Is it possible that you have stereo typed yourself like most Nollywood actors that you always complain of..?
Isnt it time to change roles?
Please step forward and read!
Hello Mrs Stella,
Great job you're doing with your blog, I hope people truly learn from all the stories, advice as well as the mistakes. While I rarely comment, I've been an ardent reader for years.
I've been married for a little number of years now and I would just like to share what I've learnt so far, especially with the single ladies.
If you keep finding yourself in the wrong type of relationship over and over again, perhaps its time for a reality check. Please ask yourself: 'What exactly am I doing to attract such people?'
I know this because I had found myself in such situations in the past. I realized that I had a 'type' (which there is nothing wrong in by the way, it's when that type does more harm than good that it becomes an issue) so I had to re-define what I wanted in a man and as a result of that, re-define myself. I wasn't perfect, so why ask for a perfect man?
Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to settle for less than you deserve, I literally had to make a list of all the qualities I wanted in a man and then split them under two sections. The 'Must-Haves' and the 'Maybes'. Please if His Must-Have attributes outweigh the Maybes, go for it!
I met my husband when we were both fresh out of the University when I had been in a previous relationship with someone who worked. Was it a drastic change for me? Yes. Was it out of my comfort zone? Bigger Yes. Was he my 'type'? Hell No. And everyday I'm thankful that I didn't end up with 'my type' because I ended up with one of the most amazing men on earth. He's a reflection of God's pure love to me and has been, is and will always be a blessing to our family.
So my simple message is this: If you keep finding yourself with the wrong partner, maybe its because you subconsciously choose the wrong type of man.
Think about it!
loads of love!
have a beautiful week.
Mrs B
Waiting for comments to roll in
ReplyDeleteAll this 4 single ladies?
DeleteOdiegwu!
When are we expecting 4 single men?
Load of crap 😬😬😬
ReplyDeleterude thang! Tell us why you think its crap! MISTURAH your opinions pls?
DeleteSmh@tura. Must you comment?
DeleteAll the "I have my spec/type" babes I hope you' all read this piece? Pls restrategize like this poster. Olorun a fun yin se
Smh@tura. Must you comment?
DeleteAll the "I have my spec/type" babes I hope you' all read this piece? Pls restrategize like this poster. Olorun a fun yin se
Ok
ReplyDeleteWell said!...
ReplyDeleteMean while,if you do all these and you are still not getting what you want,please go for deliverance....
Most Naija girls are possesed with demonic marine spirits...
1st time u make sense.ehn ehn no write rubbish under my coment inatago u hear me?i don forgive u my pikin for tonight.
DeleteGo ye n cus no more.
kikikikikikiki.......
Ok.
ReplyDeleteBut come o stellz, ur blood dey hot today o.u just dey post stories fiam fiam
I agree.
ReplyDeleteThe ideal man is the one that truly loves you and one you can completely submit to. This is the recipe for success.
DeleteIt's so simple but extremely difficult to accept because your heads have be clouded by the cares of this world and everything material.
Once you have these two, nothing, and I mean nothing will be impossible on anything the both you should agree on. Money, success comes eventually but you must get love and submission right.
Well written Bestman. You're wise.
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
ReplyDelete.
I love reading anything relationship and this blog have helped alot and in all that i have read i came to realise that love dont fucking exist.......
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
God bless you and you will be the best that you crave to be and when it is time to choose, you won't choose that will make your efforts a waste but that you will be forever grateful for.
DeleteSDK be grooming repected future husband's since 1900, one love ed Dreams.
Ok. We have heard
ReplyDeleteAs a man i need to hustle very well to wife my dream woman,lol
ReplyDeleteHmnnn...
ReplyDeleteIssokay.
Those who have ears, let them hear.
Wow! Very insightful and straight to the point.
ReplyDeleteI agree.... totally
Be firm but not too rigid, Ladies should be Flexible, we all want the best for ourselves but mmaybe what we deem fit for us might not be the best afterall, they might have been options we choose out of comfort or trying to fit in.
I want a rich man, caring, handsome, well learned and all that, it's not bad, but we forget that handsome, rich man can become an Ugly(accident) broke ass tomorrow.
Let's look beyond our types and Choose a Solid man over all those Superficial Stereotyping of our Ideal man.
Plus all u saıd, ı want a lıstenıng man.
DeleteIf u marry a lıstenıng man, a team player,and u r a wıse woman, u can neva go broke atleast not foreva.
Wıth me, tıns can only get better.
Btw ı dont want an handsome man.
Na wu handsome help?
Just be atleast my heıght or taller.
And av loads of money, den we r gud.
