NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
17 AND ADDICTED TO SEX
hello Stella i totally love your blog i will remain anonymous ..i dont
know where this will feature but i need help....I AM ADDICTED TO SEX, i
cant do without it .
I am just 17 and i have prayed,fasted,gone for deliverance,sought for help but i just dont know what to do .if i am not in any relationship my fingers just end up down there .i have bought different dildos and toys.i am just soo confused.
I am just 17 and i have prayed,fasted,gone for deliverance,sought for help but i just dont know what to do .if i am not in any relationship my fingers just end up down there .i have bought different dildos and toys.i am just soo confused.
It all started about a year ago with my then boyfriend ..we used to
have sex like 3 times a week and it gradually became an everyday thing
and i am so confused and i dont even know what to do now.I would need some advise from blog visitors.
...............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CONFUSION AFTER LE BOO PUTS A RING ON IT...
Hello Mrs Korkus,
My story is very long, but I'm going to try to cut it short..
I've been in a relationship for 4 years and I've been engaged for about 2years ( that's 6years all together) immediately after I got the ring, we had our introduction as bae had to go back to base in Europe, he just relocated there at that time.
According to him the only way I can join him is through a study visa,( and he will bear all the expenses) which we tried and didn't work, he actually did spend a lot to try to make it work.
Now as we were about to give it a shot again, he's been saying the tuition isn't complete (ts over Two million Naira), and he asked me to ask my family for a loan to balance up the fees.
My main problem is my man doesn't talk so much, he's always been that way, he's sort of secretive so I don't even know how much he has and how much is even needed to complete the tuition, and my fear is even if my family drop the loan how would I survive when I eventually get there as I'll be studying and can't work so much.
Then the situation has made me think deeply, and I remember when I was out of the country some years back on a short vacation which was his entire idea(expenses n all) yes he paid for the visa and ticket, but then he left me stranded with no money just a day before I left, thank God I had some savings at hand, so I was able to take care of myself during the trip. Who leaves his woman stranded at such a dire moment, and he knew I didn't have a stable job then, I cried and pleaded that I didn't have money though I did, but he didn't listen, he never really apologised but I forgave him regardless. He felt he did no wrong, and said I should have asked my family for funds, when all the while he acted like he was going to sponsor it the whole way.
The koko now is I've made up my mind that if I still have to join him I'll work here and save up my own money, as I can't leave this country and go faraway to suffer, because as sweet as he is he can be equally mean and decide not to give me money when I'm there and all.
I'm really confused because there are so many projects and professional exams I'm supposed to take and I keep stalling because I want to go join Mr Boo and wouldn't want to do things half way.
My family members and his are worried as they all want me to join him asap, I've told them ( my family) the no complete tuition story but they don't know what to make of it yet..
He hasn't said anything about it to me (asper what next since no money) in over three weeks and I've kept mum too, when we used to talk about it , he's like if "he had known we wouldn't have done our introduction then" sounds to me like he regrets doing it and I didn't force or cajole him, it was all his idea..
A part of me wants to move on, though its hard but I'm not sure I want to settle down with someone who can't confide in me and tell me stuff, and leave me hanging when I need him. I thought he would change but now I know better.
Right now, I'm not scared to start afresh, people will talk and laugh at me, but happiness is key.
Starting afresh is really hard, but there's nothing like being married to your best friend, one that can tell you almost everything and you both profer solution(s).
He hasn't come home from Europe since after the intro (2years ago), he's set to come home at the end of the year, I'm not sure I love him as much as I used to.
Did I mention that we have communication issues?
He hardly calls, so so bbm chat, and there when I ask questions all I get is, fine, just there, okay, not bad.
I know he loves me, but he kinda has a bad attitude and he's this way with his family members too.
I know my story is distorted but please wonderful BV's help out as I'm one helluva confused young lady.
There are so many other stuff I can't type because I'll take up so much space, but from this little piece, please do advice me, Mrs Korkus please don't hide your red ink on my matter, please you can ask me questions I'll answer.
Thanks
Please hide my identity. God Bless you for this amazing platform.
I dont understand one thing...if there are already signs before the Marriage why not walk?why are you waiting for someone to tell you to?you sound like you are in a very bad relationship that graduated into an engagement and now is the time to really think if it is what you want...Nobody can change anybody who doesnt want to be changed.
Marriage is a different ball game,if there are cracks in the relationship,it will most definitely progress into deep holes in marriage.
Look at your cracks and if you dont have a solution that will fix it for good then buy shoes from in house news and walk!
Women should stop depending totally on men for finances,It is so wrong!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteStella,biko remove this comment...
DeleteOff topic: I want to buy a tanker, how can I use it to make money? Please advice me
DeleteWhy not go post dis on her blog?
Deletena wa oooo
DeleteYou have another suitor talking to you... That's the long and short of your many rantings.
DeleteNobody can change anybody who doesnt want to be changed.
