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Monday, August 31, 2015

Monday Laughs - Please Follow The Instructions Carefully!








2nd Semester Exams For Relationship Department
Course: Introduction to Love Mathematics
Course code: CEC 107
All questions carry equal marks.
Time allowed: 2hrs, 30 minutes.

1. If a girl is in love for 3 years and at the end, the guy breaks up with her, WHAT is the formula for calculating such love and time wasted?

2. As a guy, you dated more than 7 chicks at a time. Using the Almighty Formula, CALCULATE the expenses and loss in handling all of them?

3. STATE 5 differences between Orobo (fat) girls and Lekpa (skinny) girls.

4. With the aid of a labelled diagram, DRAW and EXPLAIN the term "Ukwu".

(Question 5- For girls only)
5. Using Laws of indices, CALCULATE the disappearance of your boyfriend whenever you demand for an i-Phone 6.

(Question 6- For boys only.)
6. You send an airtime worth #1500 to your girlfriend and she sends you a 'Please call me I Love You' text.
CALCULATE the profit and Loss of the airtime being sent and use the proportional ratio to attain the equation.

7. You broke up with your girl because of Christmas gifts, etc. Using quadratic equation, CALCULATE how long it'll take you to get her back in January.

8. As a guy, you are dating other people's sister, but you don't want any other guy to date your sister. CALCULATE the percentage of your foolish and wicked behaviour. (Take pie =3.14)

9. When you check a Facebook profile, 99% of guys are single as their marital status states, and 99.9% of the girls are dating, engaged, in a relationship or married. BRIEFLY explain who they are all dating in not less than two sentences.

10. Draw a table illustrating the predicament of the ex-president  and calculate the efficiency of English his wife would use on him,


N/B- Attempt all question to avoid carry-over



50 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. OMG bwhahahhahahahahahaha...

      Thus just made my night.

      Hahahahahahahahahahaah

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. From the spelling of "lekpa" and "ukwu" I can categorically state that it was constructed by an Igbo person. Nwafo!

      Delete
  3. Lol Stella!! Which one u answer?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  5. kikikikikikik hahahahahahh pls i wan get carryover abeg!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lol. Stella, you r not serious. I can only answer question 3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Omg.
    Hehehehehe.
    I'm copying this NOW

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lmao Stella Nwunye Korkus u r cray ds Monday...lmao. I studied maths but I no fit solve ds one. Abeg bv Nora Nelson step forward; u r a mathematician in whom am well pleased.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can't stop laughing jare




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hate maths no be small. I wonder how I got 2.1 in engineering when everything was calculations and formulas. Lmfao

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same way I got a first class in Accounting! *winks*

      Delete
    2. In the 5yrs I spent in school no babe graduated with a 2.1 in my faculty. I had 2.2mech, done masters already

      Delete
  11. Using stella Korks formula, answer no 1 = **********

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lmao.

    I suck at maths.

    I'll pass abeg (pun intended) .

    #WhiteDiamondOut

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give this lady a dog for proper identification of puns.

      Delete
  13. Hilarious hahahahahahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  14. 1. love/time wasted=no of sex × yrs ÷ breakup constant
    looool

    ReplyDelete
  15. Its really Monday laughs. I cannot even try to attempt any question

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stella stop na! Bring ihn as e dey hot. Let ur 1 be 1 lol. Nor be Hollywood we dey oh. We nor like suspense hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  17. The person wey write this thing get plenty time well well. Moving to the next post jaare

    ReplyDelete
  18. How will I attempt all of them when question 6 says only boys I know my A is guaranteed

    ReplyDelete
  19. Madam stella is the best blogger
    Lolz

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lmao,so hilarious.Some people are really creative sha

    ReplyDelete
  21. That no 4 is so easy na..


    ( )= Ukwu!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Stella make i carry over abeg. no power to do this

    ReplyDelete
  23. Lol. Stella pls 'm allergic to this exam/test. Hehe

    ReplyDelete
  24. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    Omo na too carry C/O no tym.... #NowPlaying>> stimulated: tyga...
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    ReplyDelete
  25. Madam Stella, first of all 2hrs 30mins is too short to attempt all questions. I would have even tried but the time limit discouraged me.. Anyways...I'll attempt next time

    ReplyDelete
  26. 1) Let G = girl
    Time = no of yrs = 3
    L = love
    B = breakup
    Therefore, if
    L = [ G*T ]- B,..............(1).......ans1
    To get d time, make T the subject of the formular

    L-B =G*T
    Therefore, T = L - B/G.........(2).......ans 2

    2)I'm not a guy...wouldn't know

    3)OROBO. / LEKPA
    *ukwu. / - ukwu
    *full of love. /cold hearted due to exposed chest
    *too much food / saves more money on food
    * too heavy to carry up d stairs / nt 2 heavy
    *no "jackie chan during sex" / unimaginable positions

    *). ! !
    )

    ReplyDelete
  27. 4) A portion of the female physique that drives men crazy and mades bitches proud or envious......a black man would understand.

    5) This states that d disappearance of my boyfriend whenever I ask for Iphone 6 is raised to power 1 milion........mathematically,
    Boyfriend + Iphone 6 = 1 *10 exp 1000000

    6) I'm not male...dnt qualify
    7) Same as 6 above
    8) Same as 6 and 7 above

    9) Simple...this is because the females have an illusion of beinng in love, seeing as they are a romantic creature and always want to show off. While the males on the other hand, are stone cold cheaters.

    10) No idea........probably because the thought of the english his wife would use on him is giving me a migraine.......conc one,,,,,and it's going...kpum! Kpum!! Kpum!!! Kpum!!!

    I think I skipped d "A" and went ahead to first class.....

    Nwa amaka....nde ewooo

    ReplyDelete

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