I like your comment
DeleteI guess d "my type" she means is my male version..... If that's it eziokwu I don't want my type cos it doesn't end in praise.... Oversabi go de worry two of us.... Change is good.
ReplyDeleteThata not what she means dear.
DeleteShe simply means, the kind of guys you trip for, your speck abi watin dem dey call am again...
She encourages... Please read through again no strength to type much.
She means the mundane and material things you desire. Look for real value. Submit to a man that truly loves you. Material things are just pecks but that's not the real deal. They come eventually ..
DeleteVery true
DeleteBestman, the way you hammer on this submission thing tho...
DeleteAnyway u made good comments
Ohkay, MIL was scolding me today cos I don't serve DH his meals and I told her it's cos he doesn't want me to serve him. Lol. But she's there while her son keeps sleeping outside matrimonial home, always on fone with different girls and cos of that he doesn't allow me to touch his fone plus the fact that we plus his mom and sister lives together, we cook "family" food which the sister always prefer doing cos she's used to doing that for him of which he prefers for his own reasons. He totally ignored my request to make my own meals how then would I take food another person cooked to serve him? Let the person that made the meal, serve him. Mother in-laws sef, he would never call his son to order with all these news about HIV/AIDS and the rest and she wants to call me to order cos I refused to serve him FOOD? So funny. And she's there watching how her son behaves o. Thank God I don't even sleep with him anymore and as soon as I can manage on my own, will take my dota and leave. They are expecting me to give them a 2nd child since the first is a year plus....lol. I no blame them. With the way their son is going, that's probably never going to happen. Don't wanna leave a broken marriage with plenty kids, one(a dota at that) is enough for me. And to think that this is his second marriage with the SAME main issue. And to think he made me believe it was the lady who cheated while it was him who started it while the lady in question tolled his footsteps. I no blame all of them. Mtcheew! Me no be fool o. I am not an idiot na. He should go and hook up with someone he can decieve
ReplyDeletePls dnt sleep with him darling till he does HIV test twice within a year, I can see you are tired, who wouldn't be? Pls be independent and leave if u want to but u can still commit it to God and forgive him if he changes
DeleteIt is well.
DeleteHmmmm
DeleteHmnnnn!
DeleteHe cheats and misbehaves
His mother is all controlling
His sister does the cookng
...and much more you may not have typed.
You don't have a home my dear!
And this (what I read up there) is not marriage.
Infact,I dunno again sef
DeleteSome MIL adiro loyal at all
Please leave that environment. Its not healthy for you and your child. It is well with you.
DeleteShe certainly does not bloggie! I hope you were not one of his numerous side chicks when he was married to his first wife, and he eventually married you when his wife left? You made a good decision to walk away from the marriage! I pity him, by the time peeps starts to count his number of marriages on his head, he would know how far! My MIL tried that nonsense with me when she came to do omogwu, I just walked into the kitchen and hissed. If she was all that good, why did she marry 4 husbands? Mschew! She later apologised when she saw that my husband was not ready to eat! Rubbish.
DeletePlease leave that environment. Its not healthy for you and your child. It is well with you.
DeleteYou are just a tenant in dt house. Pls make a decision quick cos dt man is married to his mum and sister. And they see nothing wrong in his actions. Small time now he will say women are devils and he is d one bringing out the evil.
DeleteAnnon 15:43, never knew him while he was married. I do my investigation right. We got 2geda after him and his wife ended everything and trust me, it took more than a year to acccept to marry him as I'm not attracted to divorcees. And he came to me with proposal and we made out after the whole process so I wasn't a side chick. Job hunting at the moment and once I get one, I'm moving out. Period
DeleteMy dear that's how those MILs acts these days. What i am presently going trough with mine, this comment section doesnt have enough room. And we don't live in the same house,state or even Country.
DeleteI eventually turned into a wild cat overnight and fought my Mother in law and 2 brothers in law! Dunno where the strength or will power came from! I couldn't take it anymore! They were very controlling and I saw my marriage slipping off my hands. DH was terrified of them. It's been 4 years since that major fight, they have continued to turn down DH's request for them to visit- that wild woman would give us a hard time, better to stay here in the East, they say! Hahahahaha! Never believed it would come to this! Those people turned me into a slave in my own home! There comes a time in a woman's life where she's gotta do what she gotta do! Thank you Jesus- My marriage is now blisssss!!!
DeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteAnother advice to ladies.
ReplyDeleteAaaaaargh
XOXO MYSTERY
Some peeps are so lucky with men,what about d person dt promise u heaven nd earth nd later disappear into tin air with his baby inside u nd make u do shameful things to survive,what are u going to call dt one? I did something awful at work just to pay for my last antenatal nd my boss is already on my neck calling it stealing,things we do to survive in dis life,love self go run if e hear
ReplyDeleteE-hugs darling
DeleteHmnnn it is well.
