Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.

Hmmm *thinking*

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A MARRIAGE WITH POTHOLES

Hello Stella, may God bless you for blessing people with your blog. Stella, I need help, I would have mailed you before things got this bad but I lacked the will to do so. Now I'm finished, sometimes I feel like mixing Sniper insecticide with custard and drink and end it all but my my son's innocent look prevents me from doing so.

 My story:

 I grew up as an only child in a home devoid of peace, my late parents used to fight every other day. Dad would beat mum and chase us both out of the house when it is night time and lock the door. Mum and I would sit on the balcony and cry together and then I would fall asleep while she kept vigil. I vowed never to marry from my tribe as one of my uncles who lived two streets from us then used to beat his wife and send her out naked, she would cover herself with wrapper from neighbours and come over to our house. They are all gone now, life!

 I grew up hating men, got into higher institution, up till my third year, no relationship. There was this guy who was in his final year, he had been on my case for three years, he was a gentleman and very intelligent, above all he was not my tribe man. I started dating him after shortly before he graduated. He got a good job later and proposed. 

I was overwhelmed with joy but my people rejected him because of his tribe, they told me to marry from my tribe as my parents who where already dead as at then did not like that tribe when they were alive, I was adamant, my man was a good man who never raised his voice on me talk more of beating me through out our dating. He also took responsibility of my upkeep when my parents died. Only one of my uncles supported our union but we went ahead and got married after my service four years ago. Our marriage was perfect, we were a young couple, I was 23 and he was 29, both working, had 2 cars, lived in a big house courtesy of his company, above all we loved each other. A year after marriage we had a baby boy which increased our love. My friends envied me.

 Trouble started when hubby was indicted in a fraud in his workplace late last year, he was sacked in December 2014. My hubby suddenly changed from the loving man I married, he started drinking and complaining about everything. Later we started quarrelling regularly. He was still searching for job to no avail, we exhausted our little savings on his court case with his company, we were ejected from the house and the company took their car, we sold the remaining car which was mine to rent another apartment. This June, I started doing monthly contribution in my office to raise money to start a business. The fights affected my work as I was always moody in the office, sometimes I cried in my office, I narrated my ordeal to my immediate boss, he later recommended me for sack when I refused to sleep with him. I was laid off a month ago due to lackadaisical attitude to work, some days I was absent from work or came late due to morning fights at home.

 My in-laws tried their best to make peace return to our home but things got worse instead, in all of these I could not go to my people as they hate me for disobeying them, my only friends among my people are my two cousins whose late dad supported my union and they can't  fight for me, their dad died shortly after our marriage.

 I collected the contribution money in my office and planned to leave my marriage to start life anew as he was beating me almost every day, I got a shop and started a small restaurant a month ago while also planning on accommodation when business improves, Stella, two Sundays ago, I got a call that my shop was on fire, I lost everything. On getting home, my husband started telling me that there is nothing I can do without his support, that he can set me too on fire and destroy my life. We had a fight and he beat me severely, when he went out I packed my things and decided to leave to anywhere, I searched for my certificates in the house but couldn't find them, he had taken them, I left the house and reported him to the police.

 You won't believe the police DPO told me to go and settle with my husband that it is a family thing and that I should involve other family members. I have cried and prayed and fasted, this man knows I'm an orphan with no family support and decided to treat me this way, I don't know what to do anymore, I and my son now stay with my cousin in her one room apartment. I don't have a kobo to my name, no certificate to search for job, we now eat once daily as she is still struggling and I'm searching for a manual job in the area.

 Hubby and his family have been begging me to come back that he has been called to resume work in a company, that he is a changed man, my cousin wants me to wait till December break so we can go to the village together and beg my folks to forgive me so that the bride price can be returned and the marriage can end.

 Stella, please bring out any colour of pen left and say something please, BVs, please tell me something, I need advice, shame would not allow me talk to any of my friends about this, you people are my friends now. Please note that my certificates are with him.

 Thank you so much and please pardon the length of my story.

Everyone deserves a second chance but in a situation where there is Physical Violence involved,then i say NO...even love cannot save you when he breaks your head and deforms you or even mistakenly kills you.

The decision to go back or stay put where you are ultimately lies with you....As for your certificate,I am just wondering that what if in a fit of anger,he has already destroyed them?