I LOVE sex but i dont want it everyday..lol
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE.
ENGAGED TO SOMEONE WHO DEMANDS SEX ALL THE TIME.
My name is Toun and have been in a relationship with my man for 3years and it's been off and on....He proposed in February this year and our introduction was last month and we planned getting married by November. Stella this guy is a good guy but the problem here is "sex" he has this high drive for sex.
when I visit him and refuse him sex it's a big problem and he will accuse me of cheating on him because I refused having sex with him and i have never cheated on him for once..... In-between this 3yrs of we dating the problem we always have is this same sex issue, if I have the opportunity of seeing him for 7days In a week he would want to make love for that 7days with me.....
Someone invited us to a single and married seminar which we attended and it was wonderful, they taught us how to abstain from sex till we get married.... After the seminar that day he asked if am not coming to his house I said no,because I needed to get prepared for work the next day and he was pissed because I said I was not coming and I asked him what happened he said we had not made love for more than a month and he couldnt hold it anymore, I told him he knows we couldnt do this now because we just started our counselling in church and he walked out on me......
Yesterday I visited him, we laughed and we talked about so many things, he still wanted to touch me and I told him we have time to be together and he should not make sex issue become a problem between us... It was time to leave and he said to me as i was leaving that I should never call him again or come back to his house....I was bitter and asked why?He said why will he be in a relationship and not have sex with his woman and asked if he is mad and that I should keep my religion one side, I told him we are getting married soon, he shouted at me to get out of his house.....
Please Bvs I want to know if it's a crime to abstain from sex till you get married because i am really not myself at work, I can't concentrate and he sent me a text message and said "there are so many girls out there that want sex and he will go and give it to them" that he just tested me yesterday and I failed..... Please I need to know if men are not interested in good girls anymore... Thank you.
Na wah,the problem with this kind of man is that if you end up marrying him and cannot satisfy this huge libido,you will lose him to the next available side chick.Maybe you should just let him go or brace up yourself for this same attitude every time you say no....Besides,the art of lovemaking must not always end in penetration,there are other ways to relieve tension and get an orgasm.
This your man is bad news cos he thinks with his blokos.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL THE IN LAWS YOU ARE A BABY MAMA?
Dear Stella,
I'm a 28yr old lady and here is my predicament; I have a child,whom I gave birth to when I was 16.
The guy that got me pregnant then forced himself on me,I got pregnant and since then my parent has been there for me... this guy went under the radar cos of his actions
We never dated but he knows he has a child with me.(whom by the way will never acknowledge him as a father)
Now,this narrative isn't about him,its about the new guy in my life. We love each other very much and he accepted me with my kid. The 'But' now is he doesn't know how to relay it to his parents(who knows me already) about the fact that I have a child. He's asking if he should tell them before we get married (we planning on that pretty soon) or he should wait till after we get married. Or that he should just introduce him as my brother,but I said no already to that(my son calls me Aunty) ...
Dear fellow BVs, do we have anyone that has gone through this predicament before? And if not,please what would you advise we do? Please matured advice would be appreciated.
Thanks Stella,as you post this. God's blessing always.
This is a tough one and it depends on the mindset of his family.I would suggest the both of you tell them together so that you read their body language and see their reaction.Make them understand the circumstances which led to your being preggy.if your mother in law has my kinda heart,she will hold you and cry with you and tell you its gonna be aight....do not hide your motherhood status.
All the best.
Can't deal!
ReplyDeleteMake I read comments.
********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Cnt deal what?? Did u read anythg??? U won't evn undrstand if u read...... Block head.
DeleteThank God no one replied your comment today I was ready to be your voltron! Lool
Delete@poster1 : there is nothing you can do about it.
DeleteIs either you satisfy him or be ready to be cheated upon with different side chick!
Also note dat he he has the tendency to cheating on you over and over n over again.
You can't travel 4 a month without imaging you horseband cheating on you!
During omugwo nko?
Go ahead if you are ready for the bedmastic!
@poster2 : it will depend on the kind of mother inlaw dat you have!
If you have a good n understanding inlaw, go ahead but if not, get married and cross that bridge later. Good luck
Daft useless moron
DeletePoster1...hear me and hear me well!!!
DeleteThat dude DOESN'T LOVE U.
Save yourself d pain of sending ur chronicle in the nearest future,no matter how hard it seems,walk away from this nonsense u call a relationship.
A dude dt truly loves u won't demand sex from u all d time even wen u don't want and the silly excuse he gave about testing u is a joker of d century,dt guy no love u sam sam,if u had obliged him,wld he have told u to stop since he was just testing u.
And to thing he had to tell u der are oda girls out there whom who gladly sleepwv him is just a big blow on ur back.
It means he has already been cheating on u and wld keep doing so.
If u have d sense to listen to me,id tell u to leave ds punk ass niccur u call ur man. HE DOESNT LOVE U.
Poster2---dnt know abeg bt in all dexterity,i think it wld be best if u guys tell them b4 d marriage cos it wld be a wrong move to go in2 marriage based on a lie
@sex machine man,are you ready to become a sex object if so go ahead if not let him go coz he dosnt love u,if u are married and out of town he would jump into any thing available,if your friends ce around relatives and all he would rape them,the guy no be am take it or leave it.
