NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
DREAM MAN FOUND AFTER BREAKUP BUT....
Good afternoon Stella. Let me start by telling you that the blessings that God has earmarked for you as a result of the good work you have been doing on this blog are so numerous! God bless you, truly. Please hide my email addy.
I'm a 23yr old final year medical student. I sent in a narrative previously about my now ex boyfriend. He was a CHRONIC philanderer, had very little respect for women in general, and had so many other vices. From people's experiences on this blog, I started to realise he was showing me signs he would make a very terrible husband. I caught him red handed with a scruffy looking girl one morning, and he slapped me twice when I shamed him with words.
That was when I decided enough was enough. I left him that same day, and haven't regretted it. I was really hurt by all he put me through, and he almost shattered all hopes of me trusting a man ever again.
I made up my mind to move on fast, because he wasn't worth any heartbreak. I started to open up my mind to other possibilities. There was a guy that was CRAZY about me for the past year. This guy is so mature, and easily the most lovable person there is. I decided to give him a chance, and we started dating about four months ago.
So far so good, it's been more than amazing! He's a STARK contrast from my ex. He's thoughtful, honest, sincere, kind, God fearing and He worships the ground I walk on. He loves everybody in my life, and treats them as his own. We can basically talk about everything. Its been such a fulfilling and peaceful relationship. My instincts always scream that he will make a fantastic husband, and being with him, I'm kind of looking forward to being married.
I don't have reason to doubt him, even though I was dealt a thorough blow in my past relationship. I have fallen in love with him, because truth be told, there's no reason not to.
He's talking marriage, and says it's me or no one else. Wants us to settle down by next year. We were talking some days ago and I asked him about his genotype. He said he was AS. I decided to check mine out and realised I'm AS as well. Stella, I have been crying since I found out.
I really don't know what to do. I can't imagine my life without him. Are they any other options? Or am I supposed to let go of this rare breed of a man because we are genotypically incompatible? Please help. Please!!!
You are a final year medical student so you should know the medical implications of being AS and marrying someone who is...!
Please advise yourself and dont let love and desperation at such a young age blind you.I wonder what you would advise someone to do if you as a doctor is having problems letting go when you know the heartache involved in AS+AS GETTING MARRIED.
My dear,advise yourself oooh.
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
IRRESPONSIBLE SIBLINGS BROUHAHA
Good day Stells and every one, I'd like to go straight to the point.
I have elder ones that are not willing to do anything with their lives. They have been jobless broke asses for as long as I can remember. They have been like that before I entered secondary school and I'm now a graduate done with NYSC.
My problem now is that I just got a small job and I'd like to take good care of my parents as they are not rich but did everything to make me a graduate but its not possible as my parents still feed them and give them pocket money.
If I buy food stuffs in the house, they must eat out of it and before you know it everything is exhausted! Its so bad that sometimes we don't eat with meat or fish and its not like the food is anything to write home about. When we eat meat self its like full stop and we hardly invite visitors to our home.
With all these embarassment they are still comfortable sleeping all day. They are both above 30yrs and they don't even care. The house is in a bad state because we have not really had money for renovation, bills keep coming up. I even insult them with style, talk a lot about my mates that are already achieving great things yet it doesn't move them.
I have made suggestions on what to do but they must have excuses. One is quite useful though.
How do I take care of my parents without feeding them??? To be honest, sometimes I don't even care when they are starving!!!
How do I get them to do something tangible with their lives??? Its highly embarassing and I hardly tell people I have brothers!!!
I need mature advice please, my parents are not getting any younger and I want them to start enjoying the fruit of their labour!!!
Thanks in advance. God bless y'all.
Eyaaaaa....CHEI!
This is tough..I wish i know of a way you can help your parents without them getting from it but you see,even if you take your parents away,they will look for a way to make sure the goodies reache the other kids.
I dont know what to advise you cos i am a sucker for my siblings and i believe in the phrase ''if my brother is in trouble so am i''
Ehnnnn
ReplyDelete@poster 1: you are a medical doctor, are you saying you are not aware of the technology that detects if one is pregnant with SS baby? I have known this for long, only I don't know if it's available yet in Nigeria, and other side effects.
DeleteGo and do a research, you will find out what I'm saying is true. Your chances of having SS is just 1/4 (AA,AS,AS,SS). So if you are carrying SS baby, they will bring it down, since it will be traumatic for the baby. Go and find out abeg, getting a good man is not easy. You still need to study him though, it's too early to conclude.
Be wise.
Father help the posters
DeletePoster 2... All I'll say is ur brothers need deliverance.. Its not ordinary, u guys need spiritual cleansing
DeleteWhen a lady sincerely fall in love, another maga has been given birth to...irrespective of her profession. I can't imagine a medical doctor to be, undermining the medical implications of gynotipic incompatibility. Na wa o.
DeletePoster Two: Your case is not funny. But sincerely, you don't have to insult them, you need not make them feel bad. All you need to do is to encourage them and get their hands laid on something productive.
Who knows they could be the billionaires of your family tomorrow. Don't mess up guy.
Going to go anon on this. Poster 1, honey if this man is perfect fro you and you love him with all your heart and he is able to afford medical stuff, marry him!
DeleteI was in your shoes. My soul mate, incredibly accomplished, amazing man. We were together for 8 years and planning to get married but we had to break up due to family pressure.
Do you know there is now even a cure for sickle cell? Bone marrow transplant that doesn't need chemo. All you have to know is that you have to be very careful about getting pregnant. Maybe only have 2 kids. You can check each pregnancy for ss but only from 16 weeks.
The horseback I ended up with is the worst mistake I could ever have made. Even my sister who never even checked her and her hubbys genotype ended up with an ss daughter who is doing very well. No crises since the 1st 1.
Marry your love there are options.
Poster 1 are you sure you are a medical doctor? Or just attending the classes. This is something we were taught in Sec. Schl. but I guess most of you were playing instead of learning. You don't have any problem pls except you plan to have 10 children.
