WHEN RELIGION INTERFERES WITH LOVE
Good day Stella, So straight to the point.
I met this guy about a year ago and although it wasn't love at 1st sight, he asked me out and i accepted however i had to develop feelings for him along the line, he is very nice and treats me well, initially when we just started talking, i told him about how my parents are very tribalistic and also how they are against us marrying catholics because my bf is a catholic and from delta state while am a pentecostal and yoruba but we still decided to forge ahead and hoping we would pull through when the time comes..
I met this guy about a year ago and although it wasn't love at 1st sight, he asked me out and i accepted however i had to develop feelings for him along the line, he is very nice and treats me well, initially when we just started talking, i told him about how my parents are very tribalistic and also how they are against us marrying catholics because my bf is a catholic and from delta state while am a pentecostal and yoruba but we still decided to forge ahead and hoping we would pull through when the time comes..
fast forward to 6 months later, he introduced me to his folks and omg they are d sweetest people have ever met and since then he has been asking to meet with my own parents and i have been skeptical because i told my dad about him and of course about the fact dat he is catholic and from delta state and my dad is very much against it, infact he has asked me to cut off every ties i have with him..
I am 26 and he is 30 and we are both doing ok financially. Now the problem is how do we go about this tribalism and catholic issue? Should i just break off and save myself future wahala or i keep hoping my parents would agree because its really pulling a strain on our relationship. He is always asking to meet my folks and i keep giving excuses and to be sincere my feelings beginning to die because i am frustrated or maybe because i give up easily.
Il appreciate sensible comments from SDK BVs
I am on leave from commenting today.Let me sit back and read.
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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
A MOTHER THAT TALKS TOO MUCH...
Hallo Stella sugar. Please I need honest advice from BV's who have this type of mother. She talks a lot, if she visits me or my siblings, anything she sees we do, she would pick up her phone and gist her sisters and friends about anything ongoing in our households, anything my father does, good or bad she would broadcast.
I respect her a lot, I don't know how to caution her without sounding rude. If I carry belly, she will turn Radio Rivers,if we buy properties and she gets to know, she will turn Radio Nigeria..how do we manage her?
#Shuo!...which kind of Mama be this?Is it possible that she is possessed with the spirit of posing?wants everyone to know things are happening with her?This isnt normal at all.
................................................................................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
RELATIONSHIP STATUS
Hi Stella, and everyone in the house I just want you guys to help me determine the status of my relationship.
I Have been dating my BF for about 8 months now He is kind and I get along with him but my problem is that he treats any question I ask him like an interrogation even when he travels he finds it difficult to tell me the purpose of his travel or when he will come back.
Earlier on I thought maybe it's cos our relationship was young but I think it's about time he loosens up, I even find it difficult to discuss things with him this days, trust me I have snooped around to know if maybe i am a side chick buh he is clean... I have tried talking to him about it but he writes it off as women and their drama, please what should I do?
#JUST NEGODU!....A boyfriend you cannot talk to?
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship,yours seems to lack it so i am afraid to tell you that you are dating yourself.you are in a ship alright but its not a relationship,its a situationship.
*looks away quickly*
**********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS***********
ReplyDeletePoster
DeleteDey there make pant dey wear you , wetin catholics and delta ppl do your papa? At 26 you are old enough to know what you want and stand by it biko.
Emjay or wateva you are the dumbest girl I have ever known. You are a disgrace to women as a whole,i spit on u #tueh#. Your daft self only wants stella's frebies. Idiota!
DeleteP 1 : You are very rude and disrespectful to your parents.
DeleteHow dare you?
After all the warnings
Open up to your parents immediately
It is uncertain women like you that changes a good man. What of the emotional trauma of the man?
Fight (you already decided to when you said yes) or leave.
Any marriage without your parents blessing is unacceptable.
I hope you have decided to be a catholic when you marry him. Please don't divide the family.
Poster 1 if u r a firm believer in d pentecostal faith i see no reason y ur parents wanting u not to marry a catholic n issue. Excrpt if u r just floating, likewise ur boyfriend if he is a strong catholic he wonrt even be with u in d 1st place. The bible says honor ur parents so ur days would be long. U want to live long u know what to do
DeleteI agree with u @Mrs fine face.....
Delete#abbytohxoft
@ poster 2, that your mama is something else; sorry to say.
DeleteI don't think she'll ever change now cos most adults are usually set in their ways.