DeleteNot every guy is a marriage material,na girls fault them Sabi see.
Mchewww.
Em jay shift make i seat down
DeletePs 1 how can a man you engage to tell you not to ever call him again cos of sex? Me i cant tell you to leave him oh cos i will be wasting my time if i do so..all i have to say is that there is more to this is not just about sex
ps2 you guy's should do the right thing
#richbee#
Random em Jay.. Jobless mofo.. Time2grow...
DeleteAnonymous free Emjay abeg. The sex machine man is a no no. Read Stella's comments and digest it.....
DeleteAnno18:11,until u die,use ur id monkey!
DeleteJealous asshole.
Leave her alone,u didn't buy her fone,nor data.
@Elena,its neither a love problem nor a lack of wanting sex issue on her path,rather the man is just a 'power horse',he is hardly satisfied,it has nothing to do with whether he loves her or not.if she leaves,d next gal will have d same issue if she's not so freaky with a high libido.
DeleteThe only childish act from him is threatening her with other gals,wat sort of disrespect is dat?mtceeew!
Poster1,u are d only one dat knows how high ur libido is (let's keep church said' out of this),imagine u have married him,can u cope?if u can't den walk!cos marriage has too many issues to take care of dan having sex morning till night.are u dogs?
But then who knows on d flip side,he can change after d pressures of marriage and providing for family hits him..dat is under probability nyway.
Poster 1. HE will sleep with your house helps.
Delete@Elena on d poster 2 issue which lie? The parents of d guy do not need to know abt d child. It's d bizness of d couple and as d guy is aware of d child dats enough. Stella is wrong by saying d girl shud explain d circumstances of d conception in order for dem to accept. Wat nonsense. What diff does it mk if d child was gotten from a previous marriage d girl entered into? . If 2 people are in love and if they do not depend on any body's pocket to feed or pay bills methinks they shud do water pleases dem. I am a guy. My wife had a child b4 our marriage and up till today my people do not know abt it. Wat do they need that info for? My wife by d best is a great woman. The same people dat will open their loud mouth to say dat ur wife is only being nice bc she hs married b4. Mschew.
Delete*smh*@narrative 2....Africa.....oh Africa
ReplyDeleteposter 1- Almost all guys need sex like its food dont know y. There are so many reactions to denial of sex. Ranging from this ur fiance's own to irritation n ignoring u. He has shown u what life would be like with him wen u get married and then he might even react violently since he feels he now owns u. So just use ur tongue to count ur teeth. poster 2- I dont think its any of their business. Tell them if u want but ur man's support is more important and since u have it, u r good to go. And remember that his family might rain fire n brimstone on ur head n term u ho but still stand strong n always have d support of ur hubby to be.
DeletePoster 1
DeleteThere is a concious difference between sex and making love regardless of the fact that the act remains same. Your man has a high libido and always wants to 'make love' to you which is a problem you have to fix or accept. His threat bout 'having sex' outside or the fear that he'll resort to cheating if you can't satisfy him simply remains a threat. If he wants to get it outside, he wld get it out wivout letting you know.....Guys who act this way tend to behave like tender babies.....dey are always cuddly and are mosttimes dependent on their lover for advice, companionship, support system when dey are depressed and almost everything. If so den knw dt wen u guys are married and are living togeda, u'll have to assume the role of mummy towards him and make him stand strong on his own and this issue wld most likely fix itself as he becomes more self dependent.
Conversely, we've heard talks bout the bomb p***y....well, d bomb p***y is relative and depends on the kinda experiences a man has had with oda P's prior to meeting the supposedly bomb P..... I wldnt lie, we all have dat one person we can rate above odas dt gave us a mind blowing experience.....but we cnt tell if d nxt dude or lady we meet myt give us a more explosive experience and dts a risk with men who have a high libido cos you myt have the bomb P***y for dis guy and if he doesn't get enough 'bombardment', he myt look elsewhere and there's a slim chance that he'll locate a more or rather atomic bomb P***y and that wld obviously be the beginning of the end cos he wld get addicted and begin a new chase.
Its quite dicey here but if his character is representative of the tender baby-ic kinda persona I mentioned in the first paragraph den i'll advice you to still put up wiv him.....he myt change wen u guys start living togeda. Enjoy your day dear.
Li-yon Vls.
Poster 1
DeleteThere is a concious difference between sex and making love regardless of the fact that the act remains same. Your man has a high libido and always wants to 'make love' to you which is a problem you have to fix, accept or runaway from...His threat bout 'having sex' outside or the fear that he'll resort to cheating if you can't satisfy him simply remains a threat. If he wants to get it outside, he wld get it out wivout letting you know.....Guys who act this way tend to behave like tender babies.....dey are always cuddly and are mosttimes dependent on their lover for advice, companionship, support system when dey are depressed and almost everything. If he falls into dis category den knw dt wen u guys are married and are living togeda, u'll have to assume the role of mummy towards him and make him stand strong on his own and this issue wld most likely fix itself as he becomes more self dependent.
