Hmmmm....na wah!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
...AND THEN SEX HAPPENED!
Dear Stella
I have learnt a lot from here and I need advice from my fellow BV's urgently.
I am 26 years old. I got married quite early at 22 and I have two kids. Early last year my husband and I had serious issues ranging from lack of respect, infidelity to financial challenges which led to our separation in Feb last year. Fast forward four months after our separation, I met and reconnected with an old friend online and one thing led to another and we had sex.
Dear Stella
I have learnt a lot from here and I need advice from my fellow BV's urgently.
I am 26 years old. I got married quite early at 22 and I have two kids. Early last year my husband and I had serious issues ranging from lack of respect, infidelity to financial challenges which led to our separation in Feb last year. Fast forward four months after our separation, I met and reconnected with an old friend online and one thing led to another and we had sex.
I really thought I liked this new guy, i was carried away, but I lost interest immediately after the encounter and stopped seeing him. Since then I have been alone taking care of my kids. Even with a lot of men flocking around me. Fast forward now almost a year after our separation my husband is back and he wants us to settle our differences and get back together because of the kids and he has also promised to turn a new leaf.
The problem now is that I am feeling really guilty and dirty for sleeping with someone else. A part of me wants to tell him and another part of me don't. Please what should I do? Truth is I still love him and want to go back to my Home. I don't know if telling him would make him change his mind or affect his decision. I never thought we were going to get back together. I have been having sleepless nights. need your advice and not insults please..
Is something wrong with you Madam goody two shoes?Is he going to confess to you too?
Whatever it is,trust me if you confess,wave him bye bye.
Some men would rather die than take back an estranged wife who strayed.
The choice is yours oh.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
LE BOO ISNT MR RIGHT
Dear Stella,
Greetings to you and the blog family. Would love to commend the beautiful work you are doing,keep the fire burning.
Please I need your advice and that of your blog visitors. I am dating this guy who is so serious with me and is seriously talking marriage,asking to see my family this July but I told him I'm not ready and we should move it up to September(we met in February).this is my issue with him,he speaks so badly that sometimes his 'gbagauns' makes me cringe.
He is Igbo and has a slight Igbo accent,he grew up in Lagos and also has the Yoruba 'H' factor. His pronunciations,tenses and diction is a sorry case that I feel so embarrassed when he talks sometimes. As if that is not enough,he eats so badly with his mouth open and makes this irritating noise while chewing.
I had a problem with all these from the get-go but my friends encouraged me to give him a try and correct him and that he could learn. Sometimes I feel funny correcting him because I don't want him to feel bad and even those I have corrected him on,the next day I hear him say the same thing again. Sometimes I just get livid with anger at the way he talks and chews. This guy respects me,treats me very well,is very generous towards me,hardworking and responsible.
Note that one of my turn-ons in a guy is the way he talks/speaks. Please did any one have an issue like mine and is there any getting used to this? Should this be one of my major considerations for a partner? Biko help a confused sister as I am thinking of just quitting the relationship.
Mature advices please. Thank you fam*e-hugs.
A man who treats you right is confusing you cos he lacks etiquette?Mscheeeeew!!!
First to comment.
ReplyDeleteIdiot,thats why u ve been cussing em jay.
DeleteMtewwwwwwwwwww
@poster1 : you are high on crack.
DeletePlease move in quietly with him n shut your mouth.
After all he isn't going to confess 2 you about all the women he has yanshed.
@poster2 : You are on your own.
Do whatever makes you happy.
N1. I don't know what it is with women and wanting to "confess". Do you really think your husband didn't sleep with other women during the break?! Don't confess anything. Since you've stopped seeing the rebound guy and you want to work on your family, go ahead and do just that. I repeat, no confess anything.
DeleteN2. You are settling. If your friends "convinced" you and that's why you are still there then you don't love this man at all. When you finally get married, all these things will only continue irritating the hell out of you x100. Unfortunately not everybody had that good education that "entered". If he lacks manners and can't speak basic English I suggest you take a walk.
Poster 1, you said one of the issues you had in your marriage was infidelity. Im guessing it was your now estranged dh that was unfaithful. Just see this as a pay-back for your dh's indiscretion. You are considering taking him back cos you've forgiven him. Believe me, if it were you that cheated he would NEVER come back to you children or not. Men don't forgive cheating wives especially men that cheat themselves. And meanwhile, you had the affair when you were separated...so technically you did nothing wrong. Have you stopped to imagine how many people he slept with during your separation? You slept with one and you are feeling like Judas.
DeleteJust forget the past and you two should move on. And if he asks if you slept with anyone during the separation, say NO.
Poster 2, you cannot correct H factor, bad english and igbo accent...unless he's a baby that can be thought new things. If it's your deal breaker, please move on. Marriage is hard enough without the basket of turn offs.
Eastwestern
Poster 1 it depends on whr u guys r frm.if u r frm Benin or married frm Benin,u MUST talk o especially if he paid ur pride price. U just hv to confess else,u or ur kids will terribly fall sick or may even die wen he starts sleeping wt u again. This is real its no joke cos I v seen some of happenedto.they separated for yrsssss,she had flings wit other guy wen her hubby came back, she was asked (as it is Edo tradition)she denied n settled wt her hubby. Less than a yr,hubby became sick n consultations were made whr her dids came out. She latter confessed but it was too late d guy died b4 d necessary tins were don dis led to his family swearing for d killer of their son less than a month,she also died leave their only child to become an orphan
DeleteThe guy I am dating now read English in Unilag. He makes small gbagauns wiv d English he read oo. That's how one day i was telling him about friend who does online travel bookings. My boyfriend replied " I also does it when I have time, I does it a lot". Na so I just dey look am. I no fit even complete the story I won tell am. It felt like my life crashed that moment.
DeleteSeriously what is wrong with women? Ok confess, then make love to him and live happily ever after. Anumanu! Common mechie onu gi and get ur kids their daddy joor. As if he didn't have sex during ur separation.
DeletePoster 2, once met someone like dt. Ewww The way he attacked his spoon ehn choi. If he talked u wwld think it was battle of musanga and hos saliva wld wash my whole face. I just walked. Pls don't be desperate. U wld resent him in future.
Lady O
@Poster2 I met my husband like that..he all total turn off can't speak can't write properly but l loved him even more I m his P R I D E, he's my K I N G. He's learnt a lot now n is still learning.. the thing is, the accent robbed off on me hahaha but English isn't my mother tongue. If he loves you, adores you hold onto it.!!! POSTER2 Just Shut your mouth there....
Delete@SHB
Anon 17:15
DeleteI'm giggling at your story.
I had an ex boyfriend, his spoken/written English was so bad..
I always made efforts to lovingly correct him while he thought I was just being 'ITK'.
Until the day we were discussing with friends and he said, 'there are two types of forgivement'. And he kept repeating it, while our friends were giving him side eyes, and trying so hard not to crack a smile. I was embarrassed to put it mildly.
Poster 2 I feel like slapping you! Dafuck?? You didn't know your turn on before you said yes?? Abeg clear road make I see front. Mtschew
DeletePoster one I wud advice u to just mute ur mouth, we dey hardly forgive Dat kain tin, p2 bera walk away u wount b able to deal wit such turn offs
DeletePoster 1..jst kip ur lipsealed 4 life cos men dnt tolerate dat oh, do u knw hw many he slept wiv wen u both separated? Are u a learner? If u decide to tell him he wld use it against u in d future so mydear it even hap wen u both were sep..y d guilt?
DeletePoster 2..if dats a big turnoff 4 u u better call it quits now cos trust me..it wld become worse in marriage n u wld kip resentin him, call it quits n save urself future embarassment.u wld find dat special some1
N1 seal ya lips, a word is enough for the wise, N2 follow ur heart. As for me I ain't chilling with no dude that can't speak good English or express himself well.