DeleteAnon 15:46 has said it all. Anytime you are preggy, check the babies genotype (go find out how to do that). Abeg enjoy your man if he is worth it.
Na wah for you BVs oh.
I disagree with you Stella regarding the AS lady. Love cannot be dictated by children. They can adopt or is that so far fetched?
Delete@ poster 1, no wahala babe. Follow anon's 15:46 advice. If der r no medical centres tht can help with easy confirmation of babies genetype in naija, just fast forward go Ghana sharp sharp. There are plenty medical centres in Ghana with such modern facilities 4 easy check up. The current trends on sickle cell research is showing some positive results. U & boo no get prob, carry waka.
DeleteYes dear, cry no more. There are medical solutions. Sweetheart, U're a medical student do ur research. The foetus is checked from 15wks to know it's genotype and if it is SS, it is removed. The good thing is that U have a man who loves U and will obviously support U. I have seen AS couples who managed the situation very well. Good luck dearie.
DeleteIt is well
DeleteIt is well
ReplyDeleteDon't minx xoxo and her 2 jobless sisters all
Delete3 runs girls in one family......why won't she
wonder from blog to blog and 3 girls ain't
married not one in the family is likewise her
lesbian friends......
@poster1...you're definitely not a medical student or better still not in final year cos if u were,u wouldn't have asked d above knowing fully well it's financial,emotional and physical constraint.
Delete2ndly u made mention bout having to check ur genotype aswell and found out u were AS...how come u just knew about it. Isn't genotypic test compulsory for all medical student in year1...so how come u are just figuring urs out
Elena, miss know it all.. its blood group dt schools check.. And it's always written boldly on d ID cards
DeletePoster 1. Another quack doctor in the making. Well some of us have lost the realest love of our lives due to same genotype. I miss my ex, he misses me as well. .. back to d matter. The ball is in ur court Aunty Dokintor.
DeleteP2. So sorry for your predicament. Some older ones are just plainly stupid. Just kip doing what you're doing help will come soon.
Will read comments.
ReplyDeleteBrb.
*******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Poster1 dear,try to do the test again and again,i can feel ur pain,but the bitter truth is there's nothing u can do,AS has been an obstacle is 1900,so painful.
DeletePoster2,look for apartment very far frm where u re now and relocate,at least before they find u,it will take some quality time,better still drag them to shilloh...Ma 2kobo.
I lost a cousin,cos d he was SS,a product of As+As,the child I carried as a baby,so poster plssss.
DeleteBrainless girl, ur talent must be the ability to display ur stupidity at will, pls and pls, try not to pass such empty brains to ur children, we don't need ur time fooling around in the nxt generation... Disgrace to women.
DeleteAnno15:41,the whole of your generation are brainless and idotas,so keep on displaying stupidity,jealous mofo leave Emjay alone,she doesn't send u.
DeleteSo u had to hide to say it,blind bat@anno18:27.
DeleteEmjay no look back oooo. Jealousy no get cure.
DeleteWow! The bitterness and jealousy directed at emjay on this blog is shocking!!!
DeleteBut why???
It is Stella that allows this to continue. Annoyed 15:41 and 18:27 you guys are an embarrassment to women in the world. Shame dey catch me for u! Tufiakwa. Many are mad but few are roaming. Gosh!
DeletePoster two Hmmmmmm.
ReplyDeletePoster one you are just twenty three please don't make your kids suffer because you are desperate to marry.
I am AS too and I left so many relationships because of that I am married to a great AA now
AS guys can love for Africa, making it impossible for u to leave them. AS peeps always attract their kind. Pls gentle move on.
Deleteposter 2. These days there are lots of Jobless guys around. And ladies don't care, they still go ahead to accept marriage. So just pray for desperate women to come pick them up as husbands. Tables have turn on who is working and who is the stay at home nanny.
Poster 2- your parents are the problem. If they don't talk and you're the only one talking the you're wasting your time.
DeleteI've seen cases where some women will lock the kitchen and deny their children food because they aren't contributing to the home. Yes!! But if your parents still feed them and make house and home comfortable for them, then your chances of proving a point and dodging a billet are useless. Na so my friend bear bear ooohh!! Till the lazy elder brother impreganted ekaette down the road and ekaette's mother dumped the baby in the house. The lazy elder sister carry belle for John, born pikin for house. My friend is a single girl paying fees for two people. Her mother keeps changing how God will bless her, but suitors don't stay!! Reponsibility too much and she can't even save a dime.
Look, have a heart to heart with your parents and tell them how you feel and see their reaction. If your parents aren't uncomfortable about and willing to work with u to get their asses up, honey you can only do so much. I'm sorry dear, but that's the truth.
Poster 1- My family friend who was SS just died in Abuja, after childbirth. And you are here asking JAMB question?
DeleteMy SS friend and his sister are their only best resources abroad. They take turns to look after each other during crisis. And you are here asking questions?
The only other option is the one where they check the genotype few months after conception and flush if it's SS- you are a doctor in training so you should know. But that's abortion.
Advice yourself my dear. If u see a suffering sicklar you will rethink this matter.
#RestInPeaceJill
Actually, it was Toyin and Chinyere who both got pregnant for the lazy senior brother, Ambrose.
DeleteActually, it was Toyin and Chinyere who both got pregnant for the lazy senior brother, Ambrose.
DeleteFix it Lord!
ReplyDeleteMy aunt is AS, her husband is AS.
DeleteHow 5 of her children is AS still baffles me.
Poster 1 I don't really know what to say, as a doctor, you know better.
Poster 2: stop being stingy, Lol.
