STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BABY DADDY BROUHAHA
Good day Stella,I will like you to publish my mail because I need advice from my sdk family.My story is lengthy but I will summarize it.
I Am in my late twenties,a single mom to a year old.
I was in a relationship with my 'baby's daddy ' which was alter bound,we were engaged,had our introduction but for some reasons we are not yet married(long story)
My baby daddy and I had a big fight some months back and we stopped communicating,I apologized and he did the same but for some reasons we don't communicate anymore.
I have a male friend that I met while I was pregnant,he's nice to a fault,while I was pregnant (baby daddy was absent)he was always calling to check up on me and always trying to make me happy because I was very depressed then,he even drove me down for ante-natal twice.
I have met with his sister and mom on several occasions and they were nice to me,I expected a cold shoulder because I was pregnant and unwed but they never for once made me feel uncomfortable.
The problem now is that he's asking for a relationship and he says he wants to meet my parents when I agree to date him,I asked him why and he said because I have a child and he wants my parents to know he has good intentions towards me.
I told my Mom first about him coming to see her and since then it's been WAR,my Mom says I have to work things out with baby daddy,that until my baby's daddy tells her he's no longer interested in me that's when she will meet the new guy.
I still love 'baby daddy' he's an amazing personality and he's a wonderful father to our child,only both of us understand how crazy we both are,but he's erratic and very stubborn and maybe he can't make up his mind about been with me(dunno).
This new guy loves me but I don't,I just see him as a second chance to be happy again and I hate been lonely maybe with time I will learn to love him....
Am so depressed and sad,I don't even stay at home again,My Mom Is saying I want to be having kids for different men.
Baby daddy and I are not even cool anymore how do I talk to him??!!!!
Do I make amends with baby daddy for the sake of our child?
Cut of ties with the new guy and tell him I cannot be with him?
How long do I wait for baby daddy to make up his mind?am not in a rush for marriage but I just want to be happy with the father of my child,I owe my child that.
I cannot disobey my Mom she's been my support since I got pregnant and had my child,I still stay with my parents with my child.
Please I need your sincere advice.
I just came here to read comments and sell popcorn abeg.
Hian!
ReplyDeleteAbeg give me #500 popcorn, make I join you read comments
DeleteStella give me one i go pay later..
DeleteHere for comments
@SHB
Em jay went for brain test today, so she's absent.
DeleteDouble Hian! This is what is wrong with the generation of mothers. Impatience and selfishness. No ounce of sacrifice for others.
DeleteShould a man be the source of your Joy? You sound immature pls. Marriage is more than what you think o. That may may love you now but when he sees your other side after marriage will he still love you?
Just a year after giving birth, you already have a bf! Pls pay attention to ur Child. Let him come first. Calm down and make the right decision with clear head. Get yourself occupied so u won't be lonely!
Then again, Baby daddy is no stranger to u, how come a relationship that was alter bound is now so sour u don't talk. Find a way to talk things out with him. Get closure b4 having side boyfriend that u don't even love. Most importantly tho', focus on your son.
*drops mic*
You dont want to disobey your mother, She has told u her mind so what else do u want from us?
DeleteCalabar chick side eye.
DeleteDon't understand dis war btw u and ur baby daddy ohhh,u pple should talk already in order for u to knw ur stand,b4 u can be talking of anoda man.
****LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*****
Hian
DeleteSeconded
@Galore
Words fail me. Still please give me £4 popcorn... Let me read comments
DeleteAkuko uwa!!!!
DeleteTry making up with ur baby daddy,if it's doesn't work,leave him alone and focus on this new guy
Make use of your opportunity now u have it
My sincere advice is work tin out wt ur baby's dad. D child is just a yr old.do not rush into accepting ur new man pls one step at a time, try ur best possible to talk to ur baby's daddy n wait, don't accept d new guy yet pls and listen to ur mum
DeleteWhatever happened to that small boy Prince Jobless? Tony Ihekire, Phrinkies and Stanley Nwanze nko? You people should come back. Some of us miss you. *omojeje*
DeleteYou dint tell us if your baby daddy has moved on with another woman, you people should finalise it before you move on.
DeleteU know what, don't let the new guy meet momsie 1st. Ure alil vulnerable now hence the tripping. Start a frest relationship with new guy and don't be in a rush to meet his peps aswell. As time goes on, ul know if that's what you want or not. Ur happiness really matters but u gatto tread softly. And most importantly, ur child should be put into consideration. Start with new guy afresh and don't rush..pls.
DeleteWhat of Sabo? Bitchplis? Mrs bitchpls? Ezemoney? MOI? JayEm? Etc....
DeleteSpot on ms tee!
DeleteBetter go and settle with baby daddy and leave this your PA alone
DeleteAt the end of the day, it's up to you to decide - we can only advise you. This is a very delicate issue. Your baby daddy was not around when you needed him most and you are contemplating going back to him- be prepared for the consequences if you go back - only if you can endure! The new guy seems very sweet and he's the type of guy I would like to date. Please disconnect if you have no feelings for him - no point settling for someone you have no feelings for.
DeleteGive me popcorn jare Stella I'm on your side today.
ReplyDeleteNa popcorn sure pass today...negodu
DeleteI think your baby daddy doesn't want to marry u. Cos if a man loves u n he has the finances coupled with the fact u have a child, my dear he will do anything sharp sharp to wife u. If he is still dragging his foot......unless u hv not told us his reservation against u being g his wife. it is like u love the idea of your baby daddy e.g looks money n ds silly romantic ideas women fill their heads with.
