NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
WHEN A SIBLING HATES THE OTHER
I need to share my own life experience so I can get some advice.My elder sister and i have never been in good terms from childhood. I remember when we were still in primary school, we were the only ones among my siblings that dont agree and my parents always tried to make peace between us.The relationship between us has never been loving and we still grew up like that.
I also remember back then together in boarding secondary school that people always told us we don't behave like sisters due to how cold she was towards me and up till date we don't gist or crack jokes like sisters. She would always find a reason to talk to me rudely and was always mean to me most times and it seemed like as if she hated me.
I was worried and ashamed about it when I was younger that I don't allow my friends paying me a visit to the house or passing the night because the hatred made my family not to be so united and my mum always preached to us about love. Finally after her university education, she got a good job in lagos and was able to get an apartment of her own. I was posted to serve in lagos and my mum insisted that I have to stay with my elder sister that she can't have her two single daughters in the same state and living separately.
I don't like getting my mum worried or upset because she has high blood pressure.I stayed with my elder sis from my service year till I got a job and I couldn't get an apartment cause I don't want my mum to be bothered with the enemity as I always pretend everything was fine and don't complain to my mum when she asks how everything is going with us.I have been living with my elder sister for more than two years in lagos and I also gave her part of my own house rent last year. All those while we have been staying together, you can hardly hear us gist or laugh together. She talks to me as I am a nobody and I try never to respond to her anytime she starts showing her attitude.
Any time I talk to her decently she responds rudely and with resentment that at times I wonder if we are related by blood or is something spiritual. I decided long ago not to bother myself about her or what people would say about us as I just need to be around people that makes me happy. There are a lot of stories but let me just cut it short here as I just don't understand why your own blood can hate you from child hood.
I see the way other girls treat their younger ones and I know mine is totally different. The relationship I have with my younger sister is so different as we play together and she ask me question about girl stuff for advice which I don't do with my elder one.I was recently thinking of getting my own apartment not withstanding how my mum will feel so I can give her space.It was only recently that a friend asked me what was going on cause he always thought I had only one sister not knowing I had two. I finally shared my story with him which I have never done with anyone and he then advised me to put it up here on Stella's blog for advise.
Perhaps you need to ask your mum some questions...
Perhaps you need to sit your sister on her butt and ask her what is wrong,what you did and why she hates you so much.If there was an altercation then it would have been easily understood but since there was none,you need to ask her...ask her before you move out.
Is she friends with your other sister?
............................................................................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHEN INSECURITY SETS IN...
Hello Stella,
I started reading your blog a few months ago and I am addicted! I have an issue (which might not be an issue to you) but please DON'T wait for comments, slap me, or negodu. PLEASE BRING OUT YOUR RED PEN!
I am in my early 20s and my boyfriend is 30. Like most girls I have serious trust issues. I tend to over-think and this usually makes situations worse. My man is my third and by God's grace my LAST. We met about 2yrs ago and almost immediately, he expressed his interest in me. I wasn't really feeling him at all at that point cz I was getting over a heartbreak. Our 'friendship' was very stressful because he wanted something more than I was able to offer him.
This guy steadily used my pictures on his bbm dp even telling some of his friends and family that we were dating (when we weren't). We sometimes hooked up (no sex oh) but the usual kissing and fondling. We got really close and shared a lot of our childhood stories and dark secrets with each other and boy oh boy, his childhood was really rough. He did't grow up with his parents. I think this is what makes us think differently because I was really sheltered while he was exposed to all sorts; sex at an early age, feelings of abandonment, physical abuse from relatives etc. Seeing him now, one wouldn't be able to tell all that he has gone through.
He has grown up to be a very handsome, friendly, and extremely hardworking man although he has severe anger problems but I seem to be the only one who can tame him. During one of heart to heart discussions we were talking about exes and I asked if he still loved his and he reluctantly said yes ( she broke up with him because she couldn't handle the long distance, she's in Nigeria while he's here in the UK). I felt some type of way because he told me he loved me prior to this and I don't understand the concept of loving two people at once. I couldn't say anything because we weren't even dating afterall. Anyway, we had a falling out and we didn't talk for about 4 months, and then randomly on Christmas day last year he messaged me on bbm and we got talking again after serious apologies from his part. We have now been dating for 7months and I am so happy.
