How do you handle people who show up at your house unannounced or uninvited?
I'm asking because I don't get how a family member, friend or in-law would visit you unannounced like they do, and expect you to receive them properly. Oh, worse are those in-laws who feel entitled to your home and can show up at any goddamn time.
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| SIT DOWN AND LETS TALK |
Ok, so you just got married and trying to adjust to the new living dynamics and one inlaw feels s/he can just show up at your home announced and stay until he or she pleases? Or because you are dating, you feel you can just show up at le boo's crib anytime unannounced?
Is your home the type that is open to all and sundry, so everyone's welcome to visit anytime they want? Or you are the type that is overprotective of your home and do not take it likely with unannounced visitors?
I live in a country where such cannot happen,it might but you know that its not done.I call my in-laws before i visit and they do same.My friends do not show up unannounced at my doorstep and the few times i did it i felt uncomfortable and stopped it..na wah!
Do you have any experiences with unannounced visitors? Please share.
Its a Nigerian thing
ReplyDeleteNo matter who you are, you will go, call me, and then come back... I can't visit anybody unannounced.
DeleteHow is it a Nigerian thing? well, I don't like unannounced visits, even though once in a while you get have pleasant ones. I believe that since technology has provided us with communication gadgets, we should be less invasive.
DeleteDont Leave Your Friends Behind!...Click To Spread The Truth About This Pandemic!
Let me read comment
DeleteIf u come to my house unannounced, I will send you 2 boys quarters.
DeleteNo time
Hmm,Stella preach o.I hate it wish so much passion!!! My friends won't try such with me and I won't do it to them.Infact,i hardly even visit friends that they always complain.I was raised in a family where everybody minds their business. No uncle,aunt,cousin or any relationwhatsoever can just show up unannounced, you dey craze ni? My mom won't take it.I remember when one of my distant cousins tried such,My mom warned him seriously,and he left the next day.Nigerians should learn to be courteous, as it saves you stupid embarrassments.
DeleteIt's not a Nigerian thing, it's an African thing. We try too much to copy the west as Africans, must we be like them?
DeleteI believe as Africans, we should have drinks and things ready for unannounced visitors, especially family members, close family members. We can always tell them to call before coming, if they don't make it an habit and accidentally or once in a while shows up unannounced, let's be hospitable, it becomes rude after telling them and they still come in unannounced, if you don't tell them, you can not always expect them to assume it's wrong coming unannounced.
I can't expect to be rude to my dad, or mum, or father in-law or mother in-law because they visited unannounced.
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My dia my in laws have this sense of entitlement. They come unannounced, eat food I've kept for hubby, take things without asking. In fact I wish I had not married an Igbo guy. Hubby is ok but his family r something else. We have been battling it for almost 15 yrs. oh and they backbite like mad
DeleteWas just reading all the comments, see single girls with their sharp mouths dey talk say I don't like it, in fact my friends and family know me...and u think someone will marry u with that attitude? Berra learn to be nice and welcoming to people and strangers, u never know who u will be welcoming. Later, u will be complaining I'm 40 and unmarried, no one wants to marry a woman who is unwelcoming and cold. Ask our parents if they had this bad unwelcoming attitude, they will say no...they didn't marry at 40 o!
DeleteAtleast married women have their reasons coz some relatives can be over bearing. I'll say this to we single ladies, even if it's with a cup of water, just welcome the person, if d person complains u didnt offer them food( a sensible person won't even do that, as he/she came without informing u) u sha welcomed them, even if na pretend, u tried...
My 2cents
My close Family are always welcome to my house, even if i am not around, i will give them the key,, But the trouble making and amebo uncles ,,, i will draw you a line first before you start to do nonsense..because i know weitin you come to look for, i no go waste your time,,i go give you , give with transport money join, make you dey vano dey Go.
DeleteLemme siddon read comments, Stella abeg shift
ReplyDeleteWell, for me, I've gotten so used to it o! With my husband's work,,, it's a reality we have to deal with! Someone who is to write jamb, just comes to the church, (directed from the branch of our church where she attends) and she/he would want to stay over for the weekend, till d exams are through!
DeleteA woman has issues of domestic violence, and all she thinks about is the Parsonage!
Many many examples like this, we CAN'T send them away! Since the Pastor's wife must be 'caring and accomodating'... I only get bothered when there's nothing to cook for them...
My mother-in-law...is wonderful...she has been my succuor even during the stormy days, and she knows her boundaries...she comes unannounced, but doesn't stress my life out!
My brother-in-law was the 'master of unannounced visits' till he got married...and in his case ehn...he no wan hear say food no dey house... Na 'madam, time don reach for lunch o!' 'Madam, I wan eat roasted plantain o'... At a point, I just gave him free access to the kitchen so he doesn't disturb me.
In all,,, I've come to accept some of these things as realities I have to face! HIS grace still remains ever sufficient! Lol
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DeleteMy FIL is no1 in this matter, shows up @ anytime. Sometimes we're preparing to go to bed and he shows up. And I'm not talking once in a while. He comes almost everyday. Like 4ce in a week. Like that's not bad enough. He comes with a friend. My MIL on d other hand calls b4 coming. So whenever she's around, I take proper care of her.
DeleteApply wisdom in any decision you decide to make.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... my MIL decides to show up yesterday unannounced, jst called DH dat she is @ d airport coming, I almost scream WTF is she coming to do? Jst held myself, when she came she would tell am not in d mood. I like 2 be informed by family and friends b4 dey come to my house. I irk d helloutta of when they jst showup.
DeleteMy one day silence will pass the message
DeleteIt's an African thing. But honestly, some people over do it. Some come by 7am, 7:30am etc. They will stay, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. All without being invited. As for me, I don't have many friends. Soince the money stopped, friends ran away. No visitors again. As the money come back na, I've lost contact with so many of them, so I don't have that problem anymore. I'm grateful for that drought phase cos it has made me wiser. There's so much peace.
DeleteNo, if u don't call before coming who will open d door for u? I think dis only happen in naija.......
ReplyDeleteStellakork e blike say na only married peeps u b wan ask dis question? Lol.
A lot of peeps will come here to complain meanwhile dey do worst!
D truth is Africa way of living is very diff can't be compared.
How can you show up in my house unannounced? Lol.
DeleteAnyway, you do it at your own risk cuz the likelihood that you will meet anyone at home is zero.
In the days where mobile phone was luxury and a big deal in Nigeria, it was the norm and quite understandable. However in 2015, there is no excuse not to contact the person, it is just the proper thing to do even if you are the mother.
