''Na wah''...
I say this word a lot but it only happens when i am tongue tied!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
CONFUSED.
Dear Stella, i have a situation that am very confused about and i need your advice and that of the blog visitors too. I Am a 21 year old girl, i just left Nigeria to study in an Asian country. Though it has been very hard on me as i lost my dad but i have been managing, now to the point.
I came here January this year so i have been here just for 6 months. On February i met this guy on Facebook, he is a doctor in Los Angeles, we got chatting and got close, so he asked me what i was doing in this country, when i could study in better countries and i told him this was the one i could afford. He asked me if i would love to study in London and i told him yes. I told him my dream was to study law in London. He promised he would help and my friends because they were interested, but that he can only pay my school fees and not for my friends, i understood him and explained to my friends that he only offered to help with the visas but that their parents would have to pay for their fees.
On contacting their parents, they were told that their families couldn't afford the fees so i continued without them. I actually thought he was joking until he came back to Nigeria and asked for my family address, he took it and traced my family and met my mother and some of my uncles. He told them he wanted to help me but he needs their approval first and that he would love to have me as a wife but that would depend on if and when i want to settle down. It was so surprising that i was speechless. I have not met him before we just connected on facebook then we started chatting everyday on BBM despite his busy schedule as a doctor. So technically we were dating on the internet .
My mum called and asked for my opinion, i accepted but i told the guy that i am not ready to settle down now and that even if i marry him say next year that i wouldn't want to start a family immediately because i would need to face my studies. He accepted that he is ready to do anything i want and at anytime. Truth is i love him and he has most qualities i want in a man, he is not domineering like most Nigerian men, but I am confused because when i told my friends about him they discouraged me saying he might be fake, that God's blessing doesn't come like that, that i just met him on Facebook about 6 months ago, that i shouldn't forget what we have been through together and that i shouldn't go back this month to meet him. My dilemma now is should i stay here?
( i don't like here and I am not studying my dream course) because I am scared if he is real or should i go back to Nigeria to meet him and process my studying papers as he promised to finance my education in London. Please i need your advice Stella and BV's.
Meet him in Nigeria,in a safe place and see if it clicks physically.those friends advising you not to go might be jealous.follow your heart.
Good luck.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
FRIENDLESS,DEPRESSED AND JEALOUS
Dear Stella ,
I trust you are doing well. I am a long time reader of your website and I'm hoping your readers can provide me with some good advise. Please do not use my name or email information. Let me give you a brief background about my self. I grew up in Nigeria but I have lived in Maryland, US since 1993.
I am a married mother of 3 kids ages 15, 11 and 2. I recently turned 40 and was so depressed because i realized that i have not formed any relationships outside of my immediate family. Infact I have no social life; I get no invitations to children's birthdays, weddings and any other events. This has led me on a very depressive path that I can barely get out of bed to take care of my kids; l can barely function at work.
My husband constantly lets me know that it is not the end of the world that I can still turn things around (he's not very social so this doesn't help our social life). I have tried to make friends but people are just not attracted to me wherever I go. My life feels so empty because I feel life should be more than just working and staying home all weekend. I also feel that things can be easier in life if you know the right people. In addition, when I see others with friends I get jealous and envious which I know is not right. This has made me very sad to the point of being suicidal but i just cant when I think of my kids. Hope to see the advise from your readers.
Join a church and start from there.Strike up conversations and reach out to people first since you thin no one is attracted to you.
Your social life died because of your responsibilities to motherhood.This happens to a lot of women and that is why it is important to keep in touch with old friends.
Suicidal?Madam it is not that serious abeg!
...............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
PERFECT MAN MARRED BY ANGER ISSUES
Hi Mrs Stella. Your blog is UNIQUELY AWESOME. I just introduced my friend to it and she asked me to send her story so you can advise her. I have tried too.
She is 30 and in a relationship with a man who is really serious about marriage. He introduced her to his family and they can't wait for her to do the same. He is caring, fun and loves her. However he might have an anger issue. I say might cos I leave it to u to judge.
When they argue (occasionally), he gets into a shouting match, flares up n storms off. Once he "accidentally" gave her back hand slap. He claimed it is accidental as her only wanted to move her from his way so he could storm off and he didn't apologize because he believes she was at fault in the first place. Her family got a wind of it and they already detest the man. He strongly condemned his friend who beat up his own girlfriend and the lady is grateful for his intervention so my friend is confused... Should she see it as a one time thing or would he continue.
I dont know what to say here but I do know that people with anger issues give off little signs in the beginning ...some unleash the dragon later and others do not.your friend will have to study the situation very well and know if she should end it or not.
I want popcorn,
ReplyDeleteWill brb!
********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Em Jay, shameless, jobless, lonely woman. Can't you ever read before commenting?
DeleteN1. Meet him and decide for yourself. Don't listen to friends. This is something you need to do by yourself, for yourself.
DeleteN2. Friends never show you pepper before. Regardless, join a church like Stella said, try to be social. Good luck. Be careful, no b everybody wey dey smile dey nice.
N3. It'll only get worse. I don't know about you o but I can't marry a man who has hit me. Also, I hope you didn't provoke him (hit him first, call his family/friends names? Because that's a huge no-no). Anyway be wise.
Poster 1, doctor in Los Angeles and he is single!!!!! There are RED FLAGs everywhere. Why isn't he trying to help you move to LA for your studies so u can be closer to him? Schools in California are way cheaper than schools in London... He is definitely hiding something. Ask to speak with his parents and family members! Visit him in LA if possible... Find out where he lives, does he have a wife already, why is he single and willing to spend that much money on someone he met 6months ago on fb.....Ask questions in a loving manner just incase all this is true. I don't know you from anywhere but there is an old saying "IF IT IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY ISNT"
Delete@anno,u been using those lines since this week,are u short of words?
DeletePoster 2 I'm just like you. I don't feel happy about it. I want to ve friends but I want friends that will give their all in friendship (that's how far I go with the only friend I ve). I want real people. ...the list goes on. Find it extremely hard to make friends even though I love gisting. ...BUT I AM NOT SUICIDAL and you don't ve to be. Reach out to people and be a "friend".that way you get friends (easier said than done huh)
DeletePoster 1, please I hope this guy of yours is not one of those serial lovers. Pray about it and ask God for direction. Don't be too quick to make a decision.
DeletePoster 2, like Stella said, join groups in church. It's definitely a good idea.
