HIAN!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROTHER IN LAW BROUHAHA
Dear Aunty Stella,
Hope you're doing great...first of all I want to commend the great job you do with your blog.
Am an ardent reader of the blog, a day doesn't pass by without me opening your blog,the best part for me are always the chronicles.
Please my 6 months old marriage is on fire,thanks to the brother in law.
We got married 6 months ago and I can count how many times hubby and I had a disagreement, like we always come around our misunderstandings,my brother in law just started leaving with us,and it's been hellish,from one quarrel to another,from one thing I did or didn't do,said or didn't say to another,hubby has just changed, he now easily sees offences!
Things he normally wouldnt do,he does them now,things he normally does,he has stopped!
So many things,i don't even want to bore you or bVs with details.
I don't know what to do...something happened last night ,my brother in law normally would have his meals,and not wash off his dishes,cos he returns late and by the time he returns,i would have cleaned up and cleared up (am a very tidy person),he sees this tidiness,eats and drops his plate,in the morning when he has breakfast,he leaves the dishes in the kitchen,(this is a kitchen where everything is cleaned up)
Last night,something happened and I brought it to my hubby's notice,and my husband told me to pack out of the house if I feel I don't want his brother staying there.
On my part,i try my best to love this bro of his,and avoid any issues or anything that would lead to it
I am confused,cos I don't understand this one o!...
Please has anyone been in this bro in law brouhaha before?...I am loosing it here o!...don't know what to do or how to handle it or what's making my husband always on the defensive for his bro,for nothing and always find me the offensive one!
How do i rectify whats going on?what do i do?
Thanks everyone.
I am sorry i have never been in this kind of situation.There are some men who would disown family for spouse and some Vice versa-Let me read comments and learn.
I pray your marriage survives this storm In Jesus name!
Chronicles…..
ReplyDeleteBabe,ignore him and don't report him 2 ur hubby ever again,do ur chores n be prayerful.or drop his name with ur spiritual mother and watch him race out of d house......
DeleteSeriously?? So you can't wash two extra plates in a day? Because he can't use more than two one in the morning and one in the night. Why is it women who are not even working make everything a big deal? You didn't mention any kids o. Just you your hubby and your in law. And plate is now your major problem. For your hubby to answer you in that manner that means he has already seen you cannot stand his family members. Please be wise abeg washing two plates will never kill you but the drama that ensues from these two plates can ultimately lead to you having a broken marriage. And get busy abeg, an idle mind is the devils workshop. You haven't seen anything to complain about at all, hence your mind is giving you some trivial stuff to complain about.
DeletePoster, your brother in law has to go. In more than one instance I have seen how family members live with couples and spoil their marriages either by their presence or interference. You start having probleims in trivial matters. Talk with your husband and let him see how your conflict multiplied with the presence of his brother. I pray he understands you and finds an alternative shelter for his sibling.
DeleteRead my take on happily ever after by clicking below:
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER
You sure say no be the gay partner
DeleteMy dear poster, I dint see you stating that yur're working. If not? get a job or get busy....believe me you won't notice your brother-'out'-law exists. I tell ya. Keep busy channel your mind to something else and set boundaries. If your guys a bouyant enough get him an apartment.
DeleteMadam u now relax. It's barely 1year and all this wahala. Pls is dis brother inlaw of urs his elder bro or younger bro? If he's his elderthen I suggest ur hubby find him a place plus u shouldn't complain of him leaving dishes cos same tin ur hubby will do n u will gladly tidy it.
DeleteIf he's his younger n still well older than u then do d dishes as well e comot noting from ur body. If he's just a boy then talk 2 him about it rather than nag hubby all around cos of domestic issues. Hubby should b brought in only when he refused 2 adhere 2 ur warnings.
Sorry 2 say but if u knew u couldn't cope u shouldve stopped ur husband from allowing him in. Btw, Hope ure not a NAG?
Pls how can I know my husband to b is a virgin?
DeleteAre u older than your brother in law? If u are then u have to sit him down and talk to him. Not in a harsh way. In a way even d devil will be calm. Dont pick offence during this heart to heart talk no matter what he says. Tell him d things u feel he does that u dont like. Try even if its hard to get him to understand so u can enjoy ur home. Just swallow ur pride and do this no matter how hard. If u guys start talking well n smiling, ur husband's attitude will change towards. Just seize complaining to ur husband about anything for now. Also pray. If ur brother in law is older than u, nne please do the dishes and act like u dont even see them no matter how painful. If he sees u dont complain or give him attitude, he might surprise u one day and do them himself. The main thing is = STOP COMPLAINING FOR NOW. KEEP UR KITCHEN CLEAN AND ACT LIKE U DONT EVEN NOTICE. God help u and keep your marriage.
DeleteMadam am also a neat person, don't like things out of place. But when I noticed same thing your brother in law was doing in my house, I joined the flow oh. We all eat and drop, I refused to clean up the house. When all the utensils are dirty I eat out before going home. Nobody told them hussy and his brother to adjust. That's after I had spoken begged cursed but nothing happened. When we all decided to live in the piggery change came about. Your marriage is to young to have someone living with you pls.
DeleteWe some 20 years old men and 50 years old boy! Ur husband is still a boy... Is conception difficult for u? Cos he is frustrated. If I can hv his contact I will counsel him.
DeleteKrix via iPhone 6 gold
Na so una dey talk. If he were ur brother won't u accept him as he is?! Are u perfect?
DeleteJesus fix it!!!
ReplyDelete*********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS**********
Madam if u can complain over washing of dishes,i wonder others,calm down,i hate pple who calculate someone's every movement,,haba! Tolerant him,show him more luv and stop complaining,stop counting his mistake madam, only then u will see d difference,ma 10kobo.
Delete*****LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS******
Hian! Jesus fix this biko.
DeletePamscrib.blogspot.com
"Jesus the fixer" aunt. Ke kwanu
DeleteWelcome chronicle.
ReplyDeleteJust Negodu.
ReplyDeleteFamily and marriages ish. Not part of it.
DeleteShut up there. What's wrong with doing dishes... Abeg NeXT
DeleteYour husband should marry his brother Na he told you to pack out and you're still there writing chronicle. Okay
ReplyDeleteU can't even write well how can u advice
DeleteMarriage these days.. Hmm!!!
ReplyDeleteSISI
ISIS?
DeleteCHRONS OF LYF...TOMJERRYSWIT
ReplyDeleteJesus fix it
ReplyDeleteame town with us, she visits and am cool with that in fact she is my friend but the problem is that she takes things without even telling me I know if I tell Hu bby he will scold her but I don't want that, I want peace.