Lemme read comments on this one
ReplyDeleteI'm not a people person.. if I no see you I no worry.. my friends av to even beg me to come over.. n even after I decide. . I wld call u b4 I leave my ouse.. I wld let u knw if deres traffic. . I wld tell you when m on ur street. . I wld tell u when I get to ur door.. I dnt av 1 serious extended family.. if we no see.. we no see.. when we see.. we see..
DeleteGreat Topic!!
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna relax and read! I don't have this kind of problem in my home, hubby is a no nonsense man!
O dirokwa achi ma ori ma ori.
I feel you, but I hope his "no nonsense" wont end up isolating you guys...
DeleteGod forbid shit happens, then you'll realize people are our clothes, our cover, our protection...
Hahaha...odirikwa achi. Hahaha.
DeleteWhy are all bvs called sexy, ibo??
DeleteIf you as much as knock on the gate without first calling, you will answer yourself and go back.
Deleteit depends who d unannounced visitor is to me. i really dont have much p wit dat tho i notify ppl b4 showing up @ dia crib n yes i pay unnanounced visit to leboo; he kinda like d surprise of coming back from work to see me in his house.
ReplyDeleteYou go soon find wetin you dey look for
DeleteHahaha
DeleteKikikikik,i laugh in spanish.
DeleteI have fucked 52men,am I a whore??? I cnt tell anybody. Am 34yrs old,married,but I feel baaad.
ReplyDeleteMtcheew
DeleteSo we should leave the topic at hand and start praising you or advice you not to feel bad?
You're not a whore. Forgive yourself and love yourself and everything will be fine
DeleteNo u r not
DeleteLol
Did you keep a diary counting all the men or what? Are you still meeting other men while married? If so, repent. If it is in the past, move on.
DeleteHow are you able to count them? Abi you been dey write their names down? If its true no need to feel terrible. Lets all that be in the past and face the feature on a clean slate.
DeleteInteresting. Dont feel bad. Just try not to go bak to ur evil ways.
Delete52 only? Lol.am 34 just like you and I have fucked more than a thousand men and counting.
DeleteDid you keep a diary counting all the men or what? Are you still meeting other men while married? If so, repent. If it is in the past, move on.
DeleteThanks everyone,Its so heavy a secret but I hv no choice but to carry it to my grave. Am sori for making u deviate a little from d topic here,dis is wat was on my mind,my past escapades.
DeleteUr own whore no get level. Infact you are a spoilt brat. Give your life to christ before it will come back to haunt you. Jeez....
Delete@potable : that was a very honest answer
DeleteNo you are not a whore. You are only a whore if you are still doing it without your husband consent.
DeleteMy sister, this life no hard like thart. Give yaself a break. Me that I'm a good girl nko....one day I decided to count and I was flabbergasted! i shouted, e don reach like that? Anyway, just forgive yourself.
DeleteI personally don't like like being snuck up on. I need to know if someone is coming to see me so I can prepare for it. Cos one thing I hate is not having anything to offer some one that visits me or allow the person spend his or her own money in my crib. So I need a heads up
ReplyDeleteStella,thats Nigeria for you...where people more especially relatives do this...
ReplyDeleteand if you shut the doors on them they will call you wicked and heartless...
Our home used to be like that when I was newly married but Nna mehn,I had to act fast...
I don't want to die before my time all in the name of pleasing some people that will end up calling you wicked more especially the so called relatives...
Thank God we now have our own house...if you come unannounced,Adamu won't open the gate for you shikena...
Gbam!!! That's the way forward.
DeleteIf you come to my door-step unannounced, immediately you see my madam gagool facial expression, nobody will tell you you aren't welcome.
ReplyDeleteSome people would even pretend not to see your expression and still carry there 2 left legs inside. Ok, i'll just dress up and tell you i'm traveling or i say 'Le boo is visiting abi you wan hold torchlight for us?'...that should do!
Stella thank goodness you said in the country where you are, because in Nigeria, whether you like it or not, it will happen, it's happening and will continue to happen.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to handle it is to discuss with your partner and you both agree what's best, what might work for one family or couple might not work for the other.
That a family member visit unannounced, shouldn't be an opportunity to be rude to them, if both couple agree to have them leave, then his family member either husband/wife will have to tell them politely, and tell them with all respect to call before coming so they'll make provision for their arrival.
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Why will any reasonable person visit another unannounced??
DeleteI don't get it and will never understand it.
How can I just wake up and head for my brother's house without informing him or his wife? Isn't that gross stupidity? What if they are not home, travelled or they are unable to accommodate me eg they have visitors.Even my aged father,you have to call him to confirm he is home before you visit him.
MIL came one day unannounced. I didn't know she was coming. Closed late from work and got home 10:30pm. She then proceeded to start a heated argument that I know she doesn't eat anytime past 6pm. I just said then you should have brought your soup from home, or helped yourself to the fridge. I be witch? How I wan take know say you dey my house? Some people are just there to test your patience truly!!!
DeleteLol
DeleteI have wonderful in-laws and friends that are welcome at anytime, and i would even welcome their surprise visits..i think it depends on the individual and the people around him or her.
ReplyDeleteI concur. It depends...
DeleteDat was in d days when dere was no GSM. Now u call d fellow a few days in advance before showing up.
ReplyDeleteMy little brother in law is always doing this and he will not even come during the day mostly later in the night when I might have finish cooking and most time I have to go back to the kitchen to get food for him but when last he came I complained .
ReplyDeleteCook fire! He will enter the kitchen and prepare something for himself.
DeleteI belong to the last group, fierce protector of my home. Thank God my hubby is more like that. It makes life easy.
ReplyDeleteI hate it with a passion. There is this my lawyer friend that does this to me a lot, simple courtesy of informing the person before coming will go a long way.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to naija ooo,they can visit anyhow esp my cousins.....Na so one visit so teeeeee she begin live with us OK,with zero contribution, mscheeew!!!
ReplyDeleteIts just not proper anywhere, in law or not. You don't just barge in on someone like that, its rude. Even calls at times I ask when its comfortable for you.
ReplyDelete@1st, y visit me unannounced. In a plain English I will tell whosoever not to try it again b/cos I can't do d same....
ReplyDeleteI show up at my friends place unannounced mostly, and if there are not arnd, I chit chat with their family member and leave an hour later....
ReplyDeletePest
DeleteI cannot even risk it in dis Lagos. Not with d high transport fare and stress of long distance with traffic. You have to inform d person and be sure he/she is at home before visiting.
ReplyDeleteSame here jare. Waste of money. I tired it with my former pastor once. He was on pulpit rotation. I blamed myself
DeleteLol. Am used to them cos dh said i should just lwt them be. They visit and adjust to normal routine in my home. Follow every guided rules and regulation in my home. One came last 2 years and thought that he can bring every whore to my home not until one day i made it known to him that i cant tolerate such. You can mess up out side but dnt bring such peeps in my house. I also told him after eating please try amd atleast pack ur plates to the kitchen and not leaving it anyhow at any place The next week he packed his bag and left.
