This makes me wonder,if we cannot forget,did forgiveness really take place?
I am no saint and also caught in this,sometimes the memories come in a rush and comes with a little bit of annoyance,which sometimes graduates into being really pissed off and then.....what?
What have you forgiven but cannot forget?
I dont like wearing rings and you will hardly catch me wearing my wedding rings (got married two times with two different sets of rings)..thats cos someone wore a ring on me for a year but turned out that three of us scattered all over the globe wore same ring...LMAO..I have forgiven him and we are best of friends today,we joke about what he did and why he did it but if i wear a ring for too long i just get angry...I only wear rings socially..LOL
This is just one of the many things i remember but then i always remind myself at the end of it all that it is forgiven!...confusing huh?
What's yours?....
Kikikiki
ReplyDeleteYesss stella,where my chronicle comment??? I won't forget.
DeleteKikikikikiki.
If I forgive,i forget o, except u remind me,...pastor preach abt anger today, and he said anger is the same thing as temporary madness...I just remembered all the times I must av gotten really angry,i was just laughing cos he's actually right!
DeleteThank you Lord for the gift of life and sound health. Nothing is comparable to healthy life. Sickness I'd not my portion. Back and better, Alhamdulilahi.
DeleteIt's easy to forgive but to forget, I don't know about that.
*Larry was here*
I have forgiven my husband for hitting and humiliating me because of he's girlfriend but I will never forget! It's a wound that opens everytime I hear or see someone one get beaten or everytime o hear the word unfaithful I relive every moment. I pray God heals me of this trauma.
DeleteWow u are God sent, there is someone am thinking of forgiven but I feel am going to look like a fool cos it will be the second time she has hurt me. I just wrote out all she did to me now maybe it will ease how I feel.
DeleteAwwww Andrae, just wanna hug you now. But they will call me TGW wannabe.
DeleteIt is well hon. Just be strong.
Sending this in anonymous.. Have I forgiven my bae... I still dunno... all I tell him is I have but I know I will never forget as long as we together. .
DeleteWe prayed for a job to pull through..
It pulled through. So he had to travel to go do the job for almost a month.. we were chatting and talking on the phone. . Some issues came up about our perspectives but I didn't count it as anything. ..
we hooked up for our anniversary
I noticed he was acting so weird... and i kept on asking what was wrong he said Nothing....
and booom he confessed to sleeping with a chick on the last day he was to leave where he travelled to. .. This was a girl who had been on his matter long before I knew him. .. Reason he gave. . He had given up on us...
I cried my eyes out cos I felt I didn't deserve it. . Where would I start from. ? Will i be doing single and mingles with other fellow Sdk bloggers..?I tot I had an almost perfect Bae!!!! Then I asked if he was still in contact with her and he said No... He apologized and begged. .
I took him back.. the fear of starting allover again was so terrifying. .
I must confess he as been trying to earn my trust back...
Every month I used to look forward to our anniversary but since this incident I don't like to remember the date...
I woke up in the middle of the night praying to God to give me the strength to forgive and forget. ..
Forget. ......???? I know I will never forget. ..
LMAO it makes me remember back then in UDSS
DeleteAndrae u did runs too so enjoy d karmalicious gf
DeleteMy grandma(Mum'smum) hurt me when i was in jss 3. I spent my break in one of her rich daughters house dat just put to bed.. I was treated lik an house help ..when other children re slpn i will b washing or doing chores dat i didn't do in my parents house.. We re average But nt as rich as my aunt.. I can never forget d day my grandma.. Said 'do i see wat i eat in my aunt house to eat in our own house' just bcos i took licked mere bornvita. I was just 13.. When the break was over . I told my mum but she overlooked it.. That was d last time i steped my feet in my aunt house.. Till now she's confused as to why i hate her nd my grandma so much.. Although they are both changed now.. Dat was 10yrs ago
DeleteStella, continue swallowing comments that sniff you out okay? Continue writing imaginary chronicles...
DeleteForgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget what happened. It just means that taken whatever happened in good strides and have gotten stronger and wiser. It's also means that you won't allow the events of the past to foster negativity in your heart.
DeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDeleteWhether I forgive or not, I never repay evil with evil. I know I've even done things for friends that have wronged me without thinking about it.
DeleteThat's what makes me better than them. So I guess I forgive, dunno if I forget tho but I sure don't act on it
Stella I dnt get u...are u saying dat u were once married 2 a man with 2 other wives elsewhere? ??????
DeleteI can never forget what Stanley and his friend Ola agoi that works in first bank did to me. Infact I went to the moutain untop their case o. Both of them hurt me so bad. Haaaa those two boys I cannot forgive them. Never in my life. If I see them on the street I will stone them.
Delete@Prisca
DeleteReally???
Read again pls.
It's impossible to forget. God gave us memory for a reason. As a Christian forgiveness is a must, you don't have a choice.
ReplyDeleteNo strength to type , I am tired.
DeleteI have no grudge against any one, even though d person I call my friend did not attend my wedding for reasons I don't know, but I have forgiven her whole heartdly.
DeleteNo time for hate joor...
Mine is cos of one stupid ex I always feel things re too good to be true n that any rush of happiness will end soon n sadness will follow. Having this internal state of being unfulfilled. I always want more. Something is not complete inside. I keep grasping
DeleteThe chat is so funny.