DeleteOn the other hand Mr friend may genuinely want you but wen it comes to marrying you, his people might fill his head wt stuff.
My two cents us...call baby daddy, talk to him, in fact give him an ultimatum. don't even mention Mr friend to him. So from his response you will know wat to do.
E- hugs dear
Poster u already made up ur mind. Your chronicle should b titled "How do I get my baby daddy back" biko leave that poor man, set him free! He deserves someone who loves him equally. My 2kobo
DeleteMadam discuss with baby daddy first. Ur mom is right. Until he says he's no longer interested, u can't just move on!
DeleteThing with d new guy will eventually change after marriage.
Pls my name sake, gimme 1k popcorn make I take hold my side.
Please give me a pack of popcorn and bring #500 change.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
DeleteThis is a delicate issue oooh
Plss no let soap enter your eyes when you still dey inside water ooohhh
Shine your eyes!
No use your baby daddy get hope ooh.
You already know what you want?
ReplyDeleteYou just want us to talk already, after you will go into the comment section and concur with those that speak your mind.
Please shift!
Exactly
DeleteHmmmm your mother is a good woman
ReplyDeleteplease do not marry someone you do not love
Pop corn please
Abeg, folo gimme popcorn.
ReplyDeleteI gat no words.
Abeg This one pass Popcorn, abeg stella begin sell Bole, ph bv's dey here o
DeleteMrs K, abeg incase of nxt time, pls add more butter & small salt to the popcorn make I buy plenty. Jst give me N200 own make I manage. ~It's CathyLee~
DeleteI go follow read comments today..... Poster just follow ur intuition biko....
ReplyDeletePls tell ur fellow ISIS brothers to stop the inhumane blood shed in the middle east.
DeleteHian!...
ReplyDeleteSo because of your mum,you can't live your own life again...
Yeye dey smell...
Remember her time don pass...give the second guy a chance biko...and tell him the situation of things...
Am sure your baby daddy is someone having the fun of his life....
Mtcheeeew....
I agree with you, Give the Second opportunity
DeleteI agree with you. The baby daddy doesn't seem like he's interested in her any more. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free ? Don't chase away this new guy that loves you for a man that you aren't sure of. A bird at hand is worth 10 in the bush. The reason why you don't love the new guy is because your heart still beats for the old one. You should have a heart to heart with your baby daddy. Let him know your concerns and discuss your plan for the future. Most importantly, find out if you both have a future together . If he isn't on the same page as you, move on with the new guy. You don't know how difficult it is to find a man who truly loves you especially if you are a single mother . Have you considered the possibility that the baby daddy isn't the one and that's why you didn't make it to the alter ? Don't marry someone out of obligation (to your child or mother) because you'll be very unhappy. Take some time to think about what you really want and be objective. Good luck!
DeleteResearch has shown that a lot of people dont use condoms, and it becomes worse when the relationship has spent some time. Baby daddy this, boyfriend that. Anyways, you guys should be careful how you put childreb in the middle of this mess. No child deserves a broken home. I repeat, no child deserves a broken home. I grew up seeing majority of my friends with broken homes. Not a good thing at all.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, na your own be that. Something caught my interest yesterday
A BV posted about him breaking up with his girl of 5yrs and ppl were cursing as usual.
It is funny how a lot of people think every relationship should lead to marriage.
The truth is, some people are just good for fuck, upgrading them into the marital realm will spoil the friendship, the fuck and even the marriage sef.
Girls will always say "I gave u my body". What I don't understand is if they didn't enjoy the sex or they were displeasing themselves to invest in a union that would lead to marriage. Whatever answer given, a yes or a no, would indict the girl in question.
People should free themselves and enjoy themselves. It must not lead to marriage. Unlike pleasurable sex, marriage is a burden in which people must calculatively go into with their value priorities as the parameters.
At the end of the day sef, the so called girls that are fighting for marriage, will eventually enter and still do the fuck for pleasure outside their matrimonial homes. And this time, they will be doing it with so much fear and risk that it may not be worth it when caught.
So enough of this mentality that sex must lead to marriage.
In short, good girls keep themselves till marriage... ooops, did I say that? Let me rephrase, good girls masturbate privately till marriage. If you think say I dey lie ehn, try lick clitoris of virgin and u go see the way she go dey shout. The question that comes to mind is.... "how did she know it was pleasurable?"
Enjoy urself pretenders..... but not up to the extent to flogging skin-to-skin. Keep children out of this mess.
Hahaha wetin virgin girls do you again
DeleteMmyflowws, I just love u today..... only today o! U make plenty sense... thanks.
DeleteThe hype is getting you twisted....you just love nasty attention and you found it here on SDK but generally you are just disgusting and crass.
DeleteI just fell in love with you
DeleteChoi...dis guy ehn!!!..lmao
DeleteRme...*licking clitoris okwaya???...hehehehe.its called "pussy eating" joor...licking is for guys who are learners...*runs away*
Funny blunt uy you are I swear, "how did she knw its pleasurable?" Are u serious wit that line?... Lemme ask u, how do u feel sumthg is painful on ur skin? That's sane way pleasure is felt dude.
