For some it just never goes in...I dont know why!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
VAGINISMUS AND THE FEAR OF PENETRATION
IS KILLING RELATIONSHIPS
Hi Stella
i know have read about this topic on your blog before Stella, sometimes last year anyway let me go to my story this thing called
'Vaginismus' as i don't even know what to describe it and No i wont wait till i get married before i deal with this thing. so many marriages failed because of this and please i'm not supporting pre marital sex
Vaginismus is real stella
let me give you a brief story about myself, its a bit long but please bear with me
5 years ago, i was 19. i had a serious relationship back then (No sex, i was still a virgin) . one thing led to another, my then boyfriend forcefully had sex with me because he knew i was leaving the country the following week to further my studies in the US .. after that night he had sex with me, he begged me , apologized and everything,i forgave him stella and we still continued dating even while i was in the US. after few weeks i noticed i didn't see period. i went for test.
I was pregnant stella! in a foreign country, no mother, no father, i was all alone in the school hostel . no one to talk to, i pinged my best friend in Nigeria . we were both confused. i was only 19! what will happen to my school? what i came here for? i finally told my boyfriend, he told me to keep the baby. he wasn't even working then how on earth would he cater for us both plus the baby? i was so confused. please guys dont cuss me out because i'm even still asking for forgiveness from GOD.
I went online for abortion clinics. Abortion is legal here and free for student so i aborted the baby. God forgive me . my boyfriend was mad , i told him it was a decision i needed to take. what will happen to my life . this all happened 2010. we finally broke up 2013. issues upon issues.
The first time i had sex in my life i got pregnant so this made me run away from relationship . even if i eventually date , i wont allow you touch me not to talk of have sex with me . one guy i used to see told me i will have issues in my marriage. i rejected it.
So fast forward 5 years later, i was willing to give it all. i have a serious relationship now and i am so ready to have sex again . deep down, i knew i have this 'fear of sex problem' i explained to him. he said we will take it one step at a time. sigh
lest i forget, this is a long distance relationship.he lives in Nigeria, i'm undergoing my masters in the US.
I'm normally in Nigeria yearly or twice in a year. so i came to Nigeria as usual . i was excited like finally i found love again . so the day came, we were ready to do the do
he tried to get in Stella , he couldn't. you wouldn't believe for the period of one month i was in Nigeria. we didn't have sex at all Stella. i wanted to die, like is this what's gonna happen to me during marriage? when i cant even please my fiance. my fiance was patient with me but i could see he was frustrated . he has waited this long for me to come home and i couldn't even satisfy him. before my present fiance. i had a boyfriend i used to date in the US, when he wants to penetrate he just couldn't get in. till i just push him away cos it was hurting real bad. because of this issue, we drifted apart. he wasn't meant for me so i moved on.
i dont wanna lose my fiance because of this issue. Vaginisimus . i went online and made some research. i came across this website 'Vagnisimus.com . i read the stories, i could totally relate. Gbam! i ordered for the dilator set o. it comes in different sizes like 6. i'm still battling with the 2nd dilator to get in. i'm being positive right now so guys please if you've got anything i can use or any advice. Totally welcome
I'm 24 by the way. i dont wanna wait till i'm older before i start dealing with my issues. Vaginismus is real and causing troubles in marriages till tomorrow
i'm so sorry for this long tale
i hope you guys learn from it . Thanks a lot Stella. i love you
OMG sex that is so sweet scares some people?wow!
My dear,i dont know what to tell you,maybe someone who has recovered from this might have useful tips for you.So sorry about your first time experience.
Come to think of it,my first time of having sex was kinda forced,not rape but forced becos i was too afraid...I wasnt pregnant and i survived.
All the best.
I love you too ''B''
Just negodu!!!!
ReplyDelete**********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS**********
No comment.
Deletenawa o. My friend has this issue. Will make sure i send this link to her so she can learn a thing or two.
DeleteNne I understand ur fears, wen I got married I was a virgin and it was difficult for me to hv sex, infact it took my husband 3 days to disvirgin me cos I was really shouting nd refusing it nd he has long dick too it took me 3 weeks b4 I started enjoying sex. Just make up ur mind it's all abt psychological tin dat is ur problem but pls dnt ruin ur marriage oo sex is a beautiful tin
DeleteOk poster...here goes!.....i had the same issues bt the solution is not in those nonsense u r buying! It's simple....Relax! It's all in ur head! Relax...When ur man wants to penetrate...just relax...u'd realise that u become lubricated enough for smooth passage..mind u,u may not get it right the first time bt u will eventually. I was right where u are now for 7years...Relax darl.
