Hmmm na wah!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET...
My buddy Amarachi (named for this narrative alone) has always been mischievous. We played a lot of pranks together and we had fun while growing up. I remember during our dating days. A lot of guys suffered in our hands. A guy would ask Amarachi out and she'd give the guy my number and someone would call saying he met me somewhere and for the life of me I'd have no recollection but the person would address me by my name and surname.
My friend is multi lingual. She speaks at least 4 Nigerian languages fluently. Her family moved around a lot and she certainly had an ear for languages. I remember we had about 4 Ebira neighbours and within a year my friend was having conversation with them in Ebira though not fluently. That's just to show how fast she was at learning.
But most times she wouldn't let people know she understands these languages till when she is insulted or someone says something that infuriates her and she would reply with deep curse words.
Now when she met her husband, he was just a toaster she never took seriously so even though they were from different ethnic groups she never told him she could speak his language. When the relationship was getting serious I encouraged her to disclose but she refused.
She was enjoying the fact that he would talk to his relatives about her in her presence since he wasn't aware she could understand. There were instances when some of his family members made derogatory remarks about her in her presence this babe kept her cool.
Five years into the marriage and 2 kids now she is in a dilemma. The husband is worried about what Nigerian language his kids will speak. He has voiced to her he wants them to understand his own language and she shares the same opinion. To make it easier for him he brought his mum to live with them so she'd teach the kids since they're in their developing years.
Living with a mother in law hasn't been fun for her. The woman will be smiling at her just after insulting her and a whole lot more. So she feels she has had enough and wants to come out of the closet but she feels her husband will feel betrayed. I don't know what advice to give.
This mischief went too far.
It just got me wondering. What is that one thing about you that you didn't disclose to your partner? Or what is it about you that no one knows?
Make i read comments.
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DATING A FAT PERSON
Ah,make i read comments.
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DATING A FAT PERSON
Hello Stella,
I have been dating a young man for about 8years now, we were quite young when we started dating, we are planning our wedding now and it's in a few months time. We are so in love with each other .
The issue now is that I am not comfortable with his weight. He keeps adding weight as the years go by, and I'm becoming concerned. I have a small frame myself,(just 5ft) but he's fat and looks huge when we stand together. He doesn't seem to see the pot belly and fat as anything to worry about, but apart from aesthetics, I'm concerned about his health in the long run.
I need advice on how to bring up the issue with tact without hurting his feelings ( you know how people are with weight issues) and also help him lose some of the extra pounds.
Thanks people
Am here to read commets.
ReplyDelete*******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
...and soon you'll havr jealous lots cursing u
DeletePoster 1 let her tell dem she understands dem but kept quiet but with a low voice. She paid someone to teach her d language.. She can't keep silent forever.
DeleteBeggy beggy, good for nothing Emjay.You can never make any intelligent comment to save your miserable life.I will never forget how I snubbed your cheap ass @ the Lagos Sdk party.
DeleteUseless person.
Poster 1, let her just lie to her hubby that's she's been learning secretly and wants to surprise him. She should speak like she's still a learner.
DeletePoster 2, tell him you guys need to run some test and plan with the doctor to tell him to try and loose weight if not it will affect his heart beat and sperm count. Who wan die?
@poster1 : I don't see any wrong your friend has done here especially by not disclosing 2 the hubby that she understands his language.
DeleteThere is nothing like betrayal here!
Is left 4 her 2 disclose it 2 her husband or not.......stop bothering yourself biko.
There is nothing to be worried about here n this one is not a chronicle 2 me.
@poster2 : you are not serious!
You dated him 4 8yrs and is now that u want to wed him that u noticed that he has been adding weight.
Too of you should hit the gym!
Dumbo!never having anything intelligent to offer!get a life!
DeleteQueen Em Jay,please tell me how you do it??wow!!
DeleteLOL
DeleteFix it Jesus. Lol don't just know what to say. Telling a fat person to lose weight is one bug wahala. E no get how u wan put am. It must sound like an insult. Except d person is understanding. If my bf wants to tell me am adding when he sees my new pic he will say "baby you are okay the way you are and I love u that way but don't add more. Just remain this way. You are sweet like this" lmao... I will hit sports complex the next day.
DeleteEmjay I dey ur back,me too wan read comments
DeleteAnon15.23 see painment on top emjay.it's so obvious U are hopelessly in love with her, see how U hover around her comments like a bush lap dog.U are a very bitter person and it will kill U soon.it's so obvious U asked her out and U we're rejected, so U won't allow us hear word.gerrarahere,U wicked person. Emjay,I luv D fact U don't reply anyone and just do U.
DeleteSince his mother has been around for a while, she could as well claim she has learnt the language too.
DeleteSince his mother has been around for some time, she could as well claim that she just learnt the language.
DeleteSince his mother has been around for some time, she could as well claim that she just learnt the language.
