

Age is nothing but a number but WTF are you doing with someone almost twice your age?you should be in school and busy with your books.You are not ready to have s3x but you have become a monitoring spirit in his life?

You should not be the one trying to force him to stay faithful,get the f*$k out of that relationship and get busy before i land you an E-slap....Ooops i forgot, i am on Sabbatical!