Poster begs that you study her case very well and do not type just NEGODU....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE CONFESSION AND THE GUILT THEREAFTER.....
Hi Stella,
I am in my early twenties. I really don't know how to start my story. I met my husband-to-be at a social gathering about 4 years back. We connected and talked for a while before we started dating. I actually had series of prayers before I met him and I just knew he was the one.
Although I still spoke to my aunties in my prayer group and they confirmed he was OK. During this four years it's been one trouble or the other, we argue a lot and we make up but during those argument he says whenever he wants to breakup finally with me he will report me to my family and then we are done.
I must confess I am very troublesome, stubborn and I believe in equal rights but as an African man he still has reservations about the whole right thing.
So I was supposed to go for a 1year programme and told him about it, he asked that I stay nearby but I said I wanted to go far and experience life, that led to a serious argument and we didn't talk for months. Now this is where the trouble began...
I am with an unbroken hymen but while I was small I had a older family friend who comes to my house fingers me and I was just too small and naive to know what he was doing, after a while I just ran each time I see him. So during my programme, in my mind I was single and so I had a colleague who help me out and stupidly I became vulnerable and allowed my self to be fingered by him because that all we did - it was like a making out thing but he never kissed me nor touch my boobs and all this happened with my cloths on.
A couple of months back my boyfriend came back and he wanted us to continue from where we stopped before my programme. I, in my good girl spirit, confessed all that I did with my colleague and it broke him, I cried for days and later he said he has forgiven me and even proposed and bought so many landed properties in my name and we moved on but of late I have been thinking about what I did and I feel so guilty and sad.
This is affecting my relationship because I just keep pitying him and blaming myself for this stupid act I did.
Although my hymen is still unbroken but I just can't call myself a virgin because of all I have done. I am a depressed young lady calling out for help, I am at the edge of attempting suicide so please advice me. But don't curse me. I just need HELP Because he gets jealous if my phone rings or if his call is waiting.
I just feel so depressed, fear is starting to set in to me. I feel I am in real shit, I have been having sleepless night and eye ache because of the tears. I feel like I have failed him and this guilt is killing me. What can I do to save myself and my relationship?
Please don't type just NEGODO on my case, I need help. I would appreciate if this could be posted ASAP because I am loosing my mind as the day goes by.
Why are you punishing yourself?...you know what?I think the re-fingering triggered the pain of the first one which you had locked away for long.
Why dont you discuss how you feel with your man?
Work on your mind and learn to release your emotions....Love is a beautiful thing and you found one,stop sweating it.
Ok waiting for comments to roll in.
ReplyDeleteWhat u need is to forgive urself first,did u say u ve failed him? But hw dearie,we re humans,and can make mistake at any point in tym,so dust urself up,and stop wallowing in self pity,build ur relationship by staying away frm anytin dat will make him doubt u.
Delete******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS******
Just negodu this chick felix. Can't you make your own reasonable contribution too? Anu mpama :)
DeleteSo em Jay u finally borrowed brain kikikikiki. Well.good to know
DeleteCHUKWU NNA... JUS NEGODU OOOOOOOO....see as you re bothering urself.....Dear, if u are sure and i repeat....if u are sure that you didn't have sex with the guy who fondled abi inserted into you. Please take it easy on yourself and face other things...channel this energy into developing your self spiritually, morally, academically and grow into a woman, desirable to your man, ur family and d world......Chai, such a young girl....JUS NEGODU.
DeleteLi-yon Vls.
Just negodu!
DeleteWhat do you want us to advise you on?
Not everything you send to blog....
What's actually making you depress or sucidal?
Abeg park one side let people with real problem see road post there chronicle.
Fish brain.
Just negodu...
DeletePoster you are a beautiful lady with a beautiful soul... Many ladies won't confess. You need to show him now you can be trusted. Just be very transparent. After a while, he'll trust u again and out grow the insecurity. If he doesn't pls fly away(nothing worse than an overjealous man)
)
Forgive yourself for the fingering of that stupid animal during your childhood, it wasnt your fault in any shape,form or way. The one that happened with the other guy is called experimentation...Lols... Just foggerit, dearie. Move on and shake away the guilt. You are human! Learn, live and move on. Life is too short... Xoxo
Andy Sho
My dear u shouldn't av told him but d deed has already been done. Y are u feeling bad? As long as I'm concerned, u are still a virgin so carry urself high cos u still didn't loose it wen u were vulnerable. Just blank your mind and forget it. U want to commit suicide for wot? Cos u were fingered? My dear don't even dare. Take it as one of d things u learnt whuile growing up. Your man still loves u and dats all that matters. Don't even let him make u feel bad if he ever brings up d matter. All that matters is that u are still a virgin.
DeleteNegodu
Delete*** mynameisSkelewu
Sweedy,
Delete(1)discuss or rather pray to God to give u peace of mind...(know the feeling cos i was once dere,your conscience would be telling you God wont listen but he does)
(2)i just have dis feeling,u are with dis guy OUT OF PITY....know what you want in the relationship,dont stay in it cos your family knows him or you have dated him for so long .
(3)if u must continue the relationship,seat your man down n talk seriously...
Tell him ,you told him the truth cos u dont want to hide anything from him (even if na wash.)
Wish u success.
Thanks to that lady that decide to send Saturday amebo gist (1) using my i.d.....
I VEX WHEN I SEE AMA Ooh,stella no con post my comment..(it wasn't cool )
B.v NeNe......
