Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives.

Na wah!...

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

MARRIED TO A CHRONIC MASTURBATOR

Dear Stella,

I’m a lover of your blog and I follow the chronicles religiously. I never knew I would end up writing one but what can a distressed sister do? When I was growing up, I vowed that I won’t have sex until I get married and luckily, although with lots of discipline, I made it. Unfortunately, I’m married to a serial cheat. My husband cheats with no remorse. The sad thing is that he doesn’t cheat on me with fellow women. And he’s not gay. But he can masturbate his last drop of blood away.

 My husband is a chronic masturbator. He masturbates at any given chance. In fact, we are always short of soaps and lotion. That’s how bad he is. It’s so sad. I’ve cried so many times. He has refused to seek help. I’m already contemplating divorce.

Five years ago, I met a young charming guy at the NYSC camp. He was such a lovable guy with a contagious smile. 

I fell in love with him at first sight. My happiest day was the day he asked me out for lunch. One thing led to the other and we started dating. Three years later, we got married. When I initially met him he wasn’t sexually active. In fact, the first time, he had sex, it was with one riff raff girl in the school he was posted to for NYSC. He apologized to me and I forgave him after taking an HIV test six months later. He later said it was because I won’t let him have sex with me.

The first six months of our wedding was fun-filled except that he insisted on using rubber at all times. He has a crazy phobia for body fluids. Now, we have no children. He prefers masturbation to sex. He bought me a vibrator too but that won’t get me pregnant. I’m fed up. I think I have nothing to lose if I leave him. He doesn’t want to get help. He’s a crazy psycho. But I don’t know how to go about the divorce.  What should I do?

Aunty Stellz, I’m just over thirty. I can still start again. I need your red ink and sincere advice from BVs. If you like cuss me, I know you don’t what it feels like to be in my situation.

Cuss you keh?I need to buy you running shoes from those in house news shoe vendors!...WTF,from what you described,it looks like you married ONE CHANCE!

My dear let others advise you abeg,I am confused on what to give as correct advice.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

BORING BOYFRIEND

Hello Stella!

Please I need advice from BVs, I have a situation and I'm confused on what to do. I am a 19yr old undergraduate and I'm dating a 28yr old graduate whose job recently ended some months before we started dating. We were introduced by a mutual friend because we both just got out of bad relationships.

My boyfriend is extremely calm,handsome,gentle, caring, mature and kind but the only issue I have with him is that he's TOO BORING and I don't even feel like I'm dating. Before he asked me out, we used to chat well and we seemed like a perfect match but it dwindled when we started dating.

We started dating early August and he hasn't called me up to 10 times, he hardly chats and when he does, I'm the one who struggles to keep the chats lively (right now we only chat about 3times a week and it doesn't last 10 minutes). Whenever I visit, we don't talk much too, he won't say much except I start talking. Or we'll talk small then he'll sleep off till I'm ready to go. Whenever I complain about his 'boringness' he'll just smile and say he "talks naw" or "it depends". I love gentle guys but this guy is reallyy boring. I even had to cheat on many occasions because there's no connection between us. I really tried to be patient hoping he'll change but no result still.

Another issue is he has never told me 'I love you' or any sweet stuff. I don't think he's cheating because he doesn't hide his phone or should I snoop to confirm ? I sha summoned courage and told him the relationship is boring and I'm not feeling it, he begged me and promised to change. Well, he changed for a week and went back to his old ways and I am still cheating on him. I told the mutual friend who introduced us, she said he's gentle naturally, she also said his ex also used to complain that he does not communicate and when she threatens breakup he'll change for a while but still go back.

I don't give him any wahala, I don't ask him for money or anything, except money for transport once in a while. We don't even quarrel or anything, always on good terms. I don't know if that's his nature to be soo boring or something.

Now the question is should I just break up with him finally or give him more time because I like his kind of person but I'm getting tired. I feel like we're just FWB or something. I really dunno what to do. Thanks in advance.

19years and already a self professed cheater.19 and already been in and out of a bad relationship? 19 with this mindset?May God deliver that young man from your hands in Jesus name *Moonwalks from post*