#1...my 2 girlfriends will describe me exactly d way u described d guy...dat doesn't erase d fact dat I'm dating n love d 2 of dem(I'm in a very confused state)..I worship d ground dey both walk on(like BVs wld say)...why am I saying dis?in this life,there r no guarantees...if u like,give birth to ss kids cos of d love n regreet later
DeleteDat 'useless' friend's elder broda everyone called lazy in dos days is now a successful man..thank God I gave him a sense of belonging den n was his gist n politics,movies,music n sports co-analyst..I was d only one dat'l offer to follow him to a shepe joint...I'm not askin for his help now even though he's accusing me of not gettin close to him now dat he's made cos I'm waiting for d right time to ask for a big favourwhich I know he'll burst his skull to do for me...don't underrate ur suiblings cos it's not happenin for dem now
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYaaaaay. First to comment
ReplyDeleteHow is it possible that people find out able their genotype when they are about to get married or in a serious relationship??
DeleteI knew mine when I was about to enter secondary school and registration demanded for blood group and genotype
Did another while doing registration for my BA degree.
And when I was about to get married
Nope you're not
DeleteAnon 17.o6 help me ask them well oo, I checked mine when I read a story in my SS3, today you hear them saying "I checked my genotype cos he's talking marriage" better no try bringing any child to suffer because of one stupid love, and who told you you can't find love again. Aunti play advice yourself
DeleteChronicles don land. Oya make we analyze d matter. Brb!
ReplyDeleteP1 God will give u d garce to Move On... Ain't easy..
ReplyDeleteGrace
DeletePoster 1: what other advise do you need or you expect us to applaud and encourage you to marry the guy and be expecting another chronicle from you abi? Shebi you dey medical field? Advise yourself cos if you decide wrongly we won't be there to swim or sink with you.
DeleteThr must be a special attraction that binds AS ppl together, they seem to fall in love with all the right qualities, I'm yet to undrstand the puzzle thr.
ReplyDeleteLol that was exactly what came to mind while reading narrative 2
DeleteThat's really thru ,they fit in to your dream man but yet genotype just come from no were to separate them ,am also in that dilema now,they are just too good,but it does not last # crying#
DeleteLol. Same thought here.
DeleteI had same in mind
DeleteI had an ex who broke up with his ex gal friend because of same issue. And was still hung on her. He loved me but I knew if he wasn't AS he would be with her not me. They are souk mate. How they met, their stories during relationship of 5yrs. He loved me and loved the fact I was AA but I didn't know if I could handle the kind of affection he had for her even though they weren't having sex again. I just told him NO when he brought out the ring and started making a lot of speech.
Fix it lord
ReplyDeletePoster one, do urself a favour an quit,
ReplyDeleteTell him u a AS too,
If he's willing to go ahead, e concern una,
The emotional stress attached is better imagined.
Forget those testing stuff, u will be stressed..its just kak.
If wishes were horses. Sighs#
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteAs someone in the medical field,you don't need to ask us the consequences of having an SS child...
Let him go!...
You are only 23 and you still have a long way to go...
Poster 2,
Your brothers are 30 and still eating mama thank ma!...
This is not normal abeg...they need a deliverance!...
Lmao @mama thank ma
DeleteLinda i'm not sure poster and his family are Igbos. Cos Igbo boys starts hustling from secondary school sef lol
Serious deliverance
DeleteAs in eeeh. Mama thank ma no be small. I pity their wives to be.
Delete@poster 1,sit down and think about the life of your future kids,do u wish to see dem in pains or agony,think about the medical implications since u are a medical student u shld know all dis things,i know it's not easy but try to leave him or pray since prayer can solve everything...Good luck
ReplyDeletePoster 1- Awwww. What this genotype and rhesus factor can cause ehn?
ReplyDeleteI've been consoling someone iin your shoes. She just can't let go.
It is well.
Poster 2- you better buy limited stuff, cook it and put in a flask for your parents only. Cook for your parents mouth and yourself only. You have to become tactical in your ways. You can't be feeding some lazy bunch. For what? It's not even like they are making effort. Mtchewww
The advise u r giving to poster 2 won't work at all. The parents will still share the food, trust me
DeleteI wish it was possible, my parents are just too nice, if it were to be my kids, dey'll hear it. I really wish I cud do sth abt it but its difficult to help pple dt dnt want to help demselves!
DeletePoster two: Pele
ReplyDeletePoster one: double pele
Na so life be.
Poster 1,are very stupid and irresponsible .If you go ahead to marry this man, l pray your future Sickler child get u eliminated.
ReplyDeleteSenseless fool.
Kilode? Why this aggression? Are you eyeing the bf or did she send you not to have a good, stable, God fearing relationship? 'cos all you do is eating totoh up and down. Shameless thing. Even had the guts to put it as the dp, calling someone irresponsible. Why did you remove your dp sef. Na because of people like you God will fastrack rapture. Shameless sodom and gomorah citizen....tueh.
DeleteBigger fool u r,u nid sugar n honey,so as to b less bitter. Biko,swerve.
DeleteWhat sort of stupid comment is this? You must be mad for describing her with those negative words up there. Look who's talking about irresponsibility. Your name aptly describes the senile animal that just typed that bs.
DeleteFrustrated muthafucka.
Some comment shows how frustrated people are on this blog. Why all the insult. Take a chil pill biko and calm down. Haba. If she knew what to do, she wont Come here for advise. So please make una take it sofri sofre for this blog with the bitter comments
DeleteWhat kind of monster are you? Bitter, frustrated sombori!
Delete30years old ,sleeping in the house?
ReplyDeletePoster 1 at 23 you are still young don't marry him oh
ReplyDeletePoster 2 it could be spiritual and what are your parents doing about it.
Dey keep supporting dem with prayers. I pray for them too but I av lost all hopes on dem, honestly...M only praying bcos I know the marvelous work God does
DeleteStella shut up if u don't know what to say.....must u comment? How does your being a sucker for your siblings compare to what the poster is saying? Of course most people love their siblings so no biggie.....but the advice here is how to handle lazy ones....