DeletePoster1,you want to start something you cannot end,yanga dey sleep trouble wan kon wake am..Do you know how many girls your husband must have slept with while you guys were separated? Madam,keep your mouth shut ok,it is for the good of your entire family.. #kisses
DeletePoster2,lmaoooo..I just couldn't stop laughing while going through your narrative..l don't have any advice for you but your happiness should be the most important thing to consider,if you know you won't be happy in the relationship; take a walk.. Lemme laugh one more time before I leave;
Lmaoooooooo
P1: Carefully worded narrative. Infidelity on whose part? Maybe I you tell us who cheated the first time, I'll take it from there.
DeleteP2: Run!
Rotflmao@ the baddest,"forgivement" bawo..
DeleteShame... second too. Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteEm Jay, we know it is you.
DeleteDis anony u no well
Deletehahahahahahahaha
Beht wait, where's "money makes you fuck a lot of women without stress"?
DeleteStella,u see how u are talking now oo as if etiquette is not a major prerequisite for social interaction.is she always going to be indoors with d guy?wont they go to functions together?its something any non socially_awkward educated person should be bothered abt esp when u have suave and very exposed friends and family.hmmm!na embarrassment to bring out' ur hubby and he will be considered local and razz.abeg Poster2,try to teach him the table manners first,den for d gbaguns,dont get tired of correcting him even if he gets angry insist and let him understand it's importance not just to u,but to himself.as for d diction,u have to live with dat as ur cross cos that one is inborn.if not because una say husbands don scarce,#rme#i will advice u to walk away#says and throws face away#
DeletePoster1,i tot by law when someone separates,they are allowed to do as dey want cos it's like an unofficial or temporary divorce?usually a preamble to divorce,so what's ur own now in trying to explain what u did during dat period? Na wa sha oo!Stella dis is d person u should have directed dat ur hot slap to.#na u holy pass my sister#.smh
Poster 1- do not tell him jack.
DeleteYou slept with another while you both was seperated. Who told you he didn't fuck other pussies as well?
Please shut it and move on.
except if you do not want your marriage fixed and restored anymore then you can go ahead and open your mouth
Poster 2- dump the guy abeg. He will keep embarrasing you. Or will you always put a padlock on his mouth? Never settle for less except if you are desperate.
Poster 2, if you can't deal please move on. It will amaze you how many marriages have broken up cos of tenses. Mouth odor, bad etiquette, sweaty armpits etc.
DeleteMr X
Queen I agree with u. It's a major issue. And it's guys like him that are talkatives outside o. I can't see myself compromising this aspect with any guy if I were searching.
DeletePoster 2, clearly u have a standard you've set for yourself, why do u want to downgrade it? Are u desperate? I would have encouraged u if u weren't particular about it...but would be unfair to ask u to go along knowing it'll always affect u now and in future. Especially when u have kids with him, your kids will pick up his bad habits. Why did u agree to date him in the first place? It means u break ur own rules when the chips are down. Please let him off because the faults u mentioned are too many to be managed.
Recieve sense!
ReplyDeleteYou need more sense oh Em Jay.
DeletePls give his number to emjay, she needs a boo, gbaguan meets gbaguan.
DeletePoster 1 has he told you about the affairs he had or still has? He came back think you have been keeping yourself, but you want to use your own mouth to bring problems for yourself.
DeleteClick on my name to get superior quality virgin human hair.
P1: U made a mistake that u regret. Though I advocate openness and sincerity between spouses, but in ur case...hmmm...
DeleteU said u both separated due to infidelity issues, etc? Ur husband was d one cheating, right?
For now, I think it's wise to keep that knowledge to urself so that it doesn't jeopardise whatever chances u both have of coming together.
U and husby still have a lot of work to do on ur marriage. U both have to bring it to the point where u both trust each other, are open and sincere to each other.
What matters right now is that u have repented from ur action and are remorseful about it.
If in future, husby decides to lay his card at the table and open up on his own sexcapades, pls for conscience's sake, do likewise. So that u both can forgive each other and get ur marriage to heal completely.
He cheated also. So if he expects u to forgive him, then he too should forgive u. This is the right thing to do.
So just bottle up d secret for now, ask God for forgiveness and work out ur marriage. U will know when it's time to spill, ok?
P2: I don't think u love him enough. Until ur love is big enough to overlook these things, u should move on and let d man be.
He sounds like a good man. Don't lead him on. Wait for d guy with 'proper' accent...
Choose righteousness
See my latest topics in www.mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
#We are planning to get married. Can we have sex?
#How to keep to man
#How do u deal with abuse?
#A true story u must read: The curse of the unknown
And so much more!
'Receive' brighter grammar.
DeleteEwo o! U r talking about my friend here, there's no need of u quitting cos we've moved on already! I told him that u r using him as spare tyre and that he is too big for that. The man that will marry u will feed u with English. That's my prayer for u.
DeletePoster 2.....You dont love him...you are staying back cos of the moneeeyyy!!!....ego bu ndu!
ReplyDeletePoster 1....dont o....even if he confesses that he had sex with some other women when you guys were not together, DONT STILL TELL HIM
Simple and accurate responses!
DeleteEgo bu ndu my brother. You never jam. Meet the one with etiquette and you go know say khaki no be leather.
DeletePoster 1 confess wetin? You drink? Abi you smoke? Better go back to your matrimonial home and pls remember, you're a virgin that was betrayed.
Shikena!
Delete°poster 1, zuzurugi mechie onu there! You want to confess what. Visit a priest and be done with ur guilt nah or is ur hubby a priest too
Poster 2..u can't cope. Find your way now!
From the comments I'm reading here (from men and women), I am convinced that NIGERIA is a lost cause because of the attitude and nature of NIGERIANS.
DeleteO what a lying deceitful cynical bunch of people! Shame! Shame!! Shame!!! And I'm sure most of you giving this WRONG advice will hit your hands on your chest and say you are a "child of God". Smh. Some of the advice here is almost DEMONIC!
Supposing the husband of the woman in the 1st narrative later on discovers that she slept with someone while they were separated? Do you think he will ever trust her again in his life? The marriage will descend into a living hell and it will be irrelevant wether he too had any escapades or not.
Once you have the mind to conceal ONE affair from you husband, then you can conceal countless. What sort of desperation for marriage is this? Is marriage now a game? Don't you guys know that some women get killed?
After God, FEAR NIGERIAN WOMEN.
I
Anon 20:43, story for the gods......
DeletePoster 1, "he wants to get back with u cos of ur kids" "he promised to turn a new leaf".... Akuko o! And u want to confess? Plz fly don't stray into closed mouth so mechionu gi seriously.... confess what? Abeg gee urself prestige mbok.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 u r crazier than crazy! Inukwam "he gbagauns" u that typed gbagaun, is "gbagaun" English? U will end up with a lebuke(bricklayer) graduate..... And am sure u r milking him dry. No lemme take dis matter personal.... Imagine what turns u on...
Don't mind her. Good command of English ke.
DeleteAbegi, money turns me on
Infact, it makes me dizzy
Poster one
DeleteThe past should remain where it is,The Past!
Confess to your Lord and personal saviour please!
Focus instead on rebuilding your relationship.
Poster two
Even though we are always advised never to lower our standards,please remember that marriage is beyond the glitz and glamour of this world.
#1...I like women like u o...u r feeling guilty even though u didn't cheat on him,u were not together wen u slept with anoda person...
Delete#2...have it in mind dat dias room for improvement...except he's not ready to step up his game,keep talkin to him about it...if u can't say anytin to anyone u r datin,den u don't av any bizness being in d relationship
Bitchplis is back! Sit on dat finger a**hole.
DeleteQuikie Quikie u no well@money makes u dizzy. Lol!
DeleteVery interesting
ReplyDeleteI laff tire at d second narrative! Igbo accent + yoruba H factor. Gadamn!
DeleteLmaoooooooo very deadly! E fit cure craze.
DeletePoster 1
DeleteI doubt u have been following this blog ardently. How many times have we preached that confessions is the Lord's?