Conversely, we've heard talks bout the bomb p***y....well, d bomb p***y is relative and depends on the kinda experiences a man has had with oda P's prior to meeting the supposedly bomb P..... I wldnt lie, we all have dat one person we can rate above odas dt gave us a mind blowing experience.....but we cnt tell if d nxt dude or lady we meet myt give us a more explosive experience and dts a risk with men who have a high libido cos you myt have the bomb P***y for dis guy and if he doesn't get enough 'bombardment', he myt look elsewhere and there's an existing chance that he'll locate a more or rather atomic bomb P***y and that wld obviously be the beginning of the end cos he wld get addicted and begin a new chase.
Its quite dicey here but if his character is representative of the tender baby-ic kinda persona I mentioned in the first paragraph den i'll advice you to still put up wiv him.....he myt change wen u guys start living togeda. Enjoy your day dear.
Li-yon Vls.
Liyon you've just spewed utter drivel.
DeleteI'm with your first paragraph mr anonymous Li-yon VIs
DeleteN1, that guy is an ashewo!
ReplyDeleteU will never be able to satisfy him, even if ua married to him.
Do what you want to sha.
N2, your narrative makes me think that you are amaka that lives on my street.
Are you?
Ok...so, ur man shouldn't let his parents know for now, till you guys are married.
Cos if he tells them now, they might fight against the intending union.
Y'all should seek the face of God, and apply wisdom.
Good luck.
ur advice to p2 no make sense at all
Deletey leing beta she knw her faith n stand
u want her to build storey building wea da land fit turn to roforofo
p2 Tell dem noww to avoid future wahala nd besides y u wan lie for belle u cari for 9mnth i pity u
beha u tell em now nd face da fact of life than u saving everlasting troubles for ya self alone
Who ask you if na amaka or amara?
Delete#richbee#
Anon 15:36...nsidiem? !
DeleteI did not ask anyone to lie.
Read properly!
Lol p1, if u know u can't receive sperm on daily basis, shift o make one ukwu nnu take over. Or Google for stuff that reduces libido n add to his food or drink but don't complain later.
ReplyDeleteP2 sorry...people who have been in ur position are d best to advice u....
Enjoy!!!
Poster2, your fiance should hide it from them till after marriage. Forget all the preaching about sincerity nd stuff, this is Naija.
DeletePoster1, abeg u neva see husband o!
DeleteThat guy is a sex addict.
So if u guys get married and u refuse him sex nko? He will throw u out or sleep out dt day? Abeg let him be, if he comes bk to u tell him wat the issue is, if it's cool by him fine.
Poster 2, I belive u guys shld let ur inlaws knw abt ur child now than them getting to knw in future...
U might not like d outcome wen they hear it else whr.
@Nma Ojike, I love what you wrote. Please what's the business of the in-laws with that child? If the man truly love his wife, he shouldn't tell them. If after marriage, they find out, there's nothing they can do about it again, but before marriage, they can do everything. Since she didn't hide it for her husban-to-be, it's of no use to announce it to other memebers jare.
Delete*Larry was here*
poster 1, I don't think u have found a partner.let him go. He is definitely thinking with his blokos.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, tell dem now that u aren't married yet. wishing u goodluck
Na only me see where she say her son dey call her aunty? Hian is wa ooo!
DeletePoster one,
DeleteThe problem here is not even that he loves to have sex everyday..
The problem is that he is very mean! How dare he ask you out of his house like that?
His attitude is an issue!
Even if bvs give you tips to reduce his libido,what about his attitude and the fact that he thinks it is funny to say he will go outside and get laid??
He nasty!
Send him a text too, say you were testing him and he failed also.
DeleteWhat fuckery???
Well the signs are out in the open for you to see and make your decision, Leave him and end a lifetime of troubles n heartache or go through with the wedding and endure till Jesus comes.
Iphie,lol@hes mean!even me tire for the guy.person wey no fit control him urge still get guts to dey threaten normal pple.instead of him to be begging sef.
DeleteHahahaha
ReplyDeletePoster 1,your narrative is so funny...
The fault is from you...you started giving him sex from day one and you can't just wake up one morning and change!...
The ball is in your court...it's either you keep giving it to him or you quit the relationship...
Dude is not your match and he should go for a sex addict like him...
I pity the girl he will marry cos he will cheat like hell...
Poster 2,
Depending on the family..
Where I come from,our men don't marry minus 1..
I think you guys should hide that from his family biko...it's better they find out later...
Ur men dontmarry minus 1 but maarry plus 1 wey be ashewo and no go stay with u. U have low mindset
DeleteP1 run, run, run. The fact that he has a high libido that u can't keep up with is bad news for u. He just might use that as an excuse to cheat if u eventually get married to him. Weigh the pros and cons. P2 it's a delicate matter but I think that if you explain the circumstance surrounding how your child came to be, ur MIL might understand. Good luck to u.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: your man really does think with his 'blokos',i see no reason why sex should be such a big issue..On the other hand,how do you,a christian I presume want to marry a man who obviously has no fear of God?,he says you should keep our religion aside..meaning he's not a part of it..how do you want to be with this man forever?.if he can't abstain for few months till the wedding,get ready for worse after the wedding..plus get ready to cry over a cheating husband,unless you dont mind.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:i dont think I know what to advice you hun.
