Nollywood actress Stella Damasus............. lends her voice to Domestic Violence...Not every woman can do this because most of them are sitting inside it..
YES i said so!
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Saturday, November 28, 2015
82 comments:
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Wow, that cool.
ReplyDeleteI've heard people argue that public figures, artistes, celebrities etc, shouldn't be judged by what they do with their personal lives, but rather be appreciated for the good works they portray thru their jobs and whatever they represent in public. I may have agreed with this school of thought in the past, but I think I'm beginning to stagger, and as such I sit on the fence with that thought.
DeleteBut today, I think I can convincingly say without prejudice that if u are a celebrity worthy of public reverence, and one whom is expected to leave a lasting impression on the minds of the people, then what you do with your personal life outside your job plays a HUGE impact on how u are perceived and accorded due respect whether you are on the job or not.
Unfortunately, You cannot separate your personal life from ur job...Especially as an actor. You cannot super impose on ur audience which side of u they should concentrate on, or the side of u they are to judge u by. Yes I use the word 'judge', it comes with the package unfortunately. To remain relevant and to be accorded utmost respect and adulation, I think that it is imperative that these artistes try to ensure that their home front/personal issues does not rid them of the much respect they worked so hard to garner over the years.
My bleh bleh bleh of course is all because of Stella Damasus. As I cannot seem to separate her personal life from the identity she's trying to maintain as a nollywood actress and role model to some. It's not my fault, the brain is wired to retain. Forgive me but it's hard.
OK bye
100% on point & would like to clarify further reason why they use this platform of moral discourse. When their careers are getting no where, they seek a different platform to make themselves relevant. When their personal lives are tarnished with scandals, they opt for damage limitations - voluntary charitable goodwill ambassador community outreach- visits to the homeless, prisons & hospitals for example. Most desperate gesture, you find them carrying placards in public protest. They will do anything to put themselves in the spotlight !
DeleteU rite@Sisi. Me too can't see dis babe
DeleteIn d way I use to before she snatch person
Hussy. Dis life ehn! On point.
Sisi Eko and her asoebi group this is for you. You must be some new kinda stupid. What the hell are you ranting about? A couple fell out of love and dude married Stella so effing what? Do u know the history of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? All it took was just one movoe with her Mr and Mrs Smith and his marriage to Jennifer Aniston was toast. Today isn't Angelina revered internationally. She became d voice of d helpless, hungry and rejected. People love her more for her good works and nobody even remembers that part. Please shut up and go watch Telly Mundo kuz thats what Fish brains like you do. Leave Stella d hell alone. To Stella Damasus, God bless you for thos post. I am a victim of domestic violence and your voice has hit home. I kmow I will be free soon. Working on it. And NO, I am not Stella Damasus. I am Onyinye.
DeleteThat's my Stella, beautiful woman no doubt .
ReplyDeleteLay your hand on me and eat fried rice garnished with rat poison.
DeleteAnyone in a violent relationship or marriage might be enjoying it cos I don't see any reason they re still there, most of them give excuse of kids, not minding if they die another woman would still come and take over her home. Be wise women
ReplyDeleteThey r also there for 'love'
DeleteWhat? ' enjoy ' and ' love' domestic violence? What sort of stupid dumb comments are these?
DeleteOk o! So which way?
ReplyDeleteIf u can't stand ur wife, send her back to her parents instead of beating her ooooooooooo....thats d only way.
ReplyDeletePeople don't talk like this anymore .
DeleteTold them jare stella! A man dat can hit a woman is a coward!
ReplyDeleteI rem my ex den, d first time he hit me was in his car, after dat he begged! I forgaved, d next was worst! He beat me so much my face was swollen! I can't forget! His mother begged nd all she could say is their family diesaease! Dat their father use to beat her, now all her 3 sons beat their spouse! Afteer so much begging I let it go and forgave him, much later dis idiot was telling me dat wat he did was just sounding, was even bragging about it! God dis world! M so glad m free! I know d relationship I had with him changed me a lot! Took me to d darkside! I hated men! Drank a lot, clubbed, I became aggressive, rude!
But I bless God, m better now, I av found christ! Nd am changed!
Its nt easy to forgive nd forget, but am trying too!
Now I understand dat sugarbelle's story
Av let go nd moved on
Pls we women shouldn't engourage it pls, if he hits u once, he would hit u again. U can't change him, only God can
Move on!
Ingrish
DeleteGbam
DeleteUse ur brain naanon 20:12 @ least u understand d story! English teacher
DeleteYou try... why can't you just accept you made a mistake. ... ?
DeleteYou *forgaved* ....
Smh for you
Loool
@ dunni, u av finally Come out of ur anon form or u forgot to go anon! Pele Mr ingris! Woman wwrapper! Woman beater
DeleteU didn't follow up d contents instead u looking @ mistakes!
