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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Marriage And Why Most Nigerian Men Run Away From It - Part 2 ’

‘RE - Marriage And Why Most Nigerian Men Run Away From It’


I dont know how to break this to the men folk but there is a little problem!
Women are no longer keeping quiet oh..Anytime a man writes anything that touches nerves we get a rejoinder on this blog...I LOVE IT!  

Read Part one from a Man HERE

Hehehehehehehehe *chewing orijin*





1. - Plenty wife materials, open your eyes
The phrase 'no wife material' is an insult to all the single women in Nigeria. Most men will walk past the ‘wife materials’ and go the artificial bum and fake half caste ladies and yet scream ‘there are no wife materials. I cannot count the number of women who are of marriageable age and are GOOD wife materials who are still very much single. What are the attributes that’s qualifies a woman to be a wife material???


2. - Sex
Interestingly, most women are still single because they have refused to give in to sex before marriage. Again I ask, ‘what do these men really want??? You don’t give in, they walk away and call you old fashioned and all sorts, you give in, and they use and still dump you. You want a virgin, yet you have taken the virginity of many women. Who will marry those ones whose hymen you have broken?


3 -  Class of Wedding
Is there any regulatory body that enforces anyone to have an elaborate or expensive wedding? Does the size or class of a wedding determine its success? It’s up to the man and the woman to check their pocket and decide on how they want their wedding to be, no one will flog you, people will only talk but so long as you are happy with your spouse, them go tire. You can have all 3 weddings and not spend so much, your call and choice. Who says the woman cannot contribute/help the man financially?



4 - Fear of ‘working class’ women
I have heard a lot of men say ‘I am afraid of all these working class ladies o, they are too expensive and may not be submissive, they have tasted life etc. some wont dare to date a lady who owns a car (lol). Countless number of working class ladies are still single, so what do they want to say in their (men) defense? Instead of looking for inner attributes, some look for ways to siphon money from these working class ladies and marry fresh graduate and others.



5 - Can you eat your cake and have it? Marriage is not bondage!
This just makes it look like marriage is bondage! Well, that is left for the men to overcome. A woman has no blame here. You cannot eat your cake and have it, of course when you get married, your wife will want to know where you are or why you are home late (I do not advise/encourage nagging while at it though). if you have to hang out/go out, by all means but do so with respect to your wife.




6. Career life n lies associated with it.
Marriage is all about making sacrifices, no sane women will want her hubby to lose his job, but he can be considerate enough to reduce the long hours at work when there is no tight schedule and remember that he now has a wife at home.
Make una talk true sha, is it really long hours in the office or time out with the boys etc…..?



7. Inlaw's expectation and traditional rites
This can be managed, just let them know your budget and plead with them, I am sure no parent want their child to remain unmarried.


8. Can you be trusted too?
Everyone one way or another has had a bad experience, some almost lost their lives in the process, but still find love. You cannot be heartbroken forever.  Do you trust yourself to be faithful to your wife? If yes, then trust your instinct to lead you to a faithful woman. Trust me when I say women have had it worse in this regard.


9. Will you allow people's experience stop you?
What about the good marriage testimonies? People have died in plane crashes, does it stop people from flying? (don't mean to sound insensitive) Trust God, do your best, be real and truthful to your spouse and I am sure everything will work out for your good. Most men are afraid to trust because they can't imagine their wives doing what they do.


10. Does tribe matter? Is it a factor?
A personal decision whether to marry within your culture or outside, but I still don’t see how that is a problem or why it should make men run away from marriage.

Unemployment is an evil both men and woman face, it’s not one sided. For what its worth, men should really stop all this women are not wife material talk especially when they are not husband material.

Stella beke, abeg make we no start another trend, ladies, just trust God, you know yourself and who you are, any man who is a man will overlook the above mentioned and come for your hand in marriage. God has promised that "NONE SHALL LACK HER MATE" Kisses to all the strong single women in the house, love you loads!!! 



74 comments:

  1. Ride on sis! Don't mind all these men looking for all sorts of excuse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. pls my yoruba peeps i want to make an enquiry. am
      igbo and my sis ttad wil be coming up very soon. she
      said she likes some yoruba gele ahe saw on ig but
      that someone told her that she cnt jst get it like
      that from d market. that she has to find someone
      that makes it. u tell d person what u want and wat u
      want and d design u want her to add to d gele. pls
      my yoruba bvs ,do they make customised gele or u
      must buy frm d market. thnks
      Reply

      Delete
    2. Men are a confused lot always looking for excuses .