The best you can do with her is to keep her out of your business. If she asks why you didn't tell about about 'so and so', just apologise and pass it off as an oversight. EOD
Click my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
Em jay u are a dummy,act like an intelligent lady,after u would say a guy dumped you, I have never read any intelligent thing from u, always long live sdk and first to comment,even davido get brain pass u
DeletePoster 3,
DeleteYou belle full finish, dey find bekunbekun. Na that talk go make u complete Abi? Don't that you stars and take what you're given.
Kinda sounds like my girlfriend.
1. If I (the boo never asked you out)
2. Proposed shabily to you (and u accepted)
Then imma break up with you when I get back. Your own is too much for me. Cos you live a fantasy in your head that is never gonna come to reality. The earlier you accept that the better...cos right now you're seeming insane. The snooping, and attention seeking, etc.
@OP No 1,
DeleteI have a friend we served together in Rivers way back 2010 and he was and still is a lover of photography. He met an Igbo lady named Chidinma, fell in love with her but her parent rejected him bcos he was a corper, not upto their level (rich people palava), and a Yoruba guy for that matter.
He tried all he could to win her parents heart but they refused. We finished NYSC and the dude left for lagos to continue with his passion Photography.
His name is Bayo. Has I am talking to you now, he's the official photographer to the Nigeria president Buhari.
Few weeks back, while driving along Aba road, I sited Chidinma strolling or treking but still hunting for Mr right. Her parent succeeded in altering her destiny.
@OP, you are to blame if your parent alter ur destiny to d right or left. You don't need any advice, you need to put your number 6 together and do what u think its right.
Signed out
Yomi!
Stella Official anonymous assistant!
Poster 1, You should PRAY that if it is God's will for you to marry your man he should touch your father's heart. Don't get married without your parents approval.
DeleteI'm not a fan of mum and dad said especially when they have no tangible reason but Anonymous 17:40, noted the guy has made it. That doesn't mean he would have made a good husband. Abi no be here we dey read all the rich madam chronicles? Yes money is VERY important but let's talk about his values as a man.
DeleteIt's well
ReplyDelete**********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS***********
Poster 1: at 26 you should be able to know what you really want in a man,you re the one dating this guy and not you parents,if they have their issues with tribalism and catholic then it's your duty to find out d level of disdain and if it's worth your happiness. Our parents can be selfish at times,and they might just be using you to pay for the sin someone committed against them. So make you findings.
Delete@poster 2:your solution is to seal your lips before your mum and in the most polite way try to pass it across to her the risk she expose you to by her wide mouth.
@poster 3: you need serious research because it seems to me that your man has a lot he's hiding from you. I may b wrong tho but put you eyes down well be vigilant.
Lmaooo narative number3 are you sure we are not dating the same person? Lmaooo! Is he yoruba? Dark? And name starts from L? Pls I need you to reply loool I am laughing but this is quite serious
DeleteAbeg lemme sit and read comments........eating my ekuru ati eko!
ReplyDeleteBiko what's ekuru ati eko?
DeleteLwkmd! @ possessed wit spirit of posing.
DeletePoster3 Errm are u from edo state?
Maybe he's scared u are a witch and against his progress.
@zzizy ekuru ati Eko means sacrifice, it's the type of food yoruba prepare as sacrifice to appease their gods
DeleteEko is agidi.....I don't know that English name for ekuru.....but Na beans Dem take dey do am and e can sweet diee!
Delete@drealbarbz you are very mad and you have no one to tell you. What kind of dirty ignorant comment is that about edo people. Oloshi
DeleteDrealbarb is a twat. Those are the people that will raise mouth like funnel about zenophobia in S.A but are the devil's house agents in this country. Anumpama
Delete@treasures, seems you are high on cheap dick abi???
DeleteI love ekuru and eko dieeeee!!!
If he's not communicating with you then wake up and smell the coffee because if you're not talking then what are you doing?
ReplyDeleteH
DeleteThey are just gbenshing den
DeletePoster 3,pls pack ur dancing shoes n fuckn run.i once dated a guy too who found it very hard to say wat he goes abroad to do.he wAs kind to me for a while but i knew his trips werent clean.i just hope it not N? From edo...go through hs lappy,theres nuffn on hs fone.when u find it,pls disappearrrrrrrr!
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteYou better tell this guy that your parents does not agree with relationship with him so that he will know his stand....
Biko face your Catholic Yoruba people and leave the poor man alone...
Poster 2,
Most mothers are like this...