ReplyDeleteRice n stew very plenty
Am here t read comments for now!
Poster 1 ah this is serious, he has a high sex drive one and two he is impatient. How can you match his sexual libido when you two marry? Don't you think it would cause a greater problem in future for you if he decides to get it outside cos you can't keep up with his high sex drive.
ReplyDeleteI won't ask you to leave him o but please use your tongue to count your teeth, if he is walking out on you and sending you out now imagine what he'd do when he marries you and feels obligated.
Poster 2 please you two should let his people know before not after the wedding. What will be will be. No matter the circumstances in which you had your child, do not keep your child a secret.
Your husband to be is aware,his people should be told too. The person to make the decision is your man not his people. If he really loves you, what his people think after wouldn't deter him from going ahead with your marriage plans.
Goodluck.
Poster 1, dump his ass please. If u eventually get married and u get pregnant and he couldn't get enough sex from u, he's going to get it from somewhere else and I know men like him won't like having sex with protection, meaning u're in for STDs and series of abortion. So weigh ur options and know what's best for u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, let him tell his family before u get married. Even if they refuse at first, they'll come around eventually so don't hide anything from dm. He's not d only one u're getting married to, if u both hide this from them, they'll never trust u again. They'll conclude that u cajoled their son to marry u even if hiding it from them was his idea.
She should dump him so that a nympho like you can add him to your list? You people are just pretenders.
DeleteNope, I'm not a nymphomaniac. And I don't do sex dogs like d guy in question. So he's of no use to me
DeleteIf I may add poster 1 your man is immature, how can he send you such text over sex, is it food? Are you even sure he isn't playing you.
ReplyDeleteHe probably just wants to have his fill and discard you after cos I don't see the rush if you're already planning to get married. Whatever you decide to do,goodluck but count your teeth very well o. That guy is a smallie in a man's body.
p2 best and honest advice ...,Look at my eye lol please make sure you and your guy tell them before marriage ,so u dont have anything to hunt u afterwards ....if u do not u will cry for it at the day never deny your flesh n blood beta u let the parents knows about it before marriage oo dont use ur hand look for trouble urself ..cos if anyhow later dem no dem will say u charm dia son so pls tell them nowwww even today if possible
ReplyDeletepeace.
Poster1,ur bf has learn to control his libido,haba everyday? It's too much abeg,talk to him, it's all depends on wat u want dear,if u want him to reduce it, u can talk to him,if u wanna abstain completely,get ready for a breakup then,cos frm wat u said,d handwriting is clear enough for u to knw.
ReplyDelete@stella,there are other ways to relieve tension and get an orgasm? Abeg elaborate,side eye.
Poster2,do not go into marriage without ur in laws knowing u have a child,if u don't and they find out later,u wouldn't like d outcome at all,and why does ur child call Aunty?
********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
I thot u said u cnt deal n would just read comments? See ur shallow advise sef..... I hate you!!!!
DeleteWas talking and typing ohhh.
DeleteNow english teachers re on their way here.
Are u a learner? Trying to form miss ignoramus. .Mtcheew
DeleteBTW wats ur biz wit y the posters son calls her aunty? U wan take am do 1st to comment? Swerve jor
See this monkey sef de give person advice, she never advice herself finish.... "Talk to him" na so them de talk??
DeleteYou don decide to read abi? congrat
Delete#richbee#
Em Jay sha... Ba sense wahalai!!
DeleteAnno anno,hw many tyms did I call u? Wat exactly is ur problem now,jealousy? Hate? Or Bitterness?
DeleteWhy do u pple continue to use ur words in a cruel manner against dis girl. She doesnt look for trouble. Is it a crime to be d first to comment. Na ur blog? Is stella complaining? Take ur frustrations to God and leave her alone. Some even curse her, ahn ahn, wetin sef. U cowards should leave her alone. Em jay, keep shining jor, i love ur spirit. #teamstrongwomen#
DeleteAnno u re one person,stop fooling ur old age mugu,she nor dey send u,u must die for her matter bah,oya die well.
DeleteI dnt understand all u frustrated mofos dat come on dis blog and insult emjay like u pay her bills..jeez! U guys shld get a life..idiats!
DeleteThe only sensible comment so far,very mature and learned @jay em keep it up
DeleteD first anon 15:33 is someone that knws em jay in real life. That 'i hate u' statemen, def goes beyond Ds blog.
DeletePoster1 That man does not love you. Poter2 Nothing beats honesty.
ReplyDeleteNarrative1) are u aving problem with is high libido or u jst want to stay off sex till he wife u? One thing is if u are aving problem with his libido please let him be, otherwise you gonna regret it in future.......