DeleteThis woman will visit and pack all my foodstuffs without even telling me. So to avoid being angry with her when she calls to ask if I am home I will tell her NO so she won't come at all. ..Wash plates and avoid problem biko
Brother in law would eat and drop plate because his brother married a maid abi. Well I am not married so I don't know if its normal.
ReplyDeleteThere re sometin a woman especially a wife shouldn't complain about. If d guy in question is her own elder bro will she go about vexing cos of dish washing? Let's face it most guys ain't good wit domestic works. If na her husband drop plate after she don tidy will she go ask him 2 wash it?
DeleteTess plz u r wrong. So even if it's the elder brother, he should also drop his clothes and wait for her to wash it?
Deletefix it ELEDUMARE!!!
ReplyDeleteWell 6 months into the marriage, you're both still trying to understand each other more. It can take some couple 2yrs to understand each other. Please madam, just see that your brother-in-law as someone who doesn't exist, do your house chores yourself and never report him to your hubby again. Your marriage will not break o
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
10000 likes. Do ur house chores and avoid ur BIL.
DeletePoster,your husband cannot just change like that...
ReplyDeleteYou didn't tell us your own fault...don't tell me you are perfect...
Go and work on your marriage biko and stop complaining about your brother in law...
If you can't wash the dishes,get a househelp...
Hian...
Thank u.
DeleteHaba! So she should get a househelp to wash her BIL's dirty plates?
DeleteWhy get a house help when they don't need one. Her BIL should be responsible and do what is right abeg. Or Maybe he's 15 years older than her.
I concur with you this time around.
DeleteLearn to work on yourself and stop complaining, most of you want to marry and stop your spouse from relating to dir family after marriage.
He can't leave with you forever, what is even wrong in you washing his dish after eating? The brother might even be older than you sef.
Your marriage is still fresh, work on yourself,stop complaining and see if your husband will not come back to his senses.
God bless you. Queen
DeleteI disagree. My own ex was a different person once his family was around. In fact the change was so immediate that it was like a remote control was being used on him. My former BIL was a mad man. A wife beater and serial womaniser who used to try to get my usually calm ex to treat me badly since according to him If not I wld forget who was boss. The funny part was dat for the time he was staying with us neither him or my ex had jobs so I was the one providing. No problems until he came. Till i refused to allow him to sleep with girls in our house nd my ex sided with him. Even now that I am not with.my ex the.guy is still going around talking.about me.
DeleteIf a man can tell you to.leave your.marriage because of this family even if you're in the .wrong which you are not btw I think 6 months should be seen.as courting and you should jejeli find your way cos if they hv dat much negative influence then when real issues come up it will be hell for you.
God bless u o Jare!
DeleteGbam!
DeleteCorrect talk!
DeleteToh when you marry a man who doesn't respect you this happens
ReplyDeleteWhen you pretend and suck up to his family to marry this happens.
When you are totally dependent on a man this happens.
Your husband and his brother don't respect you.
Your husband doesn't regard you as his family. You are just a cleaner and a baby factory to him.
His family sees that hence won't respect you.
Till he respects you this won't stop.
Exactly. If her husband can't stand up for her then no other person would. But asking her to leave the house. . .that is EXTREME.
DeleteEven if u don't depend on him. Even if you guys are ok as soon as his family are around he can change. It's because he is immature and should not be married. He should still be at home sucking his mother's breast
DeleteExactly.
DeleteYour hubby's brother is "leaving" with you guys? Leaving to where? Where is he going to?
ReplyDeleteOr did you mean "living"?
Anyways, if there is money and sense, the rule is to keep external family members as far as possible. They can come for visits, but no sleeping or staying long, in order for see-finish syndrome not to enter.
Your man can have sense easily, but I dunno if there is sufficient money to drive this initiative
Oga na wa for you oh, what kind of an advise is this? Money isn't wisdom at all. She only needs wisdom to handle it. Besides. You need to stop worshipping money. Haba!!
DeleteI thought you just make money and Fuck with no stress
DeleteI had no idea you also spell check you nerdy ass
The watcher
Ur Bil is a pussy nigga
ReplyDeletehow to solve this crisis, put werepe in d water he wanna use to bath early in d morning
henceforth he go dey fear u
Don't tell me U get bad character join ...
DeleteNo be everybody dey live for face2face. Some people have shower or tap running from their bathroom. How do U apply werepe to that???
Lmfao! U just made me remember that soap "face2face" na another way of life for this country....... cause katakata! I miss it mehn
DeleteHmm..Will read comments
ReplyDeleteUr brother inlaw is d monitoring send from ur village to disturb ur home .. stop nagging and turn blind eye to dem. Also be prayerful ... 6months is too young.
ReplyDeleteIndeed! What wack mentality.
Delete
ReplyDeleteMy dear what I will tell u is that. Kindly call ur brothers inlaw and talk to him. Make him see what u don't like about his attitude. U just got married. Ur up bringing is different from ur hubby. What I see as problem they just might not see it. So relax and learn to ignore. If after u speak with ur brothers inlaw he refuse to change den put on the amor of ignore. He won't stay with u for ever. Ur stop talking bad about ur brother inlaw to ur hubby. Ur hubby will tag u bad. I rest my case.
Call ur brother inlaw n ask him to start washing dishes?
DeletePls dis is Africa! As a married woman i wud say if washimg dishes is d problem, biko juz wash d plates for peace sake.
U will hear pple say " never i wont accept it".
No marriage is made in heaven. Some pips get slaps for breakfast n punch for dinner. Abeg dnt be deceived o
Amen Stella...God fix it
ReplyDeleteChineke ekwekela ihe ojo!!!
ReplyDeleteBrother-in-law kwa?
Not even MIL.
But seriously, that your husband is a very insensitive person o,to actually tell you to pack out of his house if you can't tolerate the guy's excesses.
Just six months of marriage, and this?
BIL from hell.
Can't just deal.
I can understand your annoyance as I totally hate disorganisation of any kind, not to talk of stacking dirty dishes,especially ones you didn't use.
Better have a serious talk with your husband , and let him know that your very young marriage, is experiencing unnecessary turbulence.
If he really loves you, he'll call his brother to order or find him somewhere else, if he can't respect his wife.
But then,your husband has to respect you first, before being capable of asking someone else to.
Obviously, he doesn't.
What nonsense.
Please, talk to him and just be calm.
Some in-laws can be very annoying.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Ask her if it's his brother will she complain?.
DeleteVery dicey.