DeleteThe truth is all r/shps wldnt lead too marriage but the occurences during & how its ended matters, thrs always sumth to learn frm a good or bad r/shp dat didn't work out eventually... If nt for anythg it displays a clear picture of wat u don't wnt in ur nxt.
Your comments always have the same content,though in different words.Na the same thing you don dey write since wey I begin see your comment here.You never tire u...
DeleteThis man you dey kolo sha! Lol.. While you may have a point, your admonition may hold true for those that are not committed Christians.
DeleteYou like talking out of point. Very irritating somebody. U want to come out as very wise but u just end up being disgusting.
DeleteWait! What?!
DeleteI love this this dude.
Lmfao...Psycho.
Hahahahaha
Gotcha mehn, people should learn to enjoy themselves and stop trying to please everyone.
DeleteLmao...This Dude is Realest.
DeleteAm with u on dis. Nice 1
DeleteYou can yarn dust!!!! Do you know what a clitoris even is? So because a girl is a virgin her nerves are dead and she can't be sensitive? And not all virgins masturbate please. You know nothing. In your bid to come across as worldly and knowing, you're beginning to sound like a mumu abeg. I was one of those hailing you initially, but all you have to offer is misogynistic, myopic and downright lame contributions.
DeleteDo me a favour please. Gerrarahia!
Omg I just love ur comments, uv said it all.ur my only crush on dis blog
DeleteU just want attention don't u? Who tot a baby how to suck on their mother's breast, who taught them how to quickly remove ur hand when they touch hot substance or fire, so when u first had sex some1 made it errect for, I sm1 tot u how to cum abi? Bloody illiterate. Vamooose joor oloshi
DeleteU made some sense but showcased ur ignorance when u asked a virgin how she knew clitoris touch/feel/lick was pleasurable??? Are u a dunce??? How did the new born know to suck breast ehn, how??
DeleteYou don't know about instinct, reflex and feeling?? It's full of nerves (the clitoris) and just like any part of ur body u knw when touched and more so for a clitoris with that level of innervation.
So go and look for another 'mocking line' for ur morally bankrupt self to feel better about a Virgin ok! #wobbish aka rubbish
Oga why are you so horny all the time? Sigh! It's very shallow please.
Delete@ money makes blah blah blah. Guy pls! Be mature na. Why are you all about Mundane things and so pleased with yourself? Is it paining you that some people actually have the grace to be decent? Pls let's help the chronicle writer jare
DeleteHad 2 go bk and read from yesterday. This yeye MMYFW is so right. He did her a favour telling her he didn't love her no more. He lost love 4 her somewhere along d line n we don't xpect him 2 go on pretending about it do we? Yes she'll b hurt bt hey she ll get over him with time.
DeleteOga u nor lie how virgin take know all dose tins. Unless virgin don test am.
I go with anon 17;30 on this,mmyflawws is probably always alllwayys horny!so y'all forgive his congi infested comments!
DeleteLmao!but mehn,i do look out for ur comments,as I said the sense is in d nonsense'.u dey try.smh
Though I agree that the guy from yesterday had every right to break up with his gf. He owes no one an explanation even if the rship lasted 10 years. I mean not all rships will lead to marriage...
DeleteThe part I disagree on is the Virgin knowing pleasure blacl bla bla.... err are you kidding me? How do you know what pain feels like? How do you know when something feels good? It's called nerves honey... and no one has to explain to a virgin when she's feeling a tingly sensation down there or how it will feel!
That guy may have been right for ending the relationship instead of leading her on, but he is also guilty of lying and deceiving her. Every single time he told her he loved her he lied. His words and actions betrayed her into thinking they had a future and he kept up the charade for 5 years! Why lie about wanting to be in a relationship if you only want sex ? The world has changed and women are more vocal about what they want. Some women want flings, friends with benefits or a sex partner. Some don't mind being side chics or booty calls! Why didn't the guy go for a girl like that? Why have a relationship with love, care and attention if his sole intention was to have a fuck - buddy? Not every relationship ends in marriage but let's not pretend that we don't fantasise about it doing so. He should have ended the relationship as soon as he fell out of love (if he ever was). This serves as a lesson to women. Don't ever waste your time or youth on any man!
DeleteLol @good girls masturbate privately till marriage. Chygirl #sideeyes# don't run pls
DeleteLove u. Ur comments.
DeleteWhoever & watever decision u make, do it fast for the sake of the kid, he needs a father figure in his life, instead of confusin him with diffrent faces and him wondering who is daddy..
ReplyDeleteFatherly role is important oh, that's a huge contributing factor to gays n lesbians, when a kid dsnt see a father or mother to play his/her role, the kid falls to the present side he see thereby losing out on the other side of parenting course, stigmatising the left or right side of the brain responsible for gender balancing.... If the feminine side is fully active & the masculine side is dormant, thrs 70% chance that male kid wld prefer anus to pussy, making him gay....
DeleteWho is this mad person under me analysing rubbish?
DeleteBuhahahahahaha. ..i was about to get mad at his stupid analysis until I saw ur comment calling him or she mad....lmao
DeletePoster have a conversation with your baby daddy. Know his stand in your life. If he is in cos of his child then u need to seek your own happiness. Just have a heart to heart with him first before u accept that guy. You know why? Baby daddy will always be a part of your life so in order for things not to be ackward or stale between you two, he has to know of your plans. He should do it right by you. Ps=that second guy really loves you for u cos its unbelievable he stayed through out d period you were preggy n is now wanting forever with u not minding d fact u r a single mom. Damn! he is rare! His family if they are in support of you are rare as well. NB:Not to sound negative i know that people can naturally be good but make sure you know all there is about this second guy n his family cos the total acceptance is too damn good to be true. God be with you hun.