DeletePls try to tread on positivity.
Don't do anything bad just to survive.
Tough times never last but tough people do.
Be strong.
Na wah
DeleteE-Hugs dear
True
ReplyDeleteI don't belive there is any wrong type and right type, everybody has what they are looking for, as unbelievable as it might be some women are looking for men that they can smoke weed with and drink with and just be happy, cuz that's their own definition of being real.
ReplyDeleteThe real issue for me is not type, I think it's doing your home work well on a guy before agreeing to be his girlfriend.
As for me I'm looking for a guy I can be myself with and accepts me for me, so because I haven't found this, should I revaluate my type..no!!
So madam everybody knows how to advice when it comes to love, but in the end it's every mallam to his kettle.
Aunty uche face your marriage.
But we has a point though...and you too
DeleteWe are all learning.
Easy...
Right, every mallam to his own.kettle. some ladies like the bad boy image. A wife told me she wished her husband was the bad boy type! Her husband cooks, clean washes their clothes and goes to the market, yet, this woman always complains! I smh @ her. Every lady wants tall, handsome and successful men, before they look at his tribe, his family, his lifestyle and religion. But you can't get it all. Ladies have to compromise, he might be successful, but not attractive, you might like his tribe, but not his family, he can possess every attributes you desire, but his religion is an obstacle. So, ladies, weigh all attributes in a scale and see which you can let go to have a balance. There is no white or black rule about relationships. It is the most highly un predicted situation.
DeleteNa real hmmmmmmmmmm.
DeleteShout out to SDK whose platform has been a great Institution where you don't need to pay for tuitions, you dont need to read for exams, you don't need to write any exams, no strike, no stress...all you need is LEARN and I have been doing that ever since.
Marriage is an Institution where you don't ever graduate but one written exams before another and you are not expected to graduate, ever!
I am learning o and I am thankful to God my first and only relationship didn't work, if it has worked what would I have been saying again now?I am grateful for the opportunity you are giving me to see my imperfections and know no one is perfect even if I want all to be perfect and the opportunity for those things I wasn't able to change (even when I only wish it was Your will) and the opportunity to see the difference (my wish and Your will),so, I ask again like I have always asked and wanted, "Let your will be done"!
"Ayanfeoluwa"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteokay
ReplyDelete#GODWIN™
Wow words of wisdom , sometimes we are our own problem in finding the right man.we are too selective na we nor perfect ,we dey look for Mr perfect *sighs* a word is enuf for wise my two cents
ReplyDeleteThank God that you are married to the right man.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to marriage, beauty/physical look should be bonus, its an attractive quality to look good, yeah, but after it attracts u like a magnet to the person, the character & compatibility should align with urs, if not pls press eject, evn if sge has a BOMB pussy... A bomb pussy sure as hell cannot withstand the storm that reality blows in a marriage... So wen u see guys like Will Smith & Jada, u'd probably say they don't fit or he shld hv gone for a betteer lookn woman, but No, he looked beyond the physical & put a ring on her ass, and they're stl waxing strong. Another example is Jay and Beee, well u get the picture now abi?? If u were to pair couples for marriage, wldnt u give Bee to Will Smith or Babyface?? But on the other hand, a man that dsnt marry his type is way more likely to cheat when opportunity presents itself with "his type" as his secretary or colleague, itss all one big gamble.
ReplyDeleteYes and if he were to marry "his type" and other things didn't add up, he would still cheat with someone that is not his type.
DeleteNice WriteUp @ Mrs B, The Problem 60% of Ladies are Having Because they wanna B With the Rich guys, which sometimes turn Out Ugly, No Babe wanna Settle with (e go Better) type of guys, well wish them All the Best, But Always Make Your Priorities straight And No wat U want and Not going for what u want
ReplyDeleteSometimes what you think is good for you might not really be the best for you.
DeleteTrue that.
ReplyDeleteI did the same exactly thing like few months ago. After dating 3 men who alike just with different names but "my type". But I was so miserable with them. Then I decided to give a guy who is not my type a chance, so far it has been a very good decision. I actually like it that way and I am very happy with my choice thus far.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm but this doesn't mean I should agree for a guy with body odour but worships me..
DeletePlease you guys shouldn't make me feel bad
There are some things I can't stand
@Ziz but you can help him with tips that will reduce the body odour. And that will make him love you even more!