I haven't been this happy with any man. He treats me the way no one has ever had. He gave me the password to his phone willingly (I didn't even have to ask!) and also added my fingerprint to his phone (my fellow iphone users will understand) , I have one of his atm cards which he gave me to use if need be. He takes me practically everywhere, he's so proud to show me off. And OMG this guy fucks me sooo well! our sex life is off the chain I can't even start explaining lol. My pictures are everywhere from his bbm dp to whatsapp to his instagram. His mom is so smitten by me, on my birthday she called me praying that my womb would give her grand kids, he's always talking about the future with me in my mind and we have talked about marriage quite a few times but I don't wanna rush it because our relationship is still fresh and I'm still a bit young but we should be ready for marriage at least in two years. He pretty much spoils me and makes me feel so special that I am beginning to overthink and ask if this is all real.
I love this guy to death and I'm so scared of being heartbroken again. I don't know if this is me being insecure or my trust issues taking over because sometimes I find myself arguing with him over silly things. Anytime he likes his ex's pic on instagram, I get upset. He even called her to wish her a happy birthday. He tells me he loves me all the time but could he still love his ex? How can I calm down because I don't want anything to ruin what I have with him? PLEASE HELP STELLA!
God bless you!
You are just an insecure bitch!..LOL
Abeg i dont see any problem except there is something you didnt say?If you didnt snatch him from here why are you scared?
Please relax.
As for that hot sex...JUST NEGODU....#condom or #abstinence
Phewwwww
ReplyDeleteP1, u need to ask ur mom some very serious questions. Talk to her. P2, stop creating a mountain out of a mole hill. Bye.
DeletePoster two: advice yourself
DeletePoster one: Jesus fix it
Chronicle again.......thank God 2day chronicle is void of husband and wife palava!
DeleteI will read comments jare!
Poster one, it could be spiritual. She can't just hate you like that from childhood without any reason. Looks like what witches do.
DeletePoster 1, i'll advice you to keep showing her love.
DeletePoster 2, if this guy is all you said he is then you will soon loose him with your insecurity.
On a very good day Stella, I would have strongly disagreed with you last comment but honestly! Poster 2, you are such an insecure bitch! Lol. I thought I had insecure issues but girl you take the damn crown, Babe I bow to your insecurity! Damm nigga!
DeletePoster One.. I have the same situation as urs but I am the elder one.. Looking back now I can't tell you the exact thing causing beef btw my immediate younger sister and I.. We just stopped getting along in our teens.. fortunately I have four sisters so I don't look to her for sisterly anything my mom preached, my Dad threatened, my aunties didn't believe it and all tries their best when we where growing up but no change.. When my other sisters give birth i will travel from Lagos to PH even the East with gifts to see them but if my immediate sister gives birth I just send her a text. In fact I can't explain it.. In my heart I don't hate her or have any evil thoughts about her we just don't get along in fact sometimes I don't count her among my sisters bcos I don't remember her.. Because of this I can never be angry with anybody for more than a day bcos I don't want to have a second person in my life that I don't get along with..
DeleteMy dear just let her be.. get your own place and move on with your life at least she's not your only sister..
Poster 2: go with d flow! Life itself is a risk. Just pray to God to guide every step u take n wash ur mind with jik as regards d ex.
DeletePoster 1: Are u sure u r not rude? My younger sibling is so rude that she practices every new insultive words on me yet shes 8 years younger. She's married yet rude still that our relationship is sour. I just keep my distance. So kindly check urself. I av no advice for u until we hear from ur elder sis. Thank u
Yes sometimes,disrespect can make some elder sisters act cold to their younger ones,so poster,are u rude to ur sister in any way?do u make her feel little by ur words and action wenever she scolds you? Do ur parents in anyway show they prefer u to her?or are u more beautiful and successful in wat u do?these are some things that can cause deep rooted resentment esp if that ur elder sis is a jealous and unforgiving person.
DeleteSolution :be respectful to her but go abt acting like she doesn't exist!stay in dat house,dont go anywhere as long as she hasn't told u to leave,u sef it's like u are too emotional jare.must someone talk or play with u?#tongue click #
Poster2,u are just a drama queen that derives pleasure in confusion u create in relationship!pls watch it so it won't ruin u,u have something beautiful at least for now!do u know wat it means for a man to put your picture up in every of his space?even most husbands won't do that for their wives so they can have avenue to cheat!abeg calm down madam.