ReplyDeleteMaybe e nor get prick. Or d one way e get nor dey stand
DeletePrecious God bless you for this comment. Wanted to write this too but let me jusst second this. Pls poster, be careful and remember ur mum will be happy when u are happy. Sit him down I mean the baby daddy n know Wats up n if u av a future wt him
DeleteGbam
DeleteSo, what about the part she confessed she doesn't love him.
DeleteI FOLLOW WAN READ COMMENT CUZ EVN ME DE CONFUSE PAS DE SNDER OF DS POST...TOMJERRYSWIT
ReplyDeleteI think it'll be better if you and your child's dad work things out. I think he might or you both might have ego issues, so youll have to put your ego aside and have a heart to talk with. Or if worse come to worse, just ask him if he is still interested in you instead of leaving in all assumptions. You both are adults, talk and come to a decision so you'll both move forward with Your lives.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Abeg Stella sell popcorn for me joor.
ReplyDeleteJust negodu
ReplyDeleteThis Jist get as e be you hate been lonely!! Bia who is a lonely person. A year old baby brohaha $ you want to jump to anoda situationsip
ReplyDeleteBiko give #1000 pop corn to make my mouth busy
Another hian!
ReplyDeleteMy dear follow your heart oh, your mum won't live with u, ur happiness should be the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteDear poster your story is incomplete. What went wrong between you and your baby daddy. How can we advise you on this, when you refuse to disclose what really result to you guys no communicating.
ReplyDeleteU said u still love your baby daddy and also can learn to live the new guy. I cannot eat your cake and have it. What caused d big fight that made you have a side guy
ReplyDeleteI pray God gives u wisdom. Talk things through with baby daddy first
ReplyDeleteFirst, I think it's too early for you to get involved with another man regardless of the situation with your baby daddy. Your child is still young and should be your priority for now. Going into a relationship because of loneliness is a big mistake.
Second, Your mum is right. If you want to start something with the new guy, you need to have a talk with your baby daddy and end things with him officially.
All the best!!!
Ulunwa is this u?
DeleteYours is a tricky and delicate situation. I don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteYou should have waited until after wedding before giving your toto to a man to fuck without condom.
Na wa o..leme read comments biko...all d baby daddy gist sef dey tire me
ReplyDeleteYour mum is not wrong, I totally understand her point of view. If you don't settle things with your baby daddy, your baby would be the one to bear the brunt of whatever friction happens between both of you plus the new guy in your life.
ReplyDeleteSo simple solution; break up formally with your baby daddy, tell him you are moving on and then get back to your mum, give her an update of the sitch.
And by the way that new guy is a keeper!
Stella pass me Popcorn Biko dis chronicle is confusing.
ReplyDeleteHave no idea what to say
ReplyDeleteGoodluck
Babes abeg forcus more on becoming a better person. Obviously, you are idle hence carrying men mata for head like this #pity#. You cant find happiness in a man when you lack it yourself. Please concentrate more on that beautiful baby and stop chasing men around.ah!
ReplyDeleteI suspect U n ur baby daddy ve got EGO problem. If he doesn't call, what stops U from calling him so U both can talk like matured adults? U call him or go see him n talk abt everything n from there U can decide if U gonna move on or work things out with him for the sake of ur baby. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteThis one na real crossroad..well then follow your heart, if you regret all i just said was follow your heart.
ReplyDeleteTyping
ReplyDelete:
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: pls if already bot popcorn, share wt a sista mbok!
Seriously these chronicles are getting tougher by the day..pls Stella how much I cup ?
ReplyDeleteI don't have pity on most ladies here actually.next.
ReplyDeletePray! Ask for forgiveness! God will shed light on your path.
ReplyDeletethis just sound like what am going through now
ReplyDeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeleteThis story is too twisted..
Lemmme sit and read comments.
Wait a sec!!
Why not have a conversation with ur baby daddy,this response would determine your next step...as for your mum,let her calm her nerves and stop intruding into ur life like ure a kid,she sud be grateful that a guy is tryna get serious with you not minding the fact that ure after 1....
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
My dear you have a second chance either with baby daddy or new guy. I prefer new guy sha...
ReplyDeleteTalk to your baby daddy and find out what he wants,time is running out and your mum can't determine your happiness thou she is rit abt having kids for diffrent men(not cool).anyways,if baby daddy says I can't marry you then by all mens give guy 2 a chance..life is too short to alone regreting.your lucky sha
ReplyDeletePlease madam poster what ever decisions it comes to, make sure to put your child first in all of these!
ReplyDeletePoster: I think you already know wat U want. sometimes love is not enof, if Ur relationship with Ur baby daddy is off and on I think U should move on with this second guy who had been with U till date. U just have to contact Ur baby daddy let him know that U want to move on without Him to see His reaction, I tell U is rare to find someone like the second guy whose family will accept U whole heartily with Ur child.be wise bcos the bible say we should love who will marry, it did not say marry who U love.
ReplyDeletei follow una read comments today. when we talk dem no dey follow. stella you no dey sell corn and ubay na dat one i need today.
ReplyDeleteSorry to derail dis post stella but am jst weak from within....