Stella thanks
ReplyDeleteIt's not about lending your voice.
ReplyDeleteSome women won't just listen (if u like scream ur voice out) they are just bent on dying there.
Some naive and stupid ones would even use their kids as excuse *saying I can't leave cos of d kids* didn't ur idiotic husband think of the kids b4 turning their mom in2 a punching bag.
Some gullible ones wld even say *what wld d society think or say*. Listen up!!! If u die there,dis same society won't give a hoot,some will even come and eat jellof rice @ur funeral...so i ask,who are we kidding?
Please and please y'all married women,girlfriends,fiancee...if he hits u once,twice...dnt even bother thinking he'd change cos he wont,just pick ur walking shoes and leave dt sham of a relationship.
A word they say is enough for d wise!!!
No matter what u preach some of them will never hear, I don't ve time to lend my voice to stupid women who don't love themselves.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteWaste of breath and saliva, domestic violence will NEVER end, women will remain in a marriage regardless of the warning signs of abuse, and uncontrollable tempered men will still torture their victims, no matter the preaching.... Focus on the children, its where this whole nonsense it being breeded.
ReplyDeleteShe makes sense. No man is worth my blood. Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair. One has to try to make it work but when it's not working out, na to walk out.
ReplyDeleteShe has always been a voice against DV
ReplyDeleteBut she has never been against *adultery*....
Delete"Not Every woman"?
ReplyDeleteLol...Sometimes you can make a big deal outta nothing sha.
Eh
ReplyDeleteWell spoken
ReplyDeleteShe's one woman I love and I agree with her. BB
ReplyDeleteAnyone else excitedly lookin forward to d Vladimir Klitschko/Tyson Fury fight?...finally vladimir will meet someone who's big,strong,fast n can switch from conventional to southpaw
ReplyDeleteWe talking violence, you talking Vladimir and tyson... Mtcheeeeeeeeew. Bitchplis mind thyself o!
DeleteHahahahaha, bitchplis, take time o
DeleteBitchplis....
DeleteWe are talking about the Vladimirs that have refused to go meet Tyson in the boxing ring,instead they pounce on their wives at home...
Lend your voice to this cause...I have not read your opinion on DV before. I need to hear from the male folk sometimes.
@ Olori Isis, what can be more related to violence than a fight?
DeleteWeldone, stella damascus.
ReplyDeleteNice.
ReplyDeleteThe women should also be courageous to stand up to an abusive man.be bold enough to say to him, "don't you dare". When you sit and take in all the beatings, you drive the abusive man to hit you more.
ReplyDeleteThe ones in an abusive relationship/marriage are always quick to shut you down when you talk about it, even on this blog.
Well..,its up to them.
Sometimes being bold is the surest,fastest way of getting killed.
DeleteJust walk....
Keep walking.
I know it is difficult....but menn,life is too precious.
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ReplyDeleteNo be lie o. Too many women are in abusive relationships and marriage but the fear of what will people say is making them stick their arse there to the detriment of their life. #lmustmarrybyforce, #marriedwomantinz #mrssomebody
ReplyDeleteHusband snatching is a form of DV too. Madam Ademinokan, you sef you be abuser. Shior.
ReplyDeletePlease let the husband snatching story rest. Why are you taking Panadol on nobody's headache. No one can be snatched. They are in love and his marriage was not working. Instead of him staying in the marriage and emotionally abusing his ex wife, he decided to bounce. Get it?
DeleteThank you o! Help me tell her o.this advice shouldn't be coming from someone like her. Does she know how many women that men have beaten up because of her? Does she know how many women couldn't cope with the beatings and have left their homes? How many endured emotional abuse, physical, verbal and all shades of abuse?.
DeleteJust as those men are shameless she's also shameless, not giving a hoot whose horse is gored. And as one picks a choice meat from the pot, she does same with men, so long she's not left horny.
So please your mouth stinks.....tueh...
What women do to one another??........smh!.
DeleteI sure knw sum tin like dis would come up, at d first sight of dis post.
Stella u don hear? Bring back our boy.
Lol.
God bless una
DeleteStory for the gods abeg. No man can be snatched except u use 'juju' which she didn't choose. Daniel left by himself
DeleteI knew a stupid person will pop out of this post. Anon 18.10, I di kwa very stupid.
DeleteI'm sure you'd prefer the man to remain in a loveless marriage and start beating up his wife abi. Mtsheeeeeew
Don't worry Eka. When Dele begin en own, plix dash him out ok? So he doesn't stay in a loveless marriage. Ho.
DeleteHmm, I came late but I hope you post this Stella
ReplyDeletePeople condemning sugarbelly should realize she is like most domestic violence victims who never leave that relationship because of love, money or kids..