I beg to differ! Poster 1, pls call her to order. Sit her down and pour out ur heart. This is something your mum should have done along time ago involving some critical people. Sibling rivalry shouldn't be taken lightly pls. If something happens to her tomorrow you'd be filled with regrets. Pray to God for the wisdom of the tongue, to help you say the right things before going to talk to her.
DeletePoster 2, insecurity is a very sensitive subject. I think you should share this with the man in question. You may feel better since you say he's done nothing wrong to you to be insecure about.
Will read comments
ReplyDeleteI refuse to read comments. Poster 1, ur not alone. My best friend and her two sistas are like that. The only difference is day they are all married now.
DeletePoster2, av been there. Its just ur insecurity. Am still trying to sort mine out. The truth is when the love is too much u begin to have A rethink. Am just taking it as it comes.
I still love my ex like kilode that's why I always avoid going to their house. Most people still got so feeling for Their previous relationship especially when it ended without any good reason. You should be happy she is here in Nigeria and ur over there.
You always read comments
DeletePoster one, I have a sister like yours, you have to learn that you can't force anyone to love you even if you have blood in common ignore her and build your life independent of her.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: This is the effect of being in stupid relationships for a long time it damages your mind and ability to accept that ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME. You need to delearn all you have filled your mind with about men and relearn how to be in a healthy relationship
Don't I just love you?
DeleteMy elder bro and I are like this @poster 1, we were close but all of a sudden we just stopped talking, my mum organised prayers,cried, visited pastors they said it's spiritual that "a stone was thrown into our midst in d spiritual world", now we can go 2years we will not ask or talk to each other, he will come home 1week, we will just say goodmorning that's all!!!My dear, I have tried, prayed but I don't know what to do so I have let it be, we must not be close....One thing I know Jealousy is a major factor and also parents have a way of sowing disunity btw kids unknowingly...
Delete@anonymous 16:56
DeleteUr so right. Jealousy and parents
Nothing like spiritual stone jare, let your mother save her strength and energy. Some people don't get along sometimes it could be escalated sibling rivalry
DeleteYou re so right about d parent being a factor!! I noticed I don't like my younger ones esp my immediate sis!! And its just caused my mum never sees any wrong in her!! She was always mouthy and my mum never. Says anything. So a bottled up lot of resentment towards her. And I don't like it cos I'm d 1st childd. I always dream of beating her seriously in dreams with so much hate dt baffles me. Don't know what to do!! Even wen they ask for things I find it hard to give them. I'm praying against it. Bt my sis likes me. She is always praying we shld nt figh anytime I'm home and we re both in out late twenties o
DeletePoster1 I always insist that love changes everything and every1 reacts positively to love no matter how cold dey are,I know it'll take a lot of energy esp if she dosent reciprocate and is nt receptive but give it ur best shot...greet her with ur best smile,ask how her day went,cook for her,wen ure doing ur laundry u can include hers too,wen u go out,buy her a treat,maybe a fruit or a snack,wen it's getting late n she's nt back call her to make sure she's safe,just be extra kind to her,do this for awhile and see...its either she'll warm up to u wch I'm so sure will be d case or she'll kip up wt her indifference(outwardly) bt I bet u deep down she'll be uneasy till she makes things right with u,however if uve done all d nicest things and deres still no change den i'll say get ur apartment n be nice from a distance,ur happiness is also important
DeleteP2...I am in the same position, I love this one like kilode, he is in uk and im here in naija. Infact I just start random quarels and all. I really wish he send flowers or cakes or chocolate one in a while tho..Most times im lonely and im very insecure
DeleteGlowgirl I disagree that anyone should bribe anyone into loving them while numbing their own emotions.
DeleteLmao @ bring out ur red pen... Brb!
ReplyDeleteThem wan use the red pen cook soup.
DeleteI am so busy....
ReplyDeleteFor the first time on chronicles,I will read comments...
I la la...
P1, talk to ur mom n sis. They need to talk sense into u both n make u see reasons cos u can't continue like this.
ReplyDeleteP2, u re a thief! Don't worry, girls dat deserve him will come for him soon. Insecure bitch is what u re, like Stella just said.