ReplyDeleteHow to I handle dis? Caught my hubby to be pants down with a man......wedding in 1 month 2 days tym!!
Though he has begged that that's his 1st time but how true can dat be.
Hahhahha, where did u catch ur hubby
DeleteOmg
DeleteDo not go ahead with the marriage
That guy is soo gay
First time koo
Tufiakwa
Baby girl, he is lying that is not the first time. Don't marry a down-low brother. All he wants to do is to cover himself by getting married, have kids and still sleep with men. Broken relationship is better oooo. Cut the ties now before you send in chronicle to Stella. Your man is GAY, and he cant come out due to Nigeria environment (family especially). Don't look at the money spent so far the wedding, think about your future. Call family meeting, tell them you can not go ahead with the wedding, don't give them the reason, you have a cold feet period. Don't let them persuade you oooo, remain firm. A week b4 the wedding travel somewhere, switch ur phone off, txt ur mama and papa you are ok nothing happen to you. Reappear a week after, voila it is over. Down the line you can tell your mama and papa why you did what you did.
DeleteGay men are the best to get married to...how I wish mine is one...
DeleteI will encourage him to bring in his lover for a three some...
If I were you,I will go ahead and marry him..
Remember men are scarce...grab him and have your kids...
What! Dump him ASAP! You want to marry a gay guy? It may be embarrassing to call off the wedding but I think it's the best thing to do. That guy is only marrying you to procreate and save himself from a 14year jail term . Take a walk asap! Beg kor! Apologies ni!
DeleteThat guy is a sodomite do you want to partake from the wrath of God? He has been doing that for ages.
DeleteWhat you must understand is that a man who cares for a woman while she's pregnant with another man's child is a God-sent. He must have really seen something special in you to do that. I keep saying that boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is crap and women are always on the loosing side. I can sense that your dilemma and confusion is simply for the sake of the child and not because u love ur baby daddy that much. That by extension implies that if u didn't get pregnant for him, u would have dumped him for this new guy that's serious with u.
ReplyDeleteNow hold ur ears. It is not signed and stamped anywhere that ur baby daddy is ur life partner. That is the mistake most ladies make in rships; the moment they fornicate with a guy, it becomes difficult to let go, moreso when they have a baby together. Please dear, give this new guy a trial. But don't ever sleep with him. I beg you! Don't! He obviously has genuine plans for you and all you have to do is to pray to God while you try and work things out with him. Don't cry had I known when your baby daddy leaves you for a brand new woman in the future. He would have married you by now if he wanted. Many single mothers find it tough to settle down. You're lucky to have a single, baggageless guy looking your corner. Think deep! Be wise!
Exactly !
DeleteHave a talk with the baby daddy,find out his intentions.If he doesn't want you anymore then you can give the 2nd guy a chance.
ReplyDeleteMadam,my brothers story has entered stellas blog. ..na wah oh!!!you introduced me to this blog did you think I wasnt gunna know???!!!
ReplyDeleteWell,he really loves you @first when we saw you guys together we actually thought he was the father of ur baby,not until my Aunt and Mom asked you and u said no.
You truly are an amazing woman,beautiful and hardworking you're like the sister I never had,even while you were pregnant you always had pains in your eyes but u still were full of life
I pray you find happiness because you deserve it
Follow your heart and may God give you peace
Kisses to the young man.....
Abeg tell your brother to come read ooo. I pray he will find someone else that will love him.
DeleteLol @ Lemonda. Please don't drag your brother into this . She's only confused and asking for help. If you were in her position you'll feel the same way. It's better she gets some closure before starting a new relationship. E-hugs to your brother . He's a real man! Good and rare .
DeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI would suggest you do not rush into a relationship for now. Calm down, enjoy being single, develop yourself, love yourself, build your self-esteem, build a good relationship with God. In the end, everything will fall in the right place.
If you continue with this new found relationship and get pregnant again, then you'ld be a baby mama to someone else - first baby daddy will forget you and second baby daddy may ignore you. Then you will start struggling to take care of yourself and children without a man. He and his family members might be nice to you at the moment, but my dear you don't know their hearts - 'the heart of a man is desperately wicked, who can know it?'
Take it calm and easy with your baby daddy. Maybe he needs time, maybe he wants to be financially stable, maybe he is just confused. Be patient! Don't rush into another man's life all in the name of wanting to be happy and getting married. Your child is very young, devote time for your child, pray for him/her, watch him/her grow!
I am presently in your shoes and I've been celibate for over 3 years, its being fun! Seeing my child play and call me mummy is beautiful. Do not put yourself under unnecessary pressure to be in a relationship. Love yourself first and take good care of the precious gift God has given you! Sleeping around is a no no, your mum is very right!
I hope this helps.
Am thinking you've not given him the p**sy yet..Once he gets "it"..I mean enough of "it"..and he remains loving..he might be the one,... just..maybe..
ReplyDeleteDo you honestly think he's been in her life for over a year just to get the cookie ? He was with her when she was pregnant and now her kid is a year old. You still don't think he loves her ? Do you think there aren't over a million single girls he could sleep with ? The problem with women is that they don't recognise real love when it stares them in the face. We are usually sprung on the ones who don't love us.
DeletePoster, You are even confusing me sef! You said you love your baby daddy and you don't love this other guy, he is this and he is that, you don't want to disobey your mom. Then you dunno what to do. My dear you already know what to do you hear! You just want us to talk. You and your mom are already on the same page. Stay with the man you love. But then I don't think you even need our (strangers) opinion. Na u know your men, make u decide.