DeleteI have an aunt who is crazy about guys that are fashion contuous. She dated like 2 nice ones who ended up breaking her heart. When her husband was asking for her hand in marriage she was like "chukwu aaju"! Called his suits "coatsublair" and all sorts. Family members talked to her to calm down and give the guy a chance. Today they are married wiith beautiful kids and happy. He is always looking dapper now. He loves and adores her a lot and they behave like siblings and infact I admire them a lot.
She molded him into what he is now, into her type and spec. And one thing about those men that we consider not to be "my type" is that most of them are loving and caring and are always ready to learn and chAnge..
@Ziz but you can help him with tips that will reduce the body odour. And that will make him love you even more!
DeleteI have an aunt who is crazy about guys that are fashion contuous. She dated like 2 nice ones who ended up breaking her heart. When her husband was asking for her hand in marriage she was like "chukwu aaju"! Called his suits "coatsublair" and all sorts. Family members talked to her to calm down and give the guy a chance. Today they are married wiith beautiful kids and happy. He is always looking dapper now. He loves and adores her a lot and they behave like siblings and infact I admire them a lot.
She molded him into what he is now, into her type and spec. And one thing about those men that we consider not to be "my type" is that most of them are loving and caring and are always ready to learn and chAnge..
Sumptous, some body odour dey stubborn o
DeleteThat one no follow for "my type" o
Park well with your body odour mbok.
Lol
Married for the past 10 yrs and am still counting........yaaaaaaaaaa!!!
ReplyDeleteI am blessed!!!
Oya where's the bitter old hargard pussy anty gwegwelina?? Come and die under my comment.....
I no dey tire, o remi tii
It's when you're unrealistic in setting the criteria for your 'type' is when it becomes an issue.some ladies are so funny! They are like "my guy must be tall, cute, six packs , must drive a Benz , must earn a seven figure salary,dress well" and other irrelevant physical qualities. I'm not inferring that all these are bad, I mean, who does not like good things? But when you make physical qualities the basis for choosing a partner without giving attention to the important qualities such as his character, is he responsible? Is he prone to violence? Is he MATURE? is he a leader? Is he faithful and so on, that's when there is a problem. A man could be a walking Adonis but inside, he could be a demon. So, it is important for us to set our priorities right. If you find an angel of a man who happens to have all these desirable physical qualities(which is rarw ), congrat to you.
ReplyDeleteSilent observer
Exactly silent observer! It I'd also applicable to men! They want to be seen with beautiful women only! A man I knew, walked out if a relationship with a beautiful girl, he said she talks and cuss anyhow! He tried to caution and teach her how to talk, but she is always spewing gutter talk and like watching porn as if her life depends on it, and playing games. She is reluctant about her work, only wants men to be giving her money. He ran away. No lady wants to suffer with a man because of what many do to their wives later.
DeleteOk.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.
ReplyDelete@Galore
When you zero your mind that you're not going in for the best in marriage that's when the best will come.
ReplyDeleteAlways good to pray but when you put all your mind in marriage, it'll be as if its running away from you. Free your mind and the main guy will not even demand for sex until the right time.
Noted!...next gist
ReplyDeleteThanks Mrs. B
ReplyDeleteAll they want is ready made men, and they'll keep saying they don't want married men. When you no go become third wife. Learn to go outside your confort zone. Love doesn't come easy but it takes dedication and discipline to keep it when it comes.
Shut up small boy.. go and mk money before u talk of women..
DeleteAnybody, male of female who murders his God given name like this needs rehab. #cant deal
DeleteLol..... Indigo - Your generation haven't made the money I've made and i choose to spell my name any way i like..... You don't like it - get a rope n hang yourself.
DeleteEhn? We have heard. Sincerely tho is marriage, sex, cheating husbands n wives d only issues in life? With d d chronicles av read so far, av come to believe there are no good men/women out there n am nw so scared of being in a relationship/getting married😏
ReplyDeleteI like ur I'd
DeleteLmao. You guys will not kill somebody on this blog
DeleteYou aren't scared boo
DeleteYou don't have a boo
Or whatever boo you think you have doesn't take you as his boo
ok naaa.
ReplyDeleteFor the ladies, not sure guys are into this type thing
ReplyDeleteMy must-haves? He must be God-fearing and hardworking. I hate lazy men with passion. I used to say he must be intelligent and versatile in knowlege but it pains me to make that a maybe. In summation, marry a man that loves you more or at least, loves you as much as you love him, but never marry a man you love more. He wil take you for granted. Women are meant to be loved by men as Christ instructed, not vice versa. A woman's duty is to submit to a man who has shown her undiluted love, and submission translates to love for most men. Truly, the bible is a complete book
ReplyDeleteThere's a saying,"a woman should be so hidden in Christ that for a man to find her, he needs go through Christ before he can find her", if that is settled, then that man can be mine and me his and we will live happily ever after in Christian without any fear.