DeleteIs well poster
DeleteMtcheew
DeleteYeye chronicle
Penetration ko!
The best and only way to cure this is to get very drunk and then tell ur bf to fuck d hell out of u ... U will b numb and wunt feel a tin by d tome he scatters that pussy, u will beg for more d next time
DeleteJust get very drunk & fuck.it'll be like Lekki expressway.
DeleteI experienced such too.do this:turn ur back towards him while he is sitting in the bed and you are standing.approach him like that and just sit on his long John.but be sure to have done foreplay for like 10 minutes.you are going to be surrisrd at the way he will go in essily.thank me later.
DeleteAnonymous 16:08,u r totally right...I went thru dis too..it took me 3 years before I started enjoying sex..u just need to relax ur mind n stop thinking too much when u want have sex..
Delete...yes u have to relax before anything can happen honestly!since u were successfully disvirgined in the first place,then this problem is secondary and can be dealt with.
Deleteit's psychological dats why need to relax,cos over time u made up ur mind after d abortion dat nothing will pass there' again for fear of pregnancy,so as the days go on,ur body became in tune with ur mind.
Well,also try sex toys on urself or when u are with ur man,it will help u relax!
Aunty Emjay cannever disappoint me. #negodu!
DeleteOh dear it is a psychological thing. Iv been there. My ex thought he was having sex for more dan 1yr before I was finally disvirgined. Bring ur mind back home. Tell urself u like sex, fantasize on d ffns u love. If its ur boobs like me, he should touch it well well. It wont stop in one day o bt with time, u will be hyperactive. Relax dear
DeleteD chronicle is here.
ReplyDeleteHmmM ko easy ooooh #YGNL signing out
Delete........
ReplyDeleteBabe just become a lesbian already what are u stil waiting for hurry up its your last call.
DeleteI like this posters zeal to solve her issue, some people say local herbs work but the problem is to find the real deal. Since u have found a dilator to start with, I hope u have informed your gynae about this process you have started so you can know what else to do. I wish u all the best in your search for a solution.
DeleteWill read comments
ReplyDeleteEya NNE, sorry! But sex is sweet o!
DeleteGo and see a psychologist, we can't help you here
ReplyDeleteI can help her... Which man is not a sexual psychologist? Hmm
DeleteAnother day for BV's to bring their problems.... pls and pls if u dnt find a solution here just tune in to sonymax and watch 1000 ways to die........ am out!
ReplyDeleteStfu!!!
DeleteLmao!
DeleteI love that program a 1000 ways to die.. and wild police videos
DeleteHahahahaha. U r wicked sha
Deleteeeeeeehnnnn
ReplyDeleteIf I hear am
Buy lubricant and drill that mofo mehn
I hate to admit it but I actually agree with you this time.
DeleteI don't understand. But let me read comments 1st.
ReplyDeleteLol!
DeleteSame here...dnt even knw wat to say.
I don't understand either
DeleteSex is a thing of the mind. I think you're scared. Whenever he wants to penetrate just relax and let all your fears go and you will be wet.
DeleteLie no go kill 3 od Una!
DeleteChoi
ReplyDeleteSingle and Mingle yesterday shocked me to the marrow. The number of single ladies looking for life partner is this high. Honestly, our men should be serious with these ladies and be bold to take the bold steps.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, some women demands Na wa. All of them are looking for already made men, while some conditions are so funny to begin to imagine. The man should be this and that, must be tall, must be mobile, must be this and that, must be fair, i no ready suffer and bla bla bla.. My sisters, its not done that way abeg. I understand the situation of e country, everybody wants d good life. But what if the man married you today with so much money in his pockets and tomorrow he goes broke? What happens then?
What about the broke ass guy of today you don't want to give a chance, becoming rich tomorrow? Today, my mother is enjoying my father in a marriage of 30years. When they married in 1985, my papa no get DIME in his pocket. In fact he was still in university about to round up. 15 years after the marriage, he was still trying and struggling to be on his feet. Today she will look back and say God helped her. Things have changed. All their mates then that were after the rich of the early 80's are not rich again. Most of them divorced.
Abeg, my fellow sisters, pray for God to bring the right man to you. Yes, its good to have a taste for tour kind of man, but let it be a reasonable taste and standard. We are in the Ember months, so pls be careful with the kind of taste in men you are looking for. Not all broke ass today will be rich tomorrow and change his character. We still have good and upright men who haven't found their breakthrough.
Just a concerned young man.
Waiting for some insults.
In as much as nobody wants to suffer, you many many strong points.