You people should stop telling her things nau...
Poster 3,
I fear for this kind of men ohh...
Don't keep your self in the dark...continue snooping...
D girl is not Catholic. Had to go n read again.
DeleteSpace booked.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Tell your boyfriend your father's position concerning the relationship rather than keeping him aloof. You guys can decide on what to do from there whether to ignore your parents (I wouldn't advice that) or call it quit
DeletePoster 2: talk to your mum respectfully about your concerns as regards are attitude.
Poster 3- having a boyfriend you can't communicate with could be so frustrating. Try your best to talk to him and make him do likewise. Target his good mood to communicate, make the best effort you can. After all, if he doesn't bulge then take a walk. Relationship is a 2 way thing and not a do or die affair either.
Looool. Stella the leave on commenting come short ohh. @SHB
ReplyDeleteAbi , too short lol
DeleteJust negodu
@poster1 : get pregnant n your father will be left with no choice than to accept you too#justasuggestionoooh
ReplyDelete@poster2 : talk to her about it even if it means being rude, providing dat she gets the message.
@3: break up already.
Relationship is between 2 people n is also not by force.
Poster one ignore this advice!
DeleteThis will be the worse decision you might ever make..
Once you get pregnant,you will realise the dude is the bigger enemy not even your daddy..
Keep it clean,walk away or have a mature talk with your folks.
Let them welcome him first for a visit .He is not coming to kidnap you,is he?
Some of my suitors found their way to my dad's house and I don't remember him chasing them with a cutlass
Remember this though:
For inter tribal marriages,it takes a special kind of man to withstand the storm with you....it takes an extra ordinary man to shield you from nastiness and snide comments(lets forget that his people are sweet for now)
Does this dude have such qualities? Is he a MAN or a weasel? Solve that puzzle before you think your parents are the problem.
Poster two
My folks raised us to be highly conservative and secretive...
I can't even imagine how you all feel when your every move is known by outsiders!
The only time my momma tried something funny was when she told her friends how many universities offered me admission(Uyo kporo ya, Ibadan kporo ya,NAU Nnamdi Azikiwe kporo ya)..lmao!!....we solved that by teasing the hell out of her and calling her "onu nko"(sharp mouth). Will teasing work in this your case?
Poster three
I hate men like your boyfriend!
Wow... you are a wise woman. Obe of the most sensible comments I've read here in a while.
DeleteIf I start talking against how religion removes our small sense that we have and put block inside, una go call me anti-christ. So no need going into that.
ReplyDeleteLet me read comments today and see what these folks have to say about religion and tribalism. Although, these hypocrites come here to preach objectivity, they are actually biased and their socialization is to blame.
Waiting and learning sha.
At least, nothing about pussy, cheating, creaming, sliding or fucking today. So today's chronicles are clean.
Hehehe
Poster2. Me thinks ur mum is just a talker and means no harm.
DeleteLast poster. That guy may just be buying time with you until his main unknown gf shows face. I am in a long distance relationship, if a guy asks me out and he is really a nice stunning caring person, I don't turn him off immediately. I spend time with him but try to meander away from any serious talks! No Sex ofcos, when the guy can't deal without Sex, he'll leave by himself. I recognize myself in your le boo. He is avoiding the deeper responsibility love brings. Well, maybe it's just his kinda person sha.
DeletePoster 2 my mom is like that. Simple. Dont tell her anything. I dont tell mine any more no matter how she harasses me
DeleteWhere can I do correct crochet braids in PH sef?
ReplyDeleteLol @spirit of posing! P2 atleast yours is not radio without battery.
Jesus fix the rest.
How do I get ur contact. I know someone who makes really nice crochet braids in Ph.
DeleteGo to perfect braids at abatcha road close 2 kilimanjaro at the same building with dynamic
DeleteOver sabi abi na illiteracy dey worry you. It's called hair do not perfect braids!!! Ewu!
DeleteUnique braid @ DLine
Deletehian Stella nwunye Kork wich one b stand alone narrative wen u posted abt 3 narratives. I thot "stand alone" usually serves as heading wen u hv just one lengthy narrative f d day. Abi u don high.. #justanobservation. Lemme go bak t read.
ReplyDeleteNarrative one plz don't let anyone stand in ur way if what u feel for each other is real... I don't understand dis kinda parents wahala sef... U can hire a father and mother on that day@bride.... what's that sef?