ReplyDeleteBut the bitter truth is that lots of people that go into marriage really don't understand what being married is all about. They don't understand what it is to become one in marriage and not two. So it becomes very difficult to resolve simple issues which shouldn't raise dust.
I really do not know what to advice you, but if what you said is true, then Your hubby is getting it wrong, and such statement from him is just taking it too far.
Your comment will be visible after approval
She's lying my brother
DeleteJust six months and they have started already. My dear, my advice to you is get a househelp to clean after all his mess, pray then stand back and watch. God will intervene in your situation.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I just don't trust thus your story,coz some of u get married and dint want to see any of your husband people then u gt to pick on little things .are u sure u haven't been giving ur bro in law attitude for your hubby to act like this??
ReplyDeleteI won't say anything until I hear the other part of the story from your hubby and his brother
for now u haven't said anything really serous this guy has done to u apart from not washing plate.
Exactly
DeleteGod bless you......
DeleteLol.. This is why i told her in my comment to stop complaining about anything at all for now then do d dishes. Change might come. Also smile and relax no matter how bitter u feel inside that he is around.
DeleteGbam
DeletePoster do you work? if you work, i dont think you will be cleaning the mess your brother in law put down for you. Am sure your brother inlaw senior you if am not mistaken.
ReplyDeleteIt is your house and you must keep it clean, whether brother inlaw or not.
what to do about him, just pray for him. if the prayer is not working, abeg send boys to beat him up, his head go correct.
If you are working i think your husband will not be too harsh on you or may be your complaint is getting on his nerve too much.
sorry for you ooo. God will heal your marraige.
Thank u.
Delete#adonbilivit#
DeletePoster maybe you need to check yourself. Nobody hates a nagging wife, try and be friendly with the brother. I don't like people overstaying their welcome too, but since there is nothing you can do, please learn to leave in peace.
ReplyDeleteSpeak to his brother privately, but be diplomatic about it. Don't go and start shouting or being rude. He can't be so bad na. ...you two can turn out to be best friends.
Another option is to start seducing his bro, wear exposing dresses and be flaunting your body around him when hubby so there, be extremely flirtatious, maybe hubby will notice and send him packing, who knows? Lol this one na joke o, no try am
---Pesticide
U no just get sense
Deletelmfao! Just remembered a scene from #grey's antomy where Christina walked around naked when Burke didnt tell George to leave the house. No be person tell Burke to pursue George. Dont try it o. You might go alongside your BIL or even alone. This is Nigeria.
DeleteNa wa oh. Hope your bro in law doesn't have something he is blackmailing your hubby with? Like maybe he caught him cheating on u the nyt before ur wedding or he owes him money or something like that.
ReplyDeleteYou ddnt say which bro was older?
Ashawo no be evrybody gt past like u
DeleteHold on a minute, u expect ur broda in law to wash hs plate wen hss done eatin? Rily? One plate wudnt kill u! Haba
ReplyDeleteAs in!
DeleteWould you have let him wash his plate himself? Just one plate.
Poster gerrarahia.
Na you dey look for ish where there is none.
Well done o! 'Odi the Cleaner'...can't d broda-in-law wash hs Plate...will washing one plate kill him???? No be him use am chop? Soon now he would want her to flush his 'shit' tooooooo....pls poster 'Want you allow will continue' if u don't wanna wash his plate? Let him wash it!!!!
DeleteThis is why I always advocate for a heart to heart talk b4 wedding.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt had to practically tell her hubby b4 d wedding that she hopes no brother or sis of his would be coming to stay with them and that if d mum visits,that it should just be visitation and not coming to live and that same goes for her dt none of her sibs would come to stay other than visit;they both agreed!
Poster if u had done same with ur husband,u wldnt have found urself in this situation.
See eh,id advice u ignore ur bro in law totally and pretend he doesn't exist.
For all u know,he may have been sent to come cause a rift between u both.
Just IGNORE HIM
Hmmm may Jesus fix it. Bc someone like me that hates dirtiness, if I open my mouth I might break up ur home. Let me just read comment on dis one.
ReplyDeleteℓoℓ... don't open o!
DeleteMadam,learn to not take some things too serious before u use ur hand destroy ur marriage! U sound petty n unhappy with ur inlaw's presence! He's ur hubby blood,so don't expect him to be happy with u and ur attitude towards his brother! Whether u cleaned up or not,wash the damn dishes! If u are in good terms with ur inlaw like u claim,there are better n subtle way of telling him to wash his dishes!
ReplyDeleteNa wa o. Why did you agree for your BIL to live with you in the first place? A relatively new marriage. If he was living with his brother before you got married it's a different thing.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing I hate like eating and leaving dishes for me to clean up oh. And I don't tolerate it. The day my BIL tried it I reported to my DH sharp sharp and he warned him seriously. He's never done it again since then. You should have cautioned him from day one when he started it. I'm sorry I do not know what to say, I've not been in your shoes before. My husband will NEVER choose his family over me. Whatever you choose to do, just apply wisdom.
Ur hubby warned him? *trying to picture it out*
DeleteMrs Gem, ur nw. fat. u luk pregrs
DeleteShup up jor! Lazy woman!!!
ReplyDeleteNag.
Common plate U complain!!! It has nothin to do with being tidy!
If he's 16, U can tell him to go wash!
If he's about 25, u r jus bein plain stupid.
Bad women with bogus character. U will soon tell ur MIL to go do the dishes.
I was outside with a frd days back n one lady was tellin a neighbor that his BIL always play music/blues in the night and they r not wise. I jus SMH in disgust.
Everything bad women must complain.
U r a pig for d rubbish u just sed... Na mother inlaw Dem dey talk about or brother inlaw? Am sure u are like d brother inlaw dats y u expect d wife to be cleaning up his dishes. Dirty tin
DeleteJust negodu!
DeleteSo,only 16 year old boys ought to wash their own plates?
And yes, it has everything to do with being tidy.
Do you know that a dirty kitchen is a bad reflection of the overall home, apart from the fact that dirty dishes attract insects?
* smh *
#WhiteDiamondOut
Just negodu. Na your type dey marry woman turn am to slave. I smh for the woman/women you're currently dating. They don't know what they are in for. Your wife will not only wash your brothers dirty plates, she'll also wash their dirty clothes and stinking boxers and your brothers girlfriends 'derry' pants as well. Namsense!
DeleteEmpty Vessels make the most Sound...Brainless runs in your blood
DeleteYour I.Q is sooooo low, my chickens makes more sense than u!