I forgot to mention oooh...dont commit Suicide ooh......
DeleteMore reason God would be angry with you ooh.
Some other people have being commiting sins since (#Side eyes at SIDE CHICK,CHEATING WIVES ANG GIRLFRIEND ) n the have not even thought of SUI??? not to talk of CIDE!!!
B.V NeNe
U have a lot of growing up to do! What exactly is ur problem? Someone that's not yet married to you is buying properties in ur name and u still want to kill Urself when most married men don't buy properties in their wife's name. Except if there's more to the story that u ain't saying. Just take a chill pill and be faithful to ur man
DeleteSo you want to kill yourself?? Mtcheeew on to the next post
DeletePoster, so you want to kill yourself for nothing.You should have told him that the guy fingered your toto.
DeleteI know why you feel so guilty, there is not much difference between fingerings and fucking the toto. I can make a girl release just by touching the clit lovingly.
Get over it. You did not kill anyone. It was a mistake. There is nothing you can do to change the past. Just continue being a good girl and you man will never regret marrying you.
I am impressed that there are still some girls with conscience in this country. You will make a wonderful wife.
*You should not have told him that the guy.........
DeleteJusus fix it!
ReplyDeleteGo on ur knees for many kneeling will make u stand up right with God!
********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
You don't hv shame oh this gal.... I've practically ran out of insults on u, yet u cnt borrow brain.
DeleteJesus has already fixed it.
DeleteMy dear you're too young for all the unnecessary punishment and emotional stress you're putting yourself through. He's already forgiven you, God has also forgiven you, why have you refused to forgive yourself? Why are you living with self guilt?
You keep pitying him, is he in a pityable state? Because I don't understand why you're pitying him. U keep blaming yourself for what you did, fine it's Ok to blame yourself, but That's in the past now, so you need to move on with Your life. As humans it's impossible and totally inevitable to make mistakes and do wrong, because That's How we are configured to be, because we were created imperfect, so the most important thing is not our mistakes, it's realizing we've made mistake, just like you've realised in Your case, asking for forgiveness from God, forgiving ourselves and whoever we need to ask forgiveness from like in your case, your boyfriend which you have done, and learning from that mistake, making sure it doesn't happen again. So the problem in Your case is that you've not forgiven yourself, That's the devil at work, don't give the devil room for that.
So stop blaming yourself and stop pitying Your boyfriend, He's not in a pityable state, be Happy and stop living in guilt.
If you continue the way you're going, you'll end someday becoming a burden and a liability to him, and you might lose him because this attitude of yours is attributed to babies, and no man wants to marry a baby. So grow up dear hun!
Your comment will be visible after approval
Easy on her biko...stella said it all. free urself from the bondage you in.
Delete@em Jay - it's Jesus not Jusus.pls write that name with some respect.
Delete@ poster - I don't see any problem in this case at all. U are just dealing with urself for nothing. Ur would be husband is still with u, he has forgiven u so why can't u forgive urself and move on. Am seeing ur over guilt crying wolf behavior as something that might cause breakup with ur man if it continues. Cos it's ur over guilty attitude that is making him jealous. He might be feeling there is more to it which u are not telling him. I repeat u did not have any problem at all except psychological issues u need to sort out. Pls find a specialist or be ur own psychologist and snap out of it already. Some marriages are breaking up, some losing their partners, children are dying of hunger somewhere and u want to commit suicide cos someone fingered u.lol that sounds crazy. Pls find help, even if it's ur pastor or someone who can help u sort out ur inner turmoil i.e if u can't help urself. Ur case is no case at all. pick ur calls, answer ur phone calls just get urself back, ur man will stop feeling jealous when he see u behaving normal again cos right now ur behavior is quite abnormal. Just live ur life like nothing happened cos nothing happened.
This poster no get problem...
ReplyDeleteYou have confessed and he has forgiven you..where is all this guilty talk coming from or is there somthing you are hiding from us?...
Hian...
Biko go and sleep...
Gbam! This is exactly what I said to myself at the end. You don't have any problm dear. Follow Stella's advice
DeleteBut this poster is very funny ooo. I was laughing out the entire time. Honestly, you deserve 'just negodu'.
Exactly my thought linda.ppster , except there is more to it, I dont see why you are giving yourself headache when there is none.
DeleteLet everything out to your man and maybe that will relieve you . You are probably thinking that he might not have forgiven you truly but dear, he is human o.dont make him doubt you more by behaving as if there is still something you are not telling him.
Did you just say you want to commit suicide?????for what na???
DeleteI was about saying same thing too. Unless like stella pointed out, the fingering reminded her of the abuse when she was younger.
DeleteI know the feeling.
DeleteI did my own confession too.
I told him i have been over-billing him.
You sound like a northerner headed into an arranged marriage.
DeleteIs the guy st. Paul or going to marry 3 more of you?
Hahahahahhah@ IreneB. No be only over billing.
DeleteI do not undetstand you o babes.
DeleteIs it not only finger?
So what is eating you up that you want to commit suicide untop?
I dont know why women keep looking for trouble with thier own hands.
Why is this your unbroken hymen causing you all these sleepless night?
Biko break it already!!!
Honey u want to kill yourself?
ReplyDeleteBy all means do because I see you like looking for problem where there is none. One person Dead means more food available for the surviving Nigerians
Shuo?!? Just negodu my friend. :p
He doesn't like his calls being kept waiting then immediately his call comes thru cut whatever call u are on unless it's your mother.