The only person u should confess to, is God .. Remember men can never be God and that's why they neither forgive nor forget . Ask God for forgiveness with a sober heart , and he would wipe u clean off ur guilt and shame
2- I used to know someone who was like that ...sad thing is ur boo has been speaking like that all his life ...u can't change it in one second and it's also possible he's not even taking ur corrections to heart . Foundational education is very important, I can't stress this enough .
I get as that could be a turn off especially in public ...o ma se o.. If u can't deal pls keep searching ...I imagine u don't love him coz if u do ...ud look beyond the physical ...
Dear poster 1...biko mechionu, God bless you as u do so.
DeletePoster 2... Nne eh, dont give him false hopes oh
Poster 1: Since you guys were no longer together when you slept with someone else, you did NOT cheat on him! Stop dashing yourself guilt. Your sin is sex outside of a marriage (like fornication) not adultery (sex while married) cos at that point you were technically not married anymore. It's God that needs to forgive you there o. E no concern your husband. Pray to God, repent, and keep your mouth shut. Do not tell him o. Stop dashing yourself guilt. Wisdom is the principal thing.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteDon't be silly, my friend!
What do you stand to gain by telling him that?
Did you do it under his roof? Weren't you guys separated?
Btw, wasn't infidelity among the issues you mentioned which led to your separation? Was your so-called horseband a saint?
Better give yourself brain & keep shut or gerrout mbok.
Poster 2
If you feel you cannot tolerate the goat chewing, leave na; or stop complaining.
You wear the shoes and you alone know where it itches. Goodluck!
Go and confess na and have it used against u for the rest of Ur life poster 1.
DeletePoster 2, its obvious u are with dat guy cos he's prolly an IBO business man with money. U don't love him!
P1...is ur husband planning on telling u abt d scores of babes he fucked during d separation?
ReplyDeleteSome women mumu pass maga.
P2 if u. Can't cope, shift abeg let another babe take over, na now u know say he commit gbagz n chews like a kangaroo abi?
Hahahahaa. Chai...chaaaaaai..
Do I like this girl? Spot on jare
DeletePoster one-get back to your husband ok,that is a secret you take to grave...
DeletePoster Two-hmmmm,i no know ooh...
There is this my friend or rather one of my oldest patiently waiting toaster like that too....unlike yours he eats well,is clean,no Yoruba ‘H’factor,he is handsome facially and pocket wise.....BUT THERE IS A BUT.
-he is stingy,example-i came to see him one day;he calculated my exact transport back n gave me...if he gives me more than the transport,he would say i should send his change by sending him airtime..but he foots all the bill if we go out
The one that scares me most is
-If he is talking,he beats me..he does not understand his hands are painful...he cant control his hands
Blackberry... Na only u I dey see 4 dis blog oo! spot on madam.
DeleteHmmmm....cheating is a no no for me. Your cross though...
ReplyDeletePlease check my new post on my blog nd share your views. Thanks.
Mtchew
DeleteCheating on whose part?
DeleteWe have treated issues like dis here several times...you pple still end up making d same mistakes.
ReplyDeleteYou guys shld learn to take corrections and avoid these things frm happening again.
Bia this poster 1,
ReplyDeleteDon't provoke me this morning...
Are you a Mugu?...something is wrong with your head for even planning to tell your husband what you did...
You think he is not doing his own?...
You think he was celibate throughout your seperation with him...
Mtcheeeew...
Some women sha...
Tell him at your own risk and watch him use it against you...
Even if you are caught red handed,deny!!!...that's how we roll mehn..
Poster 2,
Another Mugu!!.,.
You have someone that respects and treat you like a Queen and you are there yarning dust...
Ohh!..you want someone with an American and Brit accent that will be using you as a punching bag abi?
Orinma..,
Biko leave him if you can't stay with him...there are 1million fine,educated women dying to be with him...
Inukwa!!..
Linda haff vex!
DeleteI admire u sdk queen/boss, hookup?
Delete*dat messed up silly girl*
Thank you Ma
DeleteLinda Ezeh, it is afternoon already.
DeleteDon't worry. I don't need your thanks.
Tell her o...
DeleteDon't I just love linda Eze?
DeletePoster 1.... if you be mumu, tell your horseband and see how he will react. better zip up your mouth and confess your sin to God only because He knows you are weak in the flesh.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 .. i laugh tire and i like that stella e-slap for your face. Na wa for Hfactor abi his own zenith bank na senate bank.
am sure his walking is really like alika.
Chai, u wicked.
DeletePoster 1...u must be sleeping on bicycle! U want to confess as per virgin Mary wey u be. Some people are indeed their own worst enemy. Oya,confess and come back with a 2nd chronicle. Meanwhile,u and that ur hubby suppose go for std tests cos una don use fuckery play.
DeletePoster 2..lmao!!! U just reminded me of someone. This one always have white slimy thing at d sides of his mouth and his own gbaguan no be here o!. Let me not even talk of his using 'r' in place of 'L' and vice versa. And very lousy but his money was too sweet for me then.If u can't cope,nne abeg leave him..
I'm I the first today? Lmao
ReplyDelete1] Nne are you for real?? Like Seriously?? Lol. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about cos you didn't cheat on him. You were separated when it happened, so why feel guilty\dirty for kwanu?
You will only make a mess of everything if you tell him, so let the past remain where it is biko. Keep your mouth shut Inugo?
2] This girl you're really pissing me off with this your chronicle this afternoon msheww. In fact you deserve that hot slap. Rubbish
You knew he spoke badly and his eating habit is bad, yet you kept dating him, choping his cash and stringing the poor boy along since February! Wicked girl. See lemme tell you....
Just because you find him repulsive doesn't mean other babes out there will, so please little Miss Perfect biko leave my brother alone so he can go out there and find his God chosen wife you hear?? It's not by force!! Nzuzu
Madam go back to you home and zip your two left lips together..lol.
ReplyDeleteGo quietly and ask God for personal forgiveness and after then resolve to forget it, shikinah!!!
#2. The choice is yours to make. But if you ask me I will always choose a man that cherish and respects me my dear...
Poster 1 Don't
ReplyDeletePoster 2 leave the guy joor cos he'll just continue to irritate you. What's the point in being with someone you're not proud of.
Y are u dumb, ur husband was also fucking different pussy without feeling guilty, I don't like women who are not smart, u claim u love him yet u separated from him, shut ur mouth.
ReplyDelete@2, I can't date a guy am not proud of, but u knew abt his bad English yet u went into a relationship with him, if u can't deal plz walk away, ur guy is a big no no for me, don't know d kind of English ur children will speak if u marry him.
The children will speak igbotic english...lol
DeleteTheir kids would speak Englibo, lol with H factor join. Bad English is a deal breaker for me
DeletePoster 2: Don't let anyone make u feel ure throwing away gold, we all have our limits & thgs we can handle, if u cnt deal with his baggage, pls let go without hard feeling, we're tryn to reduce the daily written chronicles here, personally I cnt love a girl that snores or presses fone 247 doin SDK or following one celeb or cow on twitter, I jst find myself withdrawing, so pls if it dsnt sit right for u, press eject, no such thg as pity or settling for less, men don't settle for less oh.... Just read comments, I can bet u some ladies wld suggest u gv them his contact, watch n see.
ReplyDeleteThank you. If u can't deal with it, just leave. Don't start this 'self pity' ish.
DeleteSpot on jare. If he irritates you why bother? Abeg i cant stand all the things you mentioned as well and i refused to date several guys for such things. Im married today with two kids and my hubby treats me like a queen and is very polished...and no, i didnt marry late, but i waited and married someone im happy with. Dont settle for that, leave him for girls who dont mind it. In marriage it will only irritate you more.
DeletePoster 1: Madam pls close ur mouth.. Talk t God. He"s d ultimate forgiver. Trust me if u confess ur hubby will neva forgive u even if he does he will neva forget n always judge u by it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: lmao @ d E-slap Stella Nwunye Korkus gave u.