ReplyDeleteIf you start tolerating their shit the next day they will trample on you. Abegie i cant deal.
Am telling you! I had a BIL like that,eats n leaves plates all over the place for slave to pick up.
DeleteHmmm. The rubbish we go through. In a situation like this my hubby calls you quietly to beg you, "please eeh my wife is an older and taller version of actress Martha Ankomah in character and in person, don't even start with her. You won't like her other side. Have you watched Innocent Devil or Soul of a Woman?"...
DeleteSome relations. Story for another day.
Currently under my roof, Chief in law and his care assistant, Mama in law, because he has health challenge.
Then my sister in law berths unannounced with her little son and has refused to go back to Enugu. And not as if I'm strong for now, DH be trying to please me buying sorts.
Hmmm. The rubbish we go through. In a situation like this my hubby calls you quietly to beg you, "please eeh my wife is an older and taller version of actress Martha Ankomah in character and in person, don't even start with her. You won't like her other side. Have you watched Innocent Devil or Soul of a Woman?"...
DeleteSome relations. Story for another day.
Currently under my roof, Chief in law and his care assistant, Mama in law, because he has health challenge.
Then my sister in law berths unannounced with her little son and has refused to go back to Enugu. And not as if I'm strong for now, DH be trying to please me buying sorts.
Lol. Better treat his fuck up because if u ignore it the next might be leaving his foot wears and even his clothes in the parlour. They no say i no be nonsense woman so whenever they come i will just give my son the rules and regulation guiding my home and he will go and hand it over to them including my own blood too.
DeleteSo they go park well and respect them selves
Mine used to do it. Then sometimes they used to come from out of town with 7 kids and expect u to accommodate them without complaints.
DeleteWe in this clime are suffering from hipocricy and greed. Yes because we all and I mean we all have surfaced at someone's house unannounced at one time or the order. It doesn't matter if it was to say hi or to spend days. When later in life we find ourselves at the receiving end of such visits we complain. The way we compare our society with the Western is warped. We have extended family system, they don't have. They don't have because they have social security and one can get small small help from the system. Here we don't have social security and your only source of small small help is family and friends. Rather than whine and cry, both the visitor and the visited should be fair to each other. I repeat anyone who has never visited a friend or family member unannounced before in his life should raise his/her hands to be counted. When ppl are not yet on their feet they don't see it as bad and so do it but once they stand on their feet they see the stress involved.
ReplyDelete~raising my two hands~
DeleteYoungman, I have NEVER visited anyone unannounced. I hate to inconvenience people because I don't like being inconvenienced .
To be fair to other comments, I wouldn't say your comment is the best, but it's my personal best and I love it.
Delete1000 likes for your comment.
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Well said Youngman. Owe you a few bottles.
DeleteSee where senseless follow follow of Oyinbo has gotten us. The very fabric that holds us together, separates & dignifies us, is being torn to shreds.
Many languages in varying degrees have this proverb: People are my clothes...
@youngman, I wish there was a like button on SDK BLOG, I would have just clicked it. Good analysis dear.
DeleteYes young man we all do it but when it's done for more than to say hi then it becomes a serious problem. And when it's done with a sense of entitlement then it becomes an even more serious problem.
DeleteBest comment so far
DeleteSpeak for yourself biko, u have never visited anyone unannounced, like never ever, and I don't intend to. I even call my friends staying over at my house when I'm coming back from a journey.
DeleteBless u! Check d ones who have problem with it. They complain because its their mil or relatives frm husband side that came unnanounced but if it's their own mother or relatives,they don't have problem with it whether they were informed or not. Me,I am a real African woman. I won't send back a relative who came unannounced just because she or he didn't call on phone. Most people here whining don't even live alone.So I wonder how u can send someone back when u live in a family house with ur parents and all.
DeleteI don't have such experience,inlaws and my ppl must call b4 visiting cos they know my kind of person.
ReplyDeleteI don't visit unannounced cos I hate it when people do same.
ReplyDeleteI grew up knowing my parents don't allow it.
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Pack ur load and go the next day no tym....
.
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Evn as a sngle persn I decide wu I open.my door for nt to talk of my family house any unannounced person dt dint inform me wil slp in de cmpnd space xcpt odswse or I ve nid to c u...TOMJERRYSWIT
ReplyDeleteThis is one issue I have with my wife which is the primary source of our quarrels! Her pips show up as if they own my house and it fcuking pisses me off. The worse is her brother who is a cultist and insists on coming to my home with his criminal friends! Some days ago, one just came unannounced and decided to spend the night! If not for the respect I have for my wife I would have seriously insulted the fellow
ReplyDeleteYou better act now before they start molesting your children...
DeleteAre you not the man of the house again?...
Hian...
Oga sit down and tell ur wife those things you dont like. They have every right to tell you before coming cos they are not the owner of the house or better still set out rules and regulation guiding ur home so they cant come and corrupt ur children oo. Na u be the man of the house. Talk to her in a calm manner.
DeleteEyah. Please talk it over again with your wife; make ee no take small small so your home come go break.
DeleteYou are the "Man" & head of your family, set a standard & enforce it.
Perhaps, your wife pays the rent.
DeleteOga,what of ur own peeps? When they come,do u complain? Or u complain only when ur wife peeps come? I can only reason with u on d part that the said brother is a cultist and brings back his gangster friend. In that case,she should talk to him abt it. But remember that people won't stop being family just because u came to their house and married their sister.
DeleteAah...I think that was in d olden days! Who still shows up at someone's place unannounced. That is so ridiculous. Even d person that goes to visit someone unannounced, what if the person travelled or is not at home? The stress of going to someoone's place and not meeting them is not worth it, its always better to call first
ReplyDeleteYaah years back no fast way of communication in naija.
DeleteThey still do...
DeleteDey there...
I don't show up on people's doorsteps unannounced so I don't expect anyone to do that to me. If you do, O.Y.O is your case cos na motor park u go sleep.
ReplyDeleteNo matter the situation, courtesy demands that u at least call or send a message to ur intended host about ur visit. No matter who u are, if u like urself don't just show up at my door step anyhow.. "I comment my reserve"
Hmmmm
DeleteEven u sef wey never chop belleful dey claim to get house too. Mere looking at u sef,u still live at home with ur parents chopping mama thank u. Everybody is claiming one thing one thing on this blog. Even ed dreams too,get house. See una mouth like "my house".
DeleteHahahahaha at this Ebi...
DeleteMr/mrs Ebi, what's the rudeness about?