Someone bought properties in your name and u wan kill urself?!?
Pls do.
Smtchewwwwwww in *okija wife's voice
Chai u 'wickid', why evils? Harsh but u are on point!
DeleteThis poster chic has serious self esteem issues. She feels she doesn't deserve to have good things happen for her. That is why she first started giving excuses about her being stubborn and all that. She wants to make herself more undeserving of the guy's love. Girl, U need to know ur self worth and forgive urself. Why kill urself? Is it bcos the guy has not confessed the one he gas been doing? Abi U think he is not cheating on U wella?
DeleteJus negodu!
DeleteI just taya for the girl o
DeleteAnnon 16:23 nailed it. Poster its the accuser of the brethren troubling you. Same like how the devil tries to convince some they are not christian. Your problem is not strange. Take the advices fast and pray read testimonies. Your problem has helped not only you
DeleteFree your mind poster,
ReplyDeleteGood to know u av confessed to him...
U dnt av to be depressed, u just might awaken wat he has buried.
Pele o!
Not just negodu...just negodu biko
DeleteYou have to forgive yourself. We all make
Deletemistakes. I also feel that d trauma of ur childhood
experience is also adding to ur guilt. As for your fiance, trust is earned, not given. Just continue being true to him, with time he will see that u truly are a changed person. He's just being human. It may take him a little time to forget, and by God's grace he will. Shove the past where it belongs, and don't forget this: ask for God's help cos when our strength fails, that's where God begins. Be at peace and don't let ur guilt overshadow u. PLS CANCEL EVRY DEMONIC SUiCIDAL. We all make mistakes cos we r human and nobody's perfect. If u love this man, u have a second chance to make ur relationship work and show him how much u love him. God's grace dear. *Hugs and kisses*
Pls visit www.mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com for your relationship tips. U won't be disappointed.
http://www.mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com/2015/06/porn-is-nothing-more-than-fake-sex-and.html?m=1
be like e pain u that the guy no vex. My dear, forgive yourself and forgive the guys that did the thing and move on
ReplyDeleteOMG ur crazy this anon
DeletePoster call ur name out loud and firmly say for letting so and so touch me , I forgive myself. say it until u start to believe it.
Now having done this . Relax
Do not talk to ur bf about it ,talk to a friend instead ...if u must .
Are u sure u gave us the whole story ? Abi the guy disvirgined you?
Lastly Curb ur stubbornness ...be obedient to your man within reason ...choose ur battles really wisely and nuture ur relationship .
I used to party a lot ..until i met my fiancé who's just so gentle & reserved ...he wouldn't tolerate it ...and nne I had to cut all that nonsense down for peace to reign. It's not like partying would bring me money or love . So learn to be submissive within reason ..
Your man has forgiven you . Stop dragging it, allow him forget as you should too....good luck
Just negodu this babe o!
ReplyDeleteIbu nwatakiri?
Maka why u confess?
Ibu confessor?
Dear Poster, no need feelin guilty, he will definately cheat on u, if not now, later in ur marriage, so stop being depressed... Consider u both equal frm now, if eventually u happen to catch him cheatin as I rightly predicted, remember u owe him oh, and don't get mad... So for now, hv it in mind that u owe him 4gvness.... And trust me wen I saw HE WILL CHOP OUTSIDE.
DeleteNne jusikwa ya ike o..
DeleteMy dear this exactly what satan does to the children of God,we do something bad and ask God for forgiveness he forgives us wipe away our tears and put a smile on our face but no we still don't forgive ourselves thinking God is still angry with us and the devil use this as an advantage to make our life miserable. My dear this is exactly your situation you did wrong and pleaded he forgave you and even put a smile on your face by buying properties in your name common why do you want the devil to rub you of your joy now listen to me..stand in front of your mirror and tell yourself this oh you devil you can't keep reminding me of my mistakes cause you are the father's of all liers and evil,God has forgive me,my spouse has forgive me and I forgive my myself, I choose to be happy am not going to kill myself never devil listen to me GET LOST! Now smile to yourself and walk away like the QUEEN you are. Cheers
ReplyDeleteAbeg park well, all this holy holy commenters... When the poster de open leg she no think of God.
DeleteEarly 20s n he don dey buy land in ur name! Girl ur LUCKY.As far as m concerned,u did nothing wrong.the deed was done whn u weren't 2geda n u did d right thing by confessing to him whn he came back.So let it go dear n enjoy ur love life wt ur rich booboo.
DeleteEarly 20s and having this issue? My dear, you are too young for this palava. Stop pressuring yourself and focus on you. Enjoy life and move on. Love does not bring guilt, so I will say break up with the guy and wait for the right guy. Enjoy your youth. Even before the refingering the relationship already had problems. It is ok to move on.
ReplyDeleteHaba what kinda advise is this ?
DeleteMove on to what?
It's obvious her stubbornness is to blame here.
A better advise would be character reformation. She herself admits she's troublesome and believes in gender equality . That might be where the problem is Stemming from.
Even if she leaves and takes this attitude to another man ...problems would still crop up. Cos there can only be one head .
Shukura did you just say she should breakup with the man that forgave her, and went ahead to propose to her? Chai, is it that this simple English language is hard for you to comprehend or that you think with your anus? Just negodu advice! Babe forgive yourself and move on already abeg. E dey your body sef. Santa nwegbe....