Six whatever how old are u again? U sound like a wicked person. And the type that will destroy your brother's home when u visit. U think ur brother's wife is your househelp abi.? Your type need my type in your family. Will help u reset your attitude. Wicked somebody!
DeleteMy dear, sorry about your predicament. Ill like to say that though it may seem like the best thing to do( i mean to clear out d dishes after eating) but not with this africanised and egocentric inlaws who xpcts their sisters inlaw to worship the very ground they walk on simply because of marriage. So my two cents will be for u to let him be, u dnt expect ur spouse to do d dishes even if he eats by 11 pm so do d same fr ur bro. Inlaw. Likewise u wont xpct ur mum or dad inlaw to do d dishes or even ur own parents so accord him that respect and keep ur home. By the way, u didnt state if this supposed bro.inlaw is older or younger than yourself. Learn to overlook and stop complaining abt him always to ur hubby. All the best.
ReplyDeleteMadam,
ReplyDeleteYou women are always very selfish.
U all want the man to. chase away all his family members bcos of common toto.
It can never work.
Ode! Who dey talk about Toto? How is she selfish? U sef follow dirty?
DeletePIG, your own no pass toto this toto dat...
DeleteWomen and washing dishes. How many do ur biL uses each time - two at most - wash it with joy. He may not b use to washing dishes afta meals from his parents house.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIt is fixed
6 months?! Your husband's got no chill whatsoever. You guys should just talk and smoothen things out biko. It's too early to "pack out". Peace.
ReplyDeleteLook woman stop been petty, ignore your brother in law and enjoy your marriage. Are you a learner? If he leaves the plate then wash it jare, don't use your hands to destroy your home. Just ignore he and many more relatives that come to your home will eventually leave, take consolation in that.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteYour BIL is an intruder and he knows.
He is a third party to your home with a mission to destroy your marriage all in the name of "blood brother bond"
What i will advice you to do is to be diplomatic. He will keep getting on your nerves just to infuriate you and get you into a row with your hubby.
Try to ignore! Try to overlook. Continue to manage your home despite his excesses.
Difficult yes, but try. He will get his doze in future. Afterall he won't live in your house forever will he?
Don't let him destroy your home.
Come here... big hugs from me to you.
So your that type of person wicked woman wicked wife na ur type husband dey jazz man pursue his family
DeleteHuh! This was exactly my predicament few months back, DH nearly hit me coz of his snitch brother. The guy practically turned our matrimonial home into a brothel bringing different type of girls, those 1s go even dey free dey waka anyhow. My hubby wasnt cautioning him and if I talk na wahala, my dear I just learnt to ignore every o but as the scripture verse that said 'God will fight 4me and I will hold my peace'. Few weeks after, hubby found out some terrible things abt his dear bro, some pple called DH to tell him and show him evidence of how his bro has bn black mailing him in d village wen he calls dem on fone nd how he updates dem abt evry litu thing my hubby does or buy in Lagos. It took him time 2tel me sef but he was so down and felt betrayed, I jst tel am 'ntoi'. Now as I speak, d guy is off our neck as he doesnt live wt us anymore, I no sabi hw he chase am nd I ddnt boda 2 ask. So my dear, just free them, na u gi win last last
DeleteHuh! This was exactly my predicament few months back, DH nearly hit me coz of his snitch brother. The guy practically turned our matrimonial home into a brothel bringing different type of girls, those 1s go even dey free dey waka anyhow. My hubby wasnt cautioning him and if I talk na wahala, my dear I just learnt to ignore every o but as the scripture verse that said 'God will fight 4me and I will hold my peace'. Few weeks after, hubby found out some terrible things abt his dear bro, some pple called DH to tell him and show him evidence of how his bro has bn black mailing him in d village wen he calls dem on fone nd how he updates dem abt evry litu thing my hubby does or buy in Lagos. It took him time 2tel me sef but he was so down and felt betrayed, I jst tel am 'ntoi'. Now as I speak, d guy is off our neck as he doesnt live wt us anymore, I no sabi hw he chase am nd I ddnt boda 2 ask. So my dear, just free them, na u gi win last last
DeleteThat was harsh of him. Pack out ke!
ReplyDeleteI'll say you should endure and tolerate your bro in-law. Things like this won't last forever. Be calm, show love to him and also pray about this.
Sorry, but this story seems heavily one sided. U have refused, by design or accident, to state the thing(s) that happened leading to friction.
ReplyDeleteTill you do, nothing else I can say!
Exactly
DeleteY can't he just stand for you
ReplyDeleteWell you have no option other than to keep calm and let issues lie low for now.
Your hubby has obviously gotten a 24/7 friend in his brother.
Dnt let none issues bother you.
More over pray that you overcome
I dey come back ....But poster wait ooo...why try to patient.
ReplyDeleteSorry Poster, a lot of marriages experience sudden friction at the early stages, triggered by even the slightest of things. I believe ur hubby didn't mean what he said if not you'll be out of the house at the moment. So please don't manic.
ReplyDeleteFor how long would your inlaw be around ? Can u try and put up with the lil things while subtly letting DH know how u feel ? Maybe take him out for a romantic meal and when you guys are back home n relaxed, gently discuss with him with a positive disposition.....don't cry or try inducing him, just state your points in a loving way.
Finally, after your brother in law has left, still watch your hubby cos this might just be him acting up but the presence of your inlaw n the discomfort is obscuring things cos 6months is early and yeah, some marriages experience early friction as both parties adapt to living with each other. Well, you know ur hubby better.....wish you the best in your home.
Li-yon Vls.
why not try to patient
ReplyDeleteMy bro in law has lived with me for 2 whole yrs and some months I mean since the day I got married,and we r fine u know y? Cos I learnt to turn a blind eye often.i pretend I'm not seeing certain things.if u can,get someone to assist u in d house.Let d person b able to cope with the dishes so u can stop getting in hubby's bad books.its not easy loving someone who doesn't love u, so no bother loving.Treat him like u would any other person,since u know u don't want problem with LE BOO just PRETEND like say u no send.
ReplyDeleteJust tell ur bro in law nicely to clean up when hes done. Close eye talk am den lock up.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby is just not nice for him2tel you to pack out, pack out for what now?? Maybe u are exaggerating. ....cos I dont understand.
Stay prayerful too...6months is even too young a home to harbour a 3rd party. God help you
Honestly, u shouldn't have to go thru this.. it's selfish of Urr husband and his brother, u guys re newly weds so thiis period no one should even be living at ur house not even your family, thiiss is the time to strengthen ur love and understand each other.. if ur husband doessnt understand dat, den pray, be patient n be silent, theyy wud read btw the line if they are smart
ReplyDeletei smell nagging here from the poster, i think you shuld over look d fact that he drops dirty plates in d sink since u know hes dat kinda persion. Nobody is perfect madam n if u keep complaining, sorry to say buh ur husband will get tired of ur nagging attitude soon.