Delete"Ayanfeoluwa "
My must-haves? He must be God-fearing and hardworking. I hate lazy men with passion. I used to say he must be intelligent and versatile in knowlege but it pains me to make that a maybe. In summation, marry a man that loves you more or at least, loves you as much as you love him, but never marry a man you love more. He wil take you for granted. Women are meant to be loved by men as Christ instructed, not vice versa. A woman's duty is to submit to a man who has shown her undiluted love, and submission translates to love for most men. Truly, the bible is a complete book
ReplyDeleteIf something works for a BV lol they suddenly become experts...Ok, oooooo
ReplyDeleteLmao
DeleteNoted
ReplyDeleteNoted!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you
ReplyDeleteWell,I still believe God has the final say in our lives
ReplyDeleteCongratulobia. Don't force your life choices on others. What worked for you won't necessarily work for others.
ReplyDeleteBut I miss Lady I go ,hope she is fine? Mrs Korks pls reachout to her for me,I miss her motherly advise
ReplyDeleteGood Writeup.. But dnt forget women will alws be women (not Caitlyn type o) their Yes means No.. they wuld want all features in deir men to be complete but end up getting a dumb as heart breaker
ReplyDeleteAll those bvs who like to lie to us single stop the deceit,how perfect is your marriage? Mtchewwwww on this blog some 'married women and their homes are born again and angels' stop deceiving yourself and writing what you wish. Liar liar. Step into chronicles because it will be too late after too much cover up for yourself and family.
ReplyDeleteAngelic write ups
Mtchewwwwwww
I use to have a type in my university days and early 20's. Looks was very important to me, as I am quite pretty myself. Then you needed to have a car, cant go on dates taking taxi. My 1st serious boyfriend had dese qualities but d guy showed me pepper. He must have cheated on me with like 3girls.
ReplyDeleteI still continued my quest for mr handsome and rich,any guy I was introduced to. He's too dark,he's too short,he's too fair, he's a broke ass, he cant speak proper English.
As soon as I entered my late 20's,i let go of dat he must be fine. Looks wasn't a biggy,so far he looked decent enough. But my hatred for broke guys still continued.
I met a guy,no so good in d looks department, but xtremly rich and sex and chemistry was perfect. So I thot dis must be my DREAM MAN. Low and behold my dream man goes out daily gettn home drunk 1am,2am, and slapped me couple of times. And offcorse cheated on me.
Now im older and I know dere is no such thing as a dream man. Now its not compulsory he's Denzel Washington and very rich. Now I need sm1 specially sent to me from God. He must be hardworking and doing well,must treat me well and look decent,not necessarily good looking.
U are still confused dear
DeleteYou took out of my mouth. She's still confused....
DeleteShe isnt confused hun ...she just grew UP
DeleteThe older, the wiser ma'am even if you don't have any bitter experience .Everyday experience will teach a single lady in her early 30's to take it calmly not to rush in so as not to rush out (talking from my own point of view) and if she is intelligent and wise with God on her side, she won't miss it (God helps us all)
DeleteCan we stop demonizing Handsome men or rich men?
ReplyDeleteDon't make the mistake of marrying an ugly man and start thinking he will be faithful...those ones can cheat like there is no tomorrow.Their inferiority complex does not have part two.
Handsome men are not devils
Rich men are not devils
Give your broke or comfortable boo the same money that rich man has and he will do worse.
As for me, i will stick to my taste. Handsome , dark-skinned and big penis that has veins.
XOXO MYSTERY
Hahahqhqhqhqhq
DeleteThat has veins
I love my type of men
They don't fail me
I love them tall, dark and lanky...
I love them rich, flashy and flamboyant
I love the life of luxury
And those kinda people are my type
I know what I want and my head is well in the game.
Hahahahahah...
Delete
ReplyDeleteStories that stimulate the clit...Mrs B,u can only talk abt urself...
It's just like tellin a graduate or Msc holder to marry an illiterate...hw e go fit work?
In marriage,alot is considered....setting ur standards has neva bin wrong...wat is wrong in wanting some satisfactory qualities in a man/woman u want to marry?
U have to put a lot of things into consideration...
1.Social compatibility :Would u be proud to introduce ur hubby/wife to ur friends?...Is she your type?..Most men hate lousy,"all over the place" women..Is he/she presentable enough? I know of a couple who do not hold hands or walk together...The wife walks in front while the husband walks behind carrying their 9-month old baby...Have never seen the woman laugh or gist with the man in public..Sometimes I wonder if she was forced...She's tall,fair and very pretty while the hubby is short,not too good-looking buh he appears gentle...
