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Sunday, November 01, 2015

Sunday In House Gists.

Saturday in house gist 1-4 from Yesterday HERE.
Today continues from gist five - One winner.

Enjoy







GIST FIVE
JJC IN LAGOS
Hello Mrs Kork,
Your blog rocks. 
I don't know if anyone will find this funny but it's an experience I had during my IT.
That beautiful day, I took a danfo bus from Clay bus stop along Kudirat Abiola way heading to Ojota. As we were approaching John Holt, I noticed that people were running in the opposite direction while cars were turning back. 
The driver slowed down to enquire what was going on, one of the fleeing pedestrians said that Areas boys were having a bloody fight probably rival groups. The driver continued towards Ojota I was shouting at him to turn back he ignored me and continued driving. 
Me I can fear for Africa o! I screamed at him to stop and let me alight and run like the other people. He slowed down and I jumped down from the bus and started running for my dear life. The road is a slope so I could see the fighting parties in the distance gradually coming our way. As I was running, a danfo bus slowed down beside me. Behold it was the same bus I got down from that had gone to turn and head back the way we were coming from. I waved at the driver to stop so I could enter because I was almost out of breath at the time.
He ignored me and zoomed off while the passengers laughed at me. I had to run until I got to Opebi link road where a kind security man allowed some of us to take refuge from the fracas going on. I have never been that scared in my life, I thought I was going to die, it was every man to himself. When I eventually got home and told my Aunt and cousins about it, they laughed me to scorn for being so impatient. That 6 months in Lagos was full of adventures.
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GIST SIX
THE HIDDEN BREAD
My gist goes thus,I am a worker in my church's children department. At the end of each service we always make sure we clean up the place being used before leaving,most especially we have to make sure the diapers are taking out cos of the smell and stuff. 
On this particular Sunday , after service we cleaned up as usual and I ended up being the one to dispose the diapers. So I removed the diapers from the bin and I put them all in a black Lyon. I waited for the rest to finish up so we  could all go out together.
On getting outside I totally forgot to drop the diapers lyon in the bin. So off I went with it.
On getting home,I realised what has happened so I left it just by my kitchen door outside.I went into the house through the back kitchen door.
So some hours later when I was about going to house fellowship. I went to take the diapers to dispose but it was gone I couldn't find it. But because I was late for fellowship I tot maybe my cousin had dispose them for me so I went my way. When I got back from fellowship I asked my two younger cousins who helped me just to thank them. To my surprise as I explained the content of the Lyon,one of my cousin picked race into the room. I tot maybe her phone was ringing or something .But to my surprise she came back with the diaper Lyon.
In my area,there is a particular fresh and soft bread they sell and we always like to buy it in my house cos it is really soft and tasty. The kind of bread you can eat with nothing and still enjoy. What happens in my house is that,if anybody buys we always keep away from others. We call it chop alone game. So my dear cousin thought it was bread in side the Nylon ,hence she went to hide it .
.............................................................................................................
GIST SEVEN
DORO BUCCI FART.
I just remembered what happened to me some months ago. A friend
invited me to an eatery so we can spend some time together over a
meal. I actually got there before him so i decided to keep myself busy
with a bottle of coke.
I suddenly had this urge to fart,i couldnt hold it anymore and i didnt
want to leave my drink for the rest room, fortunately for me, i was
hearing Don Jazzy's Doro bucci so i decided to be releasing the fart
gradually alongside the music. When i finished farting, i noticed that
people around were looking at me, that was when i remembered that i
had an earpiece in my ear,so i was listening to the music in my ear
alone and people around heard me farting.
 I got embarrassed and shy so i hurried out of the eatery.