In her case she was in love. According to all the stories on her blog she was raised by a single mom and didn't have a father figure. Her father was never part of her life. Her mom kept boyfriends of which one of them ended up raping her. That alone has messed up that girl. Ask anyone who was raped as a kid, it's either you grow up resenting men or following them about seeking for validation because of low self esteem..
She suffered from the low self esteem after her first rape ordeal and having no father in her life. This alone will make you clingy to everyone you meet wanting them to love you and doing whatever it takes to make them happy
She was a teenager at 17 with a huge crush on the accused. He swayed her with his play boy style and she fell. Seeing she was head over heels over him, he decided to use her to accomplish his fantasy. He went into an intimate relationship with her, making her love him more. He saw how vulnerable she was. She told him she was raped before by her mother's boyfriend. He saw how messed up she was and how she was all over him and decided to play out his cards. Told his friends and family he has a girlfriend who would do anything to please him and then it all set in
He invites her over, have sex with her and records it without her knowledge. Tells her he would love the cousin to sleep with her and she refused. He beats her up and threatens her with the video. She agrees to it. He apologies later and tells her oh this thing you did just makes me love you so much. She wanting a validation from men and her low self esteem decides to continue saying to herself, if I keep doing this for him, he will never leave me. He will love me forever. And it sets in. She is made to go thru kind of satanic positions and things. And she says I'll keep doing it as long as he would not stop loving me.
You might think that alone is foolish of her but ask people who have never had a father figure not as a result of death but abandonment how they fare. Then couple it with been raped as a kid. You would realize she was just a messed up girl. And the abuser knew. He fucking knew and took advantage of it.
When she realized oh this wasn't working she fled from him. At some point still kept contact with him because she loved him. She hopelessly loved him. And could have continued with their hurtful relationship if he continued promising her
She needs help. She needs a good therapist. She needs to be counseled. Because men would keep taking advantage of her. She would never be in a healthy relationship until her self esteem is restored
1 trillion likes for this!
DeleteAt 17,whay a child needs is a mother who can put down her feet and say sit down here. But she didn't have that. Neither did she have a father. Hence her curfew 12am. That alone is bad parenting. How would you allow your 17yrs old girl come in so late. She had no one to guide her and we all know of how such kinds turn out. I don't blame her for it all. I blame her mom for letting her stay out so late. I blame her mom for not putting her mind into what her girl child is doing. I blame Mustapha and his friends for taking advantage of her vulnerability. I blame them for toiling with her emotions, abusing her mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically. I took out time to read her blog and saw how she spoke about it from time to time. I saw where she even mentioned there names as far back as 2008. With tweets with her ordeal.
DeleteAnd we wonder why only 18 rape cases have been solved in Nigeria
That because even your fellow ladies would call you a whore for putting your self in that equation. The world will come up with stories to defend the accused especially when he is a big shot. I fear the world we live in.
All of these happened to just one person?? Oh my!!!! This is what I keep saying, once u have a FEMALE child and ur marriage hits the rock, or somehow, u are a single mother, @ least for the sake of ur daughter, be mindful of whom u have relationship/affair with! The girls' protection should come first. Women should stop being selfish at the expense of their kids. Ha!
DeleteYour write up makes so much sense to me.
DeleteI totally agree with you. I also feel that when she left Nigeria and continued communicating with him, she also prolly thought if they cld be away from those his cousins and friends, their "relationship" wld thrive. What rape does to a woman's self esteem is crazy and even if we start discussing it from today,we wld not be able to finish it by year end. When a teenage girl crushes on an older man, it takes a lot to let go once the man gives the attention and sometimes wld do "everything" to please the man. The poor girl needs support right now and very good therapy sessions. As for the guy, I feel so much pity for him cos all these "fifty shades of grey" moves he's got don't develop just over night. He must ve bin abused too as a kid or some twisted thing must ve happened too. I pray his darkside does not end up ruining him. No matter the amount of denial, such twisted sexual thoughts wld always come to his head and he wld wanna relive them with his wife or anyone else. He needs help too.
DeleteGod bless you one billion times for his comment.
DeleteBless you Anon...
DeleteYou have said it all.
Stella it's about time you create a like button on this your blog. Anon, your comment is Touche!
DeleteMy dear annon may you live long, and God will forever be on your side
DeleteI was crying while reading your comments. Thank you so much,
This comment deserves to be a post! You hit the nail right on the head
DeleteOkay
ReplyDeleteThe society has a role to play too. Do not stigmatize a divorcee. It is better to leave alive than to leave in a casket. The fear of being called a divorcee makes the victims stay put.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, dating a married man/woman is another form of domestic violence.
Rose
Dating a married man or woman is another form of DV? Abeg, explain
DeleteShe is VERY right! I shrink at the thought of ANY man beating me...it's something I can't even imagine.... My stand still remains, if it happens, take a break!