DeleteWe are not in obodo oyibo where you must call before you come to my house. Though Nigeria is trying to be civilised sha. now they call before coming?
ReplyDeleteThere was one day i wanted to eat correct jellof rice when this my town's man came, i just hide my food under table, the man refused to go oo. hungry catch me no be small, wetin i go do now, i had to bring out the food so that he can eat. It was painful but nothing you can do about it. when i remember it, i just laugh.
Now as a big woman, they call before coming
Hahahahahaha...
DeleteLmao...
Lmao
DeleteI don't know why people do that.personally I find it rude and highly offensive.
ReplyDeleteI have never shown up at any friend/relative house unannounced.I will always call before going.and even after I have called you to say I'm coming over to your place, when I get to the person's gate,I will call to say I'm at your gate.
I cannot imagine dating someone and showing up at his house unannounced and vice versa.
If I'm a guy and a lady shows up at my house unannounced,the relationship is over I swear.and the most annoying thing is,once they get to your house without announcing their arrival,they'd scream SUPRISE!!
Like what the ....????
A friend tried that once with me and the expression on my face was when I opened the door for her,it registered in her head for a long time.
Thing is, I was brought up in a certain conservative way.I have certain principles that are not flexible.
Bottom line, it is not polite to show up at anyone's house unannounced.Thank you.
It's never good when one have rules that are not flexible, it makes life too rigid and boring, variety my dear, is the spice of life. There should be a limit to everything even to rules.
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval.
You sound OCD
DeleteStella this is Nigeria where we have African culture, i know some family members especially in-laws can be a pain but for peace to reign in one's home or family, you need to be tolerant. I don't mind visits from family and friends on wkends, i have people that just stop over after church, they can call me 30mins before we're on our way.
ReplyDeleteIn my family such things are acceptable, we have drinks and things ready for unannounced guest. In fact growing up i stayed almost every wkend in my cousins house or go to my grandmas house. My family like such things. Infact i have some family members that are angry i dont come and check them.
In Jesus name we wld all be there to raise our kids, but just incase smthn happens beleive me it is same family that will take our kids in.
Gbam!!!
DeleteI have not experienced that with my Inlaws or family members because I stay far away from them BUT I have this friend that's stays around and would not tell me she is coming especially when she calls and I am eating, next you hear wetin u dey chop? Once I say nah beans, she will come to my house that very day...wen I noticed I don't say nah beans anymore (lol). Guess she already knows why..
ReplyDeleteHahahaha.... onijewuru friend
Deletehmm
ReplyDeleteI can imagine you doing squats & generally warning up for 1:00pm to arrive, lol!
DeleteOh dear.. i have friends that do it.. but ill never open the gate for them, i always say im not in wen they eventually call me..luckily u can't enter my estate without calling me..infct only i can open it with a secret code on my phone...so yeahh thank God. I really hate people that impose visits on you. #doctorswife#
ReplyDeleteBecause today you 'have', abi? Hmmmm.
DeleteOh pls who needs a pest , I reside in bordillon courts and am glad I don't have to receive unwanted visitors . That alone will make us keep paying d service charge . D gate keeps d pest out
DeleteI am an introvert and I treasure my privacy. If you drop in unannounced, you are on your own. You go knock till your knuckles bleed, at least you can't appear in my living room or bedroom...you have to pass through three gates to achieve that...when aboki and padlock dey. To me, that's the height of illiteracy....dropping in unannounced. Got zero tolerance for that act. The person go really old.
ReplyDeleteIts part of African tradition to visit people unannounced, but for me, if u try it, will meet my padlocked gate
ReplyDeleteMy daddy's family are guilty of this, years ago, wen there was no fone, three pple wil come @ once to visit nd most tyms they alwz come 2wards the end of the month. Even wen there was fone sef that is hw his brother nd 2 of his kidds wil still come to d houz, my mum don complain tire. When we now moved dwn to abj, they couldn't come lyk dt again as they no get our address, my cousin came all d way 4rm benue nd called my dad that he is on his way to Abj to visit, nd he was @ nyanyaa wen he calld sef na so my dad tell am to enta bus to Wuse nd he met my dad @ d office nd my dad gave him tfare back to benue ddt his family is nt around. Since then the guy no call again. Most of dem wil call nd he wil tell dem, I wil let u knw wen to visit. Dt jazz for my papa eye don clear. Besides We ve neva gone on holiday to visit any of our relatives sef.
ReplyDeleteLol, your daddy is strict, this cracked me up.
DeleteMy daddy's family are guilty of this, years ago, wen there was no fone, three pple wil come @ once to visit nd most tyms they alwz come 2wards the end of the month. Even wen there was fone sef that is hw his brother nd 2 of his kidds wil still come to d houz, my mum don complain tire. When we now moved dwn to abj, they couldn't come lyk dt again as they no get our address, my cousin came all d way 4rm benue nd called my dad that he is on his way to Abj to visit, nd he was @ nyanyaa wen he calld sef na so my dad tell am to enta bus to Wuse nd he met my dad @ d office nd my dad gave him tfare back to benue ddt his family is nt around. Since then the guy no call again. Most of dem wil call nd he wil tell dem, I wil let u knw wen to visit. Dt jazz for my papa eye don clear. Besides We ve neva gone on holiday to visit any of our relatives sef.
ReplyDeletePeople do not have d right to just barge into my home, no matter who u are! You must first call me before u drop in for a visit or stay. My friends know they will not be let in unless I have left a message with d guard that u are expected. D few who still carried on like my home was an extension of theirs have learnt d hard way. We all have phones and must use it before we drop in on anyone. Who knows what state of mind i might be at d moment u choose to drop in? Do i have enough food, space, fuel for d generator to make ur stay comfortable? What about my work or social schedules? Do I have to mess my plans up just to be a 'nice' hostess or friend?
ReplyDeleteEven my siblings know they cant drop in unannounced, same as my parents. We love each other to d moon and back but also respect our individual spaces. Friends who always drop by with d excuse of 'I was around ur neighborhood' well, have learnt cos they wont get to see me. My house no be tourist attraction wey people go just dey branch come anyhow. A number of them have commented to common friends about how they were 'gated' at my place, which has made it even easier for me cos, now everyone knows what to do if u need to visit.
Respect urselves biko!
Oh yes! My sis in law came with her 3kids and her bro unannounced and claimed they had a hotel room. Evening came and they just remembered they don't have to go to their hotel room anymore,i called DH and told him nice to pls goan drop them in their so acclaimed hotel room. Dh vex for me that night but I didn't care coz my sis in law is the real definition of troublemaker
ReplyDeleteHa I think say na only me that one happened to? Then they expect u to salve over them. Mine said she was staying elsewhere with her 6 kids. When night reach she no gree go. Na DH vex shout for her head. And it was a 2 bedroom flat self
DeleteIf na ur own sister now,it won't be a problem. I don't know when wives will stop hating people frm d husband's side. Tufiakwa for wicked wives.