What about mothers who pretend that all is well?
DeletePls bvs,which subscription is cheap and fast for an Android tab,someone told me airtel,but said it's selects location,am in ikeja,anifowoshe to be precise,plss if u ve used airtel b4,share ur experience plss.
ReplyDeleteThe two posters doesn't have issues atall
DeletePoster 1: how long do want to continue staying with someone who doesn't like you? Lemme tell something,try get an apartment even of its a room self contain and distance yourself from her,stop calling her and avoid all ways. I bet with you she wil be the one looking for you especially when you progress more than she can imagine.
Let your mum know you both are in good times but you just want to be on your own since you both can't be together for long.
Poster 2: stay dir and be looking for what's not.he is so open to you,what else do you want? I will advise you marry him sharperly this time that he's madly in love with you before anything happen. Abi you want turn gwegwez?
I did the same mistake with my present fiancé when he was begging we shud tie the knot last year and I said he was too fast,now the reverse is the case.
I totally agree...airtel is the best for android
DeleteWhat kind of stupid advice is that!! Get stuffs for her!! Go out to movies. Make sure u guys do stuffs together. With that she will warm up to u
DeleteVery true......@ poster2, na wen yam hot them they eat am ooooooooo! If para venture madam ex miraculously gets UK visa ? I'm sorry for u.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteMove out and get your place. How long will you keep enduring BS? All because she's your sibling?
Family isn't always blood. Get your own place and try as much to stay outta her way. Just imagine?
Poster 2
Keep looking for issues where there's none.
Shift abeg, make I see road.
True!
DeleteFamily isn't always blood..
@1, dat she's ur sister does not mean you guys must be friends, plz get ur own apartment before she poisons u, I guess she's jealous of you, maybe u are prettier or u get money attention from men than her, live dat house asap.
ReplyDelete@2, u ve a psychological problem, u are probably ugly dats y u are feeling insecure.
Poison kwa? E never reach like dat.
DeleteHow can you give such advice?
DeleteAre you trying to mend or break?
You must be wicked!
You have an ugly heart!
You are hopelessly stupid and ugly faced!!!
The kind of advice I'm seeing ehhh!! Some peeps things with their anus
DeleteJesus is a Lord! Seriously, i think that some people give weird advice to be noticed. Really!!!!! Thank God you are a human being and not God.
DeleteStella very bad of you to call the young lady bitch. Even though you put lol after. You are setting a bad example for your blog visitors
ReplyDeletePls we are here to have fun. If ur allergic to cussing and teasing then u should be in the cave. Cos am really having enjoying every bit of it Bitch!
DeleteMy sentiments exactly!
DeleteI agree. Lol or not, bad language is bad language, wrong!
DeleteYeah, Stella that's bad and harsh!
DeleteCalm down now. We all know how Stella jokes. If you didn't see that as a joke, too bad.
DeleteBad example for her VISITORS? You're kidding right? Is what Stella wrote up to a tenth of just ONE blog visitor will write. She even tried. Just watch this space. As if BVs need Stella's prompting...
DeletePoster 1: are you prettier than her? Do you get more male attention than her? Ask your mama and papa some hard questions and please move out of her house but do not tell mumsy immediately.
Poster 2: you are d only one that can tame him right? Okay oh.
The sex is out of this world right? Okay oh.
Its very bad that stella refers to her blog visitors as bitches and taking resetting slaps or whatever, most people that come on here for advice are already broken, please stella take it easy on the cussing biko. This place should feel like home and not a warfront, its not that serious. Some people are really confused out there and bringing their issues here should be like a relief to them, you dont have to cuss to make your points known stella.. believe me u set the pace for some really nasty comments on here. You need to take it easy really.. if we knew it all we wont make mistakes..
DeleteAmaka if you are calling me a bitchie you really are a very silly girl. It's extremely uncouth of you to just up and call someone you do not know names. I wonder how you were brought up.
DeleteYes o Nnechi it's one thing for bvs to use bad language and it's another for Stella to Co sign it. My 2 cents
DeleteDon't care if u lol or not stella that was rude and uncouth......as for amaka since I started noticing your comments here I just wonder how u were raised.....u are either too judgemental or just in support Of obviously annoying behavior....a free world but only a fool doesn't know there are limitations
DeletePoster one....u painted ur elder sister black, u didn't tell us if u r d type of younger sis that is disrespectful, I know ur type, u tell d world how mean ur elder sis is while making urself a saint....Mbok shift....