DeleteOloriburuku fukard leave em jay alone,jealous oloshosss,joke of d century u snub someone that doesn't knw u? Educated illiterate gererehere bastard.
DeleteLet her just tell her hubby dat she understands the language.
DeleteAnno15:22,u have use been using that line too much,try sometin new imbecile,where do u knw emjay sef?
DeletePoster one! Keep hiding it if you like. But there is nothing wrong if you disclosed it to him you now understand his language, moreover, you guys are married for five years. He can't expect you not to.
DeletePoster 2: The major reason why you need to marry him is not about look. If you are satisfied with every other things apart from him pot belly and fat.
You can encourage him to work on it. If you guys got married, you can control what he eat and encourage him for exercise.
Possibly, when you get married and started giving birth, you will also add some weath. So dont disqualify him.
But if you are looking for flimsy excuse to dumb this guy, just tell us. And if you insist on your opinion, kindly consider me for replacement...am extremely lin. But I hope one day, you won't dump me for having no pot belly. Lol.
See: How To Know If Your Partner Is A Cheat
Anon 15:23, ki la gbe ki le ju
Deletesome of those fat bastards can be annoying.. i mean some of them can eat for Africa.. they eat around the clock and in large quantities.. they order family size for themselves alone and still add take away and u expect me to be nice to such fat person? how about no! tell that ur boyfriend he is too obese for ur type of groom.. he should go on 365 days dry fasting or kiss the wedding goodbye.. gluttony is a sin.. its in the bible.. garrrrrrrrrrr
DeletePoster 2 you saw him fat right and now you're complaining that he is getting too fat. Tell him to wire his mouth and start taking walks everyday.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 OYO
Madam nosering and lip ring,no informed comment as usual. You even tried today. The other day,You only wrote "LOL"
DeleteYa right my dear....but am very sure the main issue is that his 'Prick' must be very small too. Daz why? FAT men = Small Dick #yimu#
DeleteIf he wires his teeth,he will hv bad breath. Both of them shld hit d gym.
DeletePoster two weight is a sensitive issue. Bring up the issue of healthy eating and maybe join him in walks. There is an app that helps count your daily steps to help you stay healthy, download it for him and encourage him to meet the daily target.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't talk with him on weight then you may not be able to be married because you will talk on more sensitive issues as a couple.
Poster one, Amarachi should sort herself out. No issue requiring a narrative here abeg
Best comment for me!
Delete*phewwwwwwwww*
ReplyDeleteOver-feeding dey worry all of una today, especially poster 2 with her teddy bear boyfriend
No mind dem,when dey chop belleful dey go dey disturb person!!!
DeleteBabu sense! U no just get Sense at all.
DeleteP1, just come out already. Better than keeping it all in.
ReplyDeleteP2, talk to him and make him reason with you.
Jesus is Lord.
Poster 2, since u two wld be getting married soon, make sure u watch wat he eats, stylishly place him on diet.
ReplyDeleteU can also introduce him to road walk every morning, but have it at the back of your mind that u have to be ready urself cos u are the one who's going to motivate him.
Meanyl, I'm sure he didn't grow fat over night, u saw his stature frm the day 1, u shld av known he's likely to add more in the nearest future! How come u are now bothered? *side eyes*
Sometimes when I hear my friend my friend in chronicles I'm forrced to say kuku say na u we no dey see u.Anyway,whats d issue here? Nothing,The line has to be drawn @ one point or the other baa? If ur hubby has not spoken up for u when u r being insulted then u shud do so for urself but not rudely.U do not tell it to her cos u won't want someone speaking bk to ur own mum.Tell ur hubby that overtime u have gotten to understand d language bt it's disappointing that he does nothing abt it.Let him use his brain to understand how u learnt d language,
ReplyDeletePoster 2: bfor we start any rship,we shud take in our partner what we can tolerate in d long run,n8 yrs in love n u r starting to realise boo is fat because u guys r getting married. Y r u bothered since since u didn't help him in d beginning.
FAT men are turn off to me...
ReplyDeleteI won't even look at you talkeless of talking or dating you...
Poster 2,
The choice is yours...if you can manage him like that fine but FAT people are prone to so many illness like Diabeties,HBP etc...
Are you ready to be managing these illness with him?...and their dick is always tiny though I personally don't like big dicks...
Manage him if he is rich...but if he is a broke ass,my dear run!...
Your spec will come...don't be desperate...
I forgot to add that they snore a lot too...
Lwkmd. I dey always gbadun ur comments..
DeleteMehnnn I prefer fat men to halitosis men any day any time
DeleteHahahahaha
DeleteLinLin beanyi,poster is about to get married isi ya her spec will come?
Bwahahaha! I have been laughing seriously today,from one funny post to the other.
Yeah you dated one before and his dick was too tiny for you to suck. ...right or wrong
DeleteHahhahaha
DeleteEziokwu Linda,isi adiro gi nma
Hahhahaha
Now m dreading reading down to see what the Only Authority In English Language has to say
Hahahhaha dis blog na tonic.