ReplyDeletePoster you need to sit your siblings down and have a heart to heart talk with them.....they need to sit up....also put your parents in the picture....if they don't change then u need to be firm about not footing their every bill.....a word of advice, don't ever let them make u their ATM.....some family members when u give they take advantage of you. Do what's necessary but don't neglect yourself and your dreams cos of them....people should stop having entitlement mentality
But Stella didn't say anything wrong nau
DeleteAnonymous i like you. U just said my mind
DeleteYou dey mind Stella? She should be happy her siblings r good.
DeleteWhat if the Siblings insist on Sitting down? Should she wait for the day they agree to sit down?
DeleteBTW you don't have to insult to disagree with someone.
Haba anon,the way u faceless BVs insult eh...no chills. Ehen Stella,me too I'm a sucker for my siblings,but not when they begin to misbehave. Grown ups for that matter. I think I agree with The Queen...they need deliverance.
DeletePoster 1,you of all people shouldn't be caught sending in such. Practice what you preach.
I feel the pain of poster2 because it's harder to handle dese types as they are elderly to her,if she must,she will cross the line and become disrespectful!
DeleteI think it's ur parents that should adopt dat mandate of trying to make dem change!ur parents are not firm enuf!wat abt asking them to leave the house and go start their life?wat abt denying them money for card and toiletries? Wen dem see say omo everything isn't accessible and d house is unbearable due to pressure on them to leave,na with vex dem go enter road begin hustle.infact food u are complaining of is a secondary matter,no man likes his ego bruised...till den u and ur parents are only joking with them,and that's How they will remain.
Oh sing oh single oooo praise da Lord.....
ReplyDeletealways worship the gorund i walk on !!!!!!!!!!!! gals abeg make una save that una yeye statement ,It´s pure nonsense talk .. yen yen yen on da ground yen yen yen on
oschisko.
Lol..ogini kwa
DeletePained left over.
DeleteWarrisdis? Na Yaba left get this one oh
DeleteJealous much?
DeletePoster 1: Talk to yourself as a patient who is AS couple and need advice. Also put yourself in the shoes of what the children of your AS couples goes throug.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: E-get as e-bi ooo. Talk to them jor! Family meeting. They are just lazy ass. For this bad weather?
Poster one..
ReplyDeleteLeave now where you still can. Dont you both dare bring innocent kids into the harsh world to supermarket more. I know it wont be easy and you're hurting buy u guys have to let go. Pele
Poster two..
I understand you frustration buy they're family. You gotta love them regardless of their faults.
*while you still
Delete*suffer more
*but
Kai autocorrect na wah oo
Poster one: you guys can get married..bt don't ve kids instead adopt,
ReplyDeletePoster two: talk to ur parents abt it, nd tell them dt u wil reduce how u buy foodstuffs sef.
God will soon save you from karishika.. imagine your useless advice. . And by the way.. Am not the poster from yesterday...olodo
DeletePoster 1... sorry ooo
ReplyDeletePoster 2.... Sorry too ooo. It is well with the both of you
Poster 1: better find ur way ASAP
ReplyDeletePoster 2: my dear, take heart... Just keep helping ur parents and praying for ur siblings... Things will get better some day
Nawa o...things de happen
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteShocking chronicle.....
(a) 23yr old final year medical student in 21st century is just knowing her genotype
(b) a final year medical student asking BVs options for/alternatives of AS+AS gynotype in marriage
Pls are you for real? Even if you are studying Veterinary medicine or Zoology or even Linguistic? I weep for today's university graduates in Nigeria.
Poster 2
Hmmmm!! yours is a very difficult one. Of a truth I neither have advice for you nor want to be in this situation. May God send help to your family.
KikiKiki!!!!!! I love you. Even person wey dey study Yoruba Education should not say such a stupid thing. .. Bla bla Bla.. I just found out I m AS too. Mtchwwwwwww!!!!!! Na from day 1 I dey ask guy hin genotype oO if there's a possibility of me liking him. No time.
DeleteDon't mind poster one. See as she just embarrass me. Even when I was doing basic embryology,I knew these things let alone in final year.
DeleteMy thought exactly
DeletePoster One - End time Genotype
ReplyDeletePoster Two - End time Brothers
Lol..End time member of bv
DeleteSide eyes @ you one trillion.
DeletePoster 2, i cut cap for your siblings..here i was complaining that my siblings are lazy..when am complaining they don't help in house work because they are always out looking for how to raise their account balance even if i walking on the road is better for th than sit at home.
ReplyDelete1. If you trust in God, anything is possible in prayers. Have heard of similar cases and today these couples are enjoying their home together with HEALTHY kids. But if you know your faith can't carry you through, take a walk.
ReplyDelete2. If you can't offer them advise directly, only buy stuffs that will be useful for your parents. And give them money too, how they spend it shouldn't be your problem.
Hey, if I were you, I wouldn't bother my head over this. I would just do what I can for the house.
Abeg abeg, dnt decieve her with that taalk, there is nothing that God cannot do story, I believe in God nd God wil nt save u if u enter into d xpress road without looking nd believe that he will save u. Heaven helps those who help themselves.
Delete@dauda God bless u cos u jst made d most sensible comment ever "Faith'.that's a strong word am testimony u knw,being AS n him being AS but prayed n was confirmed AA. Even my uncle who is married to an AS hv 5kids now n living fine. It's all Abt Faith
Delete@poster 1 you are the doc here advice yourself, don't bring innocent child to this world to suffer.
ReplyDeleteposter two those brothers of yours need serious deliverance don't think its ordinary, i second Stella's advice to you.
thelma enemuwe said...
ReplyDeletePoster1.....I feel your ache,in as much as its not easy to let go of the one you love but you just have to in order to save itself from the pain and stress of caring for a sickle cell children....ladies,don't wait to fall head over heels before asking a potential his or her genotype to avoid stories dt touch....