Poster 2 you need that Stella's reset slap. Will your husband tell you his own escapades? My friend lock up and forget you ever cheated. Have you ever lied so strong you begin to believed the lie is the truth? That's what you should do. It never happened.
ReplyDeletePoster2. You need a long hiss and walking out on. You don't even love the guy, maybe your desperation to settle down makes you keep the guy so you can answer Mrs already. Have you ever loved a guy so much that even his perspiration and farts begin to smell and sound nice? When you're in love, the etiquettes will not irritate you, instead you will lovingly and happily correct him till he can get it right the way you want him to.
Now you both should gerrara here!
#DatAnonymous
Lmao! Yes! You lie with such conviction it'll turn to the truth!
DeleteThe friends encouraging her are definitely laughing behind her back
Deleteposter 1...better respect urself oooh! just follow stella's warning!
ReplyDeleteposter 2: i don't blame u for feeling that way! i once broke up with a dude who embarrassed me by asking my friends 'Are u from where' instead of 'where are u from from'.I used to manage his gbaguans before, but that incident just broke the came's back. I feel ur pain,all these local and igbotic dudes sef!
I suggests you tell him, if he goes then goodbye to him, after all you guys were seperated. If you don't tell him and he finds out it will be worst for u and ur family.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I understand cos sometimes am in that situation, but u av to accept him for whom he is or u move aside for the next girl to take over.
Madam goody two shoes. Tell fire. Poster pay no mind to this one. Will her hubby confess to her? Poster u did not cheat on ur hubby. It happened during ur separation. Chin up
DeleteKeep correcting him till he gets it right. Um doing the same for mine and its warrrrrrrr, he calls me Miss Editor!
ReplyDeleteThunder go fire am, restore all the gbagaun + H factor . These men aren't loyal it's true
DeleteThen just poison him
DeleteI was in that kind of situation have been with him off and on for 6years he loves me and I'm sure he still loves me..the ish is that he didn't go to the uni it's not like I have a problem with it back then but I'm not always proud to show him off to friends, this guy can lick the ground I walk on I miss him tho but that education factor now getting to me kos if he texts you heaven will cry for English
DeleteNow I'm in a toxic relationship wif a guy dat gives me that bullshit that he is busy busy yet he never comes around and even forgets my birthday and will still blame you for not reminding him..
Note: it's been confirmed by prophets tho that the first guy is my hubby should I just make a u turn back to him or just keep in this toxic relationship and find some1 that's if there are guys available
Jasmine u wick o.... lol
DeleteAnon 17:34 you're a dumb bitch. Be allowing prophet to predict your future. Are these two men the only ones available? If you find a new man will you die?! Mscheeeeeeeeeew. Abeg getout. Your story no follow.
DeletePoster 1,Pls hold ur peace. be Still.
ReplyDeleteAll dose were in d past and dis is d present we are talking about. SO why taint it?
I know how u feel Buh pls shove dat "guilty conscience somewhere u wont find it and plan on re-building ur life wit hubby and kids.
Congrats on ur come-back! Go wit God and Grace nne.
Póster 2,i wanted to laugh out so loud when i read ur story.it was just soo funny.infact i actually did...d way u penned it dear.
Now seriously,i get how u feel.i really do.dont doubt me wen i say i do.i have always wanted 4 things from my hubby and Prayed about it:
Ego
The Princess Factor(me Being d Princess,lol)
Good command of English
His shoes and His nails.
I am not listÃng The God factor.cos dat is a CONSTANT.
SO nne,bn dere (where u are now) and bn married for nearly Years,and seeing things and hearing things(u do too on dis Blog)would u listen to me if i told u in all honesty,to forget His imperfections and go wit dis Man dat treats u right.
My dear,my dear,he wil learn English.
he wil learn to eat wit His mouth closed.
Buh nne,a Man with all dose qualities u love Buh doesnt treat u right wil not learn how to make u a Happy wife o!
He is a good Man...Okwa all dat matters.
A good Man and a Godly Man is a rare treasure.
All dose "other" things,though nice one has dem are secondary.
Never forget dat Marriage is Beautiful.okwa very Beautiful.
And just like a Beautiful Rose has its thorns.challenges.challenges dat make some and break some.
Buh it takes a good Man to weather dose challenges wit u.A good Man dat wil not let those thorns of that Beautiful Rose prick u.
Good luck and all d best!
GW, your head is there!
DeleteTGW has said it all..a woman full of wisdom
DeleteBia this pretender just make your point and move aside biko. Always blocking the whole space typing rubbish!
DeleteAnu mpama
Wisdom.
DeleteWisdom ! Officially fan @General wife
DeleteGood choice of words...words of wisdom
DeleteGeneral wife,u didn't tell us whether ur hubby met d requirement?esp d good diction and command of english?and I bet he did!lol!so why won't u encourage her to believe she can get a man with all dat as u diid?
DeleteFor some pple such things are big deal,(I,inclusive)for some it's nothing,whichever way d pendulum swings marriage is a lifetime affairs so don't push someone into wat dey don't feel comfy with...its a forever thing!
Gbamest!
DeleteChai, @ General's Wife. I could feel the emotions in your comment. What you said is so so true. Your words ring wisdom especially the part about a good man not letting the thorns of the beautiful rose of marriage to prick his wife. I feel so touched hearing this. Please keep being real. Your words are so full of encouragement.
DeletePoster 1, I think u're a stranger on ds blog. Stella always emphasize it "no telling! Let d past remain in the past!!" yet u want to do good girl. U're still very young and shouldn't be separated from ur hubby 4years after your marriage but since u've been for a while, do all you can to get ur home back on track at least for the kids and please let d past be buried in the past.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, please how old are u? How can u date someone with such baggage when u knew from the beginning? It's either u learn to live with it (if u're in ur thirties) and if u can't (u should be in ur twenties) let him go because u'll be embarrassed a lot. Just prepare to live with the consequences #thatsall
Lol.
ReplyDeleteP1
Technically u didnt cheat cos u were seperated so u have nothing to confess.
P2
The choice is yours ooo...i concur with stella. Am sure alot of peeps will rather trade bad english for respect
Poster1: you better shot your mouth.
ReplyDeletePoster2: you have no problem.
Pathetic posts
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeletePls keep your mouth shut!
You did nothing wrong by tasting another dick while you guys got seperated.
I don't understand why you even had to go back to him.....mtchew!
Poster 2
Pls let him go if you cannot love him for whom he is!
Am sure you don't deserve him.
ReplyDeletePoster one.....taaaaaa. ..just keep shut .....forming goody two shoes yet you still had sex....you had it on a break let it remain there. ..whether he is going to tell you his sexcapades or not ain't my biz....its a man's world...He tells you he plugged a drain. ..We would applaud him for being sincere you tell him your nut got screwed you remain the woman who didn't put in effort to build her home.
So now receive sense and close both north and south holes (south for men asides ya husband after you both have fully reconciled and gone for HIV screening and veneral disease screening)
Poster. ..2. ...everyman to his kettle since you can't rationalise and accept that not all good gifts have shiny wrapping paper ..leave him and go in search of your...innit speaking man....
bia. ....igbo or yoruba accent.....is English ya mother tongue? ...just negodi. .using the tongue of a foreigner to decide on marrying your country man....bia chop anoda slap..
I would rather have a man who lacks etiquette and treats me right than a man who is prim and proper even in being stingy,being a cheat ,being a wife beater,and being a disrespectful scumbag.
Gbamest
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
ReplyDelete.
1. Tell him and free urself, beside yu two were not together when the whole sex happened and if he truelly love yu then he will stay.....
.
.