DeleteNo one knows tomorrow.
That's not for lazy guys or, guys without prospects.
With those ones, you can already tell the future.
#WhiteDiamondOut
No wahala
DeleteSpot onnnnnnn,ur head dey CIA.
DeleteFrom your analysis, it shows you have wisdom, truth be told, the rich guys don't want to get married, why the one's that wanna get married are broke! But many of our ladies have failed to site a promising talent/millionaire/billionaire like arsene wenger...they are mostly looking for made men...may God help us
DeleteOver 1000 contents! I hope they find love .
DeleteOga,go and make money first b4 u marry. Things don change now. We are in the internet age .
DeleteDon't marry without cash and start bringing innocent children in to suffer for nothing. just bcos u wan dey fuck toto every night.
You just made a lot of sense. God bless you for this, I hope our ladies will read and learn.
DeleteTrue talk!
DeleteEncourage ur sis to marry a broke ass guy nah..stop ranting here pls!
DeleteLOL u sure know u"ll get some insults ,but on a more serious note most guys oof today are not worth suffering with once they make it 2mao they'll allow "karashika" take them away............... poster... think more of the pleasure than the pain, like some BVs will suggest watch lots of porn
DeleteLook. My folks married over 35 yrs ago and my dad was in Uni. My mum was barely 21. Today there's nothing they want That they don't have. But my dad graduated with three jobs readily waiting for him with cars (I have mentioned this here before) today it's not the case.
DeleteGraduates won't have a source of income 10 years after graduation. And then if the lady is the working partner, she gets overwhelmed with issues.
Let them be! Let who is looking for rich, be. Let who can marry 'not-rich' be. Stop trying to force ladies not to marry rich guys.
Some guys I know are also looking for Rich girls to marry. In fact, my two brothers keep saying they won't marry until they attain a certain Finacial status because they want to take care of their wives in so-and-so manner. They are both above 30 with good jobs. So let's drop this topic Biko. Cos as much as Ppl keep singing it, we ladies go still dey shine eye and most guys wey get babes wey dey struggle with them will still dump them when they hammer - and vice versa.
All S n M participants, I greet una oh! I wonder how we have such high hopes of being picked out of 1300 comments. Heheh. But all things are possible. Una good luck oh!
You're damn right, man.
DeleteOnly God can lead you to the right choice for your life and they many times those choice don't look or sound lovely.
No insults dear.
DeleteThe criteria fear everybody. It's not about the men taking them serious, it's about Our Ladies setting their priorities right!
One said she wanted one who has enough money to give her, another said she wants one who will take all her financial burdens away.
Is that the essence of love/relationships?
Yes! Some are destined to marry already made guys, the likes of Dabota n Co. Others are not!!! And that's the fact.
If he loves you, if he fears God, if He is honest in His dealings and If He's got prospects then He is a husband material.
Nice1.
DeleteI hope they get some sense from this piece. Go thru the previous snm post, single ladies, single mom's repping always!
Well sometimes I don't blame girls who wants ready made men. My own family story is the direct opposite. My mum met my dad when she was barely 21 and fell in love, he had nothing, well my mum being young and naive and in love saw a bright future and believed in my dad. My dad wanted many children my mum said let's wait till money starts to come but he insisted. Today, over 30years later my dad is doing NOTHING leaving my mum to cater for all five of us, she's the strongest woman and we attended the best private schools to university. Why am I writing this plenty story you'd say? Well this is it. When you pray for a spouse, pray that he/she be the answer to your prayer because it's obvious my mum was the answer to my dad's prayer.
DeleteForget all this marry a struggling man if you see that his struggle will not yield better fruit carry you leg jejeli go another place. Also work hard to have something to your name and don't rely totally on your spouse and always put God first. Above all fall in love with your brain intact. Amen!
Guy... dem no born the person well wey wan insult you here... I standa gidigba for your back o. I owe you 2 bottles of Heineken.
DeleteGbamest from Gifted Hands. Girls be carrying their poverty everywhere since 19 teba. Their mates are busy making money.
DeleteWell said Mercy....
DeleteWhat annoy me most is the phrase ' God fearing man', if I may ask are they God fearing too? revivedolugbenga.blogspot.com
DeleteNa wah oh...
ReplyDeleteWhich kain chronicles be this?...
Hian!...
Abeg I don waka...
Linda who no sabi say u be strong mumu before......ode
DeleteOh wow. ..
ReplyDeleteHuhuhuhuhuhuhu...vaginismus...thankGod the thing dey enter fiaaaaaaa.....G..pharm in answer to ur question...hahahahahaa yes...