ReplyDeleteInfact, it made me remember some things that happened during my school days that have affected my relationship with people up till today.
I've forgiven o but I refuse to forget because it must not happen to me a second time.
True some incidences with fellow students during my secondary school days, really affected the way I interact with people now, unfortunately, negatively.
DeleteIt is easy to forgive but to forget is hard..
DeleteMay God help us
reading comments!
ReplyDeleteMe too!
DeleteI'm more careful with who I call my friends now though, and who I tell stuff.
After my 'friend' showed me who she really was.
Now it's just 'hi' and waka pass though it was painful what she did. I remember I stayed up one night and was just crying cos it was very hard to forgive her. I forgave her though, but I'm wiser now.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me
For friends hmmm... I remember my first roommate showed me shege.... I can't fit to forget.... I Dodge her like kilode... Her wedding, her calls, her invites etc etc. Abeg I forgive her but mehn! That friendship had to end.
DeleteMy husband cheated on me before and during marriage. I never found out until the first year in the marriage. I am not sure if he is still cheating but matters not no more. All I know is that I must cheat on him back with not less than 5 men for a duration of not less than 5 years before I think of forgivin, And forgetting. I will only remember the good times I had outside my matrimonial bed with those 5 men. Then, I will forgive and - forget. Times are changing, no be only married man fit fuck around. The floor is open to married women too- who says we also don't get tired of fucking the same man every time? Nonsense.
DeleteAs in eh, dts soo me right abt nw
DeleteAs in eeeh
DeleteAt anon 21:13. I support. D bastard of a husband I hv cheats on me regularly.marraige neva reach 3 years. His speciality is fair girls esp cleaners. God punish dat bastard. I must cheat back.just a dustbin fucker
DeleteE plenty oooo I can forgive but can't forget. But wen I forgive I cannot use it against u anymore....
ReplyDeleteIt's really not easy. As humans with brains, we don't forget. But I think what forgiving and forgetting means that even when you remember, you don't feel the hurt anymore. Back in uni days, I had this very close friend, in fact we were so close that you could hardly see one without the other. We had minor misunderstandings of course, but nothing we couldn't resolve. Then in fourth year, she did something that really hurt me, me being really crazy and hot headed then, I revenged with something worse . That's how we started growing apart. We still managed to patch the friendship. But the Last straw was what she did to me in law school. ...jeez!!! Shook me to my marrows. I honestly can't say I've forgiven her cuz I can't think about her now without remembering what she did . Needless to say, that ended the friendship of course, we're more like acquaintances now, and though she tries to keep in touch, the friendship has been broken beyond repair.Forgiving and forgetting are easier said than done.
DeleteIt is normal to forgive but to forget is hard.
DeleteU are not alone on d issue of forgotten.
Explosion in lagos, oworonsoki precisely, pls confirm
ReplyDeleteI can't forget the way my first BF broke up with me... Since then I use the same lines he said to me..
DeleteLast night I just gave TED his walking papers.
its just a drain breaking up with someone delicately.
This is my routine line>>
its me, its not u
of course we'll still be friends
Blah Blah Blah......
Ok byeeeeeee.
Deep down I wish..
I can let go and give a dating a try.
I just don't want to be dumped again.
Lolz @that chat
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do,It's nowhere near easy to forgive someone who has hurt u badly.But if eventually,we cross the 'forgiveness bridge',forgetting is an entirely different issue.As a matter of fact,I think forgetting is more difficult.But I believe with time,the memory fades and in some cases,it doesn't... Forever! But that doesn't mean one has not forgiven.
I totally agree with u @sweetheart.
DeleteEven after forgiveness, I tend to sometimes remember wat Dat person had done and it then bites me. To forgive is easy but to forget is somehow hard.
Pamscrib.blogspot.com
Spot on.
DeleteI can't really remember any. I'm one of those that once I vent I forget.
ReplyDeletesame here
DeletePerson never do u serious thing.
Deleteyou have not really been hurt
DeleteI wish I will have such grace seriously...
DeleteI don't forget, never and sometimes I begin to doubt myself if I actually forgives, cus can't see the reason I should remember a past and still feel
I have forgiven my d man who deflowd me,buh i no fit forget d ruthless manner we broke up!
ReplyDeleteI have forgiven jonah for removing subsidy during d yuletide,buh i no fit forget d suffer i experienced 4 upper iweka onitsha,on my way bck 2 lagos.
Only God forgives n Forget.
Sometimes its not the offence that's the problem, its the offender!
DeletePple u least expected!!!
I'm an easy goin person though so pple hardly get on my nerves!
Yes o, not the offense but the offender
DeleteMy fiance told me she cheated on me twice while we were in the university, I have forgiven her but the stupid guy keeps calling her and whenever he calls, I just get pissed.
ReplyDeleteyou are a side boo
DeleteOdiegwu really..
DeleteIf she still gives him attention,then something needs to be done,but as long as she accepted you,then forget the distraction.
DeleteForgive and Forget is not Possible lai lai.. unless you have amnesia, When people say Forgive and FORGET, the forget here means whatever it is they did that you are Forgiving them of must Not be used against them again, that's just it.
ReplyDeleteStella that your Story got me confused, Married twice with 2 sets of ring ke?
Let me explain, Nuvi.