2. Is not easy but keep teaching him and drop that embarrassment ok but dont quit the relationship bcos yu will be hurt as fuck in the past and may be if yu want to go back it will be too late....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Lolxx@poster1 y do I hav d feelings dat u are Sophia, Ezekiel's wife the civil defence guy, u don taya ni? I tut u can do it alone some women be forming super woman! U left ur home wit 2 kids for d girls u accused ur hubby of shm on u
DeletePoster1.pls keep that as a secret for the rest of your life!
ReplyDeleteAm sure he will not tell you how many girls he fucked when you guys were separated
Poster2.Trust me another girl will appreciate him for who he his
Or let him take adult evening class
P1, there are little little secrets that are meant to remain in a closet, if u want to open yours, na ur headache.
ReplyDeleteP2, pls let the man go, its obvious he loves you but you don't. If you do, all those things wouldn't have mattered.
Poster one, I don't have advice for you
ReplyDeletePoster two, I equally do have any advice for you. Una two no serious, how is your question an issue? Mtschewwww!! You people should leave space for people who have important thing to say.
N1...Nope don't confess. He slept with others too...
ReplyDeleteLoolll dat stella slap made me laugh a lot..
ReplyDeleteNyways, poster 1: my dear, flush that tot down the toilet o! Osi tell kwa? Don't tell him nything o even if he tells u his own which is not even sure still maintain the silent mood...
Poster 2 : Never marry out of pity o nd with the mindset of he wld change. Maybe the approach you use in correcting is wrong.. try doing it lovingly and talk to him about it. If u can't stand him yet still, pls send me his contact lemme help "US"
Poster one, has ur hubby told u d no of ladies he slept with too? Don't be foolish by saying love pushed u into confessing, tell it to God, God will forgive u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I pity u. Do u know how many ladies will trade a dictionary guy for dat ur platter of gold that would appreciate n know d worth of a learned wife like u? Biko, u need serious e flogging!
Poster 1 abeg stop feeling guilty if you must it must be to Baba God. Dnt tell him or anyone o. Just sort yourself out with God I mean ask God for forgiveness and move on.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 hummm I grew up in Yoruba land and have the H factor what's the big deal in that? When you meet people who can't speak well you will realise H factor is nothing. God help you.
Abella
Biko, poster 2 can you give me his links and i promise you that in two weeks you wont notice all these rubbish you complaining about. The truth of the matter is that you don't love him enough...period.
ReplyDeleteBiko, poster 2 can you give me his links and i promise you that in 2 weeks time you won't notice all these rubbish you complaining about. The truth of the matter is that you don't love him enough to marry him....period.
ReplyDeleteDear Great confessor,
ReplyDeletePlease keep quiet, sew up your mouth, tie up your lips. If you are bored and you dont know what to do with your mouth, give your husband a blow job with it.
By doing so, you have made him a happier man and he will bless you for that.
There are so many wealthy Nigerian men that can gbagaun for Africa. Most rich men aren't fluent in English.
Na all these broke and stingy guys wey sabi speak English from here to Kentucky ontop empty pockets.
Who English don help???
Buy Mastery English for him, or enroll him in Adult education. In your spare time,teach him the difference between "is" and "was".
Look on the bright side, you are guaranteed that your husband will never cheat on you at-least not with an educated woman.
Do you know how many women that rejected him because of his Gbagauns?
Nne, you are his last hope.
While your mates are concerned about important things, your own is "h" accent.
Horiegwu
Humu nwanyi
XOXO MYSTERY
Ahahahaha @ horiegwu and humu nwanyi.
DeletePoster 1: As long as it won't affect your marriage, keep your sexcapade to yourself and try to be a better wife.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Too much of harlequin and mills and boons,are responsible for your confusion.
There is no perfect man nowhere.
#WhiteDiamondOut
@ poster1, pls why are u looking for more troubles for urself? Haba
ReplyDeleteposter 1: you are the one who needs slap not poster 2.....if your husband confesses then you too but if not keep your mouth shut....if he says he will move on cos u strayed then good riddance to him.....am sick and tired of men thinking they are a big deal and are the only one entitleled to cheating......you wereseperated then so was he expecting your life to be on hold till he comes back? God does not limit forgiveness to only women so if a man cannot forgive then he should go to hell....women should stop allowing men get away with so much....if a woman can forgive so can a man...God did not wire men to be unforgiving, stop allowing them oppress women in the name of their egos, traditions and meaningless excuses
ReplyDeleteposter 2: if you do not like the way he speaks then don't marry him.. there are loads of men who speak well and can treat you better or equally good..is he the only good man in this world? why do women go into marriage thinking they can change somebody? are u God? are u the holy spirit?.stella you are the one who deserves a slap cos you are just being hypocritical...if you marry him now trust me you will begin to resent him later and then become dissatisfied in marriage....what u cannot tolerate now who says u will tolerate later? lets stop all this men are scarce, I must marry or cannot get another man mentality....
@ poster1, pls why are u looking for more troubles for urself? Haba
ReplyDeleteStop dis dirty attitude of tryn to make any post about u and ur ratchet family
ReplyDeletePoster1: somethings are better left unsaid.
ReplyDeletePoster2: am sorry for you cos BVs go finish you today.
1. The most important thing is that you should stay faithful to him alone now that both of you are coming back together. let the past remain were it should be. Never you confess anything to him cos most men don't forgive a spouse who cheated and even if they do, things won't remain the same. Confess to God alone and sin no more. As for the guilt you feel each time, abeg bury it somewhere and pretend nothing ever happened, with time you'll be fine.
ReplyDelete2. All I can see here is that you don't love him. My mum once told me that its better a lady marries a man that loves her more and treats her right than a man who won't. He can learn etiquettes with time but a man who doesn't treat u well may never be able to learn that. Think it through and also pray about it.
Poster 1, Pls don't tell your husband, i am talking from experience, he will never trust you, I have trust issues with my wife bcos she told me she cheated on me weeks before we got married. I forgave her yeah but I have not forgotten. We are working on my trust right now, save him the stress, don't ever tell him.
ReplyDeletePoster one-get back to your husband ok,that is a secret you take to grave...
ReplyDeletePoster Two-hmmmm,i no know ooh...
There is this my friend or rather one of my oldest patiently waiting toaster like that too....unlike yours he eats well,is clean,no Yoruba ‘H’factor,he is handsome facially and pocket wise.....BUT THERE IS A BUT.
-he is stingy,example-i came to see him one day;he calculated my exact transport back n gave me...if he gives me more than the transport,he would say i should send his change by sending him airtime..but he foots all the bill if we go out
The one that scares me most is
-If he is talking,he beats me..he does not understand his hands are painful...he cant control his hands
Hahahahahahahahahaha....
DeleteLmao...
Loooool. Hilarious. Can't deal!
DeleteBwahahahahahahaha
DeleteBwahahahahahahaha....
what is with insulting her cos she doesn't like his way of speaking?....I never dated such and I ended up marrying someone who speaks well like myself....who says u cannot meet someone with your spec? pls don't let people here blackmail you cos of that, he is not the only guy in the world...there are loads of well mannered guys who speak well...what if he doesn't change after u marry him how will u cope.....sorry cant deal abeg..am a graduate who speaks well, no way would I have married a man with any accent and plenty gbagauns. you don't like it then leave him and wait for another, it is not a crime with God....
ReplyDeleteEvery human being that speaks have an accent.
DeleteI'm*
DeleteNobody is blackmailing her. The thing is why go into it initially and start nagging? I hate such talks abeg
Poster 1:please dnt tell ur husband anytin abt anytin you did while you both were seperated.because technically you were not together so it doesn't really count as infidelity.ok.while for you Poster 2:i would advice you to stay with dat guy cos he definitely will learn those tins dat you want if you're patient wit him to always teach him and remind him.he treats you right for crying out loud so please dnt use ur hand to cause wahala for urself.
ReplyDeletepost 2 it depends on you, i dont think is a big deal!