Poster2.....if ure living alone, invite ur parents over so u can spoil them all u want.....
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
This genotype shit is so not funny
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you just have to let go
Or get married and opt for genetic marking...if that's what they call it
That is if you can tread that part
Poster 2: *lips sealed *
My little cousin is sick as I write this. She has been bedridden since September last year, has the worst bed sore I have seen on a patient. Presently, her hands n legs are bent and she is in pains day and night.
ReplyDeleteThis girl is just 18, had to drop out of school last year koz she of her health.
My cousin is S.S her parents regret bringing her into this world to suffer
Poster 1, no amount of love you feel for le boo now is worth the pain your child would go through for LIFE...
Think twice.
Besides, are you really a medical student?
Final year?
And you don't know the implication of what you are trying to do?
I"d ask again
Are you really a medical student?
Medical science or native doctor science?
GBAMMMMMM!!!!!!
DeleteI pray for your cousin..
Delete#Like button clicked#
Delete#Like button clicked#
DeleteI tire oooo for poster 1, a final year medical student asking a dumb question....
DeleteWe are suppose to ask u that question not u asking us.. .
Receive sense now & move on...
It is well dear..
U no go blame her ooh cos okwa ihe love na cause..u no go fit think.
DeleteCom 2 think of it my parents are AS n up til d 6th child we all AA n AS..nothing God no fit do.
Poster: U already know the answer to ur question since u are a medical student. Plz don't marry him to avoid future regrets, though it will hurt but u just have to bear it
ReplyDeleteposter2. If u have enough money, rent a house, then take ur parents to live with u and take care of them the way u desire. Those of ur brothers that has refused to work, when hunger hammer them, they would look for something to do by force.
I wish Oo...sometimes we eat once a day and it hasn't even changed d slightest thing!
Delete@ poster one I feel your pain,am still in the sane dileama DAT you are now,have cried my eyes out yet I can't even look for a way out,is just so painful.
ReplyDeleteE-hugs my dear
DeleteChai!.
DeletePele.
It is well dear..Take it to God in prayer.
Chai!.
DeletePele.
It is well dear..Take it to God in prayer.
@poster1 : please move on, God will still send a good man your way !
ReplyDeleteHope you no wan die put!!!!
@poster2 : your parents is contributing to their laziness!
Call your parents and tell them 2 stop feeding your broke ass siblings or else you will stop sending money to them.
Inukwa pocket money!
Poster 1... I was in your position... Just negodu is not the answer. You have to decide to take a step in the right direction. Of course you have options, one is Artificial insemination and the likes, where you undergo serveral hormonal treatments and then get implanted with an embryo of known genotype... while this is cool, it is expensive and exhausting. A lot of people will tell you to walk out, which was what I did and which is very emotionally draining. You are a medical professional, and this gives you a better place to know your options. Every decision should be taken by the both of you. Please weigh your options together and be prepared to live with what you choose.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you know the answer to your question, sorry dear.
ReplyDeleteposter 2: your parents are indulging them. Your parents should be the ones talking and insulting them to make a move, not you. They know your parents are soft where they are and so will keep taking advantage of it. But I don't understand how a man can be comfortable enough to be idle, depending on the kindness of others. Make your brothers shame small.
My BF and I are in the same shoes as you .
ReplyDeleteWe had been dating a year and 6months ,before I forced him to take a genotype test. He always thought he was AA.
We Wana be together . So we have researched the other option which is CVS. Chrionic Villius sampling. This is a procedure where tissues of the placenta is tested to determine if the baby would have genetic disorders . Eg Down syndrome & sickle cell . It's an invasive procedure and there's a 5% chance of miscarriage .
Now if if the baby is SS , we have resolved to terminate the pregnancy . Luckily the test is carried out at t 12-14weeks .
We have come to the conclusion not to tell any family member and bear our cross privately ,church wedding might be a problem . So we would do court and trad and lock up . I'd be going to join him in Canada - a developed country equipped to handle this.
But then I read online that some clinics do this testing too , Luth ... Sickle cell dept or so ... Putting this aside. We have started praying and fasting for a sign from God . We have taken care of all God . We have taken care of all the angles . We just need a sign or somthing . We can't talk to anyone about It . And it's such a cloud over us,But reading testimonies from other AS couple with healthy children who undertake this test and etc Spurs us on ...
I like your faith. And your bf is extra ordinary
DeleteIt's really a cloud. BV you can still find someone else. Pls think it through. All the best.
DeleteSo you have no qualms in aborting yet you mention God in the same sentence. You don't know what ur talking about. Fear God o
DeleteYou people are plotting to do abortions and you are praying.. Look to ur right see that thunder doing press up.. It's preparing for u.
DeleteOh ye hypocrites why not leave the judging to God ...?
DeletePoster 1: Are you sure you are really in medical school? I am asking because I'm surprised at your questions. How wont you know that you were AS? una no do genotype test when una dey enter university? It was even on my school ID card. Again,have you not heard of prenatal diagnosis such as amniocentesis, chorionic villus sampling, fetal book and DNA tests et al and even bone marrow transplant post natal? And you're in med school? My dear, I've been in your situation and the first thing I asked was his genotype,he said AS and the knowledge I had gave me the strength to walk away even though he was a good man.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm saying in essence is that,there are options but walk away unless you are financially and emotionally ready to go the whole 9yards. Overtime there will be strains in your relationship unless you are lucky for the 75% AA/AS works in your favour. How many D&C you wan do if the prenatal diagnosis no favour you and you know some of these diagnosis can in itself be risky. If you decide to born am,will you use up your finances for BMT? Or are you ready to manage crisis?
Do you want to cause a child lifelong pain because of your own happiness? How happy will you and your spouse be when the stress stretches you both,won't there be a break up?
Look beyond the now honey and you'll be able to make your decision. A better man will always come. Mine came,yours will. Take heart.
See typos.