ReplyDeletePoster 1... why will just stop having sex with your hubby to be when all this while you have been doing it...it'll be good for you to continue cos I don't want to hear story tomorrow...as if you're a virgin sef *sigh* but guyss can be so annoying sha
ReplyDeletePoster 2... get married 1st before you tell ur in-laws since ur fiance is aware no problem...my two cent
Poster 1...There is so much more to a relationship to just Sex naw what's is wrong with your fiance Sef ..he went ahead with threats on other girls wanting sex Imagine!!! He has seen you finish no respect again..Set him loose jare let him go nd let other girls show him pepper then he will come back to appreciate you more...Nonsense!!! Some men are just vain..
ReplyDeletePoster 2, if ur man already accept you and your child, then that's it! It can be between the both of you.....
ReplyDeletePoster 1, u don't have a husband in that ur guy eziokwu... Y is sex so overrated? Y bikonu?
Narr2) abeg luck up since ur man already know about ur child and he accepted u so no quams.. Don't tell dem, dey can't do nothing even if dey find out....... .......... Trending baby mama's should learn from this. Though poster situation was understandable.
ReplyDeleteu no get comonest sense at all
Deleteand u r a lady going to be mother and u giving such foolish advice ?hmm i pity man wey go wife you cos u will finish him with lies.So she must deny her bloody bcos of prik??and wot do u ppl call cheating no be same?u want her to cheat her inlaws bah?
isorit if she does write todays date down she go cry for da rest of her life
p2 face it once 4all nd know ur faith
goodluck
So u cant speak simple english??????tueh
DeletePoster 1: Sex maniacs are never satisfied with one pussy, even if uve got a bomb pussy, they'd definately cheat, & find a conviniet way to blame ur low libido, no matter how high it is..... Hw'd you evn tag such a randy dude with hormones of a dog a "nice guy"? if ure think the sex is mch right now, wait till such a guy marries you, it'd be 14times of fucking in a week, good luck to ur pussy.
ReplyDeleteP1,abeg fuck your guy
ReplyDeleteP2,abeg dont tell them anything. Your guy knows n that's all that matters
Poster 1 that guy has no respect for u.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Read my lips (lol), run away from that man, he has no respect none whatsoever for you. Let him meet other girls that are in need of sex and next time please do not start what you can not finish. You have been having sex with him and giving him daily dose of it and all of a sudden when your marriage introduction has been done you no longer want sexxx what sort of rubbish is that?
ReplyDeletePoster one RUNNNN! He is rude and disrespectful, how can he treat you like that for goodness sake. Just know it will be worse after marriage, cos now he will have full rights.
ReplyDeletePoster Two, Stella's advice is the best, let them know the truth if they turn against you, then you don't need such judgemental people in your life.
poster 1,ur guy is a sex addict, do u think he won't cheat wen u re married? well,pray for him if u really luv him
ReplyDeleteposter2,ask ur man to find out about his parents stand on single mother and rape victims before u guys spill d bean..Gud luck
Poster1, please paddle your canoe alone. Your prolly have been meeting up with his demands which must have been part of the reasons he proposed to you initially, now he has proposed, you feel you have gotten what you wanted and now claiming born again. #long hiss#. My motto in life is " NEVER start what you cannot finish". Poster2: Wisdom is profitable to direct.
ReplyDeleteI wish I'd married ur fiancé,me I luv sex hourly sef especially when pregnant,see u complaining. This life sef.
ReplyDeleteEeeewwwww chei make una see otu nmiri here ,Obo tio ti baajeh
DeletePOSTER 1: u need to run far from such a man bcos u will neva satisfy him even wen u'r married..he's going to cheat on you. My ex was exactly like him but I had to count my teeth with my tongue. I asked him a question one day and he couldn't answer. I asked him what will happen wen I put to bed. Bcos I'll need to abstain from sex from at least six months. This guy said I'm trying to change him that the highest he had abstained before I met him was one month. This guy even suggested we have Sex when I'm on my period. Chooiiii...that was the height of it. I have never seen such in my life. That's how u'll see pictures of different girls in his phone. Did I mention that we always fight before he agrees to use condom? Of which I am the one that buys the condom oo.. I fear for my life, I had to end the relationship. So use ur tongue to count ur teeth!
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2; you and ur husband should find a way to present the issue to ur in laws. If ur husband shows support for u in their presence, it won't be an issue.... ***LADY D***
U sef, wt kinda yeye pregnancy requires u to abstain from 6mths. Sex doesnt affect preg except if there r some specific complications. Except you dont want to. Be informed #teamstrongwomen#
DeleteYou abstain from sex for 6 weeks (not 6months) after delivery.
DeletePoster 1, just let him go biko and concentrate on yourself and career, the right man will definitely come around OK, like aunty Stella said"your man thinks with his blokos" biko aunty Stella post my comment.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
ReplyDelete.
That first chronicle dey dash me laugh i swear....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster 1: Your narrative is like that of someone jumping into fire, and asking if they'll burn.
ReplyDeleteNo offence, but you'll be setting yourself up for regrets and STDs,if he get married to that man.
You're not married yet, and he's already threatening you with the many girls out there.
When you're stuck with him, what would happen?
When he goes on business trips of when you're heavily pregnant or have just given birth, what would happen?