ReplyDeletePoster, get this message very clear.. Baby daddy doesn't love you and will not marry you! Quit waiting on him. I see incompetent parents everywhere! In contrast to what your mother said, it is not compulsory you must end up marrying the father of your child. I will always say that all a woman needs, is a man that truly loves her. You know this when a man demonstrates his love in extraordinary situations such as this one. He knows about your circumstances and still wants to meet your parents.. That's love.. I think you should give him a chance. He means well and will probably make you happy! And be diligent enough to be submissive.. Love happens eventually.
ReplyDeleteShe doesnt love the new guy, even if she force herself...her mind will always be with her baby daddy. Let the new guy go, and find someone that will love him.
DeleteGod called the woman to be submissive. It's not her place to love.. That is man's responsibility.. She'll be fine with the new man, she only needs to open up her heart to receive his love..
Deletemoney makes...i love you..your comments are always spot on..u single? back to narrative. poster your mum is wise. listen to her. She has your best interest at heart and is only trying to prevent heart break for you..u still love your baby daddy,what happened then? You people need to have a long talk and define your relationship. leave Mr nice guy. He has seen your desperation for marriage n wants to prey on it. girls will never learn. He Carried you for ante natal..eh en? does that mean he would be a good boy friend? work on your relationship with Ur baby daddy. its even too early to jump into another relationship.
ReplyDeletePoster what do you want from us ??? shebi you don make up ya mind to be with your baby daddy !!! Free the poor guy biko...All the same, my instinct tells be that you used juju to hold your baby daddy...that was why the marriage didn't work out. Repent please.
ReplyDeletePpl always mistake a father as d biological sperm donor. A father is who was dia for ur child wen he needed it. Who provided comfort, love, care, shelter n future for dt child. So make ur choice wisely to avoid story dt touches d heart someday.
ReplyDeleteFollow ur heart having 10 children for 10 men does not really matter what matters is dat u ar happy. For me I can fuck 30 men for 30 children I no care
ReplyDeleteHahahaha...
DeleteAbi?afterall,na your pussy...
Yetinde says aunty I want pop corn 200,is dere groundnut too?coke nko?kk,thanks a bunch,I'm fasting o....Astagafurullai X10times,can I say jst 1 word?abortion would have saved yur ass frm dis stress...Walai,you're all free to insult me but seriously were u expecting yur mum to support u wiv d 2nd guy;nigerian mama wey wan enter Aljannah no go support u lailai,I trust dem,see o nii o goo ni,waa gbon by force,u better go follow yur baby father talk,make him sign say him no dey do again b4 dis new 1 comot go nw.
ReplyDeleteYou are wrong Yetinde, abortion is not the answer. God forbid what if she die during or after. What if her womb get damaged and she can't conceive anymore. Her baby daddy will leave her if he wants to baby or no baby.
DeleteYour mum is so right. You have to settle things with your baby's daddy cos you guys have done intro and are engaged, both families have met so you can't just bring another person as your new fiance. Its not done.
ReplyDeleteAn alliance has been formed with your baby's daddy and his family so to move on, its best you meet his family to tell you about his where about if you don't know. Get him to come and end what he started or conclude it so you can decided where to go. Your mum is really a no nonsense mum who have values in her. I love her already.
Sincerely this BV is befogged. Now let me ask u a question, the new guy don fuck u? Cos according to money makes u fuck women, na fuck they confuse most girls. Oya see marry their two or better still fuck their two. Your mind is already made up and here you're looking for backup. Naija girls and marriage confusion.
ReplyDeleteAbeg do whatever makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteSearch your heart.
Please yourself.
Not everytime advice me,advice me.
When you dey kpansh raw and enter love,you nor notify us o
If everybody chop pop corn collect change, na who go give the advice?
ReplyDeleteLet me get dis straight....according to you poster, ur baby daddy was absent through your pregnancy and the new guy was dere for u...den wen the new guy told u his intentions after u have met his entire family and they accepted u inspite of ur condition, he asked to see ur mum and she refused.. you now also suddenly realized that baby daddy is "a wonderful personality and a good father to ur child and dat u sill love him" ...u then ended the write up with "Baby daddy and i are not in cool terms,do I make amends for the sake of my child?"..Dear poster , please leave d new guy alone...u and dat baby daddy of urs deserve each other..u are both confused humanbeings and u lack direction..its just a pity u brought d innocent child into such unstable mess..mmmssshhewwwww
ReplyDeleteRe BV NARATiVE OF YESTERDAY
ReplyDeleteTHE EX FACTOR
First of all let me start by informing the poster that man - woman relationship is governed by two laws
1. A law of chemistry
2. Okafor's law
Be rest assured that I have proved both laws over the years and I know most people have proved them without knowing. Both laws played our in the narrative. The chemistry law states that if a gas(any gas) is SUFFICIENTLY cooled it will solidify. The key here is sufficiently. Stretched a bit it states that if a woman(any woman) is sufficiently tempted she will fall.. In this case sufficiently means enough ( which has no absolute value) time and resources. Women who make men apply thus law by showing unnessasary hard to get live a large part of their lives sulkig afterwards. Onece I have budgeted what was needed over a period of three years of persistence to get s certain girl only to leave her three months later even though I warned her that I must get her and leave her when she thinks she has got the most serious gut. All it takes is to identify what the girl wants most and it varies from girl to girl. This what happened to you poster. Okafor's law states that once a man has had consentual sex with a woman, he will always have it again any time any day provided the necessary conditions prevail. This also happened to the poster. Hence if you are left in private with your ex, it is only one right button and you have sex with him even while saying no. Why do women think that telling a man you don't want sex automatically means the you don't want him to have sex with anyone at all. So when next you tell you bf tell him you don't want him to have sex with you AND or anyone else. When poster told guy she didn't want sex she didn't ban him from seeking sexual gratification elsewhere while respecting rge woman's wish hahaha. Finally if toh want to avoid the first law don't give a listening ear or make yourself available to a man you don't want because no matter how you brag, the law will cath you once he intends to invoke it. Also I'f you don't want Okafor's law to catch you, don't try to go and see you ex under any guise no matter where because he can press the right button at tasty hut and you find yourself in a bed somewherelse
WHAT IS THIS ONE SAYING
Delete@youngman, are high on cheap drugs?