DeleteThat's just it Stelz.....
That's it.
@poster1 : 17 and addicted to sex?
DeleteYou are posses n only God's grace will save you.
@poster2 : if you are 29yrs and above, manage him but anything less than that, start claiming single.
And if you will put up with him, then u have to be ready to work.
There is no perfect man out there,although I won't encourage anyone 2 hang on to a loveless marriage /relationship.
You are scared of starting all over because of your age!!
@poster1.. Jesus is the answer, always is the answer my dear. ur suffering from a disorder known as Hypersexual otherwise called Nymphomaniac.. its a mental condition.. but most often we approach/ address it the wrong way.. a misnomer sexual dependence that could also be termed satyriasis or so..well in a nutshell it's a mental issues and such should be addressed in a rehabilitation centre by a qualified sexologist/psychologist.. its a really challenging matter.. but u will be fine.. but remember, Jesus is still the answer...
Delete@poster2..first off.. why do i have this overpowering feeling that there's this other new guy..who seem to be ur champion now, u cannot deny there's a new suitor who's giving u green light of seriousness.. u probably have compared and contrasted between ur Le Boo before and the one swelling ur head now.. and then arrived at a conclusion that the latter is more stable, accessible and of course probably richer.. yes that's how i see this whole story of yours.. well.. choose what u know is best for u.. make una stop to dey worry us with shady chronicles
Poster1:Jesus will fix you...
DeletePoster 2:pray to God to open your mind,heart and brain to know what is good for you......dat UnitedBabe
Poster 2 : the picture is clear enough for you to see that your so called man is not into you anymore.. move on and start a new life
DeletePortable viv, are you high on coke? she should manage him if she is 29 and above? Your stupidity knows no bound...So your happiness and peace of mind should be decided by your age? I pity your shallow mind, and I await your chronicle soon, if you haven't sent one already.
DeletePoster 2, if you have doubts, you should let it go. You cannot survive on any one abroad. Take it from someone who has been there. I did my post grad in the states, and trust me if I tell you no one gave me as little as 20usd out here. You do not want to try it, except your boo has paid the money upfront to your school. if he has paid 60%, you can work in school and make up the rest of it. If he hasn't paid to your school, and you go ahead with it, you'll wish you never started the journey for school. Think about it deeply. And as for marriage, you want to be married to your friend, your gossip mate, the one who can stand you in your hours of craziness, one who tells and shares everything or 90% of things with you, one wit whI'm you cannor stay mad at for too long. Yes, some men are quiet, extremely quiet, but never with their spouse. In all this, know that you have the final decision to make, and you are the only one who'll go through the journey, and nobody else. All the best in your decision.
Poster 2..he paid for visa and ticket..babe he over tried. U should be able to take care of d little expenses naa. How can u be over dependent on a man. U be gold digger? He offered to pay a part of ur skool fees and u r complaining. .u r just greedy and and u feel entitled. He is not even ur husband yet and u r dis entitled. Wen i joined my fiance in europe, my parents paid for everything down to house rent and upkeep. Who says u can't work? When u have 20hrs a week work slot unless u r a lazy girl. Or u love him for money? Na wa o. Someone is offering to pay part n u dey here dey complain. ..mstchww. dey there. U think such men r easy to come by. U can dump him let a better girl marry him. Mstchhhhhwwww
DeleteWill read comments.
ReplyDeleteHappy sunday peepz.
*******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Poster 2 move on the guy is a good guy but you're a burden to him and he doesn't want to take over your family problem. It's like your family want a rich man to marry you and solve their problem. Meanwhile he's hustling and looking for a PARTNER to share the love and RESPONSIBILITIES.
Deleteit's like when I married my love, I dropped 4.5 m for the wedding. Her mom dropped like .5 m and her dad dropped her hand in marriage.
Now I'm the one hustling for majority of the bills. Thank God I have a fledgling business. But I won't give her freeloader father my time but I will eventually find a nice le side chic to spoil small small.
I'm planning a Mercedes for the wife, le side can get a Honda when she's like 21. I like this poster 1 as a side dish o
I hope your head game is proper
When I see ONE SINGLE sign in q relationship that I can't tolerate, I complain and point it out. If I have to complain up to three times and the person still doesn't get it, I pack up. I can't shout.
DeleteWhen he comes in December tell him how you feel. Have you discussed all these concerns with him? Tell him how you feel and the things that are making you feel this relationship won't work. And hear what he has to say. If he can't 'get' you communication-wise then don't kill your self my dear. He can always retrieve his money from the school Na. As long as you wee denied a student visa, they will refund you.
Anon 15:52 you're very stupid though. I hate insulting people but I just had to insult you. How dare u make such a comment about poster 1? This is someone that needs help and you're considering her as a side chick asking if her head game is strong. Thuder fire u wherever you are. Fuckin perv. I pity ur wife. Uselessness personified.
DeleteFeisty Bunny.