ReplyDelete@BlackBerry.... Looooooooool @the thing de enter fiaaaaaaam.
DeleteI done laugh scatter for floor.. "fiam"...
DeleteBlackberry ure a clown. Lol.....
DeleteLol funny
DeleteSorry dear. You'll get over it. Maybe your boo can start with one finger @ a time. But foreplay must come first so you can be well lubricated. He needs to be patient, you need to relax. Patapata buy lubricant.
ReplyDeleteReal issues! All d best to u and ur dilator set.
ReplyDeleteI think dis suppose to be in doctor post? @poster just relax and see d way Somepeople will jump over Ur question and start questioning and judging u because u had sex.
ReplyDeleteThank God u notice dis very early.I pray u find help.
ehen
ReplyDelete#GODWIN™
Oh n don't come back in a few years to complain about wideness ooo
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha. Just expressing my feelings on this ur comment. This one really got me rolling. Thanks for making my day less boring
DeleteHave u heard of ky jelly? Rub it on ur patner's sth before penetration. It might help.
ReplyDeleteWork on ur psych, u need to get rid of that fear. Watch porn n get "turned on", very important sth. U need to juice up girl!
I so love dt ky jelly....
DeleteAunty gwegwegwe
DeleteMy dear, try to relax when doing the do. Take a glass of wine first and let it happen naturally but keep trying the thing you bought sha. Don't know nothing. For me na fear been de worry me sha.
ReplyDeletePoster it is well. Continue using your dildo. it will do you good.
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteThe first time, ur bf gbensh ur Toto. ur didn't have dis issue.It should not be an issue now.
U never do it with a sensual lover,an expert lover. Some one that can make ur Toto to release multiple times b4 the actual pounding.
U ve been gbenshing amateur lovers.
U need a real man,a champion lover.
Buhahahahahahhahahaaha
DeleteAhn ahn.. see descriptions. .
DeleteMoney maker u b fool o, lol abeg go one side jor. Hahahahah
DeleteStella please comments like this are offensive. Look into it.
DeleteAnon bitter bitch..How is dis comment offensive? Take ur frustration elsewhere.
DeleteDis is also happening to me and just got married few months ago....sex has always been a punishment to me,but I do it to satisfy my partner. I am 33 years and disvirgined wen I was 23yrs....av been aving sex for 10 years but av never gotten orgasm b4.
DeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteThe first time, ur bf gbensh ur Toto. ur didn't have dis issue.It should not be an issue now.
U never do it with a sensual lover,an expert lover. Some one that can make ur Toto to release multiple times b4 the actual pounding.
U ve been gbenshing amateur lovers.
U need a real man,a champion lover.
As stupid as ur comments sounds I tink ur rty,if d first guy culd enter well,den its a mind tyn,am still a V so pls dnt preach bout it,u weren't ready wen u had sex,so deal wit ur mind n u nid a patient guy
DeleteU so razz,read d nonsense u wrote again"somone that can make your Toto realse multiple times b4 the actual pounding"
DeleteEWU! Who is ur unfortunate GF . All ye noise makers end up being 2minutes noodles
DeleteLooooooool... instant noodles... hahahahaha
DeleteSuddenly almost all bvs have become virgins again today. Una well done o, after all no be me go do una but I know say some of you claiming virgins here, if man try to enter na slip e go just slip dey look for who go hold hin leg. You ppl should just go and sit down with your virgins stories. The only story I believe here today is the poster's.
DeleteNa wa. oooo...just passing by though
ReplyDeleteEyaa. Are u sure it's not psychological problem. Fear of penetration might actually be d reason it's not entering. I feel ur pains sha. I thank God am enjoying my sex life. Go for proper checkup though. God will see u through.
ReplyDeleteEyaa. Are u sure it's not psychological problem. Fear of penetration might actually be d reason it's not entering. I feel ur pains sha. I thank God am enjoying my sex life. Go for proper checkup though. God will see u through.
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh....
ReplyDeleteNa was oh, pre_marital sex now looks like a normal thing that people hardly frown at.God is still God,he has not changed at all.You want to please a man by him him your body?the temple of God?how about pleasing God?
ReplyDeleteHian!
ReplyDeleteNo be small thing o
Those well versed in sex ngwanu.
* descends podium *
#WhiteDiamondOut
Look for a female to lick your toto first it helps
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha...
DeleteAbi?...
Nkea atoo mu extra...