ReplyDeleteP2....enjoy it while it last, whey he ducks u good?
Lol that's only what I saw....whenever he comes to naija, just be sure he will fuck his ex becos she is not an ex properly.
Berry doll, some elder sisters are mean. They even go as far as taking their younger sister"s boyfriend. Even if the poster is disrespectful that does not mean the big sis will hate her. What happens to blood being thicker than water. I have three elder sister, I love them and I respect them. But that does not mean that am not disrespectful sometimes yet they love me like Stella loves jollof rice.
DeleteReally? Pray you have one of those and you understand better.
DeleteYou're so right Balck, he who comes to equity must come with clean hands. Poster should take a chill pill, we don't know how you live or if you're the one who only sees the bad in people. I wish we could hear your sister's part.
DeleteThank u very much!! Some younger sis can be very disrespectful
DeleteThanks blackberry
DeleteMy younger sis is like that ... Not my immediate o..
Very rude and stubborn , Hardly listens , lazy, dirty and rough above all she's disrespectful ... Am always wondering how a man would cope with her if I can't .
When she used to stay with me , it was hell .
She won't clean until I ask her to , she would always mess up the bathroom , her phone rings like a business centre , and she would always come home late from work ( she's serving and was staying with me , while I had a full time job not far from hers )
It got to a point , everything Na quarrel .
Had to tell mom I couldn't cope ... She got her own place and I have peace now .
Thank u berry! My younger sister and i were like that yl growing up. She was so disrespectful and rude to me,even jealous. Told me stuff lik i wud hv my cute face dt i am shakaraing for disfigured in an accident. And my mum made matters worse,always picked on me during fights. So i hated her,evn placed curses on her. Dt her kids wud always b at war snce she ddnt respect me. It took d loss of our brother and after the funeral a pastor saw in his vision that i was angry with her and she was disrespectful. He asked her to seek my forgiveness n asked me to forgive her and revert my curses with blessings. So she asked i forgave her and blessed her. She dsnt evn challenge me 1 bit now. If we argue,she begs me in a few hours. We are as close as anything now. We laugh n cry together. I love her to death. Ask ur sis what u dd to her while growing up. I bet she wud open up.
DeleteGbam BB! Correct talk. Some younger sisters are so rude....hian! Lord have mercy! Love begets love poster 1. U can't be rude n disrespectful expect love
DeletePoster1:I believe ur sis has attitude problem and it her nature u just need to understand her and luv her for wu she is.
ReplyDeletePoster2:let Mi borrow Stella advice u are just an insecure bitch,he luvs u,he his showing it and u are complaining.U NID A SPANK ON UR ASS.
Poster 2 dis is just my life ryt nw except for d insecure part *shines teeth* found a new love and life makes sence now. Old fins have passed, new fins r here to stay! (for nw lol).
ReplyDeletewill just read comments because I'm also guilty of that insecure stuff
ReplyDeleteNarr1, Is your sister ugly? Cause I have observed that ugly girls are angry girls.
ReplyDeleteShe let the hate in her grow over the years,very sad.
Move out for now and have rest of mind then later you can talk it out with her.
Narr2, you have no p.
Lol @ ugly girls are angry girls..
DeleteAnd which people are ugly? I guess you feel you are cute or pretty.being fair doesn't translate to beauty u know, cos you are one bad looking mofo.u just be like ikwi kwi.
DeleteI know of a friend whose sister was like that, they are now very close after a lot of drama during our Uni days. Lemme read comments.
ReplyDeleteP1 My dear just try ur best and talk to her and I guess it's high time you tell your mum. But if it's me anyday she talk to me any how I will give it back to her.
ReplyDeleteHehehehehe ooooh I love you stella, u really know how to use ur red ink.u just hit d nail on the head. Narrative one I was once in the same shoes wit u tho mine was a stepsister from the same mother. I had to put a stop to dat nonsense by putTing a fight.it got to a point I couldn't take it no more, so I engaged her in a fight Omo I chop beating dat day but she dint find it funny too as I gave her enough bruises. After den she doesn't step out of her boundary. We talk now tho just dat dat rivalry is still dia but not as before. #YGNL signing out
ReplyDeleteP2 Can I have ur boyfriend please . Thanks
ReplyDeletePoster one: Your story is one sided. We don't know if you're a snotty younger sister.