To the both posters, just tell 'em.
ReplyDeleteHeaven will not fall.
Poster one: No matter how she says it, he's going to feel betrayed, but then, better she does it than he finds out himself.
I don't think it's an issue that can't be sorted out.
People will tell her to take it to her grave with her, but wharahell?
Just spill it abeg.
Poster two: You could enroll the both of you for gym classes.
He can't be so mulish he won't want to keep fit.
Before he knows it, you've incorporated healthy eating into his diet.
Unu goodluck o.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Don't like keeping secrets like dat.it chokes me.
DeleteI think she should just say she picked it up this one Mama came around.
Ha! Make I follow stella read comments.
ReplyDeletePst 1. You are very strong to have kept it a secret for 5yrs.
Pst 2
Please ask money maker he alone can give you the answer.
Babe just tell him to lose weight hoohaa...
ReplyDeleteIf he doesn't agree then allow him n manage him like that, if u can't then fly.
Poster one is a good writer, ur friend should say she learnt d language na and allow her MIL dig the floor and bury herself, she's not a nice woman, plus it can't break her marriage, make she come out open.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, both of u should register in a gym na, try to do exercise and encourage him to join, am sure he will join u, u say he loves u right? I'm sure he will want to spend time with u
Poster 1... Tell ur friend not to come out of this language closet of hers too abrupt as it would bring doubt into his mind as what else is she keeping from him.... Let her start by (1) buying say cds that teach her particular hubby's language and playing it noticeably in d house so that everyone thinks that shes learning, then let her keep up the appearance for say 5months while slightly communicatng like a learner to the mother-in-law, that way it would be convincing enough.
ReplyDeleteOnce she can successfully convince her hubby that she can communicate the basics to the kids in d house, then she can kick the nosy mother -in-law out
No need. Any day the mother insults her, let her insult her back but not in front of the husband. When the mama tells her son, she should lie dat she only repeated when the mama said
DeleteJasmine lmao.. ds is good.. I actually saw 1 movie like dt 1 time. . Tho these 1ns were both yoruba buh d MIL na made in hell.. so the wife went to see FIL.. FIL told her dt himself tire for the wife dt she has refused to com bk home.. he gives d wife licence to misbhave.. na so ds wife start.. when d husband is home shes all lovey dovey.. 1nce hubby leaves her n mil home.. she displays several crase for d woman.. d woman go report.. wife go deny.. husband go confuse.. lmao..
DeleteI love you Jasmine! Lmao
DeleteSome mother Inlaws though....
DeleteLmao, jasmine. Abi oh
DeletePoster 1: she should speak the language to her mother in law one day and claim she has been learning it by listening to them and other teach her small, that she wanted to surprise her MIL so she would see that she is try to make her happy!! Her Mother in law might like her from then.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: someone's weight is a delicate topic to talk with them about, but u can leave clue or plan with a doctor to tell him to reduce cos his heart is becoming congested. People get scared when doctors get involved!
Poster 1. She can start speaking little by little and adding enuf English, so that the hubby will think she's just learning from d mother inlaw that is around simple. No need disclosing the fact that she speaks d language well at least to avoid problem.
ReplyDeletePoster2 he d one you are about to marry so why cnt u sit him down and talk to him telling him how you feel. This is marriage or for better or for worse, and it should be life time too so you better act fast.
Una no get problem abeg
ReplyDeletePoster 1... Tell ur friend not to come out of this language closet of hers too abrupt as it would bring doubt into his mind as what else is she keeping from him.... Let her start by (1) buying say cds that teach her particular hubby's language and playing it noticeably in d house so that everyone thinks that shes learning, then let her keep up the appearance for say 5months while slightly communicatng like a learner to the mother-in-law, that way it would be convincing enough.
ReplyDeleteOnce she can successfully convince her hubby that she can communicate the basics to the kids in d house, then she can kick the nosy mother -in-law out
Poster 1... Tell ur friend not to come out of this language closet of hers too abrupt as it would bring doubt into his mind as what else is she keeping from him.... Let her start by (1) buying say cds that teach her particular hubby's language and playing it noticeably in d house so that everyone thinks that shes learning, then let her keep up the appearance for say 5months while slightly communicatng like a learner to the mother-in-law, that way it would be convincing enough.
ReplyDeleteOnce she can successfully convince her hubby that she can communicate the basics to the kids in d house, then she can kick the nosy mother -in-law out
Poster 1,She should take the secret to her grave.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,U are very Shameless.
Why did you accept to date or marry a FAT person?
What were U thinking?
Are you mentally ok?
I know he is a disgrace in bed. Dat s why you want to pull out?
@money maker atuo na gi nbor,okwaya Mr FAT
Delete@money maker atuo na gi nbor,okwaya Mr FAT
DeleteYour own no dey pass ''you are very shameless''
Delete*falling on the ground laughing hysterically*
DeleteHahhahahahahahaha
DeleteDis Money Maker won't kill me
Hahhahaha
Crazy boy!