DeleteShe got married to the same man(her husband) twice, making her have two sets of wedding ring.
She was engaged to a man who engaged two more people till she found out.
The experience has put her off wearing rings for too long, except socially.
Stellz, abi I get am. * side eyes *
#WhiteDiamondOut
Howdy nuvi honey?
DeleteOk I get it now white Diamond.
DeleteHi North Dakota, i'm good.
Hahah white diamond I hail ooooo. This your explanation na one in town.
DeleteI have FORGIVEN HUBBY for farting in the room last night, but I will never how the awful smell turned my tummy for close to 1hr msheww lmfaooo
ReplyDeleteStella Kpele oo..
*Never Forget
DeleteVex with ur sef, Na u cause am, no be u give bros food Wey make am mess??
DeleteDt called true love,lol
DeleteHahahaha..... Very funny. I can so relate. But dat one wey fit turn belle na killer mess.
DeleteMBA..... Farts are epic.... I no DE forget Dat one
DeleteHmmm,i dnt forget easily...there is a frd dt betrayed me,even thou she hv beg me,bt anytime I wnt to call her,I will jst remembered wt she did to me nd cut d line,till nw I dnt tink hv forgiven her,i pray d Lord restored my heart to be able to forgive nd forget.
ReplyDeleteDon't call her. She's a snake. Listen to your instincts
DeleteWow.some men have strength sha.
ReplyDeleteTo forgive comes easily and naturally than to forget.
ReplyDeleteWhen they say forgive and forget,how can one forget totally what someone did or said?that would be like having amnesia or something.
For me,I would define "forget" in that context as not letting the past get in the way of the moment.
If someone hurts you and you forgive,even though you don't forget,you don't bring up the issue that you claimed to have forgiven,like in the above chat.
I forgive quite easily.matter of fact I don't know how to stay mad @ anyone.but I don't forget per se.
Its hard to forget most especially when u have a photographic memory.
I think the phrase that best suits me would be Forgive and move on,letting go of the hurt. as opposed to "forgive and forget".
Madam Dakota, the word is "Eidetic", not "photographic" memory.
DeleteBe forming intelligent, meanwhile, head dey pain you. Better drop the act and open your mind to learning, Mrs.Lokoja with an American pedigree my sexy arse!
The terms can be used interchangeably. In your bid to be mean you just showed yourself up.
DeleteLmao! Anony don finish Dakota abi na dabota. Oh! She was born in north London and her mum is d first person to have restaurant abi na fast food joint lagos and she also lost millions of money and properties within two months. Kikikikikikikiki.
DeleteLmao! Anony don finish Dakota abi na dabota. Oh! She was born in north London and her mum is d first person to have restaurant abi na fast food joint lagos and she also lost millions of money and properties within two months. Kikikikikikikiki.
DeleteYes we forgive but it is only natural not to forget we are humans not animals!
ReplyDeleteI don't have such storage space in my brain. Once an incident is past and I express my mind, I forget completely and I move on without ever giving it another thought. I am too busy and too happy to be carrying and nursing grudges around.
ReplyDeleteLife is too short to spend it being miserable.
I'm telling you.
DeleteBearing grudges is a heart boiling baggage.
#WhiteDiamondOut
He cheated. Caught him. He swore it wasn't a sexual relationship but the betrayal of being wit some1 else jus less than two years after marriage broke me to pieces and almost made pushed me to the point of insanity.... Forgave him... But can I ever forget? Sometimes I feel I av not totally forgiven him... Still hurts each time I rmba.
ReplyDeletePS.. The babe ugly sef.. And its added to my pain. Mtscheww.
Miss white
Ex runs babes be shouting when their husbands cheat. Just shut up n enjoy his escapades.
DeleteKeep quiet there. 2 years my ass. Me I be side chic to man wey marry last month. Small time now I go carry belle :)
DeleteAnd no thanks. I no wan marry.
Na dat one dey pain pass
DeleteNot sexual, then what? Emotional??? Where I bin dey nah?
My dear, the best revenge is to create happiness for urself outside him (not cheat). He will keep wondering what u re upto and panicking
#sillymen#
May God help me because I hardly forgive
ReplyDeleteUnless it's a minor thing, if you hurt me it breaks me and o will hold that grudge.
my ex slapped me outside some years back, siezed the phones he got for me just cause I was chatting with a chyker. Of course the relationship ended there.
Till today he is still begging me to forgive him, he irritates me, the embarrassing moments flashes through my memory anytime I see his massage on fb. I always tell him"look o can't forgive you"
God please give me a forgiving sprit.
Forgive him jor. Mtcheew
DeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI don't even want to remember some instances.
But the truth is that, there are some sins that can't be forgiven/forgotten. No matter, how hard U try to.
God sef nor fit forgive satan. *straight face*
#skatesaway
Coming back from chuch this afternoon and the anger of what my friend did to me came flashin back..I am tryin to forget it..mayb I shld just forget her and I wld b able to forget what she did.
ReplyDeleteLmaoooo @ the chat.
ReplyDeleteIt's always easy for the one who hurt the other to carry on like nothing happened.
Lieeesss.....secretss....I tire
ReplyDeleteDo share...!
DeleteI forgive. ..yes I do. Infact I do it soo easily BUT I don't forget. Not because am holding a grudge but rather because I never wanna make the same mistake twice. I'm a sucker for learning. I never have to learn twice. Just once is enough to keep it etched in my memory as a constant reminded never to make a mistake twice.
