WEDNESDAY IN HOUSE NEWS.

How far?

Soldier go,soldier come...Barracks still dey where e dey ooooh!

A BANKER'S PAIN

Dearest STELLA,

    I have struggled with the idea of writing you. Its turning into depression for me. I go home and cant sleep because i am scared of what tomorrow will hold for me at my office. I am a marketing staff with one of the banks in Awka.

    Its so tough now and i am not making any headway in terms of deposit mobilisation. Please my blog family, help me. Especially people in awka and southeast. (I think we have a blog visitor from Gov Obiano's camp, Please help me oooooooo)They say it is borderless marketing. So no matter your location, you can support me. I pray you all will try fixed deposit with us for a very good rate. Also if you have a relation or a friend that can spare me the millions (fallow money) for just a month so that my name will stop reigning for poor performance in MPR, do help me.They want to hear i brought 20 million, 50 million. Even me, i want that too so that i can breathe and sleep well. 

    Please I am a mother to two kids, and i really need to work. I want to be able to take care of my kids.

my contact phone number is 08128321158,08161349352. Thank you Stella. Your platform never fails. you guys are my last resort ooooooo.

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A MULTITUDE OF AMEBO GIST....NA WAH!

My people una welldone o.  Tuale for the mothers in the house, una too try. Na so we all agreed to celebrate our mumsy during this last Mothering Sunday. I stopped over to pick my younger sister that was writing his waec. It was late that we couldn’t make travelling to our place since it is getting late, I decided to spend the night with her in her rented apartment. Very early in the morning, I heard some noise, I felt it is for dream as the sleep dey enter my medulla, but the noise was persistent. I take style peep outside through window, see one baba and some students displaying drama. The students always wake up early to take their bath outside before day break. I don’t know where the baba dey come from that early morning, he was facing  those students wey dey bath like face me I face you house. Baba felt remorse but his action couldn’t prove it as I believe he enjoyed what he saw.  

Baba: Ewo sorry o

Students: Ok baba you can go

Baba: Ewo sorry oo

Students: Ok baba, oya go nah

Baba: Ewo sorry ooo

Students: Baba go nah, we’ve heard you abi na Punani you take style come see, NA so one of them vex, kom meet the baba, push her two breast for baba mouth, open her punani, show am, say oya come and see it, shebi na standing apple you wan come see, oya, don’t run, all of them rushed the baba (nakedness), push am on the floor and lie down on top him, it was our intervention that rescued baba o, he was breathing profusely and running temperature. Stella, that place fit be your village o, the kinda nosalina there though.  After the drama, we no come sleep again rather than prepare to take off.

Ok, the mothering Sunday proper,we say make we follow  mama go church, go dance with her. For the seat wey I sit down, one woman seated there with her baby. The baby was disturbing, finding it left, right and centre, with time, the woman take style comot am, started breast feeding the baby while maintaining the cover up. The baby no gree ooo, vum, he used his hand to push away the towel the mama use cover her breast, throw it away, the mama rush and pick the towel, still trying to cover her breast, the boy no gree ooo, nas so I dey watch the drama dey go, I no kom concentrate for the mass. I kukuma dust my bom bom, change to another seat. Gbam, e don reach sermon, na so the priest come they ask all the children questions and promise them some gifts thereof. Priest: Who will tell me what we are celebrating today?

Damilola: We are celebrating our mothers

Priest: Who will tell me your reason for liking your mum?

Nneka: I love my mummy because she is so kind

Priest: Clap for her, you win my price, next

Chidubem: I like my mummy because she is so pretty,  cares for me, feed me and buy clothes for me. Bla,bla,bla. The priest now turn the question opposite. I want 10 children here to give me one reason why they don’t like their mummy.  Omo that one na 7 O’clock news ooo.

My name is Uche, I don’t like my mummy because she always beat me.

Priest: What makes her beat you, 

Uche: She beats me when I didn’t do my chores. 

Another child: My mummy beats me when I touch her phone.

Fatima: I don’t like my mum because she beats my daddy and that our neighbor. 

Come and see shout for church. Priest come ask the child why the mother beat the daddy, she said on the bed, Piam,  the woman use back seat comot for church. I no remember seeing her in the church that day. After church, we go house go celebrate Best mum. 