Poster 3, her family already detests the guy. This means that if she marries this man and anything happens, it will be a case of 'I told you so'
Poster 2, typical abroad life, very depressing, reason why oyibo people keep committing suicide, we complain that naija people are too nosey even abroad, with their communal spirit, they would check up on u till you are pissed. Like Stella said, start from church, say hi to naija people u meet at the stores and watch many naija movies online and from YouTube, u would feel better, it worked for me, don't have oyibo snobbish attitude to naija oh, when u meet them
DeleteHian. Your friends would have okay-ed it if he was going to pay their school fees too. Thrash whatever they say in this regards.
DeleteBut u however need to meet the dude to make ur final decision. U don't even know if he has mouth or body odour, or uses orthopedic shoes...or perhaps if he suffers any other abnormalities. Just saying, u can't make a definite or final decision based on phone calls or pics uv exchanged. Ok? But take up the offer for tutuision jor.
Poster who's lonely. Madame suicidal? It ain't that serious. What uv narrated ur schedule to be isn't unusual of those who work and live abroad. I was in ur shoes years back and heck, life can be boring if u don't have a social life. Thing is your time will be limited to work, taking care of the kids and home, and then relaxing. But u can engage in extra activities if u so wish. Like Stella said, join a local church and get acquainted with other parents from ur kids' school.. you'll be fine.
Poster 1,becareful please!pray and use ur discretion.
DeletePoster 2 Mrs lonely, I thought you had your narrative on a blog sometimes this week,or the advice they give you there no do you. I guess sending narratives to different blogs is the new trend.
New blog member don join oh, oya make una ring bell welcome me, gbagai gbagai... any special rules to abide to? careless talk nko? i don already notice Okija wife yarns, meaning rotten talk is allowed... sum terms are gettn me lost here, like gwegwegwe, BV, Shoki, Richard, tohtoh, negodu, etc..... i'd decode with time sha. my colleague introduced me to that gist whr thr guy dumped his GF of 5yrs plus, oboy, that gist peaked my antennas... the guy did the right thing jo, all unions wldnt end in the aisle, some are meant to teach us lessons and xperiences for our future life partner, if u dont go thru pain u wldnt appreciate pleasure.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to SDK blog family...
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Atheist kwa, anyway, the lord said the church is not for the righteous but for the unrighteous in need of cleansing & seeing the light, ure welcome.
DeleteWelcome to the family. It can never get better outside dis blog believe moi.
DeleteFirst of all, change your name.
DeleteBv means blog visitor
Gwegwegwe means old unmarried person
Shoki means recharge cards have arrived.
Negodu means just look at u
Richard is our way of spelling recharge
Horsebandman means husband
Causer stands for cause eg: am I the causer of your joblessness?
Aunty gwegwegwe is a term the foolish frustrated married woman in this blog have coined for the ladies in their family lineage who isn't married at age 28 and above
DeleteBv- blog visitor
Shoki ahn- originated from Stella . She used to use a particular shoki meme when posting Richard cards (recharge cards ) . The word stayed even after she stopped posting recharge cards
Totoh- a razz term used to describe the vagina
Negodu- just look at that one or something like that
Welcome !
Welcome to SDK family.
DeleteIs aii, u will decode them soon, but hey, the rotten talk, is too early for to join that click..
DeleteWelcome!!! What do u want to drink?
Hahaha, Lola Rach crazy girl
DeleteLola,ur translations cracked me up.
DeleteWelcome Newbie n change dat name osiso.
I've got a headache today, may God give you three posters answers to your questions.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeletePoster 1: be careful, research and investigate properly
ReplyDeletePoster 2: don't you have neighbours? Start from there
Poster 3: stop it, he has shown signs he is hiding the rest after marriage fangs are out gloves off. If you go ahead and marry in desperation na you sabi
Poster 2: Men with anger issues are usually the greatest condemners of domestic violence. They are defenders of the universe when it comes to other women. It is a smokescreen, a disguise to confuse people and I can see he has succeeded. They will always defend other women. But they have no insight into their own issues. Their own woman/wife/GF/fiancée is in another category o.
DeleteALWAYS, actions speak louder than words. Talk is very cheap. He has already given you a sample of the domestic violence that will be in your friend's future. TELL HER TO RUN WITH HER LEGS TOUCHING THE BACK OF HER HEAD i.e. 4-40. *omojeje*
You are in love with a man you have not met or spent time with just because he is dangling the almighty 'marriage card'? Your eyes will clear - sit down and face your studies whereever you are. All that glitters is not gold.....
ReplyDeletePoster 1, ur friends are jealous.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, u have to start somewhere and plz don't give in to d spirit of envy and jealousy biko...
Poster 3, u alone know what u want, if u can handle and deal; very well. But anger management matter no be here.
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteYour case is very common... and very easy to solve.
There are some people that other people find hard to understand and hence friendship becomes a struggle. Meanwhile, there are other people who make friends easily anywhere they go... i.e. people get attracted to their personality type easily.
But whatever the case, it is solvable..... forget friends, hustle harder...... friends will come when the party starts.
You will be shocked at how people will get attracted to you. Trust me on this
As crass and uncouth as you sound a lot of times, you sound really smart and put together half of the time. Somehow I decode someone likeable underneath that tacky and tasteless name. Oh well....
Deletetrue talk
DeleteVery interesting
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to tell you to do, but the only thing I'll tell you is, help comes from anywhere, anytime. Someone you just knew less than a week can help you. That simply tells you that God work in mysterious ways. But just be careful and wise in making Your decisions, because there are still evil people out there as well as Good people.
Your comment will be visible after approval
P1 do it..atleast get D eduction of ur dreams, if he's fake, u wud find out soon enof unless ur head is in d clouds.
ReplyDeleteP2...somethings shud not be a suicidal problem o! If u want social life, buy bum shorts. N boots, get a nanny n go clubbing every night.
P3...if u or ur friend can't live with some1with anger issues, some other girl will.
Bun shorts and boots to club in naija? Chei! Now I know never to join issues with blog visitors! If I say you're local now it will be an insult to chizoba
DeleteAnonymous 17:55 try to read btwn d lines...coz if u did u wouldn't have blabbed like you just did...Poster one has been staying in Mary land in ala America sins 1993...so stop lookin for who will yab you...
DeleteI thk u are d fool. The woman resides in d US. Aguo aghotaghi
DeleteBelle, my point exactly! You are the bigger fool! This is summer in the us meaning boots are trashed. Hahahahahaha get off blogs and get some sort of education?! Whatever happened to putting on a lovely dress and stiletto? Telling 41 years old mother of a teenager to put on bum shorts and boots to party shows how crass you're. Ebot ubom
DeleteNonye okonkwo, go and how to spell and punctuate properly then come back and reply me! And while at that look up your reply up there! Nton
DeleteJesus fix it!