DeleteBut d guy didn't ask for forgiveness then now,so I don't blame d guy for doing wat he did
ReplyDeleteIt is not easy to forget but the truth is that time heals every pain.If u remember the wrong that somebody did to you,it will not hurt the way it did when it happened.So,life goes on and both of u can still be friends again.
ReplyDeleteMy ex beat me up and i almost went deaf on my left ear because his other gf came visiting and i confronted him about her. He has begged and begged and even promising to send me abroad for my masters. I just can't forget,i have forgiven him tho. Sometimes the memories just come rushing like you said and i cry nonstop. Well,i am happier now because my boo is the best!! I still can't believe i'm not dreaming. #ilovelove#
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
ReplyDeleteMe forgive??? Kwakwakwa
Maybe the day after forever. Some people are not worth forgiveness, just make your peace with God and try to move on. Me? Forgive???
There's nothing like making your peace with God when you can't forgive your fellow human #forgive us our sins as we forgive others who trespass against us# unforgiving spirit is a sin, and you know what? Sinners can't make heaven. JESUS CARES.
DeleteStop fooling yourself...... If u don't forgive you can never make heaven.... I can't make peace with God and still live in unforgiveness
DeleteMy ex beat me up and i almost went deaf on my left ear because his other gf came visiting and i confronted him about her. He has begged and begged and even promising to send me abroad for my masters. I just can't forget,i have forgiven him tho. Sometimes the memories just come rushing like you said and i cry nonstop. Well,i am happier now because my boo is the best!! I still can't believe i'm not dreaming. #ilovelove#
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
Go abroad na
DeleteHeeeeei...i hope my sis doesn't see this cos till date no one knows what happened...sorry Zee.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
ReplyDeleteSome people were sent be the Devil to test his competence. When I think of how some people have hurt me. I will not repay them but if they were dying in a fire, I wouldn't spare a drop of my urine to put off the flames.
May the good Lord have mercy on you.
DeleteMe I forget before I forgive sef.. I av selective memory.. I might v forgotten what u av done.. buh everytime I see you I remember I am mad at you buh cant rem what you did.. and den we go begin think am.. lol.. I forgive easily too sha.. just apologize n dts it..
ReplyDeleteCan u forgive ur hubby when he cheats,when a man doesn't take d vow to heart and even goes as far as mocking u....how does one forgive that and move on,how do I stop hurting and stop thinking of ways to hurt him back???
ReplyDeleteGet a lover...
DeleteWhere is VIVA CIARA? I miss her comments though..... Hope baby is not over stressing yo!?
ReplyDeleteSomething silly like that.
DeleteBut they're cool now.
I have forgiven way to success international college teachers(wassico) for stripping me of deserved glory and crown in 2006,but I will never forget. I have forgiven I. For lying to my face that we're still couples even though he has taken another gal home to mama, but I will never forget.
ReplyDeleteWhom God has no man can cursed...
Once u truly forgive someone you forget.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteWith all the millions you have you still don't have common sense what's all this pace for?
DeleteYou are too old for this rubbish!
DeleteIt is well dear.
Deleteit just aint easy to forget o. lots of people av forgiven. but jst cant forget. dia f...up jst pops up once i c dem or hear dia name.
ReplyDeleteI have forgiven the who rape me,but I haven't not forgotten
ReplyDelete*hugs*
DeleteTo err is human
ReplyDeleteTo forgive is divine
To forget is more often than not impossible
Knowingly or unknowingly in words n actions;
Ppl must always offend u
And u must always offend ppl
Wot u don't even count as anything, somone else wud count as offense.
If somone offends u n u choose not to forgive then u r also holding ursef down, funny enof sometimes somone might hurt u n not even know it n u dat is keeping d grudge gets to suffer d hurt alone. Hence if u r opportuned; kindly talk things over with whoeva has offended u. If d person apologises; plsss forgive. If d person doesn't apologise; still forgive n hand d person over to God.
Most times after u hv forgiven d person its human not to forget d offense n d offender but d best way to know if u hav truly forgiven an offender is if u remember d offense n u no longer feel bitterness plus rage in ur heart.
Its not easy sha....d Lord will help us all.
I hav 4given my sister but can't forget 4 duping me wit a stranger.Ekwy
ReplyDeleteSometimes its really difficult to forgive talkless of forgetting. I dated a guy 6yrs ago,I can say we were serious to am extent but his attitude surprised me when I missed my period,he told me point blank dt he has low sperm count & dt I was probably cheating on him.I knew he was lying bcos he refused to follow me to the hospital or present the result he claimed to have &i let it go bt I thank God I didn't loose my life while trying to abort.I'm married with 2kids today,even his ex dt I know is also married with a child,he's still single & doesn't av a child yet. I still remembered how it all hpnd,I find it so difficult to 4give him even though I can't forget bcos I didn't cheat but I realised he played a fast one on me. Anytime I remember,I alwaiz curse him
ReplyDeleteSame story with mine, after he got married with no kids he called me to apologise n pls free him, he has 2kids now tho. Didnt know curses worked
DeleteI forgive most times but find it very difficult to forget especially when it comes to something that affects me directly
ReplyDeleteOnce one wrongs me,i just vent and drop it there, and that is it.