DeleteAre you serious at all. Do you know what gender equality means? Sister Lola, let all your exposure not be a waste. Gender equality is why you can be a travel consultant. Gender equality is why you can vote, gender equality is why you are not relegated to the kitchen, please read up before you start talking. All these association of women wounding women members.
DeleteAunty stella has said it all..... Ur husband loves u bigggg time, I'll advice u discuss it wit him so u guys can handle it 2geda. One more tin, work on ur stubborness bcos men love a gurl dat listens, respectfull and submisive. God bless u and I wish u well.
ReplyDeleteSuicide???? On top? Poster, how precious is the gift of life God gave u? My dear, u r making a deal out of nun, and if u r not careful u will chase that man away. Let it go already plz, u will b fine hon.
DeleteI don't know what to say on dis eziokwu... em jay biko talk to Dede Jesus to fix it.... But confessing to him is what I don't understand.... Don't commit suicide please o! don't o! All I know is no matter what, ur man will use dis against u some day. Some things u don't tell a man no matter how much love u share.
ReplyDeleteOlori oya chop kiss... exactly! No matter the love I will never confess such to my man,NeVER!
DeleteSORRY POSTER: YOU ALLOWED A MISTAKE AT YOUR MOST VULNERABLE TIME AND IT IS IN THE PAST. TALK TO YOUR MAN LIKE STELLA SUGGESTED AND GET REASSURED; IT IS WELL.
ReplyDeleteBLOG VISITORS ABEGI MAKE UNA NO VESS O; I BE DEY WAN ASK THIS QUESTION TEY TEY; WEY LADY IGO? TRUE TRUE I DEY MISS THAT WOMAN. ABEGI LADY IGO IF YOU DEY READ THIS MAKE YOU COME BACK WITH YOUR TRUTH!AND BETTER STILL, GET BLOG ID FOR SDK.
THANKS.
Poster u need psychological and spiritual help biko..U have mental issue..dis is not just about u being molested when u were small..Its more than that..Get help fast...If u continue like dat u wont keep a home..It will be from one fight over useless thing to d other..I dont want to read ur chronicle here oh.
ReplyDeleteFrom today onwards,ladies if u had or have anything to do with another man,dnt tell ur spouse ,the man won't tell u of his sexcapades so y bin forward? U owe ur confession to God,Abeg I'dnt understand some people
DeleteSimple!
DeleteIt's called restitution.
Telling God isn't enough,cos God knew you did it and only needs you to confess it.
But there is someone who didn't know at all and wasn't there and won't know unless you tell him.
Are you saying the partner of a cheating. Person wasn't wronged?
If your husband God forbid has a second wife and family and didn't tell you because he has asked for forgiveness and God has forgiven him nko?
Or someone steals your money and repents but doesn't tell you?
How will that work?
The Holy spirit and any spirit filled pastor will still tell him to go confess to his wife.
The wronged one.
Too mch fingering in ur story jo, although u didn't specify the hole in particular, abeg lemme not advise rubbish, I'd read comments..... Meanwhile, I met ths babe frm SnM, we'v been goin on well with chats n calls, till I discovered she's bisexual, but she says its in ger past n she's done with gals, I jst don't knw hw I feel about that oh, cus aside that she's good.
ReplyDeleteAlmost every girl has played with a girl
DeleteMove on from it n give her a chance
My 2cents
Another miss Mae
DeleteLola, were you once bi?
Delete@lola - pls speak fr urself ok! Many girls haven't including me. Why d generalisation. Not acting a saint here but we should mind what we say for d benefit of young people reading this article............if u had even said "most girls I can relate but not all girls.......not nice my dear!
DeleteKatty
Lola its obvious u were/are a lesbian and in ur words"played with girls"
DeleteThe fact that your group of people do doesn't mean everyone does....ur statement can affect a whole lot of young ones tryn to chose what's right here..
Hope u v really stopped playing with girls
The thing is why did you even tell him someone else fingered you when your hymen is still intact!! Did you sleep with the other guy? ! You think if he cheats on you, he will come and confess to you? How old are you again? You are just immature! Virgin this Virgin that ! How many men do you you think are interested in marrying virgins in 2015? Stella this blog is for mature individuals with real problems not kids!!!
ReplyDeleteJust BLOODY NEGODU!!!
Mcheewww
I don't mean to sound crass but who told this poster than a finger cannot break her hymen? Lol ! Not all women bleed when they lose their virginity. There is a chance that your hymen may not be as intact as you think . If your man thinks you're still a Virgin he may be disappointed when you eventually have sex and he finds out otherwise .
DeleteMy advice to you is to let him know you were abused as a child . I don't know why you told him you made out with another guy. He may never forget it and use it against you . Does he tell you about all his sexcapades ? Didn't he hook up with someone when you were away ? Is he having sleepless nights ?
You're obviously naive . You better forgive yourself and forge ahead .
Senseless chronicle. Tell BVs what you are hiding because this story makes no sense. So you were fingered, you later confessed to your man and he not only forgave but bought properties in your name, what exactly are you feeling guilty of? Ok, i see, you are in love with another but can't bring yourself to tell him abi? Why won't you feel guilty when you know you are using the poor guy? Dude is busy buying you properties and you are loving another abi? Go kill yourself because you are a wicked girl. The guy is a foreigner i guess.. Mtcheew. No wonder Nigerian men treat y'all like dirt.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's buying d properties based on d 'virginity'. But now, poster no b virgin but still acting like she is?