Shut up emjay!Idiot,you always have nothing sensible to say.Mumu
ReplyDeleteLmaooooooo.Una no go kiii me for dis blog.
DeleteMake una leave Emjay alone naw.
She is not the only mumu here.
What of the nosering and lip ring woman?
Bitter leaf anonymous Cynthia.
DeleteAnony15:14, and u had something to say. Right???
DeleteCyber Bullying Skunk!
Leave emjay, haba. U guys are so pained, tueh
DeleteStella, why u dey read comments today? Poster 1: she should just speak the lang to d hubby, telling him she understands little but didn't want to disclose cos she wanted to learn d type of ppl her in laws were. Now she.knows dem enof so no more hiding it. Shikina
ReplyDeletePoster 2: NNE, tell him u r not comfy with the way he is becoming fatter. That his health is Paramount. Den feed him with less fatty food. Its no biggie. A frnd of mine was in this before. She don tire with the diet self as d guy no send.
Poster 2. Register both of you in a gym, dnt force him to do it alone, join him in working out, act now before him big bele go make him pwick disappear
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteLmao
DeleteHmmmmm...poster 1....how can your friend hide such a good thing....if i can speak and hear different languages,i would be happy...
ReplyDeleteI think your friend should let her mil teach her kids well then she should burst their bubbles and tell them!!
Poster 2- you can help by saying! Baby lets jog together,let us not eat akpu this night lets take tea..etc
The governor's last born
She should ensure for a month and in that month form like she is taking lessons from the MIL .
ReplyDeleteShe can even bug her hubby at night to teach her his language and be forming like she is learning.
Stammer small and all
After one month, tell ur hubby u are good with the language and can take over. Don't try to speak like pro almost immediately. Form phony small small.
They will only express surprise that u learnt quite fast.
Don't go and confess that u have been fluent all along oo. Your hubby will never ever tryst you again and when there is no truse. ..a rship gets shaky
Cocoz ur head dey dere.and u know some peeps pick languages veryyyy fast.
DeletePOSTER 1: CAN YOU FORM A LEARNER OF THE LANGUAGE AND LEARN WITH YOUR KIDS FOR THE MAIN TIME BECAUSE TELLING YOUR HUSBAND NOW COULD RUIN YOUR HOME O. PLEASE EXERCISE PATIENT FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS, FORM A LEARNER AND IGNORE THEM FOR NOW. SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THEY ABUSE NOT YOUR KIDS. COME TO THINK OF IT, I THINK YOU HAVE AN EDGE BY UNDERSTANDING THE LANGUAGE ATLEAT IT MAKING YOU KNOW THE KIND OF PERSON THEY ARE SO AS TO KNOW WHAT THEY THINK OF YOU.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: ITS BETTER TO TELL HIM NOW TO WATCH HIS WEIGHT FOR HIS HEALTH PURPOSE NOW BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED AND PUT IT THAT ITS FOR HIS HEALTH PURPOSE NOT OTHERWISE. ITS A SERIOUS ISSUE O, IT MAY MAKE YOU FALL OUT OF LOVE FOR HIM IN THE NEAREST FUTURE, PLEASE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CORRECT, DO IT NOW BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A SERIOUS ISSUE DONT BE HOOKED WITH MANAGING A MAN O, TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE O. STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY SHA
Hmmmmm...poster 1....how can your friend hide such a good thing....if i can speak and hear different languages,i would be happy...
ReplyDeleteI think your friend should let her mil teach her kids well then she should burst their bubbles and tell them!!
Poster 2- you can help by saying! Baby lets jog together,let us not eat akpu this night lets take tea..etc
The governor's last born
Stella pls make that quenshon under no 1 post a stand alone post plssssssss cus som peeps gat some cofessns 2 make.hullalla. Now 2 d post 1,na u do ur sef.Tell him u learn 4rm google,groupie 4rm facebook,blogs .There r so many ways 2 kill a rat naa.Then tell him u wana surprise him datz y u didn't tell him wen u were learning it.D okwu erijuro afo naa. Poster2,say ur mind & tell him its cuz u luv him but if u knw u can't live wit fatty orobo then call off d wedding cuz we no want chronicle & bear it in mind dt d bigger d tommy d smaller d prick b4 it turns 2 finger battery.
ReplyDeleteD's stories gbeke!
ReplyDeleteStella pls make that quenshon under no 1 post a stand alone post plssssssss cus som peeps gat some cofessns 2 make.hullalla. Now 2 d post 1,na u do ur sef.Tell him u learn 4rm google,groupie 4rm facebook,blogs .There r so many ways 2 kill a rat naa.Then tell him u wana surprise him datz y u didn't tell him wen u were learning it.D okwu erijuro afo naa. Poster2,say ur mind & tell him its cuz u luv him but if u knw u can't live wit fatty orobo then call off d wedding cuz we no want chronicle & bear it in mind dt d bigger d tommy d smaller d prick b4 it turns 2 finger battery.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- Tell ur friend to start speaking the language like that, if the husband askes, she should tell him she picked it from his family members, himself and his mother over time.