DeleteEbi thank you for dis reply. she won't let her go dt said night if d person in question was her sister.... D comments here is all about Mil, bil and sil... Na wa
Delete@ebi even my husband will vex. It's obvious that you do the same thing. How can someone land with their whole family like that? People like you, intentionally cause problems, then turn round to call it hating.
DeleteShutup ebi! Talk wen u av a problematic inLaw! Longesthiss
DeleteHmmmmmm.Nigerians? E dey tire me! The will just land with a huge bag at your gate unannounced as if they have a room in your home.all the way from other states o.my parents had to stop it. And if you talk,you become "bad". What if we travelled or you had a road accident?no body will know your whereabout.
ReplyDeleteThere is a man from my village. He is the first son, married with kids. Many years ago his two youngest brothers visited him unannounced though there were no gsm then. At night he called his two brothers and told them that he and his wife had decided that they would not be welcome again in their house if they didn't first secure permission from them before coming. The young men later left and also resolved never to seek permission. One year, two years they didn't go. When he came home for Christmas, his brothers didn't go to his house to great him except when he comes to the family house. Curious(and having forgotten the incident of two years earlier) reported to their father and after hearing the decision of the boys and why he apologised. My point is that we are stuck with extended family system and so we should device creative means of filling such matters and both parties should be fair to each other
ReplyDeleteYou didn't make any sense
DeleteI don't mind visitors really my only ish with them is when they are uninvited and want to stay forever and still expect to be treated like kings.
ReplyDeleteRight now I am dealing with one lazy inlaw that does not want to do anything in the house. She even plans to remain after NYSC. She hates doing chores and going on errands. Yet she wants to be treated like a princess that she's not.
I know it has to be an in-law. So even if she is helping out,u will still complain. If na ur own sister now,u no go talk. Wives pls stop hating ur in-laws and finding fault. Tufia!
DeleteI absolutely hate it when people show up at my home unannounced. What's wrong with you? Can't you call me first? When people do that, I can't even hide my irritation no matter how hard I try. Sometimes, I leave them in the sitting room and enter my room to read or watch a movie. I can't stand people that don't have sense, i've got zero-tolerance for them.
ReplyDeleteMy family and in-laws know me well by now. We had it hot in the beginning. Now, nobody can just carry his or her bags to come and spend time in my home without calling first. Even when they bypass me and call my husband , he redirects them to me and tells them to call me first.
I can't visit someone without calling them first. When I'm not a pest or a rodent.
I don't know why people take things so seriously. if its some u are happy with, accept with no regret but if its the other way round, treat with silent unwelcomed attitude. ..if it doesn't work, tell the visitor u are traveling for a long period incase u are a house owner but as a tenant, tel him/ her that u want to go n squat with a family friend cos u are having a big issue with ur landlord.
ReplyDeleteWill comment after washing my shirt
ReplyDeleteWaiting till when i get 2 d bridge then i'll crpss it. Over home owners
ReplyDelete*****MhizDerbyViaIG*****
You live on the streets!???
Deleteit depend on the visitor and d number of times they visit will determine my reaction.
ReplyDeleteIt happens mehn. I had this friend of mine back then in secondary school. She shows up to my house unannounced and probably my mum and dad might be the only people around, while maybe my sisters and I went out. So on most of the occassions she came unnanounced. My mum would jes kukuma enta room sleep as the visitor would insist on waiting for me and sisters to come back. Omo not once not twice not even three times have we come back to meet her frying yam or cooking indomie in our kitchen. Mumsy was so shocked the first time as she come ask am to join her eat. It was something funny sha even though its not right for her. Well we didnt see it as a biggie. Shes a good person shaaa.
ReplyDeleteThis is very funny
DeleteLol at "Mumsy come and eat."
DeleteMy family members and friends can visit me unannounced,I have no problem with that at all.I can not tell my siblings,nieces,nephews and trusted friends not to visit me unannounced.They are welcome anytime.I can not even imagine me telling my sisters to always inform me before coming to my house.It is wrong to do that especially to your siblings.In-law can come too.But if u are the type that is always causing trouble,then,my attitude towards u will tell u that u are not welcome.I just want peaceful people around me.
ReplyDeleteU are a real born African! Not all these ones trying to be more westernised than the oyibo man himself. How can I even tell my family to always call me before coming when we are living in d same town? I dey mad? If they come and meet me,fine! If not,fine too! But i cant open this my mouth to instruct my darling mother to always call me before visiting me if she is in my neighbourhood. If she calls fine,but i wont give it as a command or rule neither will i refuse to open the door or send her back.
DeleteStella dat was den such thing happen, everybody din step up, aw will u come to my huse unannounced, u have to call me first before coming. My children will not open d gate for u.
ReplyDeleteLolah
It is common in Africa, we just learn to live with it.
ReplyDeletei just dey look my husband people dem dey come any how without respecting him by calling till i strike.make dem go ask of me for owerie (school) nonsense.
ReplyDeleteAbeggi may we ear word.
DeleteWetin u wan do? U can't do more Dan a dead rat, which is to stink.
Hahaha wetin you wan do sef?
DeleteUr husband people abi? If na ur own people,u wont talk. Tufiakwa for wicked wives! One thing in commom with all u women complaining is that its ur husband people. None of u complained abt ur own sisters and brothers.
DeleteMake them go ask of you? If to say you be anything, we for no need ask, we for know you since! Na all those people see your husband when e be mumu. Now that's he's someone that they've moulded for you, you're claiming territory. Nna abeg I hate braggards and people always spoiling for a fight. You're married, nobody is dragging woith you. Chill out
DeleteGood one Stella. This is one issue that has been bothering me.
ReplyDeleteOk so I spent the early years of my marriage in Europe. I got used to their way of living the few years i lived there and i forgot there was anything like "unannounced " visitor till we returned to Naija 2 years ago.
This stupid attitude of visiting unannounced is what my inlaws and hubby's friends do. I don't have friends in my present location and I am not bothered about it cos I am too old to start making new friends. The old ones are enuff baggage for me and i don't more drama.
Back to the matter: ok I moved into this city and my "aunty inlaw " shows up at my gate unannounced on a Sunday afternoon when I was relaxing and getting set for work the following Monday. The gate man knocks on my door, I saw her through the window and screemed I am not at home! She gets upset and calls hubby who was out to report me. I didn't even answer her. Infact when hubby approached me I said I don't know what he's talking about. Matter closed.