DeleteJust negodu
ReplyDeleteNo comment.
DeleteYour mind is tricking you. If you give in, you will be rubbed of your sanity and peace. If your man has forgiven you, then it is no longer an issue. You Must guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life. Also, you must find out what your man TRULY thinks. Virginity is an issue some men find difficult to handle. Cheers always!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, just feel free in the relationship and move on. Since you said he got lands in your name. And stay away from whatever gets him angry so as not to remind him of your confession. Just try and earn his trust back.
ReplyDeleteU got some good advice already, I have identified the problem , forgive yourself, and go to God to help u accomplish the process. Trust me he will surely help. As for your fiance, yes he has forgiven u but as human it takes time for the trust to be rebuilt, it will surely come back, u need to help in the process as well. The most important aspect now is to rid yourself of the guilt. also seek counselling help as u were a victim of sexual abuse. Though u buried it in yoour subconscious being, but it has rather surfaced thru the act which u willingly gave in to. God heal u physically and spiritually. Have a wonderful day
ReplyDeleteHe has forgiven you just be calm....please I want to know, since your hymen is still intact what were the fingerers fingering then?
ReplyDeleteLmfao! Help me ask her o! She's no longer a Virgin but she doesn't know it yet. I just feel bad for her because she was molested and it may have affected her psychologically .
DeleteWe started dating = we started having sex period. That's all dating means these days, rubbish!
ReplyDeleteI dnt understand her problem. Verge of commiting suicide?? Over what?? Plz dnt throw that word around anyhow.....cos u dnt realize d weight that word carriers. Commit suicide bkos u feel u have failed ur boyfrnd ND d guilt of not being a virgin is making blah blah blah.....mumu talk. This post makes no sense, like I've gone bak to read it like 3times ND I still don't get d severity of d whole explanation. Attempt suicide over what?? Mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Wen person no get wetin dey disturb am, na nonsense e go begin think. Just follow stella's advice. That's ur main problem, d repressed memories is wats disturbing u nt any yeye 'i feel like I've failed my bf'......wetin make cheating married women come talk. If u had even said you're feeling guilty cos u feel like you've failed God, I go still hear that one. Boyfriend??!!!!! You're a joker!!!! So if u kill urself which is worse?? Hw will d mighty boyfriend feel?? I swear Ds post dey irritate me.....u nid to see d way I'm hissing. Go see a therapist and let Dem counsel u nd talk to u......i said therapist ooo not counsellors. Certified therapeutic sessions coupled with fervent prayers for God to forgive nd remove dat guiltiness frm ur spirit and you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteP.S you're really gonn be insulted today, so beta brace up and take it all in ur strides. If I mistakenly see any memo frm u tmrw to BVs calling out those who put u on blast, and claiming u alrdy knw wat to do Bt just wanted to free ur mind......im going to come for u guns blazing!
Before I forget.........if at 20something you're alrdy contemplating suicide untop say Dem finger u,(wen u were on a brk with ur bf nd d bf in question hz forgiven u) then hw are u going to go thru life??! Wat shld then happen to those who were raped....they shld set themselves on fire?? #shout out to d strong women out there...y'all are d real MVP. Plz u nid to enroll in d schl of hard knocks. And u obviously don't have Jesus in ur life....for we are mighty through Christ.....for He hz not given us a spirit of fear but of POWER, of LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND.
Lmao @carriers. #carry biko na Ds yeye poster make me vex.
DeleteI just love your comment... Just Negodu!!!
Delete1million likes, U said it all... Read thru d chronicle n I was trying 2figure out d problem bt I jux cudnt have any.
Delete1bilion Likes
DeleteThe poster is one kain pikin. You guys are missing the part where the second 'fingering' was willing. Stella, how can it be repressed thoughts when it was something she liked? She's not being totally honest. My dear poster, you enjoyed the fingering. The only solace I can give you is this; no need feeling guilty, why? You and your bf were not dating as at that time, and it was something you enjoyed and still enjoy. But if you want to kill yourself, by all means. Be my guest. Jus negodu.
DeleteOn a lighter note, so fingering doesn't break the hymen? Hian
Pls if you are having premarital sex, stop praying, you are wasting your time. Whatever satan gives you, take it and stop complaining, you have earned it!
ReplyDeleteStop killing urself inside you have confessed just move on already else you have skeletons in your cupboard. You could also let your man know your fears and take it to God. Most of all learn to forgive yourself
ReplyDeletePls if you are having premarital sex, stop praying, you are wasting your time. Whatever satan gives you, take it and stop complaining, you have earned it!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, u are hurt cuz u were molested wen u were yung, u need to talk to someone about it, dont feel bad cuz u were re-fingered, hell, who knows if yur bf slept wit someone wen u were apart. Yu need to talk to someone, a therapist perhaps, or an understanding family member. And hey, yur bf is too jealous! He shuld chill jurr!
ReplyDeleteShe let the 'regfringering' happen.. Please she's not hurt cos she was molested..
DeleteThis poster I dont understand you o.. the person you hurt has forgiven you and moved on and you want to kill yourself with guilt... Hiaaaan you had better not go and remind a man of your sins he has forgiven o. give yourself brain mbok. Mistakes happen. Ask God to forgive you, Forgive youself and move on.
ReplyDeleteJust negodu!is this an issue? Maybe there is something u are hiding. Just negodu this small girl
ReplyDeleteYou don't have any issues here if you ask me...