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I understand ur plight... some mum do it outa joy to show others that her children is doing better... I use to tell my mum "if u reach where pple de and they raise ur children matter just press ur mute button and turn to o yes member" ur mum might mean no harm... But some talkative mum, their own na inborn...
P1, Keep an open mind about the outcome, it may or maynot work. Parents are hell bent on tribe n religious thingy in marriage especially that of the female.
ReplyDeleteDon't lose sleep over it! Lololol, easier said than done, if ur parents no gree, accept it in good faith.
P3 hmmm, jus like someone I know, ...hardly gives out n4 about ...dealings.
But if a man is in love, he talks without bein questioned. MAYBE he's not in love. I said MAYBE!
Are U sure he's in a relshp with U???
Poster3 pls sum guys ain't just talker!! You have snooped and found nufink so wats the problem? You too stop asking him and see wat happens.
DeletePoster 1 why dnt you just allow the poor guy meet your parents 1st !! Let him see dere reaction and you guys work on it from dere.
Stella you wrote stand alone narrative on the 1st narrative. But we have three narratives.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1
Why not let him meet Your parents first and see How things work, then you can take it from there. They might just like him.
Narrative 3
Communication is key in every relationship, any relationship That's lacks healthy communication is an unhealthy relationship.
Your comment will be visible after approval
You are a bat
Delete@26 be waiting for your parents or better still marry your father
ReplyDeleteI swear marry your father. Babe grow up your not a child, you've past your mid 20's ma
DeleteI'm sure when she's 36. The story will change to "anyhow"
DeleteFirst, make sure you love this guy and what his real intents are. So you don't go through battle for the wrong man cos if this man ends up being the wrong guy. Your parents will gloat and say they warned you.
Step 2: tell the man the situation. Some men can't bear to think that their future inlaws hate them and it can make him run. If he accepts this still and loves you enough to stick through. Good.
Step 3: Make a stand with your parents. From coaxing to emotional blackmail to outright standing firm. This will take time. Your mum might be less biased. Play on your parent that is less biased. It's never easy.i know how adamant some people can be about tribe and religion plus your parents still see you as a kid and you may come 'to your senses'
If they suggest any other match for you to 'try' just decline, make them know it's this guy you're serious about. They will lecture you, get angry, report you to family, threaten, do everything. In the end, they might give in because your father can't marry you. If they don't give in, move on.
Poster 2: limit what you tell mum. She doesn't have to know you bought a land and all that. Some mothers have brought enemies to their kids necks with their own mouth. This is her nature, Shez either braggadocious by nature or just very lonely/bored and needs something to look forward to. Bear with her as much as you can. She's your mum, you can't throw her away
Poster 3: your man is still a bachelor at heart. A bachelor at heart
-Loves to make decisions on his own
-Wont control you but won't be controlled
-Loves his freedom
-Freaks out when asked about his movement
-Organised and neat
-Hates to discuss his personal projects with you. He's literarily afraid of very serious commitment that will erode his freedom. So when he shouts it's his insecurity shouting. Not that he hates you or might not want to commit in the long run.
Try to show him that you are not going to monitor and control his life,
Have your own thing going,
Be less intrusive
Make yourself scarce
Then make a stand in the end.
Show him you're a strong woman and relationship with you is a choice with consequence, good or bad. He'll soon have to grow up.
@poster number 1.. Gbo oro si awon obi e lenu ki ojo alee ee le da ra...
ReplyDeleteAm sure u are a yoruba girl.. U understand what i mean...
@aunty stella.. Please gv me popcorn 50naira epaa 20naira make i sitdown dy read comment..
Said: Abu Alimran aka paddy stella
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of making decisions based on what my parents have said.. Parents are there to guide you and you pick the best advice from what they've said ,not order you on what to do when you're an adult, especially for flimsy excuses like this..its really annoying..
so bcos u'r catholic and hes pentecostal..abi which one sef..soon they will say u have to marry from the same branch of church ...mscheeeeww. Please ur father is not coming to stay in ur marital home to see how happy u r so please follow ur mind.. If the guy is good in other respects,,pls go ahead,, they will calm down..ALl these parents sef and their gragra...mschheww
Poster 2..please as an adult as well..tell ur mother how you feel..the world is not smiling..envious people are out there.she should know better..sit her down and talk to her..and if she doesn't hear, u too pls do not tell her any info..no need to tell her u ought house..my mother did not know i was preg till 4 months because she will go and be telling so called people to pray for safe delivery. My father didn't know till i was 7 months..hes very secretive but because hes now married to another woman whose daughter too was married and had not gotten preg,i decided to shut it..