I came back to Lagos, party dey chele for my friend house, naming ceremony. Piam, I dress go. For the seat I was sitting, as if I know amebo go dey, my friend invited me inside her house, I told her I prefer outside. By then, two ladies beside me have started sweet gist. The conversation is like this,

Iyawo:  Honestly, that guy is annoying me.

Friend: But why did you allow her to stay with you people?

Iyawo: He said I cannot dictate to him what he will do

Friend: I was thinking she is blood related

Iyawo: For where, he said the girl mama help him when she was selling food, and he decided to pay back

Friend: How old is the girl?

Iyawo: She is 18

Friend: Haba, why should you live on the same roof with a grown up girl like that, inside one room, with your husband?

Iyawo: I warned my husband but he insisted that he has been living with the girl before me. That the girl fed him after cooking while he was sick.

Friend: So how do you guys sleep for night, because I know the room is small?

Iyawo: We all make use of one foam, the girl will be at the extreme end, I will be at the centre and my hubby will be at other extreme.

Friend: If una wan make love nko, wouldn’t the girl see you guys?

Iyawo: My hubby do send her on errand while we quickly do or if I enter toilet, he will take style join.

Friend: But she doesn’t greet you nah, last time you came back from market, my daughter told her that you are coming back, she hissed and eyed you.

Iyawo: My dear, that is how I see it. And I dare not beat her, because my hubby warned me never to raise my hand on her.

Friend: Caution the girl on how to dress, she dresses like a small prostitute

Iyawo: I did last time, she said I hated her and reported me to my husband who instructed me to be be using the girl former position on bed, while the girl will be at my position (middle) closer to him.

Friend: What rubbish, cant you report him to your parents or his people?

Iyawo: He said I should not let anybody know that the girl is with us.

Friend: Which means he is married to two wives

Iyawo: I don’t know ooo

Omo at this juncture my celebrant friend say make I come help am serve her guest, it pained me say I no hear their last gist. Some women are in hell all in the name of marriage. 

Signing out like Mrs Korkus. 

LMAO..One needs patience to read through,i found them really interesting and funny,especially the child that said his mum beats the dad..hahahahaha

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PLEASE READ THIS - PATRONAGE NEEDED TO SURVIVE

Hello Stella,

My name is Olumide, I stay in Lagos. I am married with one son and presently I have no job. I do installation of electrical wiring, inverter, ups, solar system and house wiring.

Please Stella I need assistance, I am really in need of help right now as a husband and a father.I need to provide for my family,pay my house rent and my son’s school fees.

Please help me to post it in the in house news so that blog visitors can patronize me.I will send shoki as soon as I make money.

Phone Numbers: 08037207424,07055229622

Thank You.

We dont really need the shoki,we just pray that you get patronage to be able to stand up as a man for your family.

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MEMO TO THOSE WHO CANNOT TIE THEIR TWO LEGS TOGETHER....

Stella Bae,

God bless your soul for the lives you are impacting positively through your blog.

Stella, I want to use this medium to create awareness for one of our Online Publications, which was written to show believers in Christ Jesus how to overcome Masturbation, Sexual Struggles, and all manner of Compulsive Habits.

The actual cost of the ebook is $7.00, but your Bvs can have it for 400.00 Naira only. That's more than a 50% discount.

The link to the ebook is: https://payhip.com/b/K8oR. Please check it out.

Interested Bvs should send an email to colp2015@gmail.com for details.

Thanks and God bless SDK and her Fans.

From an SDK Fan 

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MAKE UP ARTIST NEEDED IN BELGIUM

Hallo Stella, compliments of the day.. I am in need of a good make up artist who is a blog visitor. My children's church dedication is coming soon, and I would like to look really good. Any interested blog visitors who resides in Belgium should please send me mail on kelechine31@yahoo.com

Thank you stella.

A loud shout out to all the blog visitors in Belgium,I am coming to Brussels soon.

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Flatmate needed. ....YOU DONT NEED TO PAY!

