Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narrative.

Hmmmm ......does finding closure really help?

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

FINDING CLOSURE.

 Stella,

hope I feel better after sending this post because I am really worried at the moment. 

The best friends I've had have been guys even while in the university. This had really helped me a lot in my relationships because some how I'm able to see things from a guy's perspective. I'm quick to spot a player and know when a guy is just after the game. Another thing about being friends with guys is that I'm free of all the drama of "them say them say" gossip. 

Sometime during my youth service I met this really cool guy and we became friends. We worked in the same organisation in Abuja. His cousin too was also a youth corper but as an Abuja big girl she didn't roll in my circle so we were just on hello and hi basis. Ben and I clicked immediately. There was nothing I couldn't tell him. He even knew my boyfriend then. When I introduced them I discovered they attended the same uni. There were even times my boyfriend will come to pick me from Ben's house. 

Most times if I go to Ben's house to hang out I end up spending the night. It was a family house only without his parents. He had siblings, cousins and relatives living in a big 6 bedroom duplex. My boyfriend's place wasn't close to my office so I go there mostly during weekends. So almost all Ben's family got to know me. Each time I go there after close of work they'd prepare a huge dinner for me. Ben was always feeding me. He said I was too slim and he was scared one day a slight breeze might just blow me away. At times during lunch break we would dash over to his place for lunch. 

He was my friend and confidant. There was a month I didn't see my period and we discussed it. He jokingly said I was pregnant for my bf. That was when I told him I was still a virgin and my relationship wasn't sexual. He told me he was really proud of me. 

During one of my trips home I met someone else that was interested in dating me. After a while I decided to give it a try. My boyfriend was from a very wealthy family and I had reservations about marrying him. I'm not from a poor home but I've met his family too and I knew I won't be accepted as one of them. Even if you had money they'd still discriminate.

 They had this notion about new money and money that had pedigree. Even though we were really in love I didn't want to put my eggs in one basket. So when I had a side guy I didn't inform my best friend Ben. He had too much respect for me so I didn't want him to know I was double dating.

My side guy became very serious. I went for my introduction and I didn't tell Ben and my friends. When it was time for marriage I called it quits with my boyfriend. He wasn't happy but he was able to understand my point. His family would never accept me. 

At that time I was done with youth service and had a small paying job. So I got to see less of Ben. I had a heart talk with him and I explained how I broke up with my bf and I was getting married. He was shocked when I handed him the IV. Later he said he was really happy for me but he won't be able to make it for the wedding and promised to send my gift. That was the last I heard from him. After my marriage he wouldn't pick my calls. I tried to contact him even sent people to him. Still nothing. After a while he changed his number. I had moved to another city to join my husband.

Few days ago I met his cousin at a bank. We exchanged pleasantries and I asked about Ben. She gave me a cold stare and told me I'm heartless and wicked. That I broke Ben's heart. I was shocked. I tried to explain to her that we never dated but she found it hard to believe. She felt I used him for his money and dumped him to marry someone else. Apparently that was the opinion of Ben's family. 

They never saw us as friends. 

And I understand because I spent nights in his room with him but honestly nothing ever happened. We never even kissed for once. To me he was like a big brother. I never thought in that direction but all along Ben had something else in mind and never told me. I feel sad and I think I need to clear my name. I'm not wicked and heartless. I had no inkling Ben had feelings for me. It was never my intention to hurt him. I still miss my best friend. 

But I want to ask. Is it impossible to be friends with the opposite sex and the relationship will be just platonic? Because now that I'm married my husband won't hear of me having male friends but somehow I still miss that part of my life. 

Ben is married now as well but I want to establish contacts with him because I need closure.

What do you guys think?

#Stellassiddonlookmodeactivated.