ReplyDeleteJesus na carpentar??? Oh yeah, he was.... At least ur bible says so
DeleteShut ur gutter called mouth @atheist
DeleteNa wa o. How is he a gutter mouth cos he is an atheist? Can you honestly say you have never at some point in your life had questions that your pastor couldn't answer? Abeg park well
DeletePoster 1 ... your friends are jealous and it is not everything you tell them. Frenemy dont like progress on someone's life. Though i am skeptical about facebook love.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2: We have many Nigerians in Maryland.. just like Stella said, start going to a church am sure you can get Redeem Church there or anyone that will make you happy.
Narrator 3 ... Anger is worst. If the man cannot control it, your friend should run away from him and discharge him fast fast. dont come and write another chronicles if you eventually marry him.
i am out.
Poster 1: Try and snooo to get more info about him. You guys can also meet here in Naija and if he he isn't some you like, you tell him off and go back to your Asian country. Shikena. Just follow your mind and pray about it. Don't even listen to your friends at all
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I am just like you though I am still you. I am very pretty but I don't seem to have a. Lot of friends because I find it difficult to trust people and my social life is 0. Just go to church, join a unit and from there, things would begun to flow.
Poster 3: I can't remember your own story.
I tire for today chronicle, don't know what advice to give, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
ReplyDeleteAbeg i have a question for the house, would u say a girl is a virgin even after u've fingered her, licked her down there wella, received blowjob, she even helped u masturbate wit her hand till u ejaculated, sucked bobby, but the hymen isnt yet broken sha... just penetration of Dick remain, she still calls herself Virgin, and i keep disputing that fact.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIf u buy a tear rubber car & u start driving it all over town without removing the water proof on the seat, evn till 1yr u retained the rubbers, wld u say its a brand new car?? That hymen de deceive gals jo..... She's not a virgin jo.
DeleteHahahahaha...
DeleteAjuju!!...
Give your life to Christ. All these are vanity upon vanities
DeleteWell virgininty implies an unbroken hymen ..so technically yes she is a Virgin
DeleteSeriously? *sideeyes*
DeleteShe may not be "chaste/ untouched" but is still a virgin technically. The car analogy is pretty stupid!
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteDon't mind your friends....they are being jealous...you know girls nau...
But shine your eyes...don't lose on both sides...
So many people I know met their spouse on Facebook and they are living happily...
Poster 2,
Eyaaa,make out time to visit Naija for holidays....na you go run for activity sef...Maryland can be very boring so I know how you feel...
Sorry oh!..
Poster 3,
You are still asking...
Tell your friend to RUN...
Na so e dey start...from raising his hands to using her as a punching bag...
Hian!!...
The handwritten is on the wall already...
I have three frds as well Met der DHs on fbk and they r happily married! Poster one give it a shot, stop telling ur frds every moves henceforth, my dear open ur eyes and ears wideeee! B smart but don't over do it apply wisdom from above. It's well
DeletePOSTER 1...SHINE UR EYES VERY WELL, DO YOUR RESEARCH & TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY IF U ARE CONVINCED THAT ALL IS WELL...
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: Shey u'v sent this ur narrative to Bellanaija blog and they've advised u there..u came here so they'll say Stella is copying abi... U can take Stella's advice all d same..join groups n try to be free...
POSTER 3... I advise u run for ur life cos this is just d beginning. U should be glad u saw ds part of him before entering n bcom a punching bag. If u like ignore the signs.
poster 1: Meeting and clicking with a guy is not a days job, ur just 21 so ppl older can advice better.Darling, where the man is might not be where u end up tomorrow, u cannot be in love with a man u have not seen his ugliest sides so be careful. To me, u shud do ur studies in asia afterall that is what ur parents knew was best for u.Do not be at the mercy of this man just yet.If he is still interested he shud chill u have msc and phd if he is ur husband ,he will see u tru those.I am saying it cos the grass is never greener on that side uv never deeply tasted.In the beginning it is all sweet,for ur friends remember u r moving on without them so forgive them for whatever advice they give that does not suit u.
ReplyDeleteposter 2:Do u know what being suicidal is?If yes then sweerie , this is not half of what shud make u feel that way.First off, u loosen up start by meeting ppl, volunteer to handle stuffs in ur neighbourhood ,leave ur bed alone.
True talk.
DeletePoster listen to this. Finish your school in Asia. Let lover boi pay for Masters. If you quit and go to uk now and he changes his mind after two sessions or starts displaying bad character how do you walk away when you are dependent on him?
You would be a drop out so use your tongue to count your teeth
Nice comment
DeletePoster one: Like Salt just said, you can both meet up in Nigeria, visit him in LA, you still have your msc n phd ahead of you.pls don't be in a rush
Lol at leave your bed alone
DeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1--meet him up in nigeria,its safer that way,for all you know,your friends might be envious of you,either ways,let wisdom direct you..
Poster2---please calm down and drop this suicidal thought of yours,engage yourself in church activities or any voluntary works around you,please,stop wallowing in self condemnation..
Poster3---tell your friend to thread with caution..
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1--meet him up in nigeria,its safer that way,for all you know,your friends might be envious of you,either ways,let wisdom direct you..
Poster2---please calm down and drop this suicidal thought of yours,engage yourself in church activities or any voluntary works around you,please,stop wallowing in self condemnation..
Poster3---tell your friend to thread with caution..
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Narrative 3.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to advice Your friend, but all I'll say is she should watch it, because anger is a danger sign marriage wise. Anybody with high rate of anger is dangerous, even the Bible advices against such people. So she should watch it. A man that can slap you once even when you're not married to him, can always beat you to near death
Your comment will be visible after approval
Poster 1, Follow your instincts. They are always right.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Stella on did one .God help u guys
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. Make ur kids ur best friend
DeletePoster 3:
DeleteThia is what people mean when they say women see the signs before hand but ignore them.
You said he hit her by mistake? And then refused to apologise cos it was her fault? If it was really a mistake, the more reason why he should apologise.
That man is not only hiding his violent tendencies, he's very manipulative.
Biko, bundle your friend out of there, she will thank you later.
Poster1.open your eyes though,let him come to Asia and see you first.
ReplyDeletePoster2.lots of nigerian church in Maryland
You can make frd's there
Even your place of work too
Poster 3.Run,if you marry him he might hit you later
You are seein the signs now
Poster 1 - thread carefully.
ReplyDeleteDon't let your guards down. Don't be too trusting. Hope for the best aand prepare for the worst
Poster 2- you don't need friends. a lot of so called friends are snitchs and backbiters. Blike me. One man squad. Make your kids your paddies. Hang out with One or two family members your age you connect wiith.
You don't need people to validate you or make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy.
Poster 3
Hmnn! Your ffriend's husband to be seems a violent person.
I forsee Domestic violence. Run!!!!!!!