ReplyDeleteposter 1, u dont owe him an apology better zip ur month with super glue abegOooooo!
honeybee what rubbish are u saying? so cos she is in her 30s she must manage cos in your mind no hope for another again? that's how u all marrying cos of desperation and come here to give chronicles.....pls if you don't want it let him go...and I hope you are not with him cos of money, cos my dear when u do marry himthat money will not save you from the frustration of the irritating all those annoying habits will give you.nobody is perfect but we all have things we can tolerate.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,general's wife, u spoke so so well..Poster,pls listen 2dis advice &take it..
ReplyDeleteOn a 2nd tot,how do I get my own ID?...
my dear.. im still suffering it ooo..dnt open ur mouth.. i was doing goody two shoes and i went to open my mouth..DNT TRY IT..
ReplyDeletepls im one of those who can get turned on by the way a guy talks..its one of those things that catch my attention..pls dnt settle for him because he loves u and u want to manage..u would end up leaving him anyway since u r not contented..unless u can honestly get past that and love him
HAA igbo accent with Yoruba H factor..I'll love to hear that
Yoruba Gbagaun + Igbo accent = ???
ReplyDeleteLol!
I'm a man and I'm begging you - PLEASE LEAVE THE GUY.
There are many women out there who'll love his bullet peppered hybrid accent. Marriage is a very complex institution. Many men change after marriage and kids, "when dem don see you finish" and you start wearing that big pant that looks like shopping bag. My own very sister whom one money bag was begging to marry him for almost 3 years, no be one day she cry come my house after marriage plus 2 kids because the guy give am hot slap in the presence of their Mopol. Na so this your treat-you-well-hard-working guy go take reply you with hot slap when you correct his gbagaun, after marriage plus 4 kids.
If he's irritating you now, I can only imagine how it will be in marriage. Abeg nor go turn yourself to punching bag.
Thank you for this comment. Desperate women every where.. Asking her to stay even though its obvious the guy irritates her.
DeletePlease do not lower your expectations.
Im not a beauty queen, but my taste is very handsome men. I even rejected a few that did not have the full package. And today im married to my ideal man. When im angry at him i try not to look at his face cos my heart would immediately melt and id start smiling.
Eastwestern
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha @ big pant like shopping bag
Delete1- Sterra has said it all. Lol@madam goody shoes.
ReplyDeleteYour husband won't tell u what he did. Ask God for forgiveness n reconcile with him while yr mouth remains close.
2- Let me help u say it. Your bobo na Igbo in Yoruba clothing. What do u really want in marriage? If a guy can brush a lady up why can't a lady? Choose one pls- Good accent, cheating, abusive husband n bad accent,responsible n God fearing man.
poster 1- some secrets are ok to keep. he wont tell all his escapades, of which i bet he has some.
ReplyDeleteAll of you condemning poster 2 sef. na wa o. Cant someone want what they want? some people would never date a short guy or a poor one. so good communication skills is a turn on for her. is that bad? i personally cannot deal with anyone who is ignorant about their grammar and wants to wallow in the ignorance.
that said poster 2, you have to decide what is most important to you. how he treats you (which i think is most important) or his etiquette.
secondly speak to him. make it a fun challenge between you guys. buy him a book on etiquette. but do all these things with love (although i sense you dont really like him but are with him for the money, but then who am i to judge)
Finally i would like to say that although i dont comment often, i really like The General's wife's comments. in fact today sealed it for me and i am officially a fan. By their fruit you shall know them. Pls be my mentor on relationship issues?
Poster one.
ReplyDeleteYou started by saying you've learnt a lot from this blog... So where were you when issues of owning up about infidelity to a man were discussed?
I don't even understand what you want to own up to, ever heard of the phrase, " we were on a BREAK!!"?
My dear, just assumed that the fling with your old friend never happened and move on with your life.
Most men can't or won't take a woman back after hearing about things like this. So if you really want to get back with your man, zip it!
Poster 2.
It's not in the place of BV's or your friends to tell what qualities in a man are important to you. People are different and their likes and dislikes will be different too. Of course, there will be basic things that every woman would want in a man but apart from basics other necessary qualities would depend on the woman.
This works both ways BTW, some men will only date a girl with big boobs for example...
Some women like men who are very intellectual, others cannot be with an untidy man, so if you already know what you want, please go with that.
Don't date someone that you cannot stand, simply because your friend thinks he's okay. You will be irritated at his every action and be unhappy with him, he will be unhappy too and that's a lose- lose situation.
If you're not willing or patient enough to polish him up ( some cannot be polished though), please take a walk and give way for your real partners to come in.
Poster 1 no telling biko.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 u ve finish chopping my bros money, u re just seeing all these now. when u were enjoying his ego, u didnt mind the open mouth and his gbagagu. cos he started talking about marriage. biko leave him cos plenty girls dey wait biko.
ok.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and 2..Jesus fix it pls
ReplyDeleteBTW, what food or cereals can i feed 10months old baby to add flesh and weight faster. he is recovering from diarrhea. he lost so much weight. thanks in advance our mummies.
Poster 2 I can relate oh to ur story! I once introduced a guy to my friend,d next thing she told me was, I luv dis guy but I can't stand d way he eats!!! Wen I saw d guy eating I was irritated too! Eating with his mouth open! Chewing eba!! And u need to see how is eba and hand was stained with soup!! Just try and correct him cos trust me wen u get married u won't b d only being disgusted while he eats
ReplyDeletePosted 1 u re crazy to want to coffess such!! Even if my bf catch prick onto me!! I will deny to my last tears! U de craze ni!! U wan tell me say d guy no fuck too, abegi only if NA spite u wan spite am. If nt pls take it to ur grave
(1). I believe the so called infidelity escapade happened while u were separated so why bring it up in the present. Don't be surprised that if u eventually tells ur hubby about this issue he will end up linking the guy to the reason why u guys separated in the first place. He will even say that u've been with the Oda guy even before ur initial crisis. Pls die with this secret for ur sanity sake. Because the trauma u will go through if u ever tell will be too much for u to bear. Even if ur caught pants down don't ever agree to cheating cos my dear this is Africa ( Nigeria)
ReplyDelete(2) those ur friends that told u to hang in there really love u.if I must be honest with u no marriage is perfect and we all have one thing or the Oda tha we over looked and stayed with our partners. U can never have it all. Forget all this instagram marriages . Ur ability to be able to love the Oda person's imperfection is the beauty Of love and relationship. Don't get tired of correcting him, learn to make fun of his errors. If people around laugh tell them that is the more reason why u love him. Marriage is not just about the physical there is more to it. Wishing u well
POSTER ONE.....WAT ON EARTH WIL MEK U WAN TO CONFESS SUCH CONFESSION TO UR IMPERFECT HUSBY DAT MAY HAVE SLPT WIT EVN UR FRNDS WEN U GUYS WER SEPERATED???MATURITY IS NOT BY AGE, U SO LUV UR HUSBY AND U LEFT HIM???U WUD VE STYD N WATCH THNGS WRK OUT AND DNT JST GO AND IN FEW MONTH U GO DWN WIT AN OLD FRND...WAT IF DE FRND WANT MORE NOW??DT WS PRETTY FAST AND WARANT NO SUCH CONFESSION CUZ IF U DO TRULLY UR HUSBY WILL USE IT AGNST U IF AT ALL HE WILL WELCOME U BCK...AT 26 U R SUPSE TO LEARN FROM PPLES STORIES AND NOT WAIT TO HAVE AN ENCOUNTER BEFORE U LEARN.....POSTER 2..IF HES NOT GUD FOR U GIVE HIM A BRK AND STOP DECEIVIN URSLF AND HIM, U WUD VE KNWN DS FROM DE FIRST TYM CUZ WAT TURNS U ON IS HW A GUY SPEAKS ETC, SO DNT WASTE DE BOBO TYM AND HIS RESOURCES, IF U DNT WANT HIM LET HIM GO. DRE ARE MANY FISHES IN THE RIVER HE WIL GET ONE.MY OPINION..