ReplyDeletePoster2- Register both of you in a gym... and start sending articles on the dangers of fat to the health to his emails...na so
Na wa... u better let ur husband send his mum back to her hus house. Tel him u learnt the language recently.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- watch his meals for him, exercise together as part of hanging out together. Make it fun for him
boring chronicles
ReplyDeleteBlackgold, why don't you send one from your miserable life.Foolish girl.You want to read that husband cheat on his wife and beat up his mistress.
DeleteComments stroll in.
ReplyDelete1. Your friend should stylishly come out na by pretending to have learn't his language through a friend and through his conversations with his family. She shouldn't speak it fluently so she'll look like a starter.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the girl who was presented a certificate of purity for being a virgin, I will say it is a welcome development.
ReplyDeletePlease, be happy for her and don't be bitter. Nobody raped you or forced you to open yansh.
I encourage girls to be virgins till their wedding day. For this reason, I don't dis-flower girls. When I meet a virgin, I jump and pass. But if u aint a virgin, then I would fling my drilling bit into your Honeywell.
As simple as that
Lol... You try small for this .
DeleteMr money makes............
DeleteWell said. I respect virgins a lot. It show proper upbringing, discipline and self control.
U encourage girls to marry a virgin,while d dog of a husband wins trophy for fucking around. It doesn't make any sense saving virginity for men.
DeleteBiko poster1 has no problem,just greet ur husby in his language and speak some words to him and mama same time and they(mama *nd hsuby) will think u just learnt it. No need explaining u knew the language b4 marriage!
ReplyDeletePoster2- Babe tell ur husby to be dt his weight is giving u sleepless nights or u tell him u both need to start jogging!
Poster 1, u made me remember my NYSC days at d camp. I pretented not to understand nor speak yoruba language, and this resulted into very hot and bad night for my fellow hostel mates back then. Becuz they were all shocked and speechless wen I returned their gossip abt me wt their dialect(yoruba). So wat am I saying poster 1, ur frnd should come out frm dat closet and voice out her mind.
ReplyDeleteOn poster 1 it's better for u to keep ur little secret to ur self else the way ur husband will feel after all this years u urself won't believe it talking g from experience.
ReplyDeleteP1, five years of living with your hubby is not too early to become a master of language. Tell them that you can understand and speak their language now.
ReplyDeleteP2, you have been dating a man for long and managing his size until it's time to settle down. Please stop complaining, manage him as he is managing your size.
Nzube,you must be fat for supporting a fat person.
DeleteLol. Anon, don't worry whether am fat or not. Better to be fat than to be short. Why should a short babe be complaining about a fat man?
DeleteP1, you can tell your friend to tell her husband that she learned the language when they got married. P2, tell him to watch his weight nau, that is not an issue to worry about
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1: Do the needful, just tell ur husband d truth. it will definitely set u free. So peace can reign in ur home.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: Tell ur boo to hit d Gym. Guy no go come collaspe on ur small sature.Him no know say him heart they over work .
Poste 2 he shd start joGgin or gyming.. n cut on his diet.. u can as well do it with him.. as a kind of motivation.. so he won't feel bad
ReplyDeleteMe too*shines teeth
ReplyDeletePoste 2 he shd start joGgin or gyming.. n cut on his diet.. u can as well do it with him.. as a kind of motivation.. so he won't feel bad
ReplyDeleteJust show him d new look of Lepascious Bose. He needs lots of exercise. It all starts from the mind.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.. please come bak n giv us feed back on how the whole thing ends.. thank you.. but I believe she shlda voiced out when he asked abt the language his kids wld speak.. I no knw.. jst come n tell us aw it ends.. m very interested. . Lol
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. money maker and linda dey come.. they knw all abt FAT
ReplyDeleteLolz. It's very simple. He should do jogging every morning for at least 1hr continuously until he become a normal size.
DeletePoster 2, you been serious? For eight years and u can't discuss personal issues with ur life partner! this I don't support at all. guess it's something else after other than love... Pls fast forward
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you been serious? For eight years and u can't discuss personal issues with ur life partner! this I don't support at all. guess it's something else after other than love... Pls fast forward
ReplyDeletefunny them
ReplyDeleteany way sha. poster1: she is the coz of her problem, you knw hw to speak you husband language and u allowed him to bring in your mother-in-law to the house and u never care to tell him that you kne hw to speak his language.as u pretended be4 so continue to pretend forever ooooooooo.
poster2:my dear love cover all thing but make him knw wat u tink about his fatness
Love doesn't cover FAT. It's impossible.
DeleteHe should shed those massive weight.