I'm male, in my 20s, working class. I need a flat mate (completely platonic, and cooking isn't a requirement...lol); Female, 20s, educated, working class, neat and attractive. The apartment is a New, 3 bedroom flat located off Ado road, Ajah. My present flat mate is moving out on posting from work at the end of the month, and the rent doesn't expire till December (so no rent required, maybe sharing some house expenses and bills). I grew up in a large family, and would prefer not to stay alone.

You can buzz me on 08081639002.

Cheers!

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SOFT COPY OF 'LADY IN WAITING

Any BV with a soft copy of the book 'Lady in waiting'by Jackie Kendall & Debby Jones should please forward to this email address bukolabodun@gmail.com

Thanks and God bless ya...................

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REAL ESTATE AT YOUR SERVICE

We are FOREMOST NETWORK HOMES a Real Estate company in Lagos with Integrity, Trust and Reliability, always willing to Serve you better. We assist our client in getting a good deal in Real Estate when buying a property, renting, valuing, managing and doing background checks on prospective tenant etc. We specialise in making things easier for you, kindly get across to us on 08029575584 and we will surely put a smile on your face.

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A HONEST APPEAL FOR ROOF OVER HEAD IN PORTHARCOURT FOR 2 DAYS.

Stella, God bless for all you keep doing. I had reached out to you some time in 2013,all didn't go down well and I was really hurt as I had never opened up to anyone about my situation and when I got so comfortable here,i did pour out my heart even with all evidence, I was cussed out and never heard from a lady who initially wanted to help. I'd put that behind me each time I read positive response from beneficiaries here on this blog and I will be like, where did I get it all wrong? 

Well, am here again and I hope to find help. I was invited for an interview in Port Harcourt on Monday the 11th of may. I sincerely need a roof over my head for two days My feeding and transportation is all on me. I have been through a lot in recent times that I can't afford lodging. I Am willing to provide any other information Stella or my intending Helper would need. Please I can be reached on 08057572262. 

So sorry for the long story. Remain blessed.

LOL..@cussed out...dot mind blog visitors ojare but you wont blame them,we look out for each other so that no one is scammed.

Abeg make una help am oh before she go ask herself again where she get am wrong..lol

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FEEDBACK

Stella, I am writing this feedback for a post you made for me some months back when I was in need of a party planner for my son's birthday party on may 3rd.Stella, I am pleased to let you know that I got a very talented event company by name PARTY MASTERS from your blog.These people turned from business partners to family overnight.I love them with my heart and I thank you for helping me meet such wonderful individuals.I also met another BV through the same means and we are as close as can be, she n her family stayed till the party ended @ night n we had mad fun.Finally, i'd luv to say thank you to CYNHAMS she no disappoint @ all,tho its not the first time I'm patronising her but she woowed me with my red velvet cupcakes and small chops.I really appreciate you Stella.God bless you

AMEN OH 

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AMEBO GIST CONCERNING YOU AND I

Hello Stella, 

Anonymous be my name today. Lol
Biko straight to the point. Like joke , like joke na so person for just de waka for road come drop dead pom!
Na so I follow my oga go hospital oh cos e na doctor. Of course person wey no get malaria, typhoid, cold and catarrh and probably tohtoh problem no de sick, at least from we female perspective. Na im I sey make I use their Hospital take  cervical vaccine, plus e get one vaccine wey get cervical/ genital warts vaccine. Cos this cervical thing scares the shit outta my head. Na im my oga sey that one go beta for me sey genital warts no be wetin person suppose experience . To be frank, na for your blog I first hear of genital warts oh. Google come be my friend I come see the picture. Ahh! I come gree. My oga come sey ehen sey make me even register for the hospital sef you know as normal. Oya make I go do vitals, na im I enter , dem check bp, first one show 185/(I no come remember the diastolic. Them shout, nurse check second time, ahh, 182 or so. Check third one 172. Na im dem sey wetin? Me sef confuse. Them sey wetin I de think,na im I sey I no fit place hand on any major thinkers corner oh. Like joke na so I come get doctor appointment. Just like that. By now my heart don de pump go my village out of fear. Them come send me go do general blood kiniko, they came out fine. 

Only the systolic de one kind. Nne, na so dem take give me hyper drug oh. Me wey no come hospital for any Pim come collect ogwu( drug). 