ReplyDeletePoster please stay positive and forgive you self. Then listen to Joyce Meyer- Defeating bad moods on youtube
ReplyDeleteMy dear dont allow dis wonderful opportunity to pass u by, devil has seen ur bright future and he is trying by all means to terminate dat by flaunting ur past to u.confess to God nd repent from ur sins u will have peace.God is there to help u cos He loves u and ur man loves u too.do not allow urself to be defeated fight for ur life, ur joy, ur peace and ur future. God's grace
ReplyDeleteHian Y u disturbn ursef baby geh.My dear,if he says he has forgiven u,then take it that he has,and u need to forgive ursef.Sit wif him and talk things,talk to him like u jex did to us tru SDK,clear things wit him and be careful next tym not to put ursef in a situation dat will make u vulnerable.And bout D call waiting and his gettn angry he is humane,he would wonder who ur talkn to das enof reasons to keep his calls waiting.Buh Nne serzly dere r some tins u sud jex forgive ursef and bury in ur stomach.Lil tins lyk dis start making d scale of trust imbalanced.
ReplyDeleteNa which kind small pikin narrative be dis, what is the problem now, if he loves u too let him marry u naw, don't believe the part where u said he bought properties in ur name, what if he finally dumps u, what will u do,u want commit suicide for man matter, u no get work.
ReplyDeleteJust negodu...
ReplyDeleteLook forgive yourself and dear, you need to also not make this man your everything. Your relationship has some issues. It is not true that all African men are uncomfortable about women's rights. Of you have a man who does not want equal women's rights, he is an insecure man. You must be careful because men like that will frustrate you in so many ways to exert what they think is their manliness. Get a back home dear, he says he has forgiven...and he stayed so it is up to him to move past the issue. Of he doesn't then that is his cup of tea. You don't forgive and stay in a relationship to make the other person's life hell. You either forgive and move on or forgive and forget. Stop saying you are suicidal. Why kill yourself because of a man, he will just move on to the next girl and those who truly love you will be left with the pain. As for your prayer group, they will confirm him because you probably told them his good side. What is God telling you, remove your eyes from landed properties. Do you have peace about this guy? Is your spirit truly at peace? Good relationships do not have quarrels every 2 seconds. As people grow in relationships, the arguments become less about both of them and more about the issue. So that is a tell tale sign that you and this guy have compatibility issues. Forget these love songs that day we fight and make up all the time, real life...no dey like that. If you guys keep fighting and clashing about everything you have a square peg round hole situation. Be smart please
ReplyDeleteLook forgive yourself and dear, you need to also not make this man your everything. Your relationship has some issues. It is not true that all African men are uncomfortable about women's rights. If you have a man who does not want equal women's rights, he is an insecure man. You must be careful because men like that will frustrate you in so many ways to show what they think is their manliness. Get a back bone dear, he says he has forgiven...and he stayed so it is up to him to move past the issue. If he doesn't then that is his cup of tea. You don't forgive and stay in a relationship to make the other person's life hell. You either forgive and move on or forgive and forget. Stop saying you are suicidal. Why kill yourself because of a man, he will just move on to the next girl and those who truly love you will be left with the pain. As for your prayer group, they will confirm him because you probably told them his good side. What is God telling you, remove your eyes from landed properties. Do you have peace about this guy? Is your spirit truly at peace? Good relationships do not have quarrels every 2 seconds. As people grow in relationships, the arguments become less about both of them and more about the issue and once an issue is trashed it is bye bye. So that is a tell tale sign that you and this guy have compatibility issues. Forget these love songs that say we fight and make up all the time, real life...no dey like that. If you guys keep fighting and clashing about everything you have a square peg round hole situation. Be smart please.
ReplyDeletePoster, please forgive yourself and move on. Your man has forgiven you, God has even forgotten, so why are you doing this yourself? Kill yourself over what? The devil is playing tricks on you. Resist him please.
ReplyDeleteAgain I say, Just Negodu!!! You are looking for problem ba? So if they say, "all those with problems, Hands up!!!" You will raise hand??? Oh geh, park well o! U want to kii yasef on top wetin??? Don't let me e- slap some sense into u o! Better forgive yasef and move on!!! You want to throw yasef a pity party and you are inviting us as guests? Just Negodu!!! Mmmmssstttcchhheeewww!!!
ReplyDeleteU,an Unmarried lady was fingered by à Man Buh hé didnt do any damage and ur hymen is stil intact....Check!
ReplyDeleteBuh u felt Very bad and regretted ur actions...Check
Infcact so bad that u confessed to Le Boo Buh who in God's image and Compassion,forgave u...Check
Infact le Boo totally forgave u and not just that,Went and ahead and proposéd to u...Check
Infact,hé not only proposed Buh Went ahead and bought landed Properties in ur name(by d way,i am liking dis ur le Boo right now) just to show u how much he stil loves u...Check...
Bu hyet,u are Still feeling Veryyyy bad.
Infact so bad to d point of u bn Suicidal....
Upe!
Bia nne,U never talk Wetin dey do u.and till den,we are here.....waiting.....waiting for d Truth...
I tire o. Babe abeg get yourself together. Stop pushing it because you will spoil what has already been repaired. Don't even remind your man about it. God bless him for forgiving you because its only very few African men that can forgive this.........#mummylovesme
ReplyDeleteTo me sha u no get problem lol
ReplyDeleteJust Negodu dis girl. Atimes some gals amuse me, a man forgave u and u are still depressed? U are not telling d truth. Maybe u av gotten urself disvirgin by fucking and u are scared dt he will leave u once he noticed. Be sincere to urself biko. Which kind of depression is dt one?