There are very many instances, I can't start mentioning.
As bitter as it may sound, this man does not care about cheating on you or being emotionally abusive.
Poster 2: It's probably not going to be easy,because of how society views the baby mama ish,but you just have to do it.
Remember,if you don't, one way or the other, the truth will be revealed, and you won't expect them to believe you or trust your word,ever again.
It's better you find out their reaction now, and deal with it.
I think that the most important thing, is that your husband to be, has accepted your child.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Poster 1:sorry ooooo ur dating my X.but d. Diff between u n I is"i neva gave him sex from day 1"hehehe.enjoy it while u can sty cos I knw ur gonn walk away as soon as u receive sense.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, my husband is just like that. He wants sex every two days. It's almost like a timetable event. No spontaneity and it was almost boring the heck outta me until I happened on d 50 shades of Grey trilogy. The books o not d movie cos d movie na overrated nonsense. Hehehe, now my husband is running.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I saying? U don give am pussy why trying to withdraw now. Lock him up one day, give him pussy from morning till night. He will calm down afterwards.
Poster 2. Don't make d mistake of hiding ur child from ur inlaws. Tell dem now. My sis in law had a child outside wedlock. My brother was relunctant to tell us what s up, it was d babe that called us after she was introduced to us nd told us dat she has a son. Nobody held it against her. Me as a mother appreciated her even more for being open and for doing right by her child. Tell dem now.
Na wa o, every 2 days is too much? Some women r wicked o. Well, dats wt happens wen u dont enjoy sex. #teamstrongwomen#
DeleteNarr 2 for mi ooo dey don't nid 2 knw anytin marry ya man n u guyz can Kip it a secret.....narr 1 hmmmm ya case bad oo
ReplyDeleteP1: Sincerely speaking, I think ur fiance is bad news. For him to go to the extent of flaunting the fact that there are plenty of girls available to him further nails it.
ReplyDeleteIf he is doing this before u get married, what will happen by the time u get married?
The signs are all there, written conspicuously in bold letters. The only time u can back out is now to avoid any regrets tomorrow.
The concept of marriage is an attractive one but its not something u just jump into and it's one place u don't want to make a mistake.
I know it's not easy especially when u love this guy and all but I suggest u forget about a man who has no respect for u nor what u feel.
I love it that u have chosen to abstain from sex till marriage. It's a beautiful decision. I believe this can also be God leading u so that u don't make a mistake in ur choice of husband because u have chosen to obey Him.
Sometimes, when things happen in our lives, we do not understand why but the only thing we can do is to look up to God and trust Him to allow things play out the way He desires them to.
His will is always d best for us.
I promise u my dear, God will bring 'him' to u, the man who will love u as u are and respect ur decisions. Don't settle for less. U are not that desperate. Keep urself. Love ur body. Preserve it.
As for this guy that can't control himself, let him go. He is d type that will cheat on his spouse and blame it on his high libido. Do u want that kind of man for a husband?
Love u dear. God bless u.
I have some interesting topics that u can check out on my blog mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com. I believe they will help:
#Ladies: Looking to put a ring on it?
#Ladies: Do this before the marriage talks with him...
#We are planning to get married. Can we have sex?
And more.
I wish u 'd take ur time and read these particular topics. I assure u it will help.
P2:What matters is that the man knows and he has accepted u that way. Meanwhile, I won't advocate that u both lie to ur in laws about ur child's identity.
It's actually a very tricky situation because u do not know how his parents will react to d news.
Some parents wouldn't want their children marrying single mothers becos they see women who have a child outside wedlock as promiscuous but ur own case is different.
U both should possibly find a very good time and talk to them about ur past, what happened to u and what it resulted in.
Understanding what u must have gone through and knowing it's not ur fault, I trust they will accept u. It may not be easy or it may be. People are wired in different ways. But u will never know until u try.
I feel it will be best to let ur in laws know now about ur son than after ur marriage so as not to bring conflict from ur in laws into ur marriage in the future.
Ur in laws may not give u peace of mind if they find out u and husby hid this very vital point from them till after u both got married.
It may make them suspicious of u and see u in a bad light. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
Lay all the cards on d table. Be open to them. Don't be ashamed. And allow God reach out to ur in laws and make their hearts soft towards u.
Prayerfully approach ur in laws. All the best dear.
Choose righteousness.
Sex, relationships,marriage, family, inspirations and spirituality pls visit my blog and leave me a comment:
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
Poster one, it's becos u have been doing it and now close to wedding you r saying otherwise. Left to me ,no need to say no now. Continue with your counselling and when u get home, bring it up again.It's this kind of person changes to no my wife leave me alone when u get married.
ReplyDeletePoster two, tell them now. No need to hide ur child whether he calls u aunty or otherwise.
Narr1. obviously that guy allows the brain between his legs control the brain in his head we all know how it is after giving birth u have to go on break for a period of time, so what happens? That means he will be fucking other woman and bringing the infections home. Pls let him go my dear am sure God will send u ur man.
ReplyDeleteN1, I don't have any advice for you because every man is different. My hubby was like that before we were married. But now, he's piped down.