 Na im oga sey make I go call driver come oh, make e come register. Meanwhile I don de yab that one sey im belle ( Kai Stella, that man belle big like 15months pregnancy , come overlap gbam! I tell am sey dem go first use injection deflate am. E sey nothing De do am, sey na because of obedience to oga na I'm make am de go do oh. Na so e enter im own vitals. Stella, you will not believe it, the man own reach Madagascar tanda for there. For my eyes, na so the man collect bed oh. Fear come de catch me for body.
The essence of this be sey, most of the time we think we are fine, no sickness, nothing. But underneath we are slowly heading for God help us zone. If not for this like joke vitals, na so person go drop gbim! And we blame it on the sleeping witches and wizards wey no get our particulars. Biko I appeal to my people here, once in a while make we de go check ourselves for hospital. The stress hustling for money is enough to slowly finish black man for we obodo naija. I sign out.

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URGENT VACANCY POST.

A clothing store urgently needs a Male accountant in their company for immediate start. HND holders preferred. Interview takes place on Thursday 7th May by 10am at 93a Opebi, Ikeja. Kindly go with your CV please. 

Yours truly

Mrs Shoki.

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FREE TRAINING FOR IBADAN BVS

I hope this mail meets you well.

I want to thank you for being such an inspiration to so many and for the amazing benefits I've gotten from this blog.

To show appreciation,I would like to pay it forward by holding a free 2 week training session in bead work/jewellery making starting with ibadan bv's( they will be paying for materials though).

These are samples of what I'll be teaching..

Please send a mail to aloveeeet@gmail.com for more details if interested and please indicate if you have any beading skills already.

For further info,I'm on instargram @glitz_accessories and WhatsApp 08096006921.

Keep doing what you do stella!!!

Thank you!!!

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PARTY/SOUVENIR SHOP AT YOUR SERVICE

 We are a party favor and souvenir shop with shops in two locations in Lagos namely suite C308 Ikota Shopping complex,VGC and shops 10 & 114 Abibatu Mogaji Model market, iponri,surulere,Lagos. Call on us for your children's birthday party packs and gifts at very affordable prices. Tel: 08023078928. The 1st five customers get birthday cake or gift for the celebrant. We also have souvenirs for all occasions. You can email us at littlesmarties86@yahoo.com. Thanks.

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CHIOMA WANTS TO WOW YOU WITH HER BAGS

Hallo Stel,

wie geht's Ihnen und Ihre familie?

Stel i'm a mother of 3 boys and also a student here in Germany, not living too far from you. I sell designer authentic leather bags and shoes like @moschino, @prada, @celvin klein, @paul costelloe, @chanel, @kate lee, @francesco biasia, @christian louboutine, @micheal kors, and more at a discount rate.

I can be contacted through BB pin-52D0180B or whats no-004915210604585.

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CHINA iPHONE 6 AMEBO GIST PART 2

....So this was how the kind hearted lady offered Tonia accommodation against my advice. I decided to mind my business. Since Tonia had no job then she begin follow this woman every where and this lady is a full time house wife. The husband refused to allow her work.

I didn't really like Tonia. So I had to distance myself from the lady because anytime we try to do anything together like go shopping or saloon you'd see Tonia tagging along.

Months after I noticed her husband stopped attending church. He wasn't much of a church goer so I wasn't surprised. Then sister Tonia came to give testimony of her new job. I join her rejoice half heartedly and she knew because I don't pretend or hide my feelings. So I went to meet the lady she was staying with and told her that since Tonia has a job it's high time she rents a place on her own. The lady (let me name her Sandra ) agreed to my suggestion and said she'd give Tonia some months to settle down . Before I forget, it was Sandra's husband that got Tonia a job.

One early morning I decided to go jogging I saw a car driving towards my direction because the street light was directly facing them I could see 2 people in the car giggling seriously. As the car drew close I saw it was Sandra's husband and Tonia. On my way back from jogging I went to knock on Sandra's door and advised her again that this friendliness between her husband and Tonia Don dey too much. In fact the hand shake Don reach elbow. That morning the attitude she gave me made me feel like I was sounding like a broken record. No so I dust my feet carry my left and right leg go my house.