2.Intellectual level:..Some men are backward in reasoning.Apologies to the men here.Every single lady wants a 21st century man not one with an "old-school" mentality...There's a particular level of understanding /intellectual level a man should attain before he starts talking marriage.
3.Financial security:What is the sense in marrying a man who is still squatting with his frnds?Or a man who doesn't have a decent source of income...
These 3 are just the ones I Wana highlight...
I personally will neva go below my standards. Am a graduate and I was very strong-willed enough to refuse marriage proposal frm a man who didn't see the 4 walls of a University because he wasn't my type.
I wanted a graduate,someone who is Educated...A 21st century man who is exposed and who knows wats up...
I don't regret that decision...I have my own set rules of what I desire in a man...God will never judge anyone for having a choice...I prayed everyday abt my desire..I had abt 10 qualities I wanted in a man which I summarized as BIG PENIS.
B-Bank account very fat**wide grin
I-Industrious
G-God-fearing
P-Polite
E-Energetic in Bed
N-Non-asssuming
I-Irrestible
S-Sexy
Mrs B,settling for less is wrong...However one has to seek the face of God...
Am happily married nw to a man with these qualities I listed above and more for 3 years now and we have a cute angel who will be 2years in October...
I waited for "my type" and God kept his word...!!!
Wow! I'm happy for you. You're lucky to be among the few it worked for, it doesn't work for everybody.
DeleteI like u
DeleteWow! I'm happy for you. You're lucky to be among the few it worked for, it doesn't work for everybody.
DeleteNice one, what ever your heart so desires, ask in faith and it shall be given to you.God will continue to strengthen you, Amen.
DeleteAnon 13.16, how do u ppl get pregnant for dese kinda bastards. And ur a working class lady,so ur not a child.
ReplyDeleteYou let useless mofo's pure inside you without commitment. So now ur paying ante-natal and taking care of dis pregnancy without support. Even if u made a mistake and didn't use condom, what happened to emergency contraception(postinol).
What happened to having an abortion, im just being realistic here. Majority of ladies weda dey want to deny or accept have done atlst 1 abortion or known sm1 who has done weda in university or so.
I just started dating one guy from d 1st time we had sex he wanted to go inside me without condom, even dou I was xtrmly horny havnt had sex for atlst 1yr. I told him im sorry, u must use a condom.
Now we'v been dating for awhile, no matter how much he keeps begging to just enter 1min without a condom. I say HELL NO.
I'm too old to mistakenly get pregnant,Dat's for kids. If I get pregnant,its bcos I purposely want to.
Some ladies lack self awareness, they don't even count dere ovulation period, some don't even know what date to xpect dere period. Even if you always use protection,u still need to know dese things. Know how ur body works as a woman,some even open dere legs for evry tom,dick and harry dat says I LOVE YOU. Some will get pregnant and don't even know. If u like be depending on the man, dat shebi it's his duty to buy condom, don't use ur brain also. PREGNANCY EVEN BETTER, WAT OF HIV
I haven't had an abortion
DeleteAnd I don't know people who have
Lier
DeleteKudos Mrs B.
ReplyDeleteThe Mrs B I know on this blog is actually intelligent and puts out her ideas convincingly without being rude.
I subscribe to what you say.
Especially in the aspect of physical appearance and material things.
BUT
You are human, and humans always concede in the end?
What is important for one person is not for the other. One man's priority differs from another.
Are you writing this as a consolation for not getting the kind of man you truely dreamed of? Do you watch movies and admire certain kind of men you once dreamed of? *winks*. And when you're watching the movie and your husband serves you tea, u thank ur God that 'atleast' your hubby is nice though he's not physically what you wanted/financially what you wanted. Then you go bed convincing yourself that this is how a real family should be, peace, serenity, even though you don't love your husband with a passion but he is husband material unlike those hot 'boyfriend materials'
(note: im not referring to mrs B but generally)
1 thing to debunk is: true that regular handsome rich men cheat or act selfish or narcissistic. But ugly/bad looking broke guys cheat too and come with their baggage. Some are so over possessive, over protective, jealous, inferiority complex so much in them and ofcourse self pity. These same bad looking guys will cheat on you with the 1st girl that admires them and tell you u never made them feel loved or desired. Fact is, there's no class of guy that can't do what he will...