DeleteRubbish in british accent
DeleteThat's one of the reasons why pre-marital sex is a no no. When God gives commandments, it's for our benefit but we don't always see it that way. Now that the deed has been done, you should talk to your baby daddy. Let him make known his intentions to you. Above all, build your relationship with God. Let it be the foundation on which everything stands.
ReplyDeletePls visit my blog: www.preciouscore.com
Thank you!
U already stated that U don't like this second guy, so why would U want to displease yourself and marry him?
ReplyDeleteI would advice that U make amends with baby daddy and forge ahead.
Do not marry who U don't love thinking U will grow to love him, DON'T
Wow!!...
DeleteWe even have a gay man...hahahaha...
I like gays...
She never said she didn't like him. What she said was that she didn't love him. The guy loves her, that's all a woman needs. She'll grow to love him, after all women are marrying men they don't even like for money..
DeleteIs your baby daddy S from Ekiti ?
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is only you know where the shoe pinches.
Don't let anybody make decisions for you.
Your description of the second man makes him look like a real keeper, though.
Some people like complications aswear!
ReplyDeleteSo because you & your baby daddy is busy carrying face for each other you want to jump into another r/ship & like your mama said another belle (cos loneliness can cause kasala)
You & your baby daddy should grow up & iron out things if for nothing else but for the sake of the child & stop acting like teens. I'll advice you to sort out your issues with your guy then you can make decisions with a clearer vision & mind and tell the other guy to apply the brakes.
Get in touch with the father of your kid,talk to him about settling down and making more babies.His response will give an answer to your question.On another note if he seems not to give u a straight answer,don't cut communication with him ,flaunt the other guy on your social media,talk about him whenever you are with him.If he seems not to care , move on sweetie.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one oh...
ReplyDeleteI think you should have a conversation with your ex. Let him know you want to find out if there could be a chance that you could be together soon . that you would love to move on with your love life if you guys can't be together. The outcome of this discussion should guide your decision making. Good luck
ReplyDeleteMek me too join d comment readers' association
ReplyDeleteHow long do u want to wait for baby daddy.? Have a one on one with him and ask him if he is still interested, if he isn't beg him to come and tell ur mum dat he isn't interested so dat u can move on with ur life. Ur aren't getting any younger n it might not be any easier to get another man who wil accept u wit ur child if baby daddy disappoints u years later. Make hay while d sun shines o. I see u r secretly waiting for him...Pls find a solution to ur depression. Draw close to God. Just maybe u can give d second guy a chance. Just maybe.
ReplyDeletePopcorn please,,,Telemundo
ReplyDeleteYou lack patience.
ReplyDeleteDo you know what a baby daddy is? The fact that you called ur child's father a baby daddy makes me know you are an unserious person for giving him an insulting and demeaning title. I will not waste my breath advising you.
ReplyDeleteDo what makes you and your child happy
ReplyDeleteIs the father of your child (please stop using baby daddy...you are not African American and it is very crass)...Is the Father of your child wanting to be with you? Does he want you or is it because of the child? Have an honest conversation with him and tell him, both of you will raise the child together with no issues but he does not have to marry you. What sort of man cuts in and out of your life like that and you are there loving him?
ReplyDeleteAs per second guy, if you don't love him...you don't love him. Allow him to go and be a good man to someone else. You don't have to be with every man who comes your way. As for your child's father, I sense he does not want forever with you in that way.
True talk
DeleteAbeg go and meet him and tell him everything, tell him the truth period. If he's not ready to marry he should say it. Just negodi!
ReplyDeleteI feel u need to communicate with ur baby daddy..so u know ur next move. At same time watch d second guy closely to b sure his intentions are real while u pray to God for d spirit of discernment. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteBaby daddy dis baby daddy dat...fool!!!! D only person I pity is d poor baby... y didn't u wait till u got married bfor having a baby. Priorities!!! Now u want 2 jump into anoda man's arms, who will later turn into baby daddy no 2.... make yur ways right nd say no 2 fornication
ReplyDeleteBiko shut up as if you don't fornicate...