Not long after Sandra started travelling abroad frequently. One summer break she was away for about 3 months. The kids school even resumed before she returned. I began to suspect something was amiss. All the trips were without her husband. I jokingly asked her if her husband now has a 2nd wife. She told me my suspicious mind was working over time say I Don even use my mind pursue Tonia comot from her house. According to her Tonia thanked her and moved out on her own. She didn't even have to ask her. For my mind I say good riddance. Then I brought another conspiracy theory say what if after she travel Tonia sneaks back when she is away. She laughed it off say even her security Don swear say nothing like that happen. I say okay oh. I rest my case. 

Sometime reach I noticed her kids were not coming to church with her again and she stopped driving to church. I noticed one day when I saw her sneaking to one corner to change from flat slippers to high heel. After church closed she was just loitering around till the crowd had reduced I just parked my car dey observe her and I saw she was trekking home. I quickly drove behind her and offered her a lift and asked ''Madam wetin do your car?'' Another excuse. She said it was faulty. I can bet my flat behind they had about 4 cars parked in their compound.

Chai! My battery is flat make I send this one before it goes off.

Love Y'all.

Make we continue tomorrow oooh.

Woooow.i cant wait for tomorrow's own!.

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MAKE UP ARTIST NEEDS PATRONAGE IN CALABAR

Hello everyone,

I am a makeup artist based in calabar I am soliciting for patronage

from Bvs. The first two Bvs would get a makeover at a giveaway price

of 10k while others would get at a discounted price also. I can be

reached on 08058680743.

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Appreciation to jolicestores

Hey Stella. I bought a shoe from jolicestores and she gave another free. Jolicestores, thanks a lot. God bless your hustle.

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Thank you to BV Brownsugar

I want to say a very big thank you to Bv brown sugar for blessing me with 2lovely gowns, a bag and she still promised me a gown. Thanks a million BrownSugar. You may not know how grateful I am. I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. May you know no lack IJN

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Accommodation For Nurse Corpers

Hey stellz, how are you doing, so I got posted to Lagos stream 1 and am in camp already, am nervous as hell but I gotta do what i gotta do right.anyway I need a little favour, I would like to ask bvs if they know any hospitals in lagos(Lekki/ajah environs) that provides accommodation for nurse corpers, because I don't want to be stranded after camp as well as the rest of my service year. Thanks guys

Signed

Thatgirlyouknow

Wishmeluck.

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MAY GIVEAWAY FOR BLOG VISITORS FROM SONIA

Hello Stella, 

Really love your blog. It has impacted me in ways I can't explain, positively . I want to use this means to touch one or two lives as little as I can . I have some clean nice shoes and clothes I Would like to give a lady that needs them. I would send them through which ever means necessary . Just please help me get someone .

Also, I want to give 10k to 3people that actually need it. I know it's small , but it's just my little way of telling God ' thank you. 

soniasameno@gmail.com

Thank you 

Sonia honey sorry oh,i have included your email address so that they can mail you and you can pick the lucky persons.GOD bless your good heart darling.

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Purchasing from Abroad

Hi guys,

I'm also based aboard (Uk more precisely) like Frances. I will be more than happy to help anyone purchase things they want from UK and run reasonable errands for them here. I would ask for a 10-15% surcharge and require you to pay for your own postage. From time to time I would gladly chip in, to make it cheaper for you :). 

Those BVs in Abuja, I'll be coming back to Abuja at the end of June, so if there's anything (in a reasonable sense) you would like me to help you bring, then please get in touch quickly. If it's alot of stuff and you would want a box or 2 for it, please be prepared to pay for additional luggages. 

My name is Anna and you can contact me at bellealfa@icloud.com.

Thank you :)

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BLOG VISITOR VEHICLE STOLEN.

Stolen Vehicle! Toyota Pick up, Black Colour, Reg no JJJ441AJ, it had a
cracked wind screen due to a mishap at the petrol station on Sunday.
Please call 08062085459, 08023598617 or contact the nearest Police station.

It was stolen on May 4,2015.