ReplyDeleteI once asked him why and he said now that we are married, he's Ok because he knows he can get it anytime he wants.
N2, since your fiance knows about your son, I think that's okay. No need to go and start telling any in law. Learn to keep things between your self and your fiance.
You are making it look as if it's a big deal. It's the way you handle your pot, that determines how people will treat it. Chillax.
See ur stupid advise. Poster two, tell ur in-laws now. If u hide it till after ur wedding, whatever they do to u, u'll forever regret it. Dat is why most churches ask if there's a reason why they couples should not be joined together as one
DeletePoster1 this Sex issue will become a problem when u get married and can't satisfy him,i am not married but I have a neighbour who fight his wife over Sex every week,wife says she is tired that he luv Sex like food and want it everyday,if you want to marry him be ready to accept him the way he his and ready to satisfy him whenever he want it.
ReplyDeleteNarr2. I think u should let them know now cos some mother in laws can be horric u might decide to tell them after ur marriage and they will choose to make ur union hell, say it now and brace wat ever they say to u with good faith be a proud mother.
ReplyDeletePretenders everywhere
ReplyDeleteReading comments on chronicles makes me sleepy. Dunno y. Make una dey keep am short and straight to d point abeg.
ReplyDelete@ poster 1 ur hubby to be need deliverance
ReplyDeleteDear poster 2,am I this in this kind of drama so I can relate with what you are saying,I told the person am dating first hand that I have a son,he is cool with it,the next step I took him to my parents for them to make him understand that he is not under any pressure to forcefully marry me out of pity,he said he understands perfectly and still wishes to marry me .my parents insisted that he should have a talk with is parents if they are cool with the fact that their son wants to marry a single mum because there is no point hiding it because they will know in the long run,please dear .I will suggest you talk to your parents,lets your parents talk to your guy,and he should relate to his parents,if they accept you so be it .but please don't hide it no matter what
ReplyDeleteBest advice ever
DeleteNarrative 1; u guys being dating fir 3yrs with sex involved,u just dont say u cant anymore to a guy who has even engaged u and preparing for wedding. U need to make him realise d whole concept,u just cant say No outrightly.. ur guy obviously has huge sex drive but that doesn't make him a bad person.
ReplyDeleteSo easy for pple to say "leave him" but I dont think u should,u guys can work it out.
U too need to work on ur sex drive too cos u are a woman doesn't mean u just hv to lay back, find more adventurous way to divert sex, doesn't have to be penetration, gv him a Bj or handjob lol.
2; there's no big deal telling ur in laws u got a child,it depends on how ur fiance tells them.
Dnt mind d pretender,she is been fucking him for 3 whole years to the extent that he is impressed and engaged her,now she dey claim she no like d sex again,except she is not telling d whole truth. Stella's bvs are pretenders,and I hate pretence.
DeleteMe,I love sex,call it my food.
I just hate pretenders.
Poster 1 I concur ur predicament,I married a high libido man who believes in sex every minute and if u refuse it means u are cheating. He thinks a woman have no right to say no,we are in a serious problem now cos I can't take d beatings anymore cos of that,we are working on our divorce. So nne run for ur dear life and don't be like me. Don't ask me bcos he was not like that in d small time I kw him before marriage
ReplyDeletePoster 1 please leave the guy he doesn't really love u all he want is sex
ReplyDeletePoster 2 tell ur guy's parents before u marry if u don't want trouble later n by the way WHY DOES UR OWN SON CALLS U AUNTY? ABEG IS NOT RIGHT. LET HIM CALL U MUM PLEASE.
P1-I will give you the sensible advice and the Nigerian woman I must marry advice. That man is not on the same page as you and "your religion" will still be in his way when issues of serious ethics comes up. So it is up to you to decide what you want. This man will blame you when you are pregnant and can't sleep with him, or the 6 week wait. This man will tell you, you pushed him to sleep with someone else. He is not disciplined yet. Personally, I would leave him to be with one of these "all men cheat" girls. If you are desperate to marry, then marry him. But don't disturb our ears or the ears of God with prayers and chronicles.
ReplyDeleteP2-Stop calling yourself a baby mama. It is a dumb title. You are a single mother, if your man's family is judgmental then you have your work cut out for you. He should tell them ahead of time or else, they will say you deceived them and those type of people are very annoying. You have nothing to be ashamed of. If they can't accept you then keep it pushing.
I don't understand your advice stella to the first poster. Are u advicing she wanks off the guy. She is trying to ensure the few months they have till they are married is sex free and u are advicing she relieves him. Mtcheww. Babe pls shine your eyes. This guy is all about the body. If he loved u, no matter how angry he was he won't bounce u out of his house. He will try to see reason with u n reach a compromise even if I'd advise u insist on crossing your legs. If it was me who got that text from him, I'd text back n tell him to get lost n go sleep with tthe numerous girls out there. Let's see how long it will take him to get a shag except if it's a prostitute. He should act like the relationship means something to him but just u doing the work. So far I don't think your bf is committed enough but u will know better
ReplyDeleteP1, your fiancé lubido is out of this world. The truth is that with this kind of high libido what will happen when you get pregnant? If you are still strong to give during pregnancy what will happen after childbirth? The choice is yours. P2, tell them now so you won't have issues with your inlaw after marriage. Its better that way.