ReplyDeleteSorry o...madam, the two boys in that house are products of a chauvinistic society!
ReplyDeleteHell no...I can't stand such!
Probably,he so used 2 d ladies in the house washing d dishes after any meal...
But our women and mothers are the biggest problem we have when it comes 2 negative issues that has 2 do with men...take it or leave it!
Mothers see nothing wrong when only d girls in d house do house chores...all in d name of 'I am grooming her for d future'.
The world will be a better place when mothers make boys in d house do house chores like mopping d house,washing d dishes,cleaning d cooking gas,cooking,scrubbing d bathroom and d list goes on.
Imagine d nonsense ur hubby spewed...u should pack out of d house if u can't take it???
Off 2 medspa!
Word!
DeleteI could kiss this comment.
Chauvinistic is the word.
People be saying it's just one plate.
More reason he should wash it, cos it's just one plate.
Moreover, is not like he keeps it before she does the dishes, cos if not, she won't be complaining.
Obviously, the BIL is younger,cos no self respecting elder brother will come live in his younger brother 's house to constitute a nuisance.
By the way, there's a difference between expressing your grievances and nagging.
* side eyes *
#WhiteDiamondOut
You're the only man that has made sense on this post.
DeleteMs Gemini. You are daft o.so a man would go by the name: Money makes you fuck men. na wa
DeleteErrrm Ms Gemini, I think the poster is female, I mean her blog ID suggests so.
DeleteU are a very unreasonable wife.
ReplyDeleteSo u expect ur brother in law to wash his plates after eating in his bro wife's house.
No be African wife u be?
The major prob here is ur hubby is showing his bro he is the man of the house.
Madam chilaka, u r going about it the wrong.
U didn't mention anytin abt u discussing who stays n who doesn't b4 marriage.
Neida dd u say, the status of ur bro inlaw, weda he is completely dependent on ur hubby.
Don't try n get BTW two siblings, it won't pay u in any way.
U shld even av a gud rapport with ur bro in law as he is a man.
If e dumps plates for u, wash it the following day, dem no dey catch late comer dia.
Be accommodative, relax n enjoy ur young marriage.
And treat ur hubby or stat making him feel like he is the head of d house which he is.
Lastly pray ur bro in law meets his breakthru so e can leave ur house.
Till den endure, its not going to be forever.
And u are a very unreasonable blog visitor... Na slave she be? So becos Na African woman she be Mk she dey wash Hin plates for am. Y not tell her to be cleaning his butts when he don shit finish
DeleteGbam!...
DeleteMy dear sometimes in marriage one needs to be a fool. If you have been discussing this issue with your hubby and it's causing rift, why not wash the plates. As much as it is wrong and annoying to clean up after a grown ass man, just do it for peace to reign. Very soon the guy will start reporting you to ur mum inlaw that you don't like him and want him staying in his brodas house. After sometime they tag you bad wife. If you can afford cleaner/housemaid I wld say get one. When dealing with In-laws wisdom is paramount. If it was ur own brother, I'm sure you will dress him with words. And besides this bro inlaw won't live with you forever, he will get married and leave one day. Just swallow ur pride, washing 1/2 plates won't kill you. You know whose side ur hubby is on this issue, just let it go. Inlaw problem get as he be, I can remember when I started dating my husband and I would go visit him in his sistas house. Next thing I started hearing that the lady said I'm stingy, when I am coming to her house I don't buy anything for her son. I'm just dating your broda 3mths at that point and deyv called me stingy bcos I don't buy sweet or biscuit for your son. I greet you respectfully,I'm friendly to you. What else should I do?
ReplyDeleteYes,you are stingy!...
DeleteWhen going to people's house that has kids,make sure you buy things for them...no matter how small it is...or you give them money to buy what they like even if it's 10 naira...
How old is this brother in-law in question, that would determine if its right complaining if he shld wash his dishes or not, I don't see why taking out or washing dishes should be an issue here, he is ur guest hope u didn't forget that, if he is ur husbands elder bro, u won't expect him to finish eating then pack his dishes no nah, that won't be right, u are not a slave we know, just try and not be complaining of little things that can be over looked, that would Mk ur hubby see u as a nag.
ReplyDeleteI know ur hubby helps u in chores and now his brother is around he wouldn't want to do that, u should know that men re generally proud, he wouldn't want his brother taking the wrong signal home that u have cooked their brother and turned him to a slave. If his stay is short just try and over look things till he goes, unless he is staying permanently then u look for a right time to discuss it with hubby. Good luck
Apart from not washing d plates, is there anything else? Well, seems u don't like d boy living with u guys, cos to me washing of plate is no big deal...
ReplyDeleteMarriage palava everyday... Mother-in- law this, Sister-in-law that, and now Brother-in-law...na wa ooo..
ReplyDeleteI am learning from people's experiences. My father will always tell us not to go and go and be "smeee-smeeee" in marriage. Be good, but also let them know u don't take shit.
I have an aunt whom u can never meet dirty dishes in her kitchen. Wash urs as soon as u'r done, even the look in her eyes will make u comport urself during ur visits. She will always tell us that her kitchen is her office in that house, and u can't be doing anyhow there.
What I'm saying is, thou shalt not tolerate certain things..u will keep swallowing until u explode one day. If a man cannot respect his wife when his family is there, then he has a very big problem & u need wisdom. You should confront him & let his brother know what's obtainable in the house. U both mustn't agree all the time. what's important is, he knows what u mean. Whatever u tolerate from his people won't get any better oo. If anytn vex u , u treat am as e dey hot..It's ur home & urs to mould into anyhw u want it. But, I hope u are financially independent sha? Bcos i wonder y ur husband will be threatening u to pack anytym u voice out.
Some men tho..
All these bros in law that won't find house of their own. I had one too that did similar things, won't wash his plates, comes back late to tell me to put food for him, i also noticed i and hubby quarrel more when hes around. Anyway to cut long story short, God in his divine mercy made hubby ask hm to leave. And it was no fault of mine, just kept telling God if this guy will make my marriage suffer, please whisk him away from this house and God did exactly that. Thank God cos i no fit shout at all.
ReplyDeleteBrother in law or husband go send their part of the story tomorrow. If I wait till friday them no send I'll drop my advice.