      Delete
    3. I'm always impressed with women who have a firm grasp of the language they choose to communicate with when writing. If you write pidgin write it well, ditto for English, Spanish etc. The writing language on social media platforms like twitter and Facebook is horrifying. I cringe at the way "literate" people struggle to write like the uneducated black American folks. So pathetic. Anyway thumbs up to the writer. I enjoyed your write up.

      Delete
    4. Some men are now coming out as Gay
      Another reason why a brother hasn't settled down...

      Delete
    5. You order from the makers. They're all around. There's Tisbee, Bisbod. Google it. Plenty names.

      Delete
  2. Stella post comments. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  3. THELMA ENEMUWE said...
    Women aint smiling
    Poster is dropping it as e dey hot!!
    Making sense post..
    *faithful BV enemuwe thelma*

    ReplyDelete
  4. I belive this are encouraging words for the old girls in the hiuse.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Na exam answer be dis?.
    You try o.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You have said it all..Stella post SnM make sisters find their mates mbok.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love you too, writer.


    Nice write up.


    And yes, recently more women are refusing to be silent.
    And that is a very good thing.


    #WhiteDiamondOut

    ReplyDelete
  8. DEM TWO HAVE SENSIBLE AND TRUTH POINT BT I SO MUCH BLIF DT ALL LIES IN AN INDIVIDUAL..WAT DO U WANT AND HW DO U WANT IT...DES ARE ALL SILIENT FACTORS AND WATS APENIN AROUND US...GOD BLESS SDK....TOMJERRYSWIT

    ReplyDelete
  9. Any man that is Ready to get married will marry.None of the things listed above will stop him from getting married,that is if he is truly READY.Some men give excuses because they get free sex from their girlfriends.If all ladies decided to be responsible and say NO to pre marital sex,the men will work real hard to make to make money and get wives for themselves.If u can get the milk for free why buy the cow?Ladies,be wise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is sex the only reason for a man to get married? Like you said a man who is ready to get married will do so no matter what.

      Delete
  10. Dat is just it to trust God,if a lady meets her future husband sex or no sex no matter d conditions dat d lady place on d man,he is ever going to abide with it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice input !!!

    But on the issue of wife material,the truth is when i read most comments from matured single ladies here on Sdk;i picture their personality in my head and finally see most of them as "high graded wife material"......
    But on the other hand,when i look at the single ladies i ve come across or had encounters of any sort with;then truly if am of marriage able age,i wont and would never get married to any of them...
    I cant keep writing all of their bad attributes here which doesn't qualify them as "wife material" but all i have to say is that being A "girlfriend" to A particular guy doesn't necessary qualify you as A "WIFE"....

    #Wifey features are quite different from being A girlfriend to most guys or should i say "SE*MATE"

    #inshort;instead of me getting married to all these ladies i see hovering around the street here and sharing their body to different guys as if they are sharing birthday cake;i had rather remain single and have my children via surrogacy or via contract...**The truth**

    #i cant come and go and kill myself in the name of getting married Biko..

    XTREME MIXTAPE VOL.2;CLICK TO LISTEN/DOWNLOAD

    @MARTINS ABOY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So in your mind what you wrote is sensible enough for you to phantom?!
      Tolu MzT

      Delete
    2. The word is FATHOM...my dear.

      Delete
  12. Hmmmmmmm,ladie are vexing oooh
    Marriage! Marriage!! Marriage!!
    Marriage is not by force and is also not 4 everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou! Btw, did I say I can only marry someone that just the sight of him 'Turns me on?
      Someone that I don't have to struggle b4 I get wet?
      Someone that even when am upset with him I still wanna fuck him?
      Yes! That's what I want...

      Not some you that would be counting ceiling and checking time when you having intimate time your husband and then come here be claiming shit '' its even more frustrating for you than being single at 40sef.
      I don't normally do this, but biko we've heard enough...

      Delete
  13. Marraige is over rated because most people dont value the core business of marraige anymore. only chop and clean mouth dem they do now.

    ReplyDelete
  14. After reading yay or nah the other day. I will advise Nigerian men to Pls do intensive background check on any woman before you marry.


    Women and lies are like akara and pap in this country.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same way men and lies are like amala and ewedu.

      Delete
  15. I love this part 2



    This article is on point

    All points raised made sense


    E resemble the thing wen @PR guru Ego efiok for write


    Nice one!!!





