Saturday in house gist 1-4 from Yesterday HERE.
Today continues from gist five - One winner.
Enjoy
GIST FIVE
JJC IN LAGOS
Hello Mrs Kork,
Your blog rocks.
I don't know if anyone will find this funny but it's an experience I had during my IT.
That beautiful day, I took a danfo bus from Clay bus stop along Kudirat Abiola way heading to Ojota. As we were approaching John Holt, I noticed that people were running in the opposite direction while cars were turning back.
The driver slowed down to enquire what was going on, one of the fleeing pedestrians said that Areas boys were having a bloody fight probably rival groups. The driver continued towards Ojota I was shouting at him to turn back he ignored me and continued driving.
Me I can fear for Africa o! I screamed at him to stop and let me alight and run like the other people. He slowed down and I jumped down from the bus and started running for my dear life. The road is a slope so I could see the fighting parties in the distance gradually coming our way. As I was running, a danfo bus slowed down beside me. Behold it was the same bus I got down from that had gone to turn and head back the way we were coming from. I waved at the driver to stop so I could enter because I was almost out of breath at the time.
He ignored me and zoomed off while the passengers laughed at me. I had to run until I got to Opebi link road where a kind security man allowed some of us to take refuge from the fracas going on. I have never been that scared in my life, I thought I was going to die, it was every man to himself. When I eventually got home and told my Aunt and cousins about it, they laughed me to scorn for being so impatient. That 6 months in Lagos was full of adventures.
........................................................................................................
GIST SIX
THE HIDDEN BREAD
My gist goes thus,I am a worker in my church's children department. At the end of each service we always make sure we clean up the place being used before leaving,most especially we have to make sure the diapers are taking out cos of the smell and stuff.
On this particular Sunday , after service we cleaned up as usual and I ended up being the one to dispose the diapers. So I removed the diapers from the bin and I put them all in a black Lyon. I waited for the rest to finish up so we could all go out together.
On getting outside I totally forgot to drop the diapers lyon in the bin. So off I went with it.
On getting home,I realised what has happened so I left it just by my kitchen door outside.I went into the house through the back kitchen door.
So some hours later when I was about going to house fellowship. I went to take the diapers to dispose but it was gone I couldn't find it. But because I was late for fellowship I tot maybe my cousin had dispose them for me so I went my way. When I got back from fellowship I asked my two younger cousins who helped me just to thank them. To my surprise as I explained the content of the Lyon,one of my cousin picked race into the room. I tot maybe her phone was ringing or something .But to my surprise she came back with the diaper Lyon.
In my area,there is a particular fresh and soft bread they sell and we always like to buy it in my house cos it is really soft and tasty. The kind of bread you can eat with nothing and still enjoy. What happens in my house is that,if anybody buys we always keep away from others. We call it chop alone game. So my dear cousin thought it was bread in side the Nylon ,hence she went to hide it .
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GIST SEVEN
DORO BUCCI FART.
I just remembered what happened to me some months ago. A friend
invited me to an eatery so we can spend some time together over a
meal. I actually got there before him so i decided to keep myself busy
with a bottle of coke.
I suddenly had this urge to fart,i couldnt hold it anymore and i didnt
want to leave my drink for the rest room, fortunately for me, i was
hearing Don Jazzy's Doro bucci so i decided to be releasing the fart
gradually alongside the music. When i finished farting, i noticed that
people around were looking at me, that was when i remembered that i
had an earpiece in my ear,so i was listening to the music in my ear
alone and people around heard me farting.
I got embarrassed and shy so i hurried out of the eatery.
Gist 7 hahahahaha ya high.
ReplyDeleteGist 3
DeleteGist 5
ReplyDeleteGist 7
Delete
DeleteTired of defending you, you're ODD. Gist 7? Really???
Gist 3
ReplyDeleteGist 3 please. Today's gist are so dry.
DeleteGist 7, stale gist.
ReplyDeleteI'll pass this time.
Hahahaha funny gist..
ReplyDeleteNumber 5 for me!
No 7
ReplyDeleteThe hustle fr 5k even made the last gist' post a recycled gist, osiso!
ReplyDeleteI vote for gist five.
ReplyDeleteAwesome God!!!
ReplyDeleteBv i thank God for you!!
Today's gists are not funny at all..my opinion though. I will vote gist 2 of yesterday.
ReplyDeleteGist 5
DeleteI still stand by my votes yesterday
ReplyDeleteSame here. The last gist really? Like seriously? Ewu. Copycat
DeleteLyon?? Really... gist 2 of Ystd, pls!
ReplyDeleteHehe na all these people wey dey say lylon! Pardon her. That said it's "nylon" madam so pls correct your spoken n written English sharparly.
DeleteGist no 7 for me
Gist 7 has been remixed so many times, Gist 6 by "Lyon" you meant "Nylon" abi? Just say polythene bag next time.