DeletePlease madam what is wrong with u?are u not ready to keep quiet?I wonder what is wrong wit our women these days.come ur husbands brother who is obviously older than u is staying with his elder brother and the "new" wife expects him to wash plates after eating?pls listen to urself is it fair?I know ur type won't even do so in ur own brothers house oh being a woman how much more a man.women do u suppose ur husbands or would be husbands have no families? M I L-no,S I L -no baba!
DeleteMy own brother I gave 5yrs never washed plates nor did he tidy the table he ate on until we all grew up.its their life n we all know that.me whenever we go to thevillage during Xmas,as am the wife to the last son,with four elder brothers all married,I turn to all rounder .all the cooking and washing falls back on me.the only the that made me complain the last year was that the other wives where now seeing it as an avenue to insult themselves and not me.
In my candid opinion,poster walk on ur self and attitude n bitterness cos that's the only problem I c u have
Bro in laws&sis in laws always causing problem in someone's marriage.
ReplyDeleteDear poster 4u to b happy in ur marriage means ur bro in law hv 2leave d huz.. nt by force oo buh by prayers..if nt u will nt enjoy ur marriage.it shall b well wit u.
Na wa o. The brother inlaw and his troubles didn't even get to me aswear,but a man threatning his wife with asking her to leave? if you ask me,this is what I think. What kind of a man dares to ask his wife to pack out over a useless issue after 6 months of marriage,you may say he didn't mean it,but out of the abundance of the heart,the mouth speaks,does he think he's doing you a favour by being married to you? Is he a billionaire? The nerve of some men. If your parents or any family member of yours live in the same town. When next he says such,pick a few things,leave for their place,call him and say you're sending a cab for the rest of your stuff. I'm sure he doesn't want his wife to leave. (Except there's something you know,that we don't know) after that,he'll be careful with the words he uses with you. About your bro in law,my sister,ENDURE,this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteThis is serious, but i think your marriage is still too young to start experiencing such.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is that you should endure and try to be friendly with your brother -in- law, after all, he wont stay with you forever. Treat him like you wld treat your father- in -law, wash his dishes, stop complaining, take care of your home and pray silently in your heart that he shld get his own apartment and start his own family so u could have peace in your home.
Million likes, I love ur comment
DeleteAll u need to is to be calm and remain calm. His bro was in d picture befr u, he would always take his side except for pronounced situation..... Be calm.... Try not to count on little things.
ReplyDeleteLiving!!! Living is different from leaving ohhhh. I am sick of seeing these two words mixed up!!
ReplyDeleteThat's your own advise abi...
DeleteMumu!...
Dictionary, how long have you been in d Hospital? U're Sick right?
DeleteMadam Pepe body learn to be patient,I know ur type watin they guy do u?or u don't just want arrd na watin dey for plate wey u dey complain off?hmmmmm na waooo for u moreover u said he goes to work and comes very late.....u re not even happy say him no dey stay house with u 2 4 7
ReplyDeleteOga or Madam wey body no dey pepe, you made zero sense in your comment above.
DeleteIf the inlaw needs a wife, he should find one and stop trying to put asunder to a young couple's marriage.
Your husband doesn't send you. Enjoy being a doormat for his family for the rest of your married life
ReplyDeleteYou're not an accommodating person. ..what's there in washing plates?
ReplyDeleteIts foolish comments like this that makes me suspect that its either you are that kind of brother in law or you are a woman who aims to please even at the detriment of her sanity.
DeleteIf the brother works, he should get his own accommodation. A marriage is between the man and his wife and a brother should never try to put asunder! You don't wear her shoes or know what she has endured and refused to take offence. So please, be smarter in your response henceforth.
Nothing oh my fellow anonymous: U for tell her Mk she dey bathe for am too
DeleteNwaoma and its women like you who push women to be dumb. The only thing this woman mentioned was two dishes. Just two. Will she not wash her own and hubby's dishes again? You and the woman in question lack wisdom abeg. If she isn't always nagging about something inconsequential why would her hubby tell her to pack out??? Think about it
DeletePoster, just manage that ur bro in-law. And ignore all his doings. When he is tired, he will move out.
ReplyDeleteLearn tolerance.
ReplyDeletedear poster, continue to do ur duty as a wife, cook,clean et all.ignore ur hubby's attitude and see his reaction. dont raise ur voice at him, answer him calmly.as for ur broda inlaw let him be too.pls kip praying. all will be well
ReplyDeleteYou have to take it easy o. From your narrative it seems to to like the idea of ur bro inlaw dropping his unwashed dishes for you to wash. Why not show him some love. He might change if you correct him by showing him you don't have issues washing his dishes. Beg u husband so you can gain his love back. Please show more love than u expect to get from people.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry dear. Take it to the Lord in prayer. There is nothing he can't fix.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart this happens in most homes where BIL lives, but you didn't tell us if d guy is older or younger than you, if he's older then you do the dishes for him but if he's younger you jokingly tell him to do his dishes or you do it once in a while. As per d oda things he does, my dear just suck it up. He won't live in your house forever you know. Take care of your home and don't allow the devil in d guise of Your BIL to destroy your home, try and ignore or adjust to accommodate all his bs. Lastly stop reporting everything to your husband its not worth it, some men will only see what they want to see, trust me av been there. A word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteLemme read comments too!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm, u ve to tread carefully my sister. A lot of men xge when dey are with their relatives and sometimes dese relatives come in when ur in laws want to monitor ur home. Look, turn the blind eye to ur brother in law. Wash his plate after him, it won't kill u. Everything that has a beginning has an end. He won't stay forever. If u point faults with his actions, i c ur husband sticking with him and leaving u on ur own. May God give you the patience to over come the situation. Best wishes
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm, u ve to tread carefully my sister. A lot of men xge when dey are with their relatives and sometimes dese relatives come in when ur in laws want to monitor ur home. Look, turn the blind eye to ur brother in law. Wash his plate after him, it won't kill u. Everything that has a beginning has an end. He won't stay forever. If u point faults with his actions, i c ur husband sticking with him and leaving u on ur own. May God give you the patience to over come the situation. Best wishes
ReplyDeleteU people will come here and paint your spouse black.poster from ur write up and my instinct u sound like a nag,u hv nagged out d living day light out of d poor man's life.
ReplyDeleteAunty,
DeleteAre you even married!? And even if you are, who are you to judge her or call her a nag just from reading her story? If you can't give constructive criticism, please scoot! Sheesh!
Bia Linda, is dat how u do too?
DeleteTry and ignore your brother in law.