This is why white girls have it good, there is this freedom, liberty in their society that allows women to self determine. THEY DONT HAVE TO settle for less just to settle down. Marriage is not a must do for them. They realise some women aren't meant for marriage and not everyone can even give birth or fit to be a mother. Some enjoy a man for his beauty and go ahead and marry an adonis, hot bod and they go for vacations and roll in the sand. Some prefer the good life. Some prefer college sweethearts fat faced homely men who will take time off to care for the kids. It's a matter of taste. No one will force you to get married nor will you feel the compulsion to. So, no need to start cutting down your preferences or to be with a man that is not hot or ure not sexually attracted to just cos he is homely and responsible meanwhile you're not as happy as you should, you only feel fortunate.
However,
We are talking about Africa.
We African women always end up doing what is 'right'. Right in d eyes of God(sarcasm), right for our kids, right for peace to reign, right for our family names and right for society. Never living for ourselves.
So, Good choice Mrs B and everyone.
I love you BonaParte NN. You got the whole picture.
DeleteAs for me Jesus didn't die on d cross for me to settle and marry just any1
ReplyDeleteWow, epic!
DeleteShe made a whole lot of sense.
ReplyDeleteaint no rules with men, it takes the grace of God and a LITTLE BIT OF LUCK... i dated my types all through my early years , non was willing to commit, players and no good men.. then i met this guy totally not my type on all levels, not even on my level but chemistry was goog, he appeared God fearing and loved me to pieces(so i thot).. i practically paid for our wedding , got us an apartment and all dat stff ...den his eal self started to show...
ReplyDeleteserial cheat he is, even attemted t o slep with my househelp...liar, cheat , wife beater..rresponsible name it....
ive conclude its better to stick with ur tpe cos men give the same shit and its more painful when it comes from someone u ordinarily would not lok at twice...
Wow!...
DeleteYou paid for your wedding??...
Choi...why do girls keep doing that?...
Sorry oh...
@XOXO MYSTERY you are so funny..Hahahahahaaa..
ReplyDeleteLol at some comments! please don't crucify me just yet though. I never said I was an expert, I just wanted to share because it could help someone. if however, it came out as haughty, I apologize. I'm no 'know-it-all' just living and learning.
ReplyDeleteI never asked anyone to settle, in fact I stated: Do not settle for less than you're worth. Now I realize that there is a fine line between letting go of ones type and settling. Infact, what ive seen is that sometimes the guys you settle for might just not appreciate what they have... sort of like casting pearls before a swine.
By letting go of my type, I didn't settle for my husband but chose to be with my husband because I let go of unimportant things and focused on the big picture.
Also, I'm in no way demonizing or castigating wealthy or handsome men, a man who will cheat will cheat regardless of his physical attributes or finances. It only takes the grace of God for a man to stay faithful. I know people who are married to the perfect looking men who are faithful and I also know people whose husbands are *ahem* but they can cheat for Africa. Besides if all ladies run away from the well to do and handsome men, will these men marry themselves? and who's to say there are no godly, successful and handsome men ehn?
The 'type, spec' issue I'm talking about is when that you stereotype and choose unimportant qualities over the important. that's why I also mentioned the must-haves and maybes. Naturally there are qualities that you should not bend your rules on. I'm not saying a graduate should get married to an illiterate or you should get married to someone you aren't attracted to. I'm saying sometimes our demands and wants are unreasonable and if that's the case, you might need to let go of that 'type'.
Thanks a lot Stella for posting this, God bless us all!
Well written Mrs B, very well written!Can we be friends?I love the way you think.
DeleteBeen trying for ages to post this so if the comment appears multiple times, no vex. Lol at some comments! please don't crucify me just yet though. I never said I was an expert, I just wanted to share because it could help someone. if however, it came out as haughty, I apologize. I'm no 'know-it-all' just living and learning.
ReplyDeleteI never asked anyone to settle, in fact I stated: Do not settle for less than you're worth. Now I realize that there is a fine line between letting go of ones type and settling. Infact, what ive seen is that sometimes the guys you settle for might just not appreciate what they have... sort of like casting pearls before a swine.
By letting go of my type, I didn't settle for my husband but chose to be with my husband because I let go of unimportant things and focused on the big picture.
Also, I'm in no way demonizing or castigating wealthy or handsome men, a man who will cheat will cheat regardless of his physical attributes or finances. It only takes the grace of God for a man to stay faithful. I know people who are married to the perfect looking men who are faithful and I also know people whose husbands are *ahem* but they can cheat for Africa. Besides if all ladies run away from the well to do and handsome men, will these men marry themselves? and who's to say there are no godly, successful and handsome men ehn?