Lol
ReplyDeleteMy first time of having sex resulted into pregnancy, just like yours. I was about gaining admission and he told me to keep it. I did but he didn't stay to see the baby. Today I thank my God for giving me the strength and courage to take that step
ReplyDeleteIts a plus for me, forever. As per the vaginismus, I heard about it on this blog too. I have no idea how to deal with it or treat it.
Who ask u? All dis ur sob stories and fake life on dis blog won't help u. Aunty gwegs like u forming wat u r not. If u r not concocting fish head story, u are sending mails to hype urself, nonsense
Delete@stella,sex is sweet u say?
ReplyDeleteAbegi sex is highly overrated.
It's just few men that knows how to truly satisfy a lady and trust me it has nothing to do with d size of d dick.
I no even like big dick sef...d moderate d better o jare
Back to u @poster.
Ofcourse u should still be experiencing difficulties when being penetrated upon.
U had sex just once,though ur no longer a virgin bt den u haven't fully been disvirgined. It would take a while wv lotsa sex,lets say about 5th time b4 ud be fully disvirgined.
Meanwhile U DONT HAVE VAGINISMUS. If u did,trust me even d 1st set of d vibrator wouldn't have entered and u would have screamed ur lungs out cos of pain
All u need is a gud lubricant,a normal sizable dick and no condoms to do d trick. Take ur mind off d pain and tell d dude to be gentle.
He shouldn't just try forcing everytng in,it should be staged,d tip,den d cap- den d body halfway and den d whole thingy.
Lest i forget FOREPLAY is important,so as to get u wet and ur vag muscles relaxed.
If it still doesn't work,den go 2d hospital 4dem to help u out manually
Goodluck
Help out manually kwa?? The 1 u mentioned na automatic??
DeleteHelp out manually kwa?? The 1 u mentioned na automatic??
DeleteHian! Without condom ke. You people on this blog will see fire and tell someone to put hand inside. Na wa. Poster leave sex till you marry. May God heal your hurt.
DeleteGet a lubricant and relax. You're too anxious . Anxiety kills the mood for both parties. A lot of foreplay will go a long way to help.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your condition,dear poster.
ReplyDeleteEvery problem has a cause and a solution. I think u need to work on your mind. Psychotherapy would help. U may even need to use anxiolytics to ease ur anxiety.
It's your pelvic floor muscles that go into spasm.learn to exercise that area and be in control with Kegel exercise. Look it up
Finally,those dilators may be of minimal help because aim isn't to stretch your vaginal opening( the vagina is elastic considering that it can birth a child).But aim is to assist u gain control over ur pelvic floor muscle. So next time u are using a dilator,assume that it's a penis thrusting in and out. That way ur mind can get full control over ur pelvic muscles and they won't contract involuntarily.
The things we take for granted! Form today when I offer thank to my God am going to silently thank Him for make it possible for me to have sweet and easy penetartion with my DH. Hope u find solution to ur prob soon.
ReplyDeleteU ll be fine. U re scared u got pregnant d 1st time u had sex. Nd den d abortion. Let it happen naturally.
ReplyDeleteLemme read comments
ReplyDeleteI seriously believe this is lady Buchi,remember her comment one time like that,might be wrong tho
ReplyDeleteMay God heal you.
The problem may be that you are tightening the muscles in your vagina because of the fear you already have. It's a bit psychological (i know this because I have been there) you have to deal with the fear first. Stop 'chooking' those devices into your body. Tell your man what's going on with you. Foreplay is necessary for you. Let him help you relax and penetration should be done gently. He should focus on helping you through your fear and not just satisfying his orgasm. At first it takes some work but with time you will overcome it. I will not relent to advice you to get married first and stop worrying about sex for now but children of nowadays una no dey hear. When you do things in the right way prescribed by God then you can seek His help in making those things easier for you.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, sorry for your condition, have you tries lubricants? I can attest to it, and lube (oil-based like petroleum jelly) does wonder for me. Pls try lube if you have not.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I have this infor from Web MD and I hope it helps.
Women with vaginismus can do exercises, in the privacy of their own home, to learn to control and relax the muscles around the vagina.
The approach is called progressive desensitization, and the idea is to get comfortable with insertion.
First, do Kegel exercises (http://www.webmd.com/women/tc/kegel-exercises-topic-overview) by squeezing the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating:
Squeeze the muscles.
Hold for 2 seconds.
Relax the muscles.
Do about 20 Kegels at a time. You can do them as many times a day as you want to.
After a few days, insert one finger, up to about the first knuckle joint, inside the vagina while doing the exercises. It's a good idea to clip your fingernails first and use a lubricating jelly. Or do the exercises in a bathtub, where water is a natural lubricant.