*tread* carefully
DeleteEg. like treadmill in gyms for runnin...
"Thread* carefully
DeleteCorrect her and move on.
Some peeps here like quarrelling
poster 2 -u sound obesed!
ReplyDeletePoster 1 , really in all fairness
ReplyDeleteit sounds too good to be true but hey , at the same time it could be true
just spend some time with him physically before putting all your eggs in one basket bcos u r still young.DONT RUSH INTO ANYTHING
Poster 2
I'm like that..no friends.. i got scared of friends way back because of the way i see ppl back biting each other.so i kept male friends,,but now im married, its a no-no..and i work 24-7 ..so i've managed to join conversations during lunch at work, polish up myself where i think i might be lacking physically and iv made quite a few friends now that are mature and not gossips...u need to let urself free..no matter how u look , someone will always be there to appreciate ur friendship
poster 3
errmm back hand slap already??? pls get it off ur mind..its not a one off thing..he has anger issues , so she has to decide if shes ready to stay with that or move on..hes going to keep being like that unless he changes somehow
Stella's three pieces of advice are right on point.
ReplyDeleteP1, pray and follow your heart. I think he's genuine. It might also help if you have friends or relatives in London who can do an underground investigation on him and find out more information about him before you finally move to London. Some people have very bright destinies. They don't suffer to get good things in life. Don't listen to your friends.
P2, when I was reading your chronicle, I already said join a church society before I read Stella's advice to you. Stories abound of church brethren committing atrocious acts but to be honest with you, I've not noticed that in my church. If its happening, then I'm not aware bc I'm not there to look at anybody's face. Sincerity in God's service is all you need. When you maintain a cordial rship with everybody, invitations to events will overwhelm you.
P3, he's short-tempered, and such men tend to be aggressive and physically abusive. Is he short and petite? Cos I know such guys have self esteem issues and they're the ones that flip easily. If your friend can manage him, let him go on with the plans, else, she better walk while the sun shines
Poster one, abeg don't listen to your friends oh, when I meet my husband on Facebook, a friend of my said how will man u have never meet in ur life send u an invitation, don't go, I said really she said yes, I ask another married friend of my that one said, I should go, that was how I came to uk, now have had 3kids for my hubby, don't listen to them oh, because your friends are jealous and angry
ReplyDeletePoster1, Don't be in a hurry to start things off with d guy, come back to Naija and meet him from there u can meet his family and ur family should also do some investiagations to be sure he's genuine so u don't regret in d future.
ReplyDeleteThose ur friends might be giving their advice out of genuine concern or jealousy so in order to prove them right or wrong u should do ur home work by meeting him first, ask questions, do some investigations(find out what he's really doing&who he really is ) pray about it(ask God to speak to u concerning him and guide ur steps)
Poster2, Start from d church, join a group in church, u will make friends there, and try to smile a lot and wear a friendly face if u don't so u can be approachable. Also try to hook up with ur good old school friends. Note! U don't need to have many friends because they might be trouble for u so just have them few(people who will add something good to ur life) Pls never attempt suicide because it is one way ticket to hell moreover not having friends isn't so much of a big deal&shouldn't push u to take ur life.
God bless.
All these start from church. ....church women too gossip.
DeletePoster one.
ReplyDeletePlease tread carefully ooh.. Fraudsters have different techniques they use .He can get you to quit your studies now and months down the line you realise that your folks are sending money to him "to get you into school". You see yourself sending the little money you have to him because you think he is trying his "best" to get you into law school.
Please don't be blinded by the marriage proposal.
Meet him and then make your assessment from there.. You need God,and do not hesitate to update yourself with happenings around him..on facebook,his private mails and bbm..After all,you are his "intended" right? Lol
Poster two
Your problem is not just lack of friends... Go see a therapist... You are highly depressed. Become a worker in church and mingle.
On a lighter note,hope you are not one of the people that drop nasty,wicked and sadistic comments here? Na question I ask ooh.
Poster three
Condemning other people's deeds will not prevent efulefus from pouncing on their girlfriend's and wives ooh..please take note!
A man that has anger issues is far from perfect biko!
Your girlfriend's family might be right about him.
@Poster 2, Madam you are not disabled. You are not disabled. Yet, you want to commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you still waiting for? Go ahead and jump inside the ocean. Please. Shameless woman.
Poster 1: if the guy paid your friends fees in the UK dey definitely would be singing a different tune. Take your time..see him in Nigeria no rush.
DeletePoster 2: are you on BBM? Check previous SNM poster and add female friends.. gist with colleagues and invite them to your place..it can start from them..
Poster 3: my ex raised his hand but did not slap me and we broke up. My dear na so e dey start o...make she carry her slippers put under armpit and run.
Poster 1 meet him in Nigeria and talk things over with him. I wish you the best.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 stop being jealous and start being nice to people. There is nothing suicidal about it.
Go out with your kids often and watch them play,you can meet others there.
Poster 3; u will end up being a punching bag, trust me and wise up
ReplyDeletePoster 2: in addition to Stella's advice, add up friends on s n m who are in ur category looking for friends.
Poster 1: ur friends are jelux. I want to believe he has good intentions
Poster 3,your friend should tred softly.
ReplyDeleteNo gentleman will give his girlfriend or wife backhand slap. Once a wife beater, always a wife beater.
poster 3:its better u run 4 ur dear life b$ u send in ur own chronicles
ReplyDeleteP1: Meet him first and pick up from there but pls be cautious. U only met him on social media and u know nothing about him.
ReplyDeleteIf u meet him and feel u like him, it's best u both get to know urselves better first. I think d man shld give u time. It's too early to talk marriage when u both practically know nothing about urselves. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
So many fakes on social media. Don't give in to marrying him just like that. Tell him u both need time to get to know urselves better.
Long distance relationships can be challenging so wisen up in order not to be deceived. Open ur eyes. Don't be blinded by the things u will see or d promises he will make. Allow God lead u.
P2: I know exactly how u feel. My case was that I was a pretty shy person when I was in school and people tagged me 'unsocial'.
Right now, I am working on it. Like stella said, u can start from ur church to socialize. Go out of ur way to know people, put up a smile, call them, show them u care, visit if u have time. U can start off conversations.
Is there an attitude u put up that turns people off from u? Find out. Always smile. Smiling works wonders, okay. I love being friends with women like u cos it gives me the opportunity to tell them "it's ok. There is nothing wrong with u."
Hugs dear. Plan on how u can juggle ur social life and ur marital responsibilities. Work at it. If u are determined, it will become a thing of d past.
P3:Every man has his shortcomings dear. If u love him enough to live with it in marriage, good and fyn. But if u feel u can't stand it, now is d best time to opt out.