ReplyDeletePoster plsssss move on u dont have a problem,pls stop giving urself a headache..Try to give urself & forget abt d incidence..
ReplyDeleteWhat's making you suicidal now?? Forgive ursef and pray to God to forgive you! Stay happy ! No sin is greater than the other, so relax
ReplyDeletePls wats Negodu kinda missed out d last time Stella asked
ReplyDeleteThen go back and find it. Kmt!
DeleteThere are more people who live through life sad, depressed and angry because they expect too much of themselves than there are who live sad, angry and depressed because of arrangement of circumstances in life that goes in conflict with their hopes.
ReplyDeleteYou need to come to perfect understanding with the fact that you are human. Yes, that's all you are and all you can be so long as you are here. And major characteristics of humans is that you can't be perfect, not to yourself nor to people because depth of judgment widely differs.
Everyone make mistakes in life and the collection of our mistakes and successes combine to make us experienced individuals. You know why they say the wisdom of a child cannot match that of an adult? Because a child has only gone through a limited number of experiences while an adult has gone through a wide array of experiences comprising majorly of mistakes and that has made them the seasoned database of wisdom that they are.
You have done the deed already and it cannot be undone by any amount of time devoted to brooding over it. It cannot be undone by suicide. And yes I understand that you contemplate suicide not because you want to die but because you want to stop hurting but sweetheart that's not an option strong people go for. Strong people love challenges, they love it the hard way. They don't run away from troubles and challenges because they know they'd face that same trouble or a higher magnitude of trouble by choosing to shy away or choosing the easier way out.
There are some people who get raped. What do you say to them? Joyce Meyer was raped over 200 times by her own father! That's an emotional pain and torture. She lived through the beginning of her life sad, angry and feeling like the world owe her some level of sympathy. You know when she pulled through? When she decided to forgive her dad, revert the mentality that the whole world owe her sympathy and adopted a positive attitude to life.
From my point of view, your partner has forgiven. It's true he won't forget. Let me prepare your mind, he might even make reference to it when you guys have a quarrel in the future! But then, I'm gonna tell you that you'll not be haunted by your emotions now or later in the future the moment you accept your human imperfections and come to terms that you will always make mistakes and wrong choices in life, even ones more grievous than this.
You'll be strong the moment you step outside and let the gentle breeze sip in through your soul. Wash your pillows of past tears shed and refuse to give the thought of the past a room.
Tip: Get a calendar, each day that pass without you crying or giving an emotion-wrecking thought to the incident, you tick a good for yourself on that day and after each three days of goods, buy yourself a beautiful gift as a trophy. By the time you go this way three months, you'd only be left with just a mere scar and not an injury.
Good luck, we your family here awaits your testimony of strength in the Read and Be Encouraged Section
Honey please don't kill yourself oh
ReplyDeleteYou don't have any problems at all. You do need to move past your child hood experience of being fingered. You should talk about it to somebody you trust and respect, that is the best way to heal and put it behind you.
From what you have written, it appears your hubby to be really loves you. Your still a virgin and do you know that using tampons can also break your hymen!
It really does not matter whether or not your hymen is still in place as there are several factors that can contribute to it been broken which is not restricted to having intercourse alone. I think what you need more is education around this topic.
You don't have any problems abeg so stop crying. I was waiting to read about how your DH fucks all your friends and your looking for advice, however am pleasantly surprised.
Keep being the good girl you are, as its working for you.
obi ur hymen is still intact and you are worried maka why nah abegy kack one side sis
ReplyDelete#GODWIN™
I think you are suffering from clinical depression ... get help ASAP
ReplyDeleteif u are sure you said everything as it is and u are sure he forgave u then you should have no reason feeling guilty. sometimes you could have memories in form of flashes of the event and when that happens just sing a song or dance so u can distract ur brain from such. unless there is something u havent forgiven urself for doing but if there is not then i think you should enjoy being alive. unless again there is absolutely something pushing u to commit suicide of which id suggest you see a seasoned man of God.
ReplyDeleteCheers
#F!Zz
Just Negodu this poster. U think u are smart abi? My dear send us the true story as to why you feel the way u feel. Cos this yitty yatty about some fingering while your relationship was on a break cant break you like this. Dyu knw what ur bf did during the same break? Inukwa being suicidal over fingering? Mscheeeww. Stella contact her bf,let him tell us the true story.
ReplyDeleteMadam, please forgive yourself and move on, life is too short to be living in depression and regrets. Speak with your bf, tell him about your fears and how you feel.
ReplyDeletein all, don't ever talk of suicide, that should NEVER come to your mind. . . .Love yourself and be happy.
God bless you
Sweet heart why do u condemn urself when no one has condemned u, evn if anyone has dey av no right over u, God does nd he calls u special nd outstanding. Virgin or not is not a criteria for measurement. I once had ur exact same experience nd I mean same but today am doin great wit DH nd a child. U hubby has accepted u but u jst av to stop feeling less than who you ar, see urself d way Godd sees u. Nd u re too special
ReplyDeleteJust Negodu
ReplyDeleteI like this word
Hmmmmmmmm
umm, poster let me be straight with you. the problem you have might have started from thought processing, where u allowed ur thoughts to spiral out of control. what u need to do first is to forget whatever the 'fingering' incident brought. then secondly confess positive thoughts into urslf and ur relationship and thidly believe u hv conquered this trial that the devil is trying to bring you down with. babe it is well wit u
ReplyDeleteU guys broke up for a while abi? Have u managed to think about how he held body that period? Naija guy for that matter, n u want to kill urself bcoz of fingering?