I have an aunt who's married to a man from Delta State, she's from Cross River. She speaks his language fluently with her friend who's from the same state as her husband.They have been married for over 27 years and the husband doesn't know she speaks his language fluently. She knows all the rubbish the man and his people have said about her, but her cool she has kept. (I fear the woman o). Since you didn't come out of the closet since, there's no point now maybe later later in life you can come out. Just continue to keep your cool and know how best to thread with your in-laws.
ReplyDeleteThat ur aunt get mind sha
DeleteAre u trying us cross riverians? We can be very quiet and calculative. If she is efik, forgettit no one would ever know. Haha
Deletefunny them
ReplyDeleteany way sha. poster1: she is the coz of her problem, you knw hw to speak you husband language and u allowed him to bring in your mother-in-law to the house and u never care to tell him that you kne hw to speak his language.as u pretended be4 so continue to pretend forever ooooooooo.
poster2:my dear love cover all thing but make him knw wat u tink about his fatness
Hmmm....comments reading mode
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I think your friend took the language stuff too far.I'm like that too.for some reason people always assume I dont speak their language so they tend to say stuffs in the hopes that I dont understand the language and when I do reply in the same language they speak they are shocked.
ReplyDeleteI always know when to draw the line though.
How can u be married to someone for 5 good years and the person doesnt know everything about you? I fear who no fear your friend.
Imo, the earlier she opens up the better.
Poster 2,there is no easy way to say it.just look for a subtle way of passing the msg across..
You can start by telling him that you will love for the both of you to start exercising,gym or just jogging.
Cook healthy meals whenever you have to cook for him.
Take it up from there.
I suck at advice biko.
Pls o,I'm just here to ready today, bcos is Friday, who has wat to say should talk now.
ReplyDeleteLet her come out of the closet. Is it very difficult to do???
ReplyDeletePoster Two: Let him know about how you feel concerning his weight in a very subtle manner.. Make him see reasons and agreee with you on why d weight is not the best for him.... Good luck to you both...
Poster 1 Wow I can imagine! and DH might not have brought in MIL if he knew wifey understood the language.
ReplyDeletePoster2: bring up the topic with wisdom. Sound very concerned and lay emphasis on the negative effects of excessive weight gain. Make it more of health concerns than his appearance before prof erring solutions.
Huh this is serious.
ReplyDeleteToday's chronicles are just funny.
ReplyDelete@ poster 1, your friend does not need to disclose how fluent she is in the language. She should pretend she's only a 'learner'. Moreover, there are very fast learners, and becoz it's her DH's language, she put in a great effort to learn it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, encourage him to shed some weight
Stella Na to read comments you dey today?
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you kinda waited to long to come out about it. But you can also play it that when your MIL was teaching your children that when you were picking the language up little by little. Good luck dou
ReplyDeletePoster 2: you need to try and talk to him. Pls don't be rude ooo. If not you might end up resenting him later. Goodluck on ur wedding
Poster 1, she should tell her hubby she has being learning to speak his language and was keeping it as a surprise. Or come clean altogether. She should tell him she nevet taught about it. There are things you just skip. I don't know if I was the one how I would feel.
ReplyDeletePoster 2..tell him to watch his weight biko
ReplyDeleteN1, God dey! N2, God dey too.
ReplyDeleteAh make I read comment.
ReplyDeleteAm here to read comments too. Don't even know what to say.
ReplyDeleteTooo dry.
ReplyDeleteBecause its not about husband cheating and beating up wife mumu..when they bring those kind of chronicles now,its still you who will complain
DeleteKk
ReplyDeleteTell him to join u in exercising
ReplyDeleteKk
ReplyDeleteOya o. These 2 chronicles sha. For poster 1, she betrayed the trust of her husband. However, it is not her fault that his family keep making derogatory remarks at her. What is up with all these in-laws sec? Marry your son na......mtchew. Tell hubby the whole story hun and show him how remorseful you are and at the same time how hurt the words of his family hurt you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, sign you both in a gym. He'd see that you really care if you are willing to go along with him and it will help you too in the long-run. Kill 2 birds with a stone.
Please this comment no follow! What if the poster is skinny? I did healthy diet and excercise for 2 months, my BMI dropped and I looked sick! Not everyone is meant to be on a conscious diet, as some of us don't need it. By the time my boobs dried and my mother started almost crying asking me what's wrong, I started eating. And stopped going to the gym. My immune level dropped, I went for my regular check up and Doctor told me I need to eat more that my BMI is low and I'm generally unhealthy. This is me a US4 and UK6-8 I'm 5:5" trying to go on healthy diet and excercise cos of Instagram oppression. She may not be able to go on a heavy diet with him for now. And that may be a problem on its own.
DeleteOn a serious diet with him for now, I meant. Not heavy
DeleteWill be rite back.
ReplyDeleteAh make I read comment.
ReplyDeleteEasy madam coming out of closet. Just tell DH you've been secretly learning his language to surprise him.