Delete*fetal blood and dna*
*lucky that the*
*strains on*
Lastly,I doubt you are in med school cuz if you were,you must have done blood gp and gtype tests in 1st year (I did back then abi them don stop?) and you won't ask these questions.
@Ivory 01 God bless you for this advise, the best advise so far!
Delete@Poster 1 i think "Ivory 01" has said it all.
Well said...#whohasearsletherhear
Delete*advice
Deleteposter 1. Run.you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteposter 2. pray God blesses you more. there is nothing u can do.
Madam future doctor,
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me?
Do you really want to bring children with SS into this world, to suffer unnecessarily. bcos of your selfishness?
I can't even believe that that u gained admission to study Medicine the proper way.
U must have slept ur way into the University. And u keep sleeping with ur lecturers to pass ur courses.
U are very draft and a disgrace to medical profession by even asking this obtuse question.
Shut up!
DeleteI don't usually comment on blogs, but I'm always amazed and pissed at people when I hear them talk about genotype compatibility. AS + AS does not necessarily equal SS! I repeat: AS + AS does not necessarily equal SS!!!! By the way, is marriage all about having kids? The chances of having an SS kid by two AS people are less than having a non-SS kid - 25% < 75% (theoretically). Ask yourselves, how many of your parents knew their genotypes prior to getting married? How many of you turned out to be SS? Genotype compatibility has never been a criterion among blacks getting married here in America. Why's it such a big deal among you naija people getting married? Medical advancement has helped tremendously in elongating the lives of those with SS.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourselves (in this case, poster), would you rather be with an AA man ala your ex or your current man for the rest of your lives? I'mma say it again and again, marriage IS NOT all about 'em scrawny kids, but more about the two people coming together in love and pledging such to each other. Some raggedy ass ignorant people would come on here to talk smack about my opinion, y'all can take your views/opinions, roll 'em up, lube 'em, and stick 'em where the sun don't shine. My medical education tells me that I have more authority on this than you, sorry.
BTW Stella, stop giving bad advice based off on your ignorance. No insult intended, just speaking my mind. Thanks for reading my rant!
Lmao. Finally!!!
DeleteThe possibility is there. That is the koko. Is she a soothsayer to know the future? Prevention is better than cure.
DeleteSorry dunce! But first off you should have used your Id! You are not the only doctor here you get? So shove your destiny killing opinion up your loose ass. Yes you are right about d 50%,25%,25% but you forget that this is Africa where children asides companionship validates a marriage. Ines times of ignorance God overlooks but we also know better than to tempt God! Our parents you say? Have you ever heard of the children called abiku? Or sick kids back in the day whom were labelled possessed and thrown away when they had crisis due to ignorance? We had such stuff as tb,ss,asthma,cancer back in the day but ignorance made people label them all evil and spiritual stuff (though some of them actually were). Before you strut your stuff,do your research and stop embarrassing this noble profession,gerrit?! Yes they can go ahead and get married if they don't wanna have kids,if they are ready to keep their fingers crossed and hope for luck or if they have the emotional and financial wherewithal to tackle it. I hate the word "prolong the life of the ss child"..wtf is that? You mean you are programming a child for transfusions,drugs,tubes and surgeries even before the child is born? And you call them scrawny too? You must be a bitter person. If you have had 2 ss kids die on you,you would have a rethink. For a doctor,you lack reasoning. I just hope you don't toy with the psyche of your patients. Absolute crap!
DeleteYou are even a bigger coward for going anon to insult Stella. You should have used your Id so that we can know one more doctor who damages his/her patients.
Mwwwwah
DeleteDon't I just love Ivory01??... Bless you!
DeletePoster 2, Put it in ur prayer.
ReplyDeleteLol @Please what are the names of your brothers so that we young, single hardworking ladies would stay clear of them.
ReplyDeleteP1 Awwww so Sorry dear, this genotype thing sef, the right thing to do is to let him go, it's hard but considering the consequences I think it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteP2 your siblings are Efulefus ,NFA, no future ambition. Your parents should be the one to push them out, if they stop being receptive to their Loafing and idle ways im sure they Would sit up.
Shameless men.
Poster 2:
ReplyDeleteTactfully ask your parents (your mom should know of these things) about "visit to mediums" in the past. When the answer is a "yes", organize "family fasting and prayers" regularly until you achieve results. Do not bother if those "boys" do not join. Seen a lot of cases like this.
"The blessings of God makes rich and add no sorrows"
"The sorrows of they that seek after other gods multiply"
Google these scriptures and think on them.
Poster one;i know letting go is not easy, but you of all people should know the consequences if you should embark on that journey yu find difficult to leave, now ask ur self is that the life you wanna live for the rest of ur life? Better cry little now than cry forever of ur life. Tell ur man the truth about ur genotype, it doesn't stop yu both from being good friends, being good friends with no sexual contact attach, I bet you yu ll grateful yu made that decision today. Best wishes to yu as yu read more comments.
ReplyDeletePoster one, u don't need to go thru all that stress bcus of love, just be rest assured that it is happening for a reason. It's painful tho
ReplyDeletePoster 2- relocate ur parent elsewhere that's all
@poster1: there is solution if u have the money to undergo the process. It's called bone marrow transplant for sickle cell patients. It's passed clinical trials and now successful. Now, gone are the days people die of ss related sickness.
ReplyDeletePoster2: if you live alone or with partner then brinformation your mom to live with you ( according to what u said regarding fruit of labour). You can also divide the ration of money you spend on your family to individual quotas. example: if you drop 10k a month for family feeding and all, divide 5k between brothers and 3k for mumsi then 2k for household items. And make them understand its monthly. Then with time u reduce the figure for everyone including your parents but once a week u take your parents out shopping or weekend eat outs.
U have to be strict and form a blind eye to their needs.
Great men are not produced by bin liberal. U have to be mean even if it's to your family sometimes.