ReplyDeleteBut it shouldn't be enough for her to act that way.
It's probably sibling rivalry taken too far.
Poster two: Your reaction is probably normal.
Unconsciously stemming from the fact that he admitted to still loving his ex and they still communicate.
I don't think you're insecure.
That is, unless you display irrational behaviours when jealousy springs up.
Just be cautious, until he wifes you.
#WhiteDiamondOut
1. Talk to your sis and ask her what you did wrong or you're not doing right? If she still insist that you did nothing wrong then visit your mum and ask her any question you need to ask regarding this, explain to her that you can't stay with your sis anymore. Come up with an excuse of getting an apartment close to your place of work or something else that won't make her worry too much since she's hypertensive.
ReplyDeleteLeave that house cos you can't continue to force yourself on her and be watchful. Don't let your guard down when you're with her. Don't be too trusting but show love when you're around her. It is well.
@poster two. See your mouth like he fucks me so we'll. I smh for you.in ur early 20's and a boy is fuckin u. Pls cover ur head with shame. Stay there and be fucking o, soon u will send in ur chronicles
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
DeletePoster 1: you people are behaving like cain and abel. make una continue with this stupidity. better move out from that house and get your own apartment. May be you stole her blessings that is why.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: i did not read much. i just saw trust issues and i am 20+. God will fix your problem.
My dear please get ur space....I have her type as an elder broda....gave me one week notice from his hauus in lagos. ...had nobody else to stay with...Thank God for good friends...today I have a comfortable apartment.
ReplyDeleteAm sure she is like dat to every other person in ur house..There is always a black sheep of the family.
Move on
Hnmmmmmmmm.....third time to comment in 2 years
ReplyDeleteAnd u still no make sense, shift jooooor
DeleteSTIL ON MUTE MODE..GOD HLPME...TOMJERRYSWIT
ReplyDeleteStells joke or no joke, we are not foreigners. Calling a fellow woman a bitch (esp one you do not know is a bit unbecoming please).
ReplyDeleteP1-You have not sought the reason why your sister does not like you. Stop the pity party and ask questions.
P2-Your case is normal. Please make sure his anger is a thing he is working on. No one can tame an angry man. Aside that, it is ok to love with your head as well. If he gives you cause for concern (do not be carried away with dp, his mum and bedroom activity...these things mean NOTHING), if he gives you concern address it. If not, pray and if you have genuine peace...carry on.
Best advice for poster 2. So it's dp that is shacking you. Your eye never open. Keep opening ur legs for a guy that has confessed he's still in love with his ex.
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
ReplyDelete.
One: pls forget ur sister and if need be get ur own department
.
.
Two: person give yu password to his phone and yu still feel insecure... Yu are seriously not serious i swear.... #NowPlaying>> stimulated: tyga....
.
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster1 I advice u give u elder sis her space!! U pay ur rent to her wtf!! Get ur apartment biko n use d money there jor!! Some ppl r just naturally a sadist!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2 get ova ur self nd hv a gud relationship biko... He hasn't cheated sef nd Ure making up stories!!
Poster 1. If all you told us is the whole truth, then I concur with Stella's red ink. Have a chat with your mama, then you sister, after that Please move ouT! Your peace of mind is Also Important.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. RELAX, there are still good people out there. About him liking his ex's picture on IG, no big deal.
All you all sating insecure birche are the insecure birches yourselves.
ReplyDeleteGirl, your guy is still in live with his ex, and given any slightest chance, you will see them ducking again.
Make sure he cuts all ties with her, delete her number from his phone, he should stop following him on any of her social media accounts.
Any girl doesn't care about his guy liking his ex's pic or calling her on he phone, is definitely not in love with her guy.
My dear, you're the one that's insecure. Very soon you will tell him to cut his mother and sisters out of his life. Go and work on your self esteem
DeletePoster 1 am surprised your mom forced you guys to live together. Fortunately one of you is wise.
ReplyDeleteGirls its a no no... A friend told me her mum insisted all sisters stay separately.
My own mum made a comment sisters its not easy.