A brother in law who just shows up in the evenings. Any evening he feels like he appears. Me, I just walk into the room and remain there till he leaves. Most recently I was taking a nap in the living room and i hear a knock. Went to peep, I saw him. I just turned off the light in the living room went to call his brother my hubby to attend to him. Rubbish.
Hubby's friend just shows up with his kids on a Sunday afternoon asking hubby if there was food in the house that his wife was on call that afternoon. Hubby came to ask if I could arrange something. I told hubby to go and arrange for his friend cos i am not in for that rascal behaviour. What nonsense! I came out served them drinks and walked away. Didnt even know when they left.pls note I don't even have a house help and my job is tasking.
Dear BV 's am I over doing it?
Another inlaw hater!
DeleteYou are not over doing anything...
DeleteYes you are!
DeleteSome of you are just really unbelievable. Imagine your brother's wife doing that to your mum or aunt. Even your son's wife doing it to you or your sister. How would you feel?
Yes , you are over doing it and are terribly rude. Even if a guest puts you in an awkward position there are more diplomatic ways to handle things. Auntie in law did not need to be treated like that. And you could have ordered take away for hubby's friend and the kids.
DeleteMy dear the fact that you're thinking if you're overdoing it means in fact you're overdoing it. Take a chill pill. Europe nor be Naija. Does your hubby support you when you do these? I'm saying this so you don't lose out in the end. Just calm down. Nobody gets it right at once. Accommodate them the first time and then let them know it's a no no. You can't be an island o. In Nigeria here,its the conmun
DeleteStella you are a God sent. You just treated what happened to me last night, though its been happening since I got married 5 years ago and each time it happens it destabilizes my whole system. I was driving home yesterday night 9pm to be precise and I just got a call from my sister in-law that she and her 2 siblings and mum are in front of my door waiting for us, don't know what happened to me o I just answered her with 'Doing what'? because I was so annoyed and I just faced my hubby and told him to ask them to leave tomorrow morning and I told him am not going to cook for anybody that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. funny enough, they were coming to spent 3 days and you cud not call me plus, they were crowd 4 people and I leave in just 2 bedroom flat with 1 toilet, 2 kids. they have been doing it since and it has been depressing me but yesterday I own up and said NO or I go back to my parents house to allow them enjoy their stay and will come back when they live because I was sick and managing myself to work and was not ready to be a cook for 3 days so I just gave my kids cornflakes and I took tea and bread, watch small TV and go to bed. So they ask me what they could eat and I told them I don't have food at home because I was not expecting visitors and they left this morning and my confidence came back. Sorry for the long Epistle.
ReplyDeleteEhen! Yet another inlaw hater! I am still waiting to read comment where y'all will complain if it were to be ur mum and ur sisters that came unannounced. Wicked wives!
DeleteEbi or whoever you are , take a chill pill bro
DeleteDid you even read the story? ????
4 people in a 2 bedroom flat and she is sick
Hian
Biko this one is too much
Has your in laws been having on you ???
Mozanix, be careful oo!
DeleteU for allow ur hubby handle am.
U might need dem, on ur side tomoro wen ur hubby stat to misbehave.
Ebi what's your own...
DeleteAm sure you are still single...
My mum and siblings cannot come to my house unannounced Odiro possible...
Abeg shut up!in-law hater how,so she should inconvenience herself and kids cuz she loves her in-laws..when u get married ud know how it feels...stupid EBi
DeleteLemme siddon read comments, Stella abeg shift
ReplyDeleteRUBBISH!!!!!!!!! NIGERIANS! YOU PEOPLE ARE TOO FAKE FOR THE WORLD ABEG. ASK YOURSELVES WHO ARE OPENING MOUTH AND TALKING ABOUT ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WHEN DID GSM COME THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE A MEANS OF ANNOUNCING TO YOU BEFORE THEY VISIT. BEFORE THE ADVENT OF GSM WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP AS NIGERIANS EVERYBODY VISITS EVERYBODY WITHOUT ANNOUNCEMENT BIKO. WE ARE AFRICANS, YOU PPLE ARE TRYING SO MUCH TO BE WHITES, IT'S A SHAME! EVERYBODY CLAIMING EUROPEAN, NONSENSE. FAKE ASS NIGERIANS!
ReplyDeleteAre u minding them? Until about 16yrs ago we ve no gsm and so many homes dont even have nitel land line. So i wonder who are the ones who announced before visiting peeps then. See their mouths. Trying to be more catholic than d pope.
DeleteAnon 2:40, I sure say u Neva marry.
DeleteWell I showed up in leboo's house yesterday and he was not at home(mind u i've not been picking his calls for few weeks now)i had to call him and he told me he was just nearby.he was very happy seeing me but mehhhnnn I guest that was a lucky day for me if not he would have send me back home ASAP
ReplyDeleteHehehehe..
DeleteU av ur doubts, but u still need to catch d guy red handed.
What happened to my comment stella?
ReplyDeleteThere is a friend of mine that comes to my house without informing me, I'm looking for a way to tell him to stop it
ReplyDeleteI hate people visiting unannounced..... it provokes me like mad.... and as such I don't do it neither...hohohohoho
ReplyDeletesome will just come and call me when they are at my house gate. it is annoying. the last time , it happened , i had finished cooking and was preparing to put my son to sleep. na so an inlaw came .like 9.45pm. i opened the door and greeted. put his load in the guest room and told him, i want to sleep..he had expected me to do the usual , u know go and start cooking what he will like to eat n blah... buh i was just so pissed because i feel it has bcome his habit .......during d night , i was hearing movement in the kitchen . i purposely didnt go and check wats up.. the nxt morning, when i got to the kitchen, i saw a cup of garri ...i just laughed,guess he came hungry and couldnt sleep cos of hunger... na so i talk say m going for a program and he said he is goin to his friend's sef..lool i sha fried eggs and bread for him which i know he doesnt like those mede mede food , thats wat he calls it.....since that day, he calls oooo before coming..
ReplyDeleteI know it has to be an inlaw! But if na ur brother,u will quickly go and make garri for him. Wicked wife!!
Delete9.45 pm ???,
DeleteEbi go and take a thousand seats please
I am seriously pissed at your comments
If u come unannounced, u'll stay outside o. I no send u. I don't visit anybody unannounced.
ReplyDeleteAll those complaining, if their bf comes unannounced to come and fuck them they wont complain. But if its their mother/father/relative that sent them to school comes unannounced that's when they remember they need their privacy..........
ReplyDeleteNa so! Fucklicants and hypocrites wey full this blog.
DeleteBia, Nigga rest! Wetin. Commenting on every post. Jesus!