ReplyDeletePoster 1-abeg speak your own language to the kids or speak his language to your kids infront of him and his mother let heaven fall ,tell him you understand languages fast and you speak many languages ,abeg let mother inlaw leave your house in peace,if she sees you speaking her dialect she will leave very fast.
ReplyDeletePoster One
ReplyDeleteNo need to "confess" per se. Just engage your mother-in-law in a conversation using their language. Greet her good morning and ask how her night was with a smile beaming on your face. the realization that you understand her language will make her feel embarrassed which should result in a reduction in the derogatory remarks.
Poster two
He's not a baby...and at times the best way to show love to a person might be to say the blunt truth. Bring up alternatives for him to adopt i.e heathy eating, exercise etc. Your dates henceforth shouldnt be to have dinner or watch movies but to hit the gym, or go jogging round the neighbourhood. Visit his house on a saturday morning in sport outfits and encourage him to go jogging. You can also prepare him some healthy meals. The most important thing is to join him in the process. Its a good way to bond too
She should pretend as if she made tremendous effort to learn the language to be able to teach the children to relief mil this way hubby will even be proud of her.
ReplyDeleteComments mood....sensitive narrative
ReplyDeleteNa to read comments o
ReplyDeletePoster 1... let ur friend tell her hubby she leant the language from him or his mum. If na ms sha oooo one day if she talk about me finish, I go reply her there and then and cat walk away. Poster 2, it's not a big deal....tell him you want him to look cool and trimmed 4 his wedding and u also wanna trim. So guys can start dieting. While ur both at it, you eat what u can and achieve ur aim...
ReplyDeletePoster 1 tell ur friend to come out of er closet,she should let d hubby know she understands his language though she has pretended for a long time but no time is late,poster 2 politely tell him u guy ll start morning exercise,also tell him he ll look so cute on suit if he reduces a bit.
ReplyDeletePoster1, shld just tell the dh that she can now understand his language that the mother shld go. Is it that difficult?
ReplyDeletePoster2, let him know its for the good of his health.
Reading comment today,biko
ReplyDeleteFor 5 yrs ur hubby didn't know that u understand n speak his lang! All of a sudden u want to come out gbam!!! Babe u messed up big time! In another tot, 5yrs is a long time to learn ones lang, so even if u come out, it will be assumed that u learnt in Five yrs!! Come out n bring it on!!
ReplyDeleteAmarachi should pretend to be learning from the mother. And try to prove she's a fast learner.
ReplyDeleteI think i will read comments too. But i like that first narrative jare. Coded things keeps them wondering. The husband will start fidgeting on how much she knows. Hahaha. But on the other hand, he might want to hide his own uneasiness by playing the injured party now. Kini big deal. I will even form sey I picked the language from him and his family, simple. Other onea i no go reveal.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, pretend that u have learnt a lil while ur mil came, from there u are good to go... cos telling ur husband will break him ooo and he will think u have other things u are hiding. more so tell him to be teaching u his language too.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, tell him to exercise himself.. tell him what n what not to eat. Fat people are had to take care of when they are getting old oooo.. cos I know what am talking about oooo..... am still dealing with my mom health as she's fat...
...hohohohoho
poster 1: Let her act like she just started learning the language and cant hear it frequently and with time her husband will think she is a genius who just learnt fast.
ReplyDeleteposter 2: Just talk to him and express your concern, if he really loves you, he is going to adjust but dnt make him feel so bad about himself. Encourage him and let him see reason in what you are saying.
All the best dear.
Poster 1: Your friend can tell her husband she now understood the language with the little time mama have spent, that she has ear for picking languages fast and she start the speaking to convince him and MIL should be back to her place. Lobatan.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You want to spend the rest of your life with him so start learning how to communicate with him. Tell what you feel now.
@ second poster i was once in your shoes.Try to reason with him on the health implications . Assure him of your love. Tell him you love him for who he is and the same love is what is pushing you to discuss it
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Tell him you got someone to teach you the language. You can start by saying some words n gradually make sentences. Don't disclose that you had previous knowledge of his language.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Tell him you registered at a gym and that he can come along with you.. Gradually he will see the need to shed some fat.
Poster one: She should have opened up to her husband early enough. If only the husband knew that she could speak his language, they wouldn't have been need for his mother to come live with them. Now she is seeing the effect of her being secretive, why is she complaining. Certain things like this are not supposed to be hidden at all. I will advice her to open up to her husband as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteposter two:You said you both are in love, so talk to him about it with love. make him understand the health benefits of loosing weight.
Please oh i'm dating a bini guy and i want to learn the language..who wee teach me abeg i'm also a very fast learner
ReplyDeleteTerrible tribe,
DeleteI hate d language n tribe so much
Stella no dey chop my comment,if hungry dey catch u go eat
ReplyDeleteBiko i cant date a fat man except his extremely loaded. I dated one a couple of yrs ago, very loaded, lived in VGC. he was very good to me, bout me everythn i asked for. But the sex wasnt too good. When we had sex his tummy would get in the way. D sex wasnt even that regular, i wld almost be begging him for sex. We dated for 1yr and maybe we had sex not more than 10times. I knew in my heart i didnt love him. I once even gave me his framed pic to put in my room, my dear i wasnt even proud to put it up.