Poster is the dudes name eric and he stays in UK...plz contact me
DeleteSMH poster 1 what do you want us to do now. You have to consciously make efforts to stop. Stop meeting your boyfriend or any man in private at least he won't have sex with you in public.
ReplyDeletePrayer can only work for a while and it won't if you don't truly decide to stop fornicating. Its not easy to give it up but you just have to force yourself, you alone cane change it no one can help you unless you want Us to tell you to sew your hole.
Poster 2 marriage is not by force what kind of relationship is that? Nothing like marrying your friend and someone you can talk to about anything. All the best!
U don't sound happy at all. They need advice n not ur bitterness. Try n be nice next tym.
DeleteShut up anonymous she doesn't sound bitter!! It's u dt needs honey bcos u r d bitter one!!
DeletePoster 1. You are addicted to sex because you have a wrong spirit dwelling inside of you. I meet youths with similar problems and try to counsel them. The first step to your freedom is choosing to live for God. He alone can help you. I have e-books and messages that will help and I am more than willing to share them with you ( if interested, u may tell Madam Stella and I ll send them to you through her)
DeletePoster 1- tie your too legs tightly and no, do not pretend to be a mermaid, actually become one before sex puts you in trouble.
ReplyDelete#nymphoalert
Poster 2- follow your instinct.
P1, your libido is raging but u can control it , your mind is usually targeted towards sex when u are alone, hence the touching. Baby girl , get busy, read books, run errands, it's idleness that's making u do all this, u have too much time on ur hands, be productive with it rather than turning yourself to a sex item. You'd be fine dear.
DeleteP2, don't marry that guy, u go suffer ehn.
@Poster 1, honestly you need prayer, counselling, determination and discipline to overcome this situation. Infact, you're too free for your age.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, if you don't know what the future hold and no finances, please stay back and continue with your life here, it's not easy over there, unless if your student visa will allow you to work.
*Larry was here*
Poster 1 u nid to talk to a psychologist o
ReplyDeletePoster 2, what kind of visa does ur man have that he can't invite you over? Y not visit him on a visiting visa for two weeks to stay with him cos it's two years Nd lots of things can happen in that space, the decision is still yours
Deletehmm... 17 and already a sex addict! If I hear say ur body count no reach 30 before ur 25th bday, you need a sum1 to help u thru ur struggle, u started too early, ure one o those that technology ruined and stole away ur innocent childhood, all thnkx to porn online that's one click away... You need like a roomie that'd always know ur in and out and doings, even the bathrum door shld b open whl u bath, cus na ther the temptation plenty sef, wen ure slippery.... So dats wat u need, u cnt do it alone.... And try no to fuck this roomie oh, cus ur type de turn BI also, u make do with the available.
ReplyDeleteRookie won't work cos baby girl would go out for more that's if rookie sef doesn't make advances on her.
DeleteRoomie*
Deletehmmm@17 years old sex addict!
ReplyDeletecos at 17, my life was never d same, so i understand, the only thing you need now is determination and the Holy Spirit.... when you are determined and d holy spirit sets in, all dos fuck fuck will look dirty to you!
Lol@your id
DeleteMadam ur wants plenty oooo.ah ahn,I raise yansh for ur tittle
DeleteLMAO
DeleteOkay o
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteYou need to get busy and stop thinking about sex all the time...
Hope you are in school...combine your education with a job and see how all those thoughts will leave you...
Poster 2,
You really have to move on...you guys have grown out of love...
Dude is displaying all his characters now believe you me that if you end up getting married to him,you will hear nwii...
I wonder what you were doing with him since he dosent bring money...
Mtcheeeeww...
Abeg leave him joor...you are lucky you don't have a baby for him...that would have been worse....
I like Ur advice to poster 1! If we all advice her to stay away from men she will still use her hand! so @poster please get busy with something. "Idle mind is d devil workshop " get busy!
DeleteU r right
DeleteFor once in ur life u don make sense
DeleteStella always talk abt walking as if its dat easy
ReplyDeleteSo you prefer to spend years in a bad relationship then get kicked out instead of walking wit whatever dignity you have left. Don't be desperate abeg what is yours you won’t need to struggle for
DeleteI don't think Stella knows how painful it is to take a walk after many years together,ive been dere and I know how it feels...
DeleteRegardless, you still have to take a walk. Y wud u stay in a rship where you're obviously maltreated, take a walk pls.
DeletePoster two is looking for osho free, he is not your father and under no obligations to be your atm machine, let your family who are supposed to be responsible for you handle the expenses.
ReplyDeleteA man is not an atm abeg. You said he spent a lot trying to get you over already and it didn't work yet you want him to still cough out all the money for your tution abegiiii
So you prefer to spend years in a bad relationship then get kicked out instead of walking wit whatever dignity you have left. Don't be desperate abeg what is yours you won’t need to struggle for
DeleteThank you very much for this Comment . The man is trying u too add the remaining
DeleteThunder kill you there
DeleteIt's better to read properly b4 commenting.. she wasn't asking for money for food.. The guy prompted every move to spend.