ReplyDeleteBut then,i don't have much friends to be doing unforgivable things to me.
My closest friend;we understand our differences and give each other their space, plus we think alike, to come and start backstabbing one another. * waves at Jenny*
Forgive any typos,make I go eat food abeg.
#WhiteDiamondOut
I always scare off the people that try to come close to me cos of what they did to me in high school.i never talk about myself now and I am always frowning. God help me
ReplyDeleteTruth is, in actual fact 'forgetting' is a logical mental function which is beyond our control, we cannot choose what to forget and what not to. So, yeah we can forgive but not forgetting, except it's reference is in the affectionate context. Whenever I read/hear bout forgiving n forgetting, I psychologically change those words to 'moving on'. Life would always happen, the act of picking ourselves up, dusting off and moving on is one part we have no option than to accept. So...yeah, we all forgive and most likely than not, we don't forget..lol..
ReplyDeleteLi-yon Vls
To be honest if u get mind hurt me, i go get mind pay u back....It is called revenge.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest if u get mind hurt me, i go get mind pay u back....It is called revenge.
ReplyDeleteTo forgive,yes i can do that,but to forget? It's another thing entirely which once am hurt,it sticks to my memory like aradyte
ReplyDeleteI have friends who have hurt me real bad, i still play and joke with them, i have forgiven but i cant forget. I plan on getting my revenge back someday, it maybe 10 years from now or 50years from now, i would revenge back all because i dont believe in karma, its just a word people use to console themselves.
ReplyDeleteHahhhahhhaa
DeleteYou are a typical example of the guy in the chat above.
Lmao
Forgiveness is very important in human nature and CHRIST JESUS also teach us
ReplyDeletehow to forgive so those we wrong will forgive us aswell but in matter of
forgeting i dont think is in human nature cos those who wrote the Bible and every
book story did not forget it and also we go to school and have an exams and test cos
the teacher wanted to know if we has forgot all they teaching us..
from swiss
Forgiveness is very important in human nature and CHRIST JESUS also teach us
ReplyDeletehow to forgive so those we wrong will forgive us aswell but in matter of
forgeting i dont think is in human nature cos those who wrote the Bible and every
book story did not forget it and also we go to school and have an exams and test cos
the teacher wanted to know if we has forgot all they teaching us..
from swiss
Four years after my marriage, still dont know how to forgive my brother in-law who told me that over his dead body will my wedding hold, and he conspired against me, labelled alot of accusations against me. His brother did not listen to him. But to God be the glory i am happily married with his brother. But dont know how to forgive him cos he went too far to stop our wedding, even when we have shared the wedding card alrealdy. Ekwensu!
ReplyDeleteDo u know u are a compound fool? U had to write this with ur real name in full glare? I bu nnoo ezigbote onuku!
Delete*forgive my epistle*
ReplyDeleteI just laid on my water bed
Alone with my thoughts
I just remembered a guy I was friends with in d past wen I was a corper
He was sooo into me
I dint even lyk him enof to date him
To him I was his dream woman but d only snag he saw in me then was that I am "fair skinned" yet he wud not let me be
I dint knw if he expected me to rub charcoal all over my borry to fit into d kind of complexion he desired.
He was not into any committed r\ship then sha cos he n his then dark skinned girl where on d verge of breakup(I know so cos I tried to help dem settle then but d guy wud have none of that)... he'd usually give me his fone then to ansa d babe cos he dint want t speak wt her. I kept on advising her to be patient n pray that dia r\ship wud eventually fall back into place.
Anyways, he finished service n went back to his base
with promises and promises of love
*rme*
What dd I get in return» His babe got my number
she called me, cursed, insulted my life n wished me death cos she sensed d guy was into me
It's really messy sha
Thank God I dint sleep with him
Cos d guy kud not stand his ground then and tell it to his babe"s face dt it was over
I was so so hurt deep down
That even afta d guy(he n d babe eventually broke up) apologised I dint want to have anything to do with him
I blocked him on whatsapp
Refused to accept his face book request
Refused to see him
Years down d line now,
Hmmm I decided to check him up on Facebook
And I can see he's doing fine for himsef
His current babe is fair skinned also(hmmm I hope he"s not deceiving her sha) cos he"s flaunting her lyk dere is no tmoro
Lo n behold I opened SDK's blog n see she's a post on "Forgiven.....but not forgotten
*co incidence*
As much I have not forgotten how ds guy in question hurt me in d past
I don't feel bitter anymore
Jesus has fixed my heart
Hallelujah!
I am glad I have moved on
I am with somone who can stand up for me.
Hmmm...madam pls pick a struggle! U don't even like him enuff to date him,he is into u while u are not,u ve never slept with him bla bla bla,yet u are hurt he dumped u! Who do u think u are fooling? Do u think we were born yesterday? Guy man probably fucked u blue and black when u guys where at ur PPA,then left u after service to live his life and u are here forming one thing one thing. Pls tell urself d gospel truth,if u really wanna heal. Why are u "vexing" if he didn't suck u dry like an orange and threw u away? Women and forming. Pls move on jare!
DeleteAll this Epistle for a chyker u dint date n claim not to give a fuck about?!? U even went as far as stalking him on fbk... U are all shades of stupid sha to be decieving ur sorry self..Better move on n make ur present life count!