Pray for him also. Inasmuch as we have our shortcomings, it doesn't mean we ought to accommodate them and use it as an excuse to do wrong.
We simply have to let God work in us in order to rid us of these faults esp when they can be harmful or hurtful to others. God can do all things.
May u guys get the help u need
ReplyDeleteP2: Join an interactive church group, look for people you have things in common with and try to get closer to them. The occasional 'hi' and 'how's your family' can go a long way in starting a conversation. Try going out with your husband even if it's just dinner and a movie. Take Friday nights or Saturday nights off. Get a babysitter to help with the kids.
ReplyDeleteP1: I hope your love for him isn't as a result of greed? Before you let him pay your fees take the time to think about the situation you'll be getting yourself into. Don't just use him and dump him. Your friends maybe jealous or envious but they may also have your best interest at heart. You hardly know this person and he wants to pay your tuition in the UK even though he stays in the US? If he had asked you to school in the US where he'd have some form of contact with you , I wouldn't have found it so strange. Maybe I'm biased because I find most men selfish and calculating. I think you should go to Nigeria to meet him, spend some time with him and get to know him better. That being said, your friends are wrong to imply that God's blessings don't come in this form. God will not throw money from the sky. He will spend you a helper who will help you so thread carefully .
P3: All I can say to her is RUN! He may love her but can do a lot of damage in a fit of anger. I hate violent men.
For issues on relationship, sex, marriage, family, spirituality pls visit my blog: www.mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteChoose righteousness
Poster 1: Follow your head and heart.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:Pele o. Try to get out often.
Poster 3:He hit you once, he'll hit you again, best believe.
#WhiteDiamondOut
narrative no2 was on Bella Naija na what advise does she want agaian
ReplyDeletePoster 1:its possible the guy is fake,and it's possible he is real,see ehn help can locate u anywhr,d only way u knw God is at work is when u get unbelievable help,thr are help that are sent straight frm heaven.E.g,my frend's younger sis was struggling in school yrs ago and was getin notin frm hom as their mum was a petty trader,she was stayin wit a frend whose uncle lived abroad,anytim d uncle calls he wld request to speak wit d roommate and oneday he called and requested to speak with d roommate and my frend's sister was like,'pls tell ur uncle in not in d mood to talk today' and d uncle heard wht she said and asked why,that was hw she told d uncle how she has not paid bal of her tuition,no accomodation,family struggling in lagos bla bla bla.the man said he wld help her and wld send 1,000dollars to this girl evry month for her family and her...when my frnd told me I dint blive it,that was 6yrs ago o uptil now they hav never seen d man sending them money.
ReplyDeleteI pray evryday that God shld send me help frm heaven,wht wil people wld not believe.
Poster 2:I agree with stella join a group in church,u meet and mk frends thru that medium,suicidal bawo??haba,its not up to that na... or you find frends here too.
Poster 3:people with anger issues can do and undo,if he starts with slap,then he'll upgrade to punch later.
P1...meet him first. ...leave friends oooo..dey will finish you and even snatch him from you....Be careful. ...p2...fix it jesus...p3...run for ur life...anger wetin ..so cnt he control his temper...oriegewu......
ReplyDeleteLet me waite for comment
ReplyDelete@ poster 2, I thought I saw ur story on bellanaija?
ReplyDeleteWaiting for comment
ReplyDeletePoster 2: join a church, comment on blogs when u have time, visit interesting site wt ur kids and say hello to people. Give alms and watch a lot of movie, musicals and update ur self so as to av what to discuss when you met people. Update urself always on sports(news) and fashion that way u will av a lot of friends you can choose from. Peace
ReplyDeleteNARRATIVE ONE....MEET D GUY IN NIJIA WHERE U KNW LEFT FROM RYT N C IF D RELATIONSHP CN WRK BFORE PROCESSIN TO LA, N MYN U WATCH WEL SO HES NT PRETENDIN....NARATIVE 2, ITS NOT UP TO SUCIDAL LEVEL, STRT FROM CHUR, BLONG TO A DEPT N PARTICIPATE IN SME CHUR ACTIVITIES, DEN FRNDSHP WIL COME.. THIRDLY ANY ADVISE UR FRND GETS FROM BVS HERE WNT MEK HER DECIDE RYT, SHE KNW WAT SHE WANT MST LADIES ENJOYS BEATINGS AND SLAPS FROM THIER MAN JST LYK MY FORMER NEGHBR, IF ITS UP TO 2/3 WIK SHE N D HUSBY DOESNT FIGHT IT MEANS HES CHEATIN ON HER N FIGHT MST COME FROM HER,,..SO UR FRND MAYB LYKIN DT FROM HER MAN. NO BVS WIL STY WIT U IN UR HOUSE, SO THNK ABT IT AND MEK D RYT CHOICE....MY OPINION..TOMJERRYSWIT
ReplyDeletePoster 1: watch n pray
ReplyDeletePoster 2: work on ur self esteem n mindset. I recommend u read 'Battlefield of d mind' by Joyce Meryer
Poster 3: watch n pray, if u hv inner peace go ahed. If not, move on.
poster1 pray and travel like stella said and see him but be wise like the serpent. poster2 before u say pple u meet ar nt interesting pls ask urself this question ar u truthful to others? do u really care genuinely about other pples feelings such a way that u want to help or render help? then if yes feel free to associate with pple some will hurt, help,laugh at u and so on but if u understand that all these ar part of life than u ar good to go. is nt too bad ur ar mother and hardworking one for that so balance it u can if u believe.wish u luck as u go out there to meet pple. poster 3 pls take ur time before u go into marriage with that guy blcos i think is a sign watch him very closely ask him cony questions like have u beaten a girl before? or some girls likes it when their men beat them any way is nt too bad then watch his responds, he mayb smart to decode wht u ar up to or nt pls read books on relationships it will help u more and be very prayerful. i wont wish even my worst enemy's daughter a man that beat blcos I know hw it is but am stronger now! so sis dont wait to experience it before u take action u may nt be alive to tell ur story like mine! God bless u STELLA!
ReplyDeleteFirst narrative nothing for you but good luck.
ReplyDeleteSecond narrative I for like be your friend but I got scared by the 'jealousy' part. Why in God's name would you be jealous and envious of people. Now I don't want to be your friend again - you flipping scared me.
Third narrative he will turn her to a punching bag in marriage but I know she will still marry him so I wont type too much.
P1
ReplyDeleteThe source of your confusion is economic. Whether he will remained as he is today noone CA's predict because nothing is sacrosanct and nobody stoops down to pick nothing
Make up your mind all by yourself and take a decision would be prepared to live with no matter what happens later. Remember as uoy decide that nothing goes for nothing.