ReplyDeleteHave I bn in ur situation?yes.twice with bro n sis inlaws.hw did I win,I realised that my hubby will always side his siblings and the more we quarrel,d more she feels she has powers.so I took the powers away by ignoring her presence...I did everything myself..with time she realised she was a nusiance n my hubby began to see her faults n it became hubby versus sister inlaw till she married..my advice,ignore him.wash d plates n assume all duties.do not complain to hubby again.it will backfire on BIL.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, you have to pray him out since your husband is in support of his behaviour. 6 month marrige? You have to pray even if it means praying naked when no one is around and mention his full name to leave you alone or else he would know no peace.
ReplyDeleteMy dear! I'll advice that you stay calm because as it is you don't want to lose your marriage, no be plate? Wash it naaa...... only him one day would change! Apologise to your hubby, show kindness to your inlaw else you would be tagged bad wife, and you never even get belle!!! My dear calm down oh,for your own good!
ReplyDeleteTell your lazy brother - in - law to go and marry his own wife and leave your home for you.
ReplyDeleteBut poster... why should a dirty plate and spoon be a problem to you?
If you cannot wash the plate then hire a cleaner or house help nahh.. no be to they argue or fight. The problem is some people are so idle and have too much energy.
That is why I love myself... as a single girl I already have my cleaner, gardener, wash man and concierge.
I also make this clear to any boyfriend/future husband that I intend to have nannies and also liposuction after childbirth.... maybe even vaginal tightening.
Not tomorrow after marriage I will be expected to clean, cook, wash, childcare and work all at the same time because I no fit.
I see.
DeleteU go soon beg ur mechanic to marry u.
DeleteThat escalated quickly...
DeleteNo be only virginal tightening! Na vaginal closure Mk u do..
DeleteHahahahahahaha@Jojo's comment. That's not nice tho'
DeleteHahahah...@ Jojo mechanic no go sabi liposuction o!
DeleteOh dear...it's no more MIL, na BIL and ur marriage is so young! Sweetheart, just go on doing ur part and keep ur cool since DH is blind to what his brother is doing while we pray dat one day his eyes will be opened to them, okay?
ReplyDeleteCos as it is now, no matter wot u tell him, he may not listen and u may aggravate d already sensitive situation if u persist. (U didn't say whether ur BIL is his elder or younger brother..)
Keep cool and calm and go about ur chores oblivious of BIL's wahala. Pretend u don't even notice. Don't even stir up trouble wd him by confronting him. God sees and He will act on ur behalf. Just give it time.
...mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com...
There's so much u need to know!
sometimes we have to listen to both side of the story. u just told ur husband and he got angry. er u sure that is the way it happened? or there is more to it.
ReplyDeleteU didn't go into details other issues dt causes whahala bt my dear sister am also a married woman like urself try 2 take things easy with ur bro inlaw i guess u are a kind of person dt always complain about any slightest thing . My dear dea is no big deal in u washing d plate at least u are d wife in d house take it cool wt him or maybe u a dt kind dt does not want third part u shld av married d only child my sister to hold ur home be friendly with ur inlaws i rest my case
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you endure?
ReplyDeleteWere you not cleaning and washing everyone plate before he married you?
It is not a big deal, my dear. Clean it up. It is not everything that should cause trouble. Humble yourself.
Sometimes you have to humble yourself just to maintain peace.
XOXO MYSTERY
@Poster, try to talk to him calmly and ask of where and how "he feels" you are not getting it right and above all start praying seriously! may God see u through. We await your positive response soon.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.just b praying for him to leave.try to get him a gf.so he can settle down n leave
ReplyDeletePoster , listen to me: This same thing happened to my elder sister, but in this case it was sister in law. Her hubby always supported his sister and even used to shout down at my sister in front of the sis in Law. My sis was so unhappy and feared her marriage will crash she will always come crying and complaining to our mom. Mind you, my sis is older than the little winch with 4 years o. Imagine how humiliating it was . My mom just gave her one advice and strategy - PRAYER. And she heeded .She woke up at midnight everyday to pray, and commit her marriage into Gods hand because she realized it was more of a spiritual war than Physical. She never even argued with d lil winch again, she would eat , drop her plate, won't raise a finger to do nothing! My sister stomached it all and continued praying. Poster, Exactly two weeks later!, the small winch got a job in another state, far away state.And she moved out . My sister was elated. That was how peace and calm returned to her house again. she had her DH to herself again. He apologized for his earlier behaviors (apparently he didn't want to be seen as a weak husband by his younger sister)) and now they are even more in love than ever. she said it's like the whole thing even made her hubby fall more in love with her . Lol. She dey enjoy her marriage now. So poster you see, God is the answer! Go on your knees, pray! Don't be rude or exchange words with your brother in law. Pretend if u have to, believe it's just a phase and it will pass. Gragra attitude never solved any problem. Take it to God . Good luck
ReplyDeletePoster , listen to me: This same thing happened to my elder sister, but in this case it was sister in law. Her hubby always supported his sister and even used to shout down at my sister in front of the sis in Law. My sis was so unhappy and feared her marriage will crash she will always come crying and complaining to our mom. Mind you, my sis is older than the little winch with 4 years o. Imagine how humiliating it was . My mom just gave her one advice and strategy - PRAYER. And she heeded .She woke up at midnight everyday to pray, and commit her marriage into Gods hand because she realized it was more of a spiritual war than Physical. She never even argued with d lil winch again, she would eat , drop her plate, won't raise a finger to do nothing! My sister stomached it all and continued praying. Poster, Exactly two weeks later!, the small winch got a job in another state, far away state.And she moved out . My sister was elated. That was how peace and calm returned to her house again. she had her DH to herself again. He apologized for his earlier behaviors (apparently he didn't want to be seen as a weak husband by his younger sister)) and now they are even more in love than ever. she said it's like the whole thing even made her hubby fall more in love with her . Lol. She dey enjoy her marriage now. So poster you see, God is the answer! Go on your knees, pray! Don't be rude or exchange words with your brother in law. Pretend if u have to, believe it's just a phase and it will pass. Gragra attitude never solved any problem. Take it to God . Good luck
ReplyDeleteYou too wash plate nd stop yelling like a street dog ,i know some wifes never like seing husby family .sure u've been nagging ur husband all time,so change ur ways an live wit em like 1 family .Stop invoking your trouble spirit learn to live in peace n harmony
ReplyDeletepeace...