ReplyDeleteStop shouting please. Hasn't anyone told you typing in caps connotes shouting? Mbok correct yasef.
DeleteEastwestern
Hahahahahahahaha Rotfl
DeletePoster one
ReplyDeleteBiko it better u keep it to ursef oh becos u don't know how many girls he has slept with too. Abeg first of all tell him to go do an HIV test oh. Becos it's very important. Madam Goody Goody!!!
Poster two
Meanwhile Madam Ggagaun!!! Pls if u want to do, do oh and stop complaining meanwhile when the gbagaun falls on ur head biko manage the pain alone oh.
#HR Babe#
Poster 1! I totally get you cos I have been there. the problem is -you don't find him attractive at all. Just admit it. You're only dating him cos of how good he treats u and makes you feel like a queen, which is natural. BUT poster do not take it to the next level. Physical attraction is underrated in marriages and it's not right. If u marry that man, you will only be settling and tolerating him. You would be needy emotionally and even sexually (even though u have sex with him) cos you are not attracted to him. You will get tired and bored in no time. Mind you, just like everyone am sure he has his bad side too, So when he's showing his bad side and isn't being nice to you, you will be totally irritated and be thinking :"I don't blame you, cos I agreed to marry u sef".
ReplyDeleteDon't mind pple saying u should better hold on to him, he's a good man". I know he's a good man but there are so many other good men out there too, some of which u will find attractive. Don't be in a haste. Dont be desperate. Marriage is not a joke. Pray about it and God will bring to you your hubby whom you will love and be attracted to ok?
Poster 1. Umu nwanyi ibem inukwa! Feeling guilty Abi? U want to loose ur man, children n respect( cos everyone will call u public dog if u tell him)cos u want to confess? Hian God has forgiven you so move on. Ok write down your guilt on a paper n BURN IT!
ReplyDeletePoster 2.... Truth be told the english thingy can be annoying. My hubby's English is somehow without accent though..kindly underline hubby. I married him. My constant correction sometimes makes him feel.....bad.. wt time he has greatly improved and only speaks bad English wen he talks fast but he writes so well that I doubt he is one n same person that speaks gbagun. Does his bad English upset me? Hell yes! He pampers me n treats me like a queen, a baby and a woman. moral of the story... his good outweighed his bad. the choice us yours babe.
P1 Madam u want to form Mrs do good,if u know what is good for u keep ur mouth shut,its part of ur past let it remain in you,P2 no advice let Jesus fix it
ReplyDeleteThere are some secrets u jst nid to take to d grave, stuff like this even when caught in d act, all u got to say is it wasnt u in craig David's voice. Trust me when u confess to ur hubby he's gonna keep using it on u forever if he takes u back coz most men just cant let things like that slide.
ReplyDeleteP2 if u love someone and they don't meet up ur standard, all u got to do is make them who u want them to be, tho patience is required. People get to learn more n act according to the environment they find themselves in, i bet that guy that can speak well today in a couple of months will improve if u keep teaching him n if he's willing to learn. We learn everyday no1 knows it all, so jst dnt runaway yet, stay back and fix it.
Poster 1 - Madam what exactly is wrong with you? Are you suffering from fooloshness? You guys are back to move on & create a better future & unless you are not interested in that I'll suggest you leave the past in the past. Your marriage had infidelity issues before abi? Better let sleeping dogs lie.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - His lack of etiquette is disturbing you? He's sweet, kind, takes care of you etc yet you are not happy? Free the guy please so that more appreciative babes can grab him. Don't marry him & end up making the both of you miserable.
Talking about wat turns on,I have a gf,big black prick turns her on,she loves money too.
ReplyDeleteShe now met dis very nice guy in Abuja before I relocated to Abuja.
Chai! This guy is Igbo,so nice to her for a year without asking for sex from her,my gf started falling for him bcos he was very nice to her,he was even talking about marriage from day 1.
One day,my gf decided to seduce him by all means in her house,and they did it,she said she asked 'are u there?' 'Have u entered?' Chai!
As people wey wan marry,dey did medical checkups b4 d seduction, so it was bare sex,no condom.
One shooting of finger black prick,belle entered.
My gf confided in me that she cnt marry him that she will cheat on him in marriage, dis babe on her own went to remove d belle before I cld say anytn.
I finally met dis her Igbo guy wen they started having problems,especially when he found out I was igbo too,he come dey narrate give me that he doesn't know what came over my friend, that she is been avoiding his calls.
My gf parked to another house,told me never to reveal her new place to him.
Its been 1year now since the separation and dis guy is been asking me to tell him why my gf left him,he also added that its not d first time he is experiencing it,that each time he had sex with any babe,they start avoiding him,he is not sharp enough to know d reason and I can't tell him.
He confessed that he met one ibo girl that he is already planning to marry,a young virgin,he said he won't sleep with her so that she no go run,lol,they have done introduction and will be paying her Bride price by the end of this month,he said he no want take risks.
Although he is still asking me to tell him wat and wat my gf complained abt him,he is like a brother to me but I can't tell him,its not in my place to do so,I kip telling him to ask his previous runaway babes.
Abi wat do u guys tink?
Bv OMA
Pls let him know
DeleteOmg
Don't hide such thing from him
Eya
I think u shld tell him.
Deleteokay poster let me tell u from personal experience (i commented on SDK for the first time because of you). Hmm my sister in 2012/2013 i met an amazing man, so amazing worshipped the ground i walked on, brought me lunch every afternoon, i lacked nothing when i mean nothing i mean nothing. i didnt even touch my salary. paid vacations etc i was living the life, he was a perfect man, he couldnt believe he could land a girl like me so he did everything to keep me. after 6 months when this guy strated talking marriage, kia the fear of God catch me, he did everything short of buying wedding gown for me. but my sister i knew i would get married to him and after a year i would regret it because i would think i settled, i would long for the correct english speaking refined man, who impresses me and mentally stimulates me, i was i cross roads with my decision for months, my dear i was losing weight. All i could think of was will i ever find a man like this!.... hmmm but i took the risk and broke up with him trust me it wasnt easy i just used the time to travel abroad to get an additional degree ( best desicion of my life). I came back to Nigeria met the most amazing young man o my God i thank you OOOOOOO that i didnt make that mistake na so i for miss my sugar cakes (God forbid). I loves me like crazy, worships the ground i walk on, makes sure i lack nothing i mean nothing! he is refined he stimulates me mentally! kia am proud to show him off to friends and family (o boy d former one i dey hide am before he would disgrace me with his english). its funny now but i used to think of him taking the reading in church during the wedding kia! e for funny well well. Anyways what am i saying please never ever ever settle for someone just becuase! please u would be unhappy! u would feel i missed out.. he might be perfect for some other girl out there but not u! u need to not be selfish and let him go! hold up u would meet the kind of man u want. >>>>>> Look at me a met my hubby who is loves me more and has all my prince charming qualites. Thank u Jesus
ReplyDelete@p2 - You do well o. You have made me laugh well today after my ordeal at the passport office. We all want nice things that come beautifully packaged but diamonds get dug out with mud and dirty water marring it. So you wash it and polish it well and then set it on a platinum ring or necklace. Some characters are almost impossible to change. Qualitiies like diction and grammar are like the wrapping paper which you can change. If he was a klepto kan? Characters that wont change cannot be ignored. Characters that can change, you accept and help to improve. How can you find shark and still be looking for crayfish?
ReplyDelete@P1 - biko, carry megaphone and announce to him, his family, your family and friends!
Poster 1 you should be asking your husband if he has HIV. Please do not tell him anything about your affair but please, please, please both of you should make sure you get tested for HIV and STDs. It is well.