P2
Family, work church, whatever , they dont ake anyone friendless.you only make yourself friendless.. Somebody can be a member of the choir and still be friendless - being lonely in a crowd. Simply introspect and detect how you made yourself friendless and take dressing from there. Friendship can start from neighbors or coworkers or even strangers you met in a bus.provided you don't have complex superiority or inferiority.
,P3
Every woman must stretch aan beyond breaking point in marriage. The real man doesn't raise his hand on his wife in such situations even mistakingly because you can't beat by mistake. However even if you live with a wife beater you can escape beating by refraining from talking back at him when angry. Soothig words douse anger they ssy
P1
ReplyDeleteThe source of your confusion is economic. Whether he will remained as he is today noone CA's predict because nothing is sacrosanct and nobody stoops down to pick nothing
Make up your mind all by yourself and take a decision would be prepared to live with no matter what happens later. Remember as uoy decide that nothing goes for nothing.
P2
Family, work church, whatever , they dont ake anyone friendless.you only make yourself friendless.. Somebody can be a member of the choir and still be friendless - being lonely in a crowd. Simply introspect and detect how you made yourself friendless and take dressing from there. Friendship can start from neighbors or coworkers or even strangers you met in a bus.provided you don't have complex superiority or inferiority.
,P3
Every woman must stretch aan beyond breaking point in marriage. The real man doesn't raise his hand on his wife in such situations even mistakingly because you can't beat by mistake. However even if you live with a wife beater you can escape beating by refraining from talking back at him when angry. Soothig words douse anger they ssy
P1
ReplyDeleteThe source of your confusion is economic. Whether he will remained as he is today noone CA's predict because nothing is sacrosanct and nobody stoops down to pick nothing
Make up your mind all by yourself and take a decision would be prepared to live with no matter what happens later. Remember as uoy decide that nothing goes for nothing.
P2
Family, work church, whatever , they dont ake anyone friendless.you only make yourself friendless.. Somebody can be a member of the choir and still be friendless - being lonely in a crowd. Simply introspect and detect how you made yourself friendless and take dressing from there. Friendship can start from neighbors or coworkers or even strangers you met in a bus.provided you don't have complex superiority or inferiority.
,P3
Every woman must stretch aan beyond breaking point in marriage. The real man doesn't raise his hand on his wife in such situations even mistakingly because you can't beat by mistake. However even if you live with a wife beater you can escape beating by refraining from talking back at him when angry. Soothig words douse anger they ssy
POSTER ONE- If the guy took the time to trace ur family here in Nigeria, he might be serious and real. Give him a chance and meet him somewhere safe but he should buy ur return ticket. I met my guy randomly at the airport but what me take him seriously was when he took off his busy schedule to see where I work, where I live and to talk to my sisters. I decided to give him a chance and I've not regretted it. Ur friends are envious. Don't tell them anything about the r/ship again. A word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteAs a young girl,I heard one of my Efulefu relatives( young man ooh) used to buy plenty drinks and take to father's of girls he wanted to sleep with...
DeleteEven to his former teacher.. he fancied the man's daughter and wanted to lay her....Took a drink there,but dunno if he succeeded!
Is that not sexual fraud?
My point is this,some of them will do anything to get sex or money...Or even both!
*fathers
DeleteThe guy is probably not in any America. US doctor in LA can't take her to school in LA, why London? She will have to move to the US right. Why not study law in the US...he will say it's hard to get in...I hear. The guy na fraud. I can get Google number and call anyone claiming Yankee.
DeleteI cant understand why no one else sees that poster ones bf is a BIG FRUAD. He was never in the US to begin with. Is he a nigerian? So he's waiting for you in nigeria atm? My dear, dont put sand in ur garri. Let him go back to US then tell him you can come visit him. Infact say u dey airport u don land. If u know the yeye yeye 419 boys r doing up and down now eh
DeletePoster 1.. flee from those friends of yours jealousy jeloma is worrying them.. even the Bible say we should take it by force.. Ngwa take ur destiny in ur hands.. come and meet him inNigeria if u are comfortable with him then you better marry and have children tomorrow sef if he wants u to bcos his kind is so rare..
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. You sent your story to Bella Naija last week.. all the advice that Nigerians living in the diaspora gave you there is not enough you still came to disturb us here..okwa ya.
Poster 3.. as this is the first time and it was an accident forgive him but watch him closely.. of he deliberately hits u any day run.. he will not stop in fact it will get worse.
P1
ReplyDeleteThe source of your confusion is economic. Whether he will remained as he is today noone CA's predict because nothing is sacrosanct and nobody stoops down to pick nothing
Make up your mind all by yourself and take a decision would be prepared to live with no matter what happens later. Remember as uoy decide that nothing goes for nothing.
P2
Family, work church, whatever , they dont ake anyone friendless.you only make yourself friendless.. Somebody can be a member of the choir and still be friendless - being lonely in a crowd. Simply introspect and detect how you made yourself friendless and take dressing from there. Friendship can start from neighbors or coworkers or even strangers you met in a bus.provided you don't have complex superiority or inferiority.
,P3
Every woman must stretch aan beyond breaking point in marriage. The real man doesn't raise his hand on his wife in such situations even mistakingly because you can't beat by mistake. However even if you live with a wife beater you can escape beating by refraining from talking back at him when angry. Soothig words douse anger they ssy
E don Do!
DeleteWhat did we do to deserve this multiple postings nna??
DeletePoster 1; meeting the guy in Nigeria is not a bad idea,just pray that u make the right chose
ReplyDeletePoster 2: try and join any unit in the church or you look for any club or association within your base
@ poster 3; a pig is and will remain a pig even if you don't wana admit it,just be careful in making your decision
P1
ReplyDeleteThe source of your confusion is economic. Whether he will remained as he is today noone CA's predict because nothing is sacrosanct and nobody stoops down to pick nothing
Make up your mind all by yourself and take a decision would be prepared to live with no matter what happens later. Remember as uoy decide that nothing goes for nothing.
P2
Family, work church, whatever , they dont ake anyone friendless.you only make yourself friendless.. Somebody can be a member of the choir and still be friendless - being lonely in a crowd. Simply introspect and detect how you made yourself friendless and take dressing from there. Friendship can start from neighbors or coworkers or even strangers you met in a bus.provided you don't have complex superiority or inferiority.
,P3
Every woman must stretch aan beyond breaking point in marriage. The real man doesn't raise his hand on his wife in such situations even mistakingly because you can't beat by mistake. However even if you live with a wife beater you can escape beating by refraining from talking back at him when angry. Soothig words douse anger they ssy
E don do na, hw many u de post?