Start with one finger and work your way up to three. You'll feel the vagina's muscles contracting around your finger, and you can always take your finger out if you're not comfortable.
NB: Pls take care in using dilators,you may have these challenges (1) tilting it the wrong direction (2) your muscles may contract without you realizing (3) your vagina gets slightly narrower there and you're afraid. I never used Kegels/dilators, but i have friends that did.
BTW d vagina is made to accept things inside - it is elastic. All d best ....Mrs. E
Gash! Nobody to advice this girl not to fornicate ni?
ReplyDeleteYou wanna get preggers again? Abi after sleeping with this guy, if he dumps you, will you go and sleep with the next guy? And be sharing you vjj for free? So you are so confident to come and anounce to the world that you wanna get freaky? My dear, getting in takes time sometimes, in my case, it took 4months of marraige and my hubby did not leave me, neither did he vex. When you are married, you can pace yourself well and let it happen naturally.
Don't listen to anyone that advises you to do it before marriage. By now you should know better. If u get preggers again, it will be shame on you and u would be the big fool. If he loves you, he'll wait.
Best comment!
DeleteMtcheeewwww....
DeleteSee them!...*yinmu...
Gaskiya!
DeleteEeyah.....The extra length women go, just to please their man. Kudos for your efforts and how much research and will power you've put into this.......I only hope your man would appreciate all you're going thru and please use protection when you finally get to do it cos you can't really vouch for anyone and you already knw the risks associated with unprotected sex. Stay safe and success in ur Msc.
ReplyDeleteLi-yon Vls.
It is good you discovered this problem early. And even better that you have an understanding partner. What you actually need to deal with is ur mind and not your body. Try as much as possible to remove that fear of sex from ur mind befor you body will accept penetration. Because even after excess foreplay and you are well lubricated down there, immediately ur partner tries to penetrate you will not allow him because of the fear of pain. So deal with your mind properly first and come to terms with yourself that you are a woman and it is ur nature to have penetrative sex. Harden ur heart and accept the d***. While ur man is about to penetrate try and think of joyous moments you have had in d past remove ur mind from the actual act, could work for you. As a kid whenever I wanna take an injection I usually think of joyous moments so that I don't feel the pain.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you my dear.
ReplyDeletechronicles kwa ,this should be medical problem ,doctors in the house over
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you dear.
ReplyDeleteOdiegwu.let me read comments
ReplyDeleteBut poster try n deal with this your vagisnis sth o because sex with the right person is bliss..
Vaginismus is real.. buh ts all in d mind too.. just relax.. buh mehn u n ur fiance shld gwan do tests 1st oo.. cos ts hard enough penetrating nt to nw say wit condom... na die..
ReplyDeleteIt's spiritual Your first boyfriend has block ur vjay with spells in other to have u to himself alone,if u want to unlock it use coconut water to wash ur vjay preferable dt coconut dt fell down on it's own ,mark my word u'll come back and thank me.
ReplyDeleteIgnorance is a disease
DeleteNa comment b ds 1 too oo.. spiritual?? Coconut dt fell on ts own?? O ga o.. wetn I no go read
DeleteWt nonsense is this?
DeleteHuhhhh!!!
DeleteHian!!..
Deletelmfao! Ara di na udi na udi
DeletePoster, may u get solution to ur problem.
ReplyDeleteFind a White Carpenter and ask him to hit it hard with a Hammer. Jus joking dear...
ReplyDeleteWord of advise,don't go back to dt ur first boyfriend o!!also your down below go receive multiple times orgaism for pant so control it.
ReplyDeleteNo comment sha #teamvirgin #teamnosexbeforemarriage#teamweddingnitesex... All d sexiologists in d house step forward.
ReplyDeleteIt's your first boyfriends juju. He did it. It could also God. You killed a baby you know. You might kill another
ReplyDeleteWhat is this one talking?...
Deleteohh chim o
DeleteBabe, order for sexual stimulants from a good pharmaceutical company, will help u relax during sex
ReplyDeleteMy dear so sorry about what you are going through. Just relax your mind and let go when you people are abt to do it. make your man use lubricant liberally and there should be enough foreplay. All the best
ReplyDeleteits all in the mind.........free ur mind an you will enjoy it
ReplyDeleteBuy k-y gel, it will help with easy penetration, try to relax and enjoy the moment, remove ur mind from the pain, and you will see how it would go.
ReplyDeleteI kinda envy you small, at least it will make being celibate easier
ReplyDeleteMy dear I totally relate with this because I had the same issue but I wasn't pregnant though.