I seen a pic and I know these two siblings are at it. Ones hair is afro the others is curly. Looks like the parents make the comparison so obvious.
Please for sake of peace look for your own apartment Asap. I learned the hard way. My sister earning triple me. When she saw my payslip. When no one watching what she did... I am still recovering and crying over wasted years.
Do NOT BE AN ENABLER DOORMAT BC OF OBEDIENCE. They'll respect you for Loving yourself.
Poster 2 work on yourself accept God's love and pray for healing and restoration.
Besides the trust will not be there untill you stop fornicating... There's no covering.
My exes spouse and girlfriends keep attacking me despite me severe all communication with my exes. So them lot are insecure . Work on yourself
Sorry. But j didn't understand your comment to poster 1. Uncoordinated
Delete*I didn't
DeletePoster 2: u surely deserve a hot slap to reset ur brains. What is it with some pple sef!? I can't even think of doing half of what he supposedly has done...except of course the 'hot sex' part. But giving u his various passwords, ATM, credit card? Kai...na 'snake in the monkey shadow' style u dey give am?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, u got nothing to worry about! Take a chill
N1, It is not by force to be sisters with her, and you what are you doing wrong??? Talk true! N2, I don't blame you for feeling the way you are feeling, your instinct is telling you something, be vigilant. He is still into his ex.
ReplyDeleteP1
ReplyDeleteThe first thing you need to do is to calmly let your sister know that you both would become mothers se day and so would have children of you own. Let her know that the bond between you two is the same bond that would hold her own children. So as you two are siblings so would her own children be siblings. If it could happen between on siblings it could as well happen between another siblings. Let her imagine how she would feel watching her own children having the type of relationship you two are having. Hopefully that would jolt her to her senses but if not give her space irrespective of what anybody will say. But always keep in torch with her but from a distance and don't fail to do what you ought to do for her. I know e few ppl like that who have refused to 'sibling' their siblings just out of jealousy. It doesn't change anything if you find out you two are not from the same womb or from the same sperm source. Since you call yourselves sisters you are. Remember okonkwo was told not to kill someone that calls h father. That statent is for all.
P2.
My first comment is this.... Women should start doing themselves good by stopping blackmailing and armtwisting men
Experience has showne that women are Stoll the ones that suffer from the effects of these acts. What I mean here is that you, all on your own, asked him whether he loves his ex. The answer is either yes or no. You should be prepared to hear whichever it is. But all you want to do is blacail or arm twist him to have only one choice to make....a no. Now you are suffering from the effect of you voluntary action. Any woman that does such things to me always get the answer she don't want to hear even when I know I'm lieing and it becomes a self inflicted load. You dig where nothing invited you and won't accept what you discover. Now you seam to have landed good man but you're not satisfied. You are looking for a complete man just because you paint yourself perfect. Don't delude yourself that there aren't things not good or agreeable about you that he sees. Any man who can fuck a wan and provide for her whether bog or small has no reason to plead he is not ready to marry just like any girl that is engaging is sex saying she is not ready. Students apprentices etc do marry and stii end up successful ppl. So if the man is ready and you claim to be still a baby enjoying sex and gifts or he claims you should wait for another several years, the truth is your name is o.y.o because if anything goes wrong tomorrow and things do go wrong you are the one that would cry heartbreak even though for me you have no contract between you two.
He needs to deal with that terrible temper o!
DeleteCan't type biko. Thank u for this comment
DeleteYou made vital points but your construction is an eyesore. Omg!
DeletePoster 1, please involve your family to talk things over before it gets out of hand.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. If u didn't snatch him from her m, u have everything to worry about. But if u did, then am sorry
P1: Do you respect and show her love? Or you act like you are in a competition with her? I have encountered sisters like this before, the younger is prettier yet still jealous of the older because she felt her other siblings love the older more. Do a self examination and confront your elder sister about the issue if you know you don't have anything against her.
ReplyDeleteP2: Insecurity is a destroyer. The guy chose you so relax and enjoy your life.