DeleteHe's not an atm, but he wants to marry, marrying her means taking up all her responsibilities. To be a married man no be beans
DeleteIts a lie oh marriage doesn't mean taking over all a woman's responsibilities that is why women will go and be staying with stupid men because of this mentality. Every adult male or female can take care of themselves abeg stop leaching on any man.
DeleteI read it properly he is asking her and her family to also contribute to her tuition fees. Why should she travel without money?
When you are not a helpless baby why should a man take up ALL your responsibility. Ah ah for what now. Please stop all this kind of mindset.
DeleteWell he hasn't married her. And he's trying. The poster wants him to bear all the expenses. Is he her father? Can't she support too even if the guy should say he'd cover everything. I'm equally engaged, boo covers most of my costs but there are things that I cover aswell. Buying groceries into his house that's team work. He makes hell of a money, but no man wants to marry a liability.
DeleteI think she's tired of the relationship because all she stated isn't enough for all of you to tell her to take a walk. Poster, better yourself career wise too. Marriage shouldn't be what should deter you right now, and maybe distance is already taking a toll on your relationship. Please have a heart to heart with him first, when you see and take it from there... That's if there's no one in the shadow psyking you already
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteI dnt blame u itz idleness dat is your problem
U r jst 17yrs old for God's sake!!!!
No b ur mate b malala or sorry shez a yr ur senior bt at ur age she was doing things to help her country n u r here talking abt bin addicted to sex.
When someone says premarital sex is wrong bvs will chew dem raw instead of calling a spade a spade.
I knw itz ur life bt I would advice u to find things.. productive things to do to keep u busy because itz idleness n d devil likes an idle mind.
Poster 1 is normal to be sexually addicted at ur age, is part of growing up but u have to try and control urself...poster 2 ur write up is confusing but from what I get u urself u want out of the relationship plus u r not happy and also how can u be with a man dat can leave u stranded? Please I bed leave him jor u will soon find another man who will cherish u and love u and take good care of u.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your advise to Poster 1. She feels she's addicted to sex because of her age i.e young blood and all. It's a new experience for her, she's young and has a lot of youthful energy but her sex drive will eventually mellow down with age. When much older, she may still like sex but she won't be having it as frequently as she does now. Same reason why some men prefer 16 to 18 year old girls. Sad but true.
DeletePoster 1, focus more on your education and if possible to get a job on the side do so. You need to be busy. I'll suggest abstinence but if you feel like it's not gonna work for you, do use a latex condom and be monogamous. Pray seriously about it too and I pray God will provide better avenues that you can channel your energy into.
In what world is sexual addiction at any age normal?
DeleteSurely not this one
Chronicles of sex and dependence. Jesus fix them and give them ur wisdom in jesus name Amen
ReplyDeleteP1-jesus will fix you, keep praying.
ReplyDeleteP2- Hmmmm
P1, you need to get your mind off it and look for something to do. If you are busy you won't think of sex. P2, your story is so complicated don't know what to say
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteOMG! 17 and u are already an ashana.
U 've to hear from former sex addicts about how they overcame their demon.
Poster 2,pray about it.
Poster 1: to start with go throw all those dildos away n make sure you don't stay alone. Keep praying and attending church services and listen to word of God often, he will surely deliver you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: stop communicating with him and see if he will care then you can pick up from dir, he is a superglued man, and you will suffer if you find yourself with him without a good job. Peace!!!
2.
ReplyDeleteThese are the kind of things SLS was talking about. How will ur family be supporting u going 2 be with him when u guys arnt married? We have lost it big time.
Poster 1,hmmmmm....sex addiction is hard to beat.very hard to beat.
ReplyDeleteI cant say No to sex no matter where and how.lolz.inukwa can't say no.wen I am almost always thinking of it....*heavy sigh"
I am trying to see if dere are things I have done to kinda tone down mine a bit but dere is really nothing cos i am like after all,ayam married.
getting a vibrator was a bad mistake.it worsens it.
That "wayo" toy leaves one satiated,yes.but wanting more...chai.
Prayers! Yea Prayers can do the Magic.just like always. U said u have prayed and fasted and done all dat.
Now listen,do the Prayers again but this time around,throw away all d vibrators and sex toys.
U Bookmarked xhamster on ur phone. Now remove it dear.
Erotic movie and all dese songs,a no no.
Make ur tots pure. And tell urself u can do this.
I know how u feel.don't beat urself up about it.if u fall,get up and keep trying it.til gradually before u know it,it becomes a thing of d past.
When d urge comes, try putting plaster on ur fingers.it might help too.
Sending u warm hugs.
Poster 2,ur story left me very confused.so got nothing to say.wish u luck though.