DeleteI was hereeeeeee
ReplyDeleteI looked
I read
I was hereeeeeeee(in Beyonce's voice)
I was hereeeeeeee
ReplyDeleteI look
I read
I was hereeeeeee (in Beyonce's voice)
Referring to your child's father is derogatory and demeaning. You need to have a talk with the father of your child. Its pertinent you know his stand. What I observed(I may be wrong) 4rm your write up is your child's father is only with you because of his child. Don't think he plans to settle down with you. Wait! You need not be hasty jumping into another relationship. Don't be in a hurry. Marriage is not an end in itself.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:36... i dont think it is the first time your husband to be is sleeping with a man. sorry for the wedding coming up in 1 month's time. your horseband to be use you as a cover up for his gayizm. take heart inugo. do what you think will make you happy. Marry him... he will continue... dont marry him ... he will still be fucking another man. you are now between the lion and the crocodile.
ReplyDeleteI think the guy are not yet married you today
ReplyDeletewas becos you are so pride and ego person i can see it all through your
write up here,,a man love a loyal woman,
the heart a woman have in boyfriend is not same in husband,
she fear to lose boyfriend and never fear to lose husband she had a child with
Be patient and work things out with the father of your child first, since you are still very young and not in a hurry, get hold of your life before jumping into another relationship, because all that glitters is not gold, and I am a bit suspicious of this new guy and his family sweetness towards you... Listen to your mother.
ReplyDeleteNitty.
You can force love.... marriage is more than love it's respect, friendship, mutual understanding..... if u can't get a sense of this in ur relationship with ur baby's daddy then don't bother you will end up miserable the most important person in your life is you do the best for you. Let someone love u don't run after love
ReplyDeleteCall your baby daddy, tell him you want to have face to face conversation with him. Meet in public place a bit quiet, but not at his house ooo b4 baby #2 happen. Tell him you want to know whats up with both of you, is there a future or not? Also find a way to record your conversation just for evidence sake. From there you will know where you are going.
ReplyDeleteNa wah-ooo. Man love you even when you were pregnant for another to the extent of taking you to antenatal? Where was baby daddy? If I may add a comment, it's like baby daddy didn't intend to get you pregnant, you took in and decided to keep it then out of courtesy he decided to see your parents or do the so called introduction. Talk things out with him so you can know his real intentions for you. I advice you to be honest with yourself and move on if he tells you he is no longer interested remembering that you can't force someone to love you. As for your Mr Nice Guy, I pray he is not just looking for a way to get inbetween the sheets too.
ReplyDeleteThe baby daddy is my good friend, crazy but very very responsible, we humans better fear God, this girl did so many wrong things to the guy,like sleeping around, I don't want to talk much so it won't be like am taking sides, men,drugs,lies n all,a guy can only try,even with the pregnancy she was still getting down so what s she talking about.goodluck ooo
ReplyDeletePoster abeg where ur baby daddy.. He nor dey nigeria....If u really love ur baby dad u will not involve ur self with the new guy.. why u born fir man may never marry u for house .. na desperation dey worry u
ReplyDeleteIf you don't love a guy or a lady please let them go!
ReplyDeletelady that caught her husband to be pants down with a man, PLEASE IN THE NAME OF GOD WHO CREATED THE HEAVEN AND EARTH. DO NOT GO AHEAD WITH THE MARRIAGE!!!!!! GOD truly loves you and many are wishing for God to love them this much to reveal such to them. Look its a month to your wedding not a week or even a day.CALL IT OFF NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sister im literally begging and crying to you, God has shown you the signs now. You cannot say you were not warned. forget that BS of its his first time. LIE!!!!!! He is a God forsaken faggot and an unrepentant liar. sister if you caught him with another woman, i would have told you to show him pepper, postpone the wedding but still marry him but this is different.Its a man! He only wants to use you as cover up for his sickness, have kids and still continue licking anus. Dont run into the fry pan with your eyes open. In fact don't run into hell with your eyes open. You can do it. Just switch off your phone and travel. If he has paid bride price, return it. if you guys have done court marriage, straight to divorce court. i wish im as fortunate as you and im able to enjoy God's blessings just like you when the time comes to choose a life partner! sister you are blessed. See how God just showed you everything on a platter. You'll only be foolish to damn God and go ahead, because He has warned and showed you. God bless you. It looks like your future is bright and your prince charming is around the corner. Remember it is always darkest before the dawn. You're Blessed, I can feel it.Please i wish you would read this and update me. just send me an email on how you're planning to handle it oomodon@yahoo.com. I wouldn't write you back don't worry. Your story would be a testimony,
ReplyDeleteWe attract who we are. If you have a lot of chaos in your life externally, it is because you have internal upheaval.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest a thorough check under the bonnet. Have you resolved personal issues/baggage you carried over from baby daddy? Have you learnt the lesson you needed to learn? Have you evolved? Are you a better person? Have you recognised and admitted the part you played in the breakup? Have you admitted to maybe unwisely bringing a child into an unstable relationship? (Heading to the altar does not signify a relationship is stable or viable)
If you answer any of the questions in the negative, I would advise you to leave all men alone for now until you sort yourself out.
A man is not the answer to a woman's problems. Love yourself, validate yourself and the type of love you need will find you.
All of them that ran their mouth that they can't be chased out of this blog, they somehow disappeared....hehehe...
ReplyDeleteThose days sha..
We are all here sha, ghost mode....
ReplyDeleteI am, I know two other 'new' ids( lips sealed) ...I'm sure most of others are too....
My gut feeling tells me this new guy is not good for you.
ReplyDeleteJust take things very very slowly with him. Make sure you DO NOT get pregnant for him and you do not marry him. There is no rush in love.
Give it some time.