ReplyDeleteNow im dating a very skinny guy who wants to even kill me with sex sef.
POSTER, if you really love this guy overlook his fatness, when you guys get married start going on walk/joggs with him. Cook healthy food, the key is doing it together with him so it doesnt look like u are forcing him. Its a gradual thing, once he sees you gettn up in the morning to walk or jogg, he will like to follow you and you guys can bond. After that reward him with love making. Never ever come out and say he needs to loose weight, just tell him you have decided you will like to keep healthy and he shld pls join you. If you dont like beans for instance and you dont eat it, and you are forcing a child to eat it, what sense does it make. Start a diet/excercise program yourself and encourage him to join you.
Please this comment no follow! What if the poster is skinny? I did healthy diet and excercise for 2 months, my BMI dropped and I looked sick! Not everyone is meant to be on a conscious diet, as some of us don't need it. By the time my boobs dried and my mother started almost crying asking me what's wrong, I started eating. My immune level dropped, I went for my regular check up and Doctor told me I need to eat more that my BMI is low. This is me a US4 and UK6-8 I'm 5:5" trying to go on healthy diet cos of Instagram oppression. She may not be able to go on a diet with him for now. And that may be a problem on its own.
DeletePoster one,
ReplyDeleteI know you are the one experiencing this because you don't want us to cuss you out. Your friend na disable wey she no fit talk her story herself?
Just start speaking the language gradually with all those ones that are easy. Then, in a month's time, you start speaking the deep ones gradually that is the only way out oh! If you go open up immediately, your marriage is over especially when na Igbo man. You go give am him pikin pack commot from him house.
I hate people with such behaviour I swear.
Poster two,
Tell him how you feel about his weight. No dey fear jor. I don't hide my mouth maybe that's why people don't really like me. I don't pet truth/ my words. I go talk am as e be. (pigin sweet to speak jor... Dey should just make it our official language.)
If he doesn't like it, please leave him alone and follow who body sweet you to follow.
See Y'all on Monday
PEACEFUL AND ENCOURAGING WIFE.....
Poster one,
ReplyDeleteI know you are the one experiencing this because you don't want us to cuss you out. Your friend na disable wey she no fit talk her story herself?
Just start speaking the language gradually with all those ones that are easy. Then, in a month's time, you start speaking the deep ones gradually that is the only way out oh! If you go open up immediately, your marriage is over especially when na Igbo man. You go give am him pikin pack commot from him house.
I hate people with such behaviour I swear.
Poster two,
Tell him how you feel about his weight. No dey fear jor. I don't hide my mouth maybe that's why people don't really like me. I don't pet truth/ my words. I go talk am as e be. (pigin sweet to speak jor... Dey should just make it our official language.)
If he doesn't like it, please leave him alone and follow who body sweet you to follow.
See Y'all on Monday
PEACEFUL AND ENCOURAGING WIFE.....
We don hear!
DeleteHaba!
Seriously@poster one
ReplyDeleteYou never let a single sentence of that dialect escape your mouth or your countenance never changed after hearing something horrible about yourself.
Wow, Either you are a dangerous actress
Or this is a lie!
Hmm 5 years and you kept quiet about the language stuff..?? How would she have felt if her husband was keep in something from her for that long?!
ReplyDeletePoster2 -just tell him
We don hear!
DeleteHaba!
Sori,d msg was not for u
DeleteMy advice is to watch for wen she will insult u den u reply her with the language by telling her u understand d language. Don't be rude tho.
ReplyDeleteposter one
ReplyDeleteIt will be nice to just 'burst the bubble' suddenly when some of his family members are present. wish i could be there to see the look on their faces. Hehehe
poster two
Tell him about it. keep scolding him until he changes. Hain! Orobo👎
@xxxTrintyxxx Some of us like mischief you know 😛
ReplyDeletei could do same for the fun of it
i dont agree with the advise most of you are giving o. If i were to be Amaka, i will keep pretending not to understand their language so i can keep knowing what my husband's people's honest opinion about me is. But if she makes it obvious that she understands, her in-laws will no longer be talking freely in her presence. That way, she (Amaka) can easily be deceived.
ReplyDeleteLet her pretend to follow her kids and be learning the language from her mother-in-law
She try sha. I dont think i can hide that for so long. If her hubby should ever find out, it can cause trouble because he will begin to suspect that she has more secrets
Good one! You have a point
DeleteShe should innocently ask her husband what is the meaning of those derogatory words saying she heard her mother in law say them. Whatever response she gets, she should confront the husband later that someone told her the true meaning. That way, she would not admit she knew all along.
ReplyDelete