Stupid advice.why do you have to mention the name of a site when advicing someone to desist.its not always about your story telling sometimes face the problem and hapu stories.
DeleteBut wait oo...are you directing poster to xhamster? Because she did not mention it o.
DeletePoster one
DeleteHeed to this advice
She has experience in it.
Happy Sunday dearie
Lemme lick ur ass a lil
Poster 2
Follow ur heart
It is ur life!
If you feel like walking away, plz do
Wish u all the best
Wow!!! Even you????? *
DeleteYou know you have led me to 2 porn sites right? Continuu.
DeleteAnony 17:01,who? Me??
DeleteHahhahahahahahaha
Curiousity led me to open the website oooo.
DeleteOkay, I just visited xhamster and you think it's funny
DeleteI had to go back to read poster one narrative again.
DeleteMadam, this is not an advice but an encouragement for her. Why drop a porn site?
This is what that writer on majek fashek was talking about.
Someone is trying to overcome an addiction and you carry you carry the thing that can make it worse they dash her.
Na wa for you o.
@ 17?? OMG...
ReplyDeleteP2... You already know what to do.. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
Poster 1: Really empathize with you. I once had that problem though I am older than you. These were the things I did;
ReplyDelete1. I surrendered my life to Christ
2. came off from alcohol and refined sugar; these are all addictive (google it especially the second)
3. I learnt to fast; in fact, I no longer eat in the mornings after I participated in THAT LADY IGO's fast. I got used to it and I am more beautiful and slimmer for it.
4. I fill my mind with the word of God everyday; I read at least a chapter of the New Testament. I have completed it twice since that fast.
I will paste here what I learnt from lady Igo:
I know a lady who had irresistible sexual urge. She confided that hers started with her first sex . . . she just got addicted to it like cocaine. This girl was a virgin until she was 24; a decent girl who wanted a career as a pilot . . . and due to peer pressure, she accepted to date a guy who because he was a pilot used the girls prospective career as a bait to lure her into a distracting relationship; distracting because he never intended marriage just play. But baby girl understood it as marriage in progress. She put a "no sex banner" etc. and the guy agreed . . . due to peer pressure again, she succumbed to alcohol (do pilots get drunk?); it was at a party and all her girlfriends were doing it and she did. She was just borderline drunk just as the pilot boyfriend. She entered the pilots car for a drive home and was the one unfastening his his pants' zipper. She was on top of the situation for hours and that was it. By morning; from her own words "I just could not stay a day without sex . . . many times, I used every object I could find to pound myself but the need for a man was so overpowering . . " When she sought help, the minister quoted just one scripture . . . a person is a slave to whatever has mastered him/her. second Peter two vs. nineteen. She told her that she needed another master and . . . led her to Christ. Then the desire left instantly. Subsequently, she had to learn to fast and fill her mind with the word of God. she learnt fruit fast and normal fasts etc. And apart from being in control of her own mind, she lost the excess fat on her abdomen which she had for long yearned for.
"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest".
Experience and scripture wise, I've found out that in sex, there is a transfer of spirit involved; once sex is done outside of marriage, manipulation is the rule. . . .
lady igo come out of youe anonymous na, e never do?
Delete@ anon are u Lady I go.
DeleteJust asking..
Wonderful advice! I miss Lady Igo.
Delete@ narrative 1--- keep praying,fasting and believing you can change for good. Also, make good friends to advice and distract you positively.
ReplyDelete@ narrative 2--- you don't understand this guy, you guys don't communicate that much, you don't seem to love him as before and you're not financially stable. Thing is if yhu got someone else you prefer, its best you leave la boo.
Poster one.
ReplyDeleteAv u hed of the local balm called Aboniki?
Just rub it on ur privates early in the morning, believe me d last tin dat wld be on ur mind tru out d day wld be sex.
On a more serious note, get smthg doing.
An idle mind is d devils workshop.
U av too much time in ur hands.
Poster 2.
Don't understand d attraction BTW Nigerian women n abroad husband.
U agree to marry a man wu u knew had plans to travel.
D guy go canopy u here for naija, com go abroad dey live d life of a single man.
Igbo gals sha.
Any way, na d gaari u dey drink so.
If u can't afford to takia of ursef by ursef madam stay back in naija, n continue ur hustle here.
Cos if water pass gaari, I won't blame d man if e takes care of himself first bfor taking care of ur needs.
Can u imagine? Na him invite u, com abandon u for foreign land, wat if u didn't av savings nko? Anyway deport dey.
LMAO @aboliki
DeletePink she'll thank you. Who abandons a chic you invited. Very mean man.
DeleteSmall girl, where do you get the money you use in buying dildos? You young slut!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you are just talking from both sides of your mouth. "There's nothing like being married to your best friend, one you can almost tell anything"
But you said he's secretive and doesn't talk much. You people are confused.