And if your living with them, u need to move out!!! Actually that's the first thing you need to do. Povertypically can be transferred by your brothers striken mindset
This AS thing is fearing me o, dnt wanna lose this babe o, wer I wan start from begin dey find another virgin?*sad face*
ReplyDeleteP1, its obvious you have to live without him or live with the agony of an SS child if you marry him by force. P2, it is well with your familt
ReplyDeleteHaving an S'S child is not automatic
DeleteBut it isn't a gamble I would not advice you to take EXCEPT GOD IS CLEARLY leading you down that path
Poster 2; the truth is no matter how annoying the situation might be, you can't stop ur Popsy and ur mumsy not to care for them with the little yu give to them, renting an apartment for them is not an option at all. Yu all should embark on family prayer and av patience things ll definately turn around for good. Yu, ur parents, brothers will smile at the end.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,God help you.
ReplyDelete@ poster 1, I ended a 4 yrs reltnship cos of dat. If he's willin 2 adopt, u can go ahead. If not. Move on,im married to aa today. And I'm havin d best tym of my life. It's nt d end of the world. You'll b fine. E-hugs
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOliviasilk and gifted hands u all cracked me up. I love u guys wallahi very blunt and honest. Ehen back to the matter. P1 let him go but please give me his contact coz am AA bfor letting him go. Hahahaha I swear u mumuness no get rival. So as a final year medic student u don't know d implications of marrying as AS wen u are also an AS abi? Biko sales of jamb form is still on gO get one. @p2. Stop beating around d bush tel dem wats up be blunt mhen I can't stand some lazy ass grown up men biko. Tel ur parent u can't keep feeding dos old fOool wen dey aren't crippled Or disabled. Infact even cripples work and make a living 4 dem sef talk more of dem.be blunt ooOh.
ReplyDeleteU r an endtime fool in one trillion's voice, must u abuse, I guess it doesn't make u complete if u don't do dat. Mtcheew
DeletePoster 1, I have nothing to tell you cause you are a huge lair. How can a medical student not know her GT?
ReplyDeletePoster 2, your parents are the cause of it all. How can your parents be feeding a 30yrs old man? Your parents should sit them down and talk some sense into them and if there's no improvement your parents should send them packing out of the house. Your parents are not in any way helping them but rather they are destroying their future.
I knw an AS dt married an AS and both they v 2 kids who turned out to b AA,thy said they prayed and did everythn in faith,2ndly thrs a way doctors can find the genotype of a baby in d womb(Buh cn u go thru dt?
ReplyDeleteAll these AS stories. .don't even know what to advice.
ReplyDeleteI think if God's hand is in it everything will turn out well
My own case, we once did the genotype test as kids
It turned out all 6 children were A A
Mind u my dad is AS
When I met my hubby
He told me he was AS
I didn't bother cos I thought I was AA
Fast forward after our introduction his parents insisted we should go do genotype test
Boom! I was AS
First he was the best perfect boyfriend I have ever had
Secondary I was already preggers!
Our parents weren't so happy when we insisted on going ahead.
Hubby is financially very ok.
After doing d cvs and confirmed the baby was AS
We agreed on doing ivf with pgd for the next baby
Boom! Just 4 months after having the first baby I mistakenly took in again
We were devastated
We had to schedule for another cvs
I was so sad I started asking if I took the right decision. ..though the cvs test isn't a painful process tho
The result came out and the baby was AS. Another miracle
After 3 years I finally went through ivf with pgd.
Though we planned to get twins but just one embryo attached. Today we are parents of 3 very healthy children. 2 boys and a girl. Looking back to the period I did the ivf... The egg collection process was only the painful part.... I kept on crying that I put myself through all these nonsense
But looking at my family now 8 years after marriage
With all the chronicles I very been reading here
God specially gave me that man I call husband!
AS or no AS.
Tired!
Poster pray or .... I Don'tknow again
Goodluck
Poster 1: everybody will tell you to leave thinking it's that easy to leave. This is the time you'll see couples who r both AS with AA children and they'll tell you you shouldn't worry and you should stay. You r a medical student and know the implication of what you are about to do. Still, God is still in the business of doing miracle BUT...
ReplyDeleteHave u checked if he's the idle man for you? Have you prayed about it? My sister, if he is your Mr Right, even Genotype won't separate you guys. You should know what to do now.
Poster 2: There's nothing you can do. Sometimes, it's better we do things, not for ourselves but for the fact that it's a good thing and you want God to bless you. Continue buying the food stuff, cook, even if it's just oil rice. And then when your parents have their own personal request, tend to it. Your siblings r matured, we know but soonest, they'll come to see life the way it is.
*ideal
Delete@ One, just show God you trust Him by doing the right thing.
ReplyDelete@ Two, do you pray for your siblings? Am sure you have made your resentment of them obvious. Just thank God you are not in their shoes. Don't kill yourself but do what you can for all concerned and pray for them.
poster1. i can relate to ur story. i am AS too and its like all d amazing ppl in this world are all AS. all d relationships i have had went down due to AS thing.i guess you dont know what it means to have 4Consecutive r/shiPs all AS.most times ppl that advice you know nothing about what it feels like and Nigerians are not ready to explore the medical options we have.
ReplyDeletei am currently dating a guy now n he is talking marriage n yes he is AS bt we are going through wit it.
we have decided to seek medical help(there is IVF; pre selection implatation) talk to him and you guys shld decide on ur best optionvthat is if you are on same page.
Idiot 16:35,better stop that rubbish relationship. Two senseless fellow.
DeleteIt is ur types that doesn't care about the wellbeing of their children. Ur only care about fucking ur selves.
Gf kwa! Yimu, wen dey barely have credit for important things!!! They can barely donate N100 to save a life! Thanks to my father in particular, dey wud av died of hunger!