ReplyDeleteI can be friends with a guy now and the moment sex comes up, sorry I go break up.
I battled it for 6 years before I met a humble guy. Who changed the story.
No amount of lubricant solved it o.
They say sex begins with the mind but swedy, I can be ready now and the moment itz time my mind go dey skip.
Then I realized I was under the bondage of my mom's threat to sex...lol " if man touch you ha! na belle o etc....lol ( I heard that from someone who counselled me.)
The truth is when you meet someone you have a chemistry with, it works perfect.
U also need to find out stuffs about yourself it wil help. E.g what turns you.
It could be words, and it could also be actions.
Bottom line when you meet someone who loves you and you in return, he wil be careful and patient til you com around. But most importantly keep an open mind during sex. Gudluck.
I be pro now o my hubby can confess...lol
Poster, I so feel your concern. The problem is, after losing your virginity, you didn't engage in sexual activity again... it happened to me. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me because I couldn't understand why this 'thing' that people enjoyed so much was so painful for me. The solution: your fiance needs to keep at it... try to relax before he penetrates, use KY jelly and eventually, you'll be fine. Once he enters, it would be so painful, like you're losing your virginity all over again, but just try and brave the pain. Also, try to not leave too long a gap between sexual intercourse.. You will be fine!
ReplyDeleteWomen and their wahala. Its too tight, it's too wide, it's watery, it's dry. May God help us.
ReplyDeleteLooooool
DeleteGo check yourself for fibroids. Some grows and block the Virginia entrance.
ReplyDeleteE nor dey block spain or dubai?
DeleteAlcohol + Lub + porn + Fingering = the big O!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteKindly tell your finance to be thrusting gradually every day until it opens. I was once like you when I lost my virginity at 17. I never liked sex then. My ex then told me how nice and swt it was just to find out it was the opposite. I hated sex for real then.
I met another guy no way. Still painful and all. I never reached orgasm with any of them bec of pains, fear and all.
When I met my hubby, I explained to him that I dnt like sex, it was painful and I have never had orgasm before through proper penetration. It didn't sound strange to him. My hubby was so understanding that he will last long, do it gradually no way. so we agreed he will be fingering me to cum. But to my greatest surprise now, I have orgasm through normal penetration. That was a whole lot of work from hubby. Note: I said gradually, patience, take fear away, trust him, relax your mind and enjoy it. My hubby taught me all these and helped me overcome my fears by first, making me to trust him, kill my fears, tried different styles to see what works for me. One day he said baby lie on me, I said it will be painful. He encouraged me to try it and I did. That night I had my first ever orgasm from proper penetration and from then till now, I cum through proper penetration.
Speak to your hubby. he has to help you. You can't do that magic alone. Please alws have sex always. it will help open your Virginia properly then leaving space for you to enjoy sex without pain and excess tightness. Up till now, my vg is still tight but not painful. It also shows you were not trading/over using it. It also brings respect to you same way a virgin gets respect for keeping herself.
I tell you this from experience. My VG was so tight that my hubby hardly last then lol.... He will say ur VG is so tight and sweet. I try to control myself to last but I can't. He had to start lasting oh! bec we needed my problem to be solved. He will bite his lips then so he will feel pain and the cum will go back lmao. So my dear, is fun. Try it.
All the best.
U think this is a pornography film, see how u are sharing all your private matter for Sdk....yeye
DeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteKindly tell your finance to be thrusting gradually every day until it opens. I was once like you when I lost my virginity at 17. I never liked sex then. My ex then told me how nice and swt it was just to find out it was the opposite. I hated sex for real then.
I met another guy no way. Still painful and all. I never reached orgasm with any of them bec of pains, fear and all.
When I met my hubby, I explained to him that I dnt like sex, it was painful and I have never had orgasm before through proper penetration. It didn't sound strange to him. My hubby was so understanding that he will last long, do it gradually no way. so we agreed he will be fingering me to cum. But to my greatest surprise now, I have orgasm through normal penetration. That was a whole lot of work from hubby. Note: I said gradually, patience, take fear away, trust him, relax your mind and enjoy it. My hubby taught me all these and helped me overcome my fears by first, making me to trust him, kill my fears, tried different styles to see what works for me. One day he said baby lie on me, I said it will be painful. He encouraged me to try it and I did. That night I had my first ever orgasm from proper penetration and from then till now, I cum through proper penetration.
Speak to your hubby. he has to help you. You can't do that magic alone. Please alws have sex always. it will help open your Virginia properly then leaving space for you to enjoy sex without pain and excess tightness. Up till now, my vg is still tight but not painful. It also shows you were not trading/over using it. It also brings respect to you same way a virgin gets respect for keeping herself.