Poster 3..
Something is def wrong with that dude you're dating hun..maybe u should confront him gently and ask him what's going on..if he doesn't bulge, please it's not too late..dont go and get belle and then u come and dost another chronicle of how u r stuck please.
Poster i. Since you love him, find a way to convince your parents to allow you marry him.
ReplyDeleteLook for someone your father respects, maybe a relative or his pastor to talk to him.
Poster 2. Your mother likes showing off. You and your siblings should sit her down and talk to her.
Poster 3 Communication is very important in a relationship and is lacking here.
Dont put your eggs in one basket because in this kind of relationship, anything is possible.
Poster 3: Stella brought d word outa my mouth.... someone u can't talk with? That means if una two de inside house u go de play candy crush for ur fone, him go de play temple run for his own fone.... Abeg free d bobo...
ReplyDeleteHmmm! Was about sending in my first rant on dz blog(typed n about to send) then God said to me"Thank me instead" so Lord am grateful 4 ur grace. I am alive today bcos u kept me.....2morrow is my birthday n my mum's too, we owe it to u Lord.
DeleteHappy birthday in advance anonymous....
DeleteStand alone and two odas escort am?
ReplyDeleteNarrative1: what is making u so certain ur maan will b rejected by ur parents? Them don do am b4 2 any of ur siblings or u just concluding cosof who u know them 2 b? If so pls giveit try unless he's not exactly what u want. U kukku dey sound like who dem dey force.
Poster2: if not that my aunt got just one daughter who's still a bby I would've tot urerefering to her. U must call her to order even if it means lieing to her that it was a prophecy that heraction will soon cost one of her kids his/her life. Mothers dey fear prophecy die.
P3: Ignore him. Give him d "ok" treatment he will adjust. I was like that n still is partially. Too many questions dey tire me answer especially these where re u? Wat re u doing? Wen re u leaving? Wen re u coming etc. Na ok dem tk cure me.
Lol @situationship. Omo poster 3 dust ya slippers n run away.
ReplyDeleteNarrative one, have a sincere one to one talk with your parents. It might be difficult being Nigerian parents, but speak to your mum first. Let your mum know how u r feeling and then take it to ur father.
ReplyDeleteNarrative two, communication is important , probably the way u ask makes it look like u r interrogating him. In your relax mood explain to him that u r not interrogating him but rather would know what ur fiance is doing.
Narrative three pls talk to your mum and let her know u r not comfortable with her ways. Otherwise u keep your mouth schtum.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteits about both of you. What if he was a muslim? You are both christians and i feel if ur parents see you arnt budgin, they wont have a choice after a while.
Poster 3
See, i know sm1 thats like that ooo, he claims his family doesnt tell any1 wen they travel, go 4 visa interviews, etc. Maybe hes in that category. He relocated to america and even his mum didnt know about it until he landed in the u.s after a couple of days.
Na wa o. Where do I start from
ReplyDeletePoster one
All this parent that have live their live and will not allow children to live. All in the name of church or no church. If Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ love your man and he loves Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ also, go for court wedding.
Poster two
Your mom is loud. You and your siblings should seat her down.
Poster three
It is well
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
ReplyDelete.
One:Ur parent wan destroy ur marriage i swear....
.
.
Two:sit her down and talk to her nothing else.....
.
.
Three: write a full note on hw yu feel and send it to his email
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Why do pentecostal always sees we Catholics as unbelievers?
ReplyDeleteCommunication is not easy. But it is very important in any relationship
ReplyDeletePoster3: i had one bf den anytime i ask a question he would pause and grudgingly give a response, i will be like "ehn wat did u say" u will see d disgust in his face...aahan kilode, untop question......all dat and more made me make up my mind and we broke up #notime
ReplyDeleteposter2: ehn try to keep ur issues away from her then, or call her to order in d most polite way.
Happy weekend efribori!!!!
BarbieDoll......Ibadangeh
Woow ok here goes nothing.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1: you just have to keep praying this sort of thing happens everyday. Turn to God.