ReplyDeleteLazy relatives everywhere. Some cant hold down a job but will keep popping kids every year, then they expect your to help them pay school fees, house rent, feeding money! Dear poster 2, I know how you feel cos my parents who should be enjoying their old age with the much I and my siblings send them every month are faced with having to fend for some grown ass idiot relatives who are only men when it comes to jumping on top of a woman. Keep taking care of your parents as well as you can but let them know you are not happy with the situation at home. God help you.
ReplyDeleteYou are talking of relatives, she is talking about her brothers.
DeleteP 2. Carry ur brothers go visit father mbaka or any other powefull pastor or bring them to my father he is a very powerful in native pastor. He has too much power in native pastor.
ReplyDeleteP 1. Marry ur book. Am not even sure say u are a medical student or u are a herbal student. If u a science student ask this Question, what did u expect me Act student to ask.
All i read on here is..."he is talking marriage....way too many desperate girls on this blog. They keep jumping from one relationship to the other cos of marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 u re not a medical student, to be seeking advice from us on medical issues! Poster 2 I am in d same boat, tho mine is not as bad as urs! I cater to my whole family, pay rent, all d bills, down to feeding n pocket money, hw I am currently handling my own, is dt I ve enrolled dem in skill aquisition courses! If after dt, they still cnt find their feet, I wud be at peace dt I ve done my best n cnt kill myself! I think u shld try dt too, if u can afford it
ReplyDeleteposter2, eat out after work n give ur parents allowances. how they spend it isnt ur biz or move out of the house n use ur money to do something beta for urself. ur bros might make u their enemy , or think u r getting proud. if u keep bugging them . its their lives....... whateva
ReplyDeletep1, continue , by d tym u give birth to s.s and they die .. or u keep spending both money and resources to sustain their lives. u will recieve sense. dokita alabere.
Poster one
ReplyDeleteIf you can go thru aborting a child all the time you find out they are SS then go ahead. You are in the medical field so you know technology has expanded to a case where you can check the genotype of a child before they are born. To help you make decision. If you can bear the pains then fine. Who says you won't have AA and AS all thru.
Poster 2: get your own apartment, invte your parents when you can afford and treat them well, save and invest for your future. Your lazy sibblings / family that you are sacrificing your life and happiness for, when the chips are down they won't be able to help you. Think twice and make good use of the opportunity you have, remember life no get duplicate, treat yourself well cos you deserve some pampering too.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 as a medical student you know the consequences of AS marrying AS so no need of seeking for advice cos you know the answer. Poster 2 all I have to say is family is family no matter what. I don't have anything else to say.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 : if the man has a lot of money and lives in a westernized society, I would go ahead. With the latest medical technology, you can check your baby in vitro and have healthy babies. But if you r gonna stay in this Naija with broke ass us and,don't try it
ReplyDeleteposter1.....i knw hw u fil buh pls dnt go ahead wif dat marriage,tink f d kinda pain ur child or children ll go tru,its hard buh God ll c u thru,u'r still very young dear..
ReplyDeleteposter2...y nt talk to dem&also pray 4dem.
Iim in luv!!!,my hubby has been cheating on me since I can remember lol too much heartbreak plus one of his babes sending me pictures of them together and stuff in August I met a man I loved him too much and he started misbehaving now I've met a man 20yrs my senior he's a big boss and a boy at heart and I love himmm sooooo much this I'm not gonna let my love show too much lol he worships me!
ReplyDeleteA final year med student is asking this qtn? Naija schools na wa.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, google PGD + IVF.
Why din't you both check before you started dating. Very important especially when you have marriage in sight. My aunt has lost 2 sons from Sickle Cell so I know it's no joke. All these people singing about stem cell and what not, can you afford it? Goodluck abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. I'm afraid there's not much you can do as long as your parents condone their attitudes. You just have to bear with the situation in the meantime. Pray about it and for crying out loud, set up a family intervention for them.
Dont mind the poster...She brought her chronicles about her ex just three weeks ago, and she has another bf already....mtcheew..Desperate girls
DeletePoster 2, good or bad, family is family. I believe in the saying, "he is not heavy, he is my brother". Keep praying for them, advise them when you can, don't put them down.
ReplyDeleteAnomymous 15:31 GOING TO CANADA TO MEET HER BOYFRIEND.
ReplyDeleteNice move but wrong choice. I am a doctor and understand my bible very well by the Grace of God. CVS; chorionic villus sampling is good. But girl do not shed innocent blood else you are committing murder upon all your "fasting". See Proverbs chapter six: The Lord says that he hates hands that shed innocent blood. (There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
17haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD)
The professor that taught me pediatrics in university was a sickle cell patient; i.e. SS. You may get pregnant with the future prime minister of Canada and murder him or her!
Keep religion and science separate . That is what is crippling Africa . I cannot bring a sick child into this world . So if I am 40 and your patient &pregnant and the foetus has genetic abnormalities , you would advise me to bring the baby into the world ? pls take ur holier than thou attitude somewhere else . Like girls have never aborted for you in all ur years on earth !
DeletePoster 2..I feel for you sha
ReplyDelete1. Genotype shattering some people's happiness since mgbe oshie. Pls advice yourself and pray for a replacement with GenoAA.
ReplyDelete2. If u save up n give them to start smthing that moni will go like that. Some of this can be spiritual, let them go for deliverance that's if they will agree that they've problem. Keep doin yr best until you settle down n move out that way they will feel yr impart n stand up.
The second letter or narrative - whatever it is!! My dear the FAULT is all your parents I have cousins all above 30 and still living with their parents 0- with no shame the elder daughter even has a daughter with a NOBODY lying ass man. You cannot feed your parents without feeding them - your parents condone it to be very honest. I know people will say I'm talking because I do not know or haven't experienced it, but my parents will not take that type of shit from me at all - the moment I become good for nothing I WILL BE SO GONE OUT OF THEIR HOUSE. There is nothing really you can do - it's more your parents that need to take action otherwise you will continue feeding everybody
ReplyDelete