DeleteAll this Epistle for a chyker u dint date n claim not to give a fuck about?!? U even went as far as stalking him on fbk... U are all shades of stupid sha to be decieving ur sorry self..Better move on n make ur present life count!
DeleteI forgive but I also learn a lesson, I won't get close enough for you to hurt me again as I can't let my forgiveness become foolishness
ReplyDeleteExactly...
DeleteThe issue of forgiveness is quite controversial because it means different things to different people. Like most trite quotes, rattling the "forgive and forget" mantra will be as smooth as silk from the mouth of a person who isn't in the eye of the storm. It's only when you've been hurt that you fully grasp how challenging forgiving and forgetting can be.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, forgiveness can be conscious as well as subconscious. You may feel like you've forgiven the offender, you may even go ahead to restore the relationship and all seems peachy. That is conscious forgiveness. However, if you notice that, in spite of the restored friendship, you still feel pain every now and then, the forgiveness is not subconscious.
A classic example is what you've just shared with us, Stells. Obviously, there are some unresolved issues with your best friend and it's reflecting on your dislike for rings. I guess rings remind you of that initial betrayal. That's perfectly normal because you are human but you need to get closure, that's the only way you can forgive consciously and subconsciously. Forgiveness comes with zero hard feelings.
Forgetting, on the other hand, is more complex regardless of the fact that it is intertwined with forgiveness. Forgetting, in the context it is used, doesn't mean permanently erasing that incident from your mental faculty. Unless the offended person has memory issues or an incredibly short attention span, it's almost impossible to completely forget.
Everything that happens to us is locked up somewhere in our minds. The mind has a way burying traumatic events in such a way that a person may have no recollection of what transpired. That's the mind's defence mechanism. So, completely forgetting an offence is illogical. I believe when a person has truly healed from the pain and now has closure, a conscious effort can be made to lock up that memory and if it occasionally pops up, the person can genuinely laugh about it with no hard feelings. That, to me, is forgetting.
While we all should strive to forgive and forget, there are certain things that will be unwise to forget. It's foolhardy to learn 1 mistake 3 or 4 times. Some scars are reminders to avoid certain mistakes. Forgetting means looking at emotional or physical scars, not with a heavy heart but with a peaceful and knowing smile.
Ronalda the epistle writer is back...
DeleteLearn to summarize. You know it's a JAMB question? "..in 3 sentences... " Etc. that shows real cleverness
DeleteAnony 20:19...please maintain your lane. This blog is coming back to what it used to be. End of bad grammar and poor analysis. And hate comments. You peeps should relocate to another blog. Game over.
DeleteThe indepth analysis is from Ronalda. Go read old posts.
Show respect.
Yawns!!!!! Madam,pls not everything deserves an epistle biko!
DeleteI am gud at forgiving and forgetting really but some people just don't deserve forgiveness talk more of forgiving dia atrocities. Lau, i ve forgiven u yet again for all d insults and bs. I actually feel sorry for u cos am very sure u need to go spend some time at Yaba left. You are troubled. Wat woman can ever stay with u? I just wonder.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, like u know me, am very forgiving and i hate bearing grudges so we ar gud but i swear on my mother's grave, u ll never hear from me again. Ever. Would av sent u dis msg personally but since I ve deleted u on every social media platform, dis is d only place possible.
Hmmmmm in my place you don't give out a pregnant bride,such was my situation when we were planning my wedding but had to cancel all plans when I was discovered pregnant few weeks to the wedding! My friend moved in to help while she came to nig for summer,she was kicked out of sch as she couldn't complete her fees,her boyfriend refused to pay as agreed,i paid her fees and her rent and gave her pocket money...... she said thank you by snatching (for lack of better verb) my man,lied to him the baby wasn't his. ...let's just say it's been two years now and he hasn't set eyes on his baby, called for DNA but he never showed up! Have I forgiven her? Yes! Haven't I forgotten? Tell me how to forget when each time my belly rowls in hunger and my baby is out of school, tell me when each time my I face humiliation by family how exactly to forget! Maybe it's just a dream right? Hopefully I will wake up someday..... But what if it's not? How do I get closure? How do I "unlove"him?
ReplyDeleteSorry, but why did you " forgive" her???
DeleteHmmmmm
DeleteDeep!!! Hmmmm
DeleteForgive wetin?? She doesn't deserve forgiveness abeg. God will understand
He was never urs to begin with! Moral of the story...u can't use pregnancy to pin a man down. Ndo,nwanne!
DeleteGive a day to rant and rave.
ReplyDeleteI forgave my then fiance now husband for cheating (that is story for another day cos i thought this guy was a saint)! We got married and now as wicked as fate is i keep running in to the girl he cheated with how do i forget when everytime i see her its like an almost healed wound being forcibly opened. I have nothing against her, heck i am even corteous to her. she is just an unpleasant reminder of an event that broke me and a niggling fear of such happening again in the future. On another note men out there do you ever cheat and then change or would you cheat again once you have done it once
ReplyDeleteI will cheat with him again. Who are you? Kmt
DeleteI don't keep things in ma mind o.. I forgive n forget.
ReplyDeleteI forgive but forgetting depends on the level of the hurt.
ReplyDeleteThought I was the only one who doesn't wear their wedding ring. Haven't worn mine in years. Matter of fact, was thinking about it this morning.