Babe your guy sound exactly like a guy I know! Damn P I pity who will eventually end up with you sha. U go use coldness finish am.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- So true you need help, can recommend *Praise Fowowe* he's a pro in issues like this. You can contact him on FB or twitter.
ReplyDeletePoster 2--- You sound so nice and real, why do you want to rope urself with some1 you are not sure of...You deserve better, that man can starve you to death.. so why not focus on your professional exams and work...I pray you meet some1 deserving...
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why the student visa is the only visa option that can get you to join him. A student visa is a tier which is solely for the individual, implying that he isn'tying to invite you.....Why is that so ?? Is he married to someone else hence cannot invite you as his spouse ?? Could that be the reason for the less frequent calls and chatting as the preferred means of communication ??
Some of these 'abroad marriages' can be a doorway to unhappiness if the man isn't coming out clear enough cos if you ignore these signs and get trapped, it can be extremely tiring and depressing to 'live a lie' in a less friendly n social system as the europeans.
As difficult as it may seem, the best option would be to take a walk. Happiness is necessary to keep a relationship but in this case the flare is gone, so gradually re-adjust your mindset to adapt to a life without him....open your heart to love and keep your self esteem high at all times. Love would find you and sweep you off your feet.
Li-yon Vls.
Do you know if he has papers to invite her has a wife? The guy has tried he has spent money hard earned money trying to bring her in the past and even paid for a visa and ticket for her to travel. Remember they are not married yet so why is the poster and her family members depending on the guy? Dear pater if you have seen someone else please leave the man alone it's not have if you've been single all these while
DeleteAmen stella
ReplyDeleteSeriously how do people cope in relationships without adequate communication? Hain! Poster 2, biko if you know you are not in love with him anymore kindly take a work, i know it's been 6years but it's obvious that you don't really know him so how the marriage wan tia work? Please pray about it well, and decide what to do asap. Poster 1 na boredom dey worry u.
ReplyDelete1: u need deliverance
ReplyDelete2: u don't have a problem. U said dats his nature; he doesn't talk much, he has spent a lot already, wat else do u want him to do for u? Anyway, if ur spirit does not marry him, if u don't av inner peace wit him, then move on. Pls someone should help me with a used Laptop ooo.
*mouth agape* Am short of words so Am dedicating this beautiful song to posters 1 and 2 and all those in confused states of mind. I pray Jesus (d Porter) fixes,mends, patches ur lives. Amen
ReplyDeleteVerse 1:
Incase u r falling by d way side of life
Dreams n Visions scattered u r broken inside
U don't have to stay in that state u are in
The porter wants to put u back
Together again
O the Porter wants to put u back
Together again
Chorus:
u who are broken
Stop by d porter's house
U who need mending
Stop by d porter's house
And give him...
Give him d fragments of ur broken life
My freeeeend
The porter wants to put u back together again
O The porter to put u back together again
Verse 2:
Incase ur situation has turned upside down
And all dat u have accomplished
Is now on d ground
U don't have to stay in d shape dat u r in
The porter wants to put u back
Together again
O the Porter want to put u back
Together again
(Chorus)
Aww I sang this while reading
DeletePoster 1, change comes from within, talk to yourself and stop that habit. Stop thinking about sex and focus on other things. Ask God for his mercies. Poster2, you already know what you are suppose to do; listen to your heart n do as it says. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Whether you marry him or not people must talk. Only care about what God n your mind thinks or want. Happy sunday all
ReplyDelete2: if he really wanted to be with you....you would be married to him by now. Why has he delayed even getting married at a registry? You wouldn't be looking for fees as you would have joined him as his wife. Unless he is now an illegal.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is no childs play. At the end be with someone who respects and adores you and above all a friend. You should find a way to talk to him when he comes down and hopefully that will help you decide what to do.
1. Stop this nonsense. Repent. Get busy and work on building your life. Sin will sink you.
poster1 needs lot of prayers and counselling.stay away from what will lure you into it.get your hands busy with something.give your life to christ
ReplyDeleteclick name to read on how to be a successful blogger
POSTER 2: I don't even know what to make of ur story. U'r asking for advice & at the same time being defensive of the rshp & why it should remain. What exactly want for urself & what are ur expectations in marriage?? The answer is glaring in d face but u choose to focus on d picture at d back of ur head. If it's not working, u move. But answer a few questions :Why do u want to marry this guy? Loneliness, fear of starting afresh, family pressure, or fear of bn alone. If ur answer is any of d following, then it's not right! U should have a heart to heart talk with ur man. Call him, make him talk to u. Ask him about his challenges. Do not assume all is well with him. Make him open up on issues bothering him. Do not make him feel pressured. Whatever the result of conversation is, u can make ur decisions from there. And also do a honest assessment of ur own self & know what u'r willing to undertake. Try also to attain a level of financial independence. Things may not be easy for him there... Married or not, the one thing you should never lose is the ability to meet your own financial needs. If you lose that, you are not free.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you sis
DeleteYou have said it all
Delete@Poster one, go to God and surrender your situation...... ask for help and admit your weakness. Get busy, find a hobby, acquire a skill, stay off erotic books, movies, stay away rrom guys especially in private...... be conscious of your thoughts, whenever you feel the rush coming....do not remain in seclusion. Join a department in church if u are a christian. The time you have on your hands, read books, related subjects to what you want to read, encyclopedias etc,. Broaden your knowledge, Do not hate yourself or feel defeated....... when you fail sometimes, toughen up and continue. Stay blessed!!!!