I tell you this from experience. My VG was so tight that my hubby hardly last then lol.... He will say ur VG is so tight and sweet. I try to control myself to last but I can't. He had to start lasting oh! bec we needed my problem to be solved. He will bite his lips then so he will feel pain and the cum will go back lmao. So my dear, is fun. Try it.
All the best.
Lets I forget poster, you don't need to have PREMARITAL s3x b/c of your condition. Wait until you get married, it's never too late. The first attempt was pregnancy, you never can tell, this time around it can be venereal disease/s, once bitten twice shy......Mrs. E.
ReplyDelete@STELLA, "SEX IS NOT SWEET" WHAT IS "SWEET IS SEX IN MARRIAGE" . . . YES, I WILL SAY IT AGAIN, SEX IN MARRIAGE IS SWEET! DO NOT ENCOURAGE THESE YOUNG FOLKS TO EXPERIMENT WITH SEX WHILE UNMARRIED; I.E. THEIR BRIDE PRICE HAS NOT BEEN PAID. THINK OF IT STELLA, WILL YOU LIKE YOUR KIDS SAY AS ADULTS; 18 ETC TO READ BLOGS AND BEGIN TO HAVE SEX BECAUSE THE BLOGGER SAYS THAT "SEX IS SWEET?" WON'T YOU LIKE YOUR GIRL TO TELL YOU THAT SHE IS PREGNANT AFTER YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE GOTTEN HER BRIDE PRICE AND GIVEN THE GO AHEAD? HOW ABOUT YOUR SON, WOULD YOU LIKE HIM TO TELL YOU WHILE IN COLLEGE THAT HE HAS GOTTEN A LADY PREGNANT? OR YOUR DAUGHTER TELL YOU LIKE THIS LADY THAT SHE HAD ABORTED IT.
ReplyDeleteIT IS THIS KIND OF NOTION THAT MADE THIS POSTER FIND HERSELF IN THIS SITUATION TODAY. SHE BELIEVED THAT "SEX IS SWEET" AND BECAME VULNERABLE TO THE BRAT SHE CALLED BOYFRIEND. NOW HER EYES HAS POPPED OPEN AND SHE IS WORRIED SICK ABOUT "SEX IN MARRIAGE" WHEN SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FORWARD WITH ANTICIPATION OF THE BLISS.
dear poster try KY jelly it works wonder, and you should try n free your mind from fear probably because of what has happened initially. wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteI went through this same thing. Didn't even know it had a name. I think it's psychological cos it all started from when I was disvirgined (same as you). My bf then thought I was lying and didn't believe I was a virgin so he kept trying to force himself in instead of taking it gently. He thought I was tightening my vagina muscles to make it seem like I was a virgin. It was a horrible experience for me and I was glad when it was finally over. The whole experience stayed in my head so I became scared of sex. The thought of my bf penetrating was just scary. I liked the idea of being made love to but didn't know allow him enter. Was very frustrating for him.
ReplyDeleteThis continued for years. He would just rub his thingy on my pussy so he could come since he couldn't get in. Then one night, I stayed over. He tried again but this time, he tried to distract me from the actual penetration by giving lots of kisses, and other stuff to calm me. As he was trying to push in he'd be kissing and touching to distract me from the pain. Then next thing, bam he entered lol.
Since that day, my vaginisim (lol whatever u called it) disappeared.
What am I saying? It's all in your mind. You just need ur fiance to make u relax and forget what he's trying to do down there
I hate sex!
ReplyDeleteThis same thing is obtainable in NOSDRA. where the Agency owe it's workers millions in arrears. Unpaid salary and indiscriminate employment. I don't know how this will get to Buhari.
ReplyDeleteHey Stella where is my 2nd comment? Anyways here is it again:
ReplyDeletePoster, you don't need to be involved in premarital s3x b/c of your condition. Pls patiently wait till you are married, it'll never be late. Rem d 1st one resulted in pregnancy and finally abortion, you never can tell, another may be venereal disease/s. Premarital and extramarital s3x have twisted N destroyed many destinies .....Mrs. E.
Dear poster all u need is a good head from an expert header! ...u'll b so wet n turned on na u go de beg d guy to do the do!...
ReplyDelete#goodluck
Dear poster it is well with you. Try and see a psychologist and will advice you to wait till after marriage before having sex to avoid had I known. God bless you
ReplyDeleteAbeg wait 4 marriage ooooooo Hiv is real#na u sabi
ReplyDelete