    Men
    Men
    Read and digest and do the needful




    @Galore

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well said
    Nice write up
    Bravo

    ReplyDelete
  17. Irrespective of d aforementioned, I knw God is preparing d best of his princes f me. Am a princess of d most high God n I refuse t settle f any man who isn't God's will. Der r many men who are wolves in sheep"s clothing but wt God on one's side marriage is gonna b heaven on earth. Amen!

    ReplyDelete
  18. i agree with u dear, men need to bring their head low and check out the wife material too .

    #wisefares#cheapflight#cheapfares

    ReplyDelete
  19. You just said it all marriage is not by force,ladies be wise,padlock your p***y and trow the key into the ocean.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nice answer 2d exam......I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. #standing ovation #round of applause well spoken

    ReplyDelete
  22. I spent #5m to marry my wife plus honeymoon. Her father spent about 100k. Her mom, maybe 500k.

    Thank God she was a virgin and is very spiritual. I love her for that. And she was with me when I was hustling, staying loyal.

    But how many Naija babes can do that? Be honest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thousand and 1. My date has money but as life will have it I still spend on him. He collects money from me that I don't even ask back. Women struggle with men in different ways and are very LOYAL too.

      The only thing is that men even when slapped With the picture of a good girl, they would rather go for the bad girl ......

      Delete
    2. We should hustle with u so at the end, u'll say we r not on the same level with u? Go and hustle alone

      Delete
    3. There are more naija babes that have done that, stuck by men through thick and thin only to be traded up for a university undergraduate when the guy finally 'arrived'.

      I'm speaking from personal experience BTW

      Delete
  23. Una never tire for all this marriage talk?
    Is marriage your ticket to heaven?
    I'm yet to read your debates on how to make heaven and be a better person to people around and our society...
    Everyday is marriage this marriage that...
    Or advice to women do this or that...
    Enough already...
    Who go marry go marry... Good or bad...
    Rich or poor... Fine or ugly...
    Hian! This marriage talk has being over flogged on the blog...
    If you air your opinion, they call you frustrated aunty whatever...

    Some of you need to understand that not everyone wants to get married... Both men and women..
    Some like their freedom to themselves alone...
    Yes! We all want/need company, but not to be tied down with responsibilities that comes with marriage...
    Again, we all have our taste... What I want in a man might not be what someone else wants...
    I've being approached by men for marriage but I refused cos they aren't my spec...
    I mean, I should atleast like 60% in a man b4 I even consider dating him and then with time we can adjust some things...

    If there's no chemistry between myself and a guy, I cant date him let alone marry him...

    Meanwhile some of you married someone you can't gladly kiss and lick your lips, still you come here to blab... 'Could that be love?

    My ex boss married at almost 37...
    She's beauty and brain... Plus rich...
    Men were coming left, right and centre...
    Sometimes during val's, secret admirers would bring flowers and some gifts to us for her and when she comes and opens them, no name, or she doesn't even know the dudes...
    She was that hot...
    Still she refused their proposals until she met someone that compliments her...

    Just ystday, one of my toaster / suitor told me he was in my state that my people are nice, that he really wanna settle down with me... I told him 'ehen, since you're in my village go and meet my ancestors and tell them you wanna marry me... Dude got angry and called me unserious...
    **it haff do** phew

    ReplyDelete
  24. One Unilag babe told me she prefers sleeping with married men than dating her mates. She doesn't talk to boys in her school.

    I met my wife in uni.


    How will babes get married when even from 200 level, they have started chasing married men?

    ReplyDelete
  25. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
    .
    Marriage nobi small thing shah....
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    ReplyDelete
  26. SiSi TrAnz4mErs29 July 2015 at 13:26

    Well said! ...#dropsmic

    ReplyDelete
  27. some men are not worth to be called a man

    ReplyDelete
  28. Nice points.
    When a guy is ready, he'll definitely settle down, just that our ladies have been given them SEX back and front and after it, they will still cook for them free of charge that's why.
    Gf/bf relationship no be wife/husband relationship and if a guy is not matured enough, he'll never marry.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thumbs up sista....all dese men Dem Neva ready to marry. #QED

    ReplyDelete
  30. The problem is not getting married, dear Bvs but staying married. Marital love isnt about feeling but being commited to make it work. I remember a good friend that had a thing for very beautiful girls, he claimed that he can endure insults from a beautiful wife but not from an "ugly" one. He got his heart desire but oh.. a mannerless one. His wife embarassed him several times in front of clients and neighbours. Locked his mum out of their house cos the woman didnt give them prior notice before visiting. Dude endured this for 11 years and finally threw in the towel after she threw her regular tantrums and left the house with their 4 kids. She thought that as usual the man will come pleading and running but the poor man was tired of the whole ish.
    Get married because u want to be someone's life partner not because you want to be husband/wife. Marriage is garbage, Garbage out.