Delete@poster 1 so they knew He was fake but wanted him to help them too hian why didn't they say that from the start
ReplyDelete@poster 2 didn't we see this story before
@poster 3.let her look well before she leeps
Hehehehe..kikikikikiki poster 3. He mistakenly slapped her but cannot apologize. Tomorrow now his dick would mistakenly land inside another womam's punani and he would not apologize.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 follow ur heart & sake God's face.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 join a group or two in ur local church, make friends in ur church or u can start in ur neighborhood.
Poster 3 u have already seen d sign.Sake God's opinion before u enter one chance
Poster 1 follow ur heart & sake God's face.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 join a group or two in ur local church, make friends in ur church or u can start in ur neighborhood.
Poster 3 u have already seen d sign.Sake God's opinion before u enter one chance
Poster 1, IF traveling to Nigeria will not affect ur education in the country you are now,,then you may travel to Nigeria and process the UK visa. Note the 'IF' in caps,,,meaning there's a condition attached to it which is the effect of you traveling on ur schooling. It will be very unwise for you to forfeit the admission you already secured for one that isn't sure yet. And when you eventually meet him in Nigeria,, try to build friendship with him first,,not parting your thighs for him. That way,it will be easier for you to move on should there be any fuck up from his end. You cant conclude too soon if he is for real or not. Be wise,open ur eyes and USE YOUR HEAD!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you want to commit suicide because of ......???? hmmm, the way people talk about this suicide thing....na wa!!!
Poster 3, oju to ba ma bani dale, ko ni fi owuro se ipin. He mistakenly slap her indeed......and if it was a mistake as he claimed,,why did he find it difficult to apologize for the 'mistake' rather he chose to shift the blame on the lady as the 'causer of his mistake'. Tell ur friend to put on her running shoes....she has not found her dwelling place yet. She has waited this long,,it will be foolish for her to settle for a man whose hands 'mistakenly' hit someone and does not have the good morals to know that one is supposed to apologize for such silly 'mistakes'.
I'll just read comments today
ReplyDeleteToday's chronicles carry fire oo, but na only comments I go read and sale pop corn like Stella ooo
ReplyDeletePoster 3 with the angry man, you will use your eye to see back of your neck if you don't give this man space. A man given to anger, who dashes slaps will beat you senseless when you get married. Yes, they will condemn others for beating and doing whatever but that does not mean he will not do it. In fact he probably did that to impress you. Respect yourself and have him work out his anger issues. IT IS DANGEROUS TO MARRY AN ANGRY MAN.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: You are quite bold, he is in LA have you googled to make sure he is really a Doctor. Have your people met his own people? You want to leave your School to the unknown. Look, do some serious investigation before you accept his offer to train you. You do not know him enough to give him this much control over your life. What if he is crazy, and has not been successful in keeping a woman because of his attitude? Once he pays for your fees in London, you are indebted to him. Please my sister, please use your senses. If your mother can train you, do your first degree and then get an LLM later. It is risky because you really know nothing about this man apart from what he has painted to you over the Internet. These men like to prey on innocent, naive girls who can be gotten with money. Biko nne'm be careful. You are asking because your spirit is not too at rest with this.
Poster 1-you also need to know of his social life,cuz some terrible people like quick relationship with people who are not in their area.its until you get there that you'll see why he couldn't date anyone there.however your story is so dreamy,goodluck.
ReplyDeletePoster 2-if you don't try to involve your husband this social thirst might cause problems,however I understand you.
Poster 3-some men that condemn infidelity also cheat but they're just smarter with it,some men that condemn domestic violence also do it behind closed doors,do you think the coza pastor preached about the glory of adultery?,its up to you.But the one thing I'm sure of is that since he can't apologize cuz "its your fault" remember that it'll always be your fault.
Chai,that's how all the Epistle I typed just vanished.. Poster one,the likes olumide has made us restricted when it comes to internet love and relationships.that doesn't mean there are no good guys out there..like aunty Stella said,first of all meet in person before you start considering dating him or marriage..in the meantime,I suggest you do some underground digging..last thing, don't send him nudes o...
ReplyDeleteThe other two posters,the lord is ur strength..
Am out..#kisses
*the likes of..
Delete@lonely woman wat exactly is ur problem wen u ve got husband and kids that are supposed to.b ur best friends? Wait make dem call u put for dem say she say matter na there u go know say too much pepper for food day also pepper for yansh, I live all alone, my best friend is my phon. Not to talk of u dat has family.
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteI would be very careful if were you. Make sure you do the necessary research before you agree to something you may regret later.
Sometimes we women get ourselves into all kinds of troubles and situations. You have never met the guy and you do not know what he is like, although you claim he is 'not as domineering as other Nigerian men'. A man you have never met wants to marry you? I don't really know how to process that. There was post a few weeks ago about the traits of a psychopath. I suggest you read it.
Please, please, please, whatever you do, make sure you take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and financially.
Stella has said it all.
ReplyDelete@poster1 : please your friends might be right, dis kind of relationship are not always what you think it is.
ReplyDeletePlease shine your eyes n don't quite schooling in your current school .
I don't trust dat your guy,something is not right about your relationship with him and besides you don't know him.
@poster2 : take stella's advice.
@poster3 : I won't say anything because age won't allow your friend 2 live dat kind of relationship.
She should advise herself.
Poster2: We can be friends.
ReplyDeleteDear student, you don't have to cancel our admission to go to Nigeria. Tell him to buy your ticket den u go n see him. Don't go to house yet o,start from public meeting place then observe,
ReplyDeleteDo not be desperate cos u ll regret it.
Make it known to him that u have an outstanding option to go back to if he is not srz.
If after a short yl u don't see any visible arrangements, quietly carry itself back to d Asian cave u crawled out from.
Remember, leg tying is key.
Good luck.
Scanners everywhere on here, no dress to wear to church, so u need help? Meaning you've been naked in your domain shey? Master degree holder "plumbing" English like sey tomorrow no dey. Smh!
ReplyDelete#notmybiz
2: Stella has said it all.
ReplyDelete3: He will beat her in future no doubt.
Sits back to read comments
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you are a mirror of me. The major difference is that i am just 25, newly married and don't even have a kid yet. Still, my social life is dead, and Yes, i get depressed about it but not suicidal. My husband doesn't help matters either as he is worse than me. I think his relational issues must have rubbed off on me without me knowing it.
ReplyDeleteI better do something about it now that i still can.
Same here. We are all not happy about it but why is it so had for us to go ahead and make friends. The sad part is that we attract worse husbands social -wise.