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 Shop sharing space avaliable

I hail thee Madam Stellalistic(Queen of all Blogs), I hope this mail meets you well. Please I want you to help me post this as I have a big shop on a Major road in Maryland but am looking for a genuine, calm and good makeup artist who I can rent a bit of the space to . I sell female Clothings, shoes and bags but recently found out that my space can be divided to bring in more customers. that's why I would prefer a makeup artist in dire need of a small space to do her jobs( please note only makeup services and goods of makeup can be sold) so we don't distract each others business. I paid a 2 year rent and just used 6 months so whoever is coming in pays just for 1 and a half years( not collecting any agency fee from the occupant) though I paid that for 2 years. Guaranteed parking space also for our customers . 1 year rent @ 200k while the 6 months at 100k.  Please I can be reached on --- millicious6@gmail.com

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SMALL CHOPS TRAINER NEEDED 

Dear BLOG Visitors,

I am in need of a small chops trainer. I am really interested in making a living out of making small chops, cocktails, finger foods etc. I would be very grateful if there's any blog visitor in Lagos willing to train me. I'm free all day every week fromMonday to Friday and I don't mind commencing my training next month. I can be contacted via this email address small.chops@yahoo.com.

  

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THANK YOU MR ABIMBOLA FOR MY IMMIGRATION TRANSPORTATION FARE

Good morning Stella, thanks for always being there for the needy people,

you will never lack too. I want to thank Mr. Abimbola that contacted

me and sent me #10,000 for my Immigration transportation fare. He sent

to me yesternight, went to Wuse Market this morning to get the White

Shorts, White T-Shirt, White Canvas and White Socks, I spent #4,000 on

all these and I'm on my way to Jabi Park heading to Ibadan with the

remaining #6,000. Thanks so much to Mr. Abimbola, you will never lack

and all your helpers will locate you this month IJN. Wishing myself a

successful journey and a victorious interview. Thanks and stay bless

I pray that you are selected so that we go know say we get person for Immigration.

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Story one goes like this: 

my BIS suppose expire yesterday at 4:30pm na so I carry my two left leg enter closet ATM to recharge my phone. There was heavy downpour of rain I no mind just because of extra 3weeks free MTN dey dash if you subscribe automatically na so I recharge through ATM o but dem no recharge me. ATM debit my account but when I check my airtime  balance on my phone na still  80 naira chai how do I do automatic subscription and how do I read SDK and how do I chat with MY SPECIAL FRIEND. Student life get as e take be o based on money issue. The fear of being out of SDK blog for a minute is the beginning of sourcing for money for subscription. I have subscribed sha but up till now first bank never send me my airtime wey I buy sha. Awoof dey run belle no be small. Lolz

Story two goes like this: 

Na one woman dey give her son serious beatings this morning o. Nahin I run go look. you know that kind beating wey dem go dey talk dey flog join am. Stick break 4 the small boy body. Una wey grow with una grandparent una lucky sha o bcos most grand parent prefer words to beating.

  According to the woman that, the boy doesn't  want to go to school. After dressing him on his school uniform. Blue shirt, white short and white canvas see fine boy fair in complexion. Oya make we dey go school says his mum but the boy went and spoil himself in a mud. Chai white canvas turn brown same goes with the white short. Na so I remember OMO advert about a boy getting himself spoil by mud lolz. This small boy here no know sey OMO cost and to wash no be moi-moi.   O boy! mama wan craze. She jus dey flog the boy dey talk at same time. Kan carry the boy go house go change for d boy but the canvas brown small follow the guy go school ooo.

Sorry for the long story oo. I still be learner for where mama nnuku dem dey. Your one and only BV  VICTOR ONIMISI till we meet again

*side eyes*...So,errrrm this is supposed to be funny?as in we are supposed to laugh?.. ok let me look for my laughter,i dey come! *tongue click*


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RUMOUR HAS IT....

Rumour has it that 'Rumour has it'' will be posted sometime tomorrow.

Well rumour merchants are on their way back from ''site'' .LMAO!

PLEASE SEND YOUR IN HOUSE NEWS PROPERLY ORGANISED COS I AINT GONNA DO IT FOR YOU.IF YOU DIDNT SEE YOURS TODAY,IT IS PROBABLY AMONGST THOSE FOR TOMORROW..

Signing out...

D-KORK

Blognalist /Proud social entrepreneur