Ingratitude.

''I'm writing based on personal experiences and also to admonish people to desist from this unruly behaviour because they make it difficult for those with genuine problems to get help. I'm one of those that like to carry people's matter on my head like gala seller.

TAKE A SEAT,WE NEED TO TALK!

 If someone has a problem and I hear of it..hmmmm. I won't rest till I find a solution. Even my husband when he hears of certain people's problems he tries to hide it from me because I worry unnecessarily . 

But I've come to discover that people are taking advantage of that and I have decided to toughen up and I'm a happier person now because I have been scammed severally of my hard earned money. Story for another day.

I get all sorts of calls from people at all times of the day. Since I stopped helping most of themnow you'd be amazed at how quickly people throw your good deeds under the rug. I helped someone that has been bugging me get a job to reduce the burden of providing for him. Now he lost his father and he has been bugging my life. I'm almost forced to ask him if I killed his father.

 If you don't have money for burial by all means buy coffin and quietly lower the deceased to the grave. Because I refused to answer him the last time he saw me he acted like he didn't and even when others were greeting me he didn't. 

Then there's the one that called me that her kids are going to school and she hasn't bought them new school bags since it's a new session.

 I calmly told her to wash their old bags. I did the same for my kids. She ended up telling me to stop being stingy. This is someone that since the day I knew her she has never given me N10 yet I borrow her money all the time and she has never for once paid back. Thank God Stella for your blog visitors that taught me never to lend out an amount I can't afford to lose.

Please for pete's sake once you're an adult have it in mind that you're your own responsibility. You're not the responsibility of your pastor, nor your family. Stop this habit of self entitlement. Just because you know someone that seems richer or better off to do than you does not make you the person's responsibility. Some of us wear our problems like stilleto. You never see us wince in pains. 

All you see is the beauty of the shoes. Sometimes I wonder how these men of God cope. People burden them with so much issues ranging from financial to marital and family problems. Have you stopped for once to think of how your Pastor or religious leader copes? Don't you think he also has problems of his own? Have you even taken time out to pray for them?

What about those seeking for employment? When they come for interview that's the only time they're on their best behaviour. Once they land the job you'd begin to wonder if this person passed through the four walls of a university . Most Nigerian employees have the worst work attitude. 

Ask most enterprenuers in this country.They make it seem like they are doing their employer a favour by showing up for work. When I see how some people treat their employees I'm always an advocate for better conditions but Stella I've been bitten uncountable number of times that is making me lose hope in this our generation and their get rich quick scheme. 

You want to ball like Davido and whiz kid. Do you think success landed on their laps overnight? 

Don't blame people when they don't help it's because of the bad eggs they come across . I can give so many instances. There is certainly no form of loyalty from Nigerian employees to the companies they work for. You can imagine your staff diverting jobs for your company to your competitor because that one offered to pay a better commission.

 And at the end of the month he'd expect you to pay his salary. 

I once took in a girl and a guy under my wings out of sympathy. The girl was with me for 5 years. She grew from an apprentice to a full staff. At that time she didn't even have a Waec certificate. Her last salary was 40k. There was so much misbehaviour from her department though she wasn't the head. I got angry one day and locked their office. 

They show up late for work, they close at anytime they want without even signing out. So I shut down the department and decided to outsource. She called me that night and you'd think she'd be apologetic for misbehaving. I asked why she called and she said she called to ask when I'd pay her salary.

As for the guy. I trained him for a year. Even as a trainee he was paid a monthly salary because his story was his parents could not even afford to feed him let alone further his education. My senior staff complained but I had empathy. 

I needed to take him off the streets. Even when he resumed I made him report to me directly to prevent them from bullying him. I made sure he got all the support and tutoring to make him stand on his own. This boy told me a story recently about how his family is moving back to the village because they cannot afford to pay rent anymore. I felt really sad that day. I asked him if he could stay back so I'd try and get alternative accommodation for him with one of the staff. He insisted he had to leave. I prayed for him and wished him well. Only for me to hear he got a job elsewhere. He lied to his current employers that he has 3 years experience in his field. 

Someone that just finished apprenticeship. Nigerian entrepreneurs stop listening to the sob stories of these people. They come making their former employer look like the boss from hell. Before I employ now I always ask for reference from previous employer. As soon as people know that to get the next job they need to behave properly in their present employment they'd behave better.

What about the ones that get giveaways here on this blog. How many of them come back to say thank you? I can bet is the same attitude we have towards God. Everytime you keep asking and praying to God to provide certain needs. 

Think of it. Have you thanked him for the previous one? I tell you gratitude might just be the fragrance that will make your request sweet smelling. Stop asking now and start praising and thanking God even for the ones you haven't received. And by all means drop the attitude of forgetting past good deeds because you didn't get what you're currently asking for. I await your testimonies.

Finally, because you have God in your life does not mean that you're in a boat without storms but you're in a boat that no storm can sink.

BV Sweet Mother