#dat's all
DeletePoster 2.........Marry him already, husband no dey uk like my mom would say
ReplyDeletePoster1........Listen to stella
POSTER 1 HOPE YOU AREN'T DISRESPECTFUL TO YOUR BS, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT CAUSES ISSUE, I HAVE A KID SISTER WHO LIVES WITH ME THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL TELL HER TO DO THAT SHE WILL DO IT THE WAY YOU INSTRUCT HER TO DO IT, SHE MUST WANT IT HER WAY, HOPE YOU AREN'T LIKE THAT. IF NOT CALL YOUR SISTER AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HER IF SHE COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING NICELY THEN I ADVISE YOU PACK OUT OF THE HOUSE HER PRESENCE CAN BE CAUSING YOU SOME SET BACK YOU NEVER CAN TELL.
ReplyDeleteP2 YOU ARE BOLD TALKING ABOUT FUCKING U WELLA, WHEN YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO HIM, YOU ARE AT YOUR EARLY 20 AND YOU HAVE FUCKED 3 DICK ALREADY MAY THE LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOU AND OPEN YOUR EYES TO KNOW THAT WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS WRONG. GOD HELP YOU HE DOESN'T DUMP YOU, BECAUSE HE HAS CAPTIVATED YOU BY HIS TREATMENT. YOU BETTER STOP PICKING AT HIM AND LOVE HIM BACK, TROUBLE NO GOOD IT PUT GUYS OFF
Nne (or Nna) chill oh! Sex isn't new gist. Don't crudity her because she said it out.
DeleteP2.Men who are married or have serious relationships always act so good so be very careful with him make sure that you snoop. I have a story abt what one married man did to one lady.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, try n do away with insecurity cos insecurity is a killer of good relationship....... As for poster 1, pray to God about it n talk to ur sister, let her tell u y she's putting up that xter.
ReplyDeleteN1, av a heart to heart talk with ur sister, u will be shocked what she might tell u dt caused d hatred. Am telling u by experience, some sisters can be So unforgiving over silly things. Just talk with her n be calm, don't be rude. U can even cry while asking her, be an emotional actress. N2, can't help u, but as for me. As far as a guy spends on me and it's proud of me, den I don't av a problem with an invisible ex dt isn't even living in abroad with him.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, dnt worrry with time, things wud be different, I had this exact rship with my elder sister, today she is married with kids, and our rship is a lot better now, hw I handled it? I gave herr a lot of space, but was still always there to help herr wenever she needed me, I did my part as a sister n expected nothing in return from her, today she has rrealized d errror in her ways and ourr rrship is a lot better
ReplyDeleteAll of you crying insecure bitch. Remember that a woman's instincts are rarely wrong. Poster 2. This your man sounds too good to be true. That he gives you password or atm mean nothing. Anyways, time will reveal all. All I'd add is don't ignore your instincts. Do your due diligence and keep your eyes open. Men are masters at this game.
ReplyDeleteP1, siblings rivalry. Nothing but jealousy. Keep your distance from her, no matter what you guys can never be pal lies, it was meant to be so in some home. P2, insecurities is the same thing as not trusting. Watch it, it might cost you that relationship if you don't work on it.
ReplyDeleteP1 I understand you perfectly! My own case be somehow. I am the only boy and I have 3 sisters. There were issues before I was born and my immediate sister is 6 years older than me so they knew everything btw my parents. They keep telling me how a male child can be the black sheep and how i will end up being a disgrace blah blah blah. It is not funny oo....shebi u even have a choice! You have other sisters who you talk to. I don't talk to anyone of them. One day, me and a girl had issues and the girl came home to report that I raped her. My sisters were the one who reported me to police and it wasn't funny. The girl was the one that came later to bail me cus she just wanted to treat my fuck up and didn't know it will get to that. She told me later all what they told her to say and all.
ReplyDeleteWhen I had extra nko....jezzzzz! It's like everyone with extra year in school end up being touts! They tell me stories of how those touts who see their mate in hospital treating them for street fight wounds!
I have found peace. Don't force love, don't even bother finding anything out! Try and be successful and leave her in awe. I don't expect to be loved by anyone. If I do find love, it's a bonus but I am not expecting it and for me peace is greater than love. Love is overrated abeg!
#1, The solution to your problem is to have a family meeting with your parents and other siblings and the matter be thrashed out once and for all! If she has nothing valid to say to cause her hatred towards you, then, face your front and life jeje. I hope on your part, you don't have your own ISH for body? Because she might reply tomorrow and say all your flaws.
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