Most people born between late July and late August (Leo) hardly forgive and forget. They see you as a threat to thier thrown if you offend them. They are naturally nice and great people to be with but try not to offend them bcos they can be blunt and diplomatic
ReplyDeleteWow, u knw this! I'm Leo and I've been accused of not having a forgiving spirit. But how do u forgive someone who deliberately hurts you (and turns around to apologize?) wtf were they thinking?
DeleteThrone
DeleteNa true. Leo will never trust u in his lifetime if u deeply hurt him or her. They have natural influence
DeleteShit my son is a Leo, his dad abandoned us and he will never forgive him
DeleteEwwooooooooo dis is real
ReplyDeleteThis could pass for a chronicle of blog narrative . I read this blog every day but hardly comment . Stella I love your sense of humour and creativity which makes you stand out among other bloggers . My husband of 8years contacted HIV not before we got married but years after . How? . One day he told me we should make love with a condom I asked him why ?he said he was iching that he had contacted a toilet infection I found that strange because I didn't not see him iching because I'm a very observant person. He later confessed he was having sex with a girl when the condom busted . He apologised I was cold towards him which made him uncomfortable . I told him if he wanted me to get a closure to the matter he should tell me all those he had slept with that I know all but he should confess himself . He told me he had had sex with some men as well , yes you read that well . I swear I felt let down completely . I then told him to go to the doctors . The test result H I V Posiitive . I thought of a divourse also thought on the impact it would have on the kids . I was down I felt like handing him over to the devil to kill him but I also thought my children will be fatherless I struggled to cope I cried I cursed I swore but it didn't help . To cut the story short since we married he has being a genourous provider though. I was watching a programme someday on TBN 700 club and a couple who the wife got involved in adultery told their story how her husband forgave her and they are back together as a happy family . I believed that was the day I forgave him I wept when I saw that programme I then mentioned his name and said I FORGIVE YOU . God healed me of that pain because after that day I have felt the light because I have let go the pain and betrayal . So we now make love with a condom . Lol . Sorry for the typo error can't proof read . And the long story . Never told anyone this before but just thought it will help someone .
ReplyDeleteSorry for the heart break you went tru. God will continue to bless you. If to say you were the one that got the disease by now he would have left you and married another wife. Some men are just heartless. I guess now his wondering prick will now always be in his trouser. Thank you for forgiving him. You have a good heart. GOD BLESS YOU.
DeleteWow! You are a strong woman.
DeletePardon my ignorance, but even with the condom, ain't you still scared?
I can't forget how Gbenga Kuyinu who was like 4 yrs older than me when I was like 6 yrs old asked a boy to lay on top of me when we were playing " Mummy & Daddy play " then shouted that people should come see us f--king!!! I didn't even understand but my mum beat the hell outta me and when I grew older I knew the implication of Gbenga ' s evil and though I have since told my mum what happened but I can't forget. How can I go back to my neighbourhood to tell everyone else the true story!
ReplyDeleteBehold.... I met the same guy in Uni years later and we finished same year.... He avoided me for awhile but I can't still forget.
hmmm, i try so hard to forgive n forget but i av being hurt soooo bad by people around me. my parents labelling me a witch at the age of 7 and locking in a dark room without water and food for 7 Days.
ReplyDeleteor is it my sis trying to snatch my blbf(now hubby)
or even my hubby doing his own.
dis has made me reserved, cautioua and wise woman.
but tru it all, God saw me tru. enjoying my new hubby. it takes grace to forgive and greater one to even forget.
U must be frm cross river. Because na only them dey believe say their pikin wey dem suffer born na witch. Ur family bad gidi gan! Even hubby wey ur sis wan snatch when he was ur bf is another thorn in ur flesh. Sister,pls visit mfm!
DeleteVery interesting
ReplyDeleteI forgive but I don't forget especially when u are my very good friend and u stab me in d back. My exes know dat. Stella it's not easy to forget especially when u really trusted that person o! That was how I thought one buffoon in my office was my close friend until he insulted me lastweek Thursday. My eyes don clear now. Never trust any1. The stupid married man with bad breath! I can't forget sorry!
ReplyDeleteU wanted me to be ur bed mate And i refused and told u off. And u had to come back to say that i insulted u but didn't say why. I read this comment and I just knew it had to be u. Nike,shame on u! Why not tell the reason why I insulted u. Please I love my wife and can't cheat on her. For ur info,u are actually d one who has bad breath. Shameless gwegs! I can't leave my wife for u! Choke on that!
DeleteI have selective memory that doesn't mean I will not remember the bad things people have done especially when you don't apologise.....Sometimes I let it go for my own sake and peace of mind because life is too short!
ReplyDeleteI forgive but to forget is hard & d last thing I will do is to use it against u but I will maintain my lane..
ReplyDeleteI forgive others so DAT God will forgive me too...
When u forgive u have peace within u, dats my way of life so DAT peace will reign in my heart..
My motto is: Forgiveness is sin. I don't believe in forgiveness. I get away from people who hurt me that way there is no cause for reoccurence. Life hasnt been any better.
ReplyDeleteThat is very wrong because u need to forgive to be able to truly move on. I understand moving away to avoid re-occurence but forgiveness is key if nothing but for yourself as well
DeleteLol
DeleteThis your motto ehnnnnn
Onye obiakpo!