80 comments:

  1. Gist 7, stale gist.
    I'll pass this time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The hustle fr 5k even made the last gist' post a recycled gist, osiso!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Today's gists are not funny at all..my opinion though. I will vote gist 2 of yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I still stand by my votes yesterday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here. The last gist really? Like seriously? Ewu. Copycat

      Delete
  5. Lyon?? Really... gist 2 of Ystd, pls!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe na all these people wey dey say lylon! Pardon her. That said it's "nylon" madam so pls correct your spoken n written English sharparly.

      Gist no 7 for me

      Delete
  6. Gist 7 has been remixed so many times, Gist 6 by "Lyon" you meant "Nylon" abi? Just say polythene bag next time.
    Gist 6 I don't understand the "joke"
    Brb lemme read yesterday's own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hian. Who no fit spell nylon u want make she type polythene. Na wa to u ooo lol

      Delete
    2. Benin people call it cellophane, lol.

      Delete
    3. I am not From Benin, neither am I affiliated to Benin in any way, but IMO calling polythene bag cellophane is better than Nylon because cellophane is more relatable. Nylon is cloth material, while cellophane is that packaging material used to cover Hampers. So it's not a Benin thing. Nigerians always turning everything into a tribal thing!

      Delete
  7. all funny, but poster 1 is d winner for me this week.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gist 7 wins!!! Wait, are u a guy or lady?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gist three was the funniest yesterday, but seeing as it's only one winner, its gist 6 for me.

    Totally hilarious.

    #WhiteDiamondOut

    ReplyDelete
  10. I vote gist 4 of yesterday.that was quite hilarious..
    I can imagine, hey,heyyy,heeeyyyy!!! Lol.
    I don't care if it is copy and paste or what have you, that gist made my day.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gist five, jst imagine if there is war in this how it will be like... it is bad xperience that I dnt want to see, yet some pple r shouting 4 war.i watched nd listened to a womn who xperience d war, she was 15 yrs old then, she nd some other girls lived in d forest for 9 mnths with little food nd waterm very bad xperience

    ReplyDelete
  12. Diapers in church??
    I thought they were made to absorb things for hours, and how on earth did you take a diaper home?? what kind of forgetfulness is that... Funny story but I believe it was made up and the last gist was copied

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lol, I vote dorobucci fart, thats if it is true tho. The others tried, but only this one made me laugh

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ok I will go with dongoyaro
    That diaper gist! Dry!!! So your cousins didn't check the so called 'bread'?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lol gist 3 is funny sha but I chose 4 yesterday
    www.tosyne101.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yesterday's were the bombs. Today's are funny too though.
    My vote is still loyal to Gist two from yesterday's,
    Gist three is the first runner up.

    Stella and Cocoz, ensure you disqualify Gist four from yesterday's, if not, I sorry, you will be killing the fun, and originality...
    The "copy and paste" thing might even land you in trouble and get your ass whooped like you did to TILB Editor. You know what I mean?!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Stella the kind of English some of these guys on SNM speak ehn...o! father!..help us! and na so so Ogbos* full that place..jeez!

    ReplyDelete
  18. IH gists post is getting boring from all these recycled gists and jokes

    ReplyDelete
  19. Linda's protégé1 November 2015 at 15:25

    Gist 3

    ReplyDelete
  20. gist 7 na remixed copy and paste jare.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I still vote my gist 4

    ReplyDelete
  22. I still vote my gist 4

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dry gist jare. But gist seven try small. Gist 7.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I still stand by my vote of yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I was having a bad day but this crack me up.2 n 3 very gud!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Gist 5

    How can someone take something that is at the backyard and not bother to check it or perceive the smell to know if its bread? Gist 6, side eyes atewwww

    ReplyDelete
  27. Gist 7, that can never be ur gist. Pls Stella try to stop postin gist that's not actually the gistee's gist. . . Likewise gist 4. Ndi oshi gist

    ReplyDelete
  28. Na Gist 1 I vote for abeg: dogonyaro d mad man its so funny 2 me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Gist 5, no one wants to die joor, being a jjc in lagos is not easy

    ReplyDelete

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