ReplyDelete* Sorry I meant Poster 2*
ReplyDeleteP1, you really still love your husband and home in all sincerity and you wanna spill, eeehhh, that's all. P2, you can groom him with love and affection and before you know it he will change. You know he's an adult its a gradual process for now. You have said sweet things about him and i want you to see that instead of his eating manners et all. Please put that spirit husband to shame
ReplyDeleteIphie dearie!!!!!! Ine CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! I took my time to catch up with what I've missed. I've missed a lot! Mehn! Sister you're blessed! I'm guessing you had an nwoke. God would give you and your husband the grace and wisdom to be superb parents. You'll not regret having your kids IJN. Congrats sister! Okay what else...... Oh yeah it seems Queen Arabella got hitched. Fantastic! Happy married life sweet heart. I missed my heartthrob Ronalda. It's been a lonely and cold world without you honey. I'm still very busy but I'll be in and out once in a while.
ReplyDeleteOkay narrative 1, I'm usually harsh on adulteresses but you're not one. You were seperated from your husband and I'm guessing you had the right to do whatever you wanted to do during that period.Dont think over it, talk to your pastor or clergy and ask God for forgiveness. After all he's not a saint. Don't tell him shit! He didn't tell you natin so don't tell him jack. Thus one is between you and your God!
Poster 2, I couldn't read your narrative properly. I just did a cursory scan. Teach him English! People that don't know an ounce of English grammar become experts within 2 to 3 years. Be patient. Don't let this cause more rift than it should. Okay I've to go.
Poster 2. If you can't stand his grammar and etiquette please move on. You will meet a better person. He's not the only man on earth nah. Except you want a situation where you will not be proud of your husband, which could lead to him not being secure and that can destroy a marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 the decision is yours.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I totally understand what you are saying, I met my hubby in the uni he was intelligent but couldn't speak proper English, I was ashamed to show him to my friends so they don't laugh at him, but he was loving, hardworking, very responsible he is your definition of a very good man, at a point i had to just introduce him to them because he began to say i was ashamed of him or i had other guys. Atlast even my friends confessed that he was a perfect gentleman. He would do anytin for me he was not just kind to me but to my friends too and to People around him. I learnt to just ignore the bad English and look beyond what is outside now we are married, his English has improved a little but when he makes one blunder sometimes I don't know when I shout in exclamation lol it doesn't bother me anymore, I correct him sometimes but I later allowed him to just be himself because too much of it will make him uncomfortable and embarrassed. You have to just make up ur mind,ignore what people will say and just accept ur man not tolerate him, if not you will keep getting angry.
See them.. see some of una.. so it's okay for a rich fine polished man to pick up a village girl n marry n gradually tush her up but bad for a girl to marry igbotic man so to speak! OLUCHI Oweagba accent and English was sooooo band but she married the best n she's really improved a lot now. How about our sisters marrying French men their Ezglish na so so with z z z z.. then how would u sound speaking their own language like an mgbeke too hahahaha.. ABEGiii...!!! POSTER1 abi u new for SDK or u no deh hear word! No comment on ur case eerrrm madam confesser if he brings to the table.., please let's get real here! Confess to God n God alone n truly be sorry...
ReplyDelete@ White Prints, you nailed it! Your contribution was spot on! We all have our no-no and if that's hers she should move on. The problem is she doesn't even know her no-no, so she is so totally confused.
ReplyDelete#1. Darling, you didn't have a legal separation, you guys decided to live apart so for all intents and purposes, you are still bound to each other by your marital vows. Even in a legal separation, unless expressly stated to the contrary, infidelity can still be a ground for divorce. As long as there's a subsisting marriage, regardless of how acrimonious it may be or whether both parties are living apart, having sexual relationships with other people is still regarded as infidelity. It only ceases to be infidelity after the divorce becomes absolute.
ReplyDeleteThat you're having sleepless nights and getting all perturbed shows that you aren't "hardened" enough to shove this aside and act like you don't owe your estranged hubby full disclosure. Personally, I'm almost always for relevant full disclosure. It has nothing to do with whether or not my spouse would oblige me the same courtesy, rather it's solely for my peace of mind. I hate being burdened by a secret potent enough to rock my world the wrong way. I'm a strong believer in causality, every cause has its effect(s) so I'm always prepared for the repercussions of my choices. If losing my hubby is the price for an indiscretion, I'll bawl my eyes out as I watch my world crumble but I'll rather go through the heartbreak of hurricane proportions and recover with a clear conscience than keep my secret, secret while my conscience eats away my sanity like a cancerous growth. Having my nerves at a constant high because I'm not sure which day the beans will spill. It's just me, honey, I can never bear the thought that someone somewhere has enough information to blackmail me with. I just can't deal, so I'll take the power back by being the one to "blow my cover". Besides, there are certain informations that should be heard for the 1st time from your lips.
So, my love, it's really up to you. Do whatever you are at peace with. If I may suggest, perhaps you should take the reconciliation gradually. Don't rush in again because coming out for the 2nd time wouldn't be as easy as the 1st. Be sure you are comfortable with the changes he is professing so things don't wind down to square one. You, on the other hand, have to change for the better and work on your marriage to be the best version it can be. I wish you a happy life ahead.
#e-bearhugs.
Poster 2.
ReplyDeleteI'm exactly like you when it comes to being a sucker for a man with impeccable manners and good oratory skills.
I don't blame you for giving the relationship a try even though you noticed his shortcomings.
However I think you should bring up these concerns with him, you may be surprised that he'd be willing to work on them.
My fear though is that you may not be physically attracted to him also. If this is the case, then don't settle. with impeccable manners and good oratory skills.
I don't blame you for giving the relationship a try even though you noticed his shortcomings.
However I think you should bring up these concerns with him, you may be surprised that he'd be willing to work on them.
My fear though is that you may not be physically attracted to him also. If this is the case, then don't settle.
Poster 2.
ReplyDeleteI'm exactly like you when it comes to being a sucker for a man with impeccable manners and good oratory skills.
I don't blame you for giving the relationship a try even though you noticed his shortcomings.
However I think you should bring up these concerns with him, you may be surprised that he'd be willing to work on them.
My fear though is that you may not be physically attracted to him also. If this is the case, then don't settle.
Ronalda. Thanks u d second person standing for the truth and facing reality.. Poster 1. Considering d fact dat u both have cheated based on ur story. I think u should open up. U ave tasted seperation already. So can it be worse? Besides dere are consequences for all action. Let him know wat u did. He will take u back. However, its going to be difficult but trust me its better DAT way. Afterall he cheated likewise
ReplyDeletePoster 1----- I hope chair mo never go carry HIV come o. Nor tell am.
ReplyDeletePoster 2------If you accept the proposal, you go treat the man anyhow. Him deserve better.
Poster 1, listen to Stella. My own is not even that he will leave u when u tell him. My own is that he did plenty and will never tell u. U weren't in the wrong. U didn't cheat on him. So why are u telling him. Infact do shakara small before u agree.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I disagree wuth Stella. If u have these issues with him, it will never stop o! Don't marry him just cos he is amazing. If that IT factor is not there, don't bother @alll or else u will end up cheating on him. Or worse. So please!!! Don't settle. It hurts and I feel bad for him but don't settle now and regret later. U have to be ok with it before u move forward
Poster 1,it sure going to be the worst mistake of your life if you do that cos his never going to let it go and mind you that will always be a point of reference,mind you he has been cheating he is going to turn the table around and constantly remind you of your did and come to think of it you did not cheat on him because you guys were not together when it happened so close your mouth and see how the new life with him is going to be.All the best
ReplyDelete#1, shhhhhhh ... silence is golden.
ReplyDelete#2, hmmm ... leave him, since you are not comfortable with his manner of speaking. Because, you will be feeling ashamed to go out to public function with him, or gist with your friends.
Poster 2. Like you, the way a guy speaks was a turn on for me. The guys a dated before my husband were perfect in spending but they turned out to be duchbags. When I saw a good man, and that had no so perfect speech and not so perfect manners, I went for him because I know he was a good person. Funny, he has greatly improved in these things 8 years on.
ReplyDeleteWeasel.