DeleteTht was how sislaw came to visit unannounced, cos its ur bros houz, for wat na? Its now my home, my mum cnt even come to my houz unannounced, I wanted to giv her a piece of my mind buh hubby pleaded with me, cos if such shud repeat itself, hmmmm, it won't be funny,since he\she has refused to av common sense of letting d owner of d houz knw abt their comin, I wil speak common sense into dem, Nigerians stop going to pple's houz unannounced...
ReplyDeleteAnother inlaw hater...make una dey see am o! All d complainants just have this problem with their inlaws. Let me just be observing and see even one person that will complain about her own family. Wicked wife!
DeleteThere is did so called friend, of mine DAT will leave her city n travel dwn to my own city,is when she's on a bike or taxi DAT she will call if am @ home.I hate it with PASSION. I don't pick her calls again, again.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends. Let me share a friend's story. She was dating this dude in another city. Each time she visits, she pre-informs him. Somehow she started suspecting her boo maybe cheating on her. On a particular weekend, she packed a few things and journeyed to see le'boo unannounced. She was prepared to stay in a hotel should she meet his absence. On getting to boo's house, another lady opened the door for her. She was dressed in shorts and le'boo tee shirt. Le'boo wasn't home, so she sat and waited. When he got back and met her, shocked wouldn't qualify. The other girl in the house got the gist, got mad and left. My friend too got mad and left. Dude was a player. That was how the relationship packed up.
ReplyDeleteSo, it depends.
Beginning of story: It Depens
DeleteBody of Story: It Depends
End of Story: It Depends
On what exactly?
The post does not say don't visit. The post says don't visit unannounced. It's very simple. Respect the space of others.
ReplyDeleteEbi, is it always the husband that hosts his family and friends when they visit unannounced?, does it not always fall on the wife to do the hosting even when she is pregnant, tired after working all day and just got home late at night, or it's just not a convenient time, or there is no food at home but they want to eat.
ReplyDeleteThe wife can always tell her family and friends exactly as it is, e.g I'm tired I'm not cooking oh cause I've been working all day, I'm tired or not in the mood because of pregnancy, she can even tell her mother, sisters or friends to go into the kitchen to cook but with the husbands people, you can't really give those reasons, they expect the wife to play the perfect hostess because they are around.
Why can't the husband enter the kitchen and cook for his family and friends when they visit unannounced and leave his wife out of it.
That is the major problem when the husbands family and friends visits unannounced.
Do you go into the kitchen to prepare food for your people when they visit you unannounced? and if you do not, why don't you @ ebi. Are they not your people, you should accommodate them when they come. It's got nothing to do with your wife if you have one. A wife is not a slave and she is entitled to privacy, convenience and comfort in her own home.
ReplyDeleteI once showed myself by asking my friends and relations not to ever come to my house without caling me unto big babe wey get house naa. Even when they are already at my gate,i will form not at home.Do u know they took offence and boycotted my house. Even when i took ill,no one came. I almost died of cholera. Some just pitied me and came to see me in hosp after my neighbour rushed me to hosp. If not for my neighbour,i would have died in my house and oozing before someone will discover me. On d hosp bed,i remembered the story of a woman in london who died in her house for about 8yrs or so before she was discovered.Her skeleton was just sitting in her parlour just d way she died.Her tv was still on and her lights and fridge were on and running. In fact,she was discovered by a bugler who came to steal frm her. Now,does it mean this woman has nobody who checked up her for about 8yrs or she was just one of those who wont let people come uninvited?? It was frm d expiry dates on d canned foods in her fridge that it was discovered she died way back. No wonder people complain of loliness and boredom in d diaspora because no one visits anyone.Pls if u are living alone,dont try this shit. Let them come and if u r not there,they go back. U never can tell.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby's Pple r expert @ comin to d ous nd not callin esp my mil whn I confronted her she said it's her son's ous she has a big Ghana must go bag in d visitors room full of clothes my brother inlaw jst moved out aft 3yrs now my sis inlaw has packed her own travelling bag witout my hubby or her telling me she's coming to stay wit us my attitude will drive her away I don tire to talk I go dey fuck hubby I no go won scream so they won't knw we r aving sex I cnt wear all those sexy tins I use to wear coz inlaw no gree me rest
ReplyDeleteMy hubby's Pple r expert @ comin to d ous nd not callin esp my mil whn I confronted her she said it's her son's ous she has a big Ghana must go bag in d visitors room full of clothes my brother inlaw jst moved out aft 3yrs now my sis inlaw has packed her own travelling bag witout my hubby or her telling me she's coming to stay wit us my attitude will drive her away I don tire to talk I go dey fuck hubby I no go won scream so they won't knw we r aving sex I cnt wear all those sexy tins I use to wear coz inlaw no gree me rest
ReplyDeleteMost times its d inlaws dat shows up witot calling my own ehn they r jst a case my mother inlaw will cum on mndy leave on wed nd still cum on Fri to leave on sun,my bro inlaw lived in my ous for 3yrs he dsnt do anytin even to wash his own plates nd sweep his own room even to wash his own toilet na work I did prayer nd fasting on him coz I started avin issues wit hubby coz he felt I was ova doing it na so I carry hubby go him bathroom o my hubby said watttt nd ran out he hadn't washed d bathroom for months he left sha now my sis inlaw don arrive Hmmm wit big travelling bag
ReplyDeleteMost times its d inlaws dat shows up witot calling my own ehn they r jst a case my mother inlaw will cum on mndy leave on wed nd still cum on Fri to leave on sun,my bro inlaw lived in my ous for 3yrs he dsnt do anytin even to wash his own plates nd sweep his own room even to wash his own toilet na work I did prayer nd fasting on him coz I started avin issues wit hubby coz he felt I was ova doing it na so I carry hubby go him bathroom o my hubby said watttt nd ran out he hadn't washed d bathroom for months he left sha now my sis inlaw don arrive Hmmm wit big travelling bag
ReplyDeleteMy daddy ehn...he likes visitors,worse my mummy must cook,he'll be like is there anything in the house uncle so so is around or if he knows mumc is not in the mood,he'd call me and say ,is that rice still remaining.. imagine,e get one annoing friend wey e get,that one comes anytime and won't leave until he has eaten.... E tire me
ReplyDeleteEbi I see how jobless you are. You have result to start answering every one. Na wa. Some people really need jobs on this blog.
ReplyDeleteHumph! I complained about this ish so much in my old blog ehn, that some thought, I am intolerant and what is in food, some asked? I lived in amuwo odofin estate so, anybody that got tired waiting for bus or got stranded or wants a place to rest or drink water, they make a beeline to my flat! There are times I have nothing to offer or very busy doing chores, I have to stop and change my routine! Like I said in my old blog, come visit nah money and work! Some expects you to give them t/f for coming to see you!