ReplyDeleteThe second part of this, which I'm always quick to say whenever I see such #saynotoDV talks on facebook is this-- people should also be careful about comments they make to people who have decided to leave... A lot of people make it feel like u are a failure, that's why u couldn't keep ur HOME. Before a woman takes that decision, she must have had it to the brim!
Please who would speak put for the wives whose husbands run off with other women?
ReplyDeleteHey, get out of my head. Hahaha. No mind Madam Husband snatcher God bless u for this.
DeleteOnce a man touches a woman, he has gone too far and lost his case in the court of public opinion. It doesn't matter what she said or did. So men, just walk away from them. If you dislike her enough, leave her for good. It is devastating for kids -- and maybe you and her even -- but it is the most merciful option sometimes. Men and women are NOT equal when it comes to physical engagement. It's a thin line between love and hate.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Gud of her then.... #NowPlaying>> ball hard: kels...
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Yes o babe. Tell them
ReplyDeleteNigeria is a messed up society
ReplyDeleteWe go to church the most
We scream GOD and pay tithes the most
But we are selfish, wicked and very judgmental
Sugabelly is all of us
So many girls/women in Nigeria have been raped and abused
But they will be the first to blame Sugabelly and blame her MUM
Because she refused to hide under anonymous, she gave her story, her name and her face!!
Please, the criminal(rapist) has the blame, 100% of it
DO NOT RAPE, period!!
Even if she has been raped before, DO NOT RAPE
Even if she has a single careless/carefree parent, DO NOT RAPE
Even if she is your girlfriend and spends nights in your house, DO NOT RAPE
Even if she is a messed up girl with a messed up past DO NOT RAPE
YOU cannot even justify RAPING a mad woman so DO NOT RAPE
The same way a mad woman on the street cannot consent to sex, a minor a child cann not
No excuses abeg, Mustafa or whatever his name is, no excuses
GO to court and face the law, period!!
The first time I saw Sugarbelly's tweets... I prayed in my heart for Mustapha to have a political ambition...
DeleteDino will be the last Efulefu that will ever sit on any government position again! So shall it be.
Name them! Shame them!
Nigerians are wiser now,you cannot hide forever.
Better squash that political career of yours,it is dead on arrival.
Thanks so much truth , even if he is your boyfriend he has no right to rape you .
Deletein most cases, the reason for the domestic violence is a fallout of ' the other woman' making the wife at home be subject of attack perhaps as a result of her counter reaction arising from her husband attitude towards her. Stop being the mistress!
ReplyDeleteDont be the reason foryour fellow woman tears. sooner or later you will harvest her tears.stop heaping curses on your generation yet unborn. Help reduce the violence. DONT FUEL THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
VOICE OF SURVIVOR
I am a proud survivor. Have left the union but stories keeps trailing me and always referred as a failure. People even try to be the judge and try to settle issues without hearing all the details or believing the man would change. Emotional blackmail is even used accusing one of making the kids be from a separated home.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather keep being stigmatized and be alive for my kids along with all my body parts Complete than keep being in an abused union,smile and face the music along with "over sabi bigots" and half body parts,steady black eyes or even ending up 6 feet below because of the struggle of still being a "Mrs".
Please, ladies say #No to DV#
#desist from being an enemy to other survivors
May God protect us all
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DeleteEkunie May all the demons punish you for that statement. A woman just shared her story and I call her amebo? You're the one she is referring to here. May you go through all she went through in her marriage and worse .ediot
Delete*and you call her amebo*
DeleteAnon. 13.50, That thunder will visit you and your generations,born and unborn idiot, May you never see good thing in your life, can't you see it was a wrong post?!! Why going anonymous. You would have shown your face mekagwu like you, Stella pls eneble my comment I beg you.
DeleteUna nor notice sey Stella Syracus don swallow cockroach ? She don get belle, see as she take hand cover her stomok 😺😺😺😺😺😺😺
ReplyDeleteAmebo oshi, how does it affects what we discussing here, no go carry your own
DeleteThis sugerbelly Matter ee, Nigerians are always quick to judge, so because she did not open up on time make her now a liar right, even from our so called ladies in this blog joined in condemning her. I have a similar case like hers but am waiting for the right time to blow it up. My In-law rapped my niece at the age of 12,now the girl is 16, we could not posue the case cos no one will help my family, they have uper hands. But I made a vow, I singlehandedly treated the child for the std the idiot passed to the poor girl, am spending my sweat just to make sure this girl get a sound education because we must surely blow it up, so some of the stupid dogs here will tell me "why now, after so many years " am keeping quiet cos if I blow it now they might win us. People should watch what comes out from their mouth, do not pray to see yourself or loved ones in such pain, it's never the fault of the raped person (s) but the rapist.
ReplyDelete