V neva gotten married b4 but I feel its nt safe in any marriage whr d spouse takes his fam over everything. Everyone has their own role to play and one shudnt get into d way of another. Dnt knw if dis is a good advice but any marriage wey pikin neva enta can be easily dissolved. Marriage isn't by force! N if u think u knw ur spouse so well, dt sth wrong is prolly happening, u can support him with your prayers! Gdlk
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm, once upon my story. I thank God for his grace.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, Kindly tell your brother in law in a low pleadingly to kindly wash his dishes.
e.g: Bros abeg, help me dey wash your plate when you chop finish. You kuku ma see se I no get maid. Abeg just help me do that one no vex o.
That was my technica.
all the best
*Ayah Shehu #
God bless u my dear. U get sense no be small
DeletePoster sorry,although I am not yet married but I think u r d 1 Dat needs to adjust ur self, u already said it that he comes late n he is a guy not a woman so expect less from him, ur marriage is still young, don't report ur BIL to ur hubby,he would think u don't love his family , just show him love n respect him,Dat was wat my mum did n it worked out fine.
ReplyDeleteI hope they are truly brothers and not some downlows still hiding in the closet
ReplyDeleteWhy will he even attempt to tell you to pack out simply because you brought something to his notice.
May God help your marriage sha
**lululiscious**
Post but I have this question for u, no vex oo, this ur brother in-law is he a grown man? If ur answer is yes how can u expect an adult to be washing dishes he used for u? To me its not proper but if the person in question is under age I see no reason your hubby will be fighting you to an extend of asking you out of the house na. Beside u should know that all this in-laws their matter is always having K-legs, one need wisdom to handle their matter and I pray God gives you one dear.
ReplyDeleteDear Bv some things should rili be ignored. Why not wash the plates for peace. In as much as you don't like it just do it. Moreover its ur house just take it easy nd pray him out. Ur marriage is still very very young for this.
ReplyDeleteYou better calm down. Respect your BIL. He won't live with you forever.
ReplyDeleteIt's well poster! Just continue doing your work...
ReplyDeleteSoon the lazy bro inlaw will leave.
Kindly go for an house help, i just came out from the same boat. No man wants to see his wife treating his brother especially the one they grow up together. More so we Yoruba husband prefer Wify treating our family nice even if u ar pretending. Gd luck.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, I hope you get to read this.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many approaches you can use, spiritual, physical and silence approach. seeing that you hubby is brainless and insensitive, i will say do any of the follwoing :
1. Carry face and pretend like the brohter doesnt exist. ignore your hubby himself.
2. Put purging drugs in ur BIL's food and reduce is food.
3. Wash the dishes and forget about complaints.
4. Pray in whatever way you can
5. Pack out of the house and let family members settle it.
6. Talk to your hubby and tell him to give you some respect if he has any for you.
But if i were you, i will scream once in front of your BIL and hubby about not being a maid in the house and henceforth, I wont say a thing again even if things dont change.
My dear just continue bearing it. Since he has refused to change biko for heavens sake overlook his short coming and focus on saving your marriage before it would end before it started over a mere unwashed plate. Pray for God wisdom. It's well.
ReplyDeleteTufia for this our Nigerian mentality. So it's a sin for a grown man to wash his plate after eating? Is his brother's wife his slave? These comments are just irritating. I blame your mothers for this mess. Tufia
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I taya o! Tort its only me, for her to complain means shez older than the BIL. Can't he wash his own plate? What is wrong if he washes his OWN plate dat he used to EAT!
Deleteit is well with your marriage my dear sister. your marriage is still very young and its up to u to make it work. if ur bro-in law eats and drop plate for u to wash, i dont see the big deal in it. wash it when ever u are doing the dishes. its as simple as that. when you start having children, will your kids wash d plates themselves?. if its just what you mentioned in the chronicle, conquer him with love. turn a blind eye to his attitude. when my inlaws are around, i do more than washing dishes and this applies in almost every home. use wisdom my dear. God will help fix it
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I will be very sincere with you. You are here complaining b/c he is your BIL not your blood bros, or is your BIL quite younger than you?
ReplyDeleteAgain, talking from where I grew up and where I am married to, the women do the dishes. Some BVs have advised you get a house help without asking if you are working/doing any biz. BTW is it your sole decision to get a house help? After just 6 months into your marriage without any issue yet?Just to do dishes? Or are you so busy with work/biz?
Pls ignore your BIL as you would your own elder/immediate younger bros. Do your dishes yourself without nagging.
The only thing I do not like here is when your hubby said you should pack out of his house (just after 6 mts), THAT'S A BIG DISRESPECT.
I am of the school of taught that young couples stay alone for a while and even after years of staying together alone, families/relatives should only visit and not come to live with them. My own opinion anyways....... Mrs. Eunice
For her to have complained that her BIL doesn't wash his plate after each meal means she is older. Common people... the poster isn't stupid to ask her BIL who is older to wash his plate. Some of us are complaining that she is lazy, it's very annoying to see dirty dishes in an already neat and tidy kitchen.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a house where every single soul wash their plate after eating, from father to the smallest being. Don't know why men these days see the smallest chores as the most difficult. Some say she should endure, which is a good thing but for how long? It's just six months into their marriage and BIL dearest is trying to put asunder... why did DH ask you to pack out if you can't cope? How did you both end up marrying?
Hmmm. Dear poster.this your story happen to me too brother in-law wahala... I went t tru hell and back but with God on my side I became a victory....just. Be patient God will see u tru it my advices.
ReplyDeleteIgnore them abi him. It is well
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDeleteJust wash d plates,atleast,he is not sleeping in d same room with u and ur husband.
This is a very delicate time in ur marriage,takes couple 5yrs to stand strong in understanding and loving eachother.
Take things easy and stop complaining and nagging.
U can come between brothers,pls stop reporting ur husband's brother to him,u are worsening things.
Huh! This was exactly my predicament few months back, DH nearly hit me coz of his snitch brother. The guy practically turned our matrimonial home into a brothel bringing different type of girls, those 1s go even dey free dey waka anyhow. My hubby wasnt cautioning him and if I talk na wahala, my dear I just learnt to ignore every o but as the scripture verse that said 'God will fight 4me and I will hold my peace'. Few weeks after, hubby found out some terrible things abt his dear bro, some pple called DH to tell him and show him evidence of how his bro has bn black mailing him in d village wen he calls dem on fone nd how he updates dem abt evry litu thing my hubby does or buy in Lagos. It took him time 2tel me sef but he was so down and felt betrayed, I jst tel am 'ntoi'. Now as I speak, d guy is off our neck as he doesnt live wt us anymore, I no sabi hw he chase am nd I ddnt boda 2 ask. So my dear, just free them, na u gi win last last
ReplyDelete