Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narratives...

OMG...This is serious!

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

MARRYING A BUSY PERSON

Hello Stella, please I'd like you to post this in the chronicle section as I need your advice and that of my fellow bvs. This is my first time of sending in a chronicle.

I always know when its time to walk out of a relationship but my present one is kind of putting me in a tight corner. I'm just 23 and I am not really ready to settle down as I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents made but then I look forward to having a happy home, being a mother and a wife.

I don't stay in relationships that I don't get love and care. 

My present bf is a very busy person and he keeps in touch. He calls me everyday, sometimes once or twice. My problem however is that he never compliments me. He has never said he loves me and hardly says he misses me. I have dated people that have really shown me love and still screwed that's why I'm a bit confused about this one. I met him in August and in september he had already started planning to leave his room self contain for a bigger apartment which he has gotten and is already working on because he has plans to settle down. 

I am beautiful and I have nice curves and butt. He even said he thought I was putting on butt pad when we met so I assumed it was actually my beauty that attracted him to me. Although, I find it hard to deal with the fact that he doesn't compliment me, I see it as a normal thing in a relationship. 

The only things I get to hear are 'watch your weight', 'nothing must happen to your flat stomach'. He has never said he loves me though he starts his text messages with 'my love' and the kind of response I get whenever I tell him I miss him is really not encouraging and I have already stopped saying it.

Does having a busy schedule stop a man from being romantic? Is it okay to settle down with such a person???

Mature advices please!

Hmmmm!...I cannot deal with someone like this oh.I am a hopeless romantic.I will just waka cos it can be frustrating.you are the only one that can make this decision.some marriages are loveless but survive....

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

WHEN BAE HAS BEEN AROUND THE WORLD AND AYAYAAAAAA....

Stellz of life,

My girlfriend of 6 weeks is the best thing that has happened to me. Before agreeing to the relationship, she’s been my best friend in the last one year. I love her to the moon and back. But it is unfortunate that she has an ugly past. She was completely raised in Aba while I was raised in Lagos. NYSC and then job brought her to Lagos. In church, she doubles as a chorister and an usher. 

The best kind of girl you can ask for. Except that, my eldest brother has slept with her before.

In 2009, when my brother was posted to Abia for NYSC, the whole family was happy that he was posted to a place where we have relatives. After the orientation camp, he was posted to an all girls’ secondary school. Although, he didn’t tell me this but being a cassanova that he is, I knew he can’t stand a week without sex and a month without having sex with a new girl entirely.

 Like he changes them every month. Now, imagine someone like that teaching in a boarding school for girls. So, he met my present girlfriend there and slept with her. She was 18 then and an SS3 student. In fact, he was the first guy that slept with her. He later passed her to another corps member, who is now a family friend because of his closeness to my brother. 

Although, she was an adult. I can’t blame her. She was completely innocent. I met her family two weeks ago and they received me well. Now, she came to our house and everything shattered. This is a lady I laboured to get. It took me almost a whole year to prove to her that I’m going to stand by her and that I love her for real. Immediately, she saw my brother, she started crying and said everything right there. My mother has met her earlier and approved the relationship because my mother is from Abiriba and thinks this girl would make a good wife.

 Now, my brother is the one that is now saying that I can’t marry her. He’s so headstrong. My parents especially my mother is trying to reason along. My father has met her family on that issue and her parents are a bit bothered it might cause a scandal in the future. 

My elder sister who is the only sibling I have besides my playboy brother is doing everything to resolve the issue too. My brother’s friend and our family friend has apologized to me even though I wasn’t dating her then. He said it was as if they lured an innocent teenager into having sex with them based on falsehood. In fact, he was so remorseful. But not my brother. 

All he has been saying is that the relationship and by extension, the marriage must not hold. He’s 32 and has nobody in his life except runs girls. Please, don’t curse him as we are still praying to Jesus to intervene in his situation.

I mean my babe was never a bad girl and even if she was, she’s a changed person. The problem her family pointed out is our society. People poke into other people’s business in this part of the world and that can make our wedding scandalous. 

Her family is very educated and understanding just like my own family but everybody including her and I are afraid of what people would say. I don’t know what to do. I need help.  Once again, all I need is advice. No curses, please.

Hmmm this is really serious and even if the water settles now,this issue will come up again and what if something she does along the line makes you change your mind and agree with your brother?

I know we will in a world that is fast changing but this is really messy and i would advise you to look for someone else cos this might tear your family apart.

How would you feel knowing your brother and your wife cannot be friends and if they do become close friends your minf frame might begin to suspect them..i MIGHT BE WRONG but these are part of the problems that might spring up.

Put off the marriage for now .