ReplyDelete@Poster two, pls get off that relationship... the red flag is too obvious. If studying abroad is not what you desperately need or your idea, pls invest and develop yourself in Nigeria. That fiance of yours is manipulative though you don't realise it but, at least you realise he is unreliable. Pray about your relationship, take stock of what it's been in a business like manner and, you will get the answer your intuition is screaming at you. You need a break from this relationship and see what is out there for you... 6 years of dating and now he is telling you he regrets the introduction already done..... You might soon start begging him for marriage, pls pack your dignity and breathe the fresh air....... i feel choked on your relationship drama already.
Please don't go and put yourself in bad position dear, pray much about it
ReplyDeletefind out your skin type and how to keep it glowing and healthy
10 things a woman should NEVER be caught without!!!
6 snacks you thought were healthy but are actually not!!!
Change your ID please. Thanks.
DeletePoster 1, avoid privacy for now...be staying where people are or just take a walk whenever you are horny. I pray it works!
ReplyDeletesex addict @17? hmmmm. poster2 I don't really understand your write up, I pray for God to give you understanding.
ReplyDeleteStudent visa?
ReplyDeleteMaybe that dude is married so be careful poster two.
If you don't feel comfortable, stay back and build ur life.
Over there, OYO is ur name because you won't have people to run to when you need help.
Poster 1, you need God that's all. Not by force born again or where u will start wearing Mary amaka clothes.
I mean born again where you are spiritually minded and filled with the Holy spirit. Study the word whenever u have thoughts of sex. Also put it to God in prayers, tell Him you need His help because you have realized that you can't help yourself.
I pray it goes well with you
word! For poster2 . over OYO is your case.
DeletePoster 2- You are the one with problem, you are becoming too much of a liability on your boo, please don't think Europe is so easy that your man is now your atm machine, you are putting too much burden on him hence his withdrawal, nobody wants to marry a liability, let your family also shoulder some of the responsibility and you will see that things will improve. Even your parent will nag sometimes if you keep asking them for money
ReplyDelete"Even ur parent nag sometimes wen u keep asking for money".Best comment ever,nice one.
Delete1. Try to get busy with your life, Join a choir or an involuntary organization, Get Busy! Avoid being alone, get a roommate if u hav to
ReplyDelete2. There is no Perfect man, we all have a Coma that comes in different xtristics, Just stay with the man u can manage his negative sides unogo?
You guys haven't seen each other in two years! Dats wt is doing u Pple! U still love him wen u see him u wud knw! U only feel dis way cos u feel u dnt luv him..
ReplyDeletePoster 1 Pele oh.
ReplyDeleteYou have to acess why you gear towards sex. It could be triggered by loneliness bored etc. Note y the trigger.
Having had a relationship with an active sex partner. Your mind needs o be renewed.
Rom 12:1-2
Cold turkey by His grace shut off all triggers, when they rise up say Jesus Christ. Fast thrice a week as your spirit man is charged word of God speak life to your self. Look for self esteem scripture in the blog commentary.
Curse the root of lust at very root . Tell Jesus Christ everyday you have given it to him. Ps 23 he restore your soul. Curse any incubus and succubus.
Evit from places that condemn you and remind you of your sins. Shame is a trigger to recurring habits. No laying of hands.
Sleep with audio word of God on.
Shalom
#1: Darling, like any addictive behaviour, the mind plays a major role. Just because you haven't seen instance changes doesn't necessarily mean the solutions you sought aren't working. If you allow fear and hopelessness entwine you like a snake, your situation will be resistant to deliverance. Faith is a sine qua non for the evidence of deliverance.
ReplyDeleteIf really you have fasted, prayed and gone for deliverance, there must be appreciable changes unless you aren't doing it right. Sweetie, how do you pray? Do you know the principles of fasting? I'm no pastor or some religious personality, in fact I'm still battling to live right by God's standards but I know a few things about the Kingdom principles. If you've been liberated but still have a captive's mentality, you will still live like a captive. Because of mental slavery the eaglet behaved like a chick (baby chicken). A mother hen hatched the egg of an eagle and raised the eaglet like her chicks. Naturally, the eaglet had the features of an eagle but had the mentality of a chicken and behaved like the chicks, picking worms from the ground with its beak instead of gliding with wind and souring to the highest heights. Even when it saw its reflection in a pool of water, it knew it looked different but its mentality kept it bound. Not until the mother eagle flew down to encourage and liberate the mind of the eaglet, that it realised the tragedy of it all. An eagle, the king of birds of prey, living like the prey! If that eaglet refused to change its chicken mentality, it probably would have died as a chicken regardless of the fact that everybody saw it for the eagle it really was.
