Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Angela has a word for those of you who cannot walk forward or backward!

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

FORGIVING THE MOLESTER,YOURSELF AND MOVING ON IS POSSIBLE

Hello Stella,

My name is Angela. I was introduced to your blog just last month and it has been an amazing experience. You have created quite a community here. Keep up the good work and God bless you. Straight to my narrative. I have been meaning to write in on the increased incidences of rape but yesterday's narrative (8/10/15) gave me a final push. 

My story is similar to that of the lady that wrote in but in my case, I got introduced to sex so early that I don't even know when it actually happened or who disvirgined me . Just that by age 5-6 I already had multiple sexual encounters. I am 28 years old now and I remembered the last time I had sex. I was 8 years old. Something just changed within me and I said this is wrong and I won't do it anymore so I stopped. 

My cousin that was living with us then grabbed me as usual that evening and wanted to have sex with me and I told him NO. He was about 17 years old at the time. I blamed him for a long time but who am I deceiving?

 He didn't disvirgin me, I already had sex with neighborhood boys at that time. As a matter of fact I remember the first time we were alone and he put me on the bed and was grinding on top of me I told him that "next time let us remove our pants" this was a six year old girl telling a 17 year old boy that. There  was a time I had 3 boys take turns on me. I don't want to go into my 'sexcapades' but by age 8 that I stopped having sex. I must have had a body count of at least 10. This story of mine is really to help other people out there that have been in similar situations and are finding it hard to move on like the yesterday's poster. 


The first thing to do is to forgive yourself. I forgave myself because I knew carrying that weight with no one to talk to could ruin my life. I prayed for the next 12 years for forgiveness and one day something just told me don't you think it's time to stop praying for forgiveness and believe that God has actually forgiven you?

 That settled, I let go of hate. I hated my mother because I thought she wasn't approachable so I could not discuss anything with her. Then my formative years were with my granny because I was sickly as a child so I am convinced I was introduced to sex in her place but I blamed my mother because who pawns off her sick child to her mother? Then I hated my cousin because I felt he was older and should have known better and most of all I hated myself for being beautiful, for having urges for sex because even now the greatest mystery of my life has been how I became sexually active. 

I can't for sure say I was raped because I don't remember and I never saw my parents or anyone having sex for that to have piqued my interest. So I let go of the hate and I started loving myself. I finished with a first class in computer engineering, finished my masters in the same field top of my class and finished my PhD at 25, I have a great job.

For the poster of the narrative you might think you don't love your husband but believe me if you are with the other man you 'supposedly love' it will be the same story. You can't give what you don't have so love yourself first. I have so many other things to say but this narrative is long enough. Trust me you need to move on. 

My cousin now pastors a big church. So if your molester can move on please do the same and trust God for healing.

Thank for this re-assuring piece,I am sure it will help someone move on....

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
ENCOURAGING YOUR SIBLING TO LEAVE....

Hi  Stella..am writing this on behalf of my sister with tears in my eyes.She is in a very bad marriage and advice from BVs will go a long way to ease her pain and help with deciding the way forward.

 My sister will turn 42 next year and she is TTC.she has been married for 11 years.I will try to cut the story short.

 My sister's heart was broken by her fiance of almost 10 years and Among the reasons why he broke up with her was that she was too close to her current husband.other reasons ranged from increase in weight to other silly stuff.

  Her current husband who was just a classmate and a friend consoled her and encouraged her all the way.

After his nysc,he proposed to my sis and told her that he had been in love with her right from the beginning  but hid it cos she was already in a relationship
( recently it came to light that he deliberately destroyed my sister's first relationship by feeding the cousin of my sister's ex with lies about my sister in order to seperate them so that he can step in)she accepted...not because she was in love,but because she was lonely .

 She got pregnant a few months before the wedding but he encouraged her to abort it cos it will be showing by the time they wed.she did only for him to call on her a night before the wedding to confess to having a child with a lady he had one night stand with in his village. She had no choice cos it was a day to the wedding. She forgave him and from then on it was one prob to the other

 In the almost 11 years ,different  issues have come up.ladies who cursed him.His mum cursed him.

Infact my sis has gone to his village to beg the mother of his child cos she was told that she cursed him cos he didn't marry her.The kid has been living with my sis since he was 9 years old. She can't get pregnant.she has gone from church to church, hospital to herbal homes to no avail yet.

 Her husband will insult her and call her names,sleeping with girls all over the place and throwing it in her face.This morning one of his girlfriends called my sis to tell her to stop pursuing her in the dream that my sister's husband has been patient enough that she should leave him to marry another woman.I want her to leave the marriage but she is afraid cos at 42 she doesn't know what else to do.she has a master's degree but doesn't have a very good job.

  I don't want my sis to die from high blood pressure.This is a man who is diabetic and having issues with his erection yet he goes about selling my sister as the barren one to people.

Please advice her.i am tired. He doesn't give her money.sometimes she pays his child's school fees cos he complains about not having money.Am so angry...I want her to leave.

You know what?At 42years of age,if your sister cannot make up her mind to know what is good or bad for her then why should i help her make it?

If the situation you described is as bad as described and she is still there,then i dont know what else to say....Perhaps some other BV's will help out.
If your sister will read this then let her know that this life is only ONCE.
If you do not make good use of the day,the day will make good use of you!....selah.