Narrative 2; choi! Your mum sounds harmless but could upset some bad belle people, please sit her down before home video things start happening *coughing*
Narrative 3: hnmmmmm go and hunt for another man. *runs away*
N1, it's very difficult o, but d situation here isn't what ur parents think now bc u re an adult. What is ur personal believe dts what u should be asking urself now. Its all abt u my dear, tell ur man d situation at hand n if he can handle d stress, u guys should forge ahead but if not, move on my dear. N2, ur mother is acting like how an average mother should do, she is just overwhelmed by things n couldn't control herself, so just tell her dt u don't like d way she tell ppl things abt u, dt if u want anyone to know, dt u should be d one telling ppl not her. Tell her dt if she didn't stop her act, dt u will stop telling her anything (dt should sound like a threat so dt she will know dt u re serious, even though it's just a talk). I no she will stop if u tell her d danger, n d havoc her actions might cause u if she didn't stop. N3, personally, I can't date a guy I can't be free to play, chat or even yarb togeda. That's d fun of every rship, d jokes, d childish plays etc, what fun will then be in d rship if u can't express urselves with one anoda. Pls sound it as a warning, threat, being mean so dt he will know dt u re serious n dt his actions are hurting u, n if he loves u, he will change. Forget d snooping tins bc any sharp guy won't leave any evidence behind dt will implicate him. So be wise, use ur head not ur heart.
ReplyDeletePoster1.Talk to your mum or go to your dad's family.don't give up yet. Poster2.If that's the case try to keep some secret from her.she can't stop talking it's her kind of person Poster3.Just Negodu Lmoooooooooooooo
ReplyDeletePoster 1,u want to leave ur man because ur father said so?ok ooo,..wait till u are 35,then u will understand what u did to urself,dat same father of urs will make u regret it,..better stand ur ground if u are sure he loves you and you love him, Let me give u some clues since u are a learner, try and find out which church ur father was born in before he drifted to pentecostal, use dat to blackmail him,afterall he wasn't a good example of staying in a church he was born in,..It worked for me..try it,it might work for u,. But don't let go of ur man oooo
ReplyDeleteStella, U don join the Bang wagon of "just NegodU" lol.
ReplyDeletePoster wit a talkative mum, pls caution her in a loving manner, tell her the implication, she ll understand.
Poster dat can't discuss with her boyfrnd, mm nnem communication is the Key o,
Poster with Pentecostal yoruba parents, love conquers all, if u love him, u both should work it out
NaRrative number 3: my r\ship wich I called quits in Feb ds year is almost lyk urs in terms of communication. hmmmmm mine ws 8 months in February n in my mind I just started withdrawing him frm my heart cos a r\
ReplyDeleteship dat lacks communication can't grow.
»He doesn't talk much
»Wen I ask simple questions he behaves lyk am too nosey
»wen he's a bad day @ work n I try t calm him down, he snaps somtimes n tells me t let him b. som hrs Lata, he wud b apologizing. mschew!
»He passwords his fone (I can't even snoop)
»Wen a lady calls him n am der he forms "network is bad" but he ansas well if its a guy.
»if he manages t tell me wen he wants t travel, he won't tell wot he"s going for or how long he wud stay
»I always luv t talk wt him evryday n so I tend t call often. He kud call once a day n d rest wud b chat. @ times, he kud stay two days wtout calling n he wud tell me he dint feel lyk talking t anyone. He wud also say he doesn"t want t fall helplessly in love wt me dats why he's guarding his heart n don't call often.
Der is more jare, but lemme stop here. I had t giv mysef brain n move on. I dint tell him I dnt want him anymore but in my heart I dd n its obvious in d attitude I giv him. I hardly call him now; he calls mayb once or twice a week n pings me weneva he deems fit n I respond wen I feel lyk. Am still finding closure sha cos I ws so used t him; talkin on fone n chatting.
Why all these u wud say, dear poster dnt put all ur eggs in one basket cos t me u r a side chic. A guy who finds it difficult t let u in on simple things lyk where he's travveling to n why he's traveling isn't into u. If he's nt telling u, he's telling smone else. I hate it wen a guy is pettyly secretive.
So which one are you saying you called it quits?
Delete"I didn't tell him, in my heart I did", I hardly call, etc? Etc? Etc?
Issorait
@3: He probably has some skeletons in his cupboard.
ReplyDeleteStella, u no go kill person o! Which one is that u r on leave from commenting? Lol!
ReplyDeletePoster 1: u alone know what u want. If u can not sit ur parents down and talk to them about what u want, then there's no reason being in that relationship.
Poster 3: if u can not communicate with ur bf, then swerve.