The 'type, spec' issue I'm talking about is when that you stereotype and choose unimportant qualities over the important. that's why I also mentioned the must-haves and maybes. Naturally there are qualities that you should not bend your rules on. I'm not saying a graduate should get married to an illiterate or you should get married to someone you aren't attracted to. I'm saying sometimes our demands and wants are unreasonable and if that's the case, you might need to let go of that 'type'.
Thanks a lot Stella for posting this, God bless us all!
Been trying for ages to post this so if the comment appears multiple times, no vex. Lol at some comments! please don't crucify me just yet though. I never said I was an expert, I just wanted to share because it could help someone. if however, it came out as haughty, I apologize. I'm no 'know-it-all' just living and learning.
ReplyDeleteI never asked anyone to settle, in fact I stated: Do not settle for less than you're worth. Now I realize that there is a fine line between letting go of ones type and settling. Infact, what ive seen is that sometimes the guys you settle for might just not appreciate what they have... sort of like casting pearls before a swine.
By letting go of my type, I didn't settle for my husband but chose to be with my husband because I let go of unimportant things and focused on the big picture.
Also, I'm in no way demonizing or castigating wealthy or handsome men, a man who will cheat will cheat regardless of his physical attributes or finances. It only takes the grace of God for a man to stay faithful. I know people who are married to the perfect looking men who are faithful and I also know people whose husbands are *ahem* but they can cheat for Africa. Besides if all ladies run away from the well to do and handsome men, will these men marry themselves? and who's to say there are no godly, successful and handsome men ehn?
The 'type, spec' issue I'm talking about is when that you stereotype and choose unimportant qualities over the important. that's why I also mentioned the must-haves and maybes. Naturally there are qualities that you should not bend your rules on. I'm not saying a graduate should get married to an illiterate or you should get married to someone you aren't attracted to. I'm saying sometimes our demands and wants are unreasonable and if that's the case, you might need to let go of that 'type'.
Thanks a lot Stella for posting this, God bless us all!
Lol at some comments! please don't crucify me just yet though. I never said I was an expert, I just wanted to share because it could help someone. if however, it came out as haughty, I apologize. I'm no 'know-it-all' just living and learning.
ReplyDeleteI never asked anyone to settle, in fact I stated: Do not settle for less than you're worth. Now I realize that there is a fine line between letting go of ones type and settling. Infact, what ive seen is that sometimes the guys you settle for might just not appreciate what they have... sort of like casting pearls before a swine.
By letting go of my type, I didn't settle for my husband but chose to be with my husband because I let go of unimportant things and focused on the big picture.
Also, I'm in no way demonizing or castigating wealthy or handsome men, a man who will cheat will cheat regardless of his physical attributes or finances. It only takes the grace of God for a man to stay faithful. I know people who are married to the perfect looking men who are faithful and I also know people whose husbands are *ahem* but they can cheat for Africa. Besides if all ladies run away from the well to do and handsome men, will these men marry themselves? and who's to say there are no godly, successful and handsome men ehn?
The 'type, spec' issue I'm talking about is when that you stereotype and choose unimportant qualities over the important. that's why I also mentioned the must-haves and maybes. Naturally there are qualities that you should not bend your rules on. I'm not saying a graduate should get married to an illiterate or you should get married to someone you aren't attracted to. I'm saying sometimes our demands and wants are unreasonable and if that's the case, you might need to let go of that 'type'.
Thanks a lot Stella for posting this, God bless us all!
But she didn't ask any one to settle Na, she even said dont settle for less than you deserve. I think what she means is that any qualities that aren't important should not be a criteria to choosing a partner.
ReplyDeleteBonaparte NN, "Are you writing this as a consolation for
ReplyDeletenot getting the kind of man you truely
dreamed of? Do you watch movies and
admire certain kind of men you once
dreamed of? *winks*. And when you're
watching the movie and your husband
serves you tea, u thank ur God that
'atleast' your hubby is nice though he's
not physically what you wanted/
financially what you wanted. Then you
go bed convincing yourself that this is
how a real family should be, peace,
serenity, even though you don't love
your husband with a passion but he is husband material unlike those hot
'boyfriend materials'"
I actually just read this. Wow. All cause I offered tips that helped me in the hopes that it could help others? Wow.
Sorry but I didn't write to console myself. I dont have to prove my happiness to anyone, much less on a blog where no one knows me.
And again on the 'settling' I specifically stated: Don't settle for less than you're worth.
Thanks for your analysis.
Hmmm,all single ladies in SNM forum, please take note.
ReplyDeleteIf we all do, maybe just maybe there will be some sanity in the marriage Institution and to add God to it, smooth will be the sail of that marriage ship.
Delete