ReplyDeleteseriously, I cannot make sense out of this narrative. Child, you both broke up initially, so you were not unfaithful to him in anyway! what is the problem again? Is it everything you tell a man? Bought land properties in your name when both of you are yet to be married? Be very careful! What type of business is he in?
ReplyDeleteTGW that is my point. She never talk true. Mtcheeeew…They take BVs for fools.
ReplyDeleteThis is by far the most irritating and childish COBV ever. Are u kidding me right now??? What is all this incessant mentioning of hymen and virginity up and down?? Pretentiousness will kill nigerian girls. Dem go suck dick, do anal, even do lesbo stuff....every other thing except vaginal penetrative sex just to avoid breaking their hymen, yet dem go dey claim virgin! who da fck are u fooling?! This one is over here crying and threatening to commit suicide because she was fingered and the supposed pure image her BF has of her has been tarnished. Nigga GTFOH! Very annoying thing! U better get real and understand that marriage isnt a child's play. You have bigger issues on ur hands which is finding effective conflict resolution strategies...if u had sense,thats what should be bothering u, not ur stupid pseudo-virginity! Those many fights u keep having with ur BF is what can potentially break ur marriage up if u dont fix it! gosh...how old are u? seriously, i doubt ure ready for marriage at all. You fight incessantly with ur bf and can go MONTHS without talking yet ure worried about hymen! Better sit ur ass down with him and both of u learn how to resolve future issues effectively so they dont end up destroying ur relationship. Your priorities are highly misplaced. And while ure at it (ask any married woman) u better not be one of those prude, holy-nweje wives that think that because they have an intact hymen, their man will be happy with mediocore sex...u will be in for a rude ass awakening cos men are very sexual creatures, which is why most men will prefer not to even be with a virgin because of the pretentiousness and lack of experience. So snap out of ur illusion of grandiousity and get real! Mchewwwww!
ReplyDeletefyi: How are u so sure ur hymen is still intact? Did a doctor confirm this? There are many women who end up with broken hymens even before they have sexual intercourse due to sports activities or other rigorous nonsexual activities. Also not everyone bleed when their hymen breaks....so i hope u wont jump into the lagoon after all of this ur unnecessary drama queen antics, and when y'all finally have sex, u still wont bleed. Make e no shock u...u seem very naive and ignorant so im just prepping u.
Ada
Boy!!! Don't I just love u! Kisses to u wherever u are bae...#NoHomo
DeleteThis story is so ridiculous. Poster technicallt you are no longer a virgin and how are you sure your hymen is still intact?I never even kissed a man till my wedding night and when my hubby and i had sex i did not bleed. Thnak God he is a medical doctor and he assured me that not every one bleed during their first time. You are so worried over nothing or is there more you're not saying?
ReplyDeleteYou failed your boyfriend but didnt fail God,bah??who am i to judge..
ReplyDeleteAll i sense in this post is that you really want your boyfriend to know or feel that you are truly sorry,cos you are definitely gonna send or show him this link somehow,am i right??
stop punishing yourself cos you wanna prove to your boyfy that he's your god..whats the suicide thought about,you had to go to that extent??the first few paragraphs,you were trying to tell us how commited you were to God before you started seeing your boyfy but what later happened to that relationship with God as its your boyfy your feeling you have disappointed...i feel so angered by your post.ask God for forgiveness and everyother thing is meagre...stop trying to prove how sincere you are to your boyfy but to your GOD..and for now you cant be so sure if your hymen is still intact or broken,(50:50).
Let God forgive you and you'll see how peaceful your mind will be..Peace
Guilt and shame hindrance. Guilt is the result of self condemnation caused by focusing on our failures and shame is the end result of seeing ourselves through those failures . Causes of guilt and shame; past sin confess it and forget it. Current sin confess it and stop it. Unmerited blame refuse to accept it. Overcoming the hindrance of guilt and shame remember this truth; satan and his disciples condemn us producing guilt and shame. While God convicts our hearts yielding repentance and forgiveness. All you have to say is forgive me Father and its done its over and a new life begins. When you feeling guilt and shame consider the source stop swelling on past failures. Philp 3:14. Micah 7:19.Heb 8, 1John1:9,Eph1:7-8 free people because of the cross. Leave the past in the past. Free of penalties free of punishment we are absolutely free. 2Cor5:17 a new person,Heb 8:12 - don't listen to the voice of the evil on. If it doesn't give you joy hope and peace its not from God. Once we discover our self worth we not be able to withhold His love for us,truth in us,and His goodness towards us.....
ReplyDeleteSnippet from - From a Whisper to a Roar
LMAO @ THESE COMMENTS....I CAN'T WITH SDK BLOG VISITORS! SOMEONE SAID THERE'S TOO MUCH "FINGERING" IN THE CHRONICLE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
ReplyDeleteJUST NEGODU is all i have to say! because you love that word!JUST NEGODU!
ReplyDeleteJUST NEGODU is all i have to say! because you love that word!JUST NEGODU!
ReplyDelete