Same applies here, if you still feel the way you felt before the help you sought, then it's either you went about it the wrong way or your mind has held you captive and another bout of deliverance will be ineffective until you set your mind free. Start by stop calling yourself a sex addict. Search your conscience and be sure you really want help because you want a change and not because you broke up with your boyfriend. Assuming you meet a boy who is as obsessed with sex and he is crazy about you. Will you still want the help or see him like the answer to your prayers? You have to be honest with yourself.
Sweetie, you are just a baby, being sexually hyperactive at such a tender age is a free pass to a tragic future. Try again, seek divine intervention as well as medical intervention. I know of a medical condition caused by an usual upsurge of certain hormones. It may be a symptom of a latent medical or psychological condition. I pray you get the help you need very soon.
#e-bearhugs my love.
Poster 2, the man is nice, ,, he can't probably do everything for you.... and moreover distance relationship is always like that. get something doing to also assist him okay.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 pls put on ur running shoes if not u will end up like me who married a man that has all d qualities u listed above. I saw d signs but thought I could live with it. Today I wish I could turn back d hands of the clock.
ReplyDeleteWomen and their ways. Only a man that is a slave to them is a good man. When you wanted to go for vacation, you didn't tell him everything ( you told him you had no money while you actually had it), that's okay with you but it is wicked and mean as far as you are conerned because he doesn't tell you everything especially how much he has for you to decide what to do with it. It is this your mindset that always results in claims of disappointments
ReplyDeletePoster two you are a liability. Stop leeching off this man and make some money youself, you are saying who leaves his woman stranded like you dont have parents too to help you. the man done try.
ReplyDeleteI will be there,lol.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. I guess distance is d issue or u probably talk too much rubbish dts why communication is poor. Hv for once tot if things re really going well for ur boo? Abeg d guy needs support u.
ReplyDeleteAfter the ragae play d blues
ReplyDeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteThe guy have tried as you stated here and he even made efforts to bring
you to his state and you should have no better cos not easy and alots of
guys living here in western world that just wanted to marry an afrian lady will
not do that,and i think he dont have a working permit and paying his tax right
cos if he is working right and paying his tax i think he must have every right
to invite you since he can promise to take cares of you,,and also some family
preasures that never knows how he is feeding but depending on him in all,
you should know better about him cos he did not hide anything for you by bringing
you where he is living and you knows that,,i will advice you to start making use of
ur time to do better for your self and forget him for now,he will come for you when
you keep silents to him and his family members,shalom..from swiss
I haven't been here in a long while. I popped in today and saw Ronaldna's post. Chaii see the way I screamed, 'whao she's back' ehnnnnn my husband asked me who I was referring to. I responded saying, 'see ehnnn you can't understand o'.......welcome back and please don't touch that dial anymore. BeeJConcerns
ReplyDeletePoster one
ReplyDeleteYour problems is like that person who always feeling hungry to every food
whenever she dont have any money to buy the food,,
so the more you tell your very self a word is better for you,
only if you know what you are doing to your very self in spirits,
read about what JESUS said about what can defiled you.
from swiss
Poster 1 you are possessed. At 17 and you are addicted to sex instead of you to be thinking about your studies and how to become someone in life. Please before going for deliverance start asking God for the grace to overcome that urge and also search for a church known for deliverance and carry your self to that church for serious deliverance and may God deliver you. Poster 2 are you blind or what? May God open your eyes so you can see beyond the physical.
ReplyDeletePoster number 2.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you for free that this man has a life out here.
Why are some women so blind to reality?
You're wasting your time, waiting, wishing, and wanting, including compromising.
Poster number 1
It's mind over matter, when you become infected with all sort of deadly infection/disease, including herpes, HIV AIDS and now Ebola, you'll call yourself to order.
Poster number 2.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you for free that this man has a life out here.
Why are some women so blind to reality?
You're wasting your time, waiting, wishing, and wanting, including compromising.
Poster number 1
It's mind over matter, when you become infected with all sort of deadly infection/disease, including herpes, HIV AIDS and now Ebola, you'll call yourself to order.
Lolz your comment is so funny.
DeletePoster 1: I feel sad for your situation and I wish I knew you so I could be of help. but darling, if you continue this way, you will end up looking older than your age and no man would want you. You could also get pregnant or get a disease. Can you just decide on what you want out of life and then work towards it, pleaseeeee.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I think its your 'Le boo'who needs to take a walk from you. How can you wanna go study abroad and cant even afford your complete fees? Oh Please! get a grip on yourself. its girls like you who end up painting other girls bad. So because a guy wants to marry you, he automatically assumes the position of your father abi.