Delete@anon... you right jare....
DeleteOk is alrite
ReplyDeleteEvery man can fogive, only God forgets.
ReplyDeleteTrekking in d sun for 2hours is not something you'll forget in a lifetime o :-)
I can never forget what my baby daddy did to me. The lies he told about me. How he deceived me and wasted 12 good years of my life. I'm still bitter. In fact, I can never forgive him & the curse that is following him now no be here
ReplyDeleteBaby daddy is not a husband! In fact,u are the foolish goat for allowing him waste 12 yrs of ur life. If u were my sister,I will disown u. Idiot!!!
DeleteIf i can forgive my hubby for sleeping with my best friend,that means i can forgive anything.
ReplyDeletehe has cheated more than 1000 times and i keep forgiving.
Ur hubby is a dog! Forgive me for saying that,but sleeping with ur best friend????? In fact,he will rape ur cousins,ur maid and even his daughter (s) if care is not taken.
DeleteAnd na una dey claim happily married for this blog abi??? Imagine d community dick of a horse-band!!
DeleteYou sure your hubby really loves you?
DeleteYour best friend? Other chicks more than a 1000 times? Hmnnn...
Your marriage leaves me worried for you.
I hope he is cheating with condoms?
Sometimes i wonder the kind of person i am. I forgive in the shortest time. I dont hold grudges, as much as i would like to, my nature does not permit. But i never ever forget. I will be sooooo stupid to forget cos i need that to focus and learn from it.
ReplyDeleteIts somewhat hard to forgive especially when the offender doesn't apologise and still find ways to stab you in the back.
ReplyDeleteMy x I loved wit my heart and everytin broke up and cheated on me and wat of frends everytime I remember it hurts like hell but I go to church and I forgive but honestly I can't forget esp dat x cos I trusted him wit everytin #good riddance to bad rubbish
ReplyDeleteGet over urself! All relationships must not lead to marriage. He was never meant to be ur husband because I know that's the reason u are refusing to forget.
DeleteMy sister in law hit me and called me names in the presence of her pple, that was soo embarrassing.... To say I dislike that babe now is an understatement, she never apologised, we just moved on but can't get the situation outta my head
ReplyDeleteMove out of her house and go and marry. What did u do to in d first place? Problem inlaw.! As if she just hit u without provocation.
DeleteI forgive but do I really forget Nope...4ever fresh in my memory... just like yesterday
ReplyDeleteCharles Olumide Atoki!
ReplyDeleteI have forgiven you for sexually assaulting me in 2003 but I don't think I can never forget! Your single wicked act scarred me and negatively affected my relationship with men for so long.
Thank you Jesus for your healing power! However, Charles I pray nemesis catches up with you!
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ReplyDeleteOriegwu! Tomorrow now, u will be wandering how people decoded u. Too much info if u ask me. Na u sabi shaa...
DeleteSorry... must have really been painful. .. buh tru it all u came out stronger. ..
DeleteWow!
DeleteJust let go and let God.
Some people are just so...eishhhh!
This life, hmnnn...The earlier you learn to stop trusting people, the better for you.
The word 'trust' and even 'loyalty' is dead!
My dear love yourself and the right friends will come by. Choose your friends not the other way round.
DeleteForgiveness is when you set a prisoner free but later discover that you are that prisoner
ReplyDeleteSome ppl in this world think they should be able to do anything to you and you should forgive and forget about it always.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI see people have turned this to confessional? Heheeeheeee Oya kwontinue...hands out holy water
I curse my ex husband COO and his only family may ur sisters and any female child born into ur household suffer the way I have suffered in my marriage to you , may u never have peace ,and never hear the sound of a child in your life time, saddness and sorrow be your daily bread. KARMA IS COMING FOR U,CURSED AND USELESS MAN. May ur mother live to cry tears of sorrow and affliction on all her children.
ReplyDeleteIn the bible says forgive no where said forget.
ReplyDeleteIts a lesson. The memory might not be your primary thought but will still be stored. Scientists have proven this.
Well I use to be mumu for kindness poverty has shown me that when you forgive you move on. Those perpetrators don't need to be in your environment to proof you have forgiven and forgotten.
My exes have proven you can't forgive and forget. Their ego let their revenge take toll on my kindness. Never again.
During counselling I learned believe them when they show you and choose your friends let your friends not choose you. Love yourself.
I forgot how selfish they could be by applying to the letter forget.
When revenge and gloating is served to you. Vampires Crocodiles will teach you never to forget. We live in the last days as book of 2 Timothy 3:1-5
Not only Exs other friendenemies. Now that they have children they are all trembling their conscience is catching up with them .
Bvs please pray for me as continue to press on for my health and career revelations are coming forth.
The mistake I made was forgetting, not loving myself, and not following my intuition.
I don't avenge but forgetting has not worked for me.
R
You used diabolic to gain access to my star. You monitor me.
ReplyDeleteYou are that insults me and make me the butt of your joke.
You that use diabolic to gain access to my gift
You that trying to initiate me to bondage of lesbianism .
You that said you want me to lament
You that fired the arrows for sickness
You that judged me yet diabolic claim want me to be your wife
You that said who can marry me
God you seen my list
The wound may heal,but the scar will remain..
ReplyDelete**Som Baby**