ReplyDeleteGist 6 I don't understand the "joke"
Brb lemme read yesterday's own.
Hian. Who no fit spell nylon u want make she type polythene. Na wa to u ooo lol
DeleteLol, kept reading Lyon, Lyon
DeleteI'm Rotf.
DeleteBenin people call it cellophane, lol.
DeleteI am not From Benin, neither am I affiliated to Benin in any way, but IMO calling polythene bag cellophane is better than Nylon because cellophane is more relatable. Nylon is cloth material, while cellophane is that packaging material used to cover Hampers. So it's not a Benin thing. Nigerians always turning everything into a tribal thing!
Deleteall funny, but poster 1 is d winner for me this week.
ReplyDeleteGist 7 wins!!! Wait, are u a guy or lady?
ReplyDeleteDogonyaro
ReplyDeleteGist 7
ReplyDeleteGist three was the funniest yesterday, but seeing as it's only one winner, its gist 6 for me.
ReplyDeleteTotally hilarious.
#WhiteDiamondOut
I vote gist 4 of yesterday.that was quite hilarious..
ReplyDeleteI can imagine, hey,heyyy,heeeyyyy!!! Lol.
I don't care if it is copy and paste or what have you, that gist made my day.
Thank you!
DeleteGist 4 all the way
I vote dorobucci fart...lol
ReplyDeleteGist five, jst imagine if there is war in this how it will be like... it is bad xperience that I dnt want to see, yet some pple r shouting 4 war.i watched nd listened to a womn who xperience d war, she was 15 yrs old then, she nd some other girls lived in d forest for 9 mnths with little food nd waterm very bad xperience
ReplyDeleteGist 5
ReplyDeleteDiapers in church??
ReplyDeleteI thought they were made to absorb things for hours, and how on earth did you take a diaper home?? what kind of forgetfulness is that... Funny story but I believe it was made up and the last gist was copied
What is dis one talking??
DeleteLol, I vote dorobucci fart, thats if it is true tho. The others tried, but only this one made me laugh
ReplyDeleteOk I will go with dongoyaro
ReplyDeleteThat diaper gist! Dry!!! So your cousins didn't check the so called 'bread'?
I vote for gist 3 jor
ReplyDeleteGist 7
ReplyDeleteHahahaha.
Lol gist 3 is funny sha but I chose 4 yesterday
ReplyDeletewww.tosyne101.wordpress.com
Gist seven you're a 'fart' liar!
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteGist 7
ReplyDeleteGist 1
ReplyDeleteYesterday's were the bombs. Today's are funny too though.
ReplyDeleteMy vote is still loyal to Gist two from yesterday's,
Gist three is the first runner up.
Stella and Cocoz, ensure you disqualify Gist four from yesterday's, if not, I sorry, you will be killing the fun, and originality...
The "copy and paste" thing might even land you in trouble and get your ass whooped like you did to TILB Editor. You know what I mean?!
Gist 5
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm,Gist 7
ReplyDeleteGist 2
ReplyDeleteStella the kind of English some of these guys on SNM speak ehn...o! father!..help us! and na so so Ogbos* full that place..jeez!
ReplyDeleteGist 7 wins
ReplyDeleteIH gists post is getting boring from all these recycled gists and jokes
ReplyDeleteGist 3
ReplyDeleteGist 3
ReplyDeletegist 7 na remixed copy and paste jare.
ReplyDeleteI still vote my gist 4
ReplyDeleteI still vote my gist 4
ReplyDeleteGist 7 is so so hahahaha
ReplyDeleteDry gist jare. But gist seven try small. Gist 7.
ReplyDeleteGist 1
ReplyDeleteGist 4 of yesterday pls
ReplyDeleteThe Ojota area boys gist
ReplyDeleteI still stand by my vote of yesterday.
ReplyDeleteWill vote for gist 1 then.
ReplyDelete7
ReplyDeleteGist 1
ReplyDeleteI vote for gist None.
ReplyDeleteI was having a bad day but this crack me up.2 n 3 very gud!!!
ReplyDeleteGist 5
ReplyDeleteGist 7
Delete7 is it
ReplyDeleteGist 4
ReplyDeleteGist 5
ReplyDeleteHow can someone take something that is at the backyard and not bother to check it or perceive the smell to know if its bread? Gist 6, side eyes atewwww
Gist 7 copied
ReplyDeleteGist 7, that can never be ur gist. Pls Stella try to stop postin gist that's not actually the gistee's gist. . . Likewise gist 4. Ndi oshi gist
ReplyDeleteGist 5
ReplyDeleteNa Gist 1 I vote for abeg: dogonyaro d mad man its so funny 2 me.
ReplyDeleteGist 5, no one wants to die joor, being a jjc in lagos is not easy
ReplyDeleteGist 7 of yesterday
ReplyDelete