ReplyDelete1 please the guy has problem joor
ReplyDelete2 let the man do the telling biko
Poster1: I think you have low libido -ur not that into sex ..and it's okay..the only problem here is HE HAS A VERY HIGH LIBIDO..
ReplyDeleteOne would have expected him to cool down since you guys have been dating for years but he isn't . This shows its his libido-it's really high . People like that sleep with their secretaries , maid , everyone ...they love sex , are nymphos - shall we call it a spirit ? Is there a spirit driving them ?because it definitely isn't normal .
What are you to do ? If u can't cope back out now ... How u endured all the while I don't know. What u experience in rshp would be 1000 times worse in marriage .. ( ask the married women )more importantly seek God in this matter . Ask God to show if he is yours.
Poster 2 - most Inlaws even the educated ones won't accept you . Can u guys keep it within yourselves till after the marriage when seperating you guys won't be an option ?
Separating them won't be an option? I laugh in swahili. U've not met stubborn in-laws then
DeletePoster 2, I got married yesterday, I was in your position a while ago. Since your man has made up his mind to marry you, just pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you and touch their hearts. It will be settled. Pls make sure you tell them before marriage o. God bless you
ReplyDeletePoster one,
ReplyDeleteIs people like you are making some men are afraid of marriage these days,
you have now notice that the guy love sex alots which you dont like but still wish to go ahead to marry him,thats called pretender cos you are now trying to pretend your way to his life and wishing to change him later,,lady na lie u can never change a man sense mood about sex,is better you forget the marriage,from swiss
Dis ur grammar na die!
DeleteWtf?
DeleteN1, if i were you i will leave the guy, the marriage won't work. He asked you out of his house because of sex? And you don't find that disrespectful? SMH. What happens when you give birth? What happens if you fall sick? The sign is clear.
ReplyDeleteN2, Your child shouldn't be a secret to anyone. NEVER.
ReplyDeletePl
ReplyDeleteU never see husband I swear..dis 1 is gonna cheat big time on u esp wen u on ur period, pregnant, fasting or newly delivered. Beta a broken engagement Dan marriage. Wot rubbish sef! Religion aside.., n plenty girls who wants sex n u didn't reply with a stinker telling him off? I pity you.
P2
My dear as a single mum with pride u should never trade ur child's happiness n rights 2 call u mother dat most would give an arm or leg for. Aunty indeed. Dat means u r ashamed of ur kid. U fall hand big time. As 4me ooh... any okoro preaching luv must luv n accept my dota 1st n same applies to his family. Na presence of a child De bring another com world.#borrowbrain
Poster No1.....You caused the problem for yourself, you should have set the record straight he engaged you. Your fiance sounds arrogant and stupid.I smell trouble in your marriage already, I just pray common sense set in.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.... You need to let your in law you have a child, do not hide your child from anybody, we are talking about human being and not a situation that will go away after few years.
Poster 1 u haven't found a hubby yet, even if u get married to him, u still won't satisfy his libido and he wil still look outside, and for d record, he's been cheating on U for him to say der are girls who want sex...and wat happens wen u get married and u say No to him wat will den happen? Wil he force himself on U, hit U or chase U away frm his houz in d middle of d night? Fink abt it carefully. It will be dificlt buh jst let him go if U can
ReplyDelete@poster 1.l your answer lies in a youtube message titled Dancers at the gate of death..
DeleteIt's an exposee on on the issue of sex...u will be shocked at how that 5Mins act can make or mar u..please find time to listen to it..may God give u understanding..
@poster 1.l your answer lies in a youtube message titled Dancers at the gate of death..
DeleteIt's an exposee on on the issue of sex...u will be shocked at how that 5Mins act can make or mar u..please find time to listen to it..may God give u understanding..
Poster 2 u and ur man shud tell his pple nau b4 gettin married to avoid future wahala
ReplyDeleteWhat a story
ReplyDeletePoster 2. You and your guy should pray together that God touches the heart of his parents to accept the news well. Pray pray pray. When you have prayed enough, you will have a sense of peace, then your husband can go tell them. Whatever is settled in heaven is settled here.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. As a married woman myself with kids I know that when you become a mother you will need to adjust tremendously cos most times you will be tired. You will not have time for sex weekly atimes. Your boyfriend will definitely cheat on you and won't be nice enough to hide it from you or even respect your place as his wife or mother to his kids. Please let him go.
ReplyDelete@ money makes.... get in here! This is within your jurisdiction. Lol
ReplyDeletewhy is your child calling you aunty, are you his aunty?
ReplyDeletePoster one you must be very stupid, daft and idiotic.......a guy says this to you and you want to marry him? Thunder will fire you if you waste our time bringing chronicles here after marriage.....mumu so u have no brain to know this guy has problems and can never be faithful to you? I totally pity you.....honestly am so angry and can just give u an e-slap right now
ReplyDelete