#1, Convince your mother first, who will then beg your dad, if they both refused, find someone they respect so much to persuade them. If they still say no, then please let go of the relationship. They might relent on his tribe but not his denomination, because you will have to become a catholic. Best of luck.
ReplyDelete#2, Simply minimize things you discuss with her, if possible be economical with some truths with her. You cannot hide properties, but anything like land or houses, keep it close to your chest until completed. Best of luck.
#3, Maybe he is the secretive type who don't like to put all his business out there and your relationship is still very young... Some people have trust issues due to past experience and they try to keep certain things to themselves just in case....at least you guys gist about other random things sha? Best of luck
Nitty.
Poster 1, Are you parents neatherndals?
ReplyDeleteIn this day and age,tribe and religion still matters?
Would that guarantee a succesful marriage?
Methinks you should have a long talk with your parents,be firm on what you want..
So they want a yoruba pentecostal for you?
What if he doesn't make you happy?
The earlier that people begin to have the mindset that marriage should be all about two people that are happy with themselves,the better a whole lotta people would be!
Poster 2,unfortuantely your mum is tailored that way,there is nothing you can do about it I'm afraid..
But hey,that's what makes her special,she is your mother!
Poster 3,sadly you aren't in a relationship..
Don't be so sure to say you have snooped and he is clean..what if your man is a smooth operator?
Do you think its every guy that leaves their business out there for people to snoop?
I'm sure by snooping you meant his phone?
You are a learner dear,if you can't communicate well with your supposed partner,then I'm afraid someone else has got the key to his heart..
Narrative 2: Stella nwunye Kork wot do u mean by spirit of posing. Abeg na OP (off point) u just talk. We all hb our weaknesses n vices. Dat blog visitor's mum's own is in her mouth. She's loquacious n dnt knw how t kip secrets. Dey r ppl lyk dat- men n women. She nids prayers. U knw u can't scold her lyk a child just put her case bfr God n also stylishly tel her wen she's in a good mood t learn how t zip her mouth n wen u can help it make sure u hide stuffs frm her.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, na dis same your papa go dey frown face if u no quick marry commot for him house. He will take your matter to the pastor at the end he will say you took after your mother's people. Ask him if a Catholic jilted him when he was young or an ibusa girl broke his heart. Make a wise decision dear don't allow anyone mess with your happiness.
ReplyDeleteNarrative number 1: just negodu. I feel like knocking som sense into u. If u dnt want d@ ur bobo any more, u can hand him ova t me. *side eyes*
ReplyDeleteHe loves u
His family loves U
Yet u want t sacrifice love n peace of mind on d alter of religion. Nawa o is ur dad going t live wt d man u wud marry? Does being a pentecostal make a man a good hubby? Delta guys rock oooo. The heart is all d@ matters n dats wot God looks @. I wud advice u go on ur knees n talk t God in prayers. Then look f ppl whom ur parents can listen to so dat dey can talk sense into ur parents. U will definitely overcome, b storng inugo. There r ppl dt hv been in ur situation n dey conquered. Whereas if ur guy really luvs u let him switch t pentecostal church f d time being afteral na 4 ur church una go wed then afta wedding can continue wt his catholicsm. No time dat u 26 dosent mean u hv d whole world @ ur feet. If. Miss ds good guy now, u might miss ur love of a lifetime.
*forgive any typos, am hungry o Jare*
P1, a relationship that ones parents is not endorsing doesn't really end well, even if you overlook all odds and go ahead with the marriage it would still end up negatively. P2, please put your mum in your prayers for God to tame her tongue. Its not good in this kind of environment we live in. P3, apparently the guy is not yet at home with you. Why bug him, leave him alone, he might just be watching you and want to know you better and here you are bothered bothered about it.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, when I was 26 I was dating an Edo guy but my parents said never will I marry from another. Am a Yoruba Lady, attends redeem but didn't marry until 7yrs later. Now am married to a Delta guy who is a catholic. Guess what, his family is the cutest have ever seen and they all adore me most esp his mum. So think twice o. There are some issues an adult has to be stubborn about. Forget this I must listen to my parents at all cost. I yaff sed ma own
ReplyDeletePoster1...talk2him
ReplyDeletePoster2....talk2urmum
Poster3....walkaway
Waiting for Bonaparte NN
ReplyDeletePoster one tell the guy the truth and leave the poor guy alone since you said your heart has started walking away. Let him know his stand biko
ReplyDeletePoster two make una stop telling her things and when she comes visiting make una try to be as drama free as possible.