DeletePoster 1 ure friends are envious of ur success story. Come down to Nigeria and meet with him in a safe place. U guys can take it frm there.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Poster 1: open ur eyes wide. The guy might be fake or real. Dunno. As for ur friends, either they r jealous or just concerned.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: learn how to make friends. People like you but u dunno how to go about approaching them or keeping a conversation. Learn. Go out often. Chip in one or two things where necessary when u r close to people. Be careful sha b4 some1 will slap craze outta you
Poster 3: anger management classes is wat I recommend.
Poster 1.i met my husband via Facebook and we counting 2years,he paid my law Sch fees in Nigeria and now he wants me to go back in having my master decree,love can be found anywhere,why not try n visit him.
ReplyDeleteNawa o, abeg run joor-wisdom is profitable to direct.
ReplyDelete#1 Let me be frank with you, education does not end. Get that certificate in that Asia country and if that guy is serious about you, he'll definitely wait or even work it out for you to visit London when you're on holz provided he'll settle everything and please and please tie your legs together. Forget about your friends being jealous or not. This is YOU. Finish your course and if you wanna study law you can still do it, a BIRD in hand is still better because the future is uncertain and men do change. This is someone you don't really know but has either good or bad intentions. Always pray and be wise.
ReplyDelete#2 Sterra has said it, join a church, attend fellowships, etc you will definitely see real friends.
#3- No man/woman is perfect. I wouldn't advice you to leave him lailai. Study him and find out what triggers his anger and see how you can help him, talk to him about it. God doesn't bring 2 perfect people together just our inability to understand and as well allow God to take charge and/or order our steps in His Word. God can work on him if you tell Him to. Opposite attracts!
Na so una dey advice these girls to enter fire. She should become prayer warrior before marriage. Abeg you will ask your sister to marry a man who can't express himself any other way but through slap.
Delete...not advising her to enter fire my dear, but rather to continue studying him as she's big enough to know what she wants.
DeletePoster 1: Don't quit your studies and change your world because he said "marriage". You can differ your studies for a year as something to fall back on if he disappoints you. Come back to Nigeria and process your UK papers, if it works out fine but if not go back and continue your studies. Just bear in mind that guys have special anointing to disappoint.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You can make friends by joining a book club, a group in the church, a gym or yoga class. You can also search online for events happening around, call the organizers and request for an invitation. Have fun!
Poster 3: Shine your eyes! study the situation well. Anger issues is very bad
Poster 2- I don't understand you .
ReplyDeleteUr sucidal and depressed because u don't have friends ? Hunnay you don't know what God has avoided in ur life ! It is only those that know you intimately that can betray you
My mom had just us while growing up , my dad wouldn't tolerate friends or stuff like that and she had her hands full with us ..no time to have regrets , and she doesn't regret it now ..she has heard way too many stories of betrayal . When she's upset ,she calls me -I am her Ada . Her best friend .
I couldn't find a better solution than that which Stella advised ...join a group in church ..and pls don't in ur excitement be too friendly , I must warn u to be careful who you let into ur life ...choose careful and don't be too trusting . You will learn tho, that ur better off with ur hubby and kids eventually ..Mark my words
Having said this ...I don't think ur busy? Do u have a job? Coz I can't imagine someone with a 9-5 job not having the strength to get up and get dressed for work , abi how Una reason am ?
My work has left me little time for friends -the little I have are married , the ones who are not have jobs ..everyone cherishes their weekend like Gold Cos that's the only time to rest . It's me and my boo for company o.. We chat all the time ...without him maybe I would have emphatized more with you
Finally if ur complaining what should single women ur age without a good job do ? No man , no kids ,no job, nothing ...learn to be grateful for what u have woman
No 1 poster. I have a question for you. This Los Angeles doctor of yours, is he formerly married? Does he have a daughter? Is his wife late?
ReplyDeleteSounding so familiar
#1 Tread carefully. Your friends means well. All that glitters is not gold. Meet him in Nigeria. It is better.
ReplyDelete#2, Be active in church and volunteer in NGOs. There is also meet-ups for Nigerians. Join them.
#3, He is already showing signs. He did not even apologize!
Nitty
Hmmmm,today chronicles strong oooo
ReplyDeleteAnger issue is a very serious thing o. Please poster 3, if you feel something is off, try to treat it, if it's not treatable, run for your life.
ReplyDeleteP1 : visit him in Nigeria, meet his people and friends. Keep contact with them and pry a bit. If it's false, then he'll slip surely. Also I don't think u should quit schooling in Asia just yet. Why not bring u over to USA? Why is he shipping u off to another country? What is he hiding? These should be the probing questions 1st and not u quitting school.
ReplyDeleteP2: I think u should loosen up a bit. U sound harsh and uptight. U will make friends if u reach out to neighbors and probably church members that's if u attend.
P3: He's a dangerous man. We all have a bit of anger in us but it shouldn't let us cross that line of engaging in physical combat. Except u are d type that likes them punching u to reset ur brain. Also, why such people are dangerous is because they can kill when angry. So u decide and watch him very well. Tempt him sef so u can see his reaction.
1., there's definitely something this Dr. Is hiding.
ReplyDelete2, Madam is not that serious joor, suicide ko, onwu ni, check yourself well first to know if everything is OK with u, how come come nobody wants to be your friend, abi na no wan be anybody friend. Be careful in your new choice not friends though.
3, people with anger issues can't hide it, it doesn't take anything for them to let it out, I suggest u examine him properly, and take a walk if u have to.
Is this LA doctor ever in LA. Is he busy at all? Sister these guys are not always straight forward. He is not domineering because you probably said, I hate domineering men, I lie? Don't be silly and give up your admission for what you don't have. Married men are doing introduction these days so this your case na small matter. Enter Google, type the man name. Check if he is married...type his name and marriage certificate. Check his name and see if there are women and small kids linked to his address. Do you Skype? If no, ask to Skype . if he says he is not in town, your guy na liar. Do not quit your school until you have admission in hand with a receipt for all fees paid then call the school and check again.
ReplyDeletePoster 3 - No one is perfect and yes, some people have anger issues. However it is a sign of maturity to admit when one is wrong and take responsibility for one's actions no matter the provocation. There is nothing like an accidental slap. Whats wrong is wrong and he should be man enough to admit it. This one that they are not yet married and he is justifying his actions, thats the trend that may pick up after marriage. For as much as the man may be 'perfect' in other areas, he needs to address the anger issue. Next time, the devil will be blamed even though he would have been holding a meeting with ISIS members. An adult that cannot control his or her anger is no better than the madman or woman on the streets. Even Adam did not turn Eve to a punching bag after she fed him with the forbidden fruit.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Sorry about your situation. Would like to invite you to my church, I stay in Bowie MD but not sure how far it is from you. Kindly comment under if you are interested. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI live in Bowie too.
Delete