    ReplyDelete
  31. MMMMM I read all these stories and am really touched and felt for reserved ladies who really wanna get married. You don't wanna give sex, and men run away. And if you give sex hundred times in a week, he will never propose because sex cannot keep a man. What will you do?

    The same man that claimed that he has not gotten a wife material, ask him if he is a a good husband material.

    Imagine a man will list hard working and financially ok, to the criterias he is looking for in a woman to marry, but when he get one, he will still complain that the lady is exposed and cannot be submissive and will not even be homely.

    Virtually nothing can be done to satisfy any man to propose you for marriage this time around, its always from one excuse to another.

    The end time has come, the time predicted that seven hardworking ladies will attached themselves to an unserious man and will beg "pls just marry all of us, we will use our money and all resources to take care of you, just don't let us to be mocked"...

    Congratulations to those women who had found their husbands, because that is the greatest gift any lady can have at present. To those ladies who are still searching, You will get someday, just don't be frustrated and check out

    CLICK:
    Reasons why he will never propose

    How to attract the man you love to propose

    ReplyDelete
  32. OP. Now that you have finished your thesis. Oya grab rope, tie man and drag am go marry. Person share concerns wey guys no wan marry, you carry rebuttal join. Did your expose' change anything? No. So na wasted space.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Nice one dear, hope d men have heard u clearly. Kisses from me to you

    ReplyDelete
  34. Plenty marriage talk abeg. Sometimes love happens when you aren't even searching. I broke up with my ex and 5 days later I met my hubby. He proposed after about 7 months and we got married 3 months later. All these happened in less than a year.
    Am we happy? Absolutely! He is the best! Thing is you come into someone's life when they are ready and you click and that's it! A man that is ready is ready, my hubby was ready, I was even the one holding back. Did he have a job? No. He was just graduating but we stayed together, prayed and fasted together and 2 months later, he got a job.
    When you see a reasonable, grounded man you'll know. Not all these swag yeye that are still looking for chop clean mouth. Respect yourselves, you have no business being with a man who has no plans and directions! Overall, everyone can't marry at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh pls... u shudn't av come under anon... we need to kno u so dem ladies can learn from you. You met ur hubby when he was jobless, buh prayed, and fasted together and he got a job...That's wat a woman is supposed to be to a man. He must av been overlooked by other 'wise' gals buh u had the eyes to see his values, and purpose thru his rags.
      My dear, not many gals have eyes to see a reasonable, and grounded man o.. they can only see d swagg, n money.

      Delete
  35. I completely believe all men knows what they want in a woman.
    And women we shouldn't get it twisted, if he has not said I will marry you, it means he is not thinking about it or at least not with you.
    Then ask or define the whole thing instead of staying in a worthless relationship, except, you as the woman is gaining your own.

    All men knows what they want in a woman, who they want to marry of their numerous GF and when they want to marry.

    Women try and be wise...
    If he isn't saying those words, telling you about the future, it only means no future.
    If he is not saying anything about marriage, it only means he isn't interested in marrying you.
    Men are WISE
    Women try and be WISE too.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Men always give excuses if they are not ready, the qestions is the man saying there are no wife material, is he a husbsnd material, is he even resdy to settle down???

    ReplyDelete
  37. If a guy loves you he will stay with you irrespective of whether the two of you have sex, or not. If sex is an important issue, then you need to be sure that isn't all he wants from you. A decent man will be concerned about getting to know your character and not give a shit about banging your p.ssy raw.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster..nice piece. Ok..before u single ladies hang us wt our dicks round our necks and tied to an iroko tree, u can't put the blame on us. Truth is, there r some married women that if permissible, they will easily get 4 men that will marry them over again. While most ladies will still struggle to even get one.
    Very few ladies really av wat it takes to b wifeable, fewer more, know the potentials to look for in a responsible man.
    And please spare me all-guys-want-is-sex ish, that's bcos the only thing u can bring to the table is sex, and a voracious appetite for material things. I av 2 close allies that all they wanted to do was jus to 'hit and run' wt their present wives wen they first met them, buh found out the ladies r far more valuable beyond their bodies-they were wifeable...my
    Guys did d needful.
    Ladies...work on ur selves both in intellect, n character, and watch as men will flock round you. Prov 31 can b a guide... it never fails.
    And y will I buy the cow if it's only milk it has to offer, and milk is everywhere?

    ReplyDelete

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