Poster 3 you really tried for 8mnts dating a guy you know not his destination or mission and you say you've snooped and he's clean or you refused to snoop deep in order not to find what will tear you apart. You better borrow brain from any friend or family since u seem to lack any at all and walk away as you are dating... I don't even know cos if you are even dating yourself you should be able to advice yourself
Please help a sister..
ReplyDeleteI have been celibate for years..no kissing, touching or cuddling. In fact I haven't dated in a long time. I have managed to control the situation and it helped my spiritual life..The thing is..These days..I'm going out of my mind..everything I see or hear reminds me of sex..especially during ovulation..I'm always super horny...I avoid the male folks and lock myself in doors till I'm done ovulating..
But I can't continue like that...right now an old friend of mine is on his way to see..I can't stop thinking of sleeping with him..I'm so finished...This is not how I started out..but it seems I'm turning into someone I can't even recognise...
Mscheww abeg go sleep
DeleteMercy,stop suffering your self...get laid and be happy...this life no get duplicate ohh...
DeleteGrab the dude when he comes and fuck the shit out if him...
Pls go and buy condom from ur neighborhood aboki.
DeleteMake U no send story like yest poster.
When shit happens, people will be quick to forget it's the ladies that mostly call the shots on when s*x happen.
Lol.
DeleteTrust Linda to give you better advice.
Eeeya,nne I feel u.
DeleteSending u warm hugs n Prayers.
Buh U know u can still stay celibate if u wanna.
Yea! U can baby!
If only Stella go post this comment. Since I started using my new infinix I hardly see my comments on posts and I've posted over 20 comments in the last week. Anyways, poster I'm in the same situation as you. I'm celibate, still a virgin (well technically) and I can't get sex outta ma mind esp before that time of the month. I think we're suffering from sexual repression or sth like that. Me I use porn to let off steam but it's affecting my spiritual life like crazy. It's only God that'll help us.
DeleteNow stells, that's exactly how to use #Just Negodu.......hahahaha,
ReplyDeletePoster 1 face God and let him reveal if this is your husband. Next if Na yes continue tell God he isn't a God of confusion and he will make a way. No shortcuts.,be honest,frank respectful to everyone
ReplyDeletePoster 2 orsy for your Mama. The eye of understanding know the live if God. And let the Holy Spirit fill her with love of zChrist. ur mama di use talking, to relief her pain,
Poster 3 u r idle. Run ur own business and u c uf the guy would not want to seek your attention get busy with something, readx books ,baking, Mani pedi etc
P1, I think you should let your bf know what he is up against, don't keep him in the dark. if you guys really love each other, religious/ tribal differences and sentiments should not be a barrier. All the best.
ReplyDeleteP2, for your mum, you can keep it simple with her. The less she knows, the less she turn Radio Nigeria. if she notice you are keeping things away from her and she ask you, respectfully tell her you are not comfortable with how she broadcast your gist. above all, wisdom is profitable to direct.
P3, Communication is a vital key, make judicious use of it.
Poster 3, communication is very important for any relationship to work out try finding a way to talk to him when he is at his happiest.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 talk to your mum in a subtle way. I have a friend whose mum is like that and she spoke to her mum. Though her mother was sad at first she later understood and adjusted. I tell my mum how I feel whenever she does something I don't like. She might get mad at me but then my message has been passed and she'd eventually calm down.
@ poster 1.... I have a friend in a similar ordeal as yours and the delta guy loves her but she dey claim say she dey go christ embassy so she no fit marry am cos she no wan leave her church. Let me tell you when u keep to this stupid sentiment of church girl, u go just old for house n by that time your parents will willing marry u off as a 3rd wife or even to a muslim sef to get rid of u in there house..... Funmi i hope say no be you dey trouble my brother, yeye girl
ReplyDeletePOSTER 3: Hope you are NOT dating an armed robber?????!!!! Muru kwa anya ka azu!
ReplyDeleteposter 1....your parents may have had a nasty experience with catholics, I suggest u ask them. Now, you WILL not marry your father. many years ago he decided to spend his life with your mother and so their own time has gone. THIS IS YOUR TURN. So continue to prayerfully understand your guy, if he truly is decent and loves u crazy, abeg go ahead. LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!! If u keep waiting for the day ur parents approve a guy for u, U GO WAIT TAYA OR WORSE, marry a guy THEY like and then be asking for advise from Stella on how to love your husband.
ReplyDelete