ReplyDeleteIf a visitor has become too frequent for my liking, I don't give them a warm welcome and I will go into my bedroom and close the door after entertaining the person. If I no siddon for my house, you for see me? Learn to siddon in your own house! Even the bible says you should withdraw your feet from your neighbour's house, least he gets tired of you coming always.
Hubby knows my intolerance, so he tells me ahead whosoever is coming and he is always impressed at my hosting abilities and refreshments. Living here suits my kind of mindset towards visitors. Who get time for social visit sef, when everybody dey pursue dollar? ahahhaha. We meet mostly at events, and if there is a reason to visit, they call, and we let them know if we are at home or not or what time is okay for them. Same thing we do when we want to visit. I am an introvert, so I seldom go out.
With technology advancement, visiting should be reduced, unlike before, so people that still go to others home to visit in the name of 'I just come visit' are OYO! Off to read comments.
Humph! I complained about this ish so much in my old blog ehn, that some thought, I am intolerant and what is in food, some asked? I lived in amuwo odofin estate so, anybody that got tired waiting for bus or got stranded or wants a place to rest or drink water, they make a beeline to my flat! There are times I have nothing to offer or very busy doing chores, I have to stop and change my routine! Like I said in my old blog, come visit nah money and work! Some expects you to give them t/f for coming to see you!
ReplyDeleteIf a visitor has become too frequent for my liking, I don't give them a warm welcome and I will go into my bedroom and close the door after entertaining the person. If I no siddon for my house, you for see me? Learn to siddon in your own house! Even the bible says you should withdraw your feet from your neighbour's house, least he gets tired of you coming always.
Hubby knows my intolerance, so he tells me ahead whosoever is coming and he is always impressed at my hosting abilities and refreshments. Living here suits my kind of mindset towards visitors. Who get time for social visit sef, when everybody dey pursue dollar? ahahhaha. We meet mostly at events, and if there is a reason to visit, they call, and we let them know if we are at home or not or what time is okay for them. Same thing we do when we want to visit. I am an introvert, so I seldom go out.
With technology advancement, visiting should be reduced, unlike before, so people that still go to others home to visit in the name of 'I just come visit' are OYO! Off to read comments.
Who is this Ebi that keeps talking rubbish. Am sure you are not married that is why. For your information, they do not necessarily hate their inlaws but it is only proper not to show up unannounced and over stay. If it's their siblings, they will definitely call. Pls be realistic Ebi.
ReplyDeleteSometimes as a woman you just come back from work tired and have finished preparing your family's meal and even retiring to bed for the next day then someone shows up just like that, how will you feel?
Who is this Ebi that keeps talking rubbish. Am sure you are not married that is why. For your information, they do not necessarily hate their inlaws but it is only proper not to show up unannounced and over stay. If it's their siblings, they will definitely call. Pls be realistic Ebi.
ReplyDeleteSometimes as a woman you just come back from work tired and have finished preparing your family's meal and even retiring to bed for the next day then someone shows up just like that, how will you feel?
Who is this Ebi that keeps talking rubbish. Am sure you are not married that is why. For your information, they do not necessarily hate their inlaws but it is only proper not to show up unannounced and over stay. If it's their siblings, they will definitely call. Pls be realistic Ebi.
ReplyDeleteSometimes as a woman you just come back from work tired and have finished preparing your family's meal and even retiring to bed for the next day then someone shows up just like that, how will you feel?
Reading comments, made me realized that some are getting it wrong and turning to blame wives. You see, it is the person that wears the shoes that knows where it really pinches. Some guests can be a pain in the butt! Some will tell you the type of food they want to eat after preparing dinner! I am speaking from experience. Every family upbringing differs and each family differs! In some homes, everybody face their life and visit once a while. Such people fits the parable of 'You don't see a frog hopping about in the daytime except something is pursuing it or it is chasing something! These are AUGUST VISITORS! They are highly welcomed.
ReplyDeleteBefore the coming of GSM, people visited to pass an important message or check on the welfare of their loved ones. They stay 2-3 days max and leave. Before GSM there was LETTER WRITING! My parents corresponded a lot with letters. There were telephones in some homes and all offices that you can go to NITEL or phone booth to call! There should be a REASON for visiting! And not see that person's home as your relaxation center to be pampered! Or when you are bored in your own house and need a change of scenery, you carry your legs to come another person's home! Is it a recreational center? Adding more stress to their daily routine! Bringing your girlfriends to sleep in your brother's matrimonial home! WHERE IS THE RESPECT??? Is her home your brothel???
This is different from close friends who visit on each other unannounced! Like your bestie or bf. The visiting is fun because you can be yourself! If nothing at home, the friend will understand. The friend can help you with chores and cooking sef! Just as your own siblings! In some cultures, the husband relatives are not expected to left a finger to help with anything in the house! And you expect a wife to be happy taking care of children, husband and un announced guests? For crying out loud, we are made of flesh and blood and get stressed out!
Some men are not happy with too much visiting but they are good at hiding their emotions and can afford to stay outside very long and simply come in at night to eat and sleep and leave again early morning without actually helping the poor stressed wife with anything!
The only constant thing is change itself! With some much child molestation going on, parents need to be stricter than before! With the harsh economy, fending for an extra mouth can pepper body!Sometimes, the man will say he does not have enough money or he is broke! The onus will now fall on the wife! Who will be happy with that? If it is the wife's guest, she can meet them and say no money or nothing at home and they will give her or say no problem, they would manage whatever she has. Try that with your husband's guests...your mata go reach village square! I have heard too much complaints about wives from husband's relatives who expects to be treated as if they are paying customers in a 5 star hotel!
The truth is that many guests have these entitlement feeling! Regardless of your mood or financial status. Another truth again is that, FAMILARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT! Was it not here I read a widow was shot because of the compensation money gotten from her husband's death in a plane crash? Who are the prime suspects? Was it not here I read that a guest stole a friend's car he bought for another person and now he is in debt? People are not smiling anymore because of the harsh reality of survival! And greed! Since the bird has learnt to fly without perching, the hunter has learnt to shoot without aiming! At the end of the day, some of these guests will end up saying nothing good about their hosts when they don't get what they want! THE TIDE IS SIMPLY CHANGING.
I hope with these 'few' words I am able to explain why many wives are complaining :D Thank you.
See them! If una want,make una cry blood. U will know d wicked wives frm their comments. Thats was how one stupid woman came to a group on fb to complain that her mil who is helping her take care of her own baby always request for 3 square meals whereas,she and her husband eat twice a day. What is d reason? Is it money issues? No! Just that body dey pepper am to see d woman eating 3times. If una want cuss me frm now to tomorrow,i know that u wont ever treat ur own blood that way. So,make una repent before the wrath of God descend